Pamela Reynolds's Blog, page 31

I AM DETERMINED TO STOP TAKING THINGS FOR GRANTED

"Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted."  Aldous Huxley
I was thinking about how many little things are done for me by others. It made me realize what a great support system I have and how little I have  respected it or was grateful. I didn't want to feel guilty which only sucks energy so I began to mull it over instead. I thought about how many times others call to check on me or my family, or offer to help me do things I can't handle myself. I thought about birthday cards surprise visits and friendly texts or e-mails. When I mention I am having a bad  time at that moment in my life I am surrounded with support. It may not always come exactly the way I planned but it refreshes soothes and turns my day around. The mail person who waits for me to walk to  my box instead of  tossing it in because I am still far down my driveway took the time to acknowledge me as a person. The person in the grocery store who got me another carriage so my bags wouldn't spill out and then got a person from the store to wheel out the second carriage was awesome. Many times I like to get into the bathroom first in the morning and my husband never complains. I  don't stop to thank him or others for the many nice things that are done for me. I say thank you at the time people do something nice but I don't  really think long or deeply about how wonderful the kindness actually was. I know if someone is mean to me I review it and go on and on about it until I am sick of thinking about it. I just wondered why I couldn't savor the kind Acts longer than I agonize over the mean acts. Most people appear to be like me because they do not remember things I did for them yet they will give a noticeable face or remark if I have erred. I  would like someone to explain why we think more about bad things than good things. It seems so ridiculous yet universal. I am beginning to think that it is why we fight with others and cut them out of our lives. It isn't because of the one small thing that they did to us. It is because we didn't remember all the wonderful acts they do that go unnoticed. Even my birds that come to the bird feeder give back more to me than I to them. They allow me into their world for awhile and they teach me about trust. I am so much larger than they yet they land in front of me without fear. They don't forget who I am or what I have done for them. Why do we as a species forget? I don't have the answer unless to say we like to argue and fight. I hope that isn't true but then one must ask how come so many people have problems with so many other people. It has to boil down to simply recalling the thoughtful moments we receive goodness. I need to be more grateful to the core. I need to start trying this today because my mail person just dropped my mail on the ground. I tell myself remember simply remember!
"Write your injuries in the sand and write your  assistances in the cement." Anonymous
   

xx ARE YOU ACQUAINTED WITH THE HAZARDS OF GUILT? **

“Why should we think upon things that are lovely? Because thinking determines life. It is a common habit to blame life upon the environment. Environment modifies life but does not govern life. The soul is stronger than its’ surroundings.” William Jam

I have decided to remove the guilt trapped in my mind. I am not sure how I will do it but after it is removed I will attempt to keep it at bay. I hope I don’t feel guilty if I fail. It appears that most of us on any given day can find numerous things to feel guilty about. Some of us even let others pile on the guilt as if we didn’t give ourselves enough to feel guilty about.

Stop allowing your mind to replay situations that transpired. Once you’re caught in such a situation you begin to admonish yourself about what you should have said or done. I do this all the time. Then one is left open for the onslaught of ideas creeping into your mind regarding better actions or words one could have done or said. I begin to believe that I was totally wrong because I didn’t cover all of my bases or didn’t have more thought for the other person. I immediately buy into the notion that others are correct in their horrible assessment of me.

The next time I try harder and correct my previous mistakes but then find myself making other mistakes. I believe I can make people happy, confident relaxed inspired tolerant and patient. Now I ask myself why I thought I was God. I can’t force someone to recognize their positive gifts and be thankful for what they have. I can’t make anyone be in a happy mood even if they alter other people’s moods for the worst. I can’t change someone’s low self-esteem, or confidence level.  I can’t rip jealousy anger or a vengeful attitude from another’s heart.

Basically I can’t control others but I now know I can control myself and my attitude. I can make a difference to others by being myself that’s it. I can model  demonstrate, lend an ear encourage listen and attempt to say and do the things I think another needs. I know it isn’t easy because every person I meet has varying needs. I can only do my best and accept the outcomes. I discovered that by doing this I can get up the next day clear in my thinking and ready to embrace a new day with its’ new challenges.
When I let poor outcomes in the guise of angry looks, remarks or actions influence and infiltrate my mind I am useless to all including myself. I am down an endless road. It leads nowhere. If I overcome my insatiable running thoughts of guilt I allow another’s mood to enter behind my constructed wall. I remain whole alive and well.  I may continue my interest of others and their heartaches or misfortunes without being swallowed by guilt that I could have should have or failed to do more.
We don’t fail when we mean well. We may have made a difference that even the angry person may not have noticed. I must move forward and know I really did my best for the situation at the time, place mindset ability and my knowledge of the dilemma. Who could ask for more? Many people do but I know I am not God and I know God influences my words and actions and I therefore know I attempted to do my utmost to promote a happy situation or an uplifting moment.
In the end we all create our own reality and we can help others and not feel that we failed because we don’t get a total victory which will bring on the guilt.  I will repeat myself and say that if I feel guilty now I know it is because I am allowing it to have power over me so I resist, close my eyes and say “I won’t go there.”
 After all, I also am in charge of creating my own attitude and reality. It is my life and I am in charge of it. I quote a remarkable speaker, musician and writer “Your life can shrink or expand,” Kent Gustavson

xx ARE YOU ACQUAINTED WITH THE HAZARDS OF GUILT?

“Why should we think upon things that are lovely? Because thinking determines life. It is a common habit to blame life upon the environment. Environment modifies life but does not govern life. The soul is stronger than its’ surroundings.” William Jam

I have decided to remove the guilt trapped in my mind. I am not sure how I will do it but after it is removed I will attempt to keep it at bay. I hope I don’t feel guilty if I fail. It appears that most of us on any given day can find numerous things to feel guilty about. Some of us even let others pile on the guilt as if we didn’t give ourselves enough to feel guilty about.

Stop allowing your mind to replay situations that transpired. Once you’re caught in such a situation you begin to admonish yourself about what you should have said or done. I do this all the time. Then one is left open for the onslaught of ideas creeping into your mind regarding better actions or words one could have done or said. I begin to believe that I was totally wrong because I didn’t cover all of my bases or didn’t have more thought for the other person. I immediately buy into the notion that others are correct in their horrible assessment of me.

The next time I try harder and correct my previous mistakes but then find myself making other mistakes. I believe I can make people happy, confident relaxed inspired tolerant and patient. Now I ask myself why I thought I was God. I can’t force someone to recognize their positive gifts and be thankful for what they have. I can’t make anyone be in a happy mood even if they alter other people’s moods for the worst. I can’t change someone’s low self-esteem, or confidence level.  I can’t rip jealousy anger or a vengeful attitude from another’s heart.
Basically I can’t control others but I now know I can control myself and my attitude. I can make a difference to others by being myself that’s it. I can model  demonstrate, lend an ear encourage listen and attempt to say and do the things I think another needs. I know it isn’t easy because every person I meet has varying needs. I can only do my best and accept the outcomes. I discovered that by doing this I can get up the next day clear in my thinking and ready to embrace a new day with its’ new challenges.
When I let poor outcomes in the guise of angry looks, remarks or actions influence and infiltrate my mind I am useless to all including myself. I am down an endless road. It leads nowhere. If I overcome my insatiable running thoughts of guilt I allow another’s mood to enter behind my constructed wall. I remain whole alive and well.  I may continue my interest of others and their heartaches or misfortunes without being swallowed by guilt that I could have should have or failed to do more.
We don’t fail when we mean well. We may have made a difference that even the angry person may not have noticed. I must move forward and know I really did my best for the situation at the time, place mindset ability and my knowledge of the dilemma. Who could ask for more? Many people do but I know I am not God and I know God influences my words and actions and I therefore know I attempted to do my utmost to promote a happy situation or an uplifting moment.
In the end we all create our own reality and we can help others and not feel that we failed because we don’t get a total victory which will bring on the guilt.  I will repeat myself and say that if I feel guilty now I know it is because I am allowing it to have power over me so I resist, close my eyes and say “I won’t go there.”
 After all, I also am in charge of creating my own attitude and reality. It is my life and I am in charge of it. I quote a remarkable speaker, musician and writer “Your life can shrink or expand,” Kent Gustavson

ARE YOU ACQUAINTED WITH THE HAZARDS OF GUILT?

“Why should we think upon things that are lovely? Because thinking determines life. It is a common habit to blame life upon the environment. Environment modifies life but does not govern life. The soul is stronger than its’ surroundings.” William Jam

I have decided to remove the guilt trapped in my mind. I am not sure how I will do it but after it is removed I will attempt to keep it at bay. I hope I don’t feel guilty if I fail. It appears that most of us on any given day can find numerous things to feel guilty about. Some of us even let others pile on the guilt as if we didn’t give ourselves enough to feel guilty about.

Stop allowing your mind to replay situations that transpired. Once you’re caught in such a situation you begin to admonish yourself about what you should have said or done. I do this all the time. Then one is left open for the onslaught of ideas creeping into your mind regarding better actions or words one could have done or said. I begin to believe that I was totally wrong because I didn’t cover all of my bases or didn’t have more thought for the other person. I immediately buy into the notion that others are correct in their horrible assessment of me.
The next time I try harder and correct my previous mistakes but then find myself making other mistakes. I believe I can make people happy, confident relaxed inspired tolerant and patient. Now I ask myself why I thought I was God. I can’t force someone to recognize their positive gifts and be thankful for what they have. I can’t make anyone be in a happy mood even if they alter other people’s moods for the worst. I can’t change someone’s low self-esteem, or confidence level.  I can’t rip jealousy anger or a vengeful attitude from another’s heart.
Basically I can’t control others but I now know I can control myself and my attitude. I can make a difference to others by being myself that’s it. I can model  demonstrate, lend an ear encourage listen and attempt to say and do the things I think another needs. I know it isn’t easy because every person I meet has varying needs. I can only do my best and accept the outcomes. I discovered that by doing this I can get up the next day clear in my thinking and ready to embrace a new day with its’ new challenges.
When I let poor outcomes in the guise of angry looks, remarks or actions influence and infiltrate my mind I am useless to all including myself. I am down an endless road. It leads nowhere. If I overcome my insatiable running thoughts of guilt I allow another’s mood to enter behind my constructed wall. I remain whole alive and well.  I may continue my interest of others and their heartaches or misfortunes without being swallowed by guilt that I could have should have or failed to do more.
We don’t fail when we mean well. We may have made a difference that even the angry person may not have noticed. I must move forward and know I really did my best for the situation at the time, place mindset ability and my knowledge of the dilemma. Who could ask for more? Many people do but I know I am not God and I know God influences my words and actions and I therefore know I attempted to do my utmost to promote a happy situation or an uplifting moment.
In the end we all create our own reality and we can help others and not feel that we failed because we don’t get a total victory which will bring on the guilt.  I will repeat myself and say that if I feel guilty now I know it is because I am allowing it to have power over me so I resist, close my eyes and say “I won’t go there.”
 After all, I also am in charge of creating my own attitude and reality. It is my life and I am in charge of it. I quote a remarkable speaker, musician and writer “Your life can shrink or expand,” Kent Gustavson

With Transparency Your Guilt Evaporates sent c

“Why should we think upon things that are lovely? Because thinking determines life. It is a common habit to blame life upon the environment. Environment modifies life but does not govern life. The soul is stronger than its’ surroundings.” William Jam

I have decided to remove the guilt trapped in my mind. I am not sure how I will do it but after it is removed I will attempt to keep it at bay. I hope I don’t feel guilty if I fail. It appears that most of us on any given day can find numerous things to feel guilty about. Some of us even let others pile on the guilt as if we didn’t give ourselves enough to feel guilty about.
Stop allowing your mind to replay situations that transpired. Once you’re caught in such a situation you begin to admonish yourself about what you should have said or done. I do this all the time. Then one is left open for the onslaught of ideas creeping into your mind regarding better actions or words one could have done or said. I begin to believe that I was totally wrong because I didn’t cover all of my bases or didn’t have more thought for the other person. I immediately buy into the notion that others are correct in their horrible assessment of me.
The next time I try harder and correct my previous mistakes but then find myself making other mistakes. I believe I can make people happy, confident relaxed inspired tolerant and patient. Now I ask myself why I thought I was God. I can’t force someone to recognize their positive gifts and be thankful for what they have. I can’t make anyone be in a happy mood even if they alter other people’s moods for the worst. I can’t change someone’s low self-esteem, or confidence level.  I can’t rip jealousy anger or a vengeful attitude from another’s heart.
Basically I can’t control others but I now know I can control myself and my attitude. I can make a difference to others by being myself that’s it. I can model  demonstrate, lend an ear encourage listen and attempt to say and do the things I think another needs. I know it isn’t easy because every person I meet has varying needs. I can only do my best and accept the outcomes. I discovered that by doing this I can get up the next day clear in my thinking and ready to embrace a new day with its’ new challenges.
When I let poor outcomes in the guise of angry looks, remarks or actions influence and infiltrate my mind I am useless to all including myself. I am down an endless road. It leads nowhere. If I overcome my insatiable running thoughts of guilt I allow another’s mood to enter behind my constructed wall. I remain whole alive and well.  I may continue my interest of others and their heartaches or misfortunes without being swallowed by guilt that I could have should have or failed to do more.
We don’t fail when we mean well. We may have made a difference that even the angry person may not have noticed. I must move forward and know I really did my best for the situation at the time, place mindset ability and my knowledge of the dilemma. Who could ask for more? Many people do but I know I am not God and I know God influences my words and actions and I therefore know I attempted to do my utmost to promote a happy situation or an uplifting moment.
In the end we all create our own reality and we can help others and not feel that we failed because we don’t get a total victory which will bring on the guilt.  I will repeat myself and say that if I feel guilty now I know it is because I am allowing it to have power over me so I resist, close my eyes and say “I won’t go there.”
 After all, I also am in charge of creating my own attitude and reality. It is my life and I am in charge of it. I quote a remarkable speaker, musician and writer “Your life can shrink or expand,” Kent Gustavson

xx LEAVE YOUR EGO AT HOME THEN ENJOY THE PARTY sent c

At Holiday get-togethers we sometimes spend more time worrying about the family we will be interacting with, than the simple pleasure of their company. We are wasting a happy occasion with our non-stop anxieties. Many of these fears are of our own making and actually carry no weight. Other family members who are also attending are probably bringing their own set of worries. All of us are oblivious to each other because we are focusing on our own thoughts about the Holiday. Likely we all feel insecure about ourselves and it registers with fear, anxiety, distrust, and worry. We are not paying the slightest attention to others. We are solely focused on ourselves and our concern of the judgments of others. If we could simply view the Holiday gathering with different eyes we might be able to enjoy the upcoming event. My best to  you with this endeavor. I offer a few of my insights on family bonding. These are some tips on how to deal with SIL relationships and create a positive culture in your family amongst the siblings and siblings-in-law:
Competing with your siblings -in-law creates a no-win situation. Being right or wrong is not as important as how well everyone's sense of worth remains intact. Maintain your self-confidence, and be cognizant of the vulnerability in others. Words spoken from the tips of tongues are not profound deliberations.

Siblings-in-Law as well as siblings compete somewhat, but parents ought to downplay this circumstance. If parents unwittingly encourage this behavior, then it could possibly continue and have an influence on the closeness of siblings. The result may be a competitive relationship amongst their children which follows them into adulthood.

Siblings-in-law, who choose to misconstrue the mother-in-law's remarks, may get as close to a disaster as anyone could.  This woman is the mother of this young man and she loves him unconditionally, but judgments will proclaim their own erroneous analyses.

One must be reminded that sometimes we create our own competition. It may not always be the mother-in-law or the sibling-in-law causing it. The mother-in-law or sibling-in-law could become the scapegoat, but they may be innocent.

Every time a sibling-in-law shares the most recent event in her young child's life does not mean she is boastful. Size is not better. Learning is not intelligence. Athletic ability is not valor. Beauty never denotes inner quality. Why do we fret? We cannot be insecure. Pitting siblings or grandchildren against each other creates animosity and tension.

A person relishes promising comments and praise of their child. This will also create bonds of friendship with your siblings-in-law. The end result is an ally and a pal you can confide in. Compliments stimulate greater achievement.

Look for the things you have in common with your siblings-in-law. This will help you to bond with each other. Extend equal acceptance of your nieces or nephews. Refrain from comparing children. They are all unique individuals, with their own talents and personalities.

Diversity makes life more interesting. With girls, beauty might become another area that causes suffering. Many sisters, as well as sisters-in-law, are compared. How do we decide what beauty, strength or kindness is or is not? Might strength be enduring a childhood illness, accepting rejection by others or rejection from joining a team as well as being the best player on a team? Is strength accepting a job loss without blaming our spouse, enduring the guiding of a difficult child, suffering the loss of a loved one? Our lives are complicated enough and loaded with trials.  Many of us don't recognize our own or the achievements of others. Jealousy creeps in when we believe we are burdened but others have it easier.

A trace of jealousy may always be present, but it can be kept in restraint. All of us struggle to balance our lives with peace and happiness. We can presume on the surface that others have life easier than we do, but everyone struggles. Some hide the labor better than others do, and some complain less, but the grind is enduring for all. Supporting each other as well as managing the jealous tendencies can make life so much easier.  Remember that praise and gratefulness go a long way in healing pain, frustration, and envy. 

Families with a culture of competitiveness among adult children will likely foster anger, frustration, and guilt. Be cognizant of the fact that all children in the family can be depended upon to carry out distinct undertakings. Some children are prodigious at inviting their parents for dinner and entertaining them. Other children are present when there is a difficulty. Still others will assume major responsibilities for their parents if the time and need arises. Siblings can't feel they have let their parents down because they didn't do what another sibling did. This will cause disharmony in their sibling relationship.

Would you say you have a good relationship with your SIL? If so, how do you make it work so well?

Leave Your Ego At Home And Enjoy Yourself sent c

At Holiday get-togethers we sometimes spend more time worrying about the family we will be interacting with, than the simple pleasure of their company. We are wasting a happy occasion with our non-stop anxieties. Many of these fears are of our own making and actually carry no weight. Other family members who are also attending are probably bringing their own set of worries. All of us are oblivious to each other because we are focusing on our own thoughts about the Holiday. Likely we all feel insecure about ourselves and it registers with fear, anxiety, distrust, and worry. We are not paying the slightest attention to others. We are solely focused on ourselves and our concern of the judgments of others. If we could simply view the Holiday gathering with different eyes we might be able to enjoy the upcoming event. My best to  you with this endeavor. I offer a few of my insights on family bonding. These are some tips on how to deal with SIL relationships and create a positive culture in your family amongst the siblings and siblings-in-law:
Competing with your siblings -in-law creates a no-win situation. Being right or wrong is not as important as how well everyone's sense of worth remains intact. Maintain your self-confidence, and be cognizant of the vulnerability in others. Words spoken from the tips of tongues are not profound deliberations.

Siblings-in-Law as well as siblings compete somewhat, but parents ought to downplay this circumstance. If parents unwittingly encourage this behavior, then it could possibly continue and have an influence on the closeness of siblings. The result may be a competitive relationship amongst their children which follows them into adulthood.

Siblings-in-law, who choose to misconstrue the mother-in-law's remarks, may get as close to a disaster as anyone could.  This woman is the mother of this young man and she loves him unconditionally, but judgments will proclaim their own erroneous analyses.

One must be reminded that sometimes we create our own competition. It may not always be the mother-in-law or the sibling-in-law causing it. The mother-in-law or sibling-in-law could become the scapegoat, but they may be innocent.

Every time a sibling-in-law shares the most recent event in her young child's life does not mean she is boastful. Size is not better. Learning is not intelligence. Athletic ability is not valor. Beauty never denotes inner quality. Why do we fret? We cannot be insecure. Pitting siblings or grandchildren against each other creates animosity and tension.

A person relishes promising comments and praise of their child. This will also create bonds of friendship with your siblings-in-law. The end result is an ally and a pal you can confide in. Compliments stimulate greater achievement.

Look for the things you have in common with your siblings-in-law. This will help you to bond with each other. Extend equal acceptance of your nieces or nephews. Refrain from comparing children. They are all unique individuals, with their own talents and personalities.

Diversity makes life more interesting. With girls, beauty might become another area that causes suffering. Many sisters, as well as sisters-in-law, are compared. How do we decide what beauty, strength or kindness is or is not? Might strength be enduring a childhood illness, accepting rejection by others or rejection from joining a team as well as being the best player on a team? Is strength accepting a job loss without blaming our spouse, enduring the guiding of a difficult child, suffering the loss of a loved one? Our lives are complicated enough and loaded with trials.  Many of us don't recognize our own or the achievements of others. Jealousy creeps in when we believe we are burdened but others have it easier.

A trace of jealousy may always be present, but it can be kept in restraint. All of us struggle to balance our lives with peace and happiness. We can presume on the surface that others have life easier than we do, but everyone struggles. Some hide the labor better than others do, and some complain less, but the grind is enduring for all. Supporting each other as well as managing the jealous tendencies can make life so much easier.  Remember that praise and gratefulness go a long way in healing pain, frustration, and envy. 

Families with a culture of competitiveness among adult children will likely foster anger, frustration, and guilt. Be cognizant of the fact that all children in the family can be depended upon to carry out distinct undertakings. Some children are prodigious at inviting their parents for dinner and entertaining them. Other children are present when there is a difficulty. Still others will assume major responsibilities for their parents if the time and need arises. Siblings can't feel they have let their parents down because they didn't do what another sibling did. This will cause disharmony in their sibling relationship.

Would you say you have a good relationship with your SIL? If so, how do you make it work so well?

Leave Your Ego At Home And Enjoy Yourself

At Holiday get-togethers we sometimes spend more time worrying about the family we will be interacting with, than the simple pleasure of their company. We are wasting a happy occasion with our non-stop anxieties. Many of these fears are of our own making and actually carry no weight. Other family members who are also attending are probably bringing their own set of worries. All of us are oblivious to each other because we are focusing on our own thoughts about the Holiday. Likely we all feel insecure about ourselves and it registers with fear, anxiety, distrust, and worry. We are not paying the slightest attention to others. We are solely focused on ourselves and our concern of the judgments of others. If we could simply view the Holiday gathering with different eyes we might be able to enjoy the upcoming event. My best to  you with this endeavor. I offer a few of my insights on family bonding. These are some tips on how to deal with SIL relationships and create a positive culture in your family amongst the siblings and siblings-in-law:
Competing with your siblings -in-law creates a no-win situation. Being right or wrong is not as important as how well everyone's sense of worth remains intact. Maintain your self-confidence, and be cognizant of the vulnerability in others. Words spoken from the tips of tongues are not profound deliberations.
 
Siblings-in-Law as well as siblings compete somewhat, but parents ought to downplay this circumstance. If parents unwittingly encourage this behavior, then it could possibly continue and have an influence on the closeness of siblings. The result may be a competitive relationship amongst their children which follows them into adulthood.
 
Siblings-in-law, who choose to misconstrue the mother-in-law's remarks, may get as close to a disaster as anyone could.  This woman is the mother of this young man and she loves him unconditionally, but judgments will proclaim their own erroneous analyses.
 
One must be reminded that sometimes we create our own competition. It may not always be the mother-in-law or the sibling-in-law causing it. The mother-in-law or sibling-in-law could become the scapegoat, but they may be innocent.
 
Every time a sibling-in-law shares the most recent event in her young child's life does not mean she is boastful. Size is not better. Learning is not intelligence. Athletic ability is not valor. Beauty never denotes inner quality. Why do we fret? We cannot be insecure. Pitting siblings or grandchildren against each other creates animosity and tension.
 
A person relishes promising comments and praise of their child. This will also create bonds of friendship with your siblings-in-law. The end result is an ally and a pal you can confide in. Compliments stimulate greater achievement.
 
Look for the things you have in common with your siblings-in-law. This will help you to bond with each other. Extend equal acceptance of your nieces or nephews. Refrain from comparing children. They are all unique individuals, with their own talents and personalities.
 
Diversity makes life more interesting. With girls, beauty might become another area that causes suffering. Many sisters, as well as sisters-in-law, are compared. How do we decide what beauty, strength or kindness is or is not? Might strength be enduring a childhood illness, accepting rejection by others or rejection from joining a team as well as being the best player on a team? Is strength accepting a job loss without blaming our spouse, enduring the guiding of a difficult child, suffering the loss of a loved one? Our lives are complicated enough and loaded with trials.  Many of us don't recognize our own or the achievements of others. Jealousy creeps in when we believe we are burdened but others have it easier.
 
A trace of jealousy may always be present, but it can be kept in restraint. All of us struggle to balance our lives with peace and happiness. We can presume on the surface that others have life easier than we do, but everyone struggles. Some hide the labor better than others do, and some complain less, but the grind is enduring for all. Supporting each other as well as managing the jealous tendencies can make life so much easier.  Remember that praise and gratefulness go a long way in healing pain, frustration, and envy. 
 
Families with a culture of competitiveness among adult children will likely foster anger, frustration, and guilt. Be cognizant of the fact that all children in the family can be depended upon to carry out distinct undertakings. Some children are prodigious at inviting their parents for dinner and entertaining them. Other children are present when there is a difficulty. Still others will assume major responsibilities for their parents if the time and need arises. Siblings can't feel they have let their parents down because they didn't do what another sibling did. This will cause disharmony in their sibling relationship.

Would you say you have a good relationship with your SIL? If so, how do you make it work so well?

With Transparency Your Guilt Evaporates

“Why should we think upon things that are lovely? Because thinking determines life. It is a common habit to blame life upon the environment. Environment modifies life but does not govern life. The soul is stronger than its’ surroundings.” William Jam
I have decided to remove the guilt trapped in my mind. I am not sure how I will do it but after it is removed I will attempt to keep it at bay. I hope I don’t feel guilty if I fail. It appears that most of us on any given day can find numerous things to feel guilty about. Some of us even let others pile on the guilt as if we didn’t give ourselves enough to feel guilty about.
Stop allowing your mind to replay situations that transpired. Once you’re caught in such a situation you begin to admonish yourself about what you should have said or done. I do this all the time. Then one is left open for the onslaught of ideas creeping into your mind regarding better actions or words one could have done or said. I begin to believe that I was totally wrong because I didn’t cover all of my bases or didn’t have more thought for the other person. I immediately buy into the notion that others are correct in their horrible assessment of me.
The next time I try harder and correct my previous mistakes but then find myself making other mistakes. I believe I can make people happy, confident relaxed inspired tolerant and patient. Now I ask myself why I thought I was God. I can’t force someone to recognize their positive gifts and be thankful for what they have. I can’t make anyone be in a happy mood even if they alter other people’s moods for the worst. I can’t change someone’s low self-esteem, or confidence level.  I can’t rip jealousy anger or a vengeful attitude from another’s heart.
Basically I can’t control others but I now know I can control myself and my attitude. I can make a difference to others by being myself that’s it. I can model  demonstrate, lend an ear encourage listen and attempt to say and do the things I think another needs. I know it isn’t easy because every person I meet has varying needs. I can only do my best and accept the outcomes. I discovered that by doing this I can get up the next day clear in my thinking and ready to embrace a new day with its’ new challenges.
When I let poor outcomes in the guise of angry looks, remarks or actions influence and infiltrate my mind I am useless to all including myself. I am down an endless road. It leads nowhere. If I overcome my insatiable running thoughts of guilt I allow another’s mood to enter behind my constructed wall. I remain whole alive and well.  I may continue my interest of others and their heartaches or misfortunes without being swallowed by guilt that I could have should have or failed to do more.
We don’t fail when we mean well. We may have made a difference that even the angry person may not have noticed. I must move forward and know I really did my best for the situation at the time, place mindset ability and my knowledge of the dilemma. Who could ask for more? Many people do but I know I am not God and I know God influences my words and actions and I therefore know I attempted to do my utmost to promote a happy situation or an uplifting moment.
In the end we all create our own reality and we can help others and not feel that we failed because we don’t get a total victory which will bring on the guilt.  I will repeat myself and say that if I feel guilty now I know it is because I am allowing it to have power over me so I resist, close my eyes and say “I won’t go there.”
 After all, I also am in charge of creating my own attitude and reality. It is my life and I am in charge of it. I quote a remarkable speaker, musician and writer “Your life can shrink or expand,” Kent Gustavson
 
 

xx YOUR WELCOME TO GO TO MY HAPPY PLACE

Has anyone discovered how fast our energy depletes when we are around negative thinking people? At times we may give freely of our advice and listening ear but sometimes we deplete our own resources. We are not always aware of how easily they take our energy. Likewise, we can deplete our own energy when we spend so much time reflecting on the hurts and  insults we received throughout the day. In order to release these harmful thoughts, we must review the positive remarks others have sent our way and drop the negative emotions tied to any words or actions sent our way. I know it always sounds easier than it is to do. Actually by focusing on happier moments of interactions throughout the day we manage to let go of or block out feelings of humiliation or lack of self-worth. It is so difficult for me to let go of these restraining bonds I create with my negative thoughts. They come as a result of the injurious retorts others lash out at me. I reflected on this and realized how much wasted time I was giving to horrible feelings which mean acts had caused. My focus began to turn to more positive thoughts and I suddenly began  to perk up and feel better. My conclusion  was to keep my thoughts on higher subjects, purer ideas and soul boosting happy thoughts. It works  so for those who can't seem to keep out the negative, take my advice and think about happy things, places and people, actions, projects and awe inspiring details. You won't have room for those negative thoughts and they are put to rest. One son told me one time that I didn't always get angry with someone or something because I went to my happy place. I agree and recommend it to everyone.
 The next time someone takes more than their share of your good energy,  advise as best you can and then walk away, change the  subject, or go to your happy place and refresh your own  soul. In the end you will increase your energy. All of us at times need a boost in our resources but we should never take all of it from another. Let insults roll off of your back and they won't get stuck to you. Let negative thoughts of another dwindle and you will be flowing with enthusiasm. Look for the good in people and dismiss what you don't like in them. We are all such a mixture and more jumbled on any given day.Our moods are ours to control. As my son says "Mom just goes to her happy place." I reply, "You're welcome to come."