Chelle Ramsey's Blog, page 86

27 DAYS OF GIVING THANKS: MY PERFECT "STORM"

OVER THE NEXT 27 DAYS I WILL GIVE THANKS FOR MANY THINGS IN MY LIFE. PLEASE JOIN ME & SHARE WITH ME REASONS WHY YOU ARE THANKFUL. 


Beautiful, strong, independent, wise, intelligent beyond belief and not easily controlled by others describes my middle child and only daughter. Similar to the fictional character Storm in the X-Men she has the strongest will in our X-Men family and awesome dexterity. She has a plethora of skills and talent, the least of which is her ability in sports. She is sensitive to the feelings of others around her but the environment can and often does change with her emotions…and beware when she generates her own “storm” based on her emotions. And when she calms down and brings out that smile, the clouds disappear and here comes the sunshine.
My chocolate beauty has been a gift from day one. Attempting to have another child for almost two years her appearance was a pleasant surprise. She changed life as we knew it and continues to do so. When people meet her they are not soon to forget her; whether good or bad are dependent on if the storm or the sun is out on that particular day. “Storm” is a skilled cook, phenomenal cleaner, powerful athlete, reader, and has a keen awareness of perceiving the truth in others and the reality of a situation despite the words coming from the person’s mouth; something that she acquired from her father. She can lighten the mood with a corny joke or her performance of the “robot” dance (she actually can dance rather well). Although she is the middle child and only girl she is by nature a nurturer and often forgets who the mother is. Words of wisdom or actions that she takes help people keep things in perspective when they feel stressed. She often runs to the aid of the underdog in various situations to ensure fairness for everyone involved in a situation. She keeps me grounded in all things and she is so loving, funny, and compassionate. I am thankful for her because she has enabled me to see the real me. In some ways she is much like her father and in some ways much like me, but it helps us to know where we are doing great at and where we need to step up at.  She keeps us aware that we have to protect her as well because she oftentimes tries to take on things that cannot be her worry. She has taught me how to fight for what is right and for what we believe in. I am thankful that God blessed us with such a beautiful, loving, and wise child…this ball of energy who keeps us all on our toes.
JUST A PIECE OF THIS WRITER...
C. MICHELLE RAMSEY 

27 DAYS OF GIVING THANKS: GAMBIT

OVER THE NEXT 27 DAYS I WILL GIVE THANKS FOR MANY THINGS IN MY LIFE. PLEASE JOIN ME & SHARE WITH ME REASONS WHY YOU ARE THANKFUL. 

My oldest child who recently turned 19 is still a big baby in some ways. Yet, he is my reason for growing up. I am thankful to God because it was this child that helped me to realize it was time to grow up, take my life seriously, and that life wasn't all about me. He taught me about sacrifice, protecting someone else, and unconditional love. Although he has strained the parental cords over the past year and a half as he is trying to grow up, he knows how to bring a smile to my face. He knows how to generate laughter in the family and cause his father to be so proud of him after just being so upset with him.
He is a gifted artist and much like his mother used to be he still lacks that belief in himself and his own abilities. Through learning to protect my child he has taught me how to be an overcomer  how to provide, and how to protect fiercely. His personality is most like the X-Men’s Gambit, and he will come up missing in the blink of an eye. One moment he’s there and the next we didn't realize he had left the house. Although he doesn’t have the Cajun accent that Gambit ascribes to, he doesn’t use whole sentences either (although he is very capable), which often leaves others wondering what he’s talking about. 
His father told him to learn to keep things low key and he definitely took it to a new level. He has his own unique personality that definitely differs from most other teens his age, but I love him all the more because of it. He has taught us what it means to learn to allow your child to grow up and release them. And he is teaching us what it means to continue having unconditional love all while cutting the apron strings and allowing our child to be independent. He is and has always been such a good kid and I am blessed to have him.  This child of mine is the one that is most like me. Yes, I am thankful for this first gift God saw fit to bless me with.
JUST A PIECE OF THIS WRITER...
C. MICHELLE RAMSEY 

27 DAYS OF GIVING THANKS: PROFESSOR X

OVER THE NEXT 27 DAYS I WILL GIVE THANKS FOR MANY THINGS IN MY LIFE. PLEASE JOIN ME & SHARE WITH ME REASONS WHY YOU ARE THANKFUL. 
My husband “Marvelous” is just that…marvelous. And because he refers to his family as the X-Men we consider him “Professor X.” Much like the fictional character Professor X in the Marvel comic books X-Men, he has a powerful mind and is a genius. He always looks to promote peace everywhere he goes, whether it’s family or friends. He teaches our family how to tap into our innate powers and develop them so that we can be the best that we can be in this world. Unlike Professor X he has no physical disabilities; I guess the closest he would come is his belief in those who don’t believe in themselves, which can sometimes cripple others around them. And just like Professor Xavier in the marvel comics you don’t want to cross that dark side that he suppresses.
I am thankful that God has blessed me with such a wonderful man to be my husband. He has worked diligently to show patience, forgiveness, compassion, and strength during the most challenging times to me and all his loved ones. He encourages people to believe in themselves and he has unearthed in me the raw talents that I held back from the world and didn't dare share with others. He taught me how to love me, how to develop my spiritual relationship with God, and how to grow as a woman, wife, and mother. He is my best friend who knows me inside and out. He is a patient, loving, crazy and fun father. He empowers our children with knowledge and understanding about the realities and truth of the world. He equips them with understanding and resources they will need to build a successful life. He is a wonderful provider, adoring husband, thoughtful lover, and strong friend. He has taught me to learn to laugh at myself and not take myself so seriously. And he has helped me embrace my talent without making excuses and apologies for the results that my craft sometimes produces.
Marvelous is gifted in so many areas from carpentry to cooking, his ability to soak up knowledge is outstanding, and his compassion is like none I've seen. He is a source of wisdom for many who seek him. When I stop to think of all the qualities he possesses I am outdone because it’s rare to find a gem like him. Marvelous seeks to keep us grounded in reality and lives life according to a saying he created “Why do we live life built on a figment of our imagination, when the truth is right in front of us?” He is determined that whenever he meets anyone that he will leave their lives better than it was when he entered it. I thank God for blessing me with such a good man. 
JUST A PIECE OF THIS WRITER...
C. MICHELLE RAMSEY 

27 DAYS OF GIVING THANKS: MY FATHER

OVER THE NEXT 27 DAYS I WILL GIVE THANKS FOR MANY THINGS IN MY LIFE. PLEASE JOIN ME & SHARE WITH ME REASONS WHY YOU ARE THANKFUL. 



http://www.stockfreeimages.com/I have been endowed with wonderful gifts from my Father above. He watches over me daily and despite my flaws, insecurities, and failings He does not allow me to be a failure. He guides me every step of the way and when I stray, He welcomes me back with open arms. There have been times when I am hurt and angry and I need someone to vent to, I promise that I cannot find a friend or family member within 1,000 miles. I call my husband, mother, close girlfriend and siblings and get only voice mail.
And it’s in these moments that I know He wants me to enter into His presence. He wants to comfort me, minister to me, and heal me. He wants to correct me because He knows my thinking is flawed. I want to rage at these times and He allows me to, but only in His presence. He will not allow me to take it out on others, He wants me calm so that I can hear His words, his correction, and feel His love. When I humbly submit to His will and authority I begin to feel the healing power of His loving embrace. My eyes open I can now see the truth of what He has been showing me all along. And it is in these moments He allows me to finally receive a return call from my husband, mother, girlfriends, or siblings. Only in these moments will He allow them to minister to me so that I can hear Him speaking through them.
He has not promised me anything, the next thought, the next moment, the next breath, but He has promised me everything.  
"And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19). “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28). “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. 28 I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand” (John 10: 27-28).
I am thankful that I serve a wonderful God who knows my every flaw and need and loves me in spite of me. He knows me from beginning to end and made provisions before I ever was.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts.
10 As the rain and the snow
    come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
    without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
    so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
    It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
    and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
12 You will go out in joy
    and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
    will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
    will clap their hands (Isaiah 55:8-12).
Please join me by following in the follow link in the left hand corner. You may also join through email to receive updates.  Thank you for visiting and please feel free to leave a comment.
JUST A PIECE OF THIS WRITER...
C. MICHELLE RAMSEY 

YOUR FEEDBACK COUNTS

http://www.stockfreeimages.com/

To those that know me, you understand that writing is my passion. I live and breathe to write and it is a gift that God has placed in my life. What is essential about writing to me is that you can share stories with others that empower your readers. Stories that entertain, stories that enlighten, stories that heal, stories that bring tear, stories that motivate, and stories to inspire. However, through it all there are lessons to be learned for both myself and my readers. I will continue to explore every opportunity possible to share ideas, experiences, and stories with anyone who is willing to follow this path with me.

As I continue on this journey of writing using different formats, I have begun to explore another medium of interest to readers online. Expanding on the current writing business that I already have in place, I have begun to conduct research for another area of my business...magazines I would like to get feedback from my readers as well as FB and Twitter followers about magazines and your preferences. Please assist me in this by completing the survey at the top right hand corner.

I invite you to also follow along with me on this journey. Click the follow button underneath the survey button in the top right hand corner.

JUST A PIECE OF THIS WRITER...
C. MICHELLE RAMSEY 

BELIEVING IN YOURSELF

This week has been an extreme test of faith in so many ways. My family has faced countless challenges and God has kept us through them all. As my faith grew stronger and I was determined not to break, I found that He was giving me unbelievable peace in the midst of the fiery trials. But as I continued on in faith and relying on His strength, I found that He was also sending magnificent blessings our way. The blessings that were unfolding were undoubtedly His doing, something that we just could not manufacture on our own. Yet, one particular blessing came my way this week and I questioned it. I questioned if I should take on this work and if I would be able to perform it on the level I was expected to. Part of my questioning was because there was too much going on, part of it was because I was stressed beyond belief, and part of it was because I had begun to doubt my own ability.

I prayed long and hard over this blessing to make sure it was for me and that I was supposed to take it on. After praying and receiving confirmation, I did what I needed to do, requested the support of a few people close to me and in the end the blessing turned out even better than I originally thought it would. What I have learned through it all is if He places something in our path that He wants us to do, it's not for us to question it. He will equip us with every resource, strength, and ability that we need to manifest it. He will never allow us to do a work that we are not thoroughly equipped for. It also brought back to mind a word that I heard on the radio earlier this week. The DJ said when we question whether or not we are good enough to accomplish or perform something, we are in effect questioning if He made us good enough. We start saying 'but God what about this and what about that' and we focus on our shortcomings instead of His grace. We essentially question how good God made us. Well He doesn't make a faulty product, and He doesn't make mistakes. My husband always says "Believe in who you say you believe in," well we also must believe in ourselves too, because if we don't how strong is our faith really?


JUST A PIECE OF THIS WRITER...
C. MICHELLE RAMSEY 

Preview_REAL SECRETS

http://www.stockfreeimages.com/The release of "Real Secrets" is pending a November release date, originally slated to be released in October, the date was pushed back as I struggled with the cover I knew I wanted. I did not want to settle on anything and decided to wait to get what I truly wanted (that will be released later). Although this is not the first book that I have released it is the first book that I completed. In my earlier years I wrote many stories and did not complete any. I would store them away to come back at some later, as yet undetermined time. One day my husband asked why didn't I ever complete anything I started. I asked what did he mean by that and he said he would start reading my stories, become engaged and all of a sudden I would just drop off and leave him hanging. A close friend of mine shared the same sentiment with me. So in an effort to prove them wrong, I completed Real Secrets at the time known only as "Secrets" in Cincinnati, OH in 2001. I have revamped it somewhat through the years. But here is an excerpt from my first completed project ever.

WARNING: EXPLICIT LANGUAGE



(MARCH)When Tamara snuck into the house at 3:07 A.M. she knew that Darren was still lying awake on his side of the bed. She could tell by the uneven rhythm of his breathing. She had left her shoes beside the front door in the living room of their ranch style three bedroom home to silence her footsteps. Slipping out of her jeans and t-shirt, she crawled into bed next to him in her panties and bra. As she slid the covers over her shoulders and turned her back to him, he grabbed her arm and pulled her back into a sitting position.
“Where have you been?” he uttered in a deep low voice so as not to awaken their son.
 “I was just out driving around and I stopped at mama’s house to talk with Konia,” she lied.
He pushed her away from him. She knew that he could smell the liquor on her breath.
          He turned his back to her and lay down.
“Look Tam, just so you know, I’m taking D.J. in the morning and we’re moving in with my brother.”
“What the hell are you talking about taking D.J. in the morning Darren? Hell no you ain’t taking my baby nowhere!” she shouted throwing the covers off her and jumping out of bed. As she made her way to the light switch on the wall across from their bed, she could hear him get up and slip his pants on.
“Tamara, I’m not fighting with you anymore. You promised that you would quit drinking and you didn’t. I’m not a fool! I know you still drink, you’re still getting high, and you’re still stripping. I asked you to give that up when we first met,” Darren scolded.
Tamara sat on the edge of the bed and held her head in her hands. She was so tired of this same old argument. She didn’t know what he was complaining about anyway. Between her pay and tips she brought home anywhere from $4,000 to $4500 a week dancing at Secrets. He never complained about that black and gold Lexus parked in the front that he loved to see her driving up in. Nor did he have any complaints about the dark blue Navigator that she had him rolling in. They lived in an upscale neighborhood in Roswell, Georgia. No more Boulevard for her or College Park for him, not that anything was wrong with College Park, but the neighborhood he was living in was just as bad as living on Boulevard for her.
 “You know I’m sick and tired of you complaining about what I do. You met me stripping in those damn clubs! If you had a problem with me shaking my ass then you never should have hooked up with me Darren, I haven’t tried to change you. And I’ll be damned if I let you use my baby against me! You ain’t taking D.J. nowhere,” she screamed getting into his face.
 “Tamara I’m not using or holding anything against you. I just can’t live like this anymore; you can have the cars, the clothes and all the rest of this material shit. But I can’t keep letting my son be exposed to this lifestyle anymore. When we had him shit was supposed to change; you were supposed to change it was about sacrifice. Yeah you were doing this when we met but you had higher goals and dreams for yourself and I haven’t seen you make good on any of that yet. I think you actually enjoy what you do. And you promised that you would stop stripping and now all you have is a bunch of excuses. Not only you haven’t but you’ve started drinking and you got a mouth worse than the fellas. How you think it makes me feel that the fellas at work and the ones that I hang with have all seen my woman’s ass, not just your ass but your whole damn body!”  
“That’s the problem you always worried about what someone else thinks. So what if they seen me D, it ain’t like they been up in me. You’re the only one I give my body to,” Tamara said. She walked to his side of the bed and wrapped her arms around him in an attempt to regain control of the situation and calm him down.
 “Pssh…yeah right,” Darren mumbled as he pushed her away. “I’m for real Tamara I can’t take it anymore. It’s disrespectful to me as a man. Yeah I work at UPS and I may not make the same money that you do but we can survive.”
“Darren I can’t go to school and we can’t keep up what we have on what you make alone. Even if I found a decent job we can’t do it,” she argued back.
“We ain’t gotta live like this,” he said, waving his arms around to indicate their surroundings. “It might be hard but we can work our way up to this point. I’ve been telling you that we could move into an apartment save up enough money for a few years on a decent down payment and then buy our own home. Hell we paying somebody else’s mortgage acting like this our shit and it ain’t.”
Darren looked into her eyes and saw the hard, cold truth…she couldn’t give it up, not for him and not for D.J. Stripping had become an addiction for her; he didn’t know if it was the money that she had to buy anything that she wanted, or if she felt some sort of power when she took her clothes off and had grown men acting like a bunch of little boys.                    Darren walked out of the room and went into the living room to sleep. Tamara knew that if he felt this strongly about her work that it would be worse if he found out that she had been doing private parties. That’s where she had been tonight. The whiskey had helped her to endure what she had to do. What he didn’t realize is that she wasn’t a natural drinker and didn’t enjoy it much. But when she performed at private parties she needed it, and she did one to two parties a week now. Private parties…the one thing he really hated more than stripping.
She had promised him that she would never do that and she had promised herself the same thing in the beginning when she first took the job 4 years ago. She knew that Darren would never understand. They were so close to paying off their car notes and credit cards and she had a nice lump sum to make a down payment on a home for them that would keep their mortgage payments low. She needed at this point to make as much money as she could. The sooner she got everything paid off and the sooner that she saved enough money to pay off her final 2 years of college, the sooner she could quit her job.
She wasn’t proud of what she did and she didn’t even know how she had allowed herself to sink to this depth, but in this “man’s world,” with no skill sets a woman had to do what she had to do. Hell she had made $2500 tonight alone and that was enough to pay the rent and all of the utilities. She knew from watching her parents that she couldn’t depend on a man to take care of her. Her mom never worked and always depended on her dad to take care of the family. He gave her mom an allowance that she was supposed to take care of everything with except for their bills. And when he finally died her mom had to sell the house, get a minimum wage job as a cook in a school cafeteria and get government assistance to get back on her feet. That wasn’t a life she envisioned for herself. 

JUST A PIECE OF THIS WRITER...
C. MICHELLE RAMSEY 

NFL IN THE PINK

http://www.nfl.com/pinkThroughout the NFL players are donning what have traditionally been a female color and men's least favorite color...pink. In support of Breast Cancer Awareness month, players have found a multitude of ways to get involved, from wearing pink bracelets, t-shirts, and other paraphernalia. Whether as a result of a loved one's diagnosis as in the case of the mother of Tennessee Titans tight end Jared Cook, or former Cleveland Brown's fullback Ernie Green's own diagnosis, breast cancer has impacted these mighty men in a myriad of ways.
NFL players are getting involved with giving back and promoting awareness throughout the communities they serve and in their hometowns. They understand the importance of early detection as several have lost loved ones to this malicious disease. The hurt and pain resulting from losses and suffering as loved ones battle the disease has motivated players to become active in fighting cancer.
Foundation 56 is an outreach program for those fighting breast cancer providing resources and services to patients and survivors. Started by Houston Texans linebacker Bradie James in honor of his mother who passed from breast cancer in 2001, the program hosts major events such as the annual gymnastics tournament at his Alma Mater LSU. These events are held to raise funds and promote awareness in various communities. 
The Spielman Gridiron Classic is a football fundraising game held in Ohio started by former NFL player Chris Spielman in honor of his late wife, Stephanie. Chris' aim is to raise $100,000 during the fall football season to promote breast cancer awareness. Larry Fitzgerald, Arizona Cardinals wide receiver is donating $0.25 for every FB like and Twitter follower that he receives during the month of October to promote breast cancer awareness. He is donating an additional $5,000 for every touchdown that he receives and $1,000 per reception in honor of his mother whom he lost in 2003.
There are many more stories of the impact these superstar men are making on and off the field to promote breast cancer awareness in the month of October and throughout the year. I want to say kudos to these brave men for stepping up and making the difference. I have the greatest respect for each of them as they strive to make that impact, and change the world one small step at a time. 
Please click the link below to read more stories on how the NFL is getting involved with breast cancer awareness. I would love to have you join this blog...click the join this site link above and join by email to receive updates. 
https://www.nflplayers.com/About-us/One-Team-One-Community/
JUST A PIECE OF THIS WRITER...
C. MICHELLE RAMSEY 

A SHOULDER TO LEAN ON

Typically the first word or image that comes to mind when we think about breast cancer is "woman" or "female." In my "Helping Children Cope With a Parent's Breast Cancer Diagnosis" post on Sunday, October 21st I addressed how parents can manage their children's awareness. Yet, on the other end of that spectrum we should also think of the men affected by the diagnosis. Breast cancer not only affects a woman but everyone within her precious circle...parents, siblings, children, family, friends, and of most importantly spouses. Men generally provide strength to a woman in challenging times, yet it is in challenging times such as this where they can become most vulnerable. They find strength in being able to provide for us, protect us, direct us, and have our backs no matter what comes. Yet, in the face of this deadly disease they began to feel powerless because they cannot battle this monster.

There is a support system for men who are managing their families and their loved one affected by this horrific disease. There is a nonprofit organization that empowers men to be caregivers of loved ones diagnosed with breast cancer and educate them on how to provide the support their loved ones need. The organization Men Against Breast Cancer (MABC) is the only national 501(c)(3) designed for this specific purpose. MABC offers regional and national workshops, conferences, and support groups to men to empower them to be effective caregivers to the women in their lives diagnosed with breast cancer and offer support and strength. They have also written a book as a survival guide for men to cope when their female loved one is diagnosed.

As women we are oftentimes in touch with our emotions and men are the logical ones. Yet, there are times when they cannot take anymore; there are times when women cannot offer the strength they need; there are times when they need someone who can understand their pain. This group appears to be that strength for men who have a loved one diagnosed with breast cancer. A group such as this is extremely important for men who are the caregivers in a breast cancer patient's life. I wanted to highlight this group tonight because it is wonderful to know that men have someone in their corner too, when they need that shoulder to lean on.

To learn more about MABC click the link below:

http://www.menagainstbreastcancer.org/

HELPING CHILDREN COPE WITH A PARENT’S BREAST CANCER DIAGNOSIS

In 2004 a woman faced a difficult and scary diagnosis; she was told she had breast cancer. A challenge for any woman, the severity of this illness was further compounded by the fact that she had children. I recall this being a difficult time in the lives of her children as well as the entire family. They had no true understanding of what this meant for their lives or their future. The children began to act out their feelings in school, constantly finding themselves in trouble for some behavior or other. The unfortunate part of this story is that she was in denial for some time after the diagnosis and did not seek treatment immediately. She finally began to seek treatment when she could no longer avoid it; unfortunately she succumbed to the illness the next year in 2005. Her three young children were thrust into a whirlwind of chaos and confusion. The discussion over which family member would take custody ensued and they spent time with one relative and another before the matter was finally settled.
People have conflicting feelings over how she managed or her lack of management of her illness. However, ultimately the children suffered the most and that leads me to my topic of discussion. How soon is too soon to tell the children and how does a parent manage this conversation? How does the parent equip the child to handle his or her emotions in dealing with the diagnosis? What exactly does the parent prepare their child for? At what point and how often should the parent pull away from focusing on the illness for the moment and moving forward with their lives?
I read an article recently on USA Today dealing with these exact questions. The interview focuses on seven breast cancer survivors and their chosen method of managing the illness with their children. Marisa Minor of MD Anderson encourages parents to share the diagnosis with their children early in the process to avoid their finding out from someone else. Not learning of the diagnosis from the parent can be devastating, creating mistrust, doubt, and fear in the child. A third party may inadvertently share the news with the child or not handle it in the manner the parent feels best appropriate.
Another important tip for breast cancer patients is to confirm with the child they will not be abandoned. Children have natural fears wondering what will happen to their parent and who will care for them if the parent should die from the illness. While these fears will not be completely quelled they can be addressed by informing the child of what to expect and who will play what role in their lives. The article offers tips from experts and actual breast cancer survivors on helping children deal with this diagnosis. See the full article below.
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2012/10/20/parenting-cancer-support/1633089/ JUST A PIECE OF THIS WRITER...
C. MICHELLE RAMSEY