Michael A. Arnzen's Blog: News from Gorelets.com, page 16

Announcing the Book Haiku contest winners

The latest issue of The Goreletter (Vol. 7.01: “Cibophobia”) included a special subscribers-only contest that involved writing a haiku summary of one of my books and posting it to LibraryThing’s #bookhaiku page. Here are the winning entries (surprise: I’ve added a bonus for 4th place!).

These fine folks are all each receiving a signed copy of Many Genres, One Craft, an uncased copy of the film based on my short-shorts, Exquisite Corpse, on DVD, and a special signed CD-R single of “The Bleu Man Group” (featuring both live and studio versions), excerpted from the ArnzenSongs CD (currently in production as part of a 26-copy lettered series of double-live recordings for kickstarter backers of The Fridge of the Damned…extra cds will be available for sale from this site in the near future, if you missed your chance!). They also all received a free limited edition broadside (fancy single poem on fancy paper).

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GRAVE MARKINGS:

psychopath of art:

i color my brain in ink –

your death comes to me

– Bill Bush

 

 

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100 JOLTS:

one hundred stories

needle-sharp, potent, sudden

snakebite in book form

– Scott Emerson

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MEAT SHOTS:

Hidden grandfather,

nothing is as it appears –

read between the lines

– Beth Kegelmeyer

 

 

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THE GORELETS OMNIBUS:

meaty lumps with bite

slice brain and grateful gullet –

piquant papercuts

– Jessica McHugh

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Thanks to these fine folks for crafting such intriguing haiku. I love every syllable.

Don’t miss out on contests like these for your chance at winning free Arnzen books and scary swag! Subscribe to The Goreletter email newsletter right now. Next issue expected in mid-to-late March 2013.

The Tell-Tale Heart (1953)

This 1953 animation of Edgar Allan Poe’s classic story, “The Tell-Tale Heart”, in my opinion remains the best adaptation of the story. Narrated by actor James Mason, produced by UPA…and purportedly the first cartoon to be X-rated in Great Britain.

Of course, you should also read the original story, too.

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See the full playlist of my Saturday Morning Cartoons on youtube.

The Fridge of the Damned: A Raging Success!

THANK YOU FOR FUNDING THE FRIDGE OF THE DAMNED ON KICKSTARTER!

A gigantic “THANK YOU!” to everyone who so generously backed our kickstarter project for The Fridge of the Damned magnetic word tile kit! This unique novelty item was not only successfully funded on Feb 1st, 2013, but we reached 200% of our goal from the contributions of so many kind backers, which allows us to deliver the set to everyone in customized tins. THANK YOU! And I also have to thank the folks who joined forces with me — my publishers, John and Jennifer at Raw Dog Screaming Press, who not only have chipped in many of the rewards but are distributing the sets, and Nathan at microhorror.com, who organized, designed and curated this project to its successful finale.

Here’s a sampling of images related to the campaign. You can see many more at the Flickr gallery devoted to the Fridge, which may include future images of the magnets and tins after they’re made (and hopefully people will send me photos of poems from their fridges in March!)

Raw Dog Screaming Press website in the future, and Instigation will be available wherever ebooks are sold in March.

Infant Intolerable

Here’s a Saturday morning cartoon that’s both endearing and surprisingly brutal: Infant Intolerable by animator Peter J. Casey. I do not endorse child abuse, and neither should you, but…these are blobby organ monsters, right? On the demo real of his work (posted on his blog), Casey shares that this animation was an experiment to see how much emotion he could get out of very simple characters…and the simple story was inspired by a plane ride. Any parent or air traveller can probably empathize…

I Survived the Arnzstigation

Badge by Nathan Rosen

 

For the second half of January, Jennifer Barnes, my editor at Raw Dog Screaming Press, challenged readers and writers and students to post weird writing exercises, short responses to my Instigation prompts, and reflections, comments and pictures as part of a week long series she called “Arnzstigation Days.” Those who answered the challenge were listed on a web hub page and got to bear the bloody badge (pasted up above) with pride.  Neat and weird and humbling!

It’s kind of weird being the subject of a creativity challenge — like a “roast” — only in this case, I was roasted the way they do it in the deepest levels of hell.  I’m kidding. It was touching to read all these tributes to Instigation and support of The Fridge of the Damned.

You should go read their postings. These folks did everything from writing new short stories and memoirs to posting photo galleries and videos. I just wanted to let everyone know how awesome and endearing I found all this, and how honored I am to have helped spurn some fresh ideas. I don’t know what to say except to THANK EVERYONE and post a link to the websites of those brave souls who participated, because chances are very good that if you are here because you enjoy my brand of weirdness, you’ll enjoy theirs too. So — drum roll — a huge heap of gratitude to:



Jennifer Barnes | Matt Betts | Blake Burkhead | Scott Emerson | Douglas Hackle | Lee Allen Howard | Mike L. Kinshella | John Edward Lawson | Jessica McHugh | Mike Mehalek | Heidi Ruby Miller | Jason Jack Miller | Donna Munro | Emory Barrett Pueschel | Bruce Siskawicz | Madeleine Swann | Nora Thompson | Teffanie White | Zoe Whitten

All of these folks get a raucous round of applause from me.  I have to royally thank Raw Dog Screaming Press for not only running this, but continuing to instigate ME into doing new things, too.  This experience has energized me and reaffirmed my belief in the merit of the Instigation ebook project.  Thank you all!

To return the favor in kind, I have Arnzstigated myself into doing a new horror song parody (akin to “Don’t Stop Bleeding”) in a mad dash before the official deadline.  See what you make me do?  It doesn’t make a lot of sense, but if you know the original song by Ten Years After that inspired it, you still might chuckle.  I dare you to sing this at your local karaoke bar… or just to click the video at the bottom of this page and sing along.

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 ”I’d Love to Change the World”

Everywhere is

Fitch & Crombies,

vampire zombies,

I can smell the insanity.

Scratch the itch,

blood will flow,

till there are no

ticks no mo.

I’d love to change the world.

But I don’t know what to do.

So I guess I’ll murder you.

Population,

keeps on breeding.

Virgins bleeding,

Still more feeding.

Gastronomy.

Undead’s funny:

hates the sunny,

brains are runny,

eats a bunny,

quite sloppily.

I’d love to change the world.

But I don’t know what to do.

So I guess I’ll murder you-oo.

Oh no!

De-fang the nation!

Exsanguination!

Blood filtration!

Mass starvation!

They’re pale and red!

Dumb and dead!

Hide in the shed!

Aim for the head!

I’d love to change the world.

But I don’t know what to do.

So I guess I’ll murder you.

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Here’s a share of the original song that I found on youtube.  Press play and sing along!

 

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Probably Why We Watch TV

“Just imagine a number of men in chains, and all condemned to die, some of whom each day have their throats cut before the eyes of others. Those who remain see their own condition in that of their fellows and, observing one another with grief and without hope, await their turn. That is the image of the human condition.” – Blaise Pascal (died 1662)

Ten Contemplations on the Facebook Like Icon

1) Interesting. Everybody who “likes” me seems to be a latex glove fetishist.

2) I’m not pulling over, hitcher. I’m stepping on the gas. Oh no. Get out of the way!

Weird that you click this.

3) Who’s got your nose?

4) If this hand were bearing an unbuttoned sleeve, everything you liked would seem …dirty.

5) The universal symbol for social approval in the 21st Century is a dismembered hand. I like that. But it’s kind of overkill. Surely just a single digit would do.

6) A grammatical sin is committed by our passive acceptance of this plurality of “likes” — that is, the letter S should be employed only when the subject is singular in second or third person (eg. “x number of people likes me” is an insult to English, and perhaps also the Welch). The Hand knows this but does not care, eschewing language entirely for an international symbolic system of hieroglyphs without the possibility of negation (or “unlikes”), but rather, dumbly indicating its opposition through absence (a Lacanian “lack” of likes, not present in the oedipal calculation). But where does one find, say, the middle finger in all this homogeneous idiocy? Oh, I see. Got it. Understood.

7) Clearly this stiff arm is really the pale-blue hand of an evil clown. Why does he keep following me???

8) You don’t like me. You’re pointing “gun fingers” at me. You’re either a sniper or a used car salesman. Please go away.

9) Some would say that this uncanny symbol means “thumbs up.” But there is only one thumb on this hand…that I can see.

10) I’m told that in some cultures, the “thumb up” is actually a gesture that is a provocative sexual insult. Gee, thanks everyone.

Significant related reading: “The Thumb Up”: http://bernd.wechner.info/Hitchhiking/Thumb/

Arnzstigation Days end January 31st

I am honored by this heart-warmingly weird tribute. Raw Dog Screaming Press is sponsoring a fun creative celebration called “Arnzstigation Days” in support of our successful funding of The Fridge of the Damned (for which all backers receive a copy of my upcoming story idea lighter fluid, Instigation: Creative Prompts on the Dark Side). If anything in the Instigation department of this website (or the prompts in The Gorelets Omnibus) inspires or inspired you to do something bizarre in any way, share news with Raw Dog to join the fun, before the end of the month.

Click to Learn More

Sneak Cover Design of Instigation Posted

We’ve got a devilish new cover design in the works for my upcoming e-book, Instigation: Creative Prompts on the Dark Side. Visit the book’s catalog page to take a sneak peek at what’s in store!

Dog Star’s New Title: Resnick’s “Miracle”

Happy to see the expansion of Dog Star Books — a hot new SF line put out by one of my longstanding publishers, Raw Dog Screaming Press, and edited by my former co-editor from Many Genres), Heidi Ruby Miller. They’ve just released the cover of a new book by the prolific SF author, Mike Resnick:

Dog Star Books’ Latest

SUMMARY: The best way to learn about an alien species is not only to live among them, but to become them in both physical form and function, but could a human really learn to think like an alien, and at what cost to his humanity?

Journalist and adventurer Xavier William Lennox becomes obsessed with the rituals of the Fireflies, an alien culture of gold-skinned inhabitants living on the planet Medina. When he gets too close to their mysterious society, he’s captured, tortured, and banished for his curiosity, but vows to learn what it is that the aliens are so desperate to hide, even if it means becoming one of them.

But his curiosity doesn’t end with the Fireflies. As opportunities arise to study more alien races, Lennox undergoes a series of cosmetic surgeries so that he can blend in with their cultures. But each time his humanity is stretched until he faces his biggest challenge—trying to return to the ordinary life of a man who has experienced the universe in ways he was never meant to.

Great to see the Dog barking at the moon, expanding its lineup as its tenth year in the industry unfolds. Congrats to all.