Lisa Shea's Blog, page 336

Do Not Complain Reboot 32 Day 2

Do Not Complain Reboot 32 Day 2 -

It was the mess that did me in this time. It seems to be either the mess or food that will get to me. Fri was a long day already, and a CraigsList person had decided he’d come out Sat at noon to pick up an old receiver we were selling. And the house was a complete mess. So, 2am, I’m trying to plow through quite a lot of mess just to get the living room and kitchen presentable. And I got a bit cranky .

It frustrates me that the house gets to a state that we can’t even have people in just those two rooms without an extensive cleaning. But I’m unwilling to take time away from my already mountainous pile of projects in order to clean it. And Bob doesn’t like strangers in the house.

I guess what we need is a friend who will come in and handle the dishes and counters and such. And then we need to be more diligent about not using these areas as storage locations for months and months.

I admit that the kitchen table is completely covered with all my watercoloring supplies right now, especially as I’m working on a cool “palette” art contest where I have to turn a large wooden palette into a unique work of art. It has to be done by Feb 25th so I have 10 days left on that. Today I’m doing some experiments with folding vellum into origami.

Are you guys attempting mindfulness about complaints?

Flesh and Blood – Rutger Hauer

Flesh and Blood – Rutger Hauer and Jennifer Jason Leigh in a rough #medieval world -

Flesh and Blood – Rutger Hauer

have you seen this? This one spurs discussion for me. What should she have done?

Day 14 / Forgiveness and Siblings

Day 14 / Forgiveness and Siblings

I suppose they call it “sibling rivalry” for a reason . I have five siblings – a full sister, a half sister, a half brother, a step sister, and a step brother. The relationship with all of them has changed over the years. We’re all adults now and I think we’re in a good place now. I wish I could see them all more frequently but we’re fairly scattered. Facebook is good for keeping up with each other.

I think there are challenges with siblings, when kids, which are found in few other relationships. The most important people in the universe – the parents – are being competed for. And, being immature kids, things can be said and done that are hurtful. Those words and actions can be remembered for decades.

I think that’s a key part of forgiveness – to realize we all make mistakes, especially when we’re young, and that it’s time to look forward. Dwelling on past situations just doesn’t help anything. I’m sure I probably said things to my siblings when I was young that hurt them, and I don’t even remember it. But maybe they do and it’s “sounded in their ears” all these years. That would be a great shame.

I still remember an incident where my sister hand-made an item for my Mom and brought it to her. My mom thought it was a piece of junk my sister had wasted money on at a flea market and started berating the item. I had to leap in and stop my mother, and explain that my sister had made it for her. My mom back-tracked, but of course the damage was done. The incident still rings in my mind, how hurt my sister was, how upset I was by it, but it was just a momentary mistake by my mom and nobody else might even remember it.

Certainly I should learn from this – that there’s no reason to denigrate something like that. One never knows the full history, and are the negative statements worth it? But I should learn from it and also release the emotions. It’s not worth damaging current health and tying up current emotions over something decades old. I should accept it was a past mistake, I’ve learned something valuable, and I focus forward.

 

Shakespeare poem origami lotus

Tweaking a Shakespeare poem to have the right amount of gentle tinting to its faded look #origami #papercrafts

Meditate

Nearly time for the 10pm meditation – had a lovely sushi dinner with dad and sis – it’s good to appreciate each day! #meditate #serenity

Mused Poetry Voting

My task for today – finalize the voting on poetry for the upcoming Mused issue. All votes have to be in tonight by midnight .

Day 14 / Forgiveness and Ex-Partner

Day 14 / Forgiveness and Ex-Partner

I think, again, this book repeats on certain topics figuring they are “sticky points” for many people and that iterations can be helpful. So rather than re-investigate the same situations from yesterday, I thought I’d take a different angle and look at my first boyfriend, who I dated all junior year of high school.

We met online, which nowadays is common, but in 1983 it meant an online BBS and dial-up connections and modems, and it was quite unusual. He lived an hour south. It was, as many teen romances tend to be, exciting and new and all-enthralling. Then we were looking at colleges and he started talking about marriage after that. I wasn’t ready to lock myself in and broke up with him. He took it hard.

So while I tend to look at that relationship as a nice year which was a pleasant part of my growth, he probably sees it as me breaking his heart. Perhaps from his point of view I was ‘the one’. He was ready to marry me. He was willing to put in the work. I gave up and left.

Should I have stayed, just because he wanted me to? Even though it didn’t feel right to me? I tried to break up gently, but is the “breakee” ever going to see it that way? Are they going to remember the sharp edges and focus on those?

I think it’s good to look at situations from all sides and remember that we’re all human. We all have our own paths. Sometimes they merge and sometimes they diverge. We can’t control what any other person does. We can only control our own reactions and our own steps.

I did the best I could with that relationship, and if I could have done better, I’m sure that could be said about any relationship.

I did meet up with him a few years ago and we had a nice dinner together, so I thought that was a good thing. We’re both in happy relationships now. So life all worked out. And I do have fond memories of my time with him.

On an interesting note, though, I told Bob where I was going, who I was going with, and, afterwards, how it went. Apparently my high school boyfriend didn’t do the same, judging by how his wife called mid-meal to ask where he was, as she was locked out of the house . So I found that an indicator that I’d made the right choice both then and now.

Morning Yoga

It’s been a whirlwind day – I haven’t even been able to post about my morning yoga yet . It was lovely! Lots to do. One step at a time.

Fixing Lights

Happy Happy. My LED desk lamp has been on the fritz for months now – the in-line switch was iffy and the lamp would flicker on and off. But I love this lamp and didn’t want another one. So Bob bought the parts to make a replacement switch, cut out the old switch, and soldered in a new one. Now it works perfectly! . He even had to do it without a mysterious device known as a “solder sucker” which apparently I relocated in one of my cleaning frenzies .

Lavender Meditation

Preparing for my 10pm meditation – it’s frosty out so I’m opting for a lavender bath salt hot bath meditation. Ohhmmmm #serenity