H. Claire Taylor's Blog, page 3

Day Seventeen – My Five Failures

“You don’t need any new tasks. You’re already too busy. Also the world is on fire, so who cares?” – My inner critic, being a self-sabotaging prick

The despair is still there, but I’m reaching that turning point where it congeals into nihilism. I thrive off a touch of nihilism. Just a touch to make me say, “Screw it. Let’s do this.” Or as it goes in my favorite movie that is the quintessential “problematic” romcom, “Let’s go get the shit kicked out of us by love.” Except for me it’s not love;...

Day Sixteen – My Five Failures

I had a lovely date night yesterday and straight up forgot to post on the blog, which is a win, methinks.

While I got a lot done today, considering it was a release day and those are usually full of distraction, I didn’t touch any of my failures. However, over dinner, I did come up with a plan for John to help keep me accountable for being more productive in general, and I’m hoping that will carry over.

The problem with the failures I’ve laid out is that three of the five have to do with come...

Day Thirteen – My Five Failures

Today was the first day in weeks where writing felt good, easy, and a privilege. I attribute that to the mindset I had going into Jessica Christ, which was, “I get to write this really intense gaslighting scene,” rather than the usual, “this scene is going to feel yucky.” It seems like such a simple mental shift, and an obvious one, but damn did it take me a lot of bullshit to get there. Not only did writing it feel good, but that approach opened me up to all kinds of other creative projects...

Day Twelve – My Five Failures

Following the fun has worked well today. I spent the first half of the day watching soccer, which felt good, and now I’m writing a scene with God that’s just silly. There needs to be more silly in these books for sure, not just because it’s fun to write, but because everyone needs more silly in their life. I haven’t gotten a ton of words down, but I’ve had fun during all of it.

I received a polite rejection letter from McSweeney’s today for my submission, and it was fine. I decided to go abov...

Day Eleven – My Five Failures

I chipped away at a tough scene in Jessica Christ this morning, and I’m almost through it. The first part of the book has been a drag to write just because it’s the start of six in a seven-book arc, and, structurally speaking, shit has got to go south. Jessica is struggling with everything at once, and it’s a draining mindset for me to stay in while I take her on this downhill slide. I know there are better things for her on the other side, and things are about to take a quick upturn, but for...

Day Ten – My Five Failures

I figured out who it likely was that rejected my application to the professional organization and why. As I suspected, it’s total BS. There are fewer people in life with bigger chips on their shoulder than this dude. Just having more of a clue about it allowed me to move on from it.

Another thing that helped me stop focusing on it, and will likely be the most useful tool in my failure belt, is perspective. None of the possible failures I’m tackling have much impact at all on my life, let alon...

Day Nine – My Five Failures

Today has been one giant failure. How do I know that? Because it feels like failure, and we’ve already established that failure is simply a feeling. I could probably reframe everything to make it not a failure, but you know what? I don’t fucking feel like it. And I will literally fight anyone who tries to convince me to feel otherwise.

I’m at my wit’s end with other people’s bullshit. I try to stay clear of it, yet I found myself in it big-time today.

It started off by oversleeping by three h...

Day Eight – My Five Failures

Note: I didn’t “miss a day”; I’m just taking Sundays off from posting. 

Three of my failures have fallen by the wayside in a noticeable way over the last couple days. As my focus and energy is pushing me toward my consulting business, I completely forgot about soccer and stand-up, and Jessica Christ 6.

I’m partially okay with this. Thanks to a helpful come-to-Jesus speech by a friend, the consulting brand is going to be a lot bigger than I’d originally planned. If I want to make some money fr...

Day Six – My Five Failures

Today’s major confrontation with failure: submitted to McSweeney’s.

I don’t think it’ll be selected because it’s not that good. I tweaked it a bit this afternoon, but I think the concept itself was weak. Who cares, though? It felt good to dust off the short-form comedy skills and send it off. It will likely take a few more submissions before I can hit my rhythm, but eventually one will make it through, and that will feel so good. 

I think the reason the possibility of this failure doesn’t sca...

Day Five – My Five Failures

Today was better. My inner critic can suck it.

Here’s why today was better:

I pushed through the block with Jessica Christ and turned an angsty scene into a hilarious argument. It’s not perfect yet, comedy-wise, but I see exactly what it needs to do now, and I’m confident I can tweak it into shape. I found an old short story of mine that wasn’t half bad and sent it out to my email list. They’re pleased with me. I had two shots of espresso in a Starbucks drink, which was the first fancy coffe...