Sundi Jo Graham's Blog, page 50

The Greatest Failure

A month ago I quit school. Well, I actually quit in my head. I woke up and told myself, There’s no way I can get caught up with this Algebra class. I’m just going to go in and withdrawal and be done with it. The whole hospital thing had done me in. My mind was set. I was done with school.

photo credit: johnthurm (creative commons)

An hour later I walked out registered for the Fall semester and had 13 days to pass my final Algebra class. There were two tests I had to make up – the last chapter and the final exam. I honestly had no idea how I was going to survive those next two weeks or what I was going to do, but God reminded me he had brought me this far, we weren’t giving up now.

I sought out a tutor. I studied. I fought. I studied. I quit. Then I took the first test.

And I failed. 

Days before that test, Donald Miller had reminded me to ask myself what I wanted to see about that day when I looked back a year later. Did I want to see myself crying and throwing a fit or digging in and agreeing I still had some work to do? I chose the latter.

I had four more days before my final exam and I spent at least 20 hours studying. My tutor clenched her teeth with me. We studied. I fought. We studied. I quit. Then I took the final exam.

And I failed. I mean really failed. Like 32% failed.

Though I had failed on that piece of paper, I knew without a doubt I had just conquered one of the biggest trials in my life to date. You see, I’ve spent the last two years fighting through four Algebra classes. I’ve cried more tears than I care to admit. I quit at least once a week. I even shed a little blood in the process.

But I made it.

I passed the class with a D. To me that was like seeing an A. That grade means I am done with math. I never have to look at an Algebra class again. That grade reminds me of perseverance.

It reminds me of the BIG God that we serve.

These last two years and the foreign language of Algebra will go down in the history books as one of the biggest lessons and trials of my life. If you haven’t figured out yet, math isn’t my subject. I will look back on the day I took my last math final and be reminded of God’s grace and strength as I trudged through the mud of this phase in life.

“If He brings you to it, He’ll get you through it.  - Joyce Meyer

Whatever is happening in your life today that appears as though you’ll never see the end of the tunnel, the end is near. Keep going. Keep taking the next step. I promise it’ll be worth it.

Don’t quit before the miracle happens. 

Though I won’t use 90% of the things I learned through these courses, I take away more than a slight understanding of Polynomials. I walk away with the satisfaction of knowing I completed something. I pushed through. I drew nearer to my Father in Heaven because I knew I couldn’t do this thing on my own.

What do you need to push through today? Comment below…

 

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Warning: Drought Conditions . . . Danger Ahead?

From Sundi Jo: This is a guest post by Abby Lewis. Abby is a massage therapist and the author of Living Still and producer of A Breath~in Stillness. You can read her blog at myjourneytohealing.com and follow her @living_still on Twitter. Learn how you can get a free copy of Living Still this weekend only.

During my walk the other morning, I saw that most of the yards I passed were dying.  There was no color left in the grass or flowers and the leaves on the trees were beginning to turn.  Yet a few houses down, I saw a yard vibrant and alive, full of color and beauty.  It is obvious why one yard is thriving and why the other one isn’t, right?   We all know the answer to that.  One has been nurtured, fed and watered, causing it to thrive while the other one has not, causing it to dry up and begin to die.

I love nature and it breaks my heart to see everything dying during this drought, to see the life and color just fade out of God’s beautiful creation.  But there is something that breaks my heart even more….people in a spiritual drought.

I look around and see exactly what I saw during my walk the other morning.  I see some people thriving, full of joy, peace and love and then I turn around and see others who are stressed, bitter, full of anxiety, depressed, angry and so much more.  I would guess that the ones who are thriving are choosing to spend time with God while the other ones aren’t.  The ones who are full of joy are choosing to feed themselves daily with the word of God while the other ones are listening to their own wisdom.  The ones who are full of peace are choosing to seek the heart of God in the midst of their circumstances while the other ones are relying on themselves to figure it all out.

It breaks my heart so much to see this because 10 years ago I was there.  I experienced what life was like when a person chooses to live far away from God, when a person chooses to live in a spiritual drought.   I was only twenty-four years old, but I was in complete chaos.  I suffered from extreme anxiety, control issues, depression and numerous addictions.  My marriage was falling apart, as were my relationships with my entire family.  My thoughts and words were filled with negativity and lies, and I had accumulated major credit card debt.  As my problems piled up, they began to manifest physically through severe neck and back pain, as well as numbness in my left arm and left side of my face.  I had no love for myself, no joy, no peace and no happiness. My entire life was in complete and utter chaos.

So how did I come out of all of this?  How did I begin to thrive and be so full of life?  How did I become peaceful and joyful?  How did I get out of the spiritual drought I was in?  It really is very simple.  I chose to spend focused time with God each day, and in the midst of it, I learned the practice of “living still.”

What is living still?  Living still is not adopting a life of inactivity or solitude; rather, it is choosing to live in tune with the voice of God in the midst of the inevitable noise around us.  Living still is recognizing that without God, we cannot experience the fullness of life. It is choosing to trust God more than we trust ourselves. Living still is learning to rest in God’s perfect love for us. It is taking the time to listen to His still, small voice with the expectation that He will lovingly guide us, one step at a time, toward freedom. The practice of living still works. Learning to live this way delivered me from the pit and continues to transform my life each day.  And, I am confident that living still can change your life too.

Read Abby Lewis’ powerful, life changing story, in her new book Living Still.

For a limited time, download the Living Still ebook for FREE.

Click Here To Download Your FREE Copy

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Addicted to Pornography

Mark Batterson writes in The Circle Maker,

“If you keep trying, you are not failing. The only way you can fail is if you quit trying. If you’re still trying, even if you’re failing, you’re succeeding.”

photo credit: uwe hermann (creative commons)

Oh how I wish I had read those words seven years ago. It was then I was in the deepest, darkest part of my sexual addiction. I was 21 years old, managing a multi-million dollar company; in a relationship I didn’t belong in, and had just given my life to Christ. To others my life looked good. I had everything I wanted. On the inside, however, I was holding a dark secret.

I’m guest posting over at Dirty Girls Ministries. Click here to read the full post.
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Pray for Me

photo credit: betterworldbooks

Today I’m asking you for a HUGE favor.

I need you to pray for me. 

Tomorrow I will take what I pray and hope is my final math test for the rest of my life. This is two years in the making, and well, to be honest, math is NOT by subject. I have struggled and cried through four classes making it to this point.

My 10-day stint in the hospital put me behind so I’ve had to scurry around and try to get prepared for this thing. I’m nervous.

Tomorrow at 9am I take the test.

Will you pray for me? 

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Homosexuality or False Love: What’s Really Destroying America?

As I write this, I’ve just finished staring at the agenda of a website created by members of a particular Baptist church. Today’s plans are to picket a gay pride parade, followed by plans to surround the funeral of a fallen soldier sharing the “truth” of God’s Word on cardboard signs.

photo credit: ed yourdon ( creative commons)

My stomach turns. My heart breaks at the images of little children forced to wear defiling t-shirts and hold signs up screaming hate towards homosexuals. Honestly, I struggle knowing I need to pray for the parents of those innocent kids whom may never understand the true meaning of grace. Give me a minute. If I don’t pray now my heart may harden too much to do so later. Okay, I’m back.

Homosexuality isn’t destroying America; false love is. Christian lawyers stand in court fighting against same-sex marriage, then climb in their sports cars, head to Starbucks for a mid-morning coffee, and are back in the office. I have to wonder what would change if in the middle of the court room, they would walk over to the gay man or the lesbian wishing to marry their partner and simply shake their hand. What about a hug? How about inviting them to Starbucks and buying their coffee, praying for the opportunity to tell them about Jesus?

Doing so doesn’t approve of their lifestyle, but neither does it put them in a category of something other than a person. Homosexuality isn’t a disease. It doesn’t cover people with leprosy. It’s not contagious. It’s simply a word used to define a lifestyle choice.

I don’t write this to say this particular lifestyle is to be approved of. Homosexuality is a sin. Satan is having a ball in today’s culture as this lifestyle choice is more accepted today than ever before. I’m not saying it’s ok. I’m not saying we should just turn our heads, sit back and do nothing. But the belief that we as Christians are better than homosexuals is far from the truth. It’s time Christians stop pretending so.

A father is separated from his son because his 18-year old comes home one day and announces he is gay. The father looks at his son with eyes that give the message of utter disgust. He tells him he will burn in hell and kicks him out, never speaking to him again. His father hadn’t opened a bible in 30+ years, but didn’t hesitate to stop by the liquor store and pick up a fifth of whiskey and order his wife to have dinner on the table promptly at 6:00 pm or there would be consequences. His sin isn’t considered, but his son’s sin is unforgivable.

Unfortunately, this story happens more than we realize. And what’s even sadder is that it probably happens more in Christian homes. It’s time to turn things around. It’s time to introduce love and grace. It’s time we start taking responsibility for our sins before we point out the sins of others.

People don’t go to hell because they are gay. People go to hell because they don’t know Jesus.

What are we doing to change that?

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Seeking Prayer Warriors

I’m on an interesting journey in life right as my first book, Dear Dad, Did You Know I Was a Princess? is set to be released in Spring 2013. The time will be here before I know it.

photo credit: hyperboreal (creative commons)

In case you’re not familiar with the book, here’s a little info for you.

Every woman has a father in her life, but not every woman has had the relationship with her daddy that God intended. Did you know regardless of your broken relationship with your earthly daddy, there is a Father in Heaven waiting to love you like you’ve never known love before? Join Sundi Jo on the journey that helped her discover the potential of being a beautiful woman in Christ, restored her to wholeness, and brought her to redemption. Discover it’s never too late for you to do the same.

I need your help!

I’m seeking prayer warriors to be a part of the prayer team, not only for this book, but future writing projects as well as other books. This isn’t something I take lightly and I’m looking for those who know how important the power of prayer is.

I’ve created a private Facebook Group for the prayer group and look forward to you being a part of it. For those who join, I’m honored by your willingness to prayer. It means more than you know.

Here are a few prayer requests:

For a smooth copyediting process
That God prepares the hearts of readers
God opens the heart of bookstores prepared to sell the book
Wisdom and strength as I prepare ideas for the next book

Join the prayer group today. 

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7 Ways Encouragement Changes Things

From Sundi Jo: This is a guest post by Jeff Randleman. Jeff if the the youth minister at Brooksville Christian Church, in Brooksville, Florida, husband to Heather, and father to five wonderful kids.   You can read his blog at jeffrandleman.com and follow him @randelman on Twitter.

We just moved over 1000 miles.

We left southern Missouri and moved to the Gulf Coast of Florida.

We don’t know anyone here.  The culture is different from the small-town, mid-western mindset we are used to.  In fact, we’ve barely experienced anything about this state at all.  My wife and I visited Florida once, over ten years ago, on vacation.

That’s it.

And so, uprooting my family (we have five kids, with another on the way) and moving them halfway across the continent was no little thing.  I feel a little of what Abraham must have felt when God called him to leave Ur and go someplace else.  At least, in my case, I knew what our destination was.

We packed up all of our belongings, loaded the trucks, counted all the kids to make sure we weren’t missing someone, and left everything and everyone we knew behind.

In Florida, everything is brand new.  We are starting fresh, in a new church, with new people, making new friends.

Needless to say, we felt very alone.

We needed something.

We needed encouragement.

Encouragement changes things.

In the midst of our feeling alone, several people came alongside us and started to build new relationships with us.  People started to help us feel like we belong here.

That’s the point of encouragement.  It builds up.  It provides a support system.  It undergirds you so you can face the challenges of the world knowing that you aren’t facing them on your own.

Encouragement changes things.

Encouragement changes your perspective

Moving can be overwhelming.  We definitely felt that.  Right after we arrived in Florida, my new co-worker got sick, leaving me in the office on my own for the first several days.  We were looking at a mountain of boxes in our home that didn’t seem to be diminishing. Our kids were emotional, missing their friends back in Missouri.  My wife wasn’t feeling well because of the new pregnancy.

I felt like life was beating me down.  One night, I stepped outside and leaned against my car in the driveway and just cried.  The questions burning in my mind were centered around the theme of “Did I do the right thing?”

But a few days later, I went to lunch with the other staff member, he showed me around town, we sat in my office and talked about almost everything.  All of a sudden, my perspective shifted.  I realized that I wasn’t alone here.

Encouragement keeps you going

I confess, I was almost to the point of considering moving back to Missouri.  Even though my position there had already been filled, we still have a house there.  The first few weeks after this move were some of the lowest I’ve experienced in a long tome.

As these thoughts were going through my head, we met and started getting to know some of the people in our new church.  And the simple things, a pat on the back, the “‘m glad you’re here” statements, one person brought me some incredible coffee; all these things served to infuse a little life back into me, little by little.

Just knowing that there was someone in my corner was greatly uplifting.

Encouragement builds hope

Once I started to see that my family and I weren’t alone in this endeavor, it was easier to start looking toward the future.  It was easier to start seeing the possibilities and the potential that I saw when we were considering this move and if it was God’s leading.

Hope provides the catalyst to see beyond the moment.  Hope allows us to see the “what ifs” around us, and to grasp them.

With encouragement come the ability to look to the future with positivity, knowing that if God placed me here, he will provide for me here.

Encouragement provides a blessing

Psalm 31:24 tells us to “be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all you who hope in the Lord.”

Encouragement gives me so much more than just stamina, or perspective, or hope.  It does all of that, and more.  God’s blessings in my life seem to take the most tangible form sometimes in the form of encouragement.

I have strived to build several relationships in my life with people who I know will be a source of encouragement to me.  I don’t want them to tell me how good I am; I want them to remind me of how good God is.  I need them to help me refocus so that I can see God’s work more clearly.

When I felt completely alone after our move, one of these people called me.  It was completely unexpected, but it was exactly what I needed.  And after a few minutes of conversation, I could feel my spirits lifting.

Encouragement is empowering

When I’m experiencing encouragement, I feel like I can take of the world.  Encouragement empowers.

Once we got beyond the first few weeks in this new church opportunity, and once we started to build a few new relationships, all of a sudden, things took a turn.  The opportunities seemed richer, deeper, and pregnant with possibilities.  I’m looking at the next several months of this ministry and can see bright things instead of the darkness I feared.

And as a result, I become more of an encourager as well.  When God uses others to build me up, he provides what is needed for me to pass it on to still others.

Encouragement changes things for the better

Ralph Waldo Emerson said “Trust men and they will be true to you; treat them greatly and they will show themselves great.” That is what encouragement is.  It changes things.  And it changes them for the better.

Goethe said it similarly:  ”Treat a man as he appears to be and you make him worse.  But treat a man as if he already were what he potentially could be, and you make him what he should be.”

Encouragement changes things for the better.

So, who needs to be encouraged?

S. Truett Cathy, founder of Chick-fil-A, said it best:  ”How do you identify someone who needs encouragement?  That person is breathing.”

That statement tells me two things.  I need encouragement.  And so do you.

So build relationships that are encouraging.  And be an encourager to others.  It really will change things.

Do you need some encouragement right now?  How can you develop the ability to be a better encourager? Leave your thoughts in the comment section below.

 

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Hiking the Inca Trail

Machu Picchu is located in Peru, 7,970 feet above sea level. From the pictures, it looks like a place I would love to visit. It actually wasn’t discovered by the outside world until 1911. There doesn’t seem to be words to describe it.

photo credit: jlcalgary (creative commons)

There are two ways to get to this “New Wonder of the World.” According to Carlos in Donald Miller’s book, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, “You can take a train and then a bus, and you can hike a mile to the Sun Gate.”

or…

You can walk along the world-famous Inca Trail, a 28-mile hike taking you through villages, forests, valleys, and mountains. It takes four days and one fit body to make it there. (Yes, you read that right. 28 miles!)

My first choice would be the easy route. I like things easy, as most of us do. But today I’m applying this to my life. I want an easy life, but it’s not turning out that way. I would love the story of my life to be smooth, but it hasn’t been, and I have a feeling there’s going to be more bumpy roads along the way.

Donald Miller talks about writing his story as he faced the challenges of hiking the Inca Trail to see the majesty of God’s creation known as Machu Picchu. But it wasn’t easy.

It wasn’t only the pain of the trail that made you appreciate the city; it was the pain of the landscape, steep in the mountains of the Andes, spiraled towers of natural rock, cliffs dropping for a thousand feet to the river. And the houses, the weight of them and the perfection of their lines, spoke of the many dead Incas who gave their lives to build the city.”

Right now the story of my life is on the Inca Trail. I’m on a 28-mile hike that seems like it will never end, when I’d much rather be on the bus ride that will get me to the city quicker. My legs are tired. The rain dripping through the tent on the campground is going to kill my allergies. I’d love to just sit in a restaurant with a steak and a beer. Why can’t I just wake up and be at the Sun Gate?

Because life doesn’t work that way. 

There are valleys and mountains and cliffs, oh my! There are days we’ll be tired and think we can’t take one more step. But we will. We will scream and fight and question. Then God will give us a push and we’ll take one more step.

Perseverance.

Right now I don’t feel like I’m writing such a great story in my life. But I know that can’t be true. I know it because God’s done letting me take the bus. I knew there was a reason for those hiking boots that have been setting in my closet for the last year. (I wore them out once, but not to hike. I think I just wanted people to see I had a pair.)

Right now I’m hiking. As I lie in this bed, wondering how long I’ll have the strength to push through this day, I’m taking another step through the valley. I just can’t see it yet, but that’s where faith comes in. Believing I’m part of a greater story. A story that no longer involves a character taking the bus.

Miller wrote, “The pain made the city more beautiful. The story made us different characters than if we’d showed up at the ending an easier way.”

That’s true for all of us. That’s true for those of us who feel like we’re never going to get to the other side of the mountain to see the beauty that waits for us. But we’ll see the end differently because of it.

I will appreciate life more because of this hike. I write that now and pray I still believe it tomorrow. My story will be greater because of it. I don’t know what mile marker I’m on. I hope tomorrow I reach mile 28. Truthfully, there are days I feel like I just started the hike and there are others I swear I’ve hiked the mountain twice.

Regardless, it’s making me a better character in a greater story. 

What story are you writing? Where are you on the Inca Trail? 

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Living Still [Book Review]

I get fidgety when I hear the word “stillness.” I immediately think of silence and my mind starts to freak out with all the thoughts that will consume me if it gets too quiet. I sleep with a fan for the love of Pete.

I used to think like that anyway, before I really got an understanding of what stillness is through Abby Lewis’ book Living Still. (Okay, I still think that way sometimes, but I’m getting better)

Lewis takes you through four parts of learning what it’s really like to be still: Spirit, Mind, Body, and Free to Live.

I learned that stillness looks different for everyone. For example, for Abby, stillness is sitting in nature, feeling God’s love through a ladybug. Stillness for me comes in different forms. I’m a music lover. I seem to think more clearly when there is music in my ear, especially worship music. As Lewis challenges readers to find what keeps them still enough to hear from God, I was excited to know that God and I could have some great conversations, even when there’s noise. That doesn’t mean there aren’t times he wants me to turn the noise off, but I love knowing he reaches us all differently.

Stillness allows me to keep my ears in tune to God’s still, small voice so He can guide and direct me in the way I should go.”

It was a convicting read for me really. We live in a busy world, and unfortunately, many of the choices I make contribute to even more busyness. I don’t want that. I want peace. Calm. Stillness. But I can’t find it if I’m not willing to slow down enough to listen to God. Living Still provides you with the tools necessary to get back on the right path in having a calmer, well-balanced life.

Here’s what Abby says will happen if you make the choice to be still before God:

You will begin to walk in peace as you rely on God’s strength, wisdom and direction rather than your own.” 

Why didn’t I think of that? Oh yeah, probably because I’ve been too busy to slow down. It’s not a just a one time read. It’s a book to go back to again and again, because it’s so easy to get caught up in chaos of today.

Not only have I enjoyed the book, but I’ve actually been witness to Abby Lewis living out the words she’s written. She’s my massage therapist and I’m constantly seeing her practice what she preaches. She’s pretty good at noticing when I’m following the busy path versus the still path too. It’s great to see an author put her words to action, which makes me only want to share this book with you more.

If you want to learn how to find stillness in the day in and day out, hustle and bustle of this busy world, I highly recommend you read the book. Warning: there are a few things in the book that may slap you with a good dose of reality.

In what ways do you enjoy stillness with God? 

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A Sucky Part of the Story [Article]

I’m tired. My body is tired. My mind. My heart.

For the last month I’ve visited hospitals, doctors, and endured more tests than I care to talk about. The result? Still no answers.

To be honest, I’m having my moments. I’m swinging on the teeter totter of trust and lack thereof. There are days I don’t want to smile at one more person. Other days I feel like I’m going to go crazy if I don’t get out of this bed and see another human being. There are times I just really don’t feel like being positive about the outcome of things. I guess that means I really am human.

I’m guest posting over at Prodigal Magazine today. Click here to read the full post. 

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