Emerald's Blog, page 20
December 19, 2012
Recommended Reading #129: Questioning the System(s), Pt. III
“do we really want to protect ‘our’ children?” by Jen Cross (Non-sex-related, Youth, U.S. Public Policy, Media) 12/18/12
I have not commented on the recent events in Connecticut because I simply don’t feel they are for me to comment on. I am heartbroken by the tragedy, and to say I wish every bit of the best for all affected doesn’t seem to begin to do justice to how I feel—but I wish that all the time, for everybody. What we have become aware via media happened in Connecticut is a horrifying, harsh tragedy…and tragedies occur all over the world all the time. That’s not meant to undermine the gravity of or reverence for any of it. Basically, I just agree with what I interpret in this piece. It may sound blunt, but I don’t understand why the media needs to feed a frenzy for the whole nation to foam at the mouth to hear about and talk about this kind of thing, as though we forget that every day sees children starving to death, killed by warfare, and affected by violence all over the planet. :(
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“Marriage is Broken. Here’s How to Fix It.” by Amanda Hess (Sex and Culture, U.S. Public Policy, Sociology) 11/6/12
I don’t personally feel very much of an investment in the social institution that is marriage, but I do see the significance with which society seems to imbue it as having important implications. As such, I find this an interesting article. I wholly agree (and have stated so many times) with Bryce Covert’s assessment, as well as Zak Stone’s. The parental rights issues Steven Horwitz and Joanna Schroeder allude to seem to me things we must be examining now, and the alternative ideas I interpret Nona Willis Aronowitz and Ann Friedman as offering strike me as well worth considering. Alyssa Royce’s and Hugo Schwyzer’s perspectives resonate particularly strongly with me as conscious and articulate offerings that are extrapolative beyond the immediate issue of marriage into how we perceive and function in relationship in general, as well as the contextualization of relationship with government and education.
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“Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Sext?” by Sabrina Maddeaux (Youth, Sex and Culture, Gender Socialization, Slut-Shaming) 11/15/12
I simply find this fabulous and spot-on.
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December 17, 2012
Red, White, and the International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers
Today, December 17, is the annual International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers. I meant to post this earlier today, but that isn’t how the day has gone. So I shall post it now, in hindsight rather than anticipation.
The symbolic color for this day is red (the general symbol for sex worker rights is the red umbrella). Over the past few days I’ve been reflecting on this color and my perception of its relation to sex worker rights. In the Diamond Approach, red is the color of Strength and capacity. In Five-Element Acupuncture, it corresponds with the heart, the element of Fire, embodying joy and connection. The red or root chakra relates to our grounding, our “I am”-ness, our very survival.
I wore red today to honor the International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers. I feel moved by considering these symbolic invitations of red as well as how they fit into the support of sex worker rights and the rights and love of all.
In my own journey, I seem to be entering a phase related to the color white. In the Diamond Approach, white is the color of Will. Will is what enables us to stay with what is true, even when it feels overwhelming or terrifying or both. A new area of inner Work has seemed to open up before me within the last week, and Will will be essential in working effectively with it. Will enables and supports us in following Truth.
Thus I wore white today too.
From a Diamond Approach perspective, I dressed to honor Strength and Will tonight. In this consciously-chosen outfit, as I accompanied one of my closest friends to dinner at one of our favorite restaurants, I displayed reverence for what December 17 has been invited to represent and for my personal Work and journey. This is my contribution this year…while it may seem minuscule, for some reason it feels important to me.
Peace and love to all.
Love,
Emerald
“Then I stepped into my satin dancing dress, it had a split in the side clean up to my hip; it was red with velvet trim and it fit me good, and standing back from the looking glass, there stood a woman where a half-grown kid had stood…”
-Reba McEntire “Fancy”
December 12, 2012
Recommended Reading #128: Autonomy, Pt. II
“Parental notification reconsidered — and rejected — by the father of a daughter” by Hugo Schwyzer (Youth, Parenting, Reproductive Rights) 3/25/10
The minor (in this context) issue of my general eschewal of the word “God” notwithstanding, I adore the entirety of this piece intensely. I love the intersection of personal, philosophical, and insightful that I see it as embodying (I just realized I’ve often noticed a particular knack for that in Hugo’s writing), and I couldn’t agree more with its content.
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“Quick Hit: The Smiths believe in raising a girl in command of her own body” by Syreeta (Parenting, Youth, Gender Socialization) 11/27/12
This strikes me as simultaneously so obvious and yet so woefully commonly unrecognized. I also find it profoundly important and so appreciate that Willow’s parents embody and set this example.
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“Blind Iowa Man Empowers Disabled Students to Follow Their Dreams” by Kristin Kloberdanz (Humanity, Disability, Non-Sex-Related) 10/17/12
I find this deeply beautiful and inspiring.
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December 5, 2012
Recommended Reading #127: Sex Work Beyond Stereotypes, Pt. II
“Paying for Sex — And Love” by Tracy Clark-Flory (Sex Work, Research, Sociology, Psychology) 9/14/12
I don’t feel surprised by any of this, but I do find it interesting to see studies or discussions of sex work that are not rife with vitriol, stereotyping, or what seems to me study bias from the outset. This is the kind of thing I appreciate knowing people might be reading and that may subsequently expand perspectives or provoke consideration.
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“Sex Legislation in Measure B and Prop 35″ by Maggie Mayhem (Sex Work, Public Policy, Sex and Culture) 10/15/12
I appreciate Maggie’s articulation here, even as, of course, both measures sadly passed in California. It is probably obvious that I harbor no hesitation whatsoever to oppose Proposition 35; it may seem less obvious given my identification as an active proponent of condom use, including in porn, that I oppose(d) Measure B. However, I do. I may write a longer post of my own on this subject (have had it in draft stages for months!), but the gist is that it does not make sense to me for the government to demand and enforce condom use for the porn industry. I appreciate condom usage in porn because I feel it sets a great example, indeed; I do not feel the government is in an appropriate position to mandate this in the porn industry any more than it makes sense to me for it to require that characters in all movies wear seat belts. Maggie alludes to one of my biggest reasons for this, which is that movies are not supposed to be the inspiration for how we practice safety in our lives—which is good because it doesn’t seem they’d be a helpful one. Again, I personally advocate using condoms in porn to demonstrate their sexiness and importance, but I don’t want porn to be officially held up as an example of how people should have sex. It seems to me legally mandating condom use in porn is acting in just that way (though I doubt proponents would see it that way! It is purported to be for performers’ health, which I frankly simply don’t buy), and that strikes me as misguided.
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“Organized Labor’s Newest Heroes: Strippers” by Melissa Gira Grant (Sex Work, Labor Rights) 11/19/12
I find it refreshing to read about sex workers in the context of actual labor, mainly because it’s often seemed to me people have forgotten or simply not realized that sex work is indeed a job and does have labor considerations just like others do. As far as the content of the article, of course, I am glad to hear/read of strippers making strides in the area of labor rights.
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December 2, 2012
Coming to Philly a Week From Today!
I am both honored and excited to be presenting again as a feature at Essensuality (Facebook invite here), created and hosted by the magnificent Monica Day. This time, Essensuality will be taking place in Philadelphia next Sunday, December 9. You can buy tickets here!
Essensuality
Date: Sunday, December 9th
Time: 7:00 PM
Location: L’Etage 624 South 6th Street, Philadelphia
(Upstairs from Beau Monde, on Bainbridge at 6th)
Price: $15 (Purchase tickets in advance here)
I performed last September at Essensuality in New York City, and it was an extraordinary experience. I am so excited to do it again—and if you’re not familiar with Monica’s amazing work, see this article (recently featured in Recommended Reading), and also check out the beautiful, personal new gift creation she is offering just in time for the winter holidays: Desire Delivered.
I’m delighted to be a part of Monica’s remarkable work in the sexuality realm and am so looking forward to this event. If you’re in the region, please join us next Sunday! Oh, and if you want to perform—she has an open mic segment—contact Monica via one of the pages linked here and let her know!
Love,
Emerald
“If you want to walk with me, then leave that false innocence behind…”
-Live “Show”
November 28, 2012
Recommended Reading #126: Erotica Writing, Pt. II
“Confessions Of A Literary Streetwalker: What’s Erotic?” by M. Christian (Writing, Perspective, Arousal) 9/10/12
I agree entirely with what I interpret as postulated in this piece and consider it an important recognition for writers of erotica. I appreciate discussions like this that open us (or remind us of) the vastness of what constitutes both sexuality and erotica as an art form.
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“Creating Pure Pleasure: How to Change Lives with Erotica, Telling Truths, and Orgasmic Cookies” by Donna George Storey (Sex and Culture, Art) 11/2012
I appreciate Donna’s framing of erotica as focused on pleasure, as well as the reminder that (and why) society still seems to find this alarming. As usual, I find it refreshing (and affirming!) to read her articulate observations about the cultural resistance to the work of erotic artists.
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“We Deviants. We Happy Deviants” by Remittance Girl (Sex and Culture, Academia, Writing) 11/14/12
I find this a beautifully insightful exposition on both human sexuality and the art of erotica.
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November 21, 2012
Recommended Reading #125: Relationship, Pt. IV
“The motherhood mystique” by Rachel Hills (Parenthood, Non-sex-related, Sociology) 11/19/12
This piece about Jessica Valenti’s new book, Why Have Kids?, includes quotes from her that I find strikingly insightful. The whole piece seems to me to address a profound issue and source of truth, and the comparison offered between the phenomenon in question and Friedan’s “problem with no name” strike me as incisive as well. In addition, framing motherhood (and parenthood in general) as a relationship rather than a job resonates with me deeply. (For one thing, it occurs to me that it relinquishes the intrinsic recognition of the parent as “boss”….)
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“My Mom Had Lots Of Sex And Met Her New Husband Through Online Dating” by Kerry Cohen (Sex and Culture, Sex and Aging, Self-Awareness) 10/8/12
Not only do I love this as an illuminating exposition on sexuality and aging, but I also greatly appreciate the absence of furtiveness or self-consciousness about authenticating and acknowledging one’s sexuality and behavior. The thwarting of a number of absurd cultural assumptions seems central to the experience detailed in this piece, and it’s one of the reasons I recommend it!
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“The Cold, Hard Truth About Relationships” by Monica Day (Self-Awareness, Psychology) 10/2/12
I find this exposition about self-awareness, relationship with one’s self, and the relevance of both those things to any relationship with other brilliant.
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November 17, 2012
(Belated!) Costuming Tails :)
So, for some reason it’s taken me half a month to post about Halloween this year. Let’s not dwell on whether that’s a result of procrastination, absurd scheduling, or some combination of both! Instead, as is tradition, I want to present my costume from this year and explain a bit about how it came about! (At least I’m getting this done before Thanksgiving.)
Rick Write and I once again hosted a Halloween party the Saturday before the holiday this year. His enthusiasm for Halloween translates into really going all-out with the decorating:
Which I myself enjoy quite a bit. :)
On to my costume, for the last six years, I have volunteered at a seasonal butterfly exhibit over the summers. When I moved in with Rick last year, the distance between my residence and the exhibit approximately tripled, but I love volunteering there so have continued to, even though I haven’t gone in quite as often.
This year, I particularly loved volunteering there, in large part because of the staff. There are a few staff members that have remained constant over the years, while several part-time positions have usually been filled anew every year or two. This year, all the part-time exhibit employees were new. I have always loved the regular staff that has worked there, and this year I felt a particular connection with some of the new staff members, making my time at the exhibit even more enjoyable than in the past.
Thus, one weekend as I was pondering what my Halloween costume would be this year, inspiration struck: I had never gone as a butterfly, despite how much I love them, and suddenly it occurred to me that I could create my own original butterfly costume patterned after one of the actual species of butterfly we house in the exhibit—the species that happens to be my favorite one there.
What is it? The emerald swallowtail, of course. :) (Yes, that really is its name!)
I knew immediately what would make up the bulk of my costume that I already owned, and that I would have to largely create the wings—which, of course, would be the centerpiece of the costume—because I highly suspected emerald swallowtail costumes wouldn’t be for sale anywhere. :)
The wings creation involved purchasing plain white fairy wings at the Halloween store and black spray paint, pipe cleaners, and this fabulous emerald green glitter tape I found at Michael’s. Armed with these ingredients, I found a well-ventilated area (i.e., the driveway) and painted the wings black. Since there were silver glitter swirls on the wings that appeared resistant to spray paint, I had to do a little more work to cover them up (namely tracing them with glue and pouring black glitter over them).
Since the emerald swallowtail is, obviously, a swallowtail butterfly, I wanted to make the swallowtails to add to its wings—not doing so seemed to me to make the costume far less authentic. :) I achieved this by forming the outline of their shape with black pipe cleaners and cutting out black cardboard in the same shape to glue the pipecleaners to. (It occurs to me now that I could have just used the black cardboard, but the pipecleaners did seem to highlight their shape somehow.) Glue did not seem to hold this well, so I ended up stapling them to the wings, which worked like a charm (lol).
When the paint was dry, I positioned strips of the green glitter tape approximately where the stripes of iridescent green are on the actual butterfly’s wings. Considerable paint fumes and seemingly pounds of glitter strewn across the garage floor later, the wings were ready!
I purchased antennae as well, of course, and almost everything else in the costume I think I already owned. Obviously the costume works best from the back, so the pictures below are generally from that angle. :) Here it is, my emerald swallowtail costume for Halloween 2012:
And here is its inspiration. Isn’t it gorgeous?
Happy belated Halloween!!
Love,
Emerald
“And everywhere she goes, everybody knows, she’s so glad to be alive, she’s a butterfly…”
-Martina McBride “Butterfly”
November 14, 2012
Recommended Reading #124: Transformation
“Confessions of a formerly sexist man” by Hugo Schwyzer (Sociology, Self-Awareness, Gender Socialization, Feminism) 10/31/12
I find this piece strikingly insightful and articulate. I couldn’t agree more with the assertions about gender socialization and its detriment to both individuals and society, and as far as personal revelation, this kind of elucidation on self-awareness (which I see as almost always a part of transformation) evokes profound appreciation in me. The commentary on feminism as a philosophy strikes me as fascinating as well, and I will admit I don’t know if I’ve ever consciously perceived it that way.
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“It’s just a ride” by Bill Hicks (Recommended Watch, Philosophy, Spirituality, Non-Sex-Related) 9/3/07
As simple and/or comic as this may seem, I see it also as true.
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“10 Signs You Are a ‘Good Girl’ & 10 Tips for Discovering Your ‘Good Woman.’” by Candice Holdorf (Self-Awareness, Gender Socialization, Sociology) 11/9/12
While this strikes me as poignant because I am aware there are numerous ways I still tend to act like a “good girl” as purported here, I love and find resonant the descriptions of the perception of a “good woman.” I also like that this is not a piece (it seems to me at least) about how to “act differently” or embark on some other maneuver to, ironically, gain further or different approval. It is about internal experience and connection with oneself. Beautiful—and reminiscent in general of transformation.
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November 7, 2012
Recommended Reading #123: Politics, Pt. V
“Romney Is President” by Maureen Dowd (Non-Sex-Related, Sociology, Humanism) 11/10/12
This resonates with my own sense that the Republican ticket of the most recent U.S. presidential election seemed geared toward a quite traditional white/straight/cisgender/normatively-abled male populace, and how disturbing I found what seemed to me the open and unapologetic catering as such. I am and was both relieved and heartened to see the defeat of such as well as what appeared to be appreciably progressive signs in elections and election results across the country.
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“Should We Discriminate Against Chick-Fil-A?” by Dr. Marty Klein (LGBT, Sex and Culture, Censorship) 7/26/12
While this seems outdated in literal terms, the overall offering strikes me as more far-reaching—as well as nicely put. I of course find the open anti-gay stance of Chick-Fil-A’s head honcho as distasteful as anyone, but I agree that disallowing the business to be somewhere based on the company president’s public stance about something oversteps a concerning line. Practically speaking, I do feel uncomfortable with government stepping in to disallow a business to operate based on government’s disagreement with a public stance of the company’s leadership. That does not seem to me to be for government to dictate. I like what Marty focuses on instead toward the end of this post about the heartening nature of the mayors’ speaking out, both in content (what they said) and in practice (in, as Marty points out, the current political “play-it-safe-ism”). That indeed, it seems to me, is lovely to see!
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“Letter to a future Republican strategist regarding white people” by Eric Garland (Non-Sex-Related, U.S. Public Policy, Politics) 11/9/12
While I perhaps don’t agree with every tonal nuance and/or point made in this piece (and there are a number I would add), on the whole it resonates highly with me—and I much enjoyed reading it!
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