Alan C. Baird's Blog: The Snoozeletter @ snzltr.blogspot.com, page 14

Coyotes Redux.

 

Our community's Google group is getting clogged again, with coyote sighting reports. I like to make fun of the ensuing paranoia, so when somebody asked whether coyotes had any natural predators, I posted a still image and replied: "roadrunners."

TeeVee Stah.

 

Real People (NBC), Season 3, Episode 17, December 10, 1980, Doo Dah Parade.
You can watch my tête-à-tête w/Skip Stephenson, at about 3:20:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LYWJJ81

I had just moved out to California, after spending 18 months on the NBC NY Page staff. So I decided to attend a taping at NBC Burbank, and when the show's Production Coordinator came walking down the line of people waiting to fill the audience seats, I knew exactly what to do. I glanced down at her clipboard, then gave her a dazzling smile. She stopped to chat, and I bantered with her for about 30 seconds. Then she asked if I thought I could tell a joke, during the taping. I was a little bit coy... just enough to convince her to take a chance on me. So she gave me a slip of paper with the script on it, and took me to the front of the line. The NBC Burbank Pages seated me on the aisle, and I spent the next 30 minutes working up a good head of steam on a massive case of nerves. By the time Skip walked over, I was nearly frozen with panic, so I don't have a clear recollection of what really happened. Later, I mixed up the show's scheduled airtime (different time zone on the West Coast, you moron), so I didn't see the taped broadcast, until about forty years later. Holy crap, I actually faked my way through it! I had a strong memory of blowing the delivery, so it was nice to watch it again, after all those years. I think my timing was pretty decent, after nearly stepping on Skip's line. I know, I know: "Don't get injured, while patting yourself on the back." ;-)

COVID-19 Impact Survey Volunteer Support Team.

 

Yesterday, I spent a few hours walking around the gym at a local junior high school, carrying a board that contained a QR code. I asked folks if they wanted to spend 10 or 15 minutes of their 30-minute wait-time to complete a countywide wellness assessment survey on the web. Many of the adults were there with their kids (ages 12 and up are now eligible for Pfizer shots), and they welcomed the opportunity to fiddle with their cell phones while their kids were using their own phones to send emojis to their friends, play the latest internet games, or make top-secret plans to nuke Kyrgyzstan.

The best parts of my day involved explaining to DOZENS of parents how they could simply point their phonecams at the QR code, and a website would magically appear. Some of the kids noticed their parents' hesitancy, and tried to grab the phones out of their parents' hands, but I swatted them away. ;-)

Organizations: Fire.MesaAZ.gov and GetInvolvedMaricopa.org

Coyote Madness.

 

Our community is going through its periodic Coyote Craze. Even though everybody knows that coyotes are permanent fixtures in these here parts, Leisure Worlders think they should be able to let their poodles and schnauzers run free without fearing they'll become Coyote Snacks. So our Google group has been clogged lately with coyote photos and sighting reports like this one:

Just heard that one of the roaming coyotes bit a dog as the owner was walking. Management needs to get fish and game to trap these coyotes now. That's dangerous.

So I replied:

Without the owner's name and manor number, that's hearsay information. The dog may have been on a retractable leash, or off-leash. And the owner may have forgotten to carry a can of Mace.

The Arizona Game and Fish Department recommends Living With Coyotes: "Remember, removal is usually a last resort. Coyotes will return to the same area if attractants such as readily available food and water are not removed."

https://www.azgfd.com/wildlife/livingwith/coyotes

FYI, coyotes consider the following items to be "readily available food": rabbits, geese, ducks, fruit on the ground, unsecured garbage cans and unattended pets. In other words, Leisure World has been, and always will be, a Coyote All-You-Can-Eat Smorgasbord.

Plus, coyotes move fast. If someone sees a coyote on the east side of LW, the animal can easily be on the west side in ten minutes. So posting pix and sighting information is essentially useless, and only serves to increase the sky-high level of paranoia around here. Instead, why not use your spare time to make coyote shakers, as the AZGFD site recommends? Then, practice improving your aim by throwing them at your neighbors' unsecured garbage cans. JMHO.

How Many Vaccinated Arizonans Have Gotten COVID-19?

 

Read the full story at Phoenix New Times:

https://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/news/arizona-covid-vaccine-coronavirus-breaththrough-hospitalization-dhs-11552137

I think we were all hoping for results like this, but the actual numbers are simply astonishing!

And no deaths! Think about that. NO DEATHS!!

Are Volvo Programmers Really That Stupid?

 

We recently traded in two cars and bought a Volvo. Fancy car. Nicest car we've ever owned. Plus, it's a computer on wheels. Everything's automatic. Except the clock. Bizarre. And annoying. So I started tweeting at the company:

1) @volvocars Can your software engineers solve the Arizona clock issue? The only way I can get the correct time in my XC40 is by setting it manually. Your team is aware of this malfunction:
http://volvo.custhelp.com/app/answers/detail/a_id/9546/~/setting-the-clock
"Note: Automatic time may not display the correct time in Arizona."

1r) Replying to @acbaird Hi Alan, unfortunately since Arizona does not have daylight saving time the clock must be adjusted manually.

>>Bzzzzt. Wrong answer, Volvo. Your patronizing condescension has simply pissed me off:

2) @volvocars has 3 dealers in Phoenix, plus 1 more in Tucson, so I assume you sell at least a few cars here in Arizona. And every other company in the world has learned how to adjust for AZ time. Aren't you ashamed to admit your software geeks can't figure out this simple problem?

>>After a couple of hours, I decided that wasn't vicious enough. So my latest tweet includes screengrabs. ;-)

3) @volvocars L: Windows, R: iPhone. Google Maps and Waze are able to display Arizona time, based on GPS data. My Mazda, VW and Toyota could all figure out the correct time from GPS. But my Volvo clock loses THREE MINUTES EVERY MONTH because it must be set manually. Embarrassed yet?

>>You can see that I'm on a holy crusade for oppressed Volvo owners everywhere. ;-)


Setting the Volvo Clock in the Good Ol' Arizona Summertime.
Swipe down on the Home screen, tap "Settings" at the top left, tap "System" at the bottom, tap "Date and Time" near the top, tap "Location", tap "U.S. Mountain Time" after scrolling way down near the bottom, tap "Back", uncheck "Auto Daylight Saving Time", uncheck "Auto Time", manually set the Time, tap "Back" and push the "Home" button.
I've discovered that the manual Time setting needs to be updated weekly, in order to keep the clock reasonably accurate. There's a video about this, on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/CourtesyVolvo/posts/3098066620236304
NOTE: NONE OF THIS MANUAL WORKAROUND IS NECESSARY. CHEAPER CARS SET THEIR CLOCKS AUTOMATICALLY. A LUXURY CAR LIKE VOLVO SHOULD DO THIS, TOO, BUT THE VOLVO CORPORATION FEELS NO SHAME. The company is treating its Arizona customers like crap. Volvo now has three dealerships in Phoenix and one in Tucson, so they're selling a sh*tload of cars here. But unless every Volvo owner in Arizona complains to his/her dealership, and every AZ dealership complains to company headquarters in Gothenburg, Sweden, the malfunction won't get fixed. The irony is this: Volvo would need to invest only TEN MINUTES of programming time to make things right. (I use three different programming languages, so I know whereof I speak.) Instead, the company forces its Arizona customers to perform this useless and frustrating Hokey-Pokey for nearly eight months every year. UPDATE: Many Volvo owners are already complaining about this issue online. LATER: The Tuba Time Warp Challenge. If Volvo programmers can design a car clock that's able to adjust to the correct time all the way from Tuba City to Steamboat Canyon on Arizona Route 264 during the month of July, then all is forgiven.

The Twitter Crusade.

 

We recently traded in two cars and bought a Volvo. Fancy car. Nicest car we've ever owned. Plus, it's a computer on wheels. Everything's automatic. Except the clock. Bizarre. And annoying. So I started tweeting at the company:

1) @volvocars Can your software engineers solve the Arizona clock issue? The only way I can get the correct time in my XC40 is by setting it manually. Your team is aware of this malfunction:
http://volvo.custhelp.com/app/answers/detail/a_id/9546/~/setting-the-clock
"Note: Automatic time may not display the correct time in Arizona."

1r) Replying to @acbaird Hi Alan, unfortunately since Arizona does not have daylight saving time the clock must be adjusted manually.

>>Bzzzzt. Wrong answer, Volvo. Your patronizing condescension has simply pissed me off:

2) @volvocars has 3 dealers in Phoenix, plus 1 more in Tucson, so I assume you sell at least a few cars here in Arizona. And every other company in the world has learned how to adjust for AZ time. Aren't you ashamed to admit your software geeks can't figure out this simple problem?

>>After a couple of hours, I decided that wasn't vicious enough. So my latest tweet includes screengrabs. ;-)

3) @volvocars L: Windows, R: iPhone. Google Maps and Waze are able to display Arizona time, based on GPS data. My Mazda, VW and Toyota could all figure out the correct time from GPS. But my Volvo clock loses THREE MINUTES EVERY MONTH because it must be set manually. Embarrassed yet?

>>You can see that I'm on a holy crusade for oppressed Volvo owners everywhere. ;-)


Setting the Volvo Clock in the Good Ol' Arizona Summertime.
Swipe down on the Home screen, tap "Settings" at the top left, tap "System" at the bottom, tap "Date and Time" near the top, tap "Location", tap "U.S. Mountain Time" after scrolling way down near the bottom, tap "Back", uncheck "Auto Daylight Saving Time", uncheck "Auto Time", manually set the Time, tap "Back" and push the "Home" button.
The manual Time setting needs to be updated weekly, in order to keep the clock reasonably accurate. There's a video about this, on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/CourtesyVolvo/posts/3098066620236304
NOTE: NONE OF THIS MANUAL WORKAROUND IS NECESSARY. CHEAPER CARS SET THEIR CLOCKS AUTOMATICALLY. A LUXURY CAR LIKE VOLVO SHOULD DO THIS, TOO, BUT THE VOLVO CORPORATION FEELS NO SHAME. The company is treating its Arizona customers like crap. Volvo now has three dealerships in Phoenix and one in Tucson, so they're selling a sh*tload of cars here. But unless every Volvo owner in Arizona complains to his/her dealership, and every AZ dealership complains to company headquarters in Gothenburg, Sweden, the malfunction won't get fixed. The irony is this: Volvo would need to invest only TEN MINUTES of programming time to make things right. (I know, because I used to be a programmer.) Instead, the company forces its AZ customers to perform this useless Hokey-Pokey for nearly eight months every year. UPDATE: Many Volvo customers are already complaining about this issue online.

The Twitter Crusade.

 

We recently traded in two cars and bought a Volvo. Fancy car. Nicest car we've ever owned. Plus, it's a computer on wheels. Everything's automatic. Except the clock. Bizarre. And annoying. So I started tweeting at the company:

1) @volvocars Can your software engineers solve the Arizona clock issue? The only way I can get the correct time in my XC40 is by setting it manually. Your team is aware of this malfunction:
http://volvo.custhelp.com/app/answers/detail/a_id/9546/~/setting-the-clock
"Note: Automatic time may not display the correct time in Arizona."

1r) Replying to @acbaird Hi Alan, unfortunately since Arizona does not have daylight saving time the clock must be adjusted manually.

>>Bzzzzt. Wrong answer, Volvo. Your patronizing condescension has simply pissed me off:

2) @volvocars has 3 dealers in Phoenix, plus 1 more in Tucson, so I assume you sell at least a few cars here in Arizona. And every other company in the world has learned how to adjust for AZ time. Aren't you ashamed to admit your software geeks can't figure out this simple problem?

>>After a couple of hours, I decided that wasn't vicious enough. So my latest tweet includes screengrabs. ;-)

3) @volvocars L: Windows, R: iPhone. Google Maps and Waze are able to display Arizona time, based on GPS data. My Mazda, VW and Toyota could all figure out the correct time from GPS. But my Volvo clock loses THREE MINUTES EVERY MONTH because it must be set manually. Embarrassed yet?

>>You can see that I'm on a holy crusade for oppressed Volvo owners everywhere. ;-)


Setting the Volvo Clock in the Good Ol' Arizona Summertime.
Swipe down on the Home screen, tap "Settings" at the top left, tap "System" at the bottom, tap "Date and Time" near the top, tap "Location", tap "U.S. Mountain Time" after scrolling way down near the bottom, tap "Back", uncheck "Auto Daylight Saving Time", uncheck "Auto Time", manually set the Time, tap "Back" and push the "Home" button.
The manual Time setting needs to be updated weekly, in order to keep the clock reasonably accurate. There's a video about this, on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/CourtesyVolvo/posts/3098066620236304
NOTE: NONE OF THIS MANUAL WORKAROUND IS NECESSARY. CHEAPER CARS SET THEIR CLOCKS AUTOMATICALLY. A LUXURY CAR LIKE VOLVO SHOULD DO THIS, TOO, BUT THE VOLVO CORPORATION FEELS NO SHAME. The company is treating its Arizona customers like crap. Volvo now has three dealerships in Phoenix and one in Tucson, so they're selling a sh*tload of cars here. But unless every Volvo owner in Arizona complains to his/her dealership, and every AZ dealership complains to company headquarters in Gothenburg, Sweden, the malfunction won't get fixed. The irony is this: Volvo would need to invest only TEN MINUTES of programming time to make things right. Instead, the company forces its AZ customers to perform this useless Hokey-Pokey for nearly eight months every year.

Paying it forward... exponentially!

 

I volunteered at the local vaccinatorium (is that a word?) on April 8, and copied that posting onto our community's Google Group.

Today, I received an email from a neighbor I've never met: "[your posting] motivated me to get about 25 pickleball players plus myself to sign up together to volunteer at the Dexcom POD."

I'm so happy right now, I could sh*t rainbows. ;-)

LATER: the pickleballers!

Wanted: animator.

 

I have raised a small budget to produce a short animated film based on this Hungarian-themed script:

http://9TimeZones.com/s/azertis!.htm

Synopsis: Even though this European nation has existed for more than a thousand years, over 70% of the country "vanished" after World War I. Today, the exiles' great-great-great-grandkids still think in Magyar.

The final goal is to qualify for Academy Award consideration, after showing the finished film at various festivals. Interested parties should submit one or two sample video links to: HotTip [at] Gmail.com (Animators with connections to Hungary will be given preference.)

Alan C. Baird
http://amazon.com/author/acb