Jack Chaucer's Blog - Posts Tagged "queens-are-wild"
Review: Chaucer pens wildly entertaining trip to 2036
Republican-American
With a title like “Queens are Wild” and an author named Chaucer, readers might expect a bawdy novel filled to bursting with at least 25 shades of gray. Indeed, this “poli-sci-fi” novel delivers on the bawdiness but in totally unexpected ways that are in keeping with the dictates of the plot. And admit it. You'd be disappointed if a novel with a title like this didn't have some nudity spiced with language that would be bleeped on “The Jerry Springer Show,” wouldn't you?
However, Jack Chaucer -- in contrast to Geoffrey Chaucer and his 14th century masterpiece “The Canterbury Tales” -- has more than a friendly pilgrimage to a cathedral in mind for the brave new world he's conjured in “Queens are Wild.” His pilgrims are, literally, unsuspecting pawns in a cosmic game of chess or poker (you find out which in the book's chilling last pages).
The novel, which uses Vonnegut-like flash-backs and flash-forwards, ultimately takes readers on a pilgrimage through time and space to the year 2036, when a megalomaniacal media mogul from Australia named Robert “Balls” Ballentine (sound familiar?) declares himself king of the United States of America. This dude makes Donald Trump appear humble by comparison (he possesses a 202-foot yacht called “Sheworthy”).
With the help of his ally China -- then the most powerful nation in the world -- King Ballentine easily takes over the U.S. and declares its new name is the United Kingdom of America (UKA).
Prior to this chaos-inducing coup -- during which President Margeaux Quigley is shot and taken hostage, and scores of government workers are assassinated by North Korean mercenaries dubbed the “Black Death” -- we meet Margeaux as a precocious 17-year-old high school senior who has just won a full soccer scholarship to Stanford in 1984 (hmmm, that date seems to ring a dystopian bell). We also meet Robert Ballentine, who was born on Jan. 1, 1984 (hmmm again), as a third-grader in Melbourne, where he tells his teacher, “One day I will be king -- king of the world.”
Out of the mouths of babes and straight to Chaucer's ear. By 2036, Ballentine is dangerously close to realizing his regal dream. In Chaucer's futurist world, the U.S. is paralyzed by national debt and jokingly called the “Divided States of America” by Ballentine. Social Security no longer exists (but CNN does!) and there is now an Area 52 in Nevada to house the spillover from extraterrestrial unidentified flying and/or crashing objects, one of which, named Gatherer 52, comes to the aid of President Quigley.
People possess things like “ST-Warp 5 mobile devices,” Dick Tracy-like “iWatches,” Clone Adapter Rockets (CARs) and web clouds instead of websites.
While this all might seem confusing, Chaucer is a sharp enough cookie to keep the action moving and the dialogue snappy, slipping his satire in on the sly. Particularly hilarious and painfully true to life are the scenes from Margeaux's high school class, in which zit-covered losers in Motley Crue T-shirts vie for attention by tormenting a hapless Spanish teacher.
Blend in some plot devices that recall “The Matrix” and “The Manchurian Candidate,” plus a soundtrack by Nine Inch Nails (one of whose songs provides the inspiration for the book's title), and you have a wildly entertaining page-turner.
You are not likely, for example, to read another novel that contains this line of dialogue: “Your swim cap will keep your brains from exploding.”
The e-book publisher smashwords.com makes it easy for potential readers to access and sample the text of this novel, providing both short and extended descriptions, and then allowing the first 20 percent of the text to be read before deciding whether to purchase.
In the case of “Queens are Wild,” readers are definitely going to want to punch the “purchase” button.
(Jack Chaucer is the pen name of Republican-American copy editor/page designer John Cullen.)
New price for "Queens are Wild"
"Queens are Wild" feeling the love in Australia
Here's the link:
http://novelsontherun.blogspot.com/20...
My review of fellow Goodreads author Harry Nicholson's novel "Tom Fleck" (5 stars)
By JACK CHAUCER
Next year will mark the 500th anniversary of Flodden -- the largest and bloodiest battle ever fought between the kingdoms of England and Scotland -- and author Harry Nicholson’s masterpiece novel “Tom Fleck” takes the reader back to Sept. 9, 1513, as if it were yesterday.
Farmer Fleck, just 18 at the time, could’ve still been safe and sound tending his master’s cattle, but his honest nature and talent for archery had conspired to steer him wrong. Now he is part of a herd of some 20,000 English soldiers thrust into a borderland conflict between the Earl of Surrey, representing King Henry VIII, and King James IV of Scotland. Injured from a pike blow to the chest and playing dead as the carnage rages nearby, Fleck comes to the realization that the world in which he lives is not a good match for his pure, penniless and hardworking soul.
“(Tom) groaned and thought: harvest time; we should be at home, beating sheaves on the threshing floor. Here we are, poor bloody labourers, herded together, mangling one another for the sake of a few soft-handed lords,” Nicholson writes.
Yes, war is hell -- but it was far more brutal 500 years ago among the “flowers of the forest” on Flodden Field in Northumberland, England. Back then, there were no “smart bombs” -- men had to look their enemies in the eye and beat them to death with a stick or a sword if they wanted to survive the day.
Nicholson brings history to life with poetic detail, authentic dialogue of the period and a protagonist you can’t help but root for in his cleverly crafted, perfectly paced novel. The research and storytelling is so well done that it certainly doesn’t feel like fiction when you read it. But as Nicholson points out in his introduction, Fleck “is fictional only because he leaves no record -- his people live before the keeping of parish registers, so they make no marks on parchment and are lost to history.”
Nicholson did discover a record of the baptism of Christofer Fleck, son of William, on Sept. 19, 1596, in Hartlepool, England.
“Perhaps William heard tales of how his great grandfather, Thomas, loved a strange woman and stood with the army on the terrible battlefield of Flodden,” Nicholson adds in his introduction.
The strange woman is Rachel Coronel, the exotic Portuguese daughter of a Jewish trader and money lender. When Tom fishes a gold ring out of the muck on his master’s farm and it bears the Tudor noble seal, he seeks Isaac Coronel’s advice while struggling to keep his eyes off the beautiful Rachel. Isaac is not comfortable buying the ring from Tom and encourages him to find the owner with the hope of getting a reward.
Accompanied throughout his journey by his little collie Meg, Tom wins over noble heralds, grizzled war veterans, potential enemies and young ladies alike with his simple acts of kindness, generosity and compassion.
The only man he can’t stand is Mark Warren and with good reason. Warren, the privileged and womanizing son of the man who owns Tom’s cattle farm, raped Tom’s 20-year-old sister, Hilda. When the Warrens expect all the men of the manor to muster for the upcoming battle with Scotland, Tom decides to flee. He wants no part of fighting.
But when Mark catches him trying to cross a river and escape, Tom is ready for that battle. He not only declares his freedom, but he also breaks Warren’s arm with a quarterstaff and sends him whimpering away.
Tom eventually completes his mission and returns the ring to the noble herald who lost it. His reward is a job caring for and guiding pack horses for the English soldiers. Unfortunately for Tom, his impressive skill with a bow and arrow -- taught to him by his late father -- draws the attention of his sergeant and even saves his captain’s life in a relatively minor skirmish with the Scots at Milfield. After that, there’s no turning back for Tom from his date with Flodden.
Fleck’s budding love affair with Rachel -- he wins her over with his pure heart and thoughtful gifts even though she originally would’ve preferred to settle down with a Jewish man -- only raises the stakes during Nicholson’s harrowing account of the every man’s inexorable march toward war. The mucky ground and primitive mode of transportation -- a long line of lumbering horses, oxen and soldiers -- make the slow, gut-wrenching journey that much more torturous for Tom and captivating for the reader. You absolutely feel like you’re one of the herd, being led to the slaughter.
“Fifty yards in front, two bulky men carried poles that held aloft an old red banner. Embroidered flowers garlanded its sides, framing its centre a faded red cross on a white square. Tom tried to concentrate on it. The way the wind played with the banner took his mind off his queasy stomach and helped to hold back the bile that threatened to flood his mouth,” Nicholson writes.
Though Tom and poor little Meg both get bloodied in the gripping battle scene, Tom makes good on his promise to return safely to Rachel because the Scot holding the axe above his wounded body recognizes him. Tom had helped the man and his brothers escape detection by British soldiers weeks earlier, when Tom wasn’t holding a quiver of arrows and fighting for the Earl of Surrey.
“I know ye and I know this wee dog,” the red-bearded Scot said.
“Aye, we’ve met before. I’m Tom Fleck and you’re John Elliot.”
“That’s right, laddie. You were good to me and ma brothers at Coxhoe a bit since.”
Elliot amazingly drapes another soldier’s limp body over Tom as cover and hands him some bog moss to stop his bleeding.
“Stay still and pretend you’re dead as him,” the big Scot advises him before continuing on in the fight.
Tom may have been stuck in the wrong herd at the wrong time, but his good karma saves his life, and Nicholson finds a way to bring out the humanity between two supposedly enemy combatants in the midst of a gruesome bloodbath 500 years ago. For that moment in time at least, the bond between poor laborers transcends the ambitions of royal blood.
Unlike King Henry VIII, King James IV was willing to sacrifice his own blood on Flodden Field. James led his invading army into battle and was killed that day, becoming the last monarch from the British Isles to suffer such a death to date.
Yes, England won the Battle of Flodden and, thanks to this wonderful novel by Harry Nicholson, our common hero of noble heart, Tom Fleck, lives on -- even as the calendar marches toward 2013.
Below is the link to Harry’s website. The e-book is just $2.99 — well worth it!
http://1513fusion.wordpress.com/
Ida Jansson designing the new cover for "Queens" paperback version
Meanwhile, I’m almost half way done with my second draft of "Streaks of Blue." I hope to e-publish for early beta reads by August. My newspaper photographer colleague, the very talented Erin Covey, will be shooting the cover for that one. All we need to find is a teen girl with blue hair (or some extensions) to play the role of Nicole! You can check out Erin Covey Creative here: http://www.erincoveycreative.com/
It should be interesting to have two books out, in both print and ebook form, by late this year.
"Queens are Wild" set to invade legendary Washington (Conn.) bookshop
Jack Chaucer’s little e-book has grown up into a paperback and, beginning next week, the legendary Hickory Stick Bookshop in Washington, Conn., will begin stocking it — right in time for summer beach read season! A big shout-out to Hickory Stick owner Fran Kielty.I just hope that sleepy little hamlet is ready for the likes of Margeaux “Check Asshole” Quigley and King Robert “Balls” Ballentine!
Hillary's loss also means ...
Margeaux Quigley can still be America's first woman president in 2032, as predicted in my 2012 political sic-fi thriller, "Queens are Wild."Go Margeaux in 2032!!
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1...
