Heather Demetrios's Blog, page 23

Magic System Meltdown: On Revising A Fantasy Trilogy

 

Fail. Fail again. Fail better.

~Samuel Beckett

For the past few weeks, I’ve been holed up in my office revising the first book in my jinni trilogy (EXQUISITE CAPTIVE: The Dark Caravan Cycle Book 1). For a while there, it was not going well. Let’s just say that I turned it in at 3:00 a.m. the morning it was due (cue wiping forehead). Despite how difficult it was, I am REALLY happy with the revision – my editor is brilliant and I’m…well, a writer who has doggedly pursued a better draft. I have never had such a trial with a revision. Character arcs and fun, sexy scenes were easy. It was the magic system, a veritable logic puzzle of epic proportions, that had me knocking back cocktails one after the other. I can’t even tell you how many times I thought I’d solved a problem only to realize a few minutes later that the solution I’d spent hours on wasn’t going to work after all. There were several come-to-Jesus meetings in which my husband and I sat down and hashed out detail after detail of the magic system and plot (because, of course, they are so intertwined as to sometimes be the same thing)–from the limitations on a secondary character’s psychic powers to the logics of the jinni-master bond and the purpose of the jinni bottle. Sometimes I just wanted to drop my forehead to the desk and cry. It’s interesting how you can go from feeling that anything is possible to realizing that, actually, very few things are possible.

What made the revision of the system and plot so much more challenging, of course, was the fact that I was setting up two books I haven’t even written yet. Sure, something might have worked fine for book one, but then I would have written myself into a corner for books two and three. Though I know where the whole story is going and already have the majority of book three playing in my mind like a movie, it’s book two that has been really difficult (probably because it’s the next one I’m writing and so the heat is on). In order to finalize book one, I needed to know some of the trickier plot elements of book two. This was especially important for the novel’s over-arching villain, who we meet at the beginning of book two and plagues my protagonist all the way until the end of book three. I had to make sure my villain had certain powers, but that they were limited in several important ways. This caused me to have to look into the backstory of the whole trilogy and iron out a few details, which then created more problems down the line.

The thing is, revising really did make the book about a million times better. 

It is totally worth putting in all that hard work. Choosing the easy solutions are rarely going to serve you and there’s the risk of becoming derivative. Creating a truly unique magic system and fantasy plot requires some serious mental and imaginative gymnastics. So what worked? Having someone (my husband) to talk to every step of the way was probably the most important thing (also, having a supportive spouse in general). Sometimes I was soliciting advice, sometimes I was just talking through it. Also, having amazing writing buddies who took the time to help solve key problems – I sent two people frantic emails about places that were like plot and magic quicksand to me and they were able to help me out. Simply writing those emails was helpful too – in trying to explain my predicament and the possible solutions I’d come to or why I rejected certain ideas, I was able to see the problems more clearly and new solutions arose. Side note: it was so incredibly helpful to have my writer friends to go to for OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT moments.

There were some practical things that really helped me, too. I created a massive list of revisions that needed to be made (my ideas and my editor’s) and it helped to gradually cross them off one by one. I tried to stay focused on the heart of the story by finding pictures of models that looked like my characters, or of people that reminded me of them (I look like a total commie now because my revolutionary character is a very Che Guevara type, so Che now graces my idea board). When you’re revising a plot heavy/magic heavy book, it can become really easy to forget about your character’s emotional journeys. You really risk treating them like chess pieces, so it’s more important than every to stay connected to the heart of your story.

Another thing, I have four cork boards on the wall of my office – one for general inspiration and encouragement, two for the trilogy, and one for my other books…I really need a fifth, no joke. I created character pages to put on the boards so I could jump up and write down ideas that occurred to me for the later books in the trilogy as I worked. It was amazing how working through this revision got my wheels turning about the other books. I drank a lot of coffee, kept classical music going in the background (except for the action scenes, where I listened to the Game of Thrones soundtrack). I took walks and when I was totally brain dead, I watched a Nicholas Sparks movie (don’t hate).

I only emailed my editor a couple times – not frantic ones, more like are-you-cool-with-me-going-in-this-direction ones. I didn’t want to make a huge change that would affect the whole draft and find out later that she hated the idea. When I had a few days left of my revision, I got to see the ideas the designers came up with for the covers, which was super exciting and reminded me about the fun parts of this whole writing-a-book thing. I rarely left the house and didn’t clean it, either. Oh yeah, and I hardly ever cooked and the only time I saw my husband was to hash out problems I was having with the draft, or to drink much-needed margaritas. This stuff is HARD, yo.

Here’s the good news: that long list I had that seemed like the Mt. Everest of revision lists? Every item is crossed off. The seemingly impossible plot problems? Organic solutions always emerged from the work. The scene I spent six hours on and then accidentally deleted in Scrivener? Better the second time around. (That was the only time I cried and it was one tiny sob and then I told myself to grow a pair, just like my protagonist does, and I moved on). I have never wanted or needed a vacation so badly – unfortunately, I’m behind on the thesis I’m writing for my MFA and need to get out forty pages of a new novel to my advisor in a few weeks on top of revising my second Macmillan book and working on an outline for another new project and doing promotional stuff for my debut, out Feb 4th (SOMETHING REAL). But…FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS and all of them blessings.

If this revision has taught me anything, it’s that I’m doing exactly what I want to be doing with my life and the fact that it was hard is what makes it worth doing. If writing was easy, I probably wouldn’t want anything to do with it. It’s getting through the tough stuff and seeing the other side that makes writing so fulfilling. That and getting to hang out with your imaginary friends.

Now…on to my next revision!

 

An Artistic Field Trip

One of my big projects this summer has been to get my web site redesigned, in preparation for the publication of SOMETHING REAL and, not too long after that, the first book in my jinni trilogy. Finding the right designer is fodder for a whole other blog – suffice to say that I’ve found a great design firm. One of the reasons I wanted to work with them was that they asked intriguing questions about who I am as an artist and what ties all my books together thematically. In the process of having to articulate both of those things, I discovered something huge about my work: despite how different my books are (jinn, reality TV stars, combat vet Marines), they actually DO have something in common. And that thing they have in common is my sort of de facto artist’s statement of purpose, what drives me to create. Here’s how I discovered this missing piece to my writing big picture and why I encourage my fellow writers to go on their own exploratory trek through their work.

First, what do my books have in common? I have a jinni who’s been trafficked to Earth–an empress in exile who is desperate to be free of her master and return home. I have a girl who’s trying like hell to get off of her family’s reality TV show, and a couple stuck in a small town, battling personal demons and trying to find a way to break free of the life their community wants to impose on them. I realized, in laying it all out like that, that all of my protagonists are young people who are trying to break out of their current lives. They are characters who are constrained in some way (a cruel master, overbearing parents, poverty and the effects of war) and the story is of their fight to live life on their own terms. There’s always something in the story that keeps pulling them into the life they’re trying to reject and it’s this push-pull that the story focuses on.

In terms of the website design, I realized that was why I felt so drawn to imagery of people who seemed to be stepping outside of boundaries. It was really cool to understand WHY I was drawn to certain art–what about that art was making me see myself in it? I used this image from Australian design firm, Racket, to articulate how I see myself and the reader in terms of my stories. For us (writer and reader), these stories are a window into other worlds, whether they be fantastic, as my jinni trilogy is, or realistic. Regardless of setting or story, all my characters need to imagine what life could be like for them on the other side of their obstacles. That’s why I’m so drawn to surreal images that call forth the imagination and ask it to come out and play.

My designers asked me for images and quotes I like to help them inspire the collage art I want for the website (Who IS Heather Demetrios, they asked), so I took myself over to Pinterest to find stuff for them. It was amazing, looking at all these images and thinking “Is that me? Is that my work? Why or why not? What do I look like artistically? Aesthetically? Thematically?” It’s like seeing yourself and your stories in a whole new light. I started pinning things to my boards, then sent them the images and a list of the quotes that are so me (one of the designers asked, Are there any quotes you read or hear and you just think, YES?). I’ve listed the quotes at the end of this post, for your reading pleasure.

Ultimately, the website is an introduction to who I am as an artist, a sort of grand calling card.

 

 

This image really spoke to me, because it’s what I want to do as a writer for the reader and it’s what reading has meant to me. I see writers as architects of the imagination that build temples in the reader’s heart and worlds for their minds to play in. I see reading as a transformative experience, one that anchors us to what it means to be human–the beauty and wonder of it, despite all the hardship. As a kid, reading was an escape from the world, but also a way into the kind of world I wanted to live in. Like my characters, I, too, was trying to break out of confinement and figure out who I was and what it meant to be me. This, of course, is a yearning nearly all adolescents have, no matter how great their family life or financial situation.  These observations helped further solidify why I want to write young adult lit, for teens and also for people like me, adult readers who gain inspiration from remembering their own struggle for identity and who find joy in that discovery–and who want to keep discovering it in their own lives, again and again.

 

So, writers: I encourage you to go on your own artistic field trip. Try to find what the common threads in your work are. Why are you drawn to certain themes or characters? What do your settings suggest about your own artistic motivations and personal passions? Is there a problem you want to work out, again and agin? Find imagery that speaks to that and maybe put it up in your office or use it as a jumping off point when you’re lost in the mires of writing No Man’s Land. Crack open your world and take a peek inside.

Quotes 

“You don’t need planning permission to build castles in the sky.” -Banksy (via one of his street projects)

“Teenagers read millions of books every year. They read for entertainment and for education. They read because of school assignments and pop culture fads. And there are millions of teens who read because they are sad and lonely and enraged. They read because they live in an often-terrible world. They read because they believe, despite the callow protestations of certain adults, that books-especially the dark and dangerous ones-will save them…And now I write books for teenagers because I vividly remember what it felt like to be a teen facing everyday and epic dangers. I don’t write to protect them. It’s far too late for that. I write to give them weapons–in the form of words and ideas-that will help them fight their monsters. I write in blood because I remember what it felt like to bleed.”

-Sherman Alexie

“I too am not a bit tamed, I too am untranslatable, I sound my barbaric yawp over the roofs of the world…”

-Walt Whitman

“What is the point of being alive if you don’t at least try to do something remarkable? How very odd, to believe God gave you life and yet not think that life asks more of you than watching TV.”

-John Green “An Abundance of Katherines”

“The world will put a hook in your mouth. You’ll set off chasing the sunset, you wait and see…and if you ever go back, your village’ll no be big enough to hold you.”
-Robert Jordan “The Eye of the World”

 

Picassos on the Page

Last week I was at the MET with my grandma, taking in as much as we could in the hour and a half we had before closing, which is to say, not a whole lot. We were sort of running through Impressionism, giving quick waves to Van Gogh and Monet and the rest, when Picasso stopped us in our tracks (he’s pretty good at that). It was unlike any Picasso I’d ever seen, without all the pizzazz of cubism. I’ve seen things from his Blue Period before, but nothing hurt to look at so much as this one. It’s called The Blind Man’s Meal and if you want to be geeky like me, you can read more about it here. The photo below doesn’t do it justice, but hopefully it’ll give you pause, too.

 

 

So what does Picasso and, more particularly, this painting, have to do with writing? In a word: character. Picasso didn’t just paint any blind man – he painted this blind man. He is absolutely singular, caught in a private moment of sorrow and longing. And yet there’s also something tranquil here, a sort of acceptance of his condition. What kills me is the way his hand seems to almost be stroking the jug of wine. I can almost feel the grainy texture under my own fingertips as I imagine him running his skin over it. Perhaps he’s wondering what color it is or wishes he could see how much is left. Or he wishes there were someone he could share it with – this blind man feels very much alone, no? And look at his face. He’s beautiful, but does he know it? The swooney girl in me wants to kiss those perfect, pouty lips, but does he have someone in his life to appreciate them? I don’t think so. He’s skinny and sitting alone and he only seems to have that one piece of bread. Picasso shows us his poverty here; I’m not exactly sure what “telling” looks like in a painting, but my guess is that the blind man is not a representation or a stand-in–it’s him in all his raw humanity. Picasso doesn’t need to beat us over the head with it, we get it from the way his shirt hangs a little loosely around him, the meagre meal, the blue tones that immediately evoke sadness.

 

Picasso

 

I wonder how Picasso got us there. It’s not just masterful technique or a great subject. It was something deeper. Pieces of himself that he mixed in with the pain and an awareness of the human condition so keen, so empathetic, that there is no doubt that Picasso, however briefly, went to this sightless place with the blind man in order to see him more clearly. When he painted this in the early nineteen-hundreds, Picasso himself was a poor artist. But he wasn’t blind. He, as editor Patricia Gauch says, “went to the mountain.” You look at this painting, you see this character in this deeply private moment, and you feel something. An ache, a hurt in the pit of your stomach that has nothing to do with pity. It’s beautiful because it’s real.

YA is full of unreal characters. Broody boys and pretty girls who don’t know they’re pretty and everyone sounds the same and has the same problems and BLEGH. Or, you get characters who seem to put the quirk in quirky, as though weird ticks and habits and hobbies slapped onto a teen prototype can somehow render them unique. You can see the author trying too hard. Give me the real deal, however messy it is. Give me Eleanor and Park, two characters who are so real to me that I swear I’m going to run into them on the street someday. Oh Lord, give me Sean Kendrick from The Scorpio Races, where author Maggie Stiefvater takes the broody boy to a whole new level. Or how about the wonderfully conniving Frankie Landau-Banks and the heartbreakingly broken Lennie in The Sky is Everywhere? These are some of my favorite characters because they aren’t perfect. They’re messed up and make bad choices or they’ve got so many sides to themselves–hidden sides, beautiful sides–that they’re kaleidoscopic.

Writing a truly unique protagonist is hard work. It requires the writer to dig deep, to go further, to walk on hot, shifting sands and brave soul-sucking winds. Like an actor, you need to channel them, meditate on them, talk to them. And listen. Because they always talk back and they’ll let you know when you’re making a false move. Avoid the easy route. Cross out the cliches and find the characteristics and moments that are as unique as a fingerprint. The process is arduous but when it works…well, when it works, we call that art. Writing a Picasso is like closing your eyes and searching with your fingertips for that jug of wine, that hunk of bread, the hunger that nothing seems to fill.

It’s dancing in the dark.

Summer Reading Fantasy Bootcamp

Since I’m working on my thesis right now for VCFA, which is about fantasy, whilst also anxiously awaiting my editor’s revision for book one of THE DARK CARAVAN CYCLE (EXQUISITE CAPTIVE), I thought this might be a good time to share my non-fiction reading list. Below are some books about fantasy and writing within the genre. I can’t say enough times how important it is to read in your genre and how encouraging and inspiring it is to read about other writers’ processes. While for some of you it may seem boring to read essays instead of just getting into the next great fantasy read, I think it’s really important to know where we as fantasy authors come from in order to determine where we’re going next. I also feel that knowing the history of the genre and reading the masters’ take on what fantasy is and how/why they do it, lends us a sense of authority as writers. We all know that there are more than a few people who are, let’s say, “genre-ist.” I think you’ll find these books to be both a comfort and a shield. Here you’ll find writers who can articulate the value of escapism while at the same time challenging the assertion that fantasy is simply escapist. From Tolkien to Diana Wynne Jones, these writers convey the power of fantasy to draw us closer to ourselves, our world, and the mysteries of the universe. Many of them explain why fantasy is especially important for the young reader and how our myths are part of what make us who we are as people and as a society. When you’ve taken off your academic cap, you can check out this list of fiction titles, all fantasy books that you should be familiar with. Also, you know, they’re fun!

 

Basically, you need to get your read on:

 

Fantasists on Fantasy (Robert H. Boyer and Kenneth J. Zahorski)

The Wand in the Word: Conversations with Writers of Fantasy (Leonard Marcus) – this is all children’s / YA

Touch Magic: Fantasy, Faerie, and Folklore in the Literature of Childhoos (Jane Yolen)

On Faierie (C.S. Lewis) – Click the link to download the PDF. This is fantasy’s classic essay, a must read!!

 

Now you’re ready to get on your soapbox with writers or readers who look down their noses at you – don’t forget to throw down the mike and stomp out of the room when you’re done.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Our Stories Find Us

This past week, I had one of the most phenomenal writing experiences of my life to date. While at VCFA (yet another amazing residency – Tim Wynne-Jones began the opening lecture by welcoming us home…and home it is), the Muse visited me in a most astonishing way. I’d been worrying about what project I’d be working on this semester, my head so chock full of the books I owe my editors that I worried there’d be no room left for a sixth book and my critical thesis on top of that. But a few days into the residency, I was in workshop and I made a suggestion to another writer that they consider using a dream to structure their narrative when suddenly, shooting out of my subconscious (and seemingly activated by that word “dream”), came an idea I’d had for a story five years ago, back when I was living in South Korea.

I’d had an extraordinary dream, one that felt so intensely real to me that when I woke up, I was sort of an emotional wreck. The dream itself, I knew, would make a great story.  At the time, I’d envisioned the story as an adult novel, as the dream felt like an adult story. Besides, it didn’t cross my mind that it could be re-worked into a young adult novel because, at the time, I wasn’t writing for teens – I hadn’t even admitted to myself that I was a writer. I set the idea aside, since I was working on some other things and was about to begin an attempt at a middle-grade novel that was nagging me. Over the years, that dream would occasionally tap me on the shoulder, but not in a really serious way. Every now and then I’d remember that dream and think, yeah, that could make a good story. But I never seriously considered it and forgot about it instantly so that I was always in this state of re-remembering the dream whenever my mind snagged on it.

I wasn’t ready.

Yet somehow, by saying the word “dream” in my workshop, it hit me like a ton of bricks: there’s my story–where the hell have you been??!! And I suddenly knew that, though the dream had been an adult story, it could easily work for young adults. It now seemed so simple – take out the husband, make him a boyfriend, etc. Then, over the next forty-eight hours, the entire plot of the novel came to me. Obviously, it’s a starting point – even over the past few days I’ve re-fashioned it. But not only did I have this fascinating situation that my dream gave me, I now had all these great twists and turns. It was a virtual flood of ideas.

The whole experience got me thinking about how our stories find us. I can’t even tell you how many story ideas I discarded and re-worked and grasped at. Below is a picture of my trusty cigar box, procured at a voodoo shop in New Orleans. Inside are index cards chock-full of story ideas. I started writing them down after reading Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird. Sometimes the card is about a character who popped up out of nowhere and whispered secrets in my ear. Sometimes it’s a high-concept idea or a story in the news I think I could work with somehow. I don’t even know if this idea from my dream is in there. If it is, my eyes must have skimmed over it. Again, I wasn’t ready.

 

 

My point being, in all my desperate searching, this idea was nowhere to be found. Yet, suddenly, when I’m at VCFA, it comes to me. It announces itself when I’m in a place where I’m creatively fed every single day. When I’m surrounded by fantastic writers and faculty I can bounce ideas off of. It comes when the conditions are exactly perfect. Now, I’ve had ideas come to me in all kinds of places and ways. You don’t have to be at writers’ camp to get in touch with your next story idea. What I’m saying is, relax. It will come in its own good time. I guess we really can’t force these things, no matter how hard we try. And there’s hope in that. If you’re writing every day, if you’re trying to fill your creative well, then it’s all good. In fact, I was thinking about how dry my well was before I got to VCFA. Between finding a new apartment and coming off the first book in a trilogy and my first pass pages for another book I was so not ripe for new ideas. Yet look what happened after just a few days of turning off the world and tuning into the magic of Vermont.

So keep an eye out – your next story is where you least expect it to be.

A Bittersweet Goodbye to my Laptop

My workspace with my beloved old Mac

 

Today I bought a new laptop. I feel like a traitor to my faithful writing companion and the superstitious Irish part of me is a little bit nervous about messing with success. BUT, it was time for a changing of the guard. I’m writing this post on my “old” laptop, in honor of all we’ve done together. It’s been a pretty fantastic five years. When I think of the thousands upon thousands of words my fingers have tapped out on the keyboard and the array of books, artistic projects, resumes, emails, and who-knows-what-else I’ve done on it, it’s pretty astounding.

 

My husband with Pantalaimon (“Pan”), our once-upon-a-time pup

My husband and I bought this, our first Mac, when we started our own theatre company in LA. It was called Theatre Yawp. He worked on his first play on it and I worked on mission statements, press releases, and my first book, a middle-grade that may or may  not ever see the light of day. Alas, the company did not last long, but I was already back to being focused on my writing when we disbanded. While writing, my husband and I worked on our Peace Corps applications (we got accepted, but ended up not going for medical reasons). I started my first YA – another book that may or may not ever see the light of day. Then we used the laptop to do boring GRE prep and less boring graduate school applications. I kept writing and the queries I wrote produced rejections, some nicer than others.

Then I wrote Something Real. And applied for the Susan P. Bloom PEN New England Discovery Award. I won for Something Real  (then entitled Streaming). I wrote a query to my agent before she was my agent. Then I wrote another book. And another. And a synopsis for a trilogy. And emails to my editors and blog posts and more stories that may or may not ever see the light of day.

 

Doing revisions for Something Real last winter

I wrote two eulogies last year on it – one for my grandfather and one for my great-grandmother. They are perhaps some of the most important and meaningful writing I will ever do. I wrote long emails reconnecting to my best friend that I’d been estranged from. I looked for apartments in New York City. I began writing my graduate thesis.

 

My Mac at my first VCFA residency

It’s funny, intellectually I know that this computer is an amalgamation of plastic and metal and whatever else Apple puts into their amazing machines. But because I’ve carried it around with me all over the country and spent most of my days with my fingers on its keys, its somehow become more than the sum of its parts. I feel like something of me must be imprinted on it. I’ve experienced many of the past years’ highest highs and lowest lows sitting before its screen. This tiny machine is, other than my husband, the very center of my life, where all that I’m most passionate about bubbles to the surface.

 

One of many coffeehouses my Mac has kept me company at

Don’t get me wrong–I’m absolutely thrilled to be getting a new laptop. It’s coming into my life during some pretty awesome changes. My laptop, like me, will be based in Brooklyn. It will have ITS OWN OFFICE. And it will go to many coffee shops, take many flights, and hang out at libraries. On it, I will write the majority of my HarperCollins trilogy. And emails to wounded warriors for my second realism book. It will see half of my graduate coursework and all kinds of  stories I’ve yet to dream up. Yes, my new laptop will be very busy indeed.

 

 

While I get to know my new laptop, this one will be traveling across the world to Cambodia, where a family we’re close to will contribute their hopes and dreams to its story. Who knows, maybe all those hours of creative slaving away I’ve put on it will rub off on their fingertips and fill the children of that family with an urge to create. I know it will be in good hands.

 

My husband with Both and his family in Phnom Penh, Cambodia

New Chapter, First Pass Pages, and ARC Anticipation

So, as all of my Facebook friends are probably tired of hearing, I got to quit my day job today!! Almost exactly a year ago, I wrote a post on how it sucks to have a day job, but is a necessity. So it’s kinda crazy that I’m actually to the point where I can’t write and work another job. I feel blessed, but it hasn’t really hit me yet. I don’t think it will for a while. I’ll probably feel like I’m on vacation, then remember I have five books coming out and an MFA to complete. That’s when I’ll panic…and then tell myself that’s exactly why I quit my day job. It’s scary and exhilarating and surreal and I’m not naive enough to think that I will never again have a day job. I know the artist’s life is anything but predictable. So I’m going to try to appreciate this time as much as I can. It feels precious, like holding blown glass or a baby anything. So I’m starting a new chapter (pun intended) in my life and I’m going to do my damnedest to be worthy of it.

A quick note: I hesitated about writing this post because I’m worried people will think I’m an asshole, being all oh I quit my day job yadda yadda yadda. So let me explain: I want everyone out there who is creative – whether they be a writer or some other kind of artist – to know that it’s possible to have your dreams come true. I know it doesn’t happen for everyone and that there are life circumstances that prevent even the most talented of people from pursuing their artist heart’s desire. But for those of you who are despairing or thinking about throwing in the towel or just feeling really blegh about the hardness of all of it…just know it’s possible. And tell all the dream scoffers to shove it. You are beautiful for doing your art. So keep on keeping on, camerados.

In other news, I got my first pass pages this week – this is pretty much the most awesome week ever (as long as my NYC apartment hunting this weekend isn’t a bust). I’m not a crier, so I didn’t burst into tears when I saw the interior design of my book, SOMETHING REAL, but I definitely had a whoa moment. Just like quitting my day job, it’s surreal to see this manuscript you slaved over and that was yours and yours alone suddenly look like a real book and to know it belongs to other people too. The designer, your editor, and all the wonderful people who have put so much love and thought into it. It’s humbling and fucking awesome. So now I’m editing it and loving getting to make it better. Seriously, a writer’s work is never done. I can’t believe how many little things I notice every time I read it. Thank God my publisher is going to take it out of my hands and not let me fix it anymore. At some point, you have to let it go into the world. I don’t have children, but I’m guessing this is like having your baby go to kindergarten. Bittersweet.

So now I’m waiting for my ARC to come out. Should be  by the end of July and I’m psyched to see it in even more of a book form. Still, it’s not going to be *real* (heehee) until I see it at a bookstore or in a stranger’s hand. I might die of pure bliss on the spot. Or be obnoxious and take a picture. I can’t wait to hear what people think (unless they’re haters, then I can wait until I’m cold in my grave and even a little while longer after that). I also really love my characters and am thrilled for other people to meet them. It feels like they’re the dearest of friends, but they live out of town and now I’m about to introduce them to everyone…or something like that.

A last random note: one of my students today was talking about why she started learning classical guitar at age thirty-three. She said “my parents didn’t have art blood” and so it took her a long time to give herself permission to pursue creative things. I just loved that expression “art blood.” What is it that draws some of us to the arts? Maybe it’s in the blood or maybe, like anything worth having, you have to direct your whole being into the pursuit of it.

Have a good weekend, everyone!

 

My Jinni Trilogy!

So…my jinni trilogy sold!! Here are the deets from Publisher’s Weekly:

Donna Bray of Balzer + Bray at HarperCollins has acquired a modern

fantasy trilogy by Heather Demetrios, author of the forthcoming

Something Real, at auction. The Arabian Nights-inspired series – which

moves from the Hollywood Hills to a lost city in ancient Egypt to the

realm of the jinn – takes on issues of war, trafficking, and class as

the heroine battles shape-shifting adversaries and discovers that her

empire’s most dangerous enemy could be her own heart. A publication date

for the first title, Exquisite Captive, has not been finalized. Brenda

Bowen of Greenburger Associates negotiated the three-book deal for North

American rights.

 

We’re hoping to be on the Fall 2014 list. Working with the editor of e. lockhart’s The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks is an absolute dream come true. I am thrilled to be with Balzer + Bray! I have to give a shout-out to my agent, Brenda Bowen, for being a total rockstar and the calm in the storm. Love her. I am convinced she’s a jinni and she’s just keeping it on the DL. The woman has sold FIVE books for me in the year we’ve been together.

Check out my Pinterest for fun jinni-inspired pics (and boards for my other books). More news as things unfold…

 

You Are Here

 

This summer, I will be moving to New York City–Brooklyn, to be exact. I can’t be more specific than that because I haven’t found an apartment, but trust me: This. Is. Happening. I’ve dreamed of living in NYC my entire life. I wouldn’t be surprised if, somehow, the idea had caught on in the womb. Maybe my mom watched Manhattan when she was pregnant, I don’t know. But the city has been a lifelong obsession of mine.

One of the reasons I’m so excited to move there is the prospect of soaking up the city’s energy, bathing in its culture, taking the night for a ride. If you’re a writer, you can write anywhere–Stephen King wrote in a laundry room during his hungry years, if I remember correctly. Somewhere small and cramped, hiding out from his kids, scribbling in between working full time and taking care of his family. BUT. If you had the chance to live somewhere that could inspire you, would you take it? I can’t wait to see what changes this move will have on my writing. What will it open up? What new ideas will I have? How will it help me go deeper, be better?

Right now I’m reading Patti Smith’s Just Kids and I can’t believe it has taken me this long to read it because it is mindblowingly amazing. I know we have this culture of praise inflation, where everything’s OMG! I love it! 5 billion trillion stars!! But, seriously, if you are an artist or want to be an artist and if you have a big old crush on New York City, then read this book. Oh yeah, and if you want to read writing that is so good it hurts and so true it stings, then read it. And if you’re a writer, this would be near the top of my required reading list. It also won the National Book Award, if you care about things like that.

Reading this book just reminds me of the painful genesis of becoming an artist or acknowledging that you are one. And she’s so honest about the journey. Though it looks different for all of us, there’s a universality to how she expresses the becoming. The hunger for certain things, rejection of others. All the little ways you rearrange your life and those places inside you that are gathering dust or straining towards the light. Every day you wake up and choose your art–every day you say YES–is a victory. I really believe that. It’s so inspiring to read about other artists, to see what makes them tick and gets their hearts beating faster. It’s a good reminder to read more poetry, look at those art books gathering dust on your bookshelves, and dance in your living room for no other reason than because you can.

 

 

Just Kids chronicles Patti’s move to New York, the ups and downs, the crazy wonder of it. And while I know I will have a very different experience, something’s happening in Brooklyn right now and I want to find my place in this haven of artists, too. Gimme shelter. 

With all the upcoming changes in my life, it’s hard to focus. But I’m trying to be present, to be here. To soak in each moment so that maybe, someday, I can drag it out of the vault of memory and wrap it up as a present of words.

The Blank Canvas

Oh, the terror.

I’m in the HATED between-books position, where I’ve been through the hell of several drafts of a book I now love and am proud of. My agent is shopping it around and I’m checking my email every two point five seconds, waiting to hear if anyone else loves it as much as I do. But, of course, I’m a writer and I need to…write. Which basically means I need to start something new. This , my husband will confirm, is so not me at my best self. This is crazy Heather who is pretty miserable to be around.

Some people might think starting a new story is an exciting place to be. Oooh, look, they might say, what a great opportunity to be, you know, creative and have fun. Do your writer thing, right?

Uh, no. Not so much.

See, my happy place is when I’m either rocking out on the second draft or galloping towards the end of the first, knowing where I’m going and it’s just full steam ahead. I know my character inside out. I have a plot. Some of the writing is actually halfway decent. And I’m committed to it. I’m not thinking about giving up on it every time I sit down to write. This book and I, we’re in it for the long haul. We’ve said our vows and we’re sticking to them.

The blank canvas, the blank page, the white screen–whatever you want to call it–this is not a happy place. This is a place of doubt and uncertainty and why-the-hell-did-I-decide-to-be-a-writer. This is a place where everyone’s speaking a different language from you and you’re walking around all WTF and you don’t even know what color the sky is because you’re the creator and should the sky be bright, happy blue or overcast or maybe green because, who knows, this might be an alternate universe!

On top of all that, you’re thinking about the time a book takes and the emotional toll. Is this story that you’re thinking about writing worth it? Obviously if you go down this road too much, you’re stifling yourself and making it impossible to create. But it’s a worthy question and one that demands some consideration. Like this excerpt from a recent email I sent to my mentor:

 

Speaking of experimental writing…I’m feeling like I’m in a rut (not a rut rut, just like I’m not doing anything terribly new)…I feel like, no matter what the story I write is, the prose comes out similar. It’s very familiar…I guess I look at what M.T. Anderson does, especially with Feed or Octavian, and I think…YES. How do I do that?? I know you can’t really set out to write like someone else and I don’t want to write like him, but I’d like to present story and voice in a unique way. I guess I don’t want to sound so typically YA, like you could read three sentences of any given book I write and know right away that it’s YA.

There was a modern ballet I saw last week and it was PHENOMENAL (you can see clips of it on You Tube if you type in “Royal Ballet Chroma”). It blew my mind and as I was watching it, I thought that’s what I want to do with my writing. It was like nothing I’d ever seen and yet it felt a little familiar. What was exhilarating about it was that the newness of it was also emotionally resonant. I was surprised by how much it spoke to me as a ballet about this time on Earth (just before this piece, there was a stuffy old Balanchine set to Tchaikovsky, which I liked but wasn’t, you know, terribly of the moment). It was a dance that could only have been created in the new millennium, able to capture what it felt like to be alive now and what it meant to be human now. At least, that’s what I got out of it. Anyway, all that to say that I just want to make sure that my writing is always pushing boundaries, though not for the sake of pushing them. I want form to fit story, of course, but I’m afraid of becoming too comfortable. So, that’s where I’m at with my writing. Each thing I write, I want to be outside my comfort zone in terms of prose and writing about things I care about. I know that it always, always, always goes back to character and, trust me, I’m not losing sight of that. It’s just frustrating to feel like I know there’s something inside me, but I can’t figure out how to get it out on the page. I feel like all my ideas are these sort of been there, done that YA stuff and I want something epically strange. That’s it! Epically strange. But emotionally resonant with unforgettable characters. 

 

After a little more rambling, I finally summed up what I want to do with my writing from here on out:

 

I love Laini Taylor. She’s sort of my fantasy author idol right now because her stories are so unique and beautifully written. They are wonderfully strange. So, maybe I should amend my goal to: I want to write something epically wonderfully strange, with lots of heart. 

 

I thought I knew what I was going to write next. But now I wonder if I’m living up to my own desires. If I’m giving myself an opportunity to get out of the rut. Am I pushing myself? Am I living in a state of wonder? My mentor had told me this was a great place to be, that I should always be in this place because it means I’m not being lazy. Still, it’s pretty rough terrain and a tall order, at that.

Laini Taylor (oh goddess of fantasy writing) has some thoughts on this GAH / ARGH / UGH feeling. Of course her advice, like all good writers, is to write. Onward! she says.

And so I trudge on, in search of my story with nothing but my fingers to guide the way.