Marcel Ray Duriez's Blog, page 26
June 12, 2017
My Daughter Masturbates – Is That Normal?
My Daughter Masturbates – Is That Normal? 
Deborah Gilboa, Family Physician Share this story 
Image via ShutterstockSo, your daughter masturbates and it’s freaking you out, huh? Guess what: Masturbating is normal at any age. It just plain feels good. And it’s actually a good idea.
There are certain ages where this behavior will peak. You can guess which ages those are, if you think about the ages at which kids are most self-involved. The preschool years and the young-mid teen years are the true heights of existential existence. So for your 3 year old (and for a 13 year old), they live by the precept “If it feels good, do it.”
Should you be worried? No. Should you guide your child? Sure! This behavior is private. This is OK when you’re alone, in the bathroom or your bedroom. This isn’t something to do with other people around.
The important point here is to teach your child discretion without teaching her shame. Learning about her body, what feels good and what all the parts are for, is an important step on the road to being a healthy young adult. You want her to someday be an adult who does not let someone else touch her in a way she doesn’t like. Teaching her both privacy and pride directly affect her ability to protect herself and advocate for herself in the future.
Will your kid be be “overly sexual” later? Masturbation does not lead to promiscuity. Earlier I said it’s a good idea. Why? Teens who (on anonymous surveys) give high scores for masturbation and comfort with themselves often delay sex with others. Perhaps this is because they can explore these feelings alone, perhaps it is because they can better communicate what they do and don’t want to do. Maybe it’s because sex for teens tends to be messy, embarrassing, often terrifying and about 17 seconds from start to finish. The kids who can achieve orgasm alone may realize how much better it is!
All kids have sexual and sensual feelings. We each have a drive to explore these feelings (or we would never have kids). Consider this: would you rather your tween or teen try to satisfy these urges alone or with a friend? Many kids respond to their sex drive with experimentation. Having the knowledge and skills to satisfy their sexual hungers on their own can give them extra strength to avoid sexual situations they aren’t ready for. Pretending our children don’t have an inborn sexual drive will only increase their risk of bad outcomes later, like STDs and teen parenting.
***
Dr. Doom disclaimer: Children who suddenly become much more sexual at any age may be a victim of sexual abuse. This behavior usually represents itself in more than one way. Masturbating alone is not usually such an indicator. Children in this situation will often show behavior change as well, some becoming withdrawn or aggressive, behaving suddenly different towards men/teen boys. If you have ANY concerns about this, speak to your child’s doctor or seek out advocacy in your area.
Remember: Good parents can end up with a child who has been sexually abused by someone. Good parents ask and listen. Good parents look for the truth even if it is hard!
Deborah Gilboa, Family Physician Share this story Image via ShutterstockSo, your daughter masturbates and it’s freaking you out, huh? Guess what: Masturbating is normal at any age. It just plain feels good. And it’s actually a good idea.
There are certain ages where this behavior will peak. You can guess which ages those are, if you think about the ages at which kids are most self-involved. The preschool years and the young-mid teen years are the true heights of existential existence. So for your 3 year old (and for a 13 year old), they live by the precept “If it feels good, do it.”
Should you be worried? No. Should you guide your child? Sure! This behavior is private. This is OK when you’re alone, in the bathroom or your bedroom. This isn’t something to do with other people around.
The important point here is to teach your child discretion without teaching her shame. Learning about her body, what feels good and what all the parts are for, is an important step on the road to being a healthy young adult. You want her to someday be an adult who does not let someone else touch her in a way she doesn’t like. Teaching her both privacy and pride directly affect her ability to protect herself and advocate for herself in the future.
Will your kid be be “overly sexual” later? Masturbation does not lead to promiscuity. Earlier I said it’s a good idea. Why? Teens who (on anonymous surveys) give high scores for masturbation and comfort with themselves often delay sex with others. Perhaps this is because they can explore these feelings alone, perhaps it is because they can better communicate what they do and don’t want to do. Maybe it’s because sex for teens tends to be messy, embarrassing, often terrifying and about 17 seconds from start to finish. The kids who can achieve orgasm alone may realize how much better it is!
All kids have sexual and sensual feelings. We each have a drive to explore these feelings (or we would never have kids). Consider this: would you rather your tween or teen try to satisfy these urges alone or with a friend? Many kids respond to their sex drive with experimentation. Having the knowledge and skills to satisfy their sexual hungers on their own can give them extra strength to avoid sexual situations they aren’t ready for. Pretending our children don’t have an inborn sexual drive will only increase their risk of bad outcomes later, like STDs and teen parenting.
***
Dr. Doom disclaimer: Children who suddenly become much more sexual at any age may be a victim of sexual abuse. This behavior usually represents itself in more than one way. Masturbating alone is not usually such an indicator. Children in this situation will often show behavior change as well, some becoming withdrawn or aggressive, behaving suddenly different towards men/teen boys. If you have ANY concerns about this, speak to your child’s doctor or seek out advocacy in your area.Remember: Good parents can end up with a child who has been sexually abused by someone. Good parents ask and listen. Good parents look for the truth even if it is hard!
June 6, 2017
“Whom and what is a bystander?”
“Whom and what is a bystander?” Whom- being one, so one person- individual, onlooker, passerby, eyewitness, and spectator- what I think this is and what you are referring too; is someone that is looking over something or someone else, they may or may not want to see, doing one thing or another that, is witnessed. Is one person that may not know what to think about, doing in one moment, or another, or no what it is, that she or he would like to do for themselves, or the other person that they are gazing at- and at that given time. This comes down to a fear of what to do next, a reaction of sorts, “Whom and what is a bystander” is some person in the act of harassment, abuse, or violence – but is not one or the other in the perpetrator nor the victim.
May 6, 2017
The New Books out By Duriez
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Contact Us "marcel duriez" Show 1-5 of 5 Results The Underworld by Mr. Marcel Ray Duriez CreateSpace Store / BOOK [image error] A dark and creepy tell of a girl’s young soul being taking and replaced by evil- and to get to the underworld she had to find where it lead. Publication Date: April 1, 2017 List Price: $7.00 You and Me Make Always by Mr. Marcel Ray Duriez CreateSpace Store / BOOK [image error] “U and Me make always” A girl hope’s finding away as she is in her death bed- with the expectation, that she could live on as a normal girl- and have what all girls her age have- and that is a life- of puppy love- toys and boys. It'll make you cry MG book. A pre-teen love story, about feeling. Publication Date: April 7, 2017 List Price: $7.00 Unchanged Sea's by Mr. Marcel Ray Duriez CreateSpace Store / BOOK [image error] I'd never given much thought to how I would be kiss, or who I would become because of it. I thought I'd had reason enough in the last few months to find out just what I wanted of if I need it, however even if I had, dreamed this in my… A long fish-ie tall about teen girl loving a human boy! Clam-it just read... Publication Date: April 7, 2017 List Price: $25.99 Ingredient’s of my Life by Mr. Marcel Ray Duriez CreateSpace Store / BOOK [image error] That's-a Life- no? Based on a true storyTeen Romance A poor and passionate young man falls in love with a young girl, after moving to the U.S of A from Italy, knowing nothing about the ways of the world other the old country, and hard work, you well go through this romances novel, finding your way to old age,... Publication Date: April 9, 2017 List Price: $10.00 Wildest Dreams by Mr. Marcel Ray Duriez CreateSpace Store / BOOK [image error] Burning Books This book is intended for mature audiences. When literature student Marry goes to interview young entrepreneur CEO, she meets an induvial who is lovely, dazzling, and intimidating. The unexperienced, innocent Marry is startled to comprehend she wants this man and, despite his enigmatic reserve,... Publication Date: April 7, 2017 List Price: $27.99 Results per page 15 < Previous | Page:1 | Next >
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Pet- pev’s for the day
Pet- pev’s where and were okay- think of it like this THERE- is like Where, I see this all the time, were for WHERE, fix it God, thanks. Were meaning stood, we’re aka we are. It would be where we stood, at this place and location.
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