Zero Angel Richardson's Blog
January 16, 2020
Hello, I'm Zero
It was easier to wipe the slate clean and start anew than it was to try to filter what parts of my past I still identified with. I'm a new person, hence, new blog. I may eventually go back and re-explore some older articles, but for now, I'd like to focus on new content.
My name is Zero. My pronouns are they, them, their.
I am a writer, mathematician, artist, and educator.
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My name is Zero. My pronouns are they, them, their.
I am a writer, mathematician, artist, and educator.
Read more »
April 30, 2018
Some Spoiler Thoughts on Avengers 3 (Infinity War)
spoilers spoilers spoilers spoilers spoilers spoilers spoilers spoilers spoilers spoilers spoilers spoilers
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April 16, 2018
Dungeon Landlord 007
In Pursuit of the Ultimate Cheat, I Reluctantly Became a Dungeon (Land)Lord
7 - GrowthSlia and I were able to successfully digest Slib. I had made a fatal error in my understanding of the absorption process. Turns out the relevant stat to absorb another slime (at least in this scenario, not going to immediately assume it applies elsewhere) is Ego, not HP. Although I think HP has something to do with it? Anyway. According to Denya, if it hadn’t been for Slia’s intervention, it was debatable whether my tenure as a landlord was already up. Thankfully, Slia did intervene. And we both experienced some growth. Name: Prota Player: Unknown Race: Intelligent slime(?) Gender: Neutral Age: 0 LV: 1 HP: 5→6 MP: 8→9 Str: 3 Mot: 5 Spd: 1 Apt: 2 Hea: 1→2 Cre: 2→3 End: 3→5 Log: 3 Dex: 1 Cha: 5 Agi: 0 Ego: 1(0)→3
I’m not sure what Slia’s stats were like before the merger (since I hadn’t really been paying attention other than its hit points), but I was feeling a little annoyed with them to be honest. Name: Slia Owner: Prota Race: Baka slime Gender: Neutral Age: Unknown LV: 3 HP: 5 MP: 1 Str: 4 Mot: 7 Spd: 2 Apt: 3 Hea: 3 Cre: 3 End: 3 Log: 1 Dex: 1 Cha: 7 Agi: 1 Ego: 5
Skills: Tackle (Beginner); Magic Tackle; Greater Absorption [Passive] (Beginner); Negotiation (Beginner); Fealty [Passive] (Apprentice)First of all, that race! “Baka slime”? Isn’t that just an insult?No matter how I look at it, its stats are already matched or past mine. And what’s with those skills? There’s a ranking system for skills? Why aren’t any of my skills ranked?So even its skills are beyond mine? So it’s Untrained → Beginner → Apprentice → Journeyman → Professional → Master And this little punk already has two skills at Beginner and one skill at Apprentice before I’ve got a single trained skill? Tch. Just because I haven’t been practicing doesn’t mean I don’t expect massive growths. I’m supposed to be a cheat character, aren’t I? Where’s my cheat? My subordinate is already stronger than me? My non-existent cheeks felt hot. I mentally coughed to clear my mind throat, But still, the ranking is too nominal. <. . . I believe so, Master.>What’s with the hesitation? Another moment went by before Slia’s skills came up again.Skills: Tackle Lv 5; Magic Tackle Lv 1; Greater Absorption [Passive] Lv 7; Negotiation Lv 5; Fealty [Passive] Lv 15. will get you so far before plateauing. If you can breakthrough that point through your studies or some insight, then you will continue to improve.>A new slime pancaked its way inside. The HUD responded to my mental command and I checked both the ego and HP before continuing. It's nice to have people—err, monsters—to rely on, but I'm not going to be worthless my entire second life. If I’m a slime, I’ll improve the only way I know how. Magic tackle!I imagined the look of horror on the slime’s expressionless nonface from the impending doom that is me bearing down out of the darkness, but it was much more anticlimactic. The slime popped inside with a schmorp and floated listlessly inside me. It’s a little strange being able to see inside yourself, but it’s even more strange being able to see inside of yourself when there’s another self inside looking back. With my “eyes” focused inward, the sudden sensation of being pancaked as another slime dropped into Denya and directly on top of me came as a bit of a surprise. Reflexively, my body curled around the new slime, dragging it inside without a struggle. If I could “oof”, I’d be oofing. Let’s get out from the entrance hole, yeah?Wait. What? I can’t move?! . . . . . . Another plop, schmorck , and reflexive devouring and I was now a mother of three. Why is this happening??? Schmorckphtatatata WTF?! Slia had tackled another slime in midair. Slia was—we’ll go with digesting?—its slime much faster. Tch, guess this is the power of Greater Absorption. Schkmorckph. Ow ow ow ow! Slia, how are you absorbing so fast! The first slime I swallowed had almost been absorbed. It looked like frayed edges intermingling with me. Wait, how am I digesting it anyway? Is my entire body acid? No, that’s not it. I’m not digesting, I’m absorbing. I’m making it become me on a molecular level. My junk is attacking its junk and the larger junk wins—like a flash cell game!~ Greater Absorption [Passive] (Apprentice-Lv 15) unlocked ~Whoa, my knowledge of online games is actually going to be useful? Finally, a good cheat ability! Jump straight to level 15!The first slime I had attacked finally finished “going away" and I felt a slight boost to my abilities, but another schmorp ed its way inside before I could do anything. Dammit! I'm starting to feel thin again.Wait! I can move! Is this the power of apprentice level skills?! Quickly, I slimed my way away from the entrance. Another slime pancaked in right after I vacated the location. I watched as it reconstituted itself and began to explore the surroundings. Slia—apparently finished eating its snack—started following it around.Another slime pancaked its way in. This was getting absurd. Denya replied helpfully. I remarked wryly. Then continued, Examining the new slime, the words “Slib 2” overlaid my vision. Slib 2, really? As I spoke, the “Slib 2” melted into the word “Slic”. I refrained from commenting on the overlay switching to “Slick” after my command and instead focused on the fact that the slime did nothing different. Denya said apologetically. So it will listen to my commands if I could give it commands, but I cannot give it commands. GREAT. Denya’s response could be felt throughout the room. Sheesh, if she gets any more enthusiastic we’ll all get buried in a cave-in. Err, Denya-in. Both slimes stopped exploring their surroundings and moved over to the corner, rolling around in a tight circle. Slia stopped her pursuit of Slick and slimed her way back over to me to watch the progress of the other two. The tremors of Denya’s joy shook the cavern. All this from “Good job”?! *** Denya sent a questioning thought my way after watching the slimes circle each other for a few hours. That’s not how you use “sama”, you know! I stopped myself from directing the thought at Denya, but of course she heard it anyway. I mentally coughed to get rid of the pervert’s words, It was gradual, but over the course of the past few hours the slimes had sunk half their body size into the floor. This was sped up no doubt by the additional three slimes that had joined. Slimes naturally absorbed everything they came in contact with, including the terrain itself; slowly, but surely, the ground itself was giving way to the slimes. Of course, the slimes were also growing larger, so Slia and I casually munched on any slimes that seemed to have grown too large whenever a new one came. I was ignoring Slick, whether due to sentimentality or its own craftiness, Slick stayed the same size no matter how long it fed on Denya and the slime trails of its cohorts. It was probably just my imagination that it was hunching down as though to not be noticed.Ack! Tone down the enthusiasm! Are you trying to crush us! It’s no good making a hole if you fill it up with rocks! Denya didn’t have any answers. I waited a while longer until the slimes were starting to disappear from sight in the hole they were carving. I ordered Denya, Slick slimed its way over the edge of the first hell and upon noticing me scooted away at rapid speed. I’m seriously just imagining that though, right? Slimes don’t feel fear, right?!Peering over the edge of the abyss—err, one meter divot in the ground—I observed our prey. From an afternoon of tackling slimes, I knew that a tackle would just leave me absorbing another slime. Silence greeted my request. The tremor this time was barely felt by us, but a solid rock that was more a boulder than anything dropped with a certain self-satisfied aplomb, splatting the slime. Well, that was graphic. I oozed my way into the hole and extended my senses. The remains of the slime were just ooze. Homogenous slime that could not be distinguished. There are no magic cores in this world? Denya continued before I could even formulate a thought, Hey, this is pretty nice. As a slime, there was no way for me to explore the hole without getting all up in the muck, you know? It’s not because I was careless and didn’t realize I’d be oozing over the carcass of my prey. It’s not! Still, she has a point. <Get Slick and his crew back over here to absorb this boulder out of my new bathtub.>_____________________________ProtaLV: 1→3 (“How do you like me now! First, we feast, then we level UP!”)Physical:HP: 6→35
Str: 3→5
Spd: 1→2
Hea: 2→5
End: 5→6
Dex: 1→2
Agi: 0→1“After everything is said and done, only HP increased significantly, huh? I’m a little let down.”
“It is possible that you are a magic-type, my lord.”Mental:MP: 9→57
Mot: 5→9
Apt: 2→3 (“C’mon! This is the best stat and it only went up 1?!”)
Cre: 3→11 (“Whoa! There we go! Is this my cheat ability?”)
Log: 3→6
Cha: 5→9
Ego: 3→12 (“Let’s eat ALL of the slimes!” “Master, Slick and Slia are shivering in fear,”)New Skills and Rank Ups:Command Lv 0
Intimidation Lv 0
Leader (Passive) Lv 0
Dungeon Terrain Lv 0 → 5
Tackle Lv 4 → 9
Magic Tackle Lv 0 → 7
Greater Absorption (Passive) Lv 22 (“Knowledge of the other world is scary effective, isn’t it.”)“It seems like skills are way more important than any of my ability scores. And even the skill ranks have level ups—what kind of growth junky system is this world? What’s next, jobs?”
“. . .”
“Hmm? Denya? What’s with that reaction? Denya? Hey! Are you listening?”New Jobs:Interior Decorator Lv 0
Ruffian Lv 0
Slime Commander Lv 0
Monster Driver Lv 0
Monster Tamer Lv 0“. . . Master?”
“Just leave it. We’ll talk about this later.”New Subordinate:Slick (“Wait, how come Slick is listed as a subordinate and Slia is listed as a pet? Is this that? This is that, right? It’s bullying!”)New Achievements:Dungeon Hack (“I guess altering dungeons is NG?” “Master, I am yours to customize.”)
Slime Killer (“Even though it was Denya that killed it?” “I am merely your tool, my liege.”)“I don’t even want to bother with Slia and Slick right now, Denya, just show me your updates.”
“Yes, Great Master Prota-sama.”_____________________________Denya:Population: 2 → 8
MP: 576 575 → 576 525 (“Hmm, I wonder how much just the rock cost and how much the rest was because she’s unable to control her emotions?” “. . .” “Are you ignoring me?” “I am unsure what my honorable lord is referring to, so I had nothing more to add.”
Mana/Day: 10 (20)New Feature: Slime Hell (“Let’s send all the extra slimes here for now.”)New Feature: Slime Bath (“Can’t this just be called a regular bath?” “Does my Lord wish it to be filled with water then?” “. . . it’s fine as it is now, Denya.”)New Spell: Rock Crush “Oh, it manifested as an actual ability? Show me the MP cost!”
“That’s strange . . . I seem unable to display that information.”
“Really? It’s not actually super low is it. It’s not something like 5, right? It’s not, right? Denya? Oh my god it’s 5.”
“Spells cost a differing amount based on how they are manifested and manipulated when you . . .”
“Denya. It’s OK, just tell me.”
“It’s 5.”
“I FLIPPING KNEW IT!”
December 8, 2017
Dungeon Landlord 006
In Pursuit of the Ultimate Cheat, I Reluctantly Became a Dungeon (Land)Lord
6 - Master of SlimesIt came while I was sleeping. A little blue ball of yuck. Yes, exactly what you’re thinking: a slime.I say “little”, but in reality the thing was half my size. Now that I think about it, I’ve been going off the assumption that my body is the same size as my human body was. Of course, I don’t even remember how big I was as a human . . . or even what I looked like . . . or what sex I was. Anyway, I don’t want to think about that right now. Hark! There’s a wild slime!Well, I say wild, but it’s kinda’ docile. Right now it was just following me around Denya. I liked to imagine I was giving a tour, but I’m not quite sure how much the little guy understood. Of course, the fact that I wasn’t speaking probably didn’t help. Denya seemed to find this very cute though. Finally, I had enough.So do we have to do anything for this little guy? I asked Denya mentally.Surprisingly, Denya responded in the same manner, What do you mean, Prota-sama?Like food? Orders?Slimes don’t need to eat, Master. Ah, that explains why I haven’t gotten hungry yet, But they’ll instinctively move to try to absorb organic content. So he’ll attack any creature that comes in? Even if he’s not a match for it?He’s not an intelligent slime. He’ll also naturally move to feed on lichen and moss growing in my body.When you say it like that, it sounds gross, Denya. Well excuse me for providing nutrition for you, Master! The walls felt close and I couldn’t tell if she was pouting or angry.Um. I’m sure your lichen is delicious, Denya.It is!Right, so, this guy . . . The slime had been slowly circling me. He’s fine as is?Yes, my lord. He’ll slowly erode the walls and will develop the more he eats.He’ll develop the more he eats?Yes, slimes slowly take on the properties of their environment because their tissue is so malleable, but they also continue to grow with everything they digest. While we were speaking, another blue ball dropped through the ceiling. Sire, my inhabitants have increased by one.Sire?! Ah, yes, Denya. I see that.The other slime saw it as well. With an exaggerated leap, it scurried its way over to the newcomer, that was still resuming its natural spherical shape after being pancaked in its fall. Hmm. We may want to think about a staircase at some point.Yes, my lord.The two slimes were circling around each other. Are they going to attack? They seemed fairly similar to one another. In truth, I could no longer tell them apart. Denya could though, she overlaid their names with the creature for each slime on my HUD. She named them, “Slime A” and “Slime B”.Well, it’s good this girl has the ability to use spaces and at least 7 characters too. I was a little worried they were going to show up as SLIA and SLIB. Of course, as soon as those thoughts floated across my consciousness, Denya changed their names to Slia and Slib. Even though I hadn’t used the ability tackle, yet, I could somehow tell both slimes were gathering the physical energy needed to initiate it. Slib was just a little faster and rocketed across the space between them first. Slia rocketed out to meet Slib and the two collided. Instead of being rebuffed or shoved aside, they absorbed one another. The HUD displayed “Sliab(?)” over their congealed mass. That was unexpected.A popping sound could be heard and the two split apart. Slia scurried over to hide behind me and Slib started exploring Denya. “Slimes and oozes will naturally combine and split over their lifetimes. They have no ego and so long as a sufficient mass remains, they can continue to function.”No personality? Tell that to Slia. He’s practically shaking in fear.“What?” Master, I think Slia’s been feeding on your slime-trail as you gave him a tour of me.My slime-trail? Throwing my senses around, I realized that a trail of slime followed me wherever I went. So he’s already becoming more like an intelligent slime?Yes, Prota-sama. I do not recommend allowing other slimes to feed on you until you’ve grown stronger. No shit, really? Not like I knew he was feeding on me! My senses naturally settled on Slib as he rolled around. After failing to absorb Slia, Slib was acting like a normal slime. Slia and Slib are my thralls, right?“Yes, Master.” I guess it was difficult for Denya to speak telepathically, since she slipped into speech whenever it didn’t matter if the slimes heard. Aren’t we being too careful? They’re just slimes.Can I see Slib’s character sheet?Slib
Race: Slime
HP: 1I didn’t care about the rest. My own hit points had recovered while I slept, so I was now back up to 3. Slia similarly had 1 hit point. My guess for why they couldn’t combine was because they were equal in HP. If that’s the case. Not realizing I only needed to compress my body slightly to gather the physical energy for tackle, I ended up incorporating some of my MP as well. I flew across the room to impact Slib. He was completely enveloped in a moment and came to rest inside of me.I say rest, but I could feel him struggling. Also, it became a little harder to think.Was Denya saying something?Slia was rolling towards me. No! Bad dog! Stay! No jump! Bad!
ProtaHP: 3/3 → 1/5
MP: 7/7 → 8/8
Str: 2 → 3
Cre: 1 → 2
Ego: 1 → 1 (0)Abnormal Status: Self LossNew Skills: Magic TackleNew Pets: Slia (Slime)
Denya
Population: 1 → 2 (“Well, at least we managed to keep one of them.” -Denya)
Mana Growth: 1(6) → 1(7)
6 - Master of SlimesIt came while I was sleeping. A little blue ball of yuck. Yes, exactly what you’re thinking: a slime.I say “little”, but in reality the thing was half my size. Now that I think about it, I’ve been going off the assumption that my body is the same size as my human body was. Of course, I don’t even remember how big I was as a human . . . or even what I looked like . . . or what sex I was. Anyway, I don’t want to think about that right now. Hark! There’s a wild slime!Well, I say wild, but it’s kinda’ docile. Right now it was just following me around Denya. I liked to imagine I was giving a tour, but I’m not quite sure how much the little guy understood. Of course, the fact that I wasn’t speaking probably didn’t help. Denya seemed to find this very cute though. Finally, I had enough.So do we have to do anything for this little guy? I asked Denya mentally.Surprisingly, Denya responded in the same manner, What do you mean, Prota-sama?Like food? Orders?Slimes don’t need to eat, Master. Ah, that explains why I haven’t gotten hungry yet, But they’ll instinctively move to try to absorb organic content. So he’ll attack any creature that comes in? Even if he’s not a match for it?He’s not an intelligent slime. He’ll also naturally move to feed on lichen and moss growing in my body.When you say it like that, it sounds gross, Denya. Well excuse me for providing nutrition for you, Master! The walls felt close and I couldn’t tell if she was pouting or angry.Um. I’m sure your lichen is delicious, Denya.It is!Right, so, this guy . . . The slime had been slowly circling me. He’s fine as is?Yes, my lord. He’ll slowly erode the walls and will develop the more he eats.He’ll develop the more he eats?Yes, slimes slowly take on the properties of their environment because their tissue is so malleable, but they also continue to grow with everything they digest. While we were speaking, another blue ball dropped through the ceiling. Sire, my inhabitants have increased by one.Sire?! Ah, yes, Denya. I see that.The other slime saw it as well. With an exaggerated leap, it scurried its way over to the newcomer, that was still resuming its natural spherical shape after being pancaked in its fall. Hmm. We may want to think about a staircase at some point.Yes, my lord.The two slimes were circling around each other. Are they going to attack? They seemed fairly similar to one another. In truth, I could no longer tell them apart. Denya could though, she overlaid their names with the creature for each slime on my HUD. She named them, “Slime A” and “Slime B”.Well, it’s good this girl has the ability to use spaces and at least 7 characters too. I was a little worried they were going to show up as SLIA and SLIB. Of course, as soon as those thoughts floated across my consciousness, Denya changed their names to Slia and Slib. Even though I hadn’t used the ability tackle, yet, I could somehow tell both slimes were gathering the physical energy needed to initiate it. Slib was just a little faster and rocketed across the space between them first. Slia rocketed out to meet Slib and the two collided. Instead of being rebuffed or shoved aside, they absorbed one another. The HUD displayed “Sliab(?)” over their congealed mass. That was unexpected.A popping sound could be heard and the two split apart. Slia scurried over to hide behind me and Slib started exploring Denya. “Slimes and oozes will naturally combine and split over their lifetimes. They have no ego and so long as a sufficient mass remains, they can continue to function.”No personality? Tell that to Slia. He’s practically shaking in fear.“What?” Master, I think Slia’s been feeding on your slime-trail as you gave him a tour of me.My slime-trail? Throwing my senses around, I realized that a trail of slime followed me wherever I went. So he’s already becoming more like an intelligent slime?Yes, Prota-sama. I do not recommend allowing other slimes to feed on you until you’ve grown stronger. No shit, really? Not like I knew he was feeding on me! My senses naturally settled on Slib as he rolled around. After failing to absorb Slia, Slib was acting like a normal slime. Slia and Slib are my thralls, right?“Yes, Master.” I guess it was difficult for Denya to speak telepathically, since she slipped into speech whenever it didn’t matter if the slimes heard. Aren’t we being too careful? They’re just slimes.Can I see Slib’s character sheet?Slib
Race: Slime
HP: 1I didn’t care about the rest. My own hit points had recovered while I slept, so I was now back up to 3. Slia similarly had 1 hit point. My guess for why they couldn’t combine was because they were equal in HP. If that’s the case. Not realizing I only needed to compress my body slightly to gather the physical energy for tackle, I ended up incorporating some of my MP as well. I flew across the room to impact Slib. He was completely enveloped in a moment and came to rest inside of me.I say rest, but I could feel him struggling. Also, it became a little harder to think.Was Denya saying something?Slia was rolling towards me. No! Bad dog! Stay! No jump! Bad!
ProtaHP: 3/3 → 1/5
MP: 7/7 → 8/8
Str: 2 → 3
Cre: 1 → 2
Ego: 1 → 1 (0)Abnormal Status: Self LossNew Skills: Magic TackleNew Pets: Slia (Slime)
Denya
Population: 1 → 2 (“Well, at least we managed to keep one of them.” -Denya)
Mana Growth: 1(6) → 1(7)
December 1, 2017
Dungeon Landlord 005
In Pursuit of the Ultimate Cheat, I Reluctantly Became a Dungeon (Land)Lord
5 - Den of Slime(s)So about growth.“Yes, Master?”I’d like to level up.“I’d like that as well, Master.”Wait, you mean you? Or me?“Both would be agreeable, Master.”Ah, I see. So how do I do that?“I am unsure how you would increase in power. From the information I have available, it seems that monsters can improve through training and feeding. As dungeon lord, you would also gain a sympathetic effect when I increase in power.”And you?“I can increase in power through the expenditure of mana and other resources, and I also increase in power through the power of my inhabitants.”Like how you’re gaining more mana now that I’m here.“As you say, Master.”You know, you really do not need to call me Master. It’s perfectly fine to call me by name.“Master, your surface thoughts are confusing me. What does thirsty mean in this sense? I’m not sure how that is associated with arousal.”I’m not being thirsty! That’s just an anime meme!“Very well. I shall henceforth call you Prota-sama.”Sama? Because of the anime thing? Are you making fun of me? Doesn’t she have to answer when I ask her something? What’s going on here?“We are having a discussion about names, Prota-sama. It developed from our discussion about increasing in power.”Don’t just pick and choose what to respond to!The sense of the walls shaking filled my slime body. Doesn’t it cost mana to make the walls shake like that just because you’re laughing?“You are mistaken, Prota-sama. I am not moving. You are sensing changes in my presence, which would feel to an inhabitant of me as though I am shaking.”Ah. So when I called you old before . . . The walls shook and I could clearly feel rubble fall from the ceiling. One stone in particular fell onto me and was absorbed into my body so I am quite clear on that. Denya?“Yes, Master?”The walls weren’t shaking just now?“As I explained before, Master, it is merely changes in my presence.”What about the rubble that fell down?“Ah? Master doesn’t have eyes, so I am not sure what you are speaking about.”Display the total mana please.“. . .”Denya?“I’d rather not.”And why is that?“Oh, what’s this? It appears there was an earthquake just now.”. . . “You believe me, right, Master?”. . . “Master?”I thought I told you to call me Prota?“!”This time, her presence actually did change and the walls stayed still. I guess it took some practice to be able to tell the difference. But still, a dungeon that wastes mana when she gets too emotional. What kind of handicap is this? Guess I’m still a little salty from not being born as a shapeshifted dragon.“Prota-sama, is the reason why you are thirsty because you are salty?”Enough with the comedy routine for now, babe. Let’s start growing.“Very well, Prota-sama. What path would you like to pursue?”I have these abilities: creature creation and dungeon terrain. I haven’t been able to do anything with them so far—in truth, even though they showed up on my character sheet, they were grayed out—I’m assuming they have something to do with you?“Yes, Master! Those are special abilities accessible only to a dungeon lord. You can use them through my interface.”So let’s expand this room then. That will give you more mana absorption, right?“It will, Prota-sama. However it will also make it more likely that I will be invaded and you will come under attack.”Well, that’s not good. Looking at a part of my character sheet I never paid attention to before, I was pretty disgusted with the results.HP: 2
MP: 1At this rate, I’ll die just from Denya shaking the walls. OK, so that’s NG. What about creature creation?“Creating creatures is a great idea!” Denya seemed pretty enthusiastic about this. Her dungeon stat pages popped up on my HUD and rapidly cycled to the pages on creatures. “Currently, we have access to the Avatar and Intelligent Slime templates.”Knowing what an intelligent slime was (me), I asked, Avatar?“This would be a physical body that would incarnate a part of my soul, built to your specifications.”Ah, OK. WAIT, YOU CAN BECOME A REAL GIRL?!“I can be any gender you like, Master. You’d have complete control over my specifications during the creation. Of course, I would still exist separately from my avatar and run the dungeon for you.”That’s amazing! Let’s do that!“Very well, Master! You seem very excited about this for some reason. First, we need to gather the mana and expend it to make the egg.”Great! Oh, before I forget, how much mana will this take?“Hmm. At my current efficiency, I can create an avatar with only 500 000 units of mana. Shall I proceed?”. . . “Master?”Cancel the avatar creation, babe.“Prota-sama?”It’s just too expensive.“Really? I’d still have a surplus of 67 000 units of mana for daily operation. As long as my mana stays above 10 000, there should be no impact on my existence.”If I had a throat, I would have gulped at that. Denya requires 10 000 MP to stay alive? The slow growth rate was all I was concerned about. How would your mana growth change with an avatar inhabiting?“As an avatar, there would be no change initially. Depending on their actions and growth, it may negatively or positively affect mana growth.”Yeah, that’s definitely NG. Not until we have your MP stabilized. I try to never make units that I can’t immediately recoup the cost of. “You have experience managing a dungeon, Prota-sama?”Hey now, there’s no need to get jealous of computer games, Denya! Don’t start shaking the walls! There’s no need to worry, Denya. It was a simulation. The sense of foreboding that made it feel like the ceiling was coming down on me fled as Denya grasped the meaning behind the word simulation. “What a well-prepared master.”Anyway, how much to make an intelligent slime? I asked at the same time as I manipulated the page myself to look. “That is unfortunately beyond our capabilities.”A million? Why so much? Intelligent slimes are super weak if they’re anything like me.“Apparently, the template we have is corrupted.”Um?“Yes, your species is probably not an intelligent slime.”My own character sheet popped up, now with a question mark next to my assumed race. So this is the bad end? Have next to no magic reserves and get wiped out with the possible growth of your avatar or expand the dungeon and increase the likelihood of invaders.“There is another option, Prota-sama.”Lost in my own misery, it took Denya a few times to get through. Huh?“We could perform a summoning.”A summoning? Are we going to call a hero?“Heavens no! A hero?! That would be our natural enemy!”Heavens no? I remarked wryly. What sort of dungeon says ‘heavens no’?“This sort!” Denya retorted with a huff. Needless to say, a dungeon’s huff involves the ground shaking. So what did you mean by a summoning? I changed subjects forcibly.“Now that I have a lord, we can release a signal that would attract creatures weaker than you to come and become your thralls.”Oh? This is great! I thought about her words for a few moments more. Wait a second. There’s a problem.“What’s that, my lord?”Now it’s ‘my lord’? Ahem, Yes, I just cleared my nonexistent throat in my thoughts, is there a problem? The bit about monsters weaker than me.“Oh. My lord is very weak.”Hey!“But I am sure there must be weaker monsters. After all, you’re a dungeon lord!”Ah well, I’m not so sure. But depending on the cost of trying . . . “To broadcast a signal to areas in immediate proximity to us would take 5 units of mana.”Whoa, that’s super cheap. Can be recouped in a single day even.“If I may, my lord. My suggestion is to boost the signal and broadcast it for 5 days. With the increased area and duration, surely there is a monster weaker than you!”I mentally sighed. Is this some sort of punishment game? What would be the cost of doing so?“Around 500 units of mana.”That much? How weak do you think I am?“The cost increases exponentially with the distance from my center, my lord Prota-sama.”Lord AND sama now? But she’s right. If we can get some monsters inhabiting, even if they only increase her mana growth as much as I am, we would make it back in a couple of months. And more importantly, it gives us options. Very well. Make it so.“Master, please stand at my center and make your call.”Hmm? I have to do it? Where’s your center?“Um, it’s where you are right now, Master.”Then why did you give me that extra instruction?“Well, if you want to make a call in the future, my center may change locations and I didn’t want you to think you could do it from anywhere within me. You have to be at my center—”Enough with the ero game stuff, Denya. What do I do now?“Ask for creatures to come join your service, Master. I will pick up your call and use my mana to broadcast it and repeat it.”Wait, do I have to do it out loud?“Yes Master. That is a requirement.”I’m going to leave all my fluids over your center if you make me say it.“Ooo, Master!”I’m totally being teased right now. She’s already mastered sarcasm to this level? I mean, I was teasing her, too. Ugh, this is so gross. OK, OK, I can do this! “Come work for me. I’m the dungeon lord, Prota.”A great fatigue came over me after I finished speaking. Enough of my innards lay around me from the forced expulsion that my consciousness grew faint.
Prota Lv. 1 (“Am I finally strong enough to merit a level? Ooo, lots of level-ups! Almost worth being sick all over! At least this isn’t a slow growth game.”)
Race: Intelligent Slime → Intelligent Slime (?)
HP: 2 / 2 → 1 / 3
MP: 1 / 1 → 0 / 7 (“MP went up that much? Is it a racial trait?”)
End: 1 → 3 (“I certainly feel like I ran a marathon.”)
Cha: 3 → 5 (“Talking to a girl does wonders for your interpersonal skills, eh? Let’s keep flirting with Denya!”)
Log: 2 → 3
Mot: 2 → 5 (“I think I’m pretty motivated already. I mean, I really don’t want to die again, you know?”)
Apt: 1 → 2 (“Ugh, this stat would be by #1 if I could control it. A learning bonus that applies to every skill and stat? Isn’t that a cheat stat?)Abnormal Status: Mind DownNew AchievementsInside Out - Turned inside out (“The hyperbole of this game and everyone in it is incredible”)
Classifieds - Posted a job notice (“How many of these bronze achievements am I going to get? What’s next? An achievement for waking up? One for breathing?”)
Channeler - Channeled over 100 MP (“Oh, I guess I acted as the relay for Denya’s magic? Is that why my MP went up so much?)
Denya Lv. 1 (“Oh, we’re doing Denya now too?”)
Mana: 577 098 → 576 575 (“She used that much mana on shaking the walls? Such an irresponsible kid!” “You are mistaken, Master. My mana was lowered by the completely natural and authentic earthquake we were mysteriously struck by earlier today.”)
Mana/Day: 1/(5) → 1/(6)New Abilities:
Earthshake (“Kinda’ hard to deny it now, Denya!” “I do not know what you are speaking about, my lord and master, Prota-sama.”)New Spells: Slime Summon (“So after all that we just summoned some slimes?” “This is a modification of the general call spell now that we have slimes inhabiting my body.” “You mean besides me?” “Yes, Master. They came while you were sleeping.” “Why didn’t you tell me?” “You were sleeping.”)
Create Slime (“Let me guess, it’s 100 000 MP.” “No, but for something that’s just a slime, it’s pretty expensive: 100 units of mana.”)
5 - Den of Slime(s)So about growth.“Yes, Master?”I’d like to level up.“I’d like that as well, Master.”Wait, you mean you? Or me?“Both would be agreeable, Master.”Ah, I see. So how do I do that?“I am unsure how you would increase in power. From the information I have available, it seems that monsters can improve through training and feeding. As dungeon lord, you would also gain a sympathetic effect when I increase in power.”And you?“I can increase in power through the expenditure of mana and other resources, and I also increase in power through the power of my inhabitants.”Like how you’re gaining more mana now that I’m here.“As you say, Master.”You know, you really do not need to call me Master. It’s perfectly fine to call me by name.“Master, your surface thoughts are confusing me. What does thirsty mean in this sense? I’m not sure how that is associated with arousal.”I’m not being thirsty! That’s just an anime meme!“Very well. I shall henceforth call you Prota-sama.”Sama? Because of the anime thing? Are you making fun of me? Doesn’t she have to answer when I ask her something? What’s going on here?“We are having a discussion about names, Prota-sama. It developed from our discussion about increasing in power.”Don’t just pick and choose what to respond to!The sense of the walls shaking filled my slime body. Doesn’t it cost mana to make the walls shake like that just because you’re laughing?“You are mistaken, Prota-sama. I am not moving. You are sensing changes in my presence, which would feel to an inhabitant of me as though I am shaking.”Ah. So when I called you old before . . . The walls shook and I could clearly feel rubble fall from the ceiling. One stone in particular fell onto me and was absorbed into my body so I am quite clear on that. Denya?“Yes, Master?”The walls weren’t shaking just now?“As I explained before, Master, it is merely changes in my presence.”What about the rubble that fell down?“Ah? Master doesn’t have eyes, so I am not sure what you are speaking about.”Display the total mana please.“. . .”Denya?“I’d rather not.”And why is that?“Oh, what’s this? It appears there was an earthquake just now.”. . . “You believe me, right, Master?”. . . “Master?”I thought I told you to call me Prota?“!”This time, her presence actually did change and the walls stayed still. I guess it took some practice to be able to tell the difference. But still, a dungeon that wastes mana when she gets too emotional. What kind of handicap is this? Guess I’m still a little salty from not being born as a shapeshifted dragon.“Prota-sama, is the reason why you are thirsty because you are salty?”Enough with the comedy routine for now, babe. Let’s start growing.“Very well, Prota-sama. What path would you like to pursue?”I have these abilities: creature creation and dungeon terrain. I haven’t been able to do anything with them so far—in truth, even though they showed up on my character sheet, they were grayed out—I’m assuming they have something to do with you?“Yes, Master! Those are special abilities accessible only to a dungeon lord. You can use them through my interface.”So let’s expand this room then. That will give you more mana absorption, right?“It will, Prota-sama. However it will also make it more likely that I will be invaded and you will come under attack.”Well, that’s not good. Looking at a part of my character sheet I never paid attention to before, I was pretty disgusted with the results.HP: 2
MP: 1At this rate, I’ll die just from Denya shaking the walls. OK, so that’s NG. What about creature creation?“Creating creatures is a great idea!” Denya seemed pretty enthusiastic about this. Her dungeon stat pages popped up on my HUD and rapidly cycled to the pages on creatures. “Currently, we have access to the Avatar and Intelligent Slime templates.”Knowing what an intelligent slime was (me), I asked, Avatar?“This would be a physical body that would incarnate a part of my soul, built to your specifications.”Ah, OK. WAIT, YOU CAN BECOME A REAL GIRL?!“I can be any gender you like, Master. You’d have complete control over my specifications during the creation. Of course, I would still exist separately from my avatar and run the dungeon for you.”That’s amazing! Let’s do that!“Very well, Master! You seem very excited about this for some reason. First, we need to gather the mana and expend it to make the egg.”Great! Oh, before I forget, how much mana will this take?“Hmm. At my current efficiency, I can create an avatar with only 500 000 units of mana. Shall I proceed?”. . . “Master?”Cancel the avatar creation, babe.“Prota-sama?”It’s just too expensive.“Really? I’d still have a surplus of 67 000 units of mana for daily operation. As long as my mana stays above 10 000, there should be no impact on my existence.”If I had a throat, I would have gulped at that. Denya requires 10 000 MP to stay alive? The slow growth rate was all I was concerned about. How would your mana growth change with an avatar inhabiting?“As an avatar, there would be no change initially. Depending on their actions and growth, it may negatively or positively affect mana growth.”Yeah, that’s definitely NG. Not until we have your MP stabilized. I try to never make units that I can’t immediately recoup the cost of. “You have experience managing a dungeon, Prota-sama?”Hey now, there’s no need to get jealous of computer games, Denya! Don’t start shaking the walls! There’s no need to worry, Denya. It was a simulation. The sense of foreboding that made it feel like the ceiling was coming down on me fled as Denya grasped the meaning behind the word simulation. “What a well-prepared master.”Anyway, how much to make an intelligent slime? I asked at the same time as I manipulated the page myself to look. “That is unfortunately beyond our capabilities.”A million? Why so much? Intelligent slimes are super weak if they’re anything like me.“Apparently, the template we have is corrupted.”Um?“Yes, your species is probably not an intelligent slime.”My own character sheet popped up, now with a question mark next to my assumed race. So this is the bad end? Have next to no magic reserves and get wiped out with the possible growth of your avatar or expand the dungeon and increase the likelihood of invaders.“There is another option, Prota-sama.”Lost in my own misery, it took Denya a few times to get through. Huh?“We could perform a summoning.”A summoning? Are we going to call a hero?“Heavens no! A hero?! That would be our natural enemy!”Heavens no? I remarked wryly. What sort of dungeon says ‘heavens no’?“This sort!” Denya retorted with a huff. Needless to say, a dungeon’s huff involves the ground shaking. So what did you mean by a summoning? I changed subjects forcibly.“Now that I have a lord, we can release a signal that would attract creatures weaker than you to come and become your thralls.”Oh? This is great! I thought about her words for a few moments more. Wait a second. There’s a problem.“What’s that, my lord?”Now it’s ‘my lord’? Ahem, Yes, I just cleared my nonexistent throat in my thoughts, is there a problem? The bit about monsters weaker than me.“Oh. My lord is very weak.”Hey!“But I am sure there must be weaker monsters. After all, you’re a dungeon lord!”Ah well, I’m not so sure. But depending on the cost of trying . . . “To broadcast a signal to areas in immediate proximity to us would take 5 units of mana.”Whoa, that’s super cheap. Can be recouped in a single day even.“If I may, my lord. My suggestion is to boost the signal and broadcast it for 5 days. With the increased area and duration, surely there is a monster weaker than you!”I mentally sighed. Is this some sort of punishment game? What would be the cost of doing so?“Around 500 units of mana.”That much? How weak do you think I am?“The cost increases exponentially with the distance from my center, my lord Prota-sama.”Lord AND sama now? But she’s right. If we can get some monsters inhabiting, even if they only increase her mana growth as much as I am, we would make it back in a couple of months. And more importantly, it gives us options. Very well. Make it so.“Master, please stand at my center and make your call.”Hmm? I have to do it? Where’s your center?“Um, it’s where you are right now, Master.”Then why did you give me that extra instruction?“Well, if you want to make a call in the future, my center may change locations and I didn’t want you to think you could do it from anywhere within me. You have to be at my center—”Enough with the ero game stuff, Denya. What do I do now?“Ask for creatures to come join your service, Master. I will pick up your call and use my mana to broadcast it and repeat it.”Wait, do I have to do it out loud?“Yes Master. That is a requirement.”I’m going to leave all my fluids over your center if you make me say it.“Ooo, Master!”I’m totally being teased right now. She’s already mastered sarcasm to this level? I mean, I was teasing her, too. Ugh, this is so gross. OK, OK, I can do this! “Come work for me. I’m the dungeon lord, Prota.”A great fatigue came over me after I finished speaking. Enough of my innards lay around me from the forced expulsion that my consciousness grew faint.
Prota Lv. 1 (“Am I finally strong enough to merit a level? Ooo, lots of level-ups! Almost worth being sick all over! At least this isn’t a slow growth game.”)
Race: Intelligent Slime → Intelligent Slime (?)
HP: 2 / 2 → 1 / 3
MP: 1 / 1 → 0 / 7 (“MP went up that much? Is it a racial trait?”)
End: 1 → 3 (“I certainly feel like I ran a marathon.”)
Cha: 3 → 5 (“Talking to a girl does wonders for your interpersonal skills, eh? Let’s keep flirting with Denya!”)
Log: 2 → 3
Mot: 2 → 5 (“I think I’m pretty motivated already. I mean, I really don’t want to die again, you know?”)
Apt: 1 → 2 (“Ugh, this stat would be by #1 if I could control it. A learning bonus that applies to every skill and stat? Isn’t that a cheat stat?)Abnormal Status: Mind DownNew AchievementsInside Out - Turned inside out (“The hyperbole of this game and everyone in it is incredible”)
Classifieds - Posted a job notice (“How many of these bronze achievements am I going to get? What’s next? An achievement for waking up? One for breathing?”)
Channeler - Channeled over 100 MP (“Oh, I guess I acted as the relay for Denya’s magic? Is that why my MP went up so much?)
Denya Lv. 1 (“Oh, we’re doing Denya now too?”)
Mana: 577 098 → 576 575 (“She used that much mana on shaking the walls? Such an irresponsible kid!” “You are mistaken, Master. My mana was lowered by the completely natural and authentic earthquake we were mysteriously struck by earlier today.”)
Mana/Day: 1/(5) → 1/(6)New Abilities:
Earthshake (“Kinda’ hard to deny it now, Denya!” “I do not know what you are speaking about, my lord and master, Prota-sama.”)New Spells: Slime Summon (“So after all that we just summoned some slimes?” “This is a modification of the general call spell now that we have slimes inhabiting my body.” “You mean besides me?” “Yes, Master. They came while you were sleeping.” “Why didn’t you tell me?” “You were sleeping.”)
Create Slime (“Let me guess, it’s 100 000 MP.” “No, but for something that’s just a slime, it’s pretty expensive: 100 units of mana.”)
November 24, 2017
Dungeon Landlord 004
In Pursuit of the Ultimate Cheat, I Reluctantly Became a Dungeon (Land)Lord
4 - Dungeon“Greetings, Master.”The voice called out to me from all around. Literally, the walls were speaking.Um, hello? Without my righteous indignation from before, no slime was expelled from my body and my “voice” didn’t manifest. “Directing your thoughts while within me is sufficient.”Whoa. Somehow I got the feeling I was speaking with a robot. Is this the Matrix?“I am your dungeon.”Wait, I didn’t direct that thought at her, but she answered anyway. And yeah, she sounds like a girl, so we’re going with she’s a girl.“Similarly to your present situation, I do not have a gender. Your thoughts are sufficiently loud enough now that we have entered dialogue so that I can respond to those floating on the surface.”. . . . . . . . . “Master, please do not be petulant. I have much to share with you.”. . . “Master.”Fine. What’s the 411?“Since you are speaking telepathically, I must note that the meaning of your words will be transmitted even if you try to obfuscate them by using unfamiliar slang. Furthermore, the intention to be sarcastic will also be transmitted.”That’s totally unfair.“Indeed. May I share my status with you?”Make it so.“I understand this is a reference of some nature, but do not sense any malice behind it.” With her words, screens started popping up in front of me filled with information. I say they’re in front of me, but quickly sliming towards them caused them to retreat, and sliming in a circle had them rotate in front of my vision. A heads up display.“That is an appropriate conclusion, Master.”Alright, let’s see what we have here. Dungeon: Den of Slime
Location: UnknownHaa? How do you not know where you are? And den? Isn’t that a little pompous? This is just a hole, isn’t it? Before she could respond, the name had already changed to Hole of Slime on my HUD. Wait, wait, wait, Den of Slime is fine. Hole of Slime sounds like an eroge. The HUD display flashed back to Den of Slime and the voice sounded a little relieved when she could finally answer, “I am unable to see outside of myself. I have existed as this . . . den, for a significant period of time without a master.”Hey now! Who’s being petulant now? There was no need to hesitate before calling yourself a den just now, was there? Thinking for a moment, How long is a “significant period of time”?“Early state information is unaccessible. After sufficient mana had accumulated, I became. Since that point, an additional 182,625 days have passed.”Holy . . . Waitaminute! Dungeon, how can you tell how many days have passed without being able to see outside?“Please direct your attention to the resource collection page, Master.”Ugh, why does she sound like an accountant now? That’s not one of my kinks . . . is it? Resource collection was mostly empty, but there was one category that was active: mana. Both mana total and mana per day had numbers.Mana: 577 098
Mana/Day: 1 (5)Ah. So you just counted based on that category without understanding the unit of measurement.“As you say, Master. If we assume mana has increased at a constant rate throughout, then this Den has stood for 577,098 days.”Huh? But it says five per day, doesn’t it? That’s nowhere near even your known age then.“That is only the amount of mana I gather when inhabited by my lord.”You mean me.“Yes, Master. When you are inside me, mana collects much more rapidly. It is quite pleasant.”Hey, enough with the eroge stuff already. “Forgive me, Master. I lost myself thinking about you being inside me.”. . . So you can joke too? What kind of AI are you? You’re not going to go HAL on me, are you?“What is joke? Your AI word has complex meanings being transmitted. In the sense that I do not possess a body, I am artificial, but I am not a false entity. I exist.”Wow. Really? You’re so stiff though.“Now who sounds like an eroge? This is my first conversation, Master. Please forgive my inadequacies as a conversation partner. I will study and practice.”Don’t pay it any mind, babe. Back to my HAL question…“You are what I have wished for my entire life. I will not betray you." Thankfully, I can’t blush or stammer since I’m, you know, a slime. Casting about in my thoughts for a topic change, the best I could do was, So you can do arithmetic, right? What’s 577,098 divided by 365?“1,581, Master.”That’s assuming this world uses our calendar of course. Damn, she’s old.“!!!” Somehow even without a physical body, I could tell my dungeon was shocked by my words. She didn’t just make the walls shake because I called her old, did she?Changing the subject tactfully, So what should I call you, Dungeon?“I am the Den of Slime.”“And I’m the slime in that, right? So you’re the Den. Den. Den. How about Denya?”Taking the shaking walls as her assent, “OK, Denya, let’s move on to the next point of order.”
Cha: 1 → 3 (“It says charisma, but the description is more like interpersonal interaction, huh? So talking to Denya gave me that sort of boost?”)
Log: 1 → 2 (“Yay, math!, I guess? Talking to my wannabe accountant dungeon will give me more points in logic. Got it.”)Age: 30 min → 1 hour (“Oh come on. That’s pointless. Can’t we at least change it to months for now?”). . . Age: 1 hour → 0 months (“Um. Thank you?”)
New Subordinate: Denya (Den of Slime) (“She seems like the earnest big sister type. I’m looking forward to teasing her.”)
4 - Dungeon“Greetings, Master.”The voice called out to me from all around. Literally, the walls were speaking.Um, hello? Without my righteous indignation from before, no slime was expelled from my body and my “voice” didn’t manifest. “Directing your thoughts while within me is sufficient.”Whoa. Somehow I got the feeling I was speaking with a robot. Is this the Matrix?“I am your dungeon.”Wait, I didn’t direct that thought at her, but she answered anyway. And yeah, she sounds like a girl, so we’re going with she’s a girl.“Similarly to your present situation, I do not have a gender. Your thoughts are sufficiently loud enough now that we have entered dialogue so that I can respond to those floating on the surface.”. . . . . . . . . “Master, please do not be petulant. I have much to share with you.”. . . “Master.”Fine. What’s the 411?“Since you are speaking telepathically, I must note that the meaning of your words will be transmitted even if you try to obfuscate them by using unfamiliar slang. Furthermore, the intention to be sarcastic will also be transmitted.”That’s totally unfair.“Indeed. May I share my status with you?”Make it so.“I understand this is a reference of some nature, but do not sense any malice behind it.” With her words, screens started popping up in front of me filled with information. I say they’re in front of me, but quickly sliming towards them caused them to retreat, and sliming in a circle had them rotate in front of my vision. A heads up display.“That is an appropriate conclusion, Master.”Alright, let’s see what we have here. Dungeon: Den of Slime
Location: UnknownHaa? How do you not know where you are? And den? Isn’t that a little pompous? This is just a hole, isn’t it? Before she could respond, the name had already changed to Hole of Slime on my HUD. Wait, wait, wait, Den of Slime is fine. Hole of Slime sounds like an eroge. The HUD display flashed back to Den of Slime and the voice sounded a little relieved when she could finally answer, “I am unable to see outside of myself. I have existed as this . . . den, for a significant period of time without a master.”Hey now! Who’s being petulant now? There was no need to hesitate before calling yourself a den just now, was there? Thinking for a moment, How long is a “significant period of time”?“Early state information is unaccessible. After sufficient mana had accumulated, I became. Since that point, an additional 182,625 days have passed.”Holy . . . Waitaminute! Dungeon, how can you tell how many days have passed without being able to see outside?“Please direct your attention to the resource collection page, Master.”Ugh, why does she sound like an accountant now? That’s not one of my kinks . . . is it? Resource collection was mostly empty, but there was one category that was active: mana. Both mana total and mana per day had numbers.Mana: 577 098
Mana/Day: 1 (5)Ah. So you just counted based on that category without understanding the unit of measurement.“As you say, Master. If we assume mana has increased at a constant rate throughout, then this Den has stood for 577,098 days.”Huh? But it says five per day, doesn’t it? That’s nowhere near even your known age then.“That is only the amount of mana I gather when inhabited by my lord.”You mean me.“Yes, Master. When you are inside me, mana collects much more rapidly. It is quite pleasant.”Hey, enough with the eroge stuff already. “Forgive me, Master. I lost myself thinking about you being inside me.”. . . So you can joke too? What kind of AI are you? You’re not going to go HAL on me, are you?“What is joke? Your AI word has complex meanings being transmitted. In the sense that I do not possess a body, I am artificial, but I am not a false entity. I exist.”Wow. Really? You’re so stiff though.“Now who sounds like an eroge? This is my first conversation, Master. Please forgive my inadequacies as a conversation partner. I will study and practice.”Don’t pay it any mind, babe. Back to my HAL question…“You are what I have wished for my entire life. I will not betray you." Thankfully, I can’t blush or stammer since I’m, you know, a slime. Casting about in my thoughts for a topic change, the best I could do was, So you can do arithmetic, right? What’s 577,098 divided by 365?“1,581, Master.”That’s assuming this world uses our calendar of course. Damn, she’s old.“!!!” Somehow even without a physical body, I could tell my dungeon was shocked by my words. She didn’t just make the walls shake because I called her old, did she?Changing the subject tactfully, So what should I call you, Dungeon?“I am the Den of Slime.”“And I’m the slime in that, right? So you’re the Den. Den. Den. How about Denya?”Taking the shaking walls as her assent, “OK, Denya, let’s move on to the next point of order.”
Cha: 1 → 3 (“It says charisma, but the description is more like interpersonal interaction, huh? So talking to Denya gave me that sort of boost?”)
Log: 1 → 2 (“Yay, math!, I guess? Talking to my wannabe accountant dungeon will give me more points in logic. Got it.”)Age: 30 min → 1 hour (“Oh come on. That’s pointless. Can’t we at least change it to months for now?”). . . Age: 1 hour → 0 months (“Um. Thank you?”)
New Subordinate: Denya (Den of Slime) (“She seems like the earnest big sister type. I’m looking forward to teasing her.”)
November 17, 2017
Dungeon Landlord 003
In Pursuit of the Ultimate Cheat, I Reluctantly Became a Dungeon (Land)Lord
3 - Know ThyselfCalm down. Calm down. Calm. Calm. CALM THE FUCK DOWN!!!!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOK. Let’s recap.I’m in a foreign world. I’m a slime.With crap stats. I said it in the way that it’s obvious it would have been OK to reincarnate as a slime if only my stats weren’t nonsense. This is way too unfair though. I mean, as a slime, I can’t even be expected to be able to use tools. Hell, I don’t even have hands!I tried to focus on the sensation of rolling around the ground. How exactly am I moving? I will it and my body starts rolling. I don’t think I have eyes, but I can see everything around . . . well, I can see EVERYTHING around me. I may not have eyes in the back of my head but I can definitely “see” out of the back of my head. If I focus, I can even get a sense of the inside of my body . . . pretty barren at the moment. Acquiring some sense of my own body, I use my will to push part of what I’ll refer to as my stomach out and away. SUCCESS! A tenuous pseudopod extended out. Willing another pseudopod out from what I’ll refer to as my back and YES! I now have arms.Well, pseudo-arms.. . . Hands are still beyond me.And.For some reason.My consciousness feels kinda’ thin. Right now. A strange sensation that I might once have described as panic is welling up inside. Slap! My two pseudopodious arms smack back into my back and stomach and are reabsorbed.At once, my higher cognitive processes kickstart.Ugh, I think I was pretty close to going from “intelligent slime” to just “slime”. So let’s keep the pseudobody experiment on the backburner. Speaking of backburner. Food would be great.Do slimes even need to eat? I mean, what exactly am I made out of? Is it some sort of fat? Jelly? Am I actually a flan and that’s not just a bad joke? Is my body LCL? Liquefied organs? I don’t really have a sense of light. Looking around, I appear to be in a cave.Well, maybe cave is too grandiose. I’m in a hole. It’s about ten meters square. Err, um round.Well, cavey round, you know? The widest part is about ten meters. There aren’t any particular rock formations. From the center of the hole, I can “look” up and see a passageway to hell-if-I-know-where. That’s it. “I’M SUPPOSED TO BE LORD OF A DUNGEON AND INSTEAD I’M LORD OF A HOLE?! THAT DAMN GENIE COULDN’T EVEN GET THAT PART, RIGHT?!”Whoa, I was so pissed off my thoughts literally spit out of me. The force of the slime churning inside of me formed enough sound for a voice to get out. Yuck, that was gross. Let’s shuffle, err, slime away from that mess . . . “Greetings, Master.”If I had eyes, they’d be pretty wide-open right now.
Name: ProtaPlayer: UnknownRace: Intelligent slimeGender: NeutralAge: 30 minutes
Str: 1→2Mot: 2Spd: 1Apt: 1Hea: 1Cre: 1End: 1Log: 1Dex: 1Cha: 1Agi: 0Ego: 0→1
Abilities: Creature Creation; Dungeon Terrain; Tackle; Pseudopod(“Not like I can really use pseudopod effectively though”)New Achievements: Last Second Save - Narrowly avoided a self-inflicted lobotomy. (“How close was it?!”)
Vomit Out Words - Manifested a voice through churning liquids. (“Now I get an achievement for throwing up? Please don’t remind me!”)
3 - Know ThyselfCalm down. Calm down. Calm. Calm. CALM THE FUCK DOWN!!!!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOK. Let’s recap.I’m in a foreign world. I’m a slime.With crap stats. I said it in the way that it’s obvious it would have been OK to reincarnate as a slime if only my stats weren’t nonsense. This is way too unfair though. I mean, as a slime, I can’t even be expected to be able to use tools. Hell, I don’t even have hands!I tried to focus on the sensation of rolling around the ground. How exactly am I moving? I will it and my body starts rolling. I don’t think I have eyes, but I can see everything around . . . well, I can see EVERYTHING around me. I may not have eyes in the back of my head but I can definitely “see” out of the back of my head. If I focus, I can even get a sense of the inside of my body . . . pretty barren at the moment. Acquiring some sense of my own body, I use my will to push part of what I’ll refer to as my stomach out and away. SUCCESS! A tenuous pseudopod extended out. Willing another pseudopod out from what I’ll refer to as my back and YES! I now have arms.Well, pseudo-arms.. . . Hands are still beyond me.And.For some reason.My consciousness feels kinda’ thin. Right now. A strange sensation that I might once have described as panic is welling up inside. Slap! My two pseudopodious arms smack back into my back and stomach and are reabsorbed.At once, my higher cognitive processes kickstart.Ugh, I think I was pretty close to going from “intelligent slime” to just “slime”. So let’s keep the pseudobody experiment on the backburner. Speaking of backburner. Food would be great.Do slimes even need to eat? I mean, what exactly am I made out of? Is it some sort of fat? Jelly? Am I actually a flan and that’s not just a bad joke? Is my body LCL? Liquefied organs? I don’t really have a sense of light. Looking around, I appear to be in a cave.Well, maybe cave is too grandiose. I’m in a hole. It’s about ten meters square. Err, um round.Well, cavey round, you know? The widest part is about ten meters. There aren’t any particular rock formations. From the center of the hole, I can “look” up and see a passageway to hell-if-I-know-where. That’s it. “I’M SUPPOSED TO BE LORD OF A DUNGEON AND INSTEAD I’M LORD OF A HOLE?! THAT DAMN GENIE COULDN’T EVEN GET THAT PART, RIGHT?!”Whoa, I was so pissed off my thoughts literally spit out of me. The force of the slime churning inside of me formed enough sound for a voice to get out. Yuck, that was gross. Let’s shuffle, err, slime away from that mess . . . “Greetings, Master.”If I had eyes, they’d be pretty wide-open right now.
Name: ProtaPlayer: UnknownRace: Intelligent slimeGender: NeutralAge: 30 minutes
Str: 1→2Mot: 2Spd: 1Apt: 1Hea: 1Cre: 1End: 1Log: 1Dex: 1Cha: 1Agi: 0Ego: 0→1
Abilities: Creature Creation; Dungeon Terrain; Tackle; Pseudopod(“Not like I can really use pseudopod effectively though”)New Achievements: Last Second Save - Narrowly avoided a self-inflicted lobotomy. (“How close was it?!”)
Vomit Out Words - Manifested a voice through churning liquids. (“Now I get an achievement for throwing up? Please don’t remind me!”)
November 10, 2017
Dungeon Landlord 002
In Pursuit of the Ultimate Cheat, I Reluctantly Became a Dungeon (Land)Lord2 - Character Sheet
Ahhhh! Oh my god! The pain!Wait a second. I seem to be OK. Nothing hurts anway. Where am I? No matter how you look at it, it’s wayyyy too dark in here.Ahh! I’m paralyzed! I can’t move!Wait. I am moving. Why can’t I feel my arms?Or my legs?Hmm. What’s this? If I concentrate it seems like . . . it is! A flipping Character Sheet! Nice get!It’s me! Did my wish go through after all? Well, that means that I died, but if I got my wish then I can do anything. I can probably even go back home!I was a little worried when that genie lady said about being a dungeon owner, but . . . anyway, let’s check out my stats!Name: UndecidedPlayer: UnknownRace: Intelligent slimeGender: NeutralAge: 0
Str: 1Mot: 2Spd: 1Apt: 1Hea: 1Cre: 1End: 1Log: 1Dex: 1Cha: 1Agi: 0Ego: 0
Abilities: Creature Creation; Dungeon Terrain; TackleWHAT?! Intelligent slime? That can’t be! Can’t I at least get to be a shapeshifted dragon?!At LEAST?!Oh well. Let’s pick a name before we go any further. Hmm. How about Supreme Lord of Darkness! I don’t have to worry about being accused of being a chuuni if I’m in a world where slimes exist. Supreme Lord of Darkness is a little long though. Ah! I know, the name I used for all of my uber-NPCs! I watched with satisfaction as my listed name changed from “Undecided” to “Prota”.I mean, I can’t ever come up with a name, so maybe it’s a bit of a cheat to name my characters something like “protagonist”, but I always thought it was amusing to have an NPC named Prota. My friends never really got the humor though. Alright! Let’s max out these stats!. . . . . . Hmm?WHY AREN’T THEY MOVING?!
Name: Unknown → ProtaAge: 0 → 5 minutes.. . .
Stats: Unchanged.
Ahhhh! Oh my god! The pain!Wait a second. I seem to be OK. Nothing hurts anway. Where am I? No matter how you look at it, it’s wayyyy too dark in here.Ahh! I’m paralyzed! I can’t move!Wait. I am moving. Why can’t I feel my arms?Or my legs?Hmm. What’s this? If I concentrate it seems like . . . it is! A flipping Character Sheet! Nice get!It’s me! Did my wish go through after all? Well, that means that I died, but if I got my wish then I can do anything. I can probably even go back home!I was a little worried when that genie lady said about being a dungeon owner, but . . . anyway, let’s check out my stats!Name: UndecidedPlayer: UnknownRace: Intelligent slimeGender: NeutralAge: 0
Str: 1Mot: 2Spd: 1Apt: 1Hea: 1Cre: 1End: 1Log: 1Dex: 1Cha: 1Agi: 0Ego: 0
Abilities: Creature Creation; Dungeon Terrain; TackleWHAT?! Intelligent slime? That can’t be! Can’t I at least get to be a shapeshifted dragon?!At LEAST?!Oh well. Let’s pick a name before we go any further. Hmm. How about Supreme Lord of Darkness! I don’t have to worry about being accused of being a chuuni if I’m in a world where slimes exist. Supreme Lord of Darkness is a little long though. Ah! I know, the name I used for all of my uber-NPCs! I watched with satisfaction as my listed name changed from “Undecided” to “Prota”.I mean, I can’t ever come up with a name, so maybe it’s a bit of a cheat to name my characters something like “protagonist”, but I always thought it was amusing to have an NPC named Prota. My friends never really got the humor though. Alright! Let’s max out these stats!. . . . . . Hmm?WHY AREN’T THEY MOVING?!
Name: Unknown → ProtaAge: 0 → 5 minutes.. . .
Stats: Unchanged.
November 3, 2017
Dungeon Landlord 001
In Pursuit of the Ultimate Cheat, I Reluctantly Became a Dungeon (Land)Lord
1 - Death“So it’s that sort of thing, you know? What’s your wish?”“Wish?” The figure in front of me wasn’t blue, nor was she singing, but she could only be a genie. In fact, not only wasn’t she singing, but she seemed pretty bored. Where’s my Robin Williams? Can I not afford that much production value even in a dream?“Tch,” she clicked her tongue in annoyance, “Yeah, you know. Your one true desire. Anything you could want, I can give you.”I smiled. I had only ever had one wish and I wasn’t going to waste the chance even in a dream. “I wish for the powers of a dungeon lord!”Shocked from her languor, the genie asked, “That’s an odd one, are you sure?”“Are you kidding? It’s the ultimate power! To create anything I can imagine and change the game at will! Everyone’s character sheets open to me and editable by me, including my own!”I cheerfully lost myself in the memories of the module I finished just last night and the maiden playthrough by my online adventuring group. Right as they were about to prematurely reach the final boss room, I managed to push them onto a ramp leading to a subterranean monster den. I barely had time to tweak the special abilities of the boss before they made it back from the trap.Hmm. That’s strange. I can’t remember how the final fight ended . . . don’t tell me I fell asleep after all that! Oh shit, she’s still talking. “I’m pleased to announce your wish has been accepted! Let’s finish the rest of the details concerning your death at a later time.”Suddenly full of pep, the dream genie spouted off some nonsense about dying. What? Wait, MY DEATH?!“My death?!”“Yep!” Hey, don’t sound so happy with that response Miss Genie! “Usually, I just deal with people that want to bang their crushes when they die as young as you. You’re the first that just wanted to own some dungeon. I guess that’s why they OK’d the reincarnation request.”A sinking feeling turned my stomach inside out. “Excuse me, Miss Genie. Did you say dungeon owner?”“Yep!” Ugh, there’s that cheerful comeback! Go die! “I hope you like your new life! Try not to get hit by a meteor this time!”Pain flooded my senses and I involuntarily doubled over. My skin was burning and my organs were melting. To put it simply, things were NOT GOOD.“Oh, I forgot to mention that your body wasn’t recoverable for the reincarnation. But what are you going to do when you get hit by a meteor. Frankly, it’s a miracle that we were able to recover enough of you that you could even talk. So make do and TRY YOUR BEST!”The genie—no, was she some sort of death god?—the death god’s cheerful words chased me to merciful darkness.
Name: UndecidedPlayer: UnknownRace: Unknown (Former human)Gender: Burned offAge: 0 (formerly 20)
Str: 0Mot: 3Spd: 0Apt: 1Hea: 0Cre: 2End: 0Log: 1Dex: 0Cha: 0Agi: 0Ego: 0(“Unknown? I can’t remember my own name? And hey! Even if it’s burned off, you still have a gender, right! RIGHT?! It’s the 2000s!)Abnormal Status: Body destroyed (“Oh, come on!”)
New Achievements:
Dinosaur Wannabe - Killed by meteor (“She was being serious about that?”)
Leap before you look - Made a wish without a contract (“YEAH YEAH, I thought I was DREAMING. How the hell was I supposed to know it was some sort of purgatory”)
Died a Virgin - Did not request to lose virginity from death god (Rare trophy!) (“How many people request that for it to be a rare trophy?”)
Grateful Goddess - Did not request sex as final wish (Rare trophy!) (“TWO trophies for basically the same thing? I guess I understand why she was so happy about my wish”)
Land Owner - Proud (“!”) owner of a plot of land (“How could she have gotten this so wrong?”)
New Game+ - Granted the right to reincarnate (“Well, at least I’m not dead”)
1 - Death“So it’s that sort of thing, you know? What’s your wish?”“Wish?” The figure in front of me wasn’t blue, nor was she singing, but she could only be a genie. In fact, not only wasn’t she singing, but she seemed pretty bored. Where’s my Robin Williams? Can I not afford that much production value even in a dream?“Tch,” she clicked her tongue in annoyance, “Yeah, you know. Your one true desire. Anything you could want, I can give you.”I smiled. I had only ever had one wish and I wasn’t going to waste the chance even in a dream. “I wish for the powers of a dungeon lord!”Shocked from her languor, the genie asked, “That’s an odd one, are you sure?”“Are you kidding? It’s the ultimate power! To create anything I can imagine and change the game at will! Everyone’s character sheets open to me and editable by me, including my own!”I cheerfully lost myself in the memories of the module I finished just last night and the maiden playthrough by my online adventuring group. Right as they were about to prematurely reach the final boss room, I managed to push them onto a ramp leading to a subterranean monster den. I barely had time to tweak the special abilities of the boss before they made it back from the trap.Hmm. That’s strange. I can’t remember how the final fight ended . . . don’t tell me I fell asleep after all that! Oh shit, she’s still talking. “I’m pleased to announce your wish has been accepted! Let’s finish the rest of the details concerning your death at a later time.”Suddenly full of pep, the dream genie spouted off some nonsense about dying. What? Wait, MY DEATH?!“My death?!”“Yep!” Hey, don’t sound so happy with that response Miss Genie! “Usually, I just deal with people that want to bang their crushes when they die as young as you. You’re the first that just wanted to own some dungeon. I guess that’s why they OK’d the reincarnation request.”A sinking feeling turned my stomach inside out. “Excuse me, Miss Genie. Did you say dungeon owner?”“Yep!” Ugh, there’s that cheerful comeback! Go die! “I hope you like your new life! Try not to get hit by a meteor this time!”Pain flooded my senses and I involuntarily doubled over. My skin was burning and my organs were melting. To put it simply, things were NOT GOOD.“Oh, I forgot to mention that your body wasn’t recoverable for the reincarnation. But what are you going to do when you get hit by a meteor. Frankly, it’s a miracle that we were able to recover enough of you that you could even talk. So make do and TRY YOUR BEST!”The genie—no, was she some sort of death god?—the death god’s cheerful words chased me to merciful darkness.
Name: UndecidedPlayer: UnknownRace: Unknown (Former human)Gender: Burned offAge: 0 (formerly 20)
Str: 0Mot: 3Spd: 0Apt: 1Hea: 0Cre: 2End: 0Log: 1Dex: 0Cha: 0Agi: 0Ego: 0(“Unknown? I can’t remember my own name? And hey! Even if it’s burned off, you still have a gender, right! RIGHT?! It’s the 2000s!)Abnormal Status: Body destroyed (“Oh, come on!”)
New Achievements:
Dinosaur Wannabe - Killed by meteor (“She was being serious about that?”)
Leap before you look - Made a wish without a contract (“YEAH YEAH, I thought I was DREAMING. How the hell was I supposed to know it was some sort of purgatory”)
Died a Virgin - Did not request to lose virginity from death god (Rare trophy!) (“How many people request that for it to be a rare trophy?”)
Grateful Goddess - Did not request sex as final wish (Rare trophy!) (“TWO trophies for basically the same thing? I guess I understand why she was so happy about my wish”)
Land Owner - Proud (“!”) owner of a plot of land (“How could she have gotten this so wrong?”)
New Game+ - Granted the right to reincarnate (“Well, at least I’m not dead”)
October 30, 2017
Announcement: Dungeon (Land)Lord and Upcoming Publishing Schedule
Hi everyone!
I'm starting a webnovel (WN) called, "In Pursuit of the Ultimate Cheat, I Became a Dungeon (Land)Lord".
This is an isekai, game-world WN riffing off classic RPGs like D&D, Final Fantasy, and others. I set it in a WotA-like world so there will be familiar organizations, monsters, and the usual world map.
In fact, the "game engine" the WN uses is one I worked on developing for a pen-and-paper WotA game.
The premise is an individual from our world has been playing games like D&D for years—almost always as the game master—and has become convinced that becoming a "Dungeon Lord" would be the ultimate cheat in life. Being able to see and adjust character sheets, summon and create whatever sort of monsters and items imaginable, and just in general, reality altering abilities. When they lose their life in a freak meteorite crash, they are given the option to restart in another world with a single cheat . . . unfortunately the genie in charge misunderstood exactly what a "Dungeon Lord" was. Thus begins their second life as a dungeon landlord.
I'll be posting chapters and art on here. Look for a table of contents/summary page to pop up shortly.
Right now I'm working on getting enough chapters ahead so that I can maintain a weekly publishing schedule without too much effort. I've got the first six weeks ready to go.
This will be an ongoing story in addition to my normal publishing routine. Once arcs finish (far in the future), I'm planning on eventually going back and collecting the chapters and art and do a final edit/polish to release a paperback/digital LN version.
In other fiction news, we're still waiting on the final version of the The Throne of Ao cover before releasing a paperback edition.
The second chapter in Cross Adventures is nearing first draft completion, and we are currently aiming to release it this year, but nothing's been set in stone (and won't be until it's actually complete, I'm done on promising stories and failing to meet the deadlines because of day jobs and other responsibilities).
I've also been playing with the idea of having some free online stories in Cross's series, but I am waiting to see how Dungeon Landlord goes before committing to that. Web stories are simultaneously easier to write and make a LOT less money (in my experience), so I'm not anticipating it becoming a major part of our catalog.
There are always other stories in the mix, but these are the ones that are our main projects right now.
Additionally, I plan on moving away from the "whatever I feel like talking about" aspect of this blog and concentrate it more completely on my own creative endeavors. Occasionally, I won't be able to resist doing reviews and analyses of shows I'm loving (or hating) and if I can tie something to what affects me personally, I'll definitely weigh in on it, but those things never really reached much of an audience so they ended up being entirely a vanity project.
Comment your thoughts and questions below!
Thanks,
~Zero
I'm starting a webnovel (WN) called, "In Pursuit of the Ultimate Cheat, I Became a Dungeon (Land)Lord".
This is an isekai, game-world WN riffing off classic RPGs like D&D, Final Fantasy, and others. I set it in a WotA-like world so there will be familiar organizations, monsters, and the usual world map.
In fact, the "game engine" the WN uses is one I worked on developing for a pen-and-paper WotA game.
The premise is an individual from our world has been playing games like D&D for years—almost always as the game master—and has become convinced that becoming a "Dungeon Lord" would be the ultimate cheat in life. Being able to see and adjust character sheets, summon and create whatever sort of monsters and items imaginable, and just in general, reality altering abilities. When they lose their life in a freak meteorite crash, they are given the option to restart in another world with a single cheat . . . unfortunately the genie in charge misunderstood exactly what a "Dungeon Lord" was. Thus begins their second life as a dungeon landlord.
I'll be posting chapters and art on here. Look for a table of contents/summary page to pop up shortly.
Right now I'm working on getting enough chapters ahead so that I can maintain a weekly publishing schedule without too much effort. I've got the first six weeks ready to go.
This will be an ongoing story in addition to my normal publishing routine. Once arcs finish (far in the future), I'm planning on eventually going back and collecting the chapters and art and do a final edit/polish to release a paperback/digital LN version.
In other fiction news, we're still waiting on the final version of the The Throne of Ao cover before releasing a paperback edition.
The second chapter in Cross Adventures is nearing first draft completion, and we are currently aiming to release it this year, but nothing's been set in stone (and won't be until it's actually complete, I'm done on promising stories and failing to meet the deadlines because of day jobs and other responsibilities).
I've also been playing with the idea of having some free online stories in Cross's series, but I am waiting to see how Dungeon Landlord goes before committing to that. Web stories are simultaneously easier to write and make a LOT less money (in my experience), so I'm not anticipating it becoming a major part of our catalog.
There are always other stories in the mix, but these are the ones that are our main projects right now.
Additionally, I plan on moving away from the "whatever I feel like talking about" aspect of this blog and concentrate it more completely on my own creative endeavors. Occasionally, I won't be able to resist doing reviews and analyses of shows I'm loving (or hating) and if I can tie something to what affects me personally, I'll definitely weigh in on it, but those things never really reached much of an audience so they ended up being entirely a vanity project.
Comment your thoughts and questions below!
Thanks,
~Zero
