Sundi Jo Graham's Blog, page 48

Pursuing My Own Interests

I’ve been disobedient. I went to bed the other night knowing it, but thought I’d give myself one more night to “sleep on it.” I woke up the next morning and decided enough was enough.

I wasn’t being disobedient on purpose. Sometimes I get so caught up in my own ideas I forget to ask God what He thinks. I get an idea and run with it; only to find out He didn’t give me the thumbs up. Someday I’m convinced I’ll get better at this.

It’s so easy to do though isn’t it? We get a great idea, tell ourselves there’s no way we were smart enough to come up with it ourselves and therefore assume God’s hands must be all over it. I’m not the only one who has done this right?

I’m guest posting today for my new friend Joseph over at The Story of Hope.

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The Secret to Weight Loss

There is a secret to getting healthy. It’s a well-kept secret, really. People from all walks of life wake up everyday desiring to know the secret.

Women look in the mirror, see a person they don’t want to know, and desperately seek the answer to the secret. Teenage girls get laughed at, only to go home later and journal about their desire to know the secret. Men want to know the secret too.

I’m letting you in on the secret.

I’m guest posting for Tammy today over at Embrace Your Story.

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Learning to Live in the Uncomfortable

Ken Davis asks in his book, Fully Alive: Lighten Up and Live – A Journey that Will Change Your LIfe,

“How has your life changed in the past few years because of the power of Christ living in you?”

Before I answer the question, let me say this. Christianity is not easy. Had I known what trials I would go through prior to surrendering my life to Christ, I’m not sure I would have signed up. Does that mean I regret becoming a Christian? No way! I wouldn’t trade it for anything. But it’s hard.

You can’t have a true relationship with Jesus Christ without your life changing. If you’ve been a Christian for several years now and your life is still comfortable, I recommend you having a talk with God and reanalyzing your situation.

I’m guest posting today over at the Scenic Route.

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On the Tablet of My Heart

From Sundi Jo: This is a guest post by Pilar Arsenec. She is a legal secretary by day and a writer by night. In her spare time she enjoys spending time with her family, reading, writing, singing and cooking. You can find her blog, Ordinary Servant at www.ordinaryservant.com.

In 1995, I was very ill. Doctors didn’t know what was wrong with me. I spent almost an entire year visiting different doctors and enduring a variety of tests. I remember sitting in yet another doctor’s office awaiting the test results.  At this point, I was worried, hopeless and expecting the worst. I had reached the end of myself and began to pray.

photo credit: daintytime (creative commons)

In my prayer, I had made a promise to the Lord, that if He healed me, I would write for Him. God answered my prayer and performed a miracle. My results came back and everything was fine. I felt better too.

However, the promise I made that day is still looming. I am now 45 years old and I still haven’t written my story. I continue to hear the whisper of God nudging me to write. But I also hear other voices.

These voices are relentless, loud and fierce. Their names are Fear and Doubt. They have been my faithful companions through the years in my battle to write.

Fear tells me, “You can’t do it,” while Doubt says, “You aren’t good enough.”

I have prayed consistently to try to silence their voices. But to no avail. I finally cried out to the Lord, What I should do? He said, “Write my answer.” I thought to myself, what does the Lord mean by this?

Fear and Doubt continued to make it impossible for me. They bombarded and taunted me with their threats.

You will never measure up to any of the great writers. You shouldn’t even bother trying to write. You’re not a good writer. You’re not even good enough. You know how many other people are better than you? You think you can write? Why don’t you do yourself a favor and give up already?

I slowly felt myself caving in… perhaps they are right. Maybe I should give up.

It was in that moment, the Holy Spirit showed up and encouraged me to resist the voices of Fear and Doubt. He did so by reminding me of His precious promises:

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)
We are more than conquerors through him that loved us. (Romans 8:37)
We sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus. (Ephesians 2:6)
I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. (Jeremiah 1:5)
I have loved you with an everlasting love. (Jeremiah 31:3)
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. (Philippians 4:6)
Everything is possible for him who believes. (Mark 9:23)
Have faith in God. (Mark 11:22)
If you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.” (Matthew 17:20)

My mind, heart and spirit were overtaken by His love and filled with His peace. Fear and Doubt were silenced by His Word. It was then I realized, His answer was written on the tablet of my heart all along.

What relentless voices are you listening to that need to be drowned out by the whispers of God? Leave a comment below…

Living Fully Alive [Book Review]

 

“When did we stop living life and start letting life happen to us?”

What kind of crazy person asks that question? The kind of person that wants you to step out of the box of your comfortable life and starting doing something to change the situation you’re in, that’s who.

His name is Ken Davis and I want to slap him for writing the book Fully Alive: Lighten Up and Live – A Journey that Will Change Your LIfe. First, I want to hit him for causing me to stay up late because I couldn’t put the book down. Second, I couldn’t read it without being convicted. I took a gazillion notes and could probably go back for more.

I don’t really want to hit him. (Okay, maybe a little.) Seriously though, this book couldn’t have come along at a better time in my life. I’m honored to have this book in my hands. Davis’ words have caused me to open my eyes a little wider and reevaluate the situations I’m in. I’m learning to really live fully alive versus just accepting life. 

Here are some things you can expect to learn from this book:

There are benefits to pain
Being alive is a matter of attitude
Launching your dreams vs. burying them
Standing helpless vs. taking action
You’ve got moss growing on your butt (That chapter alone is worth the price of the book)
Stop making excuses
Persistence pays off
Pushing yourself vs. punishing yourself
Guilt sucks
Lighten up
It’s time to take risks

That was more than a few I know.

In the book, Ken Davis talks about his pit of depression. You wouldn’t think for being a comedian depression would be his thing, but it certainly was. You’ll learn how he climbed out of that pit, how he got off the couch and started getting healthy, and how he’s really living fully alive.

Oh, and he talks about the most important thing as well, faith. We’re in big trouble without it.

“Faith is taking the risk to put your life on the line for what you say you believe.”

I encourage you to read the book. Read through it slowly. Stop and absorb what he’s speaking to you. I don’t believe anyone can read the book and not get a message from it, no matter where you are in life.

Thank you Ken Davis for your willingness to share, for your passion to change lives, and for adding laughter to the messiest of situations.

Get your copy of Living Fully Alive today.

 

 

The Table Rock Freedom Center Needs Your Help

Yesterday I celebrated a BIG day. It was my two-year anniversary. Two years ago I completed the Table Rock Freedom Center. It was one of THE hardest, if not hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. (You can view my testimony at the completion ceremony here.)

A few of the TRFC graduates.

For 365 days I lived with alcoholics, drug addicts, prostitutes, and more. I shared a closet with women from all walks of live. We ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner together. We cried together. Screamed. Fought. Cussed. Laughed. Celebrated.

Our struggles were out in the open for each other to see, and though it was messy, it was beautiful. Why? Because redemption was present. 

The Table Rock Freedom Center is a Christ-centered, residential recovery program for women with life controlling issues, including addictions, depression, and trauma from sexual abuse. It’s a discipleship program where women get to the heart of what’s really going on in their lives. Addiction is simply a symptom of a deeper problem. TRFC gets to the root of the problem.

I walked through the doors of the Table Rock Freedom Center on August 25, 2009 scared to death. I was depressed and ready for life to be over. I had barely slept in days. I refused to grieve the death of my father. I hadn’t dealt with the trauma of being sexually abused. But God said it was time.

For one year I got to the nitty gritty of the real problems. I broke down walls of pride and fear. I went head to head with my anger and depression. I learned how to stop being a victim of my past and started walking in victory. I learned how to be a follower of Jesus Christ versus simply a believer. God worked through the mess and turned ashes into beauty. I’m forever grateful.

With all that said, TRFC needs your help. The organization is operated strictly on donations. Because they are a Christ-centered program, government funding is out of the question. This is a tough month for them financially and I’m calling on you to help them keep the doors open.

Would you consider making a donation to this life-changing organization? 

Whether it’s $1 or $500, anything will help. To watch a place where my life was flipped upside down in a good way struggle so much, breaks my heart.

You can donate online or mail a payment to:

Table Rock Freedom Center

PO Box 2423

Branson West, MO 65737
Click here to donate online .

To learn more about the Table Rock Freedom Center and what they do, visit their website here.

Every penny will help and I thank you in advance for your generous heart and willingness to help this organization.

 

Living Alive vs. Accepting Life

There are just some things in life that suck. There are circumstances we become a part of that are out of our control and that too sucks. So, what do we do about it?

photo credit: ken davis

Do we accept those circumstances or do we simply live with them? 

God has been showing me lately that there is a difference. In Ken Davis’ new book, Fully Alive: Lighten Up and Live – A Journey that Will Change Your LIfe, Ken asks this question:

“When did we stop living life and start letting life happen to us?”

For three years I’ve had consistent health issues that have shaken my world, tested my faith, taught me more than I knew was possible about perseverance, and showed me the never-ending grace of our God. I’ll admit at times my attitude has not been that of which God desires. I’ve blamed. Screamed. Cried. Cussed. Fought. Of course I’ve asked why a million times at least.

After more doctor’s visits than I care to discuss, it’s hard not to get weary. I got tired of fighting. I got tired of trying. So I decided to just accept what was happening to me. I guess I would have to come to terms with the fact that I’d feel like an 80-year-old in the body of a 28-year-old for the rest of my life. I started to accept that things were just what they were and that was that.

But God wasn’t ready to accept that. He’s been slowly changing my heart and my attitude.

I’m learning there’s a difference between acceptance and living with our circumstances.

Accepting what was happening to me was a cop-out. A reason to stop fighting. A reason to let fear keep me from living. Recently, God has shown me through Davis’ book is that acceptance is not the way to live.

Living is the way to live.

What exactly do I mean by that? How is accepting circumstances not living?

But I Can’t Sleep

One of the symptoms I have is insomnia. I used to lie awake at night and ask God why He wouldn’t let me sleep. Since I’ve started to live with the fact that insomnia is a symptom, I’m choosing to embrace it. It’s 1:25 am right now and I’m writing this blog. I’m writing it with a smile, because I know by doing so, I’m choosing to live. God and I have some amazing prayer times together during sleepless nights. When I get tired again I’ll go back to sleep. Until then, I’m going to live fully alive.

I’m Too Tired

I struggle with fatigue. Things that “normal” people my age do sometimes tends to wipe me out. There are days the life seems to quickly drain out of me and I need a nap. For a while I told myself this is the way it would be forever. I accepted that. Now, I’m choosing to get up and take a nap when the fatigue hits. I set my alarm for an hour and plan for that to be enough time to power me back up. I wake up, refocus my priorities, and start to live fully alive again.

It Hurts Too Much

My body hurts. I can easily use it as an excuse not to exercise. I was using it as an excuse. But when I realized after my recent stay in the hospital that I had gained 23 lbs. back, I was not okay with that. God and I had come way too far for that. Now I tell myself I will go to the gym, even if it’s only for five minutes. I can do it through the pain. Most times, an hour later and I feel so empowered I don’t want to stop. There’s something about sweating on the treadmill and the elliptical that make me feel fully alive.

I know my life won’t be like this forever. I’m in a season – a very long season. I’m trusting in God’s healing power. Whether that’s through a miracle, or He uses a doctor to fix me, I don’t know. But I’m refusing to keep accepting that this is the way life will be.

Instead, I’m going to live with my circumstances and let God guide me, however long that takes.

“Persistence, commitment, and hope lead to life. Obstacles and challenges simply make it more interesting.” – Ken Davis

In what area(s) of your life do you need to start living fully alive? Leave a comment below… 
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Letting Go of Envy

From Sundi Jo: This is a guest post by Emily Wenstrom.  Emily is a professional writer working in marketing and public relations. She blogs about creativity in art and career at Creative Juicer. She also recently launched wordhaus, a short story zine built for the digital age, now seeking submissions. Follow her on Twitter at @emilywenstrom. Want to submit your guest post? Click here for the details.

I hate the Olympics.

Growing up, I was a swimmer. It was a big part of my identity–three different teams took up significant parts of my mornings, evenings, weekends and summers.

photo credit: kwinz1 (creative commons)

Then in 2000, I was watching the amazing Amanda Beard at the summer Olympics, and it hit me: she was only a couple older than me. She’d already won medals in the last Olympics, at 14 years old. She was up there on the world stage, and I was at home on my couch.

Ever since, the Olympics, a messy mix of emotions. I still get that sense of wonder and awe. But I also can’t quite let go of that sense that I don’t cut it.

These days, as a writer, I get a similar feeling at Barnes and Noble as I skim shelf after shelf of successful authors.

It’s petty. It’s egotistical. It’s stupid. And it gnaws at me all the same. I have a natural competitive tendency, and a hunger to constantly better myself. Those qualities can be a double-edged sword, and they often work against me in these moments

And I’ve had enough of it. It’s exhausting.

So I’m making some changes—I am determined to be a more positive person. Here’s how I’m doing it:

I’m starting a gratitude journal.

At the end of each day, I write down five things I’m grateful for in my notebook. It’s training my brain to think in positive terms.

I’m arguing with my inner dialogue.

I get caught up in comparisons, often ridiculous ones. With swimming I compared myself to an Olympian. At work I compare myself managers and seasoned experts. With writing, I compare myself to the masters. I’m learning to catch myself when I do this, and to talk myself back down to reason.

I’m looking back to where I came from.

It’s easy to look up to the top of a mountain and feel it will never get any closer. But if you dare to look down to the ground, you’ll see how much higher up you’ve gotten. Progress is slow. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t happening. And heck, maybe I’ll see someone behind me who could use a hand up every now and then.

And you know what else I’ve been doing? I’ve been following the Olympics this summer. Not religiously, but I flip to it when I’ve got some downtime at night. It turns out, when I stop worrying about how I measure up, I am free to start marveling at their amazing feats. And it starts to be kind of fun.

Yes, even the swimmers.

What are you holding onto today that you need to let go of? Leave a comment below…

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Letting Go of Envy is a post from: Sundi Jo

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Run Your Race with Confidence

From Sundi Jo: This is a guest post by Maria Keckler. She is a writer, speaker and the editor and publisher of Stories from the Vine. She blogs about leading through living, writing, and publishing a phenomenal story at http://mariakeckler.com. Follow her on Twitter. @MariaKeckler. Want to submit your guest post? Click here for the details.

What race have you been called to run?

photo credit: rennet stowe (creative commons)

I was fifteen when Mom uprooted our family from our home in Mexico City to give us a new start, three years after Dad passed away. I was terrified.  I was starting ninth grade and didn’t speak English.  Losing my friends and home didn’t occupy my mind—only the reality that unless I learned English, my dream of one day becoming a teacher and writer would die forever.

Urgency became my middle name.  I started a race against time, and I could not afford to lose any.  It was all up to me — or so I thought.

The race began with admirable determination. Daily I memorized irregular verbs, idiomatic expressions, awkwardly spelled words, and cumbersome sentence structures. My Spanish-English dictionary was my bible.  I read everything in English I could find—cookbooks, gardening books, national geographic, Reader’s Digest….  I read aloud, desperately trying to duplicate the perfect pronunciation of conversations I stored in my mind.

But Improvement wasn’t happening fast enough.  I was a junior in high school and was still required to take special English classes when others were already choosing a college.  As I glanced into my imaginary future, I became anxious and depressed as I tried to gauge how far behind them I would be if I didn’t catch up.

I had become a keen observer of body language, so I caught the eyes rolling impatiently or lips mouthing my defective pronunciation, during mandatory oral presentations, or sighs from sympathetic students, scrunching their foreheads, straining to understand my unintelligible syllables.  And discouragement was quickly devouring my resolve.

Then summer came, and I began looking for a job to help with expenses.

My first interview was my mother’s answer to prayer. It was for a receptionist position at a doctor’s office in Los Angeles.  They wanted someone smart enough to file patient charts with minimal supervision, nice enough to greet patients, and fast enough to type over 55 words per minute.

A perfect fit.  A miracle.  A once in a lifetime opportunity—these were my mother’s words, words she kept repeating during our bus ride back to our apartment.  I could see despair in her expression when I said, “I have to think about it.”

“Don’t you see?” She said. “You can wear pantyhose and dresses and look pretty and clean all the time.”

But there was a problem.  The doctor’s office catered to the L.A. Hispanic community… and everyone spoke Spanish. Doctors. Nurses. Patients. I had an ominous feeling… if I said yes to the perfect job in the pretty office, I’d be missing out on something far more valuable.

So I showed up to the second interview. It was for a cashier/server position at a fast-food restaurant in a trendy, upscale mall, bordering Beverly Hills.  The job would be far from glamorous.  In addition to helping customers at the register, I’d be expected to finish my evening shift scraping pans, cleaning greasy counters, stocking a walk-in freezer, and mopping sticky floors—but I’d be forced to speak English if I made it past the four week trial period.

I kept that job for a year, and it gave me the confidence to reach for more possibilities: a sales associate job at a major department store… a teller position that turned into a string of promotions over many years at a national bank… junior college… four year college… graduate school—as an English Major.

“Wow!”  People say when they have only watched or heard this “movie trailer” version of the race.

Am I saying it hasn’t been a great journey? Well, let’s say it hasn’t been the race I envisioned. You see, if it had been all up to me, it would’ve been a sprint, a quick 6-8 year dash to the finish line where all my childhood dreams would be waiting for me.

In reality, it has been more like a marathon—a twenty-five year race that it’s not over yet.  Along the way, God had to slow me down, so He could give me an extreme mind and soul makeover.

This marathon has been laden with detours (to correct colossal mistakes I made when I tried to do it my way), pauses (to recover from injuries when against better judgment, I tried to run too fast), slow walks (to catch my breath and strengthen my muscles again), long rest-stops (to reassess my perspective about what is important—time to be a mother… a wife… a daughter… a sister…a friend… a follower of Christ), and some nice and easy sprints (when He gave me fair weather once again).

What has your race been like? Do you feel discouraged by the pace of your race?   Disheartened by what seems like a devastating detour?  Exhausted by running too fast for too long?  Depressed because you feel time is running out?

I have great news!  God has a perfect pace for the race He has called you to run. In fact “He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus” (Phil. 1:6b).  So no matter how fast you think you can run your race, it will take as long as it needs to be.

Let’s labor heartily and use the gifts and passion God has placed in our hearts every minute of every day.  Let’s reach for our dreams, for they reveal the perfect race He wants us to run. But let’s not rush the race and inadvertently miss these coveted words: “Well done, thou good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:21).

The world whispers, “Time is running out.”  Jesus says, “We have eternity together!”

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in the wood, and I -

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

~ Robert Frost

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Run Your Race with Confidence is a post from: Sundi Jo

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Living with Drug Addicts, Prostitutes, and Alcoholics

My life was already wrecked, but I had no idea I still needed to be wrecked. I’m learning there are two very different versions to this idea. The good vs. the bad.

In 2009, I was a mess, a wreck. I wasn’t sleeping, taunted by nightmares. My depression was so overwhelming and the refusal to grieve the death of my father six months prior was taking its toll on me.

I was begging for God to show up, but I didn’t see him. I couldn’t feel him.

Then life changed. I don’t mean changed as in I slowly started to recognize my life was heading down a very dangerous path. I mean “changed” as in crashed.

Broken. Unraveled. Wrecked.

Read the rest of my post, “A Call to Be Different” for Jeff Goins over here… 

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Thanks for reading. I'm so blessed you chose to stop by Lead. Love. Laugh.

Living with Drug Addicts, Prostitutes, and Alcoholics is a post from: Sundi Jo

P.S. YOU'RE AWESOME!