Justin Blaney's Blog, page 40

352 sit with me and let us quiet together in wait for time to wash over until we are drunk with life

352
sit with me and let us quiet together in wait for time to wash over until we are drunk with life
we have forever
so breathe these old pages deep into your lungs and fill the new with whatever pours from our woven souls

All my books are free forever including, Where Whispers Willow, a collection of 100 reverie, musings and lingering dreams.

 

117 i love the way you squeal and hold me tight when i twist the throttle of my bike

117


i love the way you squeal and hold me tight when i twist the throttle of my bike
and your happy sigh when i corner slowly left and right down a hill
and how you hum softly when you’re happy
and how you want every day to be happy!
and how you adore animals
and how you stop to examine the moss on a sidewalk or tree trunk
or smell a rose growing down among the weeds and trash
and how you’re perfectly honest when you don’t like something and don’t hedge your opinion at all but just say what you think
and your curiosity for people that seems so endless
and how you value everyone, actually believing they are special and unique with their own stories worth knowing
and your curiosity for life’s meaning
and your desire for newness
and the value of beauty
and how you find hidden delights so many have passed over
and how you want our world to stay beautiful
and how you want people, everyone, to have an amazing life
and how you won’t consider working anywhere that doesn’t wholly support your values
and i love that you dream so big, that you’re not satisfied with where you are, that you want more and you’re willing to do what it takes to get it
and i love how hard working you are
that you are the best employee in your company
i love how you don’t want clutter in your life
how you will do anything to preserve minimalism in your life
i love how you read at the library instead of buying books
and i love that you don’t want to inconvenience people because of your choice to not have a car
so much that even if your phone dies and you have to walk dark alleys alone, you’d rather take two hours to get home on the bus than ask a friend for a ride
and i love that you think of the bus as a roller coaster and tour guide
and a chance to meet new people
and i love that you ask me questions and listen
and do things for me that i’ve said i like
i love that you think so different
i love that you ask me to help you grow
i love how you treat me with such care
i love how you have seen me
and how you have approved of what you’ve seen

i love the mystery of you, all the parts i don’t know
i love the shape of you pressed against my back, so perfectly light and soft in every way
i love the smell of you, your shimmering scents that soak me through and pull me in
i love your thighs, so tempting to tickle or massage
i love the thought of earning your trust to my touch
then moving slowly into your invitation
i love your form in every way, your arms and wrists, so strong and feminine and delicate and inviting of tenderness and slowness and carefulness and close adoration
and your neck that begs me with constant pleasing tension to brush my face upon it and find softness with my lips and inhale your essence and the power of your soul
and the closeness of you, drawing me up or down, never to stay too long, but to move forward, to release, to give in to the pleasure
and since i know you incompletely, in this moment i would choose to move up past your tender cheeks and first to the corners of your lips before fully meeting you so soft you’re not sure we even kissed
yes i love your lips, like a painted lily pulling me in with such scent and taste i know not what has come over me
though i may try to ignore the color and shape and softness that begs me to meet you in the small space between us, i find it impossible to think of little else
and to see you first thing in the morning before the red is painted, to see the true you and to taste who you are stripped of all, the pureness of you which must be so strong i’d have to take you in portions so as to not explode from your fires poured out upon me
and yet even this would be incomplete without that comes from wholly gazing into your soul through your vanquishing eyes, flecks of blue and ice, where galaxies make their wonder known, the haunting of every moment apart from you
i stare never too long for the power of you released on me in every second of connection is enough to command the marching of my armies into the sea and the burning of my life’s collection and the turning from my every dream
and in these moments i’m sure we are the only two people alive on this earth and the only two people who have ever lived
and in these moments i’m sure life is only possible in the shadow of your gaze and that every second i lived before you was not really living at all, but merely the ticking of a clock before the first page began
so gaze upon me now, and let us live forever

All my books are free forever including, Where Whispers Willow, a collection of 100 reverie, musings and lingering dreams.

 

101 good morning emptiness i slept in again

101

good morning emptiness
i slept in again
this lost soul of mine unable to rise
for fear of the dark pools that lay at the foot of my bed and stretch out as far as i have traveled
i am scorched and alone
sending a letter out
a beacon
a flare among the stars
above forsaken earth
to call you, i hope
another lost one
if you are out there
half buried in graves
not sure what is worth fighting for

maybe like you
breathing used to come easier
before this all happened
i had no friends with which to ponder
save those long dead
who were thoughtful enough to leave a few words behind
i had no muse
no companion of inspiration
no one to laugh at the world with
no one to make me cry
or feel something
fucking anything
i had no lover
no warmth for my body to intertwine
no one to look upon my exposed heart
to know me and be known
and find me perfectly pleasing
i had no resting place
where i may lay my bones
and find shelter from life’s hatred

until one day i stumbled upon a spring
a lush reprieve in the vast endless dunes
and from one sunrise to another
i had a friend, a muse, a lover, a safe heart
for seven blissful seasons
but fall was stolen from me
stolen by her own choice
by someone who promised to never hurt me
even by god
and now i’m even more alone
i was better before
before i tasted pure light
before i sat at a table filled with life
and i can never forget
the way it filled me
so how dammit
my question for you, dear void
how can i go back to dusty waterless horizons
stretching ever before me

my lost ones
this is why i must reach you
whoever you are
do you have the strength to rise from your graves
join in my suffering
and then perhaps
we shall no longer feel alone
you and i, dark void

All my books are free forever including, Where Whispers Willow, a collection of 100 reverie, musings and lingering dreams.

 

131 most days it feels i’m rejected a dozen times before my morning coffee is done

131
most days it feels i’m rejected a dozen times before my morning coffee is done
and over the years, i was often hurt by this fact
yet upon further reflection i’ve realized i’m in good company
artists and inventors and revolutionaries and romantics tend be ignored or written off or forgotten more than most
and no one in all history has heard no more, had more doors slammed in the face, or collected more spit in the eye
than the one who created this place
so now, rather than collecting hurt when i am rejected
i count myself fortunate to share something in common with such a crowd

All my books are free forever including, Where Whispers Willow, a collection of 100 reverie, musings and lingering dreams.

 

134 i love finding a letter from you in the mail

134

i love finding a letter from you in the mail
like when rain beats on the tin roof all night
and dark clouds hang low outside a weeping window pane
but to find when i open the door
a painted sky and shining sun and perfect day with you await me

All my books are free forever including, Where Whispers Willow, a collection of 100 reverie, musings and lingering dreams.

 

114 i am not being dramatic, i’m not being careless, i am not being thoughtless

114
i am not being dramatic, i’m not being careless, i am not being thoughtless
i have considered with great care each of these words
after much consideration and much emotion and all my heart, i know this is true, as true as anything i know, as true as i trust gravity to keep this body from floating away into the clouds, i trust this truth
you are my perfect match
you are my one and only
no one more perfectly meets my soul
you and i together are as close to perfection as two joined humans can be
as perfectly bound as two have ever been
god, in a single breath, formed two hearts, placing you and i in different times and places, yet twins of a single hope
knowing how much happiness would come from us discovering each other for ourselves
as if serendipity had anything to do with it
but in truth, there was never a chance of keeping us apart

All my books are free forever including, Where Whispers Willow, a collection of 100 reverie, musings and lingering dreams.

 

112 i stare through the window of a room built on sticks above chiseled waters that have never been still and never will be

112
i stare through the window of a room built on sticks above chiseled waters that have never been still and never will be
this glass holds back the wind and church
luring me into a false sense of safety
the inky beast never sleeps
ever calling me to slip into its belly where i may give my life so others can live
this creature never changing and never the same
drinking mountains dry
spinning liquid depths into angels
a mouth to swallow whales and canyons and silver and human ambition
where life has been given for futures and names made
and here am i
believing i’m safe for the quarter inch of melted sand that stands between me and this eternal greedy sea

All my books are free forever including, Where Whispers Willow, a collection of 100 reverie, musings and lingering dreams.

 

127 i’m a broken man a mess of a project

127
i’m a broken man
a mess of a project
seeking a soul repairer
patient and kind and tender
to help put back together
the pieces of me

All my books are free forever including, Where Whispers Willow, a collection of 100 reverie, musings and lingering dreams.

 

317 you are the world’s greatest cuddler

317
you are the world’s greatest cuddler

All my books are free forever including, Where Whispers Willow, a collection of 100 reverie, musings and lingering dreams.

 

311 you are my flooded streets and icy fields

311
you are my flooded streets and icy fields and dew covered baseball dugouts and shivering ducks bathing in overflowing streams
you are my stolen jeans and dirty chai and friends laughing in the car because i had to see you one more time before you drove away
you are my perfectly fit hands and warmest skin and delicious scent i’ll never forget
you are my deepest thoughts and butterfly knots and how my breath caught in my chest when you ran to me
you are my first kiss of winter

All my books are free forever including, Where Whispers Willow, a collection of 100 reverie, musings and lingering dreams.