Richard McGowan's Blog: Smashed-Rat-On-Press - Posts Tagged "constant"
Things That Make One Look Like an Amateur
Being an amateur writer is all right. I'm an amateur, sure. I'm the first to admit it. (I'm never even really sure I want people to read my stuff; I go back and forth.) Certainly, I wouldn't really want to be a novelist for a living in any society as screwed up and insane about the cultural role of artists as ours is, but that's a digression.
Sometimes I see writers out there, especially on GR and Amazon, particularly new and/or young writers—obviously proud of their work—doing stuff that makes them look mind-bogglingly amateur, even if their actual writing is good once you crack open one of their books to look. And some amateur moves might contribute to lots of people scooting on by the train wreck while averting their eyes and moseying along toward some other writer's book.
You may have your own big pet peeves and "how-not-to" lists... I'd love to hear about them. For now, I'll share my unvarnished thoughts. (And since I'm an unrepentant deleter, I may even delete this blog post at some point, so don't get too attached to it. All things must pass.)
0. Obvious typos and grammatical infelicities on your cover and/or in your book blurb. Oh, golly, failure to proofread your first-impression introductory material—that's really the grand-mère of all turn-offs for many readers. (Yes, I've even done it myself, sad to say. Oops.)
1. Horrific covers. I won't belabor this one. There's a whole blog of sub-optimal book covers if you want to peruse it sometime... If, as an author, you really can't beg, borrow, or buy any decent cover art from anywhere, go with minimalist: black text on a white ground; title and author only. At least it's readable and can't be criticized much for being in poor taste or poorly executed. (I won't even defend all of my own covers very much here, by the way. I'm sure many of them can be faulted in various ways and nearly everything is a matter of taste.)
2. Having a "series" consisting of one element. Of course when you begin your journey as a writer obviously you have one book, at least for a while. You may have a bunch of ideas and already have drafts for sixteen hefty novels about your Mary Sue. But having a stable with one book in it while blasting aloud that it's Book One of the XYZ Series! is a completely amateur move. Wait until you have two, three, or more books; then go back and put new covers on them all and re-issue them as a series. That's cool. Even more hip is when only the insiders know the stuff is a series, or what number each book is within the series, so they can snoot about it with other hip cats. For the record, Elizabeth Peters mastered this art.
3. Rating and reviewing your own books. Wow. I don't care if you can't get anyone on Earth to read it, not even your cat. Don't ever rate your own book(s). (Not even if it's a big anthology to which you contributed a little poem. Not even.) And if you've already done that, my advice is to go out and kill those reviews immediately, with prejudice. Save your sparkly-warkly self-praising text in a shrine at home if you need to but delete the reviews and ratings; then fervently hope nobody saw them. It may hurt for a while, but you'll get over it. I shouldn't really have to say why it's bad practice, but just in case it's not clear: rating and reviewing your own books practically screams, "I am clueless and deluded". My apologies to anyone who might feel I'm picking on them personally. I can say I've bought nice books written by authors who have rated one or more of their own books.
Number three is my favorite. If you must rate your own book, go make up a sock puppet to take the rap for you. Really.
I know, now it sounds like I'm an awful curmudgeon. But sometimes some things need to be said... Lest you think I'm an old grump, I assure you I'm chortling away as I write this. LOL.
Sometimes I see writers out there, especially on GR and Amazon, particularly new and/or young writers—obviously proud of their work—doing stuff that makes them look mind-bogglingly amateur, even if their actual writing is good once you crack open one of their books to look. And some amateur moves might contribute to lots of people scooting on by the train wreck while averting their eyes and moseying along toward some other writer's book.
You may have your own big pet peeves and "how-not-to" lists... I'd love to hear about them. For now, I'll share my unvarnished thoughts. (And since I'm an unrepentant deleter, I may even delete this blog post at some point, so don't get too attached to it. All things must pass.)
0. Obvious typos and grammatical infelicities on your cover and/or in your book blurb. Oh, golly, failure to proofread your first-impression introductory material—that's really the grand-mère of all turn-offs for many readers. (Yes, I've even done it myself, sad to say. Oops.)
1. Horrific covers. I won't belabor this one. There's a whole blog of sub-optimal book covers if you want to peruse it sometime... If, as an author, you really can't beg, borrow, or buy any decent cover art from anywhere, go with minimalist: black text on a white ground; title and author only. At least it's readable and can't be criticized much for being in poor taste or poorly executed. (I won't even defend all of my own covers very much here, by the way. I'm sure many of them can be faulted in various ways and nearly everything is a matter of taste.)
2. Having a "series" consisting of one element. Of course when you begin your journey as a writer obviously you have one book, at least for a while. You may have a bunch of ideas and already have drafts for sixteen hefty novels about your Mary Sue. But having a stable with one book in it while blasting aloud that it's Book One of the XYZ Series! is a completely amateur move. Wait until you have two, three, or more books; then go back and put new covers on them all and re-issue them as a series. That's cool. Even more hip is when only the insiders know the stuff is a series, or what number each book is within the series, so they can snoot about it with other hip cats. For the record, Elizabeth Peters mastered this art.
3. Rating and reviewing your own books. Wow. I don't care if you can't get anyone on Earth to read it, not even your cat. Don't ever rate your own book(s). (Not even if it's a big anthology to which you contributed a little poem. Not even.) And if you've already done that, my advice is to go out and kill those reviews immediately, with prejudice. Save your sparkly-warkly self-praising text in a shrine at home if you need to but delete the reviews and ratings; then fervently hope nobody saw them. It may hurt for a while, but you'll get over it. I shouldn't really have to say why it's bad practice, but just in case it's not clear: rating and reviewing your own books practically screams, "I am clueless and deluded". My apologies to anyone who might feel I'm picking on them personally. I can say I've bought nice books written by authors who have rated one or more of their own books.
Number three is my favorite. If you must rate your own book, go make up a sock puppet to take the rap for you. Really.
I know, now it sounds like I'm an awful curmudgeon. But sometimes some things need to be said... Lest you think I'm an old grump, I assure you I'm chortling away as I write this. LOL.
Winding Down for the Year End Snooze
According to Nate over at The Digital Reader (and here), [big] publishers' e-book revenues are down in the first 7/12 of the year... People still seem to be reading books, so... What's the problem?
My guess is that some portion of this "problem" has to do with money, like so much else in our cruelish little world. You see... In these latter days, when everyone is writing a book and nobody listens to their parents anymore and no teenage life is complete without constant sighing over the dystopia du jour, there are lots of authors running around. Many of them aren't bothering with the big publishers. These authors all want you to read their books, of course. So they push them out through every available e-channel and offer all the usual sort of commercial enticements: lower the prices, make the first series volumes free, and so forth.
The big publishers haven't quite got that message apparently because, while there are plenty of authors who are OK in my book giving away free stuff, the big-timers are still trying to get people to routinely pay $9 to $15 for a newly released e-book—or even an ancient backlist title.
If you're reading genre fiction, there are plenty of fish in the sea, so why spend lavishly, unless you're following a specific cult favorite? Hundreds of "bargain" books are always available through dailies like BookBub. I've subscribed to their daily since January, and only watch a few genres. Rarely do I pick up even one free book from the list of stuff that comes in my e-mail. And I almost never buy a discounted item. But even so, I now have perhaps a hundred freely-acquired books sitting here; and many haven't even made it actually onto my TRB list; they're still free-ranging on the virtual shelf. And those are just the books on offer that seemed interesting enough to spend 3 or 4 clicks to obtain at the time.
No wonder sales are down! (And I haven't yet even mentioned Project Gutenberg.)
Speaking of free books... (You've been anticipating the pitch, right?) Smashed-Rat-on-Press is screaming from the bottom of the same well as everyone else... Read me! Read me! Well, OK, maybe we're screaming from the bottom of the well on the dilapidated property next door from everyone else...
And that brings us by that Joycean commodius vicus of recirculation to the end-of-year offer... SROP will send a free paperback book—anything in the catalog—to the first eight people who figure out how to e-mail the rodent and ask for the special offer before December 31, 2015. [Fine print: You must be over 30 years of age and live in North America to qualify for this once-in-a-lifetime offer.]
Happy Pre-Holidays, everyone.
My guess is that some portion of this "problem" has to do with money, like so much else in our cruelish little world. You see... In these latter days, when everyone is writing a book and nobody listens to their parents anymore and no teenage life is complete without constant sighing over the dystopia du jour, there are lots of authors running around. Many of them aren't bothering with the big publishers. These authors all want you to read their books, of course. So they push them out through every available e-channel and offer all the usual sort of commercial enticements: lower the prices, make the first series volumes free, and so forth.
The big publishers haven't quite got that message apparently because, while there are plenty of authors who are OK in my book giving away free stuff, the big-timers are still trying to get people to routinely pay $9 to $15 for a newly released e-book—or even an ancient backlist title.
If you're reading genre fiction, there are plenty of fish in the sea, so why spend lavishly, unless you're following a specific cult favorite? Hundreds of "bargain" books are always available through dailies like BookBub. I've subscribed to their daily since January, and only watch a few genres. Rarely do I pick up even one free book from the list of stuff that comes in my e-mail. And I almost never buy a discounted item. But even so, I now have perhaps a hundred freely-acquired books sitting here; and many haven't even made it actually onto my TRB list; they're still free-ranging on the virtual shelf. And those are just the books on offer that seemed interesting enough to spend 3 or 4 clicks to obtain at the time.
No wonder sales are down! (And I haven't yet even mentioned Project Gutenberg.)
Speaking of free books... (You've been anticipating the pitch, right?) Smashed-Rat-on-Press is screaming from the bottom of the same well as everyone else... Read me! Read me! Well, OK, maybe we're screaming from the bottom of the well on the dilapidated property next door from everyone else...
And that brings us by that Joycean commodius vicus of recirculation to the end-of-year offer... SROP will send a free paperback book—anything in the catalog—to the first eight people who figure out how to e-mail the rodent and ask for the special offer before December 31, 2015. [Fine print: You must be over 30 years of age and live in North America to qualify for this once-in-a-lifetime offer.]
Happy Pre-Holidays, everyone.
Smashed-Rat-On-Press
The main purpose of this blog is to announce occasional additions and changes to the SROP catalog or the site. And it doubles as a soap-box from which to gesticulate and babble...
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