Turney Duff's Blog, page 4

Bonus to Quit Your Job

I came from Wall Street where bonuses are typically given out at the end of every year. Companies reward employees for a job well done, hoping that it will be an incentive to retain their top talent. But at Mavens, a cloud-consulting company for the health-care industry, they’ll pay you a bonus to quit.

Why on earth would they do that?

For the same reason, says CEO and co-founder Prasad “PK” Kanumury: To retain top talent.

The quitting bonus is only an option for new hires. It expires at the end of the first 45 days of employment. If the job isn’t what a person expected or they decide they’re unhappy; they have the right to accept 10 percent of their base salary as a bonus to leave the company.

The thinking goes that, if an employee is unhappy with the job, they’re going to be looking for a job anyway – while they’re on the company clock.

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I’ve never Google searched Money Porn

But typing that headline makes me curious. I’m going to do it right now. Hold please… Okay, well, I was too afraid to click the link of the first result because my computer is already running slowly. And we all know how easy it is to get a virus. But here’s the description under the link: Dark-haired amateur girl Katarina is offered the sum of money for the nasty things she must do in the street. Well, she is probably in the need of money.

Katarina I feel you girlfriend. I’m in the need of some money too. It seems like nobody has enough. Have you ever heard of someone complaining about having too much money? “Ugh. My account balances have way too many zeros,” or “This huge wad of cash in my pocket is so uncomfortable. Does it make me look fat?”

Nobody has enough. Or so they think. But when I had a lot of money it wasn’t the actual currency that made me feel good—it was how it made me feel—like a drug. It was sort of like freebasing cocaine. Freebase is prepared from cocaine hydrochloride by extracting the cocaine with ammonia and adding a solvent. The mixture separates into two layers; the top solvent layer contains the dissolved cocaine. The solvent is then evaporated leaving almost pure cocaine crystals, white and crumbly like feta (cheese). It brings a very powerful high.

And you feel fantastic when you inhale the cocaine. The immediate effects are increased energy, self-confidence and alertness, but then you start to come down soon after exhaling. And once you start, it’s almost impossible to put down.

FREEBASING MONEY

A long, long time ago in 2004, before the masses started using online banking, we had to use our cell phones and push buttons when calling our banks. It was just after bonus season and I could see the snow starting to fall on the cobblestones of Tribeca, but I was snug under a blanket, alone, in my 2,700 square-foot apartment. I dialed the 800-number to Chase and waited to hear my balance. The female automated voice said, “Your balance is one million, eight hundred thousand and…”

I hit repeat.

“One million, eight hundred thousand and…”

Repeat.

Repeat.

Repeat

And just like any other drug—you build up a tolerance. When I first got my job on Wall Street at Morgan Stanley I thought I was one of those kids who received a “golden ticket” in Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory. And in many ways I was, but I forgot to recall the fate of all of those children… I wasn’t Charlie… When I was making $22,000 a year, I thought all of my problems would be solved if I could make $50,000. But I was having those same exact thoughts when I was making $2 million a year. It never was enough.

THE MONEY PLAN

What I lacked the most rising up on the Street was self-awareness. I had moments of it and very often questioned my behavior, but I was never able to do much with the glimpses of reality. However I had a plan on that cold wintery night in 2004. I was going to take everything I could from Wall Street and use all the money I made to fund my passion—writing. I knew I wasn’t really a finance guy, but I ended up being pretty good at it and no one had suspected me of being a fraud yet. I was 34 and the blueprint was to get out at the age of 40. I felt like a modern day Robin Hood. I was going to earn from Wall Street and give back to the Arts. I just needed to wait six years and make a lot of money. And as a lot of you know my plans didn’t go quite accordingly to plan…

MONEY HIDES THE REAL PROBLEMS

Nobody wants to hear the problems of a wealthy person—deservedly so… What money magically does is help sweep certain problems and feelings under the rug. And in many ways that’s an advantage. If you don’t have to worry about making rent or putting food on the table that’s a huge relief, but it doesn’t get you any closer to fixing the real problems. I personally have/had a lot. I think mostly I wanted validation and to be looked at as successful. And money helped me accomplished those goals I thought. But the positive effects of money were short-lived.

What was the driving force for me wanting to feel validated or successful? I cared what people thought. But if I boil it down even further—I just wanted people to like me. And having a lot of money certainly created a huge false sense of likability. Perhaps digging even further I think it’s safe to say one of the reasons it was so important to me to have people like me was because I didn’t really like myself. That sounds so esoteric and generic. I’m sorry, but I’m still trying to figure it out. Maybe subconsciously I believed that if others validated me and viewed me one way that I too would believe it. We’ll get back to this another time when I figure it out.

DISCLAIMER

By no means am I saying there’s anything wrong with trying to make a lot of money. Money doesn’t have to be the root of all evil. I’m capable of incredible kindness and I’m capable of incredible cruelty—money has nothing to do with it. The real question is why am I chasing the money?

MONEY TALKS

It’s cliché to say “Money can’t buy happiness,” it pains me even to type this on my computer. Although there’s a lot more than a hint of truth to it, it might be more appropriate to say: Money can rent happiness, but with a teaser rate, short term lease and penalty for late fees. I guess clichés are clichés for a reason. It only took me two drug and alcohol rehabs, a blown seven figure investment into Fatburger, a short sale of my two million dollar house and damaging the relationship with the mother of my daughter. It was a very expensive lesson, but I’m grateful I got it.

No New Friends…

When I turned forty I declared: No New Friends. I had had enough. I wasn’t interested in meeting new people. As far as friends were concerned; I was at the point where you slyly reach your hand under the table at Thanksgiving dinner and unbutton your button. I was stuffed—the shop was closed. No New Friends…

But I was wrong.

“You throw the word friend around too loosely,” Jenn said to me one day. Actually if I’m being truthful I should say: Jenn said to me many-a-days. But I didn’t know what she meant. If I met someone, we hit it off for fifteen minutes and I knew how to reach them at a later date then I thought we were friends. No? No…

If you want to test this theory out for yourself – and I’m not suggesting you do this – do something really stupid and I mean really really stupid. Then close your eyes, wait thirty seconds and then open them. See how many people stuck around. Those are your friends.

So of course as twisted fate would have it, two weeks after declaring No New Friends I found myself sitting all alone at a picnic table smoking a Newport. I was in a drug and alcohol rehab. And all I wanted was to find at least one friend. Irony?

But when I got out (I make it sound like jail – it’s not) I was disappointed by many—surprised by few. Some of my “friends” weren’t even returning my phone calls. Dude at least fake it and phase me out I thought. But I’m glad they didn’t. What a gift it’s been. I got to start new. I could pick and choose who I let into my life. Yeah there was a lot of trust I had to rebuild with certain people, but that’s what happens when you lie, disappoint and aren’t reliable for several years. But for those who stuck around it was worth the work.

Today I look at friendship differently. All I want to do is surround myself with good people. Jim Rohn, a famous motivational speaker once said: We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. Hmmmm. It makes a lot of sense. It’s the law of averages. So pick whatever kind of person you want to be and surround yourself with those kinds of people. They can be fun, successful, writerly, entrepreneurial or whatever you choose. And then you’ll start to become that person. It works. I promise. Pinky swear.

Recently I wrote a CNBC article about James Altucher. He’s someone I’d like to be like. You might know him from the Wall Street world, as an entrepreneur, an investor, a bestselling author, podcaster, public speaker or social media beast. Or perhaps you don’t know him at all, but you should.

A few weeks ago when I went to interview him I woke up to an email from James: See you soon it said. He gave me his current address because he doesn’t have a home. He lives in random places through Airbnb and has adapted a minimalist lifestyle. He only owns 15 things. Getting his address felt like receiving the secret location to a rave party. The yellow cab dropped me off on Spring Street and I walked the few blocks over to his place. He buzzed me in and I took the elevator up. (While you picture me riding up 4 floors listening to Muzak here’s some backstory.)

I originally met James on the set of Showtime’s series Billions during the filming of the pilot. He was a guest of the executive producers. At the time I didn’t know who he was. I just thought I was sitting next to some eccentric dude with an amazing head of hair. We chatted a bit, knew a few Wall Streeters in common and both had written books. So the conversation flowed naturally and effortlessly. Since then we’ve remained in contact. He even had me on his podcast.

Ding…

The elevator doors opened to a smiling James in a wide open loft. We shook hands and did a quick catch up. It was like applying the grout between Facebook and Twitter. A friend of his was also in the apartment and walked by holding a mug with steam rising from it.

Is it rude to ask for coffee? I really want a cup.

“Take a seat,” James said motioning me to the couch. I plopped down.

Maybe I should suggest making a run to Starbucks. Or is that too obvious?

Instead I pulled out my phone and set it on the coffee table (with no coffee) to record.

“So what do you want to talk about?”

Failure I said. How do you successfully fail?

http://www.cnbc.com/2016/08/25/james-altuchers-7-lessons-from-failure-commentary.html



After the interview I felt inspired, like I wanted to do more. It was like I fed off of his energy. The next thing I did was go home to finish his book: Choose Yourself and it’s just as the title suggests. It’s exactly what I need to hear at the exact moment I needed to hear it. It was very motivating and something I think we all could learn from. It’s all about not waiting for the gatekeepers to give us permission while also reminding us that life is a heavyweight fight with twelve rounds. We’re not going to win every round, but don’t get knocked out. Keep fighting. And he took his own advice; Choose Yourself was self-published and has sold over 600,000 copies. It was named one of the 12 Best Business Books of all time by USA Today. But I’d call it more of a Life Book than a business book.

I really like James. Dare I say friend? I hope so. It feels like we’re heading in that direction. But next time I see him I’m going to bring a coffee and a friendship bracelet. Wish me luck.

Read his book—thank me later.

7 Things I learned about Failure

James Altucher has founded 20 different companies (at last count), ranging from hedge funds to dating websites. He has sold a few for $10 million or more but admits that most of his ventures have failed.

This guy has risen from the ashes so many times he’d make a phoenix jealous.

But failure isn’t as glorious as that analogy might paint it. It’s a gritty, dirty, a bottomless pit.

“Failure really sucks,” Altucher said. “When you fail it’s not like you say, ‘OK, I failed now. I’m here at the bottom.’ There’s no bottom. It feels infinite. It feels like it’s never going to end. It’s just going to get worse and worse.”

But, Altucher, who has been called “the Oprah of the internet” for his sage advice, explains that you can’t just get sucked into sitting at the bottom and wallowing in it.

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Life After Lehman – Leaving Corporate America Behind

Jared Dillian wanted to break up with Corporate America while still having an open relationship with Wall Street. He had flirted with the idea of producing a stock market newsletter for years, but the timing never seemed right. Until one day — timing chose him.

On the morning of Sept. 15, 2008, he boarded his usual bus in New Jersey to take him to midtown Manhattan. He got off at Port Authority and walked the few blocks to his office. And when he arrived at 7 a.m. the building was surrounded by television cameras and reporters. He pushed past the media mob and snuck through the revolving doors. He rode the elevator up to his floor and then walked to his desk. “We just sat there,” he said. “Nobody knew what to do.”

Lehman Brothers, his employer for the last eight years, had just filed for bankruptcy.

Everyone around him thought this was a worst-case scenario, but Dillian, then the head of ETF trading, saw an opportunity for himself. Over the years he had created a cult following with his trading commentary. Every day he’d write a timely interpretation of what was happening in the markets and then send it to his clients. “The highlight of my trading days was to write about the markets. I’d just pound the keyboard whenever it hit me. I loved trading, but it was taking a massive toll on me,” Dillian said. “It was time to start something new.”

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Wall Street is Giving up on Trump

The list of Republican names jumping off the Trump train and publicly endorsing Hillary Clinton is growing. And now, you can add one more to that: Wall Street.

Back in May, I surveyed more than 50 financial professionals across the board. And the overwhelming majority said they were secretly planning on voting for Trump come Election Day. But that was two months ago and now the tides have turned. With the last piece of convention confetti dropped and all of the red and blue balloons popped, I decided to check back in with the financial folks a few days ago. And now, Wall Street is leaning toward Hillary Clinton.

I would say roughly 60 percent of the people I spoke to in my (highly unscientific) poll said if the election were held today, they’d vote for Clinton.

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For the Love of Money

For most people, getting a $3.6 million bonus would be a day to celebrate and high five a bunch of people. For Sam Polk, it made him mad.

Why?

Because it wasn’t enough.

“I wanted more money for exactly the same reason an alcoholic needs another drink: I was addicted,” Polk wrote in a 2014

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Summer Reading List 2016

Ah, summer. A time where many of us stuff a towel, sunscreen and a great book into our weekend bag. Next stop — the beach. So, what’s Wall Street reading? Are they turning the pages for pleasure, like the rest of us, or looking for guidance to navigate this crazy market?

I checked in with over 100 finance professionals and the overwhelming response was: to improve their trading game. Most of the people I spoke with felt that, in the current environment, where job stability is low and market fears are high; they need any edge they can get.

“I’ve been on edge since last August when stocks got taken to the woodshed,” a junior hedge fund trader said. “Where I work is like the ‘Hunger Games.’ I don’t need to read that crap on the beach. I need to step up my game.”

Here’s what’s on Wall Street’s summer reading list:

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Hipsters spotted in the Hamptons

Every year at this time, big money flows from New York City to the Hamptons. Wall Streeters trade in their bespoke suits for Orlebar Brown swim shorts and linen shirts and head to the land of high hedges, exclusive clubs, VIP parties and good, old-fashioned barbecues. It’s the summer sprint that starts at Memorial Day weekend and runs all the way to the finish line of Labor Day.

And this year got off to a blazing fast start.

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Doom seekers: Where Wall Street sees red flags

Traders on Wall Street are always looking for the next land mine. And, despite having eight monitors in front of them, they’re usually just focused on a few indicators that may dictate significant investment decisions.

In 2006, everyone was focused on housing. In 2008, all eyes were on credit which was a major reason for the move down, and in 2011, everyone in the equity markets was fixated on Europe.

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