101 good morning emptiness i slept in again

101

good morning emptiness
i slept in again
this lost soul of mine unable to rise
for fear of the dark pools that lay at the foot of my bed and stretch out as far as i have traveled
i am scorched and alone
sending a letter out
a beacon
a flare among the stars
above forsaken earth
to call you, i hope
another lost one
if you are out there
half buried in graves
not sure what is worth fighting for

maybe like you
breathing used to come easier
before this all happened
i had no friends with which to ponder
save those long dead
who were thoughtful enough to leave a few words behind
i had no muse
no companion of inspiration
no one to laugh at the world with
no one to make me cry
or feel something
fucking anything
i had no lover
no warmth for my body to intertwine
no one to look upon my exposed heart
to know me and be known
and find me perfectly pleasing
i had no resting place
where i may lay my bones
and find shelter from life’s hatred

until one day i stumbled upon a spring
a lush reprieve in the vast endless dunes
and from one sunrise to another
i had a friend, a muse, a lover, a safe heart
for seven blissful seasons
but fall was stolen from me
stolen by her own choice
by someone who promised to never hurt me
even by god
and now i’m even more alone
i was better before
before i tasted pure light
before i sat at a table filled with life
and i can never forget
the way it filled me
so how dammit
my question for you, dear void
how can i go back to dusty waterless horizons
stretching ever before me

my lost ones
this is why i must reach you
whoever you are
do you have the strength to rise from your graves
join in my suffering
and then perhaps
we shall no longer feel alone
you and i, dark void

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