Jonelle Patrick's Blog, page 20
October 20, 2019
The Most Only-In-Japan Halloween Costumes Ever
Tired of being the same old sexy skunk or slightly NSFW goose in a tutu for Halloween? Keep your fellow costume partiers guessing with these only-in-Japan puzzlers!
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However much mini-skirted shrine maidens might figure in cosplay fantasies, you can be sure this will be the first time everyone actually sees one IRL
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And if you’re shooting for for sexy AND inexplicable, fellow revelers might guess Japanese Olympic skating costume, but only true Japanese history wonks will guess Modern Oiran!
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Or you can sort the true popcult mavens from the wannabes by dressing as everyone’s favorite gachapon capsule toy: the Office Lady Cup Sitter
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If you’re more of a life-of-the-party type, those who have ever been to a Japanese office drinking party will be happy to see a giant flask of sake coming their way
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For a costume that’s guaranteed to start a million conversations, why not show up as everyone’s favorite Japanese food ingredient: a giant green onion? If you can believe the package, this is guaranteed to baffle even Japanese Halloweenies
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And if you’re out to meet other comic book aficionados, separate those who think they know Japanese manga and anime characters from the real deal by wearing this Daddy Eyeball Monster hood
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Last but certainly not least, they tried to disguise this too-Japanese costume as ho-hum “Devil Tights” but it’s clear to anyone who’s spent any time at all in Japan, that this guy is a dead ringer for a kabutomushi: the famous gigantic Japanese beetle pets
I found these at the always-entertaining Don Kihote megastore in Shibuya (here’s a map). And if you still haven’t hit on your dream costume, you can always check out what the peeing statue is wearing for Halloween this year, or if you’re really desperate, Costumes I Would Regret.
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October 16, 2019
Tokyo Cake Show: So Gorgeous, So Japanese
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How can you tell a professional baking conference is in Tokyo? Because among the fantasy wedding cakes, there’s a Shinto shrine wedding, complete with marzipan bride and groom.
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From the roof tiles, to the torii gate tunnel, it’s pretty clear that this loving couple isn’t getting married in Winchester Cathedral
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That pink cake is 100% Girls’ Day themed, right down to the the traditional orders of the Imperial Court: emperor & empress at the top, shrine maidens next, musicians below them, and household goods on the bottom
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And as if that wasn’t enough, the frosting and piped chocolate mimic the folded silk flowers used in hair ornaments and the dangling stuffed toy mobiles that fancy up the house for Girls’ Day
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The tsumami zaiku (folded silk flowers) make another appearance on the cake that’s third from the left, beyond the shrine wedding
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Feast your eyes on this gorgeous handiwork, and marvel at the perfection of the delicate airbrush shading
And then there was the “marzipan cake” category.
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Basically, the cake is just an excuse for the decorations to exist
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A jolly work of edible art for Childrens’ Day (which used to be called Boys’ Day), the holiday that’s famous for flying traditional koi nobori flags
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And here’s one that manages to capture every aspect of partying with the gods at the annual neighborhood shrine festival
But the Japanese themes didn’t stop with the cakes – check out these king-sized decorations made of chocolate. And when I say they’re big, I dare you to find the normal-sized cake layer included in the design so these could remotely qualify as something you’d expect to see at a cake show. Makes those birthday cake roses I always coveted (DON’T JUDGE) look positively restrained.
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A samurai rider sculpted from a boatload of, yes, pure chocolate
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Even weirder, a nine-tailed fox menacing all who might seek to allow the bad luck confined in the collection of ritual shrine amulets to escape their protection
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The universal comfort food was, of course, also represented in the competition for the most want-worthy chocolate box sets, which each had their own mini-sculpture. This one is a bake-neko, like the ones famously cosplayed in the annual Cat Ghost parade
And then there were the pure, unadulterated sugar sculptures. These didn’t even bother with the cake, so you can’t tell how big they were from the photos. I’ll tell you, though: these weren’t no dainty knick-knacks. They were, like, over a foot tall. Or more. And if you’ve ever tried (and failed) to make the world’s most beautiful lollipops, you’d be boggling at how perfectly (and speedily) these artists pulled and rolled and snipped and spun the hot melted sugar in the few short moments before it hardens.
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From ribbons & roses…
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…to koi & chrysanthemums…
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…to an homage to the hedgehog cafe fad…
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…and an ode to Japanese-style pasta. So many things I did not know you could do with sugar
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And just in case you thought those were too much of a muchness, they were dwarfed by the grandest category of sugar sculptures, which could only be called outrageous. How many kilos of sugar went into this Eve being tempted in the Garden of Eden? Judging by the size of the token cake layer at the bottom, A LOT
And finally, there was this odd ugly stepsister competition category, which actually might be the most poignantly Japanese of all. These desserts were all made with rice flour.
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These look kind of earnest and drab, but if you ignore the over-the-top frippery all around, they look more like something you’d actually want to eat
In the West, this would be the “gluten free” category, but that’s not the major reason for encouraging Japanese patissiers to bake with rice flour. The gig economy has come to Japan, along with long working hours, two income households, and no time to cook. The sad truth is, rice consumption has been falling precipitously as people opt for bread instead, so there’s a national push to support the rice farmers by using rice flour to bake with, instead of wheat.
There were two more floors of the show, but they were given over to cooking demonstrations (on the 7th) and trade show booths (on the 4th).
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Vendors selling everything from flavored chocolate to cookie pressing machines have booths on the 4th floor, so professional bakers can order everything they need to make these
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And now, of course, there’s nothing I want to do more than run to the nearest department store food hall and EAT CAKE
This is the first time I’ve been to this show, but move over, Tokyo International Quilt Festival, I’m adding the Tokyo Cake Show to my list of fabulous, surprisingly Japanese, eye-candy events.
Lucky Tokyo peeps: you can still catch the Tokyo Cake Show through today (October 17, 2019.
Its on the 4th-7th floors of the Tokyo Metropolitan Industrial Trade Center Taitokan. 4th floor: trade show booths; 5th floor: Wedding cakes, chocolate sculptures, sugar sculptures, rice flour cakes; 6th floor: Marzipan cakes; 7th floor: baking/decorating demonstrations, cake & coffee set cafe
Address: 2 Chome-6-5 Hanakawado (it’s about a five minute walk from the Senso-ji temple in Asakusa)
Admission: ¥1500
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October 15, 2019
This Year’s Burning October Question: What’s The Peeing Statue Wearing For Halloween?
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I had to go check to make sure that the best-dressed nude statue in Tokyo made it through the typhoon safely. And he did! Not only that, he already knows what he’s going to be for Halloween.
But…huh?
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Retro-70s disco witch?
As you can see, “witch” costumes in Japan are subject to the same considerable creative interpretation that has spawned so many creative acts of Santa blasphemy.
I checked back for a historical overview, and was sort of surprised. Here are his October togs since they started dressing him in the year 2000:
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As you can see, October in Japan isn’t always about zombie nurses, sexy skunks and costumes that turn you into everyone’s favorite Asian despot. In fact, weirdly enough, October isn’t even the month in which he wears his most outlandish costumes. Sometimes the volunteers responsible for clothing the little nudist who lives at the very end of Hamamatsucho Station’s Shibuya-bound platform like to celebrate a good, old-fashioned, bountiful harvest and autumn shrine festivals too.
But the biggest takeaway is that none of us has to stress about what to wear on Halloween for one second longer: magenta cape, matching hat, jack-o-lantern wand, squirt bottle, DONE.
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October 13, 2019
Typhoon Aftermath
That’s how high the Tama River was yesterday, near Futako-Tamagawa Station
Today when I woke up, it was hot and sunny. It didn’t seem possible that twelve hours ago, the biggest typhoon in sixty years was raging through Tokyo. So I went out to take a look at one of the places that had been evacuated – a neighborhood next to the Tama River.
The left map below is what the sleepy Tama-gawa is usually like – a narrow band of water, lined with parks and soccer fields, picnic grounds and baseball diamonds. On the right is how it looked during the typhoon. The river spread out to its farthest banks, and then some, flooding basement apartments and shops along the street that runs alongside it.
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Two days ago, these were soccer fields
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Two days ago, this was a park
I found a few pictures of the area on the net, and although they’re not taken from the same angle, you can get the idea of how much the place changed after Typhoon Hagibis had its little rampage.
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Hyogojima Park
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That’s the same little bridge. See how those trees sticking up on slightly higher ground are right in the middle of what’s now a very muddy rushing river?
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On the other side of the bridge, the path slopes down to a running course that used to be well inland. See the debris wrapped around the fenceposts? Those posts were underwater yesterday.
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In fact, you can see yesterday’s waterline, because this debris was floating on the surface as the river jumped its banks. The guy in the white t-shirt walking down the ramp would have been wet up to his fundoshi last night
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Everything that wasn’t swept away was turned into creepy haystocks
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And lots of uprooted trees point the way downstream
But it wasn’t all doom and gloom. Only in the aftermath of a heckin’ huge typhoon, can kids go FISHING in sidewalk puddles.
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But what are they catching?
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These. They’e scooping up the little brown fish you see swimming there by its not so lucky compadre
Oh, and by the way, I learned something. I kept reassuring people that even though it looked scary on the weather maps, it wasn’t a hurricane, it was just a typhoon. Which I think of as a rainstorm that didn’t skip leg day at the gym.
But…I was wrong! Turns out, the only difference between a hurricane and a typhoon is that hurricanes originate in the North Atlantic, and typhoons originate in the Northwest Pacific. Cyclones (I’ll tell you for free), are the same storm, but hail from the South Pacific and mostly wreak havoc in that other hemisphere.
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And therein lies a nugget of useful wisdom amid this spectacularly Instagrammable disaster: most of the time, being in the middle of something that looks like the end of the world isn’t like that at all. Even the biggest typhoon to hit Tokyo in sixty years just felt like a heavy rainstorm with a side of annoying wind. The only hardship 99.9% of us suffered is that we had to soldier through without our iced lattes.
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October 11, 2019
In Which We Report On Being Hammered By Typhoon Hagibis In Tokyo
This is from the most awesome weather watch site on the net, windy.com. That’s Typhoon Hagibis (which I inexplicably keep wanting to call Typhoon Haggis) approaching Tokyo with a vengeance
FRIDAY
Pre-typhoon festivities:
At Meidi-ya (the swanky “Japanese” supermarket): Lines fifteen deep with bulging baskets as every Japanese person in my neighborhood panic-buys foods that still qualify as gourmet without cooking or refrigeration.
Meanwhile, at National Azabu (the “foreign foods” supermarket): Business as usual (except with rather more wine bottles in the baskets ahead of me), as foreign residents shrug “typhoon, schmyfoon.”
We’ll see who looks like fools tomorrow.
Later: Had to return to National on account of being peer-pressured into buying candles and a lighter. Produce section was stripped bare, except for cartons of cut pineapple and expensive organic carrots. Meat section was likewise empty, save for a few lonely lunchmeat packets. Wine aisle seriously depleted.
First world typhoon problem: The only candles I could find are so aggressively scented that I’m praying I never have to light them because they’re already stinking up my room.
SATURDAY
08:31: Right after I took this video, the garbage truck wheeled up and whisked away the trash. Nevermind the biggest typhoon in sixty years bearing down on the city, IT’S TRASH DAY. Japan may have its flaws, but shirking on the garbage collection just because of a little Category Five cyclone ain’t one of them.
09:22: Big Brother admonishes us about the storm.
The loudspeakers that are usually only employed to broadcast my neighborhood’s time-to-go-home-for-dinner tune are now blaring warnings about the typhoon. You know, in case you’ve been in a sensory deprivation tank for the past week and didn’t sense that’s what these buckets of rain are all about #Hagibis #yourtaxesatwork
10:57: Everything’s closed? It sounded like the rain was letting up a bit, so I ventured outside to stave off cabin fever. What I found out: The typhoon gods live for those moments when they can lure you outside and show you the real meaning of the word “deluge.”
Plus, I got soaked for nothing, because everything was closed. Shops, banks, both supermarkets, even the…
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A true sign of the apocalypse
When even the coffee chain from the city that wrote the book on “you call this rain?” is locked and sandbagged, you know that some serious weather is coming your way.
But wait! A beacon in the darkness. The convenience stores are open!
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Through rain, through sleet, through dark of night…
Alas. Abandon hope, all ye who enter here.
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Inside, they all pretty much look like this
Tea, coffee and ice cream are apparently not the comfort foods people turn to in a crisis in Japan. They’d done serious damage to the granola bars, heat ‘n eat lunches, and canned cocktails, though.
On the way home, the first victim.
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Patient Zero. By this time tomorrow, it will be an epidemic. They’ll have to bring out the special trucks that go around after typhoons, picking them up
11:37: They’ve switched to a female voice for the blaring disaster warning
Which is somehow scarier than when the man does his Captain Obvious thing about staying inside when the typhoon really hits. In case you’re a typhoon virgin, I’ll tell you that this rain is just the warm-up band. It’s the high winds that are supposed to arrive when the cyclone makes landfall tonight that everyone is saving their glowsticks for. Conservative estimates are for 158 kph/98mph windspeeds, so get ready to rock.
15:14: Looks like most subway lines are stopped or busing people between sections in danger of flooding or other hazards
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Mine is still running, but glowing with discouraging red sections
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Naturally, I had to whip over and check the page for the Oedo Line, which is the subway line everyone shudders and says “I wouldn’t ride that line during a typhoon” because it’s so deep underground. If the train got stopped for any reason, climbing to the surface would be like attempting to extricate yourself from the orc pits of Mordor. Yep, utterly shut down.
17:02: Phone scares the pants off me with loud bing-bonging government warning that the Tamagawa river is in danger of flooding (so get the hell out of there if you live nearby). Which I don’t. Whew. Back to the Netflix.
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I’m going to keep updating this all day, so if you’re interested, check back!
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October 2, 2019
Dahlia Bonanza At The Toshogu Shrine
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Every fall, this exquisitely curated exhibition happens at the Toshogu Shrine in Ueno Park, at the same place that hosts the eye-popping peony specimens in May.
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This “garden” only exists for a few weeks every year, when the patiently nurtured dahlias are coaxed into bloom by their owners and brought to the shrine
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Each plant has its own parasol
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…to keep the blossoms fresh for as long as possible
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So many kinds I’ve never seen before!
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Some are frothy hybrids
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…and others are brilliantly simple
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Even the parasols get into the act, with patterns and colors that complement the flowers
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This was the best ¥500 I’ve spent in a long time!
If you haven’t got your dahlia fix quite yet, check out the beauties from when I went to this sam exhibit two years ago: In The Japanese Dahlia Garden
The Dahlia Garden is at the Ueno Toshogu Shrine in Ueno Park
Open: Every day, from September 28 – October 27 (2019)
Hours: 9:30 – 16:30
Admission: ¥500
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September 28, 2019
The Eleven Strangest Shrines In Tokyo
Tokyo is stuffed with gorgeous shrines and temples, but some of the gods who are petitioned there have hilarious and entertaining specialties! Here are the ones dedicated to my favorite kami-sama and how to snag some of their favor for yourself:
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THE WART SHRINE (at Nishiarai Daishi Temple)
Resident kami-sama’s superpower: Curing warts
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How to get your warts cured:Throw a coin in the offering box, bow, pick up a handful of the salt surrounding the Jizo figure, rub it on the offending area, throw it back on the pile, bow again
More to see nearby:
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THE TIED-UP SAINT (Shibarare Jizo, at Nanzō-in Temple)
Resident kami-sama’s superpower: Saving your bacon from a tricky situation
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How to ask the Shibarare Jizo to get you out of a pickle:Throw a ¥100 coin in the offering box, put your hands together and ask for what you need, choose a piece of rope from the rack, tie it around the figure. When your wish is granted, return to the temple and toss in another ¥100 coin, thank the Shibarare Jizo, untie one of the ropes on the figure, toss it into one of the wooden baskets near the altar
More to see nearby:
Mizumoto Park (especially delightful during iris season)
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THE COMIC BOOK SHRINE (Kanda Myōjin)
Resident kami-sama’s superpower: Boosting the careers of anime and comic book artists
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How to ask the gods to help you become a successful artist:Buy a wooden prayer plaque (ema) at the shrine store window (in the building to the left of the main sanctuary), pen your wish on the back, draw something awesome, hang it on one of the racks.
More to see nearby:
Akihabara • Aki-Oka Artisan Co-op
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THE MATCHMAKING SHRINE (Imado Shrine)
Resident kami-sama’s superpower: Finding that perfect someone
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How to ask the gods to find you the perfect girlfriend/boyfriend: Buy a wooden prayer plaque (ema) at the shrine store window, pen your wish on the back, hang it on the rack. When your wish is granted, return to the shrine and do the same thing again to thank them.
More to see nearby:
Asakusa Area • Kappabashi Area • Inari-cho Area • The most beautiful lollipops in the world
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THE SINGLE WORD SHRINE (Hitokoto Jizo, at Gokoku-ji Temple)
Resident kami-sama’s superpower: Granting any request that can be made with only one word
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How to ask the Hitocoto Jizo to grant your heartfelt wish: Feed a coin into the offering box. Clap your hands twice. Fold your hands and bow your head and say the word. Bow again.
Tell me more!
More to see nearby:
Gokoku-ji Temple
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THE LOST CAT SHRINE (Tachikawa Suiten-gu)
Resident kami-sama’s superpower: Returning lost cats to their owners
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More to see nearby:
Showa Kinen Park, especially good in: March (cherry blossoms), April (azaleas and tulips), May (fields of poppies), September (fields of cosmos), October & November (fall leaves)
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THE HAIR SHRINE (at the Oji Shrine)
Resident kami-sama’s superpower: Smiling upon the careers of hairstyists, Kabuki and Noh stage actors & wig makers, and restoring thinning hair to its youthful glory
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How to enlist the good hair gods to smile upon your tresses, receding hairline, and/or career: Toss a coin into the offering box. Bow and clap twice. Fold your hands and bow your head. Make a wish. Bow again.
More to see nearby:
Koshinzuka Street Market (especially good on the 4th, 14th and 24th of the month)
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THE FOX SHRINE (Sasuke Inari)
Resident kami-sama’s superpower: Granting big wishes (this is a famed power spot), especially wishes having to do with business success/prosperity
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How to enlist the fox gods to shower prosperity upon you: Buy a set of fox figures at the shrine shop. Hike up the path, and when you see a setting that feels right to you, nestle your foxes into the scene, fold your hands, and make your wish. Leave them there to work their magic.
More to see nearby:
Kamakura Day Trip • The Money-Washing Shrine • The Dish-Breaking Shrine • The biggest Buddha in Japan • Hasedera (especially amazing when the hydrangeas bloom in June) • Tsurugaoka Hachiman-gu Shrine
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THE DISH-BREAKING SHRINE (Kamakura-gu)
Resident kami-sama’s superpower: Banishing negative people from your life
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How to get rid of negative people in your life: Put ¥100 in the offering box. Take a dish. Walk around to the place with two big rocks surrounded by pottery shards. Stand before one of the rocks and wish for the negative person to be gone from your life. Throw the dish as hard as you can against the rock. If it doesn’t break, buy another one and try again. Rinse, repeat.
More to see nearby:
Kamakura Day Trip • The Money-Washing Shrine • The Fox Shrine • The biggest Buddha in Japan • Hasedera (especially amazing when the hydrangeas bloom in June) • Tsurugaoka Hachiman-gu Shrine
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THE MONEY-WASHING SHRINE (Zeni-arai Benten)
Resident kami-sama’s superpower: Doubling your money within the year
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How to double your money in the next year: Pay ¥100 to the monk manning the window at the shrine shop, and take an empty basket from the stack in front. Put the money you want to double in the basket. Enter the cave to your left and wait your turn to dip some water from the stream and pour it over your money. Let your money air dry (don’t try to dry it over the burning incense in the urn, or it might go up in smoke instead!)
More to see nearby:
Kamakura Day Trip • The Dish-Breaking Shrine • The Fox Shrine • The biggest Buddha in Japan • Hasedera (especially amazing when the hydrangeas bloom in June) • Tsurugaoka Hachiman-gu Shrine
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And finally, just because shrines can’t have all the fun…
THE FIRE CEREMONY TEMPLE (Fukugawa Fudo-san)
Resident kami-sama’s superpower: Boosting your prosperity in the coming year
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How to wish for prosperity at a fire ceremony: Take a seat in the upper gallery reserved for onlookers (rather than the seats reserved for participants in the middle). Wait for the part of the service where the priest issues an invitation for anyone to bring their wallet or purse down to be blessed by the flames. Follow the other petitioners down to the priest and hand him your wallet/purse when it’s your turn.
More to see nearby:
Monzen-Nakacho Area, especially great in March and April (cherry blossoms) • Fukagawa-Edo Museum • Kiyosumi Teien Garden
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September 22, 2019
Intellectual Animal Beauty Masks
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By now you probably thought you’d seen it all when it comes to Japanese facial sheet masks – from the squicky & scary to skin treatments that turn you into a kabuki actor while they work their magic – but now you can look like the world’s smartest animal while battling those crows’ feet!
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Whether your intellectual spirit animal is a kitteh…
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…or you’re more of the Fido type (Unless this is a bear. Or a dog cosplaying as a bear. Or a bear cosplaying as a dog. Anything is possible.)
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These eye masks have got the animal kingdom covered (although I’m still puzzling over that middle design – shiba? fox? You decide!)
Saw these at Tokyu Hands in Shibuya. If you’d like to check them out (as well as other crazy things they sell there) the next time you’re in Tokyo, a map is on my website, The Tokyo Guide I Wish I’d Had.
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When not attempting to beautify herself in weird ways, Jonelle Patrick writes novels set in Tokyo
Nine Years. Nine death anniversaries. Tomorrow will be the tenth. He always comes early to avoid crossing paths with her family. He always comes on the day he actually killed her…read more
September 12, 2019
Giant Paper Lanterns On Wheels
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Usually you’d have to hie yourself all the way up to rural Aomori* to catch a glimpse of these epic glowing floats, but lucky for me, last fall I happened across an outpost of the Nebuta Festival right in my own backyard! For some mysterious reason, six of the outrageously great floats were swanning down the shopping street near Nakanobu Station (yeah, I’d never gotten off there before either!) in mid-September, and they did not disappoint.
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Warriors no less fierce because they’re made out of paper
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His banner reads “Nakanobu Nebuta Festival” – proof that these aren’t just borrowed finery
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You can get an idea of big these things are YIKES the signs on either side were in danger
The grandaddy of all Nebuta festivals takes place on its home turf in Aomori at the beginning of August, but this mini version happens every two years in Tokyo, on the Nakanobu shopping street near Nakanobu Station. The next one will happen in September 2020, so plan ahead!
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The next best thing to dancing in the streets at a festival is reading a novel set in Tokyo
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For nine years, Tokyo Detective Kenji Nakamura thought his mother’s death was an accident. Then he gets a call, and his life begins to unravel. Because if it wasn’t an accident…what was it? Read more
September 4, 2019
I Saw Another New Wild Animal In Tokyo!
There I was, drinking in the serene green at the Kiyosumi Garden…
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(Where, I might add, the herons on the far island were prancing around doing the “my genes are better than yours” dance)
…when I nearly stepped on this.
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It’s a Northern Chinese Softshell turtle, and if Wikipedia is right, this one is setting the standard for maximum bigness
It’s (weirdly) classified as “invasive” (because China) and “threatened.” Which shouldn’t surprised me, after hearing what Japanese visitors talk about at the aquarium. In these here parts, this unlikely snack is better known as suppon.
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Seriously, does this face look even remotely edible to you?
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When not being squicked out by the idea of eating a heckin’ huge, beady-eyed turtle, Jonelle Patrick writes novels set in Tokyo
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For nine years, Tokyo Detective Kenji Nakamura thought his mother’s death was an accident. Then he gets a call, and his life begins to unravel…Read more
