Bryce Moore's Blog, page 259

My GPS Nightmare/Dream

[image error] So allow me to outline the situation. I'm going to be toodling around Europe in a (very small, hopefully not *too* small) rental car. I will be driving places I've never driven before, following traffic laws that I only vaguely understand, on roads that might well be treacherous and filled with drivers who prefer to drive somewhat closer to the speed of light than I do.



I will need a GPS.



I've thought about this a fair bit. People got along just fine without GPS devices for centuries. Could I get by without one for three weeks? Well, people got by without modern medicine, too. That doesn't mean you decide to skip out on surgery when the need arises. A GPS is a must.



I have a GPS. It works great. Takes me all over America just fine. However, it doesn't have the maps for Europe. I could buy the maps for Europe.



It would cost $99. Just for the maps. I looked at how much a brand new GPS would cost with the maps for Europe already loaded. $172. I looked at how much it would cost to just rent a GPS with the car for 3 weeks. $120.



This, my friends, is a racket. A GPS racket. And it's especially irksome when you think that GPS devices are really becoming a thing of the past. In a perfect world--my dream world--I would have a smartphone with a GPS app on it. My phone would work anywhere I had signal, anywhere in the world. I looked into trying this for this trip--if I'm spending $100+ on a GPS, why not get an iPhone or something. Something I'll use later on.



I could do it. All I'd need to do is get the iPhone, make sure it's unlocked, go to Germany, get a SIM card with data on it--and roaming--and hope it works right. But those SIM cards ain't cheap, and I don't want to be troubleshooting technology when all I'm really trying to do is drive from Frankfurt to Stuttgart. I could have also switched phone plans to add international data and roaming, but I'd be then paying through the nose for that.



So I bought a new GPS. Sheesh. For those of you wondering, I got a Garmin 2475. It's the transatlantic model--has North America and Europe maps preloaded, plus some nice bells and whistles. But all I really got it for were the maps. It's an upgrade from my last GPS, at least. So not a complete waste. And now I'll have current American maps loaded on it, too. That's something.



But still. I dream that one day, all these little devices--all these little niche markets companies have dug out for themselves--are done away with. Data is cheap and easily obtained across country boundaries. But for that to happen, laws need to change. In many many countries. And I think I'm only dreaming. And it's frustrating, because the technology is there. There's no technical reason that can't be happening today. Now. It's just all this legal red tape and fees and money.



Sigh.



In other news, does anyone want a well-cared for GPS? I'm selling one, if anyone does. Four years old, but it still gets you from Point A to Point B. :-)

Book Review: The Stand

The Stand by Stephen King

My rating: 4 of 5 stars



I started this book back when I was in my twenties. Put it down after around fifty pages or so. (Can't remember exactly.) At the time, it just seemed to go nowhere. I didn't get wrapped up in the characters or plot at all. So I set it aside and didn't think much more of it, except to always wonder when it was referred to as one of King's best books.



In the intervening time, I've become a big Stephen King fan, and so I finally decided to give the book another go.



I really enjoyed it.



Part of that is, no doubt, due to the fact that I've changed as a reader. I must have. My response to the text was completely different. The characters were very well drawn, the plot was riveting (albeit a bit slow and preachy at times, hence the 4 stars instead of 5)--it's a great read.



Another part of how much I enjoyed it is likely due to the fact that there's been this huge post-apocalyptic trend in literature lately, and this book is a great example of that. No zombies involved, but there might as well be. It takes place in 1990 (the exact date has been switched, depending on the version you get. It's supposed to be the near future, regardless.) A military-made superflu escapes into the wild, killing over 99% of the population. The book traces the way society devolves, and then what happens to society as the survivors try to pick up the pieces.



One of King's strengths (to me) is his ability to focus on characters. I really enjoy how he basically comes up with a situation, comes up with a cast of well-rounded characters, and then lets the characters loose into that situation. They take it from there. You have the feeling that the plot is inevitable. The characters do what they would naturally do, and they deal with the consequences. Rinse and repeat. It seems easy, but having written some books myself, I know how hard it really can be. The Stand is an excellent example of this.



I will say I was slightly let down by the ending. It seemed to be building toward a fantastic climax, and . . . I don't want to spoil anything for you. I just thought it was going to zig, and it zagged instead. Still good, just . . . different. The book is definitely pretty harsh. Language, violence--the whole nine yards. So avoid if you don't want to read anything disturbing. This *is* Stephen King, folks. But then again, King books rarely feel like horror to me. They feel like . . . people in bad situations dealing with them as best as they can. I know that sounds strange, but I guess the difference to me is that it's not shock for shock's sake. It's much different (in my opinion) than the slasher horror flicks they have today.



Anyway. Highly recommended. But it's a really long read, so be in for a long haul. But it's a fun haul, so that makes up for it.




View all my reviews

When Characters Go Bad: Vodnik Chapter Thirty-One

We're winding down to the end of these chapter commentaries. Just a few more to go, and they should all be pretty spoilerific, so stay away from them if you haven't read the book. Two tidbits for you today, both Ohnica-centric.



First up, she didn't appear in the climax at all in the first few drafts of the book. She popped up here and there earlier to talk to Tomas, but at the end, he was on his own. How then, did he manage to defeat Ajax? Well, in the first draft of the book, he discovered (in the climax--in this very scene) that he could shoot fireballs from his burned arm.



I'm not making this up, even though it pains me to admit it.



You just can't do that with a superpower. Have it not really foreshadowed well at all, reveal it in the big finale, and use it to have the main character defeat one of the big obstacles? No no no no no.  It would be like if Superman suddenly discovered he could turn back time, and solved a major plot point by . . . oh wait. Anyway. I did it, which means that at some point in time, it seemed like a good idea to me. (Something I've had to admit time and time again when I look at previous drafts of novels.)



And looking at how the scene turned out, I'm very pleased with the changes I made. Why have Tomas develop a superpower when there's a character with that power already present in the book? Duh. Which leads me to my second point:



Ohnica.



She was not always evil. Right up until the final draft, she was ambiguous. Maybe good. Maybe evil. Definitely hard to understand. (Sort of the point of most of these supernatural Slovak fairytale creatures). But I had to take a stand one way or another. What had happened to Tomas when he was a kid? I wanted that question answered. And the answer is that Ohnica tried to char him to death, and the Vodnik saved him. (Saved him mainly because he wanted to drown him later, it's true. Does that still count as a good deed? "I only saved his life because I wanted to murder him myself." I'll leave that one up to you/.)



So Ohnica's bad. Although even as I write that, I feel like I need to qualify it. She's not bad. Not evil. She's a fire vila. She loves fire. Loves destruction. Loves burning things to the ground. And thanks to Tomas, she's now loose on the city of Trencin. If I ever get to write a sequel to this book, you can be darned sure she's going to play a role in it somewhere. The history between her and Tomas's family goes back too far for her not to.



Hopefully I get to tell you about it someday.



In the meantime, that's all I've got for this week. Thanks for reading, folks!

Prepping for the European Trip--In Which I Stress-Vent

(WARNING: Yes. I'm complaining about my trip to Europe. Yes, I realize that this is really ridiculous. I know it comes off as "Oh gee, the poor guy has to go to Europe for Christmas. Let's all cry really hard for him. He's got it so bad." But you know what? This is my blog. I get to write about what I want to write about. And right now, this is what's stressing me out. I'm excited for the trip, but still . . . )



Our trip to Europe is approaching. Rapidly. As in, lots faster than I thought it was. Which is all fine and good on one hand. I mean, who doesn't want a three week vacation? But at the same time, I look at all the things that need to get done in the meantime, and . . . it all starts to get much more stressful.



A lot of this is due to how much different this trip is going to be compared to our other trips. Four countries, a rental car, 8 different cities we're staying in . . . If I were less prone to overplanning, this might be okay. But I'm not. And it's not like there's not a ton of things to plan for. Like, for example, did you know that each country in Europe has its own freeway sticker you have to purchase to be able to drive on the freeways in that country? Neither did I, until I did my research. Drive on the freeway without the sticker, and you get fined if you get caught. Also, Germany and Austria have different laws over what kind of tires you need to have on your car after November. have the wrong tires, and you get fined if you get caught.



I've got the hotels booked, the car reserved, the flight tickets ready, but I also need to figure out how we're getting in and out of some of the cities to sight-see (Drive in? Where do we park? Take public transportation in? How?) There are so many little details to making a trip like this work, and I've got this nagging feeling that something's going to go wrong at some point, and there's not a thing I can do about it.



Then again, I've also learned the best thing on vacations like these is to plan like a madman ahead of time, and then roll with the punches once you get there. No use worrying when it's too late to worry--just enjoy it. We'll see how that goes. :-)



And in the meantime, I've got a house to decorate for Christmas, Christmas presents to find and buy and wrap, my yearly Christmas newsletter to finish, work to finish up before I leave, and a book to start editing. (It's almost been long enough now that I think I can approach GET CUPID from a fresh enough viewpoint to give it the good second draft it needs.) Each one of those things is complicated for a variety of reasons.



Deep breaths. It'll all work out fine.



And that's all the time I have to stress-vent today. Thanks for listening.

Need Help: Christmas Shopping for Girls

Newsflash: I am not, nor have I ever been, a four-year-old girl. I know this may come as a shock to some of you, but that's what life's all about sometimes. However, despite this fact, I have a four-year-old girl for whom I'm trying to buy some Christmas presents. Denisa (who has, in truth, been a four-year-old girl--but one of the Slovak variety, who grew up with a different slate of toys and baubles than the current American variety of four-year-old girls have available to them) and I are struggling to find a "wow" present.



You know what I mean. The kind of present the kid opens up, and her eyes get really big.



I'm an expert at "wow" presents when it comes to boys of all ages. I can buy "wow" presents with the best of them. But I have come to the point where I have recognized that my limited understanding of the female psyche has rendered me unable to accurately evaluate the impact of presents on girls.



This is where you come in.



Assuming you are a girl, or have successfully raised a girl, I'm thinking you might have some good ideas about what might constitute a "wow" present. I'm open to any suggestions. Some stipulations:




Nothing ridiculously expensive. Yes, I know I could buy her a real live pony, and I'd get the "wow" reaction I'm looking for. But Denisa and I are generally against ridiculously expensive things. Plus, the girl's only four, remember? So keep it under a hundred bucks, max.
I'd like to to be something that gets played with beyond January. In other words, something with some staying power, from a present perspective. She appears to have little interest in tea sets and beads. She likes all things pretty and beautiful.
It needs to also pass the Denisa Test, meaning it can't be stupid. She reserves the right to proclaim anything stupid that she wants, and I support her in this right. This is admittedly a hard stipulation to follow. Don't worry--I won't let you know if your suggestion failed to pass the Denisa Test. We try to avoid public shaming on Bryce's Ramblings.
I need suggestions NOW, people. Because I'm very task-oriented, and I want these presents bought and wrapped ASAP.
Other things DC likes: princesses, the Muppets, Disney stuff.
She wants a toy piano. This would probably pass the "wow" test, but I don't want to buy a cheap toy piano for a ridiculous amount of money. If any of you have a toy piano you're looking to unload, let me know.


That said, any and all help would be greatly appreciated. If you've got an idea, shout it out. Thanks in advance!

Review: Lonesome Dove

I'd heard a lot about Lonesome Dove over the years. It was supposed to be one of the pinnacles of the mini-series format. And as such, it had been in my Netflix queue for quite some time, but I'd never gotten around to watching it. I'm very glad I did, even though I came really close to not even watching the second episode.



It's a western, in case you didn't realize that from the picture there. :-) Two ex-Texas Rangers decide to take a herd of cattle from Texas to Montana. Drama ensues. I don't think you need much more of a plot than that, really. Denisa and I just finished it over the weekend, and we both loved it. It's a moving story, with great performances by Tommy Lee Jones and Robert Duvall, fascinating historical settings and conflicts, beautiful scenery--the whole package.



So why did I almost stop watching it?



The first episode is slow. Mega slow. I'd tuned in expecting gunfights and stampedes, and I got a lot of brooding and talking and character development. I don't mind me some drama, but I wanted a western with a bit more oomph. Denisa was the one to persuade me to give it one more episode at least, and I'm really glad I did, because it took off wonderfully after that.



As I've thought about it, the reason it took off wonderfully is that first episode, strangely enough. They'd laid the groundwork for the characters so well, that by the time the action starts, you really care about those characters. You know them, warts and all. And so you're invested in them. In a way, this reminded me of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and other successful long running television series. The starts to some of these often aren't that great. It takes them a while to really get going. But once you're on for the ride, it's fantastic.



In the end, character almost always trumps plot. Any good plot can be made even better with great characters. Even a bad plot can be saved somewhat by good characters. But bad characters can ruin a good plot. If you don't like the people, why read or watch? I can't help thinking that modern television could learn a thing or two from that first episode of Lonesome Dove. Take the time to establish characters. Well-rounded ones that we can like or hate or feel conflicted about. And then throw stuff at them. These days, with episodes available via Netflix or Hulu, I'll wait to commit to a series until some other people have been my guinea pigs. Once I hear good things, I start tuning in. Yes, a series that puts characters first at the expense of plot might take a hit for the first while, but once the plot comes along and the characters are already in place, I think they'll earn that audience back with dividends.



Just my two cents.



In any case: Lonesome Dove. 3.5 stars. Great stuff. Watch it.

In Which I Hit Myself in the Eye with a Penny--Hard Enough to Lose Vision

I have admittedly done quite a few stupid things in my life. But I'm not one to rest on my laurels. I'm constantly innovating--striving to find new ways to be dumb. Because if you're not moving forward in the Sea of Stupidity, you're moving backward.



I made some serious progress Saturday evening.



Allow me to set the stage. DC is getting her hair brushed by Denisa. DC hates getting her hair brushed. She cries, mainly because all those curls can pick up quite a few knots. So this time, I decided to come in and help distract her so that it went more smoothly. I started doing some basic magic tricks--coin tricks, pretty much. And that worked perfectly. But it takes a long time to brush all that hair, and DC started to get bored with the same old same old.



Time to kick it up a notch.



There's this old trick I learned on my mission. You take a penny, put it in your fingers, and snap your fingers, sending the penny flying. If you snap hard enough, you can really get that puppy zinging fast. (What can I say? You wait for a lot of buses when you're a missionary in Germany. You gotta pass the time *somehow*.) Anyway--usually you flick pennies away from you, but I had a trick where I could flick a penny up my sleeve, making it look like it disappeared.



I decided to bring that trick out of retirement on this auspicious occasion.



I flicked the penny up my sleeve to great astonishment and amazement. DC and TRC both wanted to see how it was done, and I agreed to show them. But in so doing, I did it from a position I never had done before: straight out at shoulder level, so they could see better. I flicked the penny up my sleeve . . .  but missed.



Instead, I hit myself in the right eyeball. Hard. With a penny.







Ha ha. Funny funny. Except I could see out of my right eyeball in a penny-edge-sized slash. I went to the bathroom to recuperate, and vision returned after thirty seconds or so, but it wasn't a very fun thirty seconds. And my eye still is bugging me enough that I'll be going to the eye doctor to make sure nothing's really damaged. (Let me tell you--it's getting old telling people how stupid I was, though. I mean, it's an amusing story, but it rests on me being an idiot. Which is true, but sometimes I don't like remembering it quite so often.)



Anyway. I don't think there's lasting damage. I can see fine now. No blurriness. No slashes. No flashes. It certainly could have been worse. So let that be a lesson to you: if you're going to flick pennies, please do so responsibly. And never flick pennies at your head.



Don't say I never taught you anything.

Slovak Sleeping Beauty: Vodnik Chapter Thirty

When I set out to write Vodnik, I had no intentions of making it into a modern retelling of a fairy tale. I've read many of those, and I really enjoy them (particularly Shannon Hale's Goose Girl and Orson Scott Card's Enchantment), but this wasn't One of Those Stories.



And so imagine my surprise when, during the revision process, I took a look at this chapter, and suddenly realized that I had somehow pulled a Sleeping Beauty without really meaning to. It's not a strict retelling, by any means, but the basics are there. You've got the girl who pricks her finger--or gets it bitten, as the case may be. She falls asleep, and it takes true love's kiss to wake her up. Heck--I even described Lesana's house as "sort of what you’d expect Sleeping Beauty to stay in when she was slumming it as a peasant." And I described it that way not once, but twice!



I swear, this was all my subconscious at work. If I'd tried to do all of it on purpose, I have no idea how it would have turned out. Probably with changing dress colors and some other awkwardly-handled allusions to the fairy tale.



I think the reason this all worked out how it did was that when I was writing Vodnik, I *was* trying to tap into fairy tale mentality. That was on purpose. I wanted to capture some of the feel of Slovak fairy tales and creatures, and in my efforts to do that, I ended up drawing on the fairy tale tropes I was familiar with.



In writing this scene, for example, I didn't know what was going to happen when Tomas went down to find Lesana. (Remember, I was writing this without an outline, something I try not to do these days.) So when he suddenly decided to lean forward and kiss her--and when she actually came to life after he did that--I was pretty surprised.



And that's a feeling that still happens to me now and then when writing. Something happens in the story that I wasn't planning on at all, and I sit back and stare at the screen, stunned that it just happened. I always need to think it over after the fact. Sometimes, the surprise is perfect. It fits in with other things I was doing in the book without realizing it, and it stays as is. Sometimes it needs to be tweaked some, and sometimes I have to shake my head and hit the delete key. Not all out-of-the-blue ideas are created equal, after all.



But this one felt right, and I kept it--and I'm glad I did. At the same time, it makes me think back on the days when I was still actively studying film adaptations for my English Masters degree. As a scholar, it's easy to sit back and point out all the things that are in a work that "prove" it's an adaptation, or that it was inspired by a certain piece. And it all seems so definite. I mean, why would the author describe the house as being like Sleeping Beauty's house, unless he was trying to wink at the reader and say, "See?" But as an artist, suddenly all that certainty flies out the window. Maybe the author's subconscious was just playing around with him.



I don't know. Interesting thoughts for an adaptation scholar, though I'm not sure how interesting they are to you. But I *would* like to know if any of you saw the Sleeping Beauty motif before I just pointed it out to you. What did you think? Please share.

The Gender of the Baby (and a Happy Thanksgiving)

I'll be taking the next few days off from blogging. It's Thanksgiving (in case you hadn't heard), and just judging from my numbers the past few days, most of you aren't in the blogging mindset anyway. :-) So I'll resume with my normal blogging activities come Monday. In the meantime, I hope you all have a fantabulous holiday. May your turkey be plentiful, your shopping lines be short, and your family be more or less well behaved.



Oh. Right. You didn't just come here for that. You want to know the specs on the baby, I suppose. Denisa and I got back from the big ultrasound yesterday, and all looks well in baby-ville. Normal across the board, and the gender is . . .



A girl.



We're very happy with that. It means DC will share a room with her little sister, which is a better set up than TRC sharing a room with a little brother who's so much younger than him. Denisa's also happy, because she has all girl stuff now and can reuse it again.



Now we need to pick out a name. I can also say we have a list of names already picked out. Of course, we always have a list already picked out: the



Bohuslava
Jaromira
Hrdoslava
Hostimila
Mahuliena


We also won't be naming her Ivana, even though I don't mind that name. But no daughter of mine will have Ivana as a first name and my last name as her last name. Just sayin'




Anyway--there you have it. See you all on the flip side!

Movie Review: Skyfall

Denisa and I got a chance to go check out Skyfall last weekend, and I'm here to report back to all you faithful readers, giving it the official Bryce's Ramblings stamp of approval. (Maybe I should come up with my own proprietary scale? "I give this movie 8 groundhogs!" Hmm . . . I think I'll stick to the traditional stars for now.)



How was it? Denisa and I watched Casino Royale the night before, because I wanted to be properly primed for the film. And they're two very different movies. I really loved Casino Royale, although it had a plot that I only really "got" this last time when I was watching it. Vesper's actions and motivations were really murky when I saw the film in theaters.



Skyfall . . . I enjoyed a lot. I didn't flat out love it like I hoped to. (Step one of enjoying a movie: never buy into the hype. Best Bond ever? Hmm . . . that's so subjective. What makes a good Bond? For a lot of people, I'm thinking they didn't necessarily like the other Bond movies, so when this one comes along that's different, it's easy to give it the "Best Bond Ever" label. I personally always loved Bond for the punchlines, the gadgets, the action, and Bond. This one was great in 2 out of 4 of those.) Let me run down the likes/dislikes.



Likes




The action scenes. Flat out incredible. There are motorcycle chases across roofs, for crying out loud. How is that not awesome? The climax was fantastic, as well.
The villain. Suitably creepy and awesome, and well done for a Bond villain. I liked his motivations, as well.
The A-team build up to the climax. I don't want to say more than that, but you'll get the reference if you've seen the film. I really liked that, and the climax itself. It builds very well--watch how the conflict escalates step by step, but also becomes more personal. Super job on that.
The nods to previous Bond films, especially the vintage stuff. Loved the retro vibe in the music now and then.
Daniel Craig continues to be a great Bond. Very glad he's filling the role right now.


Dislikes


How long it took to really get into an actual plot. There was a lot of wheel spinning before the main villain shows up. It took off quite well at that point, but up until then . . . the objectives were quite murky.
Lack of humor. There were touches here and there, but this is a Bond film that takes itself very seriously. I'm not saying I don't like the serious. But Bond always managed to lighten the mood some. Of course, in the films, that tends to cheapen the element of suspense. Bond is usually going to find his way out of this mess, and his calm demeanor shows you that at the expense of tension. In this movie, they've ditched the humor so they can build the tension. I think they ditched too much.
The gadgets, or lack thereof. Look people--there are a lot of action movies out there. You've got your Jackie Chan movies, where he uses crazy everyday objects as weapons and does crazy stunts. You've got Mission Impossible, where you have a team using gadgets and ingenuity to take out the bad guy. You've got Bourne, where a lone man uses his ninja reflexes and his shaky-cam-fu to come out on top. What I mean to say is that each franchise is supposed to have its key differences, in my opinion. And Bond has gadgets. I like the gadgets to be somewhat realistic--the Brosnan movies got a little carried away, I'd say. But still--I like me some gadgetry. This movie had a touch, but not enough to really feel like a Bond movie. Sad.
Here's the biggie. My Big Complaint about the movie. And it comes down to what I feel like is one of the weakest plot devices movies and books can use. I haven't seen it described before, so I'm probably using terminology that isn't used by others, but I'm sure the problem has been outlined elsewhere. I call it the Supergenius Villain Plan. What I mean by that is a movie that is driven for the lion's part of the film by a villain who's so outrageously cunning and smart that he's foreseen every possibility. He knows everything. He's gone ahead and set everything up. A touch of this is okay. But without going into too much detail, Skyfall does this way too much, and I really don't dig that. Because in the end, it kills believability for me. No one knows that much. No one can set things up that perfectly. It just. can't. happen. And Bond doesn't have to be believable, but this movie . . . it's really going for believability. And then it cuts itself by using a Supergenius Villain Plan. Too bad.


In the end, I still really liked the movie. Three stars for me. Recommended. But . . . don't buy into the hype. My hope is that if you haven't seen the movie, this review will encourage you to lower your expectations, which in turn will help you enjoy the movie more.



Make sense?




Already seen it? What did you think? Do share!