Jack Lewis Baillot's Blog, page 39

"What's wrong with your accent? Now you're doing it too! It's spreading!"

 Wherein Jack hopes to make a return

 I saw hope, because I had a friend tell me she got an infection after more then a week of having her wisdom teeth out. The way things have been going, I won't feel safe until everything is completely healed. But I THINK I am making a recovery - I say think because my teeth thus far have liked to prove me wrong.
 That said, I am here today with a few...things. Happy things. Exciting things. Just THINGS in general!! Things are wonderful, never forget that.
 First up, I have JUST finished my Five Enchanted Roses Contest entry! I am extremely proud of it at this moment. It is my first short story and I think it is a dear little thing. I am currently looking for willing readers, to take a peak at it and see how well it works. Since it is a short story, and it is for a contest, I'd like a bit of feed back before I submit it. Anyone interested? It is 13,000 something words long. It is titled Finding the Magic. It has some French characters in it. Set in WWII. Has a British girl. Some snow. Roses. All those wonderful things. And maybe even a Dragon or two.
 Second, and I am going to find a non boring way of explaining all of this. But it is huge, and important. And a bit scary, and wonderful. So, there is that.
 As you know, I just published my fourth book! I have worked so hard at this point, getting these books published that I fear my marketing has somewhat slipped, not that my skills ever laid with marketing to begin with. With the release of my fourth one, and both the next books in both series taking longer to work out the plot then I had planned, it has given me a chance to step back and look at the marketing side of things, and where I plan to go from here.

 I've been giving this a lot of thought, especially during the month I was gone and working on Brothers-in-Arms. I have decided I would rather spend more time on the third Loyalty book and the third Haphazard book and get them to work rather then have them out in January and July. Coming to that conclusion, I am still working on both books, trying to iron out the plot issues that are keeping me back from finishing the drafts I am working on.

 I have also been considering getting a new publisher, instead of keeping with Lulu. I do like Lulu, it has given me a nice spring board to start from, and their formatting is lovely. But I've been thinking of going with someone else, maybe someone who could work with me one on one with formatting, since that is another point I haven't completely grasped. I've even been looking into companies my friends and fellow Authors have gone with, which leads me to one of the highlights of my Author life.

 I got home from work on Monday and checked my email, surprised to find a publishing company had emailed me while I was working. They saw the reviews for Haphazardly Implausible on Goodreads and have requested to view my next book and consider it for publication.

 I must admit, I am not quiet as giddy over this as I thought I would be - on the far off daydream I always harboured that this might happen. I am still in a state of shock, and it is taking time to sink in that this is for real. But, I am looking into the company and preparing to send them Brothers-in-Arms. It isn't my only completed novel at this time, but it is the only completed one not in a series, and I don't wish to start publishing another series until I publish the last Loyalty book.

 That said, I am giving this a lot of prayer and consideration, while allowing myself moments of glee when it hits me that this is real. Even if I don't end up going with them, the fact a publisher has contacted me has been one of the best things I've ever experienced.

 And that is where I have to end. I need to dart into town because I put The Maze Runner on hold at my library and it just came in, so you can see why darting needs to be involved. And that said, I would like to thank all of those who read and reviewed Haphazardly Implausible. This wouldn't be happening if it wasn't for those reviews.

 Quote is from the 12th Doctor again


 ALLONS-Y!

 P.S. I should be back to my normal posts on Monday

"Five foot one and crying, you never stood a chance."

 I had a kind of fall back with my teeth. My jaw didn't heal correctly, so therefore, I am back to being careful what I do and only eating things I can swallow until the bone covers up. (This means short walks outside since whenever the cold air hits the bone it hurts like crazy.) Therefore, I am not fully myself still, so I leave you with this for the time being.
 A moment of appreciation for the silent characters. (Or ones who say little.)

 First up, the adorable Sandy from Rise of the Guardians.

 Whom everyone loved or should have loved - and if you didn't WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! - even in his less adorable state.

 Next is Groot from Guardians of the Galaxy

 And for those who didn't fall in love with adult Groot there was dancing baby Groot

 And we can't have this list without adding The Winter Soldier, also known as James Buchanan Barnes. Someone counted all his lines in the movie, I just don't remember how many there were.

 Nope, not doing the shirtless one, because that would be awkward


 Can we add the Hulk? He had no lines

 Though I'm not sure how much he was loved. He was liked, I'm sure, but I am also sure it was Bruce Banner everyone loved.


And that is the end of my list. Any added suggestions?
 Quote is from Doctor Who, 12 and Clara.

 Allons-y!

"It's all fine till you get to the eyebrows. They're attack eyebrows!"

 Wherein Jack talks about Beasties
 "Hello, Beastie!"
 Couldn't help it.
 No, this post has nothing to do with pirates.
 I am writing this while sitting at my desk, surrounded by laundry, with an ice pack wrapped around my head, and fall music playing. All I need is someone to bring me some hot chocolate coffee and I'd be set. Oh, and if it would start raining...that would add to the mood.

 I've been wanting to do this post for a while - by that I mean a week or two. Since I haven't had the idea for this story for long. But as I mentioned, I am entering the Five Enchanted Roses contest. (There is a link, but I'm feeling too out of it to find it. Or too lazy, take your pick. But it isn't hard to find.) Basically, a book is going to be coming out containing five short stories of the retold Beauty and the Beast fairy tale. I wasn't going to enter, because I don't do short stories really well, and I've tried to retell fairy tales and that always flops. So, mixing the two didn't seem like a good idea.
 But now I am entering.

 Why? You might be asking. Or maybe you are asking why you don't have a bowl of ice cream right at this moment, which is a more important question.
 Either way.
 A year or so ago I got the random inspiration for a story called Finding the Magic. It was going to be set during the London Blitz and be about some children who went to the country to stay with this older man till they could go back home. While there, the man teaches them there is still magic in the world, even though it is hard to see because of the war going on. He was supposed to take them on all these fun adventures - like picnics, hikes, fishing, swimming - and show them God was still taking care of them. 

 For some reason the story never took off and sat in the back of my mind collecting dust. I wasn't sure if I'd ever get round to it, when the contest came along. And something bounced into something else and hit the right spark and before I knew it the story shortened itself into a Beauty and the Beast retelling.

 The story, still with the same title, is about 15-year-old Belle. She is sent to live with grumpy Adam Prince in the country when the bombings begin in London. Her father is fighting in the war, but before he left he gave her a rose and reminded her to always look for the magic - God's blessings - in everything, even if she has to look past thorns. Belle is determined to find the magic in her new home, and at first it is easy when she is befriended by the maid's son, who goes by Chip. But then she meets Mr. Prince and her resolution becomes harder. Until she decides she is going to show Mr. Prince - who is grieving over something he refuses to talk about - the magic she can see.

 I'm not sure how well it will do, as it doesn't have the typical elements of a Beauty and the Beast story - since Mr. Prince doesn't actually look like a Beast and there is no romance in it. (Maybe a hint, but nothing huge.) It is another of my friendship stories. 
 I've been having fun writing it, more then I thought I would.  And that, my friends, is what I am working on now. I want to finish it by the end of this month so it can get some editing before I send it in. And I got behind with the whole tooth thing. 
 That said, I saw Doctor Who last night. Deep Breath, 12's first episode. 12 has instantly become one of my favourites. And that is why I used a quote from the episode.

 The End.

 ALLONS-Y!

"Can I hide? Is it okay if I hide?"

 Wherein Jack talks about her time with HYDRA

 I'm starting to feel human. Not something I thought I'd ever be pleased about. I've been stuck in bed pretty much since Tuesday - the day I had my wisdom teeth out. Today was really the first day I've been able to get up and it was only for a few hours then I had to lay back down.

 Now before I go further I should explain some things as they will help my story make more sense. First off, as I mentioned in some older posts, I'd been really sick the week before I had my teeth out. I'd been running a nearly non stop fever for a few days and Tuesday morning I still wasn't completely over whatever it was that had made me so sick.
 Second, my teeth have always been strange. I had to go in one time to get about three or four pulled all at once because I had too many for my mouth. They're all twisted and stuff from growing in a smaller space then I guess they should have had.
 Third, I was awake for the two hour extraction. I don't know if this makes a difference, but during and after I have found myself wishing I'd asked to go out of town and have gotten put under for the whole thing. Even if it would have left me unaware of what HYDRA was doing to me.

 That in mind, here is my story. (Because I have nothing better to write about so why not?)

 I knew I was in trouble the moment I walked into the office. It was one of those moments of sheer dread where, had I the energy, I'd have run screaming out the doors. Sadly, the fever left me with no energy so all I could do was slump in the chair and wait for my name to be called. I was then led into one of the back rooms and set in a chair and from there there was no escape.

 The first I knew I was going to go through the worse experience of my life was when the doctor got his needle out and stick it into my gum. (I have a healthy fear of needles. Sticking one into any place on my body leaves me shaking and sobbing. Sticking one into my mouth....it just didn't go over well.) For one thing it hurt, for another thing IT WAS A GIANT NEEDLE STICKING IN MY MOUTH. I am not ashamed of the fact I cried, I do feel bad though because the HYDRA doctor was acting very nice and he felt bad I was crying. He only numbed one side of my mouth, saving the other side for when he got to those teeth. He then went in with his pliers and...whatever those flat things are called. I don't care about their name, because he had to ram it between two of my teeth and break the one he was trying to get out.

 I'm not sure how to explain what it felt like. Part of the reason I think it hurt so bad - because I had so many people tell be before hand theirs weren't bad and I had nothing to be worried about. When he was trying to fight the top one out he found my roots were twisted around behind the other teeth. Basically it felt like someone had put a suction to my brain and was yanking my ear out through my jaw. That is th ebest way I can explain it. I wanted to punch someone but it was the top teeth that felt like this and I knew the bottoms would be ten times worse so I saved my punches.

 When the top ones were out there was a break during which I somehow unclenched a paper towel I'd been squeezing the life out of. Once the top ones were out it was time for the bottom. By then I was feeling sick from the pain, pressure....whatever they like to call it. All I know is that the doctor said I could come back later for the bottom if I wanted, but I decided to get it all over with as I knew I'd never be able to convince myself to return if they let me out then. So the needle came back, more numbing stuff was injected, my dad kindly offered to let me squeeze the life out of his hand since the paper towel was dead, and the doctor got back to work.

 For everyone who tried to reassure me it would be fine, I'd like to thank you for your comforting attempts. And allow me to say, my twisted roots ensured none of it was true and getting my two lower ones out is honestly the worse pain I've ever endured in my life. (In spite of my jaw being numb at the time.)

 The left one, the one which started all the trouble, came out first. He brought out his flat tool and I could hear a ton of cracking and bone breaking while my jaw was shoved and pushed in ways it wasn't meant to go. He was going to try and just yank it out, but it didn't work so he had to get out his drill. This time the bone cracking was accompanied by drilling and water being squirted into and sucked out of my mouth. This went on for half an hour before the tooth finally came free. I was sure the last tooth wouldn't be as bad. The left one was the one that had hurt the most before, the left one was the reason I was in there, the left one hurt so much I was exhausted trying to keep from punching someone. I was too tired to feel anymore pain. I figured I could just lay there and let them get it out and I would be done at last.

 You can see where this is going.

 The last one decided it wasn't going to come out. The last one put up an hour fight. The last one REFUSED to stay numb.

 I noticed the problem right when the doctor began prying it away from the other teeth. There was a sharp pain which hadn't been there with the others and I almost came up out of the chair. The doctor felt really bad and numbed it again, and again got back to work. The numbing lasted for a few minutes, then the pain came back. So once again he numbed it. At this point I came to the realization this was not going to go well and I might not be able to get the pain numbed and might just have to grit my teeth until it was out. Which in the end is what I had to do. For some reason that side wore of the medicine faster then the others had done and I knew we'd have to stop every few minutes to stick my gum with the needle or I'd have to act like it wasn't as painful as it was so we could just get it over with.
 I went with option two because I had been in there for an hour and a half or so by that point and I wanted out. It didn't make me feel any better though when I saw the doctor was sweating and looking like my dad when he is working on something and it is refusing to work and he knows he just has to get it done no matter what. (This is when that memory of the other dentist saying my jaw would have to be broken came back and I was certain he was just going to snap it any second.)

 As you might have guessed, the tooth came out in the end. My jaw wasn't broken though it might as well have been the way it still hurts. And I came close to fainting in the end. (My best friend fainted once, so I asked her just to make sure.) It was weird. my whole body started to tingle and go numb all at once and it felt like the room as spinning and staying dead still while I saw all bright colours and blackness. Fainting is nothing like in the books or movies. It was almost as bad as the fight to get the last tooth out.

 But then it was over. I stumbled home with a lower jaw so numb I couldn't feel it for hours. Then when I could it was only to throbbing pain. (I think I found out where all the last injection went, actually, because my right temple still feels numb.)

 To top the whole thing off, I have some kind of low blood sugar or something. (Don't ask me to be medical and explain what it is exactly.) But I need to eat about every three hours. I barely ate anything the day the tooth came out. Or the next day. And as a result I got really sick. So between that and the teeth, the over all experience of getting my wisdom teeth yanked from my head by HYDRA was not the best I've undergone. But I think I am finally recovering. I've been swallowing soft foods, admitted going to work this week was not going to work out at all, and spent most of the time in bed. I watched all the old Classic Disney movies from my childhood and slept more then I think I've ever slept in my life.

 So that is my experience with HYDRA and the reason I vanished. And now I am going to bed again. Because I am still tired.

 Quote is from Doctor Who, and how I would be if I ever joined the army.

 Allons-y

"You're one dynamite gal"

Wherein Jack is only half here

 I've had a fever pretty much non stop for the last four days, so please bare with me. I don't know how coherent this post is going to be, but I have some things that were asked to go up today. So I am going to attempt this.
 First was another tag. 
 1. What am I working on? A short story for the Five Enchanted Roses contest called Finding the Magic.
 2. how does my work differ from others of its genre? It is a Beauty and the Beast story set in WWII
 3. Why do I write what I do? Because I think there should be more friendship stories in the world. 
 4. How does my writing process work? Lots of typing and little sleep.
 I believe this tag was given to my by Jaye L. Knight. (Sorry if I have this wrong.) Her blog is HERE!
 I think I am supposed to tag three people. But I can't focus right now. So three people who wish it, you are tagged.
 Second, my dear friend Anne is setting up a wonderful new blog and is having a tour for it!!
  www.scribblingskeyboard.blogspot.com

Half Baked is a blog dedicated to the art of writing and exploring what goes into a solid story. The blog operates on the principal that most stories are like cake, delicious and scrumptious and all the other cake words that are out there. But just like cake, a story can come out gooey and shaky in the middle, half baked. This blog is meant to help turn awesome ideas into solid, fully baked novels. Stop by ahalfbakedplot.blogspot.com on September first to join in the release party. There will be contests and a giveaway and of course virtual cake. 

 You will want to check this out as Anne always has some wonderful writing advice. 
 That is all for now. Once my tooth is out and my fever breaks I will be back with an update on my writing.

 Quote is from Wreck-it Ralph 

 Allons-y!

"If I loved you less I might be able to talk about it more."

 Wherein Jack shares a world shattering secret

 Make sure you're sitting down. I don't think many of you are prepared for the kind of world shattering this is going to do to your world.
 I've never really had problems with my teeth. Aside from the fact they are insanely crooked and I have buck teeth. Out of all my siblings I was the one who never got cavities. (I have one now but I'm in denial.) I never ever got tooth aches. Therefore, the night Frozen came out and I was hit with one which left me in tears on the floor, I wasn't sure what to make of this new found pain. I hurt so much I almost didn't go to the movie with my family, but the throbbing pain subsided enough for me to make it through.

 My tooth hurt for three or four days after that, but nothing like the first night. I thought it might be my wisdom tooth, but when the pain stopped all together I happily assumed I was wrong and went on with life, though I wasn't able to chew sweets on the left side of my mouth.
 "Cavity," I thought. "Serves me right, been eating too many cookies." I ignored it though. It wasn't bad, I could still eat, just not sweets and it isn't like I HAD to eat sweets. I could give up cookies if it meant getting to avoid the Dentist just a little longer.
 Life continued once more until two or three weeks ago when the agonizing pain returned.
 Panic set in.
 I refused to believe it could even be close to being my wisdom tooth until the pain refused to leave. I had no other choice but to finally give in and go to the Dentist. And this is where I shatter the world.
 One might be lead to the belief that Dentists are our friends. Like doctors. They take care of us, and help us. I have NEVER fallen for this belief, however. Part of this stemmed from younger days when a Dentist thought it would be great fun to pull one of my teeth with - what I felt like at the time - no warning whatsoever. I was happy one moment and sobbing in pain the next.

 Since that time I have gone out of my way to avoid them, even living with my array of crooked teeth because it meant not getting braces. Then I had to get a check up a year ago and was told my wisdom teeth would have to come out and my jaw broken to do so.
 Jaw.
 Broken.
 Lovely thing to tell someone who is already scared of Dentist drills and needles and who knows what other torture devices they have. Because, let's be honest here, anyone who sticks a drill in your mouth is NOT to be trusted.
 Doubt my word?
 Ever seen some of their equipment? No? Well, here is a good idea of what it looks like - and I made sure to double check this theory today while I was having fingers poke and prod my already agonizing tooth.

 Aw look, and there is Bucky to show how the machines work.
 Still don't believe me? I had to stick my head in one of those...head thingies...today. Right in. So I could be zapped with radiation.
 Yes, radiation. The Dentists even fessed up to using it. They sent my mum out of the room and put a lead apron on me. Not on my head, because, you know - it's just my head. Who cares about radiation to the brain? (Alright, so they said it is not much radiation and that is all safety precautions to make people feel better, but this is a person with HYDRA like torture devices...how far can you trust them?)
 (Side note. My wisdom teeth have to come out but this new Dentist can do it without breaking my jaw, so I have no idea what the first one was talking about.)
 I have now discovered what I always thought to be true. After HYDRA went into hiding they became Dentists. This gives them a chance to torture unsuspecting suffers to their heart's content. (They had a hay day with me because I had the flu today so I was already miserable - not to mention the tooth ache and not being able to eat much besides rice for the last two or three weeks. They knew I was a SHIELD agent, I have a suspicion they saw my card.)

 It is all there. The same type of machines used on Bucky. Drills and needles and medical scissors. Radiation. They experiment on people to try and create more super soldiers. It won't work on me though. I don't have the personality for it. I am going to turn into another kind of Hulk. Sweet and unassuming when left on my own, quick tempered and violent when thrown in with hordes of people who shoot things at me. So when you hear in the news of someone turning green and smashing walls, very likely it was me and the radiation experiments. 
 So far I have been able to keep one step ahead of HYDRA, but next week they get to sedate me and stick things into my mouth and who knows what else while I am too far out of it to fight them off. So if I vanish and there is a new assassin in the news, you now know the reason why and I'd be grateful if you'd call the Avengers and have them avenge me.

 Naturally, I'd not even be thinking of going within ten feet of HYDRA unless it was to kick them in the shins. But I'm hungry - normally, not right now. Right now I am running a fever and don't want to think of food. When the flu is over, however, I'll be hungry and to eat the tooth has to come out. So unless I can make someone REALLY mad and punch it out over the weekend, I shall be returning to HYDRA.
 I'm working hard on making someone angry enough to punch me.
 It should be easier then it has been.
 If there are volunteers I won't turn them away.
 That is all. You've been warned. I have a short story to work on. (I'm going to enter the Beauty and the Beast contest. I finally have a plot, but more on that later.)
 Quote is from Emma, the Emma with Mr. Knightly. I've been watching Emma Approved. Which is where I heard the line. Because I can't find the version of Emma I am looking for. And I like Emma Approved.

 ALLONS-Y!

"You have a gift."

 Wherein Jack gets caught up

 With my tour offically over I can now get caught up on some back posts, namely one. I was tagged in the Writing Process Blog Tour! I was tagged by Kelly over at MY COUNTLESS LIVES.
 So, to begin.

 1. What am I working on?
 Aside from the one book I am brainstorming and the two I am trying to get some plot problems smoothed out with, my biggest project is my first Historical Fiction, Brothers-in-Arms. My WWII story about a Nazi and a Jew who are best friends. (Still working on how to explain it without it sounding like a ten-year-old talking about her favourite book.)
 2. How does my work differ from others of its genre? It is purely a friendship story. No romance. Also, I think I deal more with the war and how it impacted the people living in it. I could be wrong because I tend not to read modern Historical Fiction since most of them seem to have the same plot and focus on romance and not the history aspect, but I think I focus more on how the war affected those living in it.
 3. Why do I write what I do? Because characters kidnap me and hold me at sword point and don't feed me till I do. That and I got tired of not being able to find new books at my library. All of them felt kind of the same, and there were no really good friendship stories after a while. I think friendships are just as important as true love, and I want to write about them. 
 4. How does my writing process work?
 I sit at my desk...I skim through books I am reading, I watch youtube clips, I market on facebook and twitter and pintrest, I comment on blogs, I edit, and somehow I write and books come out. (That is only with second drafts. First drafts I forget the world and just write.)

 And there is the end of it! I do have a series of questions from the CLEVER BUNNY SISTERS
 1. If you could have any animal as a pet, what would it be? A worm
 2. Do you ever read more then one book at once? I never read less then three at a time.
 3. Who is your favourite superhero? Captain America
 4. If you do daily devotions, do you prefer to do them in the morning, or before bed? Morning, though sometimes I have to before bed
 5. What is your favourite day of the week, and why? Thursday. I don't have to work and can work on my books all day
 6. Smoothies or milkshakes? Milkshakes. Unhealthy of course.
 7. What is your favourite summer activity? Playing in the river and bike riding. 
 8. If you could spend a day with a fictional character, who would you spent it with and what would you do together? Can I pick two? Three? I would have to pick three, I can't pick one.  Jaron, Nightly, and Sab...five, because I can't have Nightly without Dimitri and Seb without Nat. And we would go on a picnic and play tag.

 9. Skirts or shorts? Skirts, unless I am feeling adventurous and on my bike. 
 10. Do you have a nickname? No, my parents named me Jack
 11. What would you name a black baby rabbit? The Black Knight. 
 I tag Bella, because she needs to talk about her book. And Anna. For the same reason. You both have to do the writing process tour. I also am going to pass it on to, I am drawing blanks. Sorry. I want to tag you all who write, because I'd love to learn more about your current projects!
Quote is from Sky Captain. If you don't get it watch the movie

ALLONS-Y!

"Ignore the man behind the curtain."

 Today is the last day of A Test of Loyalty's book release celebration! Unlike what I have done during the past interviews, I will only be posting the first question in the interview to Golon given by Ninja captain Alex. To read the rest just follow the link to Alex's blog. (Come now, follow orders like good subjects. You know you want to do as your Evil Over Lord commands. That and this interview was a lot of fun, 8-D) CLICK HERE
 Are you any relation to Gimli?
 Who is Gimli? Is this some kind of trick question? Is it because our names are kind of the same? I have a feeling this is something I should understand and my Author is laughing at me for not doing so. She laughs at me a lot though, so it is hard to tell the cause of it.

Quote is from The Wizard of Oz.

ALLONS-Y!

"She is my carer. She cares so I don't have to."

 Wherein Jack shares talent.

 Since writing, and publishing - since publishing - I have been receiving all kinds of fun little pictures and other things in my email box. It has really brightened up my writing experience and made me feel officially like an Author. I have gotten permission from everyone who has sent these in and therefore thought it would be fun to share all of them with you.

 These are kind of all scattered because getting them into order is something my lack of blog talent cannot manage. Also, I have never done a post like this before so bare with me while I try and figure out how something like this is done.












All of the above pictures were done by TRESKIE and were inspired by my book Brothers-in-Arms. (She was one of my beta readers.)



 This one was drawn by CLAIR and is a scene from Haphazardly Implausible. She redid it when she did the pictures for the book but this is the original. 

Another from Treskie and was inspired by the Haphazard Books.






This were sent to me by ANNA. She was another Brothers-in-Arms beta reader.

This is from ABBEY and she sent it to me after reading the end of Abolished Impracticality. It was the only nice email I got from that book


Done by BELLA. It is a line from Abolished Impracticality. 


 And lastly, this is my ship. I am very proud of my ship. Abbey sent it to me to console me on the realization that readers shipping my characters did not mean I got an actual ship. I'm still trying to come up with a good name for her.
 Now I am going to go and enjoy my tea.
 Quote is from the new Doctor Who trailer. Clip...whatever they call it. It was really neither of both, but the line is funny anyways.


ALLONS-Y!

"I had friends and home, your Honorable Strawness."

 Wherein Jack lists things she has learned over the past month

 I don't think I mentioned where I was actually going during most of July. It was kind of a last minute trip, something which was supposed to be a bit of a holiday and turned out to be anything but. Not that I am complaining, I was planning on being a little busy, which is why I worked so hard getting all the beta reading done before I left.
 Getting dropped in the South when I am definitely a Western countrygirl has been a little hard to get used to and I've learned some interesting lessons, though unlikely life altering and helpful. I thought I would share them, because I have nothing else to write about right now.
 Ants in the South are vicious. I am so tired of them. They are tiny, so you are lead into a false sense of security around them because you think they will not care to do anything to you. Then if you step too close to them they swarm your feet in the blink of an eye and chew on your toes and legs. Give me my Western ants who don't care about people any day.
 Southern accents are a myth. I have met SO many Southerns this trip and only about five of them have had accents. (Those with accents do say Y'all which I was hoping was true) But overall, the whole Southern accent thing, it is made up. I am convinced of it. Put into movies so everyone in the South will appear more British as they sip their lemonade. (That is also a myth. Hardly anyone drinks ice cold lemonade while sitting on their porches.)
 Jude Law is British. I kind of learned this before I left, but it was re-enstated when I watched Sky Captain again. I've seen him in a good many movies. Not a ton, but enough where I should have caught on because he did a lot of talking in them. (Sherlock Holmes. A Series of Unfortunate Events. Sky Captain.) He's not a quiet actor who only gets three lines like Sebastian Stan. But it didn't hit me till I was watching Sky Captain with my friend that in all the movies he's in, he has a British accent. The things you learn.
 Possible reasons I am still single Painting. I noticed, while I was joining in the fine art of painting, the other girls I was with got dabs of paint in cute places - like on their cheeks or freckle splatters on their arms. They somehow kept their clothes clean on top of that. Me? I dropped paint in my hair and backed into a wall. (I won't go into details, but leave you to assume where I got paint backing into a wall and how awkward that turned out to be.) Dirt. This is my like painting. The the girls I was with were nicely dusted in dirt until they looked like they'd gotten a nice tan. Their faces turned a pretty shade of red and wisps of hair escaped their pony tails. (Like adventure girls in the movies.) I, on the other had got dirt raccoon eyes, a sweaty - bright red face, and two layers of dirt covering every inch of my body till I looked like I'd joined the seven-year-old playing in the mud.
 Having MASSIVE red bites all up and down my legs probably didn't help things either. I don't know why no one else was getting the life chewed out of their legs.
 Added to that is the time I stabbed myself in the lip with my pocket knife while licking peanut butter off of it.
 (All of this is said in joking. I spent most of my time playing in the dirt and trying not to get eaten alive to worry about how Western and wild I likely appeared to the Southern men.)
 Southerns really consider people from the West as Yankees and have trouble grasping what the West really is.
 I tell people I am from Wyoming and there is this moment of panic in their eyes which I snicker at. You can see the wheels turning as they fly over the States, trying to remember where exactly Wyoming is before the time is up where they have to speak.
 "Wyoming. Right. How's the weather there?"
 I should give them credit for at least trying, but the evil side of me is not all that nice.
 "Fine. We had a blizzard on Mother's Day."
 *Gasping look of horror and I have just succeeded in making sure we are never invaded by Southerns.*
 The whole Yankee thing is what gets me though. The history nerd side of me blisters.
 "Yankees fought on the side of the North during the Civil War. I am from the West. Wyoming was a territory at the time, do your research!" I am starting to believe that when it comes to any history past the Civil War the South just kind of slept. (Wait...I just insulted Southerns. That came out wrong. Really, I think most of it has to do with Wyoming itself. No one KNOWS where it is. They have this general location but no one can ever really place it. Mostly I end up by Montana. So those jokes I make about being from a State no one knows about, they aren't really jokes.)
 Dorm rooms
 I don't even know what to say about that. Except that I don't think dorm room living is for me. I need time alone to recover from people, and dorm rooms don't offer that. I did get a top bunk though so I felt like Hawkeye.
 Nipping from one State to the other is no problem
 In the west everything is spread out and huge. Going to another State can take days. Down south everything just calmly drives to neighboring States in a matter of hours. I am still in awe over that.
 The giant bug
 Or small mouse.
 I really don't know and I am scared to ask. But I saw something creeping across the floor while watching a movie. It looked too big to be a bug but too small to be a mouse. I considered going after it to see, but I am really fond of my toes...being on my feet. I opted in the end for hiding up on the couch and hoping some man would come by and get rid of whatever it was. (Not that it stayed around to be found. It vanished and I've been concerned about my toes ever since.)

 And there it is, my Southern Adventures.
 I am now going to stop writing. I feel off a rock yesterday and badly skinned my knuckles, therefore, writing and moving my fingers hurts. And I am going to stop because I am a wimp when it comes to pain.

 Come back on Saturday, I have a surprise!

 Quote is from the book The Tin Woodman of Oz.

 ALLONS-Y