Jen Mann's Blog, page 12

Hello? Is There Anybody Out There?

Heyyyy! I feel like I haven't seen you in forever! Do you feel like that? Well, between working on a ton of new projects and Zuckerberg doing his damnedest to keep us apart, I thought I'd give you an update on what's been happening.


First of all, Zuck, does not want us to be friends anymore. I get it. He's running a business and he wants to make money just like I do. The thing is, I'd be more than happy to pay that guy enough to buy a few new hoodies every month (and maybe even a new pair of...

Gwyneth Tries to Live on $29 a Week

Poor, poor, poor, filthy rich Gwyneth can not catch a break! That girl needs to fire her publicity department, because between peddling $550 travel backgammon sets as great stocking stuffers and touting the benefits of steamed vaginas, Gwyneth isn't getting the kind of press that does her any good. She's become the out of touch celebrity who sounds a tad crazy every time she opens her mouth. It's become so bad that no matter what she does she's vilified.


Take for example this week's publicity...

Figuring Out Why I Drink

This year I've partnered with Responsibility.org as one of their #TalkEarly bloggers. I was very excited when Responsibility.org asked me to join them, because now that my kids are getting older―Gomer is 10 and Adolpha is 8―we're talking more and more about the pressures they're already starting to face with regards to alcohol. I'm amazed by how many questions they're asking me! 
“Why do people drink alcohol?” “Why is it only for adults?”“What does it taste like?” “Can't I just...

The One Trophy I Won't Throw Away

I'm a terrible mom and I don't care who knows it.

It was the night before the cleaning lady was scheduled to come and so we were doing the "cleaning for the cleaning lady dance." Yes, that's a thing, people. You can't really turn over your house to the cleaning lady in it's normal disgusting state. She can't know what pigs you really are. And if you want her to clean properly, you've got to get your crap off the floors. She's not going to vacuum if you've got Legos, stuffed animals, and dirty...

Lululemon Won't Crush Your Man's Balls

"My balls are too big for these pants. I wish there was a solution."
Let me just file story this under, HUGE ASS SIGH.

Men make fun of women and the purchases we make to help us fight wrinkles, fat, and errant chin hairs. But, you know what? Sometimes men are just as stupid as we are. It might be vanity that keeps us buying more creams and Spanx. We're motivated to make our asses bigger or smaller, our necks firmer, our hair silkier. Our handwriting neater?? Those poor companies that cater to...

I STILL Just Want to Pee Alone is HERE

I'm sure that you've noticed that I've been quiet for a while, that's because I've been working on a very important project!!


I am sooooooooooooooooooo excited to announce that I STILL Just Want to Pee Alone is available TODAY on Amazon, Nook, and iBooks!! (I can't stop yelling!!)

This is the third anthology and I swear they just keep getting better. I am so excited to bring back some of my veteran contributors and to introduce you to some MORE kick ass bloggers that you might not...

Throat Punching in Paradise

This week I'm on Spring Break with the fam in Hawaii.

After a 16-hour journey we finally arrived in beautiful Hawaii. The first thing I noticed was the beautiful weather. "Ahhh," I said. "Sooooo much better than home." Then I checked my Facebook feed and saw that someone was bragging about 70 degrees back home.

Well, you know what? It's still Hawaii, asshole.



We settled in and the Hubs and I immediately started fighting about what we should do. The Hubs and I have very different ideas of...

Placenta Sushi

Last night I was minding my own business when Karen from Baby Sideburns put up a link to a woman's blog where she describes eating her own placenta. Karen said, "Someone needs to write about this. Jen?" If you know anything about me, you know I'm a little crazy about placenta. I like to make sure that everyone knows about the proper accessory to carry your placenta around the town in. Or if you're more of an eater, I enjoy telling you about how much I love to eat placenta. OK, I really...

Heartless Homeowner's Association Denies Sick Child Her Wish

Today I was scrolling through my newsfeed when I saw an epic throat punch story happening almost literally in my back yard. I couldn't resist chiming in. I know a lot of you have read my Suburban Scourges book think I exaggerate about how awful some of the people are who live near me. I think this story will show you that I can't make this shit up.

Picture courtesy of the familySo, here's the story. There is a six-year-old girl named Ella who lives in a nearby town. She is very sick with...

Lies Dads Tell

We all know about telling little white lies to our kids.  This dad lies to his daughter everyday for a reason.  These are the kinds of sacrifices we make for our kids. 

CLICK HERE if the video does not load.

Disclaimer: I was not paid by Metlife to share this.

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