Mary DeTurris Poust's Blog, page 37

Everyday Divine: a chapel on wheels

When I returned from my first silent retreat several years ago, I realized that my automatic response upon getting into the car was to turn up the radio. Loud. I wasn’t listening to anything spiritual, mostly the classic rock channel on my satellite radio. The experience of silence on retreat prompted me to give it a try while driving. Instead of singing all the way to and from my daughter’s preschool, I turned off the radio and allowed myself to sink into the quiet of my little makeshift chapel on wheels.

Suddenly the 15 minutes spent driving became refreshing rather than depleting. I’d return home to my basement office feeling as though I’d already had my prayer time. Even now, when life feels beyond crazy, a quiet car is the perfect place to listen to what I might be missing when I’m surrounded by noise and other people.  – Everyday Divine, Page 82

Today, experiment with your car time. Don’t turn on the radio or CD player. Notice your speed, the weather, the way the road curves, the houses or shops along the way. Notice the face of the driver in the car facing you at the stoplight. What might be worrying that person? Pray for him or her. When someone cuts you off in traffic, replace annoyance with unconditional love. When you miss a light and have to wait, focus your idle time on God or the intentions of a loved one.

If you’re going on a long drive and can’t be silent for that long, bring along some spiritual music or even a recorded talk. I have a wonderful CD of Henri Nouwen that provided the perfect prelude to my actual silent retreat at the Abbey of the Genesee two years ago. My retreat started long before I ever arrived at the monastery.

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I should have known… An Ode to Olivia

I should have know you would turn out to be a determined, amazing, strong, daring girl…

…when you burst into the world in record time (less than 30 minutes in the hospital) and at a whopping 10 pounds and immediately demanded to be nursed.

You were ready for this world since before you were born.

…when the children’s librarian said you walk with such determination, like you know exactly what you want and where you want to go — at the grizzled old age of about 18 months.

You are at home wherever you are.

…when your preschool teacher, Noreen, told us during a parent-teacher conference, “Olivia loves everyone, and everyone loves Olivia.”

You are a kind spirit with an open heart and an open mind.

…when, at age 4, you decided to hoard trash and anything else you thought might be thrown away (other children’s artwork, for example) because you thought everything, even trash, was too precious to end up in a garbage can.

You see beauty everywhere.

…when you decided, at age 7, to become a vegetarian because you didn’t want animals to die so you could have dinner.

You put compassion before comfort and convenience.

…when you switched schools and hit the ground running at Elsmere with joy and excitement and anticipation of all that could be rather than sadness over what was.

You look at the future as filled with possibility, seeing “what if..” as a positive not something to fear.

…when you decided you wanted to take camps in blacksmithing, archery, and horseback riding one summer, which followed the year you did photography and Iroquois camp.

You were then and are now my Renaissance girl — beautiful inside and out, talented at everything you attempt, brilliant in school and in life, funny enough to make others laugh and laugh at yourself, self-aware but not self-conscious, full of joy and laughter, unafraid to try new things, unafraid to be who you are, unafraid to dream the biggest dreams you can dream up.

You say some day you’ll live in Paris or Hawaii or California, and I have no doubt wherever you want to go, you’ll get there. One minute you want to be a dentist, then a vet, then a marine biologist, or maybe a photographer or an actress or a chef. I love that you see the whole world as wide open, nothing impossible, nothing not worth considering.

I used tell people I want to be Olivia when I grow up. But now, as you head off to high school and inch closer to adulthood, I just can’t wait to see what you become when you grow up because I know that just going along for the ride will be amazing.

I love you. I admire you. I am so proud of you. Happy birthday, Olivia Irene.

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Wednesday Wisdom: Be moldable but immovable

“And everyone who listens to these words of mine but does not act on them will be like a fool who built his house on sand.” Matthew 7:26

The majestic Adirondack Mountains and the vast Atlantic Ocean are both easily reachable from my home, so this line from the Gospel and the fuller Gospel story (Matthew 7:21-29) elicit some powerful imagery for me. In an instant I am on the beach, where the shoreline constantly changes because of gentle winds or powerful storms. With the crash of even the smallest wave, sand gives way beneath your feet and you can lose your balance.

What are the shifting sands in your life, the things that throw you off balance? Too much work? Too much social media? Not enough silence? Our world moves so fast and is so focused on “flash,” it’s easy to think we’re building fabulous lives on immovable mountains. Then along comes illness, financial strain, a child in trouble, and we realize we’ve built sandcastles, beautiful on the outside but with no support underneath. Where do we get the right building materials?

Jesus gives us the blueprint. It’s not enough to hear his words; we have to act. That can be difficult, but in the end it’s the only thing that will keep our house standing when the tides turn and we are faced with an unfamiliar shoreline. And action begins in silence and stillness, where we find the strength and direction we need. Guided by the Spirit, we can become like shoreline and mountain all at once—moldable but unshakable. — Mary DeTurris Poust, June 2014

This reflection was originally published in the June 2014 edition of Give Us This Day (Liturgical Press), but I thought it made a nice general reflection for this time of year when many of us are heading to beaches and mountains. I am blessed to be one of the regular (every three months or so) contributors to Give Us This Day, which is a wonderful publication and spiritual companion. If you don’t already subscribe, click HERE to see what you’re missing.

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What’s so bad about rose-colored glasses?

“Your mission today, should you decide to accept it, is to start looking at your world through rose-colored glasses. Rather than focus on the crabgrass that’s ruining your lawn, marvel at the intricate beauty of the lowly dandelion. Instead of furrowing your brow in frustration when bees arrive on your picnic scene, focus on their awesome ability to gather nectar from the flowers in your yard and turn it into the golden honey that sweetens your tea.” — Everyday Divine, Chapter 6

And if you need a little extra help in this department, turn to Daniel 3:57-82 and revel in all that God made, from the “fire and heat” to the “dolphins and all water creatures.” Click HERE for that entire Scripture reading.

(Photo by Olivia Poust)

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A kernel of contemplation buried within the chaos

When I wrote my last book, Everyday Divine: A Catholic Guide to Active Spirituality, my original plan was to develop some videos and other helpful tools to help readers and pray-ers put the written suggestions into prayer practice. This is a book about discovering the divine in the everyday, about praying not in the quiet of a chapel (although that’s necessary too), but in the chaos of household chores. It’s a book about finding God in the mundane moments of commuting to work, shopping for food, waiting in a doctor’s office, whatever often seems to pull us away from peace and serenity but actually has buried within it the kernel of contemplation.

But, as is often the case, life — and other work — got in the way, and I stopped practicing what I preach. Now, as I find myself in the renewed chaos of a summer with both work and kids at home, I’m realizing I need to get back down the simple-to-do but difficult-to-remember practice of praying through my days. I know from first-hand experience how this prayer routine can transform hearts and lives. I wrote Everyday Divine right on the heels of my other book that year, Cravings, and rather than being totally overwhelmed by what was a completely insane work schedule, I was fairly calm and centered. That’s because I was actually doing the stuff I was writing about in my books, and all of it kept me spiritually grounded and focused.

So this summer I’ll be renewing my efforts to spread the word about everyday prayer and finding your connection to the divine in the onion you’re chopping, the garden you’re weeding, the vacation laundry you’re folding. Keep an eye out for photo memes with little reminders to stop looking for extra time for prayer and start turning everyday activities into moving meditations.

Here’s a little encouragement from Chapter 1 of Everyday Divine to get you started:

“When you begin to see prayer not as something that happens outside your everyday actions but as the thread that weaves together the disparate parts of your life tapestry, you soon discover a connection to the divine that never dissipates, never wavers, even when the world outside is pounding on the door to your soul demanding to be let in. You can have it all despite the seemingly obvious contradictions — a still point while in constant motion, silence in the midst of never-ending noise, sacred vibrations running through the most mundane moments.”

Keep checking back here for everyday prayer practices, as well as on my Facebook author page, on my Twitter feed (MaryDTP), and even on Instagram (CurlytopDTP) and Pinterest (MaryDTP).

 

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Foodie Friday: Slow cooker Thai chicken

We’re dusting of the old Foodie Friday file today to bring you a super easy, super delicious slow cooker recipe. Pop it in the crockpot before you head off to work or the pool and return to dinner ready and waiting. And your house will smell amazing.

We serve this over Basmati rice with a side of steamed snow peas. It’s a favorite with everyone except the vegetarian, but even she has to admit that it smells delicious. Thanks to Dennis for discovering this one. He’s made it quite a few times, but I hadn’t had a chance to sample it until last week because for so long I wasn’t eating meat. Glad I finally got a chance to try it.

Ingredients:

2 1/2 pounds boneless, skinless chicken thighs (or chicken pieces, if you prefer)
1 cup hot salsa
1/4 cup peanut butter
2 tablespoons fresh-squeezed lime juice
1 tablespoon soy sauce
1 teaspoon minced ginger
Hot cooked rice
1/2 cup peanuts, chopped
2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro

Directions:

Placed chicken in slow cooker. Combine salsa, peanut butter, lime juice, soy sauce and ginger, and pour over chicken.
Cover; cook on LOW 8 to 9 hours or on HIGH 3 to 4 hours.
Serve chicken and sauce over rice; sprinkle with peanuts and cilantro.

Serves six, according to the recipe. Which means in our world it serves about four, so we increase the whole thing by half.

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Wisdom Wednesday: Do not lose your inner peace.

About five for six years ago, I kept bumping into St. Francis de Sales. He seemed to show up at every turn in my reading and writing. That’s when I first discovered his beautiful reflections on spiritual friendship, which prompted me to write Walking Together: Discovering the Catholic Tradition of Spiritual Friendship (Ave Maria Press). What I love about St. Francis is the fact that this 17th-century bishop’s writings could be so relevant to our world today, not just the writings on friendship but on just about everything. Like the Wisdom Wednesday quote below. There’s lots more where this came from:

Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset. — Saint Francis de Sales

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Manic Monday: On the edge of summer

Summer vacation STILL hasn’t started for us. A few more days of school before the kids are free and we sit down to make our annual Beach Bucket List. Noah is taking a Regents exam as we speak and still has his big final oral presentation and a Latin final to go. Olivia is hoping thunderstorms don’t wash out the eighth-grade trip to the Great Escape tomorrow. Chiara is waiting for her last (half) day on Wednesday and her big end-of-year gymnastics performance that night, which will include a triple back-handspring and an aerial cartwheel, I’m told. From what I’ve seen in the backyard, I know she’s serious. And we’ll cap off the school activities with Olivia’s eighth-grade graduation on Thursday morning. Good week behind us, good week ahead of us, lots of good all around us. Here’s our Manic Monday menu:

Bookshelf: Last minute change-up last week because some writers I know said they loved this book: I Remember Nothing by Nora Ephron. Some of it I love; some of it bores me, but a lot of it speaks to me as a writer and as a 50-something woman who can’t remember anything.

Menu: We have been doing A LOT of eating out these days between special events and our new weekly date night, so this week we’re going to try something different: eating healthy for a while. Boring, I know. But it doesn’t have to be. And we’ve still got Olivia’s graduation dinner at Sam’s to look forward to on Thursday. Around here, even when we’re eating healthy, fresh pesto made from the basil growing on our deck is always high on the list. That bowl of glorious green over there on the right is the first batch we made last week.

GPS: We’ve been hitting the Town Pool lately, trying to make sure we get our money’s worth out of that family membership. It’s been too breezy for me to even consider jumping in the water, but I do love sitting in the warm sun, especially now that all three kids are able to handle themselves in the pool without assistance. (Last year Chiara was still a little too young, at least in my book.) When pool weather first approached, I got that queasy feeling in my stomach at the thought of putting on my bathing suit since I’m ten pounds heavier than I was last summer at this time (see weekly date night and unhealthy eating referenced above.) But for the first time in my life I have to say that I didn’t really care. In fact, Dennis has been telling how prefers me at this weight over my more angular lower weight. So it looks like a win-win for me. I went out and bought two new dresses to celebrate. Being over 50 really is pretty freeing.

Sideshow: It wasn’t really a sideshow, as far as I’m concerned. It was the main event. Lucinda Williams concert at The Egg last week. Amazing. I wrote about my love affair with Lucinda HERE, and that’s a photo from the show up top.

Viewfinder: Here’s the cool photo collage Dennis made of our overnight date night in Albany this week. So fun. (You can click on image to enlarge it.)

Soundtrack: When Dennis and I were sipping cocktails at the Capital American Lounge & Eatery on North Pearl at the start of our big overnight date night (which I wrote about HERE), I was captivated by a song playing in the background. So Dennis used Shazam to figure out what it was: Ella Eyre performing “Love Me Like You.” When we got home yesterday, I purchased not only that song but Deeper by the same artist. Both are great. I love discovering new (to me) artists. (And I love her big curly hair.) Here’s “Love Me Like You.” Enjoy.

 

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A romantic getaway 10 minutes from home

Dennis and I decided we wanted a romantic night away from home, but with three kids and busy schedules, we didn’t see how that was going to happen any time soon. And then we had an Aha! moment. We didn’t have to go far to get away. Maybe romance was right around the corner. And so we set out to give ourselves a 16-hour escape only 10 minutes from home.

We booked a room at 74 State, the lovely boutique hotel on State Street in the heart of downtown Albany, and we made reservations at Lombardo’s, one of our favorite Italian restaurants in town. Then we shipped Chiara off to a friend’s house for a sleepover and prepped Olivia and Noah for their first night staying home alone. We put on fancier clothes then usual and headed downtown.

Within minutes we were checked into our cozy “junior suite” with a fireplace and jacuzzi tub. We still had more than an hour before our 7 p.m. reservation, so we walked across the street to North Pearl Street to get a cocktail at The Capital American Eatery and Lounge, a new favorite restaurant.

On the way, we happened upon one of the pianos in the “Play Me I’m Yours” exhibit that is happening through July in downtown Albany. I had to play something, even if it was only Chopsticks. Then someone else came along who could really play, so we enjoyed a little street music. (Dennis also dared me to do a Cher pose atop the piano, which I did, as you have already seen in that top photo.)

We had some perfectly mixed cocktails at Capital — a Manhattan for Dennis, gin and tonic for me — in the quiet restaurant that the Times Union referred to as “meat-packing district style.” If we hadn’t been in the mood for Italian, this would have been a perfect pick for dinner. We’ve had two dinner dates there so far and both times the food has been fantastic.

Finally, we were off to Lombardo’s, which was fabulous, as usual. Fried calamari, a bottle of wine from Sicily, zuppa di pesce for Dennis and shrimp wrapped in proscuitto for me, all topped off with an amazing tiramisu.

 

74 State is a great option for a quick night away close to home, if you’re in the Capital Region. Although it no longer has a bar or restaurant, they do include a complimentary buffet breakfast. It was pretty basic and I didn’t love the disposable plates and forks, but I did appreciate saving money by not going out for an expensive brunch, which was our original plan. We were a little sorry we hadn’t brought walking shoes because the beautiful weather was perfect for a quick trip over the bridge to the Corning Preserve along the Hudson. Next time. And there will be a next time.

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Wisdom Wednesday: ‘Go back to blue’

I’ve decided to continue our Lucinda Williams theme by choosing her song “Blue” as our Wednesday Wisdom. One of the few “poems” I’ve written in my life is titled “Blue,” so more Lucinda connection for me there.

Here are the lyrics and then a YouTube video of her performing the song live from a show in 2009. Enjoy.

Go find a jukebox and see what a quarter will do 
I don’t wanna talk I just wanna go back to blue 
Feed’s me when I’m hungry and quenches my thirst 
Loves me when I’m lonely and thinks of me first 

Blue is the color of night 
When the red sun 
Disappears from the sky 
Raven feathers shiny and black 
A touch of blue glistening down her back 

We don’t talk about heaven and we don’t talk about hell
We come to depend on one another so damn well
So go to confession whatever gets you through
You can count your blessings I’ll just count on blue 

Blue is the color of night 
When the red sun 
Disappears from the sky 
Raven feathers shiny and black 
A touch of blue glistening down her back 
Blue

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