Ruth Buchanan's Blog, page 35

How to Make Life ALL ABOUT YOU!

As you spin through your solar system on this tiny blue marble, sometimes it's easy to feel alone.  But you are not alone.  Not by a long shot. According to recent data, nearly seven billion people inhabit the earth along with you.1
SEVEN.  BILLION.
That's quite a lot.  
I mean.... think about it. Seven billion other humanoids whose thoughts, ideas, opinions, lifestyle choices, likes, and dislikes are very likely different from yours. 
I don't know about you, but I f...

Sometimes We're All That Person

Yesterday being Saturday, I found myself wandering the stacks of my local library.  Due to time constraints, I'd only allowed myself a half an hour for book selection. With the clock ticking, I skimmed spines, flicked open covers to peruse blurbs, and slowly accumulated a trio of books in the crook of my left arm.
So far so good.
Then, suddenly, I became That Person.  
I started off small by dropping a book, which fell to the ground with a sharp thwack! As I leaned to pick the boo...

How to Handle Jet Lag

One of the worst side effects to travel would have to be jet lag1

In the unlikely event that you've never actually experienced jet lag, allow me to inform you as to what it feels like. You will be going about your business in the middle of the day, when suddenly, you will hit an invisible wall.  Words will stop making sense, all of the thoughts you've ever had will fall out of your head, and your skeleton turns to jelly. Even if, moments before, you had been fully engaged in a stimulating...

How to Prepare for an International Trip

Many of you in the know are aware that I'm headed overseas tomorrow to attend my friends' wedding.1  My students, however, are in ignorance of this fact. They're in blissfully unaware that when they show up for school next week, they'll be greeted by a dreaded substitute.2
With all of the work that must be invested ahead of time for a teacher to miss a week of classes in the middle of the school year (and it's a LOT), I've put off actually doing anything to get myself ready for the trip u...

How to Respond to the Realization that Your Neighbor May, in Fact, Be a Serial Killer (Formerly Known as a 'Mass Murderer')

So.
You've done your research. You've read the signs. You've figured out that your neighbor shows Serial Killer or Serial-Killer-Like Tendencies! Knowing how vital it is for you to proceed with caution, I have put together this little post in order--I hope--to help prolong your life.
Incidentally, even if you haven't come to suspect that your neighbor may be a serial killer, it's probably in your best interest to take these tips to heart anyway. Because sometimes serial killers blend in. S...

How to Tell if Your Neighbor is a Serial Killer

During the course of my vast criminology research,1 I'm often shocked not only at the gruesomeness of the crimes committed (and what these crimes says about the human condition), but also at how often a brutal killer's friends, neighbors, and even family members lived seemingly in complete ignorance of the killer's true nature.
Hence, the need for this blog post.2
How to Tell if Your Neighbor is a Serial Killer:
1. He is male. You can't argue with statistics. Nearly every single serial killer, e...

How to Overcome Writer's Block in Twenty Simple Steps

1. Clutch at hair in impotent fury.
2. Roar like a dinosaur.
3. Do a few lines that look like this: JFKDL:SJFL:KSDJF:LDSJFLKD:SFDJSL:
4. Delete them.
5. Write some actual words.
6. Glare at them.
7. Decide that the words you've just written look weird. Wonder why spell check hasn't underlined them in red. Question whether you have written actual English.
8. Try crossing one eye to see if that makes the words look more normal.
9. Hit backspace rhythmically until the weird-looking words disappear.
10. D...

How to Join the Conversation

You will be happy to know that one of this blog's best features--one that was originally only open to a narrow slice of its readership--is now available to ALL.

*drumroll*
We are now not only accepting TOPIC REQUESTS for three of our recent popular series ("How to"; "Reasons Why"; "Talking Back") but we are also willing to consider adding a NEW, READER-SUGGESTED SERIES as well.
I say "we" because--and here comes MORE exciting news--we will soon be featuring a few posts from GUEST BLOGG...

How to Hit on a Woman (If You Want to Stay Single Forever)

It's not that women don't like to be noticed. It's not that they don't like to be found attractive. It's not even that they mind being talked to by strangers, necessarily.  
It's just that the experience of being hit on is often so awkward and fraught with ridiculousness. Actually, whether you're the one being hit on or the one attempting the hitting, I'm sure you would find little to quibble with in that last sentence. Barring rare occurrences, hitting on someone and being hit on general...

This Is Just to Say (II)

another response to William Carlos Williams1

I have doodled
the photo
that was on the counter

and which
you were probably
giving
to grandma

Forgive me
you were vanilla
too plain
and too smug

______________________________
In response to This Is Just to Say