Emerald's Blog, page 21
October 31, 2012
Recommended Reading #123: Humor, Pt. III
“The Creative Process — Pie Chart” at LOL ZOMBIE (Non-Sex-Related, Writing) Undated
I first discovered this on Janine Ashbless’s blog and must credit her with introducing it to me. I realize it doesn’t involve much reading, but it did/does make me laugh out loud. (For me the random Internet surfing piece is larger than the binge eating piece, but the overall point is still much appreciated!)
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“Stabbing the Cat” by Ashley Lister (Non-Sex-Related, Pets) 10/20/12
Amidst obvious reverence for the health challenges of both cat and wife, this made me laugh out loud.
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“The Daily Grinder” at PostHumorous.org (Non-Sex-Related, Memoir) 1/25/10
This has cracked me up literally every time I’ve read it—starting with the title!
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October 24, 2012
Recommended Reading #122: Digging Deeper, Pt. IV
“Men Aren’t Weak, And Neither Are Muslims” by Hugo Schwyze (Sociology, Gender, Religion) 10/2/12
I find the parallels Hugo draws here excellent. Both points—that people’s ideals are not so fragile that insulting or offending them should bring people to violence, and that heterosexual men’s self-control is not rendered nonexistent or inoperable by any visual stimulation on the part of women—seem both patently obvious and commonly unrecognized or overlooked to me. I found Hugo’s juxtaposing of them here a powerful and incisive exposition.
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“What Does Paula Ryan Think? Castration is a Gift From God” by Soraya Chemaly (Politics, Gender, Sex and Culture) 10/24/12
[Trigger warning: sexual assault]
As profoundly sad as the idea of this needing to be said seems to me, it does seem called-for, and I appreciate Ms. Chemaly’s expressing this.
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“Vacation Sex Should Happen At Home” by Alyssa Royse (Self-Awareness, Sexual Identity, Safer Sex) 10/1/12
Indeed. It amazes me somewhat that this still needs to be said, but it seems to, so I appreciate Ms. Royse’s saying it!
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October 17, 2012
Recommended Reading #121: Parenting, Pt. V
“The right way to talk to young girls about beauty” by Hugo Schwyzer (Non-Sex-Related, Gender Socialization, Sociology) 1/17/12
I simply love this and couldn’t agree more. To me our systems of socialization have seemed so skewed that we seem to have difficulty seeing physical beauty or attractiveness as simply another of multitudes of personal traits different people experience, prioritize, and perceive differently. Why is physical beauty, for example, seen (it seems to me) in some contexts as more or less universally relevant than, for example, the ability to run fast or retain memories of historical facts or play chess or project one’s voice? Each of these seems to have different contexts in which it seems more relevant, and some people who have not experienced themselves as exemplifying these qualities may wish to, and some people may feel more inclined to appreciate or pay attention to cultivating any of these traits than others. I see physical beauty as another of these traits. Our socialization has somehow made this seem more complicated, which I find somewhat unfortunate.
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“Why I Didn’t Call The Cops After My Daughter’s Near Sexual Assault” by Lynn Beisner (Sexual Assault, Youth, U.S. Justice System) 10/9/12
[TRIGGER WARNING: Sexual assault]
I recommend this because the strength and courage of the young woman involved almost leaves me speechless—both from gratitude and from admiration. I appreciate her actions so much. The author’s expression that her daughter, by “doing whatever it took to even survive, let alone escape rape” had “earned the right to choose what happened next” struck me deeply. Another thing that struck me was the incredible relationship between the mother and daughter, especially for a young teenager. Extraordinary, and I’m so glad for both of them that they had that level of respect, trust, and connection with each other. Additionally, the author’s mention that she “knew in [her] heart that in a perfect world, this would be something that a criminal justice system should investigate” gave me a hollow feeling. What a horrible predicament that our “justice” system simply does not feel dependable to some people in some places (understandably, I don’t doubt).
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“You are enough” by Hollie Holden (Non-Sex-Related, Consciousness/Spirituality, Self-Awareness) 10/15/12
A profound message—and one I find universally well-taken.
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October 10, 2012
Recommended Reading #120: Interaction and Relating, Pt. II
“On Digging Out My Ex Wife’s Tampon” by Hugo Schwyzer (Memoir, Relationship) 9/20/12
I don’t feel I know what to say about this except that I found it touching and beautiful.
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“Make Me Want It” by Mollena Williams (BDSM, Self-Awareness, Psychology) 10/3/12
This brought me to tears a few times as I read it. Though the reasons seemed inexplicable, I suspect the energy and sincerity I sensed in what was being said simply touched something deep in me, whether I felt consciously aware of what it was or not. This struck me as a beautiful piece.
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“It’s A Lap Dance. It’s A Moment. Take It” by AV Flox (Sex Work, Sex and Culture, Memoir) 10/7/12
I find this one of the most eloquent, articulate expositions I’ve come across on something I myself have felt and expressed numerous times.
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October 3, 2012
Recommended Reading #119: Politics, Pt. IV
“What do responses to the Washington DC 20-week abortion ban tell us about the habits of the prochoice movement?” by Tracy Weitz (Reproductive Rights, U.S. Public Policy) 7/25/12
I firmly agree with what I interpret this piece as saying and indeed have felt such things for some time. Constitutionality might be relevant practically, but I have never found it an argument to use as a basis for reproductive rights—the basic right to sexual and bodily autonomy is far more fundamental than anything any court/Court has to say. I see the right to choose and obtain an abortion as fundamentally frankly having nothing to do with law or courts—the right is always there regardless of practical circumstances. Again, practical circumstances and law are important, but it seems to me an emphasis on and understanding of the fundamental rights involved for all women would be more likely to lead organically to those protections than continually fighting for manipulable legal protections will lead to actual reproductive freedom.
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“Republicans, Democrats: Here’s A Sexual Health Platform” by Dr. Marty Klein (U.S. Public Policy, Health and Body, Sex and Culture) 9/8/12
How lovely it seems to me it would be if what’s expressed here actually made its way into mainstream public conversation. And even lovelier, it also seems to me, if these policies were understood to be the accepted and acceptable framework of sexual public policy in the United States.
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“Sex: the missing term from the contraception and abortion debate” by Chloe Angyal (Sex and Culture, Gender, Health and Body) 10/2/12
I don’t even know what to add to this. I love it, and I feel so energized and delighted to see it said.
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September 26, 2012
Recommended Reading #118: Perception and Underlying Bias
“How media clearly reflects the sexism and the racism we cannot see in ourselves.” by Aubrey Li (Race, Gender, Sociology, Non-Sex-Related) 9/9/12
This seemed to me a powerful piece, and I winced reading it. Not because I was judgmentally horrified by what the students did, but because, painful as I find it, I don’t doubt I might do the same thing (also completely unwittingly), and because I strongly feel racism, sexism, and other “-isms” are indoctrinated in us at a subliminal level so that we may experience these kinds of perceptions without realizing it even if we don’t consider ourselves “racist,” etc. The things expressed here are the kinds of things it seems to me very important to see, as recognizing them can help unwind that subconscious indoctrination.
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“Can I Have Fat Pride Without Throwing Thin Women Under The Bus?” by Emily Heist Moss (Health and Body, Gender, Sociology, Non-Sex-Related) 8/30/12
I love and appreciate this and wholly agree with what I interpret her as saying. I especially adore her pointing out how magical and extraordinary bodies really are—all appearance aside!
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“Feminist Polygamy” by Steven Padnick (Non-Monogamy, Relationship, Sex and Culture) Undated
I love this breakdown of stereotypical and often unconscious/subconscious perceptions about gender and relationship. (I too am sorry to see Mr. Savage positing such things, but while I have often appreciated what he’s had to say, I know I have not always agreed with all of it.) I find this piece filled with insight and articulated beautifully.
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September 19, 2012
Recommended Reading #117: Fiction, Pt. IV
“Real Men” by Elissa Wald (Non-Erotic Fiction) 5/27/12
This may seem a little long. But it is so extraordinary, I simply recommend reading it.
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“You’re Ugly When You Come” by Alana Noël Voth (Explicit Fiction, Heterosexual) 9/9/12
I found this piece gorgeous and striking—as I have most of the things I’ve ever read by Alana Noel Voth.
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“Two Fronts” by Craig J. Sorensen (Erotic Fiction, Lesbian) 2009
I love this beautiful, evocative, seamless story from one of my favorite erotica writers.
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September 12, 2012
Recommended Reading #116: Memoir, Pt. V
“Why I’m Pro Life but Not ‘Pro-Life’” by Rachel Kramer Bussel (Reproductive Rights, Politics, Philosophy) 9/10/12
I find this a beautiful and eloquent exposition on things that, while they seem obvious to me, also seem of the highest relevance to express in current society.
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“How to Tell Your Parents You’re a Prostitute” by Robin Hustle (Sex Work, Parenting, Sex and Society) 9/7/12
I found this compelling in a number of ways, addressing powerful questions around parenting, choices, sex work, and society.
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“The Bare Truth: Why I Don’t Have Pubic Hair” by Alyssa Royse (Gender, Sex and Society, Sex and Aging) 9/11/12
This is so magnificent, as far as I’m concerned. For whatever reason, it actually brought me to tears at the end. Beautiful, for so many reasons/in so many ways.
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September 5, 2012
Recommended Reading #115: Responding to Discord, Pt. II
“Bullies on the Bus” by Charles M. Blow (Non-Sex-Related, Sociology, Politics, Youth) 6/22/12
I find this an insightful, powerful piece, and indeed I agree with Mr. Blow’s assessment. As I expressed in a piece I wrote in 2010, I frequently see the ugly actions of children as resultant of the example we as adults set for them. I wish us all the strength and awareness to recognize our own patterns and unconsciousness that contribute to such.
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“When rape jokes aren’t funny” by Julie Burton and Michelle Kinsey Bruns (Gender, Sociology, Psychology) 7/16/12
I will first point out that while I deliberately did not follow very much about this story, my (limited) impression was not that reaction seemeed split down gender lines (which I much appreciate). In the larger picture, it may have seemed so, but I just wanted to mention that to give credit to the noticeable perspectives from (those identifying as) men that I saw. However, the overall offering I perceive in this piece about empathy and experience in the context of the gross socialization around gender and sexuality I see in this culture at this time is, from my point of view, well-taken.
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“Jodie Foster Blasts Kristen Stewart–Robert Pattinson Break-Up Spectacle” by Jodie Foster (Privacy, Sociology, Fame) 8/15/12
I love this so much I hardly know where to start saying why. I have long found abhorrent this society’s tendency to feel entitled to know about and comment on things that are none of its business whatsoever simply because the person’s life in question is famous for whatever reason. I find this piece beautifully written, I love what this piece says, am I am so very glad to see someone saying it.
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August 29, 2012
Recommended Reading #114: Digging Deeper, Pt. III
“Sex: You’re Doing it Right” by Candice Holdorf (Self-Awareness, Psychology, Spirituality) 8/7/12
It seems to me that almost anyone could benefit from and feel resonance reading this.
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“Monogamy is a fairytale ideal: affairs won’t go away” by Helen Croydon (Non-monogamy, Relationship, Sex and Culture) 8/27/12
While I don’t feel any desire to actually “monogamy-bash” because it’s not monogamy I see as a problem but rather the cultural obsession with it, I appreciate offered perspectives about monogamy perhaps not seeming the ideal or “standard” for human romantic relationship. I doubly appreciate it when our obsession is pointed out to us, as sometimes it still seems to me the culture doesn’t even recognize this or simply thinks it is because monogamy is indeed inherently the best or most appropriate way to be in sexual/romantic relationship. (In case it is not obvious, I find this perspective outlandish.) Invitations like this to examine our cultural expectations and consider expansions of perspective and practice seem to me relevant and well-taken.
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“50 Shades of…Jade?” by Jade Melisande (Self-Awareness, Non-monogamy, Sex and Culture, BDSM) 8/22/12
I am completely uninformed about Fifty Shades of Grey, as I have not read it and thus everything I have seen or heard about it is second-hand. I don’t love this piece because of knowing anything about that book; I love it because of what it points out about self-awareness and sexuality, particularly in the context of relationship. I also like what she says at the end about Fifty Shades being fiction. The whole post strikes me as insightful and interesting, and I agree that one’s experience of and appreciation for one’s sexuality (even if it is experienced as asexuality) is well worth examining and exploring.
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