Brett Cottrell's Blog, page 5

WANTED: Angry White Men

Give me you angry, white, violent masses!
WANTED: Angry White Men JOB DESCRIPTIONThe Republican Party is looking for a few good angry white men in the mold of Rush Limbaugh, Newt Gingrich, Joe Wilson, Steve King and Rick Santorum. KEY RESPONSIBILITIESThe successful applicant will be responsible for intimidating minorities and women, bullying gays and threatening to bomb Iran. EDUCATIONNot applicable. QUALIFICATIONS AND SKILLSThe successful candidate will have a long career of vitriolic persecution.  Race-baiting a plus, sexism a must, and the ability to intimidate is non-negotiable.  Preference will be given to those who can scream the loudest non sequiturs. APPLY TODAYPlease send resume to Republican Senator Lindsey Graham, who recently said “We’re not generating enough angry white guys to stay in business for the long term.” Senator Lindsey Graham290 Russell Senate Office BuildingWashington, DC 20510 Or email your resume directly to his office.Click to email Senator Graham you Angry White Man resume
 
 

Book Reading at The King's English

Had a great time reading The Valley of Fire at The King's English Bookshop in Salt Lake City.  1) No, I can't save you any money on your car insurance, but 2) yes, I do look like Brad Pitt.  Trump's hair is really this big! I swear!

"To Trogdor the Burninator." Are you sure that's your name?

Romney Can't Help Himself. It's Genetic.

A Romney advisor recently told a London Newspaper that President Barack Obama doesn’t understand America’s Anglo-Saxon heritage.

This is worse than stupid. Obama’s a bright man who went to Harvard and taught at one of the nation’s top law schools, and his white (read Anglo-Saxon) mother and grandparents raised him.

To give voice to such stupidity is betray your belief that Obama cannot understand our “Anglo-Saxon” heritage because he’s part black, and that no amount of education or personal experience can teach him. In other words, Obama’s biologically incapable of understanding white people.

Using the Romney campaign’s bigoted logic, Romney must be biologically incapable of understanding: America’s rich African-American, Latino and immigrant heritages – pretty much anybody that isn’t white. Women, too: despite his constant proximity to women, his Y chromosome prevents him from appreciating their American legacy. 

And while we already know that Romney doesn’t understand America’s tired, poor, huddled masses, now we know why: he’s congenitally incapable of appreciating or understanding people who weren’t born rich. 

Sorry, it’s genetic.



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When a rogue angel starts a polygamist cult in Utah, all Hell breaks loose! Get The Valley of Fire today!
"Rolling on the floor laughing." Goddiscussion.com Click to buy it on Amazon!

Top 5 Things Mitt Romney’s Campaign Wants To Change Retroactively

 A retroactive what? Artwork available here.A senior Romney advisor recently claimed that the candidate isn’t responsible for all the outsourcing and job destroying Bain Capital did when Romney was the Chairman,CEO and sole stock holder…because Romney retired retroactively.

My head hurts just thinking about that whopper, but it does beg a question: If the electorate actually buys this hogwash, what else would Romney retroactively terminate?

1)     His term as Massachusetts Governor, when he spearheaded an insurance mandate, supported and defended abortion rights, and raised taxes/fees on everything from marriage licenses and gas to businesses, and even signed a ban on assault weapons.  Never happened.
2)     His Church’s historic position that people with black skin are being punished by God.  Awkward. 2 Nephi 5: 21  Alma 3: 6 
3)     His decision to abdicate his spine to political expediency.
4)     His position in 1994 that federal elections should have spending limits.  He knows he’s a hypocrite, and he’d appreciate it if we didn’t keep reminding him of that fact.
5)      Finally, in order to make his quotes fit the facts, he’s going to retroactively change his statement that “Corporations are people, my friend,” to “My religion is acorporation, my friend!”

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When a rogue angel starts a polygamist cult in Utah, all Hell breaks loose! Get The Valley of Fire today!
"Rolling on the floor laughing." Goddiscussion.com Click to buy it on Amazon!

The Idaho GOP Wants Your Vote To Strip You Of It

Artwork by PlognarkThe Idaho GOP wants to repeal the 17th Amendment and strip you of your democratic voice in the U.S. Senate.  This surprises me in two ways: 1) My experience as an intern at the Idaho Statehouse convinced me that its Republicans can't count to 17 without an extra pair of hands, and 2) They’re actually telling people to vote for them in part because they’ll take away their vote!

This is an oddly brazen strategy.  It’s like telling an employer she should hire you because you’ll steal from her.  If she did hire you, you’d consider her contemptible, which is exactly what the Idaho GOP will feel toward you if you vote for them.

Have some pride.  When people try to take away your democratic rights, give them resistance, not your vote.


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When a rogue angel starts a polygamist cult in Utah, all Hell breaks loose! Get The Valley of Fire today! "Rolling on the floor laughing." Goddiscussion.com Click to buy it on Amazon!

Justice Kennedy Makes Godzilla's Brain Hurt

Godzilla FacepalmSheldon Adelson, a republican billionaire casino mogul, gave $10 million to Romney’s super PAC, after already giving Gingrich $21 million.  That’s called hedging your bet.  What it isn’t called, however, is corruption or the appearance of corruption.

In Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission, Justice Kennedy said:
“[I]ndependent expenditures, including those made by corporations, do not give rise to corruption or the appearance of corruption.”

In other words, if you think that Adelson’s dump trucks full of cash have even the slightest appearance of corruptive influence on the candidates or the electoral process, Justices Kennedy thinks you’re an idiot.

MarkTwain put it best: “I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's.”  Look up, Justice Kennedy, that’s a monkey’s ass above you.


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When a rogue angel starts a polygamist cult in Utah, all Hell breaks loose! Get The Valley of Fire today! "Rolling on the floor laughing." Goddiscussion.com Click to buy it on Amazon!

Gods are people, my friend!

Once again, Democrats are taking the fun away, this time by refusing to make Romney’s religion a campaign issue.

After four years of conservatives like Hannity, Limbaugh and Savage, blasting Obama’s affiliation with an “out-of-the-mainstream pastor,” Jeremiah Wright, I hoped it would be my turn to have some fun.

I wanted to ask Romney if his God Complex comes from his belonging to a church that claims people can become Gods? (JD 8:161, Brigham Young, September 2, 1860) Or maybe it stems from their doctrine that God was once a man, too! (JD 6:3, Joseph Smith, April 6, 1844)  Now, I don’t care about the validity of these polytheistic pagan beliefs, but they seem more than a little out of the American mainstream.

And can’t we ask Romney if he waffles more than IHOP because his church leaders, when confronted with troublesome facts about their religion’s founding, say things like “Some things that are true are not very useful,” because truth isn’t always “uplifting.”  Awkward!

Let’s not let Biden and his Catholicism off the hook either.  Both he and Romney regularly attend and pal around with a church that denies women equal participatory rights.

Freedom of religion doesn't equal the right to be free from questions about it, especially when you're running for President.

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When a rogue angel starts a polygamist cult in Utah, all Hell breaks loose!  Get  The Valley of Fire today!  "Rolling on the floor laughing." Goddiscussion.com
Click to buy it on Amazon  

Arizona Republikan Party

"Arizona uber alles"Take it easy on the Arizona Republican Party.  It only seems like their leadership is a jack-booted goose step from Nazism.

It’s not as if former Republican Senate President Russell Pearce hung out with, supported and mentored known racist J.T. Ready or ordained him to his church’s Mormon priesthood, is it?  Really?  He did? And he knew Ready was a racist?  Damn it!

Okay, okay, I’ll give you that.  But Pearce is a family man!  Maybe he thought if he took J.T. Ready under his wing that he and his son could straighten him out.  Or are you going to tell me that Pearce’s son Josh is a neo-Nazi criminal, too?  He is?  Are you sure?  An Iron Eagle tattoo and swastika on his neck?  But…but…

Still, Sherriff Arpaio, he’s a good guy, he looks like everybody’s grandpa.  He doesn’t affiliate with racists.   Really?  I hadn't heard that.  He said it was an honor to be compared to the KKK?  Wow, facts are stubborn things.


"The Valley of Fire had me rolling on the floor laughing!" When a rogue angel starts a polygamist cult in Utah, all Hell breaks loose! Get Brett Cottrell's new novel today!
Click to buy it on Amazon or pick it up at your local bookstore.

Revenge of the Bishops, Starring Pope Benedict and the New Inquisition

 Hey! That dinosaur stole my hat!
Last week, the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith (formerly the Inquisition), accused American nuns of “radical feminism.” click for full report

How’d a bunch of devoted nuns get the Pope in such a hissy? It started in 1977, when they told the church it should ordain female priests. Since then, they’ve made “occasional public statements” challenging the male hierarchy, disregarded an edict to deliver “allegiance of heart and mind to the Magisterium of Bishops,” and failed in their duty of “submission of intellect and will” to the Vatican. 
They’ve spent too much time “promoting issues of social justice,” like feeding and clothing the poor and tending to the needy and ill, and not enough time throwing stones at gays and supporters of women’s rights. Christ forgave, Bishops gets even. 
Top 7 Reasons to Support Nuns
1)      They’re accused of “radical feminism”2)      They sent the Blues Brothers, Elwood and Jake, on a mission from God3)      They challenge male hierarchy4)      They’ve gather stones together instead of throwing them5)      They can quiet a classroom with a ruler6)      They didn't perpetrate a global rape scandal and cover-up7)    And finally, they knew how to solve a problem like Maria

Prophet, Seer, Revelator? Thomas Paine says Unnecessary, Useless, Liar.

Zoltar: Prophet, Seer, Revelator.“Prophesying is lying professionally….and a prophet, therefore, is a character useless and unnecessary.”  Thomas Paine, American patriot, Tea-Party favorite, Founding Father and author of Common Sense, The Rights of Man and The Age of Reason. 

Thomas Paine thought Christianity was a cult and the Bible a heap of made up lies that served to “corrupt and brutalize mankind.” But, he reserved his harshest criticism for prophets and revelators:
“I am not one of those who are fond of believing there is much of that which is called willful lying, or lying originally, except in the case of men setting up to be prophets, as in the Old Testament; for prophesying is lying professionally…Those to whom a prophecy should be told, could not tell whether the man prophesied or lied, or whether it had been revealed to him, or whether he conceited it; and if the thing that he prophesied…should happen, or something like it, among the multitude of things that are daily happening, nobody could again know whether he foreknew it, or guessed at it, or whether it was accidental.”
"But admitting, for the sake of a case, that something has been revealed to a certain person, and not revealed to any other person, it is revelation to that person only. When he tells it to a second person, a second to a third, a third to a fourth, and so on, it ceases to be a revelation to all those persons. It is revelation to the first person only, and hearsay to every other…It is a contradiction in terms and ideas, to call anything a revelation that comes to us at second-hand, either verbally or in writing. Revelation is necessarily limited to the first communication — after this, it is only an account of something which that person says was a revelation made to him; and though he may find himself obliged to believe it, it cannot be incumbent on me to believe it in the same manner; for it was not a revelation made to me, and I have only his word for it that it was made to him."
“Upon the whole, mystery, miracle, and prophecy are appendages that belong to fabulous and not to true religion. They are the means by which so many Lo, heres! and Lo, theres! have been spread about the world, and religion been made into a trade.  The success of one imposter gave encouragement to another, and the quieting salvo of doing some good by keeping up a pious fraud protected them from remorse."


"The Valley of Fire had me rolling on the floor laughing!" When a rogue angel starts a polygamist cult in Utah, all Hell breaks loose! Get Brett Cottrell's new novel today!  Click to buy it on Amazon or pick it up at your local bookstore.