Mary DeTurris Poust's Blog, page 34

A Moveable Feast: A day in Florence

I had waited to go to Florence for a long time, since I took an art history class in college, since I read E.M. Forster’s A Room with a View and then fell totally in love with Florence after seeing the wonderful movie adaptation of that book (starring one of my favorite actresses, Helena Bonham Carter). So when we arrived in Florence on the first full day of our pilgrimage and came out of one of those fantastic little Italian alley-like streets to find ourselves in front of the Duomo, I just stopped in my tracks. Really.

Our tour guide was moving us along because we needed to go to a different location (and because the law governing tour guides forbids her from speaking about the Duomo because she is not a local Florence guide). And I said, “I’m sorry but I can’t just walk past this, even if we’re coming back later.” This was my first time seeing the Duomo up close and personal. No way was I just walking on by without taking it all in for a moment or two. And taking a photo or two.

Here’s a quick visit to Florence in photos. Enjoy. (You can click on any of the photos below to enlarge them.)

The famous Duomo…

 

A fountain…

 

Ponte Vecchio…

 

Galileo’s tomb in the Basilica of Santa Croce, where we also saw the tombs of Michelangelo, Rossini, and Machiavelli.

 

Basilica of Santa Croce in the distance…

 

Michelangelo’s David…

 

A typical street…

 

Wine for two…

 

Next up: Siena. Stay tuned.

 

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What are you feeding – fear or joy?

I originally wrote this post in January, but I came across it this morning when I was looking for something else. It was exactly what I needed to hear today, so now you have to hear it again too. Who knows? Maybe someone else out there needs to hear it today as well. Here you go…

I’ve been ruminating on this topic — What are you feeding? — for a while in my private time because I think it’s a pretty big deal. If we feed our fears, if we feed our anxiety, if we feed relationships with people who don’t really care about us or, even worse, make us feel “less than,” we throw a spark on the dead leaves lying around on our spiritual doorstep. Eventually it becomes a raging forest fire of self-doubt or unhappiness and, if we’re not careful, it will siphon off all the energy that should be feeding the good things in our lives.

So as I was driving to yoga class this morning at 5:15 a.m. (Update: haven’t been to yoga in months now), energized by the cold air and cheered by the twinkling lights that still decorate many front porches and trees in our town (Thank you, whoever you are!), I was writing the headline for this post. Because that’s what I do, even when I’m driving, even when I’m showering, even I’cleaning bathrooms or raking leaves. I write. It doesn’t always end up here or anywhere, for that matter, but I write almost non-stop in my head.

And so I walked into yoga class knowing that I would come home and write a post titled “What are you feeding?” and I had already planned to use that graphic up there, the one that says, “Please do not feed the fears.”

I sat down on my mat in the dark and quiet yoga studio and entered into that silent sacred space that exists wherever we want to find it, if we’re willing, even at the YMCA, and I waited for class to begin. And then this is what my yoga teacher read to start our practice:

Listen. Love laughs

at fear. Can you hear it?

And fear fades in the face

of laughter. Let nothing

distract you from the fact

that fear will grow if you

feed it, and shrink when

you pay it no heed. There.

See? Fear disappears, and

leaves love laughing.— From “One Soul” by Danna Faulds

By the time she got halfway through that poem, I was smiling on the inside. By the time she got to the end of that poem, I was smiling on the outside. How did she get inside my head this morning? Not sure, but I’m glad she did.

At the end of class, I went up to my teacher and asked if I could have a copy of what she read and she said something like this (might not be exact but close enough), “I was sitting in my car this morning picking out this poem and I thought to myself, ‘I hope Mary is in class today,’ because I knew you would love this.” Talk about a soul connection, and just when I needed it most. Thank you, Spirit. You never fail me.

I came home from yoga class, went directly to my computer, and unfriended someone on Facebook who was taking energy I didn’t have to give, a “friend” I didn’t even know but who had entered my life through the magic of social media. Why feed the negative? Because we humans tend to have a weakness for that kind of thing, I think. We want to be loved, we want to be understood, we want to be successful, we want, we want, we want. And so we continue to try to make a connection with people who don’t deserve our time and energy, and we focus our hearts and minds on the fears and worries rather on the gifts and blessings. We think by focusing on those things we’ll become stronger, we’ll overcome the fears, but just the opposite happens. We end up feeding that fire of negativity, and it will burn our joy to the ground if we let it. So don’t.

Today I challenge you to let go of one fear you’ve been feeding, one negative thing that takes more than it gives, and use all that energy to feed something good in your life. Focus on one blessing, one person who deserves your attention and love, one joy, and see what happens.

Peace, blessings, joy, love, namaste.

 

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A Moveable Feast: finding family far from home

It’s been almost three weeks since I returned from Italy, and I still haven’t managed to write any posts about the experience or trade my Euro for U.S. currency. That changes today. Well, the writing part does, at least. I’m holding onto the Euro as seed money for the next pilgrimage.  I’ll try to serve up several Moveable Feast posts in days to come about various cities and favorite moments from our fabulous pilgrimage. To get us started, here’s my latest Life Lines column…

It’s interesting how, even when we’re far from our loved ones and friends, we often find ways to create family right where we are, without blood connections, without a shared history. Whether we’re students living in a college dormitory, workers temporarily assigned to a far-off location, or pilgrims traveling in a strange land, we tend to seek out community, a place where we feel accepted and protected, or at least a little less alone.

When I led a 13-day pilgrimage to Italy recently, our group of 37 pilgrims, one full-time English-speaking Italian tour guide and one Italian-speaking fearless bus driver became a family of sorts. Although we started as strangers – with only a few personal connections among the group – as the days and weeks progressed, you could see signs of family emerging.

As group leader, I was in parent role of sorts, separated a bit from the rest of the group but at a perfect distance to watch relationships as they developed. I remember the quiet joy I felt one night, about halfway through our pilgrimage, when we sat in a restaurant in a remote part of Rome. We almost didn’t make it to dinner that night since our driver could barely fit our bus through the narrow roads, and then a brief rainstorm scrapped plans to eat dinner outside under a vine-covered portico. I worried about the group’s mood, but a few minutes later, I watched these former strangers gathered around their tables (photo at top), heads bent together, glasses raised in a toast, laughter echoing throughout the rustic Italian dining room. We had become a family.

Of course, family isn’t all sunshine and happiness. There were moments of frustration, like when yours truly was exasperated over another inopportune bathroom break. (I told you I was like a parent. And a sometimes-impatient parent at that!) There were moments of worry, like when a man in our group fell on the cobblestone street just beyond St. Peter’s Basilica and when a few others had to remain back at the hotel because of leg problems or sheer exhaustion. But as with our families back at home, joy and love overcame everything else. By the end of our journey, we knew these new friends would watch out for us, care for us, and make sure no one was left behind or lost.

And that’s really at the heart of the pilgrim journey: community, family. Yes, we go on these journeys – whether overseas or closer to home – to grow in faith, but we also go to meet others who share that faith, people who will walk with us, both literally and figuratively, as we travel our spiritual path.

As we prayed together in Siena, Assisi, Rome, and Salerno, our faith forged a bond, one that will tie us to each other forever because of the powerful experiences we shared — being only a few feet from Pope Francis when he rode by in the popemobile at the papal audience, attending Mass celebrated by Cardinal Dolan at St. Peter’s Basilica early one morning, kneeling before the tomb of St. Clare in Assisi, standing in the tiny cave where St. Francis once prayed.

As we broke bread on our last afternoon in Massa Lubrense, the town where my grandfather was born more than 100 years ago, the sun beat down with a summer-like intensity, the Isle of Capri was so close it seemed as if we might touch it, and the long tables were piled with family style platters of southern Italian specialties. Just before leaving, our tour group witnessed my “reunion” with Pietro DeTurris, a man who may or may not be a long-lost relative. The family tree seems to point to a connection, but the line of ancestry really didn’t matter at that point. There, under a Sorrentine sky, my real family, my pilgrim family, and my ancestral family merged, and I felt whole and at home.

 

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What would you change about your body?

I saw this last night on a friend’s Facebook page (Thanks, Flo) and had to share. It’s another one of those things that just hit home. It reminded me of the many conversations I’ve had surrounding my book Cravings: A Catholic Wrestles with Food, Self-Image, and God.

When adults are asked what they would change about their bodies, the lists go on and on. We are so hard on ourselves. When children are asked the same question, well, they wish for things like mermaid tails and teleportation. Today I challenge you to see yourself with the eyes of a child. What fantastic feature would you add? Or maybe you wouldn’t change a thing. How refreshing would it be to feel that way? These kids will show you how.

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Courage, just for today

I was actually planning to post something else today, something about my pilgrimage to Italy (finally). But then I saw this essay by Glennon Doyle Melton of Momastery in my Facebook feed, and it hit home, so you’re getting that instead. I hope it’s just what you need to hear today, too. 

“Yesterday I got home from Storyline. Storyline is a conference about how to transform your life into a beautiful story- or how to recognize that your life already is a beautiful story.  It was created by Donald Miller, and now he runs it alongside Bob Goff and Shauna Niequest and this whole team of ridiculously creative, loving people -all of whom are my heroes. Don Miller asked me to speak at Storyline this year with all of these folks I’ve admired from afar for years.  There are no words for the gratitude and holy terror I felt about this invitation. Zero. None. I won’t even try.

“I prepared my speech for seven million hours and I showed up at Storyline in Chicago. I was scared but kept smiling. Straightaway- a woman I’d never seen before came up to me and handed me a bracelet. It said courage on it. I thanked her and put it on and stared at it and felt comforted by this message, but also kind of tired. I keep having to have courage. I really truly feel sometimes that I might just run out of courage like a car runs out of gas. I wished the message on the bracelet said: just go ahead and chill for a while.

“A few minutes later, a very strange thing happened. A different lady walked up to me and handed me another bracelet that looked exactly like the courage bracelet – except that it said: Today. My eyes widened. I put it on and it sat right under the first bracelet so that the message became “Courage Today.” This message clicked.  Just today. Just have courage today, Glennon. One day at a time. Today is all that matters.  …Continue reading HERE (So worth the jump.)

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News flash: Pope Francis isn’t saying anything new

I’ve kept quiet through a lot of the ridiculous stuff that goes on out there in the media world lately. To be honest, I just don’t have it in me anymore to bang my head against the wall of the blogosphere, but today I just can’t keep quiet. One word: EVOLUTION. Why, why, WHY is this breaking news? Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE Pope Francis. (See that photo over there on the left? I took it when I was THIS CLOSE to the pope two weeks ago. If I’d been just a little bit unhinged, I could have jumped that barrier and been in his popemobile. But I digress…) I love Pope Francis. (Remember my post from when he was elected, “My Pope Crush: He Had Me at Hola”? Oh wait, I’m digressing again.) So, anyway, I love Pope Francis, and I appreciate the fact that he wants to get the truth out there, but the truth is that his statements on evolution and the Big Bang theory are not new, not even close. The fact that the press — and a good chunk of the world, I guess — don’t seem to realize this and thinks the pope is making some landmark statement is just mind boggling to me.

But this whole scenario has played out again and again ever since Pope Francis stepped onto that balcony. Our teachings on caring for the poor, loving others, prayer, kindness, the environment, the family, marriage, you name it are all the same as they were when Pope Benedict XVI was pope. In fact, I bet if I gave you a quiz with B16 quotes and Francis quotes you’d be hard pressed to guess which was which. Granted Pope Francis is a PR genius, and he is warm and welcoming and sort of seems like a kind old grandfather, but enough is enough. We have a lot of cool teachings that no one has bothered to read about or listen to. Until now. And only if Pope Francis says them. If you’re interested, check out my book The Complete Idiot’s Guide the Catholic Catechism. It’s chock full of shocking teachings, including our teaching evolution and how it does not contradict our faith. Go figure.

Oh, and FYI: The originator of the Big Bang theory was Jesuit priest and astronomer Georges Lemaître. File that in your back pocket for when you’re on Jeopardy or something.

 

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Pilgrimage: A journey of the heart and soul

It’s easy to romanticize the idea of a pilgrimage, to turn it into something larger than life, something we think we can experience only when have the money, time and stamina to travel to a far-off country to see one of the great spiritual sites. We imagine Lourdes, the Holy Land, Rome, Assisi, and file our pilgrimage plans away on some sort of spiritual bucket list.

But the reality is that true pilgrimage doesn’t require a passport. In fact, it doesn’t really require any travel at all. True pilgrimage is as much an interior journey as a geographical one. If we approach our entire lives with a pilgrim mindset, we can find places that will feed our hearts and spirits just about everywhere we turn – from the little shrine in the next town to the cathedral in our diocese to that historic church near our favorite vacation spot.

My first “real” pilgrim journey was to the National Shrine of the North American Martyrs in Auriesville, New York, where St. Kateri Tekakwitha was born and where Jesuit missionaries St. Isaac Jogues and St. Rene Goupil and lay missioner St. John Lalande were martyred. Although this beautiful and sacred place overlooking the Mohawk Valley is only 45 minutes from my home, it took me eight years to “discover” it, and even then it was only because I was joining my son’s Boy Scout troop for their annual retreat.

Walking on holy ground, praying with other pilgrims, sleeping in a tent not far from the ravine where Rene Goupil died for the faith gave me my first taste of just how powerful the pilgrim journey can be. I felt a sense of oneness with everyone around me, with all those who came before me and all those would come after me.

Pilgrimage has the power to take our spiritual journey to a new level, but without careful and prayerful planning, a pilgrimage can quickly go from spiritual bliss to tourist nightmare.

I was fortunate to go on a 10-day trip to Rome in 2010. It was not arranged as a pilgrimage, and yet I hoped that’s what it would become. It didn’t take long for me to realize that without a willingness to step outside the tourist box, my “pilgrimage” was going to turn into a parade of indistinguishable ancient churches. Even my first trip to St. Peter’s Basilica at noon on a Tuesday left me somewhat disappointed. I was crammed against thousands of other tourists, unable to get near Michelangelo’s Pieta or the main altar. I vowed to come back and experience the basilica as church rather than museum.

The next morning at 7 a.m., I returned to St. Peter’s with a friend. In each of the more than 40 chapels lining the sides of the basilica, priests, many of them tourists themselves, were celebrating Mass in their native languages. We became a congregation of two in one chapel where a Nigerian priest was offering Mass in Italian. This was the St. Peter’s I had longed to experience, one where the heart of the Catholic faith could be felt beating powerfully in the familiar refrains of the Mass, even if the languages were unfamiliar to my ears.

So sometimes it takes a little creative thinking on our part to get a true pilgrim experience. Talk to locals and find out when the church or shrine is less crowded. Ask when Masses or other special services will be celebrated. Try to enter into the local community’s celebrations rather than watching from the outside. It can make the difference between going home with nothing more than a few nice photos and going home with a sense of spiritual renewal.

If you don’t have any plans to travel to a pilgrim site in the near future, look for opportunities closer to home. There are so many wonderful Catholic shrines, churches, monasteries, and chapels to explore, some probably right in your own backyard. That church in the photo on the right is just across the Hudson River from us. Dennis and I spotted it one evening after a dinner out. As I stared off at its spire in the distance from our spot along the Corning Preserve, I wondered aloud what church it might be. Dennis suggested we just get in the car and find out. So we did. A pilgrim moment right at home.

If all else fails, become an armchair pilgrim. Read pilgrim accounts of places you’d like to visit one day and begin to plan. That’s what I did with Assisi. I read and I dreamed and I hoped — for years. And now I am packing my bag and heading back to Italy in two days. God willing, my Assisi dream will become a reality later this week, when I visit the sacred city of Francis and Clare. But my pilgrimage to Assisi really began long ago, long before I ever purchased a plane ticket, because pilgrimage is not just about physically traveling to a different place. It’s an interior journey that requires no passport.

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“Learning to Pray in Scripture” a practical prayer tool

Author Stephen Binz combines the ancient practice of Lectio Divina with theology, history, and Scripture as it relates to the Catholic Mass in a comprehensive new book that can be used by individuals or groups. Using the lectio practice of listening, understanding, reflecting, praying and acting, Binz takes readers through key Scripture passages, offering reflection points to get readers thinking about familiar Scripture scenes in new ways and offering practical suggestions for putting those words into action in daily life.

Here’s my official “blurb” for Lectio Divina Bible Study: Learning to Pray in Scripture (Our Sunday Visitor):

“For so many of us who want to pray effectively with Scripture, the prospect can be overwhelming. In Learning to Pray in Scripture, Stephen Binz gives us a spiritual road map to guide the way. Set against the backdrop of Lectio Divina, this beautiful and necessary book provides readers with the practical tools and inspiring words they need to use the Bible as the basis of regular prayer.”

 

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Wisdom Wednesday: Heart of Darkness

Today’s Wisdom Wednesday is brought to you by Thomas Merton:

“At the center of our being is a point of nothingness which is untouched by sin and by illusion, a point of pure truth, a point or spark which belongs entirely to God, which is never at our disposal, from which God disposes our lives, which is inaccessible to the fantasies of our own mind or the brutalities of our own will. This little point of nothingness and of absolute poverty is the pure glory of God in us… It is like a pure diamond, blazing with the invisible light of heaven. It is in everybody, and if we could see it we would see these billions of points of light coming together in the face and blaze of a sun that would make all the darkness and cruelty of life vanish completely…I have no program for this seeing.  It is only given.  But the gate of heaven is everywhere.” – Thomas Merton, Conjectures of a Guilty Bystander

 

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Marriage: It’s hard work, if it’s done right

In honor of Sister Anne Bryan Smollin, CSJ, who died last week, I thought I would run this Life Lines column from last July. It was sparked by the marriage workshop she offered in the Albany Diocese. The column also ties in nicely with my chat this morning on the Morning Air Show on Relevant Radio. I was talking about marriage and faith. At the end of this column is a link to a follow-up piece I wrote called “Prescription for a Better Marriage: Start dating.”

What Have You Done for Your Marriage Lately?

The days and months and years leading up to a wedding are often filled with romantic dinners and shared dreams, as couples spend long hours getting to know each other and planning for the “big day.” But what we often forget is that the “I do” is not the culmination of all the hard work but the first step on a whole new journey, one that requires even more attention to detail.

Maybe we’re not picking out colors or arranging seating charts, but if we don’t put some regular thought and planning and, yes, sharing of dreams and plans into our existing marriage—whether we’re marking two or 15 or 50 years—things will slowly become a little muddled, a little less satisfying or maybe even outright unhappy.

Most marriage “experts” will tell you that “date nights” should be sacrosanct, preferably weekly but at least monthly scheduled time together that is never dismissed or ignored. And by “date” they don’t mean a quick dinner out where you discuss financial problems, the kids’ school issues, or that argument you had last week. They mean relaxing time to focus on you as a couple, even if it’s just walking through the mall holding hands and talking. Maybe it seems a little silly, even a little selfish, but taking care of your couple-ness is the most important thing you can do for your kids.

I’ll admit that Dennis and I have gone on dates fairly infrequently over the years, and we’ve never been on a vacation or even a weekend getaway without our kids. Mostly that’s been due to a lack of babysitters, but it’s also been due to the mistaken notion that taking time away from our children makes us “bad” parents. Turns out the exact opposite is true. You know how flight attendants tell you to put your own oxygen mask on before you help your child in the event of a change in cabin pressure? Yeah, marriage is like that. If you don’t take care of your marriage first, your family life will suffer.

Just recently, Dennis and I decided to attend a workshop called “Strengthening Your Relationship,” which was sponsored by the Diocese of Albany and presented by Sister Anne Bryan Smollin, CSJ. The two-night, six-hour program was like a mini Marriage Encounter. Sitting side by side with about 15 other couples was a great opportunity to refocus on our communication skills, our differences and similarities, and all the ways we can build up what everyday life has a tendency to beat down.

The stresses of work and parenting and life in general use up a lot of our energy. What’s left for us as a couple? Not much, especially since we have no family living nearby and no one to spell us now and then. It’s always been just the two of us trying to hold everything together, and while that’s a great tribute to our strength as a couple, it’s also problematic in that it can turn us more into business partners than loving couple.

Whenever we take dedicated time to focus on our marriage, we are reminded of the many wonderful things that brought us together in the first place, the similar interests and sense of humor, the love of God and family that is so central to our relationship, the beautiful life we’ve created for our children.

Sister Anne suggested that couples make their anniversary date special every month, not necessarily with a dinner out or an expensive gift but with a heart-to-heart conversation about where you are at that moment and where you’re hoping to go next— together and individually. It’s a great idea and an easy way to remember to turn your attention toward your spouse on a regular basis. And by using your wedding date as a springboard, you’ll get to experience a little of that original joy and anticipation month after month, year after year, for as long as you both shall live.

Do you want to read more on how to strengthen your marriage? Click HERE to read “Prescription for a Better Marriage: Start dating.”

 

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