Alan C. Baird's Blog: The Snoozeletter @ snzltr.blogspot.com, page 17

Screenwriters Network Competition II.

 

My Vlad the Impaler feature-length screenplay was just announced as a quarter-finalist (ongoing) in this trimonthly contest.

10Sep2020 UPDATE: Semi-finalist.

Fond Memories Of The Newsroom From Hell, #4: Doctor's Note.

 

One morning, I sent an email to my boss:

"I made a doctor's appointment to have an in-office procedure on Thursday afternoon, and he tells me that I won't be in any shape to work that night. I'm not expecting it to be too serious (fingers crossed), but I just wanted you to know that I won't be at work on the Thursday-into-Friday graveyard shift."

My boss didn't express the slightest bit of concern for my health. In fact, he said it was a horrible night for me to take sick time. I replied that I was simply trying to be thoughtful, by giving him some advance notice. He then threatened me, saying I would have to produce a doctor's note, in order to take sick leave.

I told him he was setting a dangerous precedent, by requiring an excuse for one day's worth of sick time. I also told him I was offended, but I rescheduled the doctor's appointment anyway. The next week, I followed the procedure listed in the Employee Manual, and called in sick at the last minute. The newsroom was even more short-handed, and my boss (who is not a graveyard worker) had to stay up all night to cover for me.

My dad taught me that if you treat people courteously, they will usually respond in kind. But he also said that if they shit on you, all bets are off..

#1: An Imaginary Conversation About A Thieving Soda Machine, #2: Powerless, #3: Spellchecker Fun.

Fond Memories Of The Newsroom From Hell, #3: Spellchecker Fun.

 

To: Tech Support, From: Me
Our spellchecker needs to be purged again. It doesn't stop on "solider" and several other misspellings that editors have been incorrectly adding to the dictionary.

From: Tech Support
Soldier - is a marine, navy, army person.
Solider - is a firm and stable shape.

To: Tech Support
That is certainly true, but the checker used to stop on solider, which several of our dyslexic-ish writers use for soldier, and now it doesn't. Upshot: many items will go out on the news wire with the wrong spelling, and our company's reputation will suffer. As far as I know, solider has never been used (correctly) in a news story written by our staff, while soldier seems to be used all the time. But maybe I'm wrong.

#1: An Imaginary Conversation About A Thieving Soda Machine, #2: Powerless.

ARIZONA! (a pandemic parody).

 

As some of you know, or may soon discover, I have a very dark sense of humor. So I wrote a 6-page satirical script that makes fun of the way the health crisis has been handled in my adopted home state. A pandemic parody, if you will. Think SNL sketch. The opening song follows Rodgers & Hammerstein's "OKLAHOMA!"

ARIZONA! Governor Doofus and Health Director Keeeryst try to get a handle on the coronavirus ravaging their state. Hilarity ensues. Includes gunplay and a show-stopping (or maybe show-starting?) musical number. Contains mind-boggling pull-quotes from the actual press conferences.

click link to open PDF script in new browser window

Tweeting my little heart out ~ Contributing to the Kos

Please forgive me, Margaret Atwood.

 

Margaret Atwood (The Handmaid's Tale) once wrote: "Sex may go nicely with many things, but vomit isn't one of them."

Unfortunately, I took this as a personal challenge.

The quote became my writing prompt one morning, and when the day was done, the Tangier ferry scene in Côte d'Azur was purged from my system.

Screenwriters Network Competition.

 

My Côte d'Azur feature-length screenplay was recently announced as an official selection in this trimonthly contest...

LATER: CdA is now one of 28 semi-finalists!