Taven Moore's Blog, page 18

Scent Magic: Dead Heat, Part 3

The Next Installment can be found HERE.

In Which Rose Meets a Tall Dark Stranger Who Needs Her Help.

Related posts:

Scent Magic: Dead Heat, Part 2
Scent Magic: Dead Heat, Part 1
Where The Mountain Meets The Moon

Writing Prompts x3

Reluctantly, he handed over the key
He had waited twenty years to return it
The accident wasn’t her fault

Bre’s Story

Reluctantly, he handed over the key.

“I really won’t do this if I were you.” He said to the boy standing in front of him. The key looked huge in his small hand, like a it belonged more to a giant than man. Its teeth jutted and cut into miniatures blocks at the end, like a forked ax ready to strike. Its long, straight spine shone with a dull brass sheen indicative of use and age.

The boy just gave the old man a sharp look, full of all the arrogance a ten-year old king could muster. Which unfortunately, was quite a substantial amount.

The boy stuck out his chin high in the air, as if the extra quarter of an inch would make his glare more impressive.

“Wizard, I am King. And as King, I must have access to all which is under my domain.”

The wizard cocked an single brown eye brow and said, “As you wish.”

The key, which until that moment, had remained still and inanimate, hummed in the boy’s hand, it vibrated until it was hard to see it clearly. Fear drained the color from his pale face, the wizard noted the key now seemed to be growing, extending even further past the boy’s head. The weight of the key dragged the King’s arms down and with a thump, it landed on the ground.

“Make it stop!” The boy King cried. The wizard watched as the boy tried to pull his hand away, but the key did not let go. The brass seemed to melt off the key and seeped onto the boy’s skin.

A horrible shrill filled the room, it came from the boy as the brass skittered up his arm, and then his neck, and spread over his body like a film.

“Sorry, your Majesty. The Key of Kings listens to no man.” It was only with a bit of detached pity that the wizard watched the boy’s body fold in on itself, one bend followed another, then another. A acrid order emanated from the key and one of its bumps burned red, then white and the former boy king melted with his ancestors.

Tami’s Story

He had waited twenty years to return it.

He stood at her gravestone now. Alone, in the rain. It seemed fitting. It had been raining the day he’d lost her forever.

He lifted the necklace, its delicate crystal butterfly spinning crazily through the air, almost as if she waved to him. He lifted it to his lips and kissed it gently.

Such a tiny thing to have held on to for so long. Such a delicate thing to have kept his soul soothed.

She had been so perfect. His one true only. He’d told her so every precious moment they’d been together.

He started to speak, but his voice broke and it took him a moment to find it again. “I know that you would want me to be happy. I hope you forgive me. I found someone else. Someone who makes me feel the same way that you did. She’s even got big blue eyes, just like yours. Didn’t I always say you had the most beautiful eyes?”

No answer, except a dance of light from the pendant.

“I will always love you.”

Lifting her necklace with a shaking hand, he gave it a final kiss before folding it into a crumpled handful of torn lace. He lifted the cloth to his nose and inhaled, remembering her scent for the last time.

“Time for me to live again,” he said, and left the tiny package on the gravestone.

The first body appeared less than a week later. A woman. Blue eyes, wearing an expensive wedding gown, brutally murdered, wearing all her jewelry except a necklace.

Bluebeard had returned.

Perry’s Story

The accident wasn’t her fault. It totally wasn’t fair of them to sit there, all high and mighty, slinging around the blame as if they had any idea what had happened that night.

For starters, she was still wet behind the ears, as her Nana used to say. How was she supposed to know that mogwais were to be kept dry? Nobody had ever told her she’d be dealing with fictional beasties when she signed up for the course.

In retrospect, of course this seemed obvious. After all, one doesn’t enter the prestigious Miskatonic University of Fictional Realities and expects to be taught dry lessons of Chaucer and Earthly geography, do they?

Still, at the time, it was a surprise. It was SHOCKING, to walk into her first class, 21st Century Mythology, and see a cylon standing docile next to blue police box, a baby dragon, and some sort of creature that looked to be made of black smoke.

They really did do things hands-on in the city as compared to the sticks where she’d grown up.

But she’d loved the university. Loved the practical experience and the research into the creation of these fictional worlds and how to create her own fictional worlds, with monsters and creatures and characters that lived and acted of their own volition.

She blamed her roommate.

Her roommate who’d come home one night to tell her of the surprise seminar that was being held at Massey Hall at midnight. The seminar would cover the breaking of Creation Laws during the previous century. She’d gone along, her roommate always knew where the coolest hidden secrets were to the Miskatonic and had never steered her wrong before.

And the mogwai was there on the table, looking so cute…she didn’t mean to knock over the cup of water that was standing next to the cage. And she most certainly didn’t mean to leave the mess for someone else to clean up.

But she was in a rush. Her roommate had told her that they’d managed to pull Jareth the Goblin King from the Labyrinth as a special treat. THE Jareth. And was she going to miss a chance like that?

Hell no.

So if she left the wet little mogwai alone in the cage, reproducing like an asexual bunny? Well…surely, there was some leeway that could be provided, right?

After all, she certainly didn’t feed the damned things afterward. Though, it could be argued, that their cage burst because too many of them had spawned and that one could be tacked onto her bill…

So yes, they got free. But she wasn’t the one who fed them! They would have been fine as cute and cuddly little mogwais if they hadn’t gotten to the buffet table on the sly.

And certainly, she couldn’t be blamed for not stumbling upon them in the janitorial closet, in their cocoon phase, right?

It wasn’t her fault that the university had booked the Creatures of Horror guerrilla seminar just next door, right?

And surely, SURELY, nobody would think to blame her for the gremlins letting loose that nightmares they did.

And the morning after?

The morning after, when the two hundred gremlins (the buffet table had been huge) had finally melted away to that nasty green kludge; when six promiscuous teenagers had been killed in their sleep by Freddy Kreuger, before the seventh had killed him; when the homicidal leprechauns had been rounded up; when Pyramid Head had been sent back to Silent Hill; and Cthulhu had finally been banished by an extant copy of the Necronomicon had been found in the University archives (of course, this was AFTER the university had been reduced to rubble by the summoning of the Elder God); after all of that…surely, SURELY, they wouldn’t possibly try to pin all of that on her, would they?

Just on the basis of spilling a little water on a mogwai?

Yeah, no way. That was crazy talk. There was definitely no way they’d pin ALL of that on her.

But still, as she looked at their arguing faces, she felt the small scrabbling claws of fear scratching at the back of her mind.

They didn’t still burn witches at the stake, did they?

Related posts:

Writing Prompts x3
Mr. Moore is a Wizard
?? Fictional Conversationalist

[Perry] Storytime: Brush With the Law

Interlude: Wherein our hero encounters a member of local law enforcement.

More years back than I care to think on, I was a bright-eyed, apple-cheeked youngster, on his way to take his driving exam to get his G license, which is the last regular driver’s license one needs to get.

I failed.

I did fine on the residential, major street, and highway driving portions of the exam.

But?

I flubbed up the parallel parking.

I flubbed up the parallel parking!

I don’t know what happened. I just misjudged the distance and just completely fucked it all up. I didn’t hit anyone, thank god, but I couldn’t get properly parked.

So, I failed.

Then followed a dark time in my life. The young me was intensely frustrated with my failure. I was frustrated with the chunk of money I’d spent on driver’s ed courses, only to FAIL when it mattered.

I snapped at family and friends, my girlfriend at the time left me.

Yeah…all around, I was not the happiest of Perry’s around.

Fast forward two months.

My rescheduled test was fast approaching and I was still fucking up with the parallel parking and even rear parking.

Enter David.

David was a close friend. Our families had been hanging out together since I was very young, and I’ve known this guy going on twenty-five years now.

The day of the test, David offered to come by and give me some pointers on parallel and rear parking. Foolproof pointers was how he put it.

How could I refuse?

We met up about two hours before the test and he ran me through some tricks and references he used to make sure he was lined up properly.

I took the test and passed with flying colors.

Mission success!

I don’t have to tell you that I was elated. I thanked the guy profusely for his help and told him that anywhere he wanted to go that day, any errand he wanted to run, I’d play the role of chauffeur, no problem, no matter what.

So this guy tells me that there’s a big candy store downtown that he’d always wanted to check out…

Candy store? Downtown? NO PROBLEM.

So we made a trip downtown. A nice leisurely drive with the newly passed-his-drivers-test Perry behind the wheel.

It was a lovely day. I can’t remember what season it was, but for the sake of the story? Let’s say it was autumn because there’s a lovely curving ravine path off the highway exit for downtown that’s gorgeous at that time of year.

We hit up the candy store, David bought a chunk of sweets, then we started heading back up north.

We had to turn right, to get back to a major road that linked up to the highway.

At the next intersection I saw, I maneuvered to make a right turn…when I saw the sign.

NO RIGHT TURNS.

Well…shit.

But what was I to do? I was already in position to make the turn. There were no pedestrians in sight to block the way, the cars that had been lined up behind me were sort of swerving to get around me, honking as they continued on their way.

I figured I was doing more harm than good, blocking up the single lane like I was, so I went for it.

BAM! Right turn. No problems. No pedestrians, no one way street.

Free and clear.

…well, except for the cop on a horse that trotted out from the side of the street, holding up his hand imperiously for me to stop.

Yeah.

I got stopped, WHILE DRIVING by a cop on a HORSE.

I want you to seriously stop for a second and picture that. Really picture it.

Me driving, stopped and pulled over at the side of the road. Mr. Police Officer on his mighty steed, clippity-clopping his way to the driver’s side window.

And David.

Idiot, beloved David, DYING of laughter in the passenger seat.

Man…this cop clip clops next to me? Doesn’t even get off his horse.

Doesn’t get off his horse! I had to sort of lean out the window a bit and peer UPWARD at the bastard being all, “Can I help you, officer?”

I got busted, of course.

Told me that I’d made an illegal right turn and that he would be writing me a ticket.

I did explain the circumstances I found myself in that led to me making the turn, but got ticketed anyway, which I suppose was fair.

Looking back on it now, it was fair.

At the time, I was still just…flabbergasted by the fact that of ALL possible things, I’d gotten nailed for my first serious traffic violation by a cop on a horse.

David was telling me the whole time to run the horse over.

eyeroll

The end to the story is pretty anticlimactic.

I dropped off David at his house, told him that I totally regretted playing chauffeur for him that day. He told me I was lying and that I really enjoyed it because now? Now I had a story to tell. The story of the time I got pulled over by a cop on a horse.

Just before we parted ways, David told me not to worry about it. That generally speaking, if you show up to court to fight the ticket, if the cop didn’t show, you could get the ticket thrown out.

Sure enough, when my court date came, that’s exactly what happened.

David came along with me that day too.

And yes…we picked up some candy on the way home.

 

 

Related posts:

Gas Mileage Tips & Tricks
[Perry] And Suddenly – Flood
Advertising Wisely

That Conference 2014

That Conference (aka: Summer Camp for Geeks) was my first professional conference and I had a blast. Held at the Kalahari Resort in Wisconsin Dells, I got to crash at my buddy D’s place and drink a bit of wine to decompress after days filled with strangers.

Pre-registration opened on Sunday and the event itself lasted Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Each morning was kicked off with tasty food (LOTS OF BACON, which is apparently a key feature of the event) and a keynote speech.

Behold! I have returned from my data hunt and present you with an eclectic gathering of thoughts, opinions, wisdom, and knowledge.

Shout out to the guys at InRule who were cool enough to not only share a breakfast table with me, but also chat about everything from Brandon Sanderson novels to Spotpass.

Best con shirt EVER. Kudos to whoever picked it. Fantastic softness and texture.

POWER POSE – stand (much like a superhero) with your legs wide, hands at your hips, and shoulders back. Do this for as little as 2 minutes and Science says your testosterone will go up, your cortisol will go down, and you will be more likely to be hired and admired. It’s weird, but it totally does boost your self confidence a little.

Elizabeth Naramore’s Keynote “Ripples on the Pond”

Negativity Bias is the way that our brains give more weight to negative feedback than positive. We IMMEDIATELY process and accept negative suff, but it can take our brains anywhere from 5-20 seconds to even be aware that something positive happened. We need at least two positive experiences to balance out one negative. Example: This blog post isn’t aimed at anyone, but if I say, “You are a failure,” there’s a pretty good chance reading that felt like a punch to the gut, even just a little. I couldn’t possibly have meant YOU, and yet it probably still stung. You aren’t a failure, by the way. You are an amazing, creative, warm-hearted, and gorgeous human creature. I can assure you that I DO mean that for everyone reading. Even the lurkers, because that is the way I live my life. Everyone is amazing until proven otherwise — and even then, I know they have the CAPACITY to be amazing.

Most programmers and designers happily call themselves “problem solvers” but by its very nature, this title means that we LOOK FOR PROBLEMS. We can overlook a large number of things that are going RIGHT just to find the one thing that’s broken. By focusing on these bad things, we are often pumping some pretty bad mojo into our brain bits.

Social Rejection is a HUGE motivator – and what’s more? Our brain reacts the same way to physical pain that it does to rejection and emotional pain. Every time we feel misunderstood or disrespected or slighted or undervalued, we’re getting a slap right to the cerebral cortex.

This negative brain soup leads RIGHT to Rejection Sensitivity, which is our brain reeling from a particularly nasty hippocampal hernia by doing the absolute worst thing possible. It LOOKS FOR MORE BAD THINGS. This is actually a survival tactic we have used as a species — eating the red berries gave me a nasty case of poisoning, so maybe I’ll keep an eye out and actively avoid the red berries. Someone rear-ended me, so I spend the next month with hands at ten-and-two, staring with white-knuckled fear out my rearview. It’s a lot less useful when the thing we’re afraid of is … oh, say, someone not liking the color of socks we’re wearing that day than avoiding poisonous freaking snakes.

Many professionals suffer from “Imposter Syndrome” — the feeling that at ANY MOMENT, someone is going to figure out that you’re a fraud. This keeps your brain in a heightened state of looking for trouble — aka: Rejection Sensitivity. (STOP THAT, by the way. What we do is a highly complex thing and although we always have room to grow and expand, we’re not FRAUDS just because we think we should be better at our jobs than we are. Grow. Learn. Give yourself a hug for being such a smartie-pants.)

YOU CAN MAKE YOURSELF A MORE POSITIVE PERSON

Practicing gratitude actually changes the physical makeup of your brain. Thank people when they help you. Thank them when they help someone else. Thank them when they smile at you or make your day better. Thank them for doing their jobs. Even just a small, “Hey, thanks!” makes a difference for both YOU and THEM.

Positivity comes with Practice & Training. It is not easy for everyone, and you shouldn’t feel bad if you’re not good at it to start. You SHOULD feel good that you’re trying! That you’re doing your best to make yourself a better person.

Every action you make leaves a ripple. It’s up to you to decide whether those ripples are negative (public shaming, judgement, fear) or positive (support, assistance, enthusiasm, care, education, empowerment, forgiveness, inspiration, respect, encouragement, friendship, celebration, appreciation, understanding …)

Gamification vs Motivation in Chidren’s Educational Applicaitons (by Patrick Seda)

Gamification is the process of adding games or gamelike elements with the intent of encourating participation.

Two kinds of motivation. Extrinsic are external rewards: trophies, money, treats, renown. Intrinsic are internal rewards, your innate drive to do things even without external influence. Reading, poetry, music — many artistic enjoyments are intrinsically motivated.

Gamification is EXTRINSIC in nature. My rewards card at Cupcakes-a-go-go will reward me with a free cupcake for every dozen I buy. Borderlands 2 rewards me with Badass points for every

Activity + Reward = Behavior

You can CREATE intrinsic motivation where there is none by adding a reward.

… but you can also HALT an intrinsic behavior by adding motivation to it! This is called the Overjustification Effect.

The desire for extrinsic (gamification) rewards actually declines over time. The example given here was a child’s game where doing math problems would reward you with digital fish to put in your fish aquarium. Early in the game, if an adult tried to take the game and choose the reward, the child would adamantly refuse. Later in the game, however, the child often didn’t care at all which fish they got — they just wanted to play the game.

The result is that you should make your rewards INTRINSIC — the game itself should be engaging enough to keep the attention. Minimize extrinsic rewards.

Know when the user is struggling and offer hints to keep them from getting frustrated.

Allow users to make decisions about their experience. (Children will often save their favorite puzzle for last)

Unexpected things should happen – animations, easter eggs, etc.

Know that there will be “favorites” (the example given was a game with many side-characters. The least-seen side character was consistently the favorite and much cheering was had when the character would appear) and EXPLOIT these favorites!

Inspiring a Culture of Innovation by Lauren Amundsen

Innovation is Creativity with a job to do. Creativity in ACTION. Without action, there is no Innovation, only an idea.

If you’re failing, that means you’re taking risks! Celebrate your risk-taking and learn and grow.

Learn from Disney’s 3 Rooms and allow for three phases of brainstorming. Dreaming, where bad ideas get voiced and aren’t ever shot down. Realism, where dreams that CAN be done are converted into ideas. And Critiquing, where ideas are painstakingly edited before being brought to life. (note to my writer friends, Realism would be the phase where we write things)

Structure for Unstructured Time. Give yourself (and your employees, etc) time set aside to work on other beneficial projects. The most well-known example of this is Google’s 20% time, where employees are given one day a week to work on side projects.

Small things matter. Even so much as a tiny thank you note can make a huge difference to your friends and coworkers.

Use Deadlines & Timers to CRUSH Analysis Paralysis

SHIP IT. Create a minimally viable product and get it OUT the door.

The Evergreen Developer – Timeless Skills for a Long Career by Josh Schultz

Technologies rise and fall, so when deciding what skills to invest in, remember that soft skills will be necessary regardless of what language you’re coding in.

Avoid wait-to-talk mode. Listen without attempting to insert yourself when other people are talking.

People who don’t feel listented to feel disrespected.

Make it SAFE to disagree.

Ask stupid questions — stupid questions are better than stupid confusion.

Repeat back what you heard. Get used to saying, “Let me make sure I understand that. Is this what you mean?” and don’t be suprised to find out you were wrong about your assumption.

There are two types of conflict — silence and violence. Silence can be MUCH worse because it doesn’t get worked out.

Get rid of your “Guilt Piles” — the list of things you will do “later”. Things like netflix queues, stacks of books you will totally get to reading one of these days. All these do is make you feel guilty every time you look at them and haven’t accomplished that goal. “Piles” of anything is too big.

Social Media keeps us clicking through Fear of Missing Out. Don’t get sucked in by the worry that you might have missed something — you will waste so much time that you’ll miss out on your own life.

Work in sprints. Make “Getting Started” be your goal.

Outsmart future you — and assume that future you will be too lazy to do things.

There are four kinds of willpower: thoughts, actions, impulse, and focus. There is only one well from which to draw your willpower, and things like stress and sickness can drain your well prematurely.

If you haven’t failed at something lately, what are you learning?

Fear of failure keeps us from learning. If you need constant reassurance and you need to appear smart, you are operating from a base of FEAR.

Praise EFFORT, never results.

Approach learning with Project Management strategies.

Miscellaneous Other Notes

When designing websites, ask yourself what devices your users will use and what do they want to do on that device. Give them the least amount of navigation to access their content, but give them at least as much as they need in order to comfortably find what they need. (For my readers, this can be equivalent to NOT USING the Hamburger Icon when designing desktop screens in most situations. The desktop user HAS the available space. use it and don’t make them do an extra click in order to learn or navigate through your site).

Sensors and wearables are gaining ground fast. Pretty soon, if a thing CAN be connected to the internet, it WILL be. Fitbit, Google Glass, Drumpants, Nest, iBeacon … and my favorite, the Sproutling Baby Monitor, which has the best advertising video I’ve ever seen.

“If you wait until your product is perfect, you waited TOO LONG. SHIP IT!”

Our culture is creating users who instinctively know how to use touch devices. Nowadays, 2-year-olds walk up to a mouse and start using it. Soon, waving at a computer will be commonplace.

UX Extends beyond the screen.

Users are attracted to movement, avatars, UI affected by body movement, sound, and 3D.

Sketchnotes

Related posts:

Elsewhere : The Science of Motivation
My Rewards Program
Fitocracy Invites

Blog is FIXED!

Blammo! Kaboom! EXPLOSION NOISE.

We return you to your normal blogging next week. lovemuffins

Related posts:

Blog Housekeeping
Server Issues and Blog Weirdness
NaNoWriMo Pause

Comments Are Broken

I’m working on a fix, but you would not believe how many “fixes” there are for this. Disabling things and changing permalinks and whatnot till I can figure it out.

Till then, no posts.

hugs and lovemuffins

~Tami

Related posts:

Broken Link Checker
On Missing Youtube Videos
How to Encourage Comments

Fear

Why is it so hard to “Just Write”?

We’ve all heard the advice. Butt in chair, fingers on keyboard. It’s not complicated, and it’s echoed over and over again throughout the internet’s advice sphere.

And the thing is? It’s NOT hard to “Just Write”.

The hard part isn’t the doing, it’s the doing DESPITE.

Despite the fear.

And there’s a subtle difference between the Fear of Sucking and the Fear of Not Living Up To Expectations.

The Fear of Sucking tells you that what you’re writing is garbage and you’re wasting your time.

The Fear of Not Living Up To Expectations compounds the Fear of Sucking by telling you that other people are looking forward to reading what you wrote — and they’re expecting what you do to be as good as or even BETTER than the thing you wrote previously.

Even worse? When the thing you’re trying to write is something you’ve been waiting for. Something you’ve told yourself is a precious and wonderful thing that you’ve waited YEARS to get started on. Years during which you’ve honed your skill and gotten better.

If you suck at it now, you’re RUINING the beautiful and wonderful thing it could be, right?

I’ve seen so much advice saying something along the lines of “if you don’t make time for it, then clearly it isn’t important to you.”

I’m here to tell you that’s NONSENSE logic. Sometimes you don’t make time for it because it MATTERS SO VERY MUCH to you and you’re afraid of failure and suckitude.

This paralysis can get even worse as you become a better writer — as you know the myriad ways in which what you are writing isn’t following the rules you know are in place for a reason. When the stuff you’re writing feels bad even as you’re typing it out.

Not all fears are created equal.

There’s the PRESENT fear, the kind that is a direct result of a current threat. Things like Fear of Being Eaten By the Bear Chasing You or Fear of The Man Stealing Your Wallet or Fear of the Car Crashing Into You.

Then there’s the PROTECTIVE fear, the kind where you are avoiding some likely future threat. These are the fears that keep you from wandering down dark alleyways in dangerous parts of the city, and the fears that keep you paying attention to the drivers around you while you’re driving, and the fears that keep girls from taking opened drinks at parties.

Those fears? Those are legitimate fears, and the kind of safety mechanisms that have kept us alive as a species since Fear of Being Eaten by Bears first became a thing.

Fear of Writing is a different kind of fear. It’s Fear of Failure. Fear of Public Shame and Embarrassment. Logically, you know the difference between Fear of Bad Grammar and Fear of Jumping Out of a Plane, but your body does not know the difference.

People have the same sorts of physical reactions to actual danger as they do to writing stressful emails. Heart rate, breathing, posture, facial expression.

Worst of all? Every time you give in to this non-danger fear, you are telling yourself that you dodged a bullet. WHEW, thank heavens you didn’t sit down and write today, that could have been disastrous. You might have written a BORING CHAPTER.

But we feel relief. We feel SAFE.

And every single time we do this, we’re exercising the muscle that says this Fear is a real Fear and we are somehow doing the right thing by avoiding the action.

We’re making our Fears STRONGER. Growing that shadow of doubt until it seems ludicrous that we WOULD actually write. Nobody would want to read it anyway, right? Because it’s probably terrible.

And just think of all the other things we could be doing. Much safer to watch tv with the family. That’s being social. That’s bonding. That’s GOOD. Writing is scary and it’s selfish besideswhich, right?

And who wants to be selfish only to produce something terrible?

Much better to just avoid it altogether.

And before you know it, you’re a muscled-out superhero of Fear Avoidance, capable of leaping over small responsibilities in a single bound.

THAT LINE OF LOGIC IS A TRAP.

It’s exercising our Fears and allowing them to keep us from even trying.

I am inevitably going to write crap. I will suck.

But you know what? I LOVE WRITING. I love creating characters and stories and sharing them with other people, and for all that I’m absolutely terrified of DOING IT WRONG or letting someone down, or (god forbid) using a comma incorrectly, I will write.

Because the only reason I am NOT writing is because I am afraid.

It’s not because I am uninterested. It’s not because I find writing boring or unsatisfying. It’s because I’ve subtly allowed myself to believe that WRITING BADLY is somehow worse than not writing at all.

If you want to write, please. Please write. Even if you DO suck. Even if you’re terrible at it and you can’t imagine a world in which other people will want to read your writing.

Exercise a different muscle. Be brave. Be terrible. Be wondrous.

Be the person you want to be. Even if it’s scary and some folks may laugh at you. Even if you’re pretty sure you’re terrible at it.

You’re not wasting your time if it fills your soul with meaning.

Related posts:

Negative Self-Talk
When Momentum Isn’t a Problem
Taking Writing Seriously

[Perry] Sexiness…For the Gents

Note: the following post may contain content that readers may find objectionable, links to images that may be found objectionable, and probably more about my personal tastes in women than anyone needs to know. 

Viewer discretion is advised.

Alright, so last week, we took a look at what women found sexy in a man.

There was a lot of interesting and insightful discussion and light was shed on this very important topic.

Let’s slice at the loaf from a different direction today, though.

Today, we’ll be looking at the idea of sexiness and what it means for men.

Unlike the topic last week, I will be speaking from a position of personal experience, but keep in mind that in no way am I speaking for all men. We all have different tastes and that’s what keeps the world varied and beautiful.

But…since I’m the one writing this post? Most of the opinions espoused here will have a strong Perry stamp on them.

Let’s get started.

So when I think about what men might defined as sexy, a few things come instantly to mind.

Big breasts, nice ass, long legs, and some skin.

So, in essence, something like this.

Were your initial thoughts along the same lines?

If so, I’m going to say that it’s because of the sexualized figures we run into in the media.

We see them everywhere, don’t we? Ideas of what a sexy woman should look like. We’re saturated with them, really, and the more we see them around, the more our gut reaction is to accept that as the sexy norm. That, in turn, renders them MORE effective, which then makes them more acceptable.

It’s a pretty brutal cycle.

The funny thing is, when we discussed women’s tastes last week, we came to the conclusion that for most women, it was mostly to do with attitude/stance/and ineffable qualities, and a little bit to do with the physical packaging. If I had to put a number to it, I’d say it sat about 70/30 or maybe even 80/20. Does that sound about right?

When it comes to guys, I think that it’s a little more equal between the two qualities, probably around 60/40 or even 50/50.

…This probably doesn’t come as much of a surprise to most of the women in the audience, to tell the truth.

Keep in mind, I’m not saying that it’s all there is, just…that there’s a heavier weighting to that factor for guys than girls.

Let’s talk specifics, though.

For starters, completely unrealistic depictions of boobalicious babes doesn’t really flip that “sexy” switch.

When you take something far enough outside the realm of possibility, it just feels like a caricature of what it’s intended to be.

When you look at a lot of fan service in our media, or comics that were very clearly drawn with a horny teenaged male audience in mind, you’ll see a lot of this. And you see it for the same reason that you see a lot of depictions of “sexy” guys falling into that half naked, fireman, stripper image.

It’s because it works.

On a surface level, there seems to be everything there that you need.

But it works in the same way that eating at McDonald’s will make you feel full.

While it does the job, it does so on a surface level only.

Sure, you can eat there. And sure, occasionally? You might even have a bit of a craving for it.

But would you really WANT to make it a part of your regular diet?

Most likely not.

Here’s a final egregious example of something that doesn’t work.

This is a character named Kaine from a game called Nier. I’ve been told that there’s an actual reason why she’s going around in a dangerous environment, fighting monsters with swords while dressed in some sort of boudoir outfit.

But regardless of the reason? A depiction this blatant usually comes across more as silly than sexy.

So having taken a brief look at what doesn’t work, or at best, works on a surface level only, let’s take a look under the hood.

That elusive, ephemeral other half? That intangible quality that calls out “sexy”? It exists for guys as well, though, I think it’s a little different than what works for girls.

For example, I think sultry works better on guys than it does on girls.

When I was young…-You know what? Nevermind that. Even now, I still hold to the belief that Megaera from Hercules was easily the sexiest Disney princess.

She isn’t dressed in skimpy attire, nor does she have huge breasts or anything.

But it’s something about that intriguing combination of sultry and sass.

I don’t know exactly why it works, just that it does.

Another good example of that mix of sultry and sassy?

Saffron, from Firefly. Or whatever her real name is. It sort of works when she’s playing the innocent waiting to be rescued (and/or ravished? >.>). But it really kicks into high gear once she takes off that mask and smirks her way through being stranded, held at gunpoint, or double crossing peoples.

Yes, I know that she has quite the pair of…assets. But it’s really not all about that.

Well, it’s mostly not about that.

…

Looks up previous estimates

I can safely say that it’s at least 50%-60% not about that.

You know what else works?

Vulnerability.

I KNOW. It’s a bit creepy, not going to lie. But I’m going to plead the fact that it’s likely a genetic thing due to the survival of the species instinct.

Take this example. 

If you can’t take a look at it now, it’s the shower scene from Casino Royale. Where having watched a man die for the first time, Eva Green’s character freaks out a bit and huddles int he shower, fully clothed, where James Bond finds her.

And that shell? That rational and calculating shell that she’d held tightly to herself like armor had cracked, badly. And he comforts her?

That sense of…wanting to help? To be the strong person. To be the pillar upon with a woman leans? Knowing that she can trust you?

I think that works.

Oddly enough, the opposite of that works too.

Strong women are sexy as hell. And they don’t need to be anatomically incorrect, or show a lot of skin to have that effect, either.

I’ve always thought that Samus Aran, of Metroid fame, was sexy as hell.

She was the strong silent type. Orphaned at a young age, taken in and trained by aliens, and now? She’s an intergalactic bounty hunter, carrying out her vengeance against the space pirates that had killed her family.

She doesn’t say a single word in the early games. Her character is conveyed to the audience through her actions and the crushing isolation that you feel when the only other things present are things that are trying to kill her/you.

But she never gives up. That’s the impression you get, even without words. No matter how bad the situation seems, you KNOW that she won’t ever give up.

And that strength? That silent resolve? Very sexy.

The sad thing is? In a later game, they completely killed that impression of her. They put her in a game where they tried to explore her backstory and character, having her interact with other characters and deal with her childhood trauma.

And largely speaking? It was agreed that that game (Metroid: Other M) RUINED her character.

Not because she finally got to talk. Not because she struggled to deal with her trauma.

But because for all the years since her creation, she’d been portrayed as a STRONG character. Incredible strength, iron resolve. Capable. Deadly.

Then this game comes along. In all of the story and speaking scenes? She’s portrayed as a weak, submissive, emotionally shattered woman…then that’s interspersed with gameplay sequences where she’s back to being capable, handling any and all threats that are thrown her way without an issue.

It set up a dichotomy that ruined our impression of her.

It’s like the game Far Cry 3. The main character (you), FREAKS out the first time you SEE someone get killed (your brother stabs a kidnapper in the throat in front of you).

Less than five minutes later? In control of your character, you find a machine gun and you MOW DOWN an entire encampment of bad guys without a moral quibble.

That sort of separation between what we’re told and what we act breaks the character, as well as the story.

But I’m wandering pretty far afield.

Suffice to say that the Samus first presented to us? Strong and capable an iron-willed? Sexy. The weak and doubt-riddled wreck that she’s presented as at a later date? Not so much.

I think it would be safe to say that guys find confidence just as sexy as women do…except in our case, we also want those moments where confidence flees and we become the rock you shelter behind.

Does that hold true for women as well? I’m ever so curious now.

Wrapping things up, the conclusions that I’ve come to is that men lean a little more heavily on the physical presentation side of things in what they consider sexy.

It’s not all of it, but there definitely seems to be MORE emphasis on it than our female counterparts.

But there is more than that. And it straddles both worlds.

It lies somewhere between this and this (Interestingly, the latter example works MUCH more for me than the first one).

Exactly where it is on that line, I wouldn’t be able to tell you.

Just…somewhere between those two extremes lies that sweet spot.

 

 

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[Perry] Sexiness…For the Ladies
[Perry] Magic Systems: The Hook
[Perry] Creating a Strong Villain

[Perry] Sexiness…For the Ladies

This is likely a bit of a delicate topic. There will be pictures hidden behind a link barrier that may lead to questionable content and potentially NSFW imagery. 

Click at your own risk!

Thoughts were spurred by a conversation with Tami, as most tend to be these days.

It was a brief discussion that stemmed from sharing a tongue-in-cheek rendition done by an artist as to what men would like like in Assassin’s Creed if their costumes were designed with the same…uh…emphasis on exposure as most traditional female video game costumes tended to be.

It got me thinking.

I didn’t think that the example Tami linked could really be considered “sexy” for most women…but when I stopped to think of it? I realized that I had only the vaguest possible notion as to what it was that women found sexy in the male form.

I thought this was important. There was a lack of understanding here on my part that I couldn’t abide by, especially given that my current work of writing (very slowly, but it’s coming) featured a female protagonist.

What was I going to do if she decided that she wanted to get together with another character? Have her bonk him on the head and drag him back to her cave for some snoo-snoo?

My knee-jerk, initial thought on the topic was that women would find something like this sexy. 

It’s a classic, right? What woman could resist the siren song allure of half naked, sweaty, and muscled firemen?

Case closed. Problem solved. Let’s move onto weightier topics.

If only.

If only it really were that simple.

If it were? Alex Louis Armstrong would be considered the sexiest male character in the anime Fullmetal Alchemist.

If it were, women would be slavering over Kratos from God of War fame.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that, to be sure. It’s just that I think there’s a bit more of a universal appeal to someone like Jason Mamoa’s portrayal of Conan in the recent remake than the above references.

Ah…now we’re getting somewhere, I think.

Let’s take a better look at this.

Mamoa wasn’t the first man to play Conan. In fact, one of the more iconic portrayals of our favorite barbarian warrior was done by Arnold Schwarzenegger. 

Same character, similar outfits…but? I would be willing to bet that more women found Mamoa’s look sexier than Arnold’s.

I think there’s more to this question than just skin, or costume. I think it goes beyond that.

The more I think about it, the more I think that while skin and muscle and sweat can work to flip that “sexy” switch, it does so in a very blunt way. It does so using a sledgehammer instead of finesse.

Let’s take a look at another example.

Dante, from Devil May Cry is an almost stereotypical example of the bad boy archetype that shows up in our media. He also had a reboot not too long ago that had him looking like this, instead. 

Tami suggested that it had more to do with attitude and stance as opposed to just baring skin and lots of muscles. I think she’s onto something.

I told a friend of mine about this discussion and asked her opinions? As to what made a guy pop out as “sexy” to her?

Her response was, “Accent! Smell! Smart! Those are mine.”

So I’m thinking that for women, sexiness isn’t primarily comprised of bared skin, muscle, and sweat.

I’m thinking that for most women, a big part of what gets them going has less to do with what’s on the surface and quite a bit to do with the more ineffable qualities.

I think that most women will find looks a big part of what they find sexy, don’t get me wrong. Just…as opposed to men? I think that the bigger part of what flips that “sexy” switch in women has more to do with…

With an impression of style and grace.

Maybe that lazy, hipshot attitude. You know, that casual insouciant grace that some men manage to carry about them like a mantle.

Maybe something like…this? Or perhaps something like this?

Despite the lack of bared skin, do you think that tends to work better for most women than something like the Conan example above?

Let me know what you think in the comments, whether I started getting closer to the mark with my latter examples or if I’m still way off base. I’d love to know what you think, whether you agree or think I need to learn myself some new lessons heh.

And fellas, don’t worry. We’ll be taking a look at the other half of the equation next week!

 

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[Perry] Amnesia
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Ghost Stories

The Purr-manent Visitor

My friend’s house is haunted.

The night before last, I was crashing on her couch and something landed on the small of my back, hesitated, then leaped away.

Last night, something playfully attacked my blanket-swaddled feet. Not once, but twice.

In both cases, the room was empty. Nothing was there.

The ghost of a kitten is a pretty adorable thing to be haunted by, but I wonder if the poor thing gets lonely. My friend isn’t a cat person, you see, and probably doesn’t even realize she’s got a whiskered visitor.

Pseudo short story, based on probably-real late-night stuff that happened while I was staying at my friend’s apartment.

That’s MY ghost story.

Everyone loves sharing their own, though, so I encourage you to share YOUR ghost stories in the comments.

… I may not reply to them, though, as I’m super sensitive to that sort of thing, and an invisible kitten is just about my limit for scariness.

What’s YOUR ghost story?

Related posts:

On Short Stories – Part 3
On Short Stories – Part 1
On Short Stories – Part 2