Chelle Ramsey's Blog, page 87

SOCIAL MEDIA & RELATIONSHIPS

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Because social media has taken such an important role in our lives we must be careful not to manage our relationships solely on it. Whether you are communicating with your significant other, sibling, parent, friends, or other relatives, ideas, thoughts, and words can be easily misinterpreted. It’s almost like when you text or email someone and you’re warned not to use caps, all bold, red or exclamation points because it is like shouting at a person. I had a boss that often used exclamation points, caps and red font, yet he was not upset but his message came across as though he was. I would often ask him to allow me to review his emails prior to sending them out and he would not and his colleagues would point out his errors, which would appear to embarrass him. I have seen on too many occasions where messages and ideas were misconstrued on social media such as Twitter and FB as a result of a typo or the absence of tone and body language.
Recently I have experienced two such encounters both directly and indirectly where relationships have been negatively affected by conversations on FB. Emotions began to rise high and the parties involved were not able to contain the emotions they felt and started slinging allegations. However, in both instances the party being “attacked” continued to express that they did not mean it the way it was taken and requested the accusing party to contact them directly to resolve the matter. Of course the offended party declined to do so because they were embroiled in hurt or pain and continued to air their grievances on FB.
This is an unfortunate situation because oftentimes words are misconstrued because of the way they are typed. You cannot convey your true feelings or body language over social media. While you cannot convey body language via the telephone either you can hear the other person’s tone, which makes all the difference in the interpretation of the message. The tone of the voice allows the receiver to pick up on certain inflections in the voice, look past the words and hear the sender’s emotions in the voice and message being delivered. Speaking over the phone provides the sender with the opportunity to display his or her true emotions and clear up any discrepancies that may readily occur before they are out of control.
While technology allows us to stay in contact with the world and not miss a beat, it should not be used to replace the genuine care and concern we hold for others. We must continue to nurture those relationships and accept FB for what it really is…media. When we think about traditional media, (e.g., newspapers, radio, & TV) we have often seen messages twisted and turned to engage viewers or send out a subliminal message. Personal relationships are too important to leave to chance. We can use FB to say a brief hello, share an interesting story, post pictures, to tease someone in humor, and update our loved ones and friends on recent activities in our lives. Yet, it should not replace honest conversation, empathy, and one-on-one relational nurturing. When it appears as though conversation on social media is running out of your control pull the plug on it before someone gets hurt. Pick up the phone, dial the number, and take control of your relationship, before discarding it like a bag of garbage. Raw emotions are too important to take lightly. Because you never know the outcome of a situation taken for granted you must never allow yourself to become caught up in social media. It’s never too late to apologize; it’s never too late to regain control of the situation; and it’s never too late to let someone know you care.
JUST A PIECE OF THIS WRITER...C. MICHELLE RAMSEY

SAVOR THE MOMENTS

My children went back to school from fall break two weeks ago, and I finally had the opportunity to take a vacation from work this week. My plans for myself included: sleeping in late, luxurious breakfasts, riding around town, and enjoying the fall. Of course none of this occurred. Instead I woke up at 6:00 AM every morning to make sure everyone woke up on time, washed faces, brushed teeth, and generally prepared for school. I thought this was something they would naturally do on their own without repeat reminders as they grew older. In the 5th and 7th grade the routine is the same as it was when they were in preschool. After sending them off to school, I would drag myself back to bed and fall to sleep again only to wake up too late for the luxurious breakfast. 
I spent my days writing, working on my business and books, cooking, doing laundry, and reflecting. Walking throughout the house looking at pictures of my children at various stages of their lives I savored the memories of them growing up. I am struck by the fact that my oldest child will be 19 in a couple of weeks. I recall when he was the first and only one and we never thought we could get him potty trained. My middle child and only daughter, has grown so fast I am scared to blink my eyes. And my baby boy...well he's still my baby boy, but growing up oh so fast as well. 
I recall the moments in life that I rushed by. 'I can't wait until they're done teething' I thought or 'I will be glad when we get (dah-dah-dah) potty trained.' Tantrums at dance would be quickly followed by thoughts of wishing dance was over. Begging for junk food in the grocery store checkout line could turn into bawling their eyes out quickly. And I absolutely could not stand to hear another person ask if the last two were twins. When my reply would be no, they're 18 months apart, they would proceed to tell me how I had my hands full...as if I hadn't already figured this out. 
As I look at them now searching for their own independence, yet still relying on my husband and me to an extent, I realize I would love to roll back the clock and grab those moments again. Of course I cannot so I will enjoy what I have now on this day, in this moment, at this second in time.
I will savor my oldest son's grumbling voice and moody ways as he figures out this thing called life. And if he doesn't get that attitude together fast, then I will enjoy delivering a swift kick in his behind from Mama and Daddy...or maybe not, just a word and a look will do.
And as I look into my daughter's beautiful almond shaped eyes with the long, curly lashes I will enjoy the rambling of her voice. She randomly discusses test scores, a girl's outfit worn on yesterday, and wedgie free panties. 
I will take the conversations with my 5th grader about his upcoming science trip to the marshes of Savannah, Beta club and 4-H activities, what the puppies next door were doing in our yard, and Halloween plans. 
They each have very distinctive and unique personalities; each have a strong sense of self and understanding who they are; and they each hold their own special place in our hearts. Yeah, I won't roll back the hands of time, but I won't fast forward to the future either. I will savor the moments that I have right now. 
JUST A PIECE OF THIS WRITER...
C. MICHELLE RAMSEY 

EROTICA...HOT TOPIC ISSUE

http://www.stockfreeimages.com/Why are sex scenes in books such a hot topic issue? I have often struggled with whether or not to leave sex scenes in tact in my writing. Now I didn't say I struggle with whether or not to write them, but whether or not to leave them in before presenting them to someone to read for the first time, which of course depends on the audience reading. When I write I allow it flow from within, I honestly embrace my character and the emotions that he or she may be experiencing at that moment and write from there. I do not blush about moments of intimacy, or the mention of the swollen head of his penis, or him tasting her delectable fruit. To me these are moments that are natural between a man and a woman or at the very least existent in some relationships.

The moment of truth comes when I must share the book with certain people (e.g., mother, mother-in-law, church member, etc.). I cringe inside thinking about the fact that as they read sexual scenes or explicit language when characters are in a rage they will relate it to the fact that I wrote it, and they do not view me in that light. I finally thought I had passed this hurdle in my writing as my husband expressed time and again not to make apologies for my writing. After all, the books are not based on sex scenes or even love for that matter. Rather they are based on drama that people encounter in life on a daily basis and focus on how they handle the drama and adversities while attempting to remain true to who they are.

My mother's reaction to my book surprised me, but it should not have been a surprise. She embraced the story and the concept, while she did not discuss the sex scenes or explicit language as my book club did in detail, she acknowledged that it was a wonderful work and couldn't wait to read the next book. I say that I should not have been surprised because while I was growing up we often read books together and when I became a teenager we swapped routinely Danielle Steele, Nora Roberts, V. C. Andrews, Eric Jerome Dickey, and Terry McMillan books at will. I know the genre of books she prefers to read and I knew she would love to read mine as well. I just didn't want her to equate those steamy, detailed sex scenes to her daughter.

My mother-in-law had purchased "REFLECTIONS OF PROMISES" on her new Kindle and was so excited that she could finally read the story, or in her case have it read to her. (I don't like the voice the animator uses in the book, because it doesn't reflect my characters tones and attitudes of course). She was 1/2 way through the book and made it her business to call me and say "Michelle...I'm reading your ole' nasty book," and started laughing at me. I'm sure she knew I was cringing on the other side of the line. She proceeded to tell me how she had been promoting the book among so many people before she read it, especially her church members, which also made me cringe. But then something inside of me turned. I expressed to her that the book was so much more than sex scenes, it was about relationships, deception and betrayal and how the characters managed their lives through the conflict and scandals.

Why do we cringe during the sex scenes as readers, and as writers cringe when we have to showcase our art before important people in our lives? It is a natural component of lives and if well written can be a beautiful structure of art using words. I believe it stems from not being comfortable with our own sensual and sexual nature. I have received wonderful reviews from some that informed me reading some of my scenes created magic that night in the bedroom between them and their spouse or significant other. In my personal opinion as an author I think that we should write as our craft dictates, allow words to take our readers into the scene and visualize the concept, and demonstrate the beauty within. Sex by nature is not an abhorrent act unless presented in a vile and crude manner. Using it to display the beauty of the relationship between two people is just another way of expressing the intimate details of a relationship, blossoming or otherwise between two characters.


JUST A PIECE OF THIS WRITER...
C. MICHELLE RAMSEY 

BREAST CANCER AWARENESS...FIGHTING THE MYTHS

The greatest risk of a woman being diagnosed with breast cancer occurs at the age of 50 and over. According to the American Cancer Society approximately three out of four women are 50 or older when they are diagnosed with breast cancer. Of all the women diagnosed only 2% are under the age of 35. Women who are diagnosed are at risk because of being a woman and growing older. With the terror that is synonymous with breast cancer comes many misconceptions and myths. The American Cancer Society attempts to dispel these myths:

MYTH NO. 1: Food preservatives increase chances of developing breast cancer.

FACT IS: Food preservatives do not appear to have an effect on breast cancer. Alcohol, excess weight, and HRT (hormone replacement therapy) affect breast cancer.


MYTH NO. 2: Cell phone use can increase a woman's chance of developing breast cancer.

FACT: Cell phones, underwire bras, antiperspirants and breast implants do not increase breast cancer risk.


MYTH NO. 3: Mammograms prevent breast cancer.

FACT: Mammograms do not prevent breast cancer; however, they are the best way to detect breast cancer. Mammograms detect 85-90% of all breast cancer before a lump is even felt.

MYTH NO. 4: Men cannot get breast cancer.

FACT: Men can develop breast cancer.

Men have breast tissue just as well as women. These tissues receive growth signals from the hormone estrogen and testosterone during puberty. Males receive an increase in testosterone, which prevents breast development and promotes testicular growth. Whereas females develop milk-producing breasts during this time, males do not. However, the breast tissue that develops creates a risk for developing breast cancer.

ACS states that of men who die from cancer, 0.22 percent of these deaths are breast cancer related, yet it is 100 times more common in women than in men. Because of research, awareness, and better treatment breast cancer survival rates among men and women are increasing. Contact the American Cancer Society to find out how you too can get involved in the move to fight breast cancer.


JUST A PIECE OF THIS WRITER...
C. MICHELLE RAMSEY 

ALL THINGS TO ME

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OMNIPOTENT GOD
As I was driving in to work this morning I was overwhelmed by some of the issues that I am facing right now in my life. But in the midst of thinking of those things God changed my mindset completely and moved my spirit to a place of peace and understanding. He filled me with such a spirit of joy and thanksgiving that I was enveloped by His peace (Jehovah Shalom). I began to think on all that He has done for me, praise Him for all He has done for me and then sing to Him what He is to me. I realized that I could not place it all in words, but this is just the beginning:


HE is my Protector never letting any harm come my way.
HE is my Provider (Jehovah Jireh), opening every window and doorway.
HE is my Deliverer when I need Him continually saving me by His grace and mercy.
HE is my Father so graciously loving His daughter when I am operating in a spirit of error, constantly forgiving and loving on me.
HE is my Righteous Lord (Jehovah Tsidkenu).
HE is my Friend through it all, I pick up the phone to call someone when I'm upset or in need and cannot locate anyone. He shuts the phone lines down and forces me to come into His presence and talk with Him. I am renewed and restored, and the phone lines open up as everyone returns my calls, and I know I don't need to share anymore, I'm okay.
HE is my Rock, He is my Master (Adonai), He is my Shelter from the storm as the waves and winds rage all around me, I will not get wet, I will not go down, I am under His wings (Psalms 91).
HE is my all in all, He is all things to me.
Praise God (Elohim).


JUST A PIECE OF THIS WRITER...
C. MICHELLE RAMSEY 

BCA HAPPENINS' IN THE ATL...

Breast Cancer is a serious health condition and illness affecting over 200,000 women each year. Love and support motivates people to create events designed to promote breast cancer awareness and raise funds for research, resources, and support programs. Thousands of people come out to support a cause in honor of their loved ones and sometimes for themselves. The Atlanta area will host many such events throughout the month of October.  I have researched many of these events and will periodically post these events throughout the month of October for you. Click the links below to find out more information on these special events:
For the lover of the arts The Pink Frog Foundation brings you the Pink Frog Affair, an evening of music, poetry and dance at the Martin Luther King Jr. International Chapel on the Morehouse College Campus. This special event is Friday, October 5, 2012 @ 7:30 P.M. Renowned guests include: singer Jennifer Holliday, The Atlanta Ballet, Actress Sharon Morris, Judge Glenda Hatchett, Jazz Vocalist Kathleen Bertrand, Shades of Pink Breast Cancer Survivor Choir, Morehouse College Glee Club, Gospel Saxophonist Angella Christie, and many more. For more information on this event please click the link below:

http://www.thepinkfrogfoundation.org/affair.html
The Red Light Cafe will host a Breast Cancer Benefit Tuesday, October 9, 2012 @ 8 P.M.:
http://surfmind.com/rlc/calendar/index.cfm?FuseCalendar_ID=3598&CurntDate=10/10/2012&FuseAction=ShowEvent&FromTemplate=dsp_ShowCalendar

The Royal 10 International and Shamnti Enterprises, Inc. will host the first annual Breast Cancer Awareness Ball on Thursday, October 11, 2012 @ 7 P.M. at the Historic Biltmore Hotel:

http://entertainment.accessatlanta.com/atlanta_ga/events/show/277472087-first-annual-breast-cancer-awareness-ball-rally-for-the-cure

Join me and others on this blog for news, my journey as an author, and inspirational stories by following with the link in the upper right hand corner.



JUST A PIECE OF THIS WRITER...
C. MICHELLE RAMSEY 

SOMEONE TO LEAN ON

Life brings challenges of all sorts and sometimes we don’t understand why we have to go through some of the things that we face. We often ask “Why me God?” or we become angry, bitter, or depressed. People may say “you brought it on yourself it must have been something you've done,” “it’s meant to build character,” and “God won’t place more on you than you can bear.” Whatever the logic it does not make the burden any easier. And this same holds true for breast cancer. I will not pretend to understand why we face some of the obstacles and trials in life that we do; however, I will say in this instance there is support available. And if you or someone you know is facing this life changing circumstance, don’t hesitate to reach out for help.
For women and men diagnosed with breast cancer there are support groups available for the person diagnosed and family members. Breast cancer does not affect just the person diagnosed, but has a major affect on the family and friends of the breast cancer patient also. With prayer, faith, and a great support system in place the journey through it can be shared. Connecting with those who have been diagnosed will provide a source of strength and comfort.
There are many groups available for support whether you are looking to talk to someone on the phone, online, or want face-to-face support there are programs available designed to meet everyone’s needs. Some support systems such as the American Cancer Society’s Road to Recovery provide non-traditional support. This program provides transportation to and from appointments for patients who cannot drive themselves or do not have transportation. Hope Lodge provides lodging for cancer patients who must travel from home to seek medical care. This program provides free, temporary lodging enabling patients to focus on getting well rather than the expense and trouble of seeking a place to stay.
To find out more about “Hope Lodge” and “Road to Recovery” please visit the link below:http://www.cancer.org/Treatment/SupportProgramsServices/index?ssSourceSiteId=null
Support Groups and Programs: National Cancer Institute’s Cancer Information Service: 1-800-422-6237http://www.cancer.gov/aboutnci/cisAmerican Cancer Society: http://www.cancer.org/indexSusan G. Komen for the Cure: http://ww5.komen.org/Breastcancer.org (Discussion Boards)

JUST A PIECE OF THIS WRITER...
C. MICHELLE RAMSEY 

WALKING THE WALK

ACS: MAKING STRIDESI had the privilege and honor of volunteering at the American Cancer Society's "Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk" in October 2009. With a group of Girl Scouts and my other leader Glynnis we supported a great cause. It was so inspirational to meet diverse individuals coming together from different backgrounds, races, states, and so much more for one common cause...to fight breast cancer. My heart was boosted to see all of these people in a show of solidarity and love against this deadly, horrific disease robbing so many of their lives every year. Men dressed in pink shirts and pink wigs, and women wearing pink tutus and t-shirts with the names of their loved ones or a motto such as: "Titties Rule," "Save the Ta-ta's" and other great slogans to generate attention brought smiles and warmth to the cool, crisp, fall day. 
We served at the water station and as walkers, joggers, and runners passed us by we shared a thumbs up, a smile, or word of encouragement. I recall thinking if all mankind could come together like this everyday for any reason at all, wouldn't this Earth be a more peaceful and beautiful place. The funds raised by this walk aid in funding breast cancer research, services, and provides access to mammograms for women who cannot otherwise afford them but need them. 
This year the American Cancer Society will host two walks in the Atlanta area: October 6, 2012 - Centennial Olympic Park 234 Centennial Olympic Park Drive NW, Atlanta, GA 30313October 27, 2012 - Glover Park on the Square, 50 E Park Square, Marietta, GA 30060To find out more about how you can help, to participate in this event, or find a walk in your area if you are outside of the Metro Atlanta area please visit:http://www.cancer.org/Involved/Participate/MakingStridesAgainstBreastCancer/index


DO THE 2: Another wonderful event is "Do the 2." October 6th starting at 6:30 AM until October 7th ending at 1:30 PM "It's the Journey" will host the 10th anniversary of the magnificent two day event. It's the Journey hosts this annual event to raise money for breast cancer research, diagnosis, education and services to thousands of Georgians affected by the disease. The organization offers opportunities for participation through walking, donating, donating to a walker, fundraising and general volunteer activities. This wonderful journey covers 30 miles in 2 days. For more information please visit: 

http://itsthejourney.org/


To continue to get breast cancer awareness updates and stories, and for other magnificent postings please click the link in the right hand corner above entitled “Follow this blog” in the Follow Me section. 
JUST A PIECE OF THIS WRITER...
C. MICHELLE RAMSEY 

IN THE PINK

BREAST CANCER AWARENESS
No matter where you go or what you are looking at you will see the PINK: from TV to the radio; shirts and bracelets; billboards and websites the landscape of America is highlighted with it during the month of October. The pink is none other than the international symbol of the pink ribbon promoting breast cancer awareness. When you visit your local stores, (e.g., Walmart, Kroger & Walgreens) they ask for a donation to fund research towards a cure for breast cancer. Today is October 1st and it is officially breast cancer awareness month. Throughout the month of October I will try to do my part by bringing various articles, tips, highlights, and stories on the subject of breast cancer to help promote awareness.


DID YOU KNOW?
Did you know that Caucasian women are more likely to develop breast cancer than African-American women? However, we are more likely to die from breast cancer because oftentimes we are diagnosed at a later stage when preventative medicine is more effective in the earlier stages.

Did you know that Asian, Hispanic and American Indian women are at lower risk than both Caucasian and African-American women, and increasing in Japanese-American women? Men can develop breast cancer as well as women, although it is not as rampant in men as women (we will discuss this topic this month also).

Did you know that mammograms are the best way to detect breast cancer? Mammograms are the use of low-energy X-rays to examine the human breast to screen for and diagnose cancer. The American Cancer Society recommends women begin having annual mammograms at the age of 40 in conjunction with a clinical breast exam performed by your doctor. Mammograms detect 85-90% of all breast cancers before the lump is felt and are the best way to detect breast cancer.

Symptoms vary among women sometimes with no obvious symptoms at all, but common symptoms include:


LumpsSkin changes Swelling
If you are under the age of 40 I encourage you to perform self checks each month to ensure there are no unfamiliar changes in your breast. Make it a part of a monthly routine and encourage your friends and family members also. Your doctor should be conducting a clinical breast exam as well and if you detect anything in your breast that is unfamiliar or uncomfortable, contact your physician and make an appointment to be seen right away. The sooner you know, the better your chances of survival if you are diagnosed with it.

Join me tomorrow for a look at the Atlanta 2 Day Walk, and please follow me using the link in the upper right-hand corner.


JUST A PIECE OF THIS WRITER...
C. MICHELLE RAMSEY 

MAKING TIME FOR MORE

There are so many tools and resources available to an independent author to help market, publish, and hone your creativity and skills. However, if not properly managed it can become overwhelming and you lose focus on the primary goal...writing. Since publishing Reflections of Promises I have received various emails, Facebook inbox messages, direct messages on Twitter and other social media sites about various options to explore. Many of them have provided me with valuable lessons and abundant knowledge; however, there are still so many links and resources I have not had time to explore. I feel sometimes as if I'm falling behind on my studying of the industry, then I have to take a moment to reflect.
I reflect on who God created me to be; I reflect on how I arrived at this place in my life; I reflect on how I feel when I'm doing what I want to do the most; and I reflect on the purpose of it all. I love to write, I always have even before I began writing complete stories, I would write names, make up families and attach ages and short stories about the family to the names. I began to explore ideas about the families and created many stories that I never completed. As I prepare to release REAL SECRETS, I reflect on the other stories waiting to be shared. And I realize I have stories within me to tell. Stories that are revealed in watching everyday life, stories revealed through experience, heartache, and pain. Stories that anger, stories that excite, stories that heal, stories that entertain, and stories that touch the human heart and emotions. And I realize I have to reflect on something else...making time for more. Making time for writing more stories, making time to explore more story ideas, making more time to read, to listen, to create, and to share. 
Regardless of how busy I become, writing continues to be my outlet, my source of peace, relaxation, and healing. It is what I come back to at the end of the day and I always want more and will always make time for more...more writing and more of me. 
JUST A PIECE OF THIS WRITER...
C. MICHELLE RAMSEY