Taven Moore's Blog, page 17

Tami has the plague this week

(no, it’s NOT ebola. I’m more likely to die by way of shark attack)

Until Tami no longer has the plague, I cannot promise posts. And I will probably disinfect this keyboard after I submit this. Send thoughts of chicken soup, orange juice, and cough drops my way.

lovemuffins

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Comments Are Broken

[Perry] The Book of Mormon

Wherein our hero takes in a show.

So a while back, while my friend was still teaching English in Korea at the time, we got wind of the fact that the comedy show, The Book of Mormon would be playing in Toronto around the end of the year.

Plans were made, tickets were purchased, far too early in advance, and then we waited.

And waited.

And waited.

It then occurred to me that we might have bought the tickets TOO far in advance.

But at last, the night came.

My buddy had been back from Korea for a month or so by then and we met up and headed downtown.

The show…the SHOW.

You know what? Let me tell you, it’s a bit disconcerting to see elderly men and women, dressed to the NINES for a show that was the brainchild of Matt Stone and Trey Parker, the creators of South Park.

So the show…

It basically follows two missionaries from their missionary training to their first mission trip…out to Uganda. Where they deal with things they’d never been properly equipped to deal with. Like a population distraught and decimated by poverty, AIDS, and crazy warlords who’re out to circumcise the female population.

It was a musical.

It was flat out hilarious.

Like mind-bendingly, side splittingly, hilarious.

And the thing to keep in mind is that though it really seems like just crude humor on the surface? There’s some serious satire going on under the surface, and often? Not even under the surface.

The songs were catchy, and absolutely hilarious.

The physical comedy involved, was a bit on the crude side, but also hilarious.

The message…surprisingly touching.

Have you ever watched South Park? They have a lovely episode called “All About the Mormons”.

If your interest is piqued at all, I’d highly recommend a watch of at least the episode.

And if the stage production happens to make itself near your location?

I’d highly, HIGHLY recommend a watch as well.

Just please be advised that there IS a fair amount of foul language in the show. Not to mention, it’s incredibly irreverent on the whole issue of God and faith? So if you’re the type to be easily offended, probably not going to have the best time.

The show is too close to its South Park roots to be for everyone.

But if you enjoy that kind of thing and you have the chance to check it out?

Again, highly, HIGHLY recommended.

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Art! Dinocookie and Mousie

Two new pieces of art from me.

The first? A patriotic dino dunking a cookie into a glass of milk. Awkwardly, on account of the teeny arms.

The second! A tiny piebald mousie who is happy to see you but a little worried at the same time. whispers It’s okay, lil’ mawazee. These are all very nice people and there’s no need to be anxious.

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Kindle (From Tami this time)

So I WAAAAS going to wait a bit to blog about this, but Perry tipped my hand.

DIRTY, NO GOOD, HAND-TIPPER!

ahem.

Upgrade

I recently upgraded my kindle from the first generation kindle touch to a kindle fire HD 7″ (the new one) (also, seriously, they need to get a better naming system because that is not just ridonk, it’s confusing when buying cases and covers).

Old Kindle

My old kindle still works just fine. Grayscale screen, a couple scuffs and scratches to the plastic body, but nothing wrong with the screen or innards. Battery lasted FOREVER. Good stuff.

You know, until I was trying to read in less-than-ideal situations, with dim lights late at night. I didn’t really feel like leaving the room and sitting alone in a different room with bright lights — I wanted to still be present with the other people … I just wanted to be reading while I was there. Pop in an out of the book to chat a bit or watch a good part of the movie, then go back to it.

I resisted getting a kindle fire for a long time because my friend who has one (HI ANGIE) mentioned that they’re kind of garbage for reading in direct sunlight.

Devices

But? I started paying attention to my device-usage through the house. (Welcome to first world problems, people).

Technically, I have an ipad. Realistically, STEVEN has an iPad.

I have a laptop, but the battery on it is getting old and ever since I upgraded to Mavericks, it’s been trying really really hard to convince me that it’s a brick. This pisses me off more than a tiny bit and combined with other more recent Apple shenanigans, one could say the rose-colored glasses are coming off. My apple fangirl days are behind me.

Regardless, I want to keep the laptop in my writing area anyway, so when I was downstairs and feeling the itch to check on my dragons or see what email or tumblr was up to, I was using my phone.

And let me just say? The iPhone has the WORST viewing area for most of that. And the keyboard really sucks for any kind of actual typing.

Decision

So I was at least pseudo-in-the-market for a tablet. Combine that with pseudo-in-the-market for an eReader upgrade, and the new Kindle fire seemed like a good combo.

Honestly, I probably wouldn’t have gotten anything without BOTH those things being true. Or at the very least, I’d have gotten the Kindle Paperwhite with the backlit screen.

Even being a pretty cheap introduction to the tablet market, upgrading wasn’t an easy decision.

Delight

I am SO glad I did.

Let’s assume you know that being able to call up the internet and tap away at a larger-than-phone keyboard are all good things.

Let me tell you the thing that surprised me the most.

BOOK COVERS.

Shiny, glossy, gloriously colored book covers.

On Yola (my Kindle Touch), every book was indicated by a title and author. Gray text on a light gray background. YAWN CITY

On Ruby (my Kindle Fire), (almost) every book BEGS to be read! I can guess the seriousness of the book based on the cover. I can guess if it’s sci-fi or fantasy. It’s like … it’s like even the books that I’ve already read on Yola look MORE FUN than they did before.

I honestly wasn’t expecting that. My visceral reaction to book covers is MUCH stronger than I’d anticipated, considering myself to be an educated reader.

Remember Tunnel 17

Also? I finally (finally FINALLY GLEEEE) got to read my Digger Omnibus — a comic book that started as a webcomic many moons ago. I kickstartered that project waaaaay back when (and if you’ve known me long, you probably know how much I love all things Ursula Vernon) and got a pdf out of the deal, but it was pretty much illegible on Yola. RUBY, however? Ruby loved it. And so did I.

Cover

Final nail in the coffin? I got a fake leather old-style book cover for Ruby, so she looks fanTAStic, and I keep running my hands over the outside for the tactile feel of it. Got it on Ebay for a song (well, $20. But I sang a little as I purchased it.)

Final

So that’s me and my new tablet-ereader combo. I’m still trying to get a few things working properly — I need to hook it up with netflix and figure out how to get Overdrive working for library books, and the Silk browser doesn’t seem to save passwords for me.

Overall? I am very very pleased with my choice.

Anyone else have any similar experiences with devices or ereaders?

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[Perry] Ereader Advice

Wherein Perry debates the purchase of a new ereader.

So here’s the thing.

I never really thought that I would get into ereaders.

When they first came out? I took one look at them and thought to myself, “Why Perry, you handsome devil you. Can you imagine reading a book off of an electronic device, old bean? Tis the maddest thing, truly. Why would any good person forgo the tactile delight of holding a fresh new book in their hands to read off of some fandangled electronic contraption? Tis truly the most curious thing, wouldn’t you say, pip?”

And so?

I looked down on them. For years.

I snobbed it up pretty hard, not going to lie. Brought out my soapbox every time ereaders were mentioned and extolled the virtues of tactile reading sensation. Things like the feel of the page, as your hands glided past? The way the pages aren’t glossy smooth like magazines…but have the tiniest imperfections? Just enough for you to feel it?

What about the first time you open a new book?

I mean…there are people that talk about the ‘new car smell’? They be crazy. The smell of a freshly cracked new book is where it’s at.

My stance? Lasted for quite a while.

Ereaders went through a few revisions. Amazon got into the action…

Then it was game over.

I moved twice since ereaders came out. And every time I had to lug several huge, back breakingly heavy boxes of books from one house to the next? I wondered. Every time I finished the book I was on in the middle of the day or on the way TO school/class and had nothing to read? I wondered.

I finally took the plunge. I bought a Kindle. And I never looked back.

So this is my third Kindle now. Graduating from the Kindle keyboard, to the physical page turn one, and then another physical page turn one when the first one died after a year and a half.

I’m sort of debating an upgrade…but wondering if it’s a good idea.

I managed to avoid the temptation of the Kindle Paperwhite, despite it’s glowy allure.

But now?

Two or three generations later? I think I’m ready for a new Kindle.

Though, to be honest? The frugal and spendthrift part of me wants to wait…I mean, my current Kindle? May not have all the bells and whistles but it works, you know?

But…the siren song of NEW is hard to overcome…

And in a lovely, fortuitous, serendipitous coincidence? There’s a new Kindle about to release.

The Kindle Voyage is the new flagship ereader.

They’ve upped the cost by a bit, but claim that it’s essentially a glorious reading experience.

But? If I want to appeal to my more frugal nature? The more simple Kindle Paperwhite model is still a stable, new option and probably still has that shiny new feel to it (for me), that the materialistic in me would be satisfied.

I?

I am completely torn.

The frugal part of me says nono.

But the technophile in me says yesyes.

What is a boy to do?

What do y’all read on? Any ereader aficionados out there? What’s your choice of poison? How’s it work for you?

Anyone else planning on upgrading in the next reading season? What’re your thoughts on the potential options?

 

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[Perry] Stuck in a Non-Reading Mood

Have you ever had that situation where you have an amazing book to read. And you know that it’s an amazing book that you’re reading…but you’re just totally not in the mood to read it?

So right now, I’m reading a book called The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland In a Ship of Her Own Making by Catherynne M. Valente.

I love Lady Valente’s work to little bits and pieces. I will stand on a pedestal and shout, for all the world to hear, that her Orphan’s Tales duology stands as one of the most powerful and evocative reading experiences in my life.

However?

Right now?

I’m stalled out.

Make no mistake, the first Fairyland book is a beautiful piece of work. The language is rich and textured. The story is evocative and powerful. There is a LOT of emotion invested into every page. And I’ll reiterate again, it’s bloody beautifully written.

…And yet, I’ve been reading this book for what feels like forever now.

Normally, a book of this length? I usually burn through in a day or two if I’m enjoying it.

So what’s the deal? Why am I dragging my feet through this lovely piece of fiction?

Why am I constantly skipping back and forth over my book list and skimming through some old favorites instead of finishing the Fairyland story?

Why, after all this time, have I not either finished or given up on the book as I have many others?

I don’t have an answer to these questions.

Fairyland is a beautiful, intricately woven, complex, brilliant, and evocative book…

…And I’m just not in the mood for it.

While I’ve been reading Fairyland, I’ve reread a few Dresden novels, some of Ann Aguirre’s work, some Monster Hunters by Correia, some Rothfuss, some of everything, really.

But are you seeing the theme? Easy to read, bite sized books, for the most part.

It’s frustrating, really. Because I WANT to finish the Fairyland book, quicklike. I want to know what happens to September, and if the flying key ever makes its way back to her side. I want to mull and muse over Valente’s incredibly evocative style of writing and think about how to incorporate that into my own work so that I can reach out to touch a reader’s soul and make it sing.

Fairyland is a beautiful novel. The story is richly layered, complex, and full of hidden lessons and fascinating characters.

And…I’m simply not in the mood for it.

This saddens me.

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Scent Magic: Dead Heat, Part 5

New Installment found HERE.

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[Perry] Wherein I Am Blind to Sexism

Apparently.

So here’s the story.

Met up with some friends this past weekend. Among them was my good buddy, my other good buddy, his long-time girlfriend, and her friend, who I’ve been led somewhat to believe, is a lesbian.

The fact that she’s (probably) a lesbian doesn’t really have anything to do with the story. It’s just a description.

So anyway, the discussion turned to some upcoming movies and things of that nature when I mentioned that Stallone was planning to do a spinoff version of The Expendables with an all female cast. He was planning on calling this project, “The Expendabelles”.

My friend’s girlfriend? Immediately scrunched up her face and said that she’d like to rip the balls off of anyone who thought that was a good idea.

Now, time-out for a second.

Before we go ANY further, WHY the hell is that a common-usage phrase? I mean, that’s just…all kinds of wrong. Couldn’t we go for a more neutral “tear out the throat of…” type thing?

You don’t see guys going around exclaiming that they’d like to rip out ovaries!

…Hells, DO you see guys going around exclaiming that they’d like to rip out ovaries? oo

Cause that’s just…seventeen kinds of wrong, right there.

Anyway, digression over. Back to the point.

I didn’t see why “The Expendabelles” was such an antagonizing title.

All of my friends jumped in to explain to me that essentially, stating outright in the title that it was all women (by use of the “derogatory” word “belles”), they were calling attention to the fact that the majority of the cast would be all women.

But…won’t they be?

My friends also brought up the point that if Stallone really wanted to work this project, he should have found some other name for it, something that was more gender neutral, like “The Expendables”, but…different.

The way I saw the issue, I mean…

I’m trying to think of a good way to put this.

At the end of the day, The Expendables movies have sort of turned into a franchise, haven’t they? When you go to watch an Expendables movie, you know what you’re going to get. An ensemble cast of old action stars, a thin veneer of plot, and a lot of explosions, gunplay, and fighting.

If he wants to make a spinoff project which has all of those same elements, but with an all/majority female cast, doesn’t it make sense for him to evoke the original name of the franchise?

Like…if you want to call out to the fans of The Expendables, but you also want to let them know that it’s going to be different in that it’s going to be a mostly female cast.

Do you just use an entirely different name for the project? Or do you use the original name and then add in something that announces the change?

He could have called it “The Expendable Women”, but I doubt that sends the right kind of message.

So my friends sought to educate me, and we had a discussion that involved them telling me that “The Expendabelles” was a sexist title because it basically made special mention of the fact that they WERE women.

I didn’t get that. The point sort of went completely over my head, sad to say.

Actually, it’s worse than that.

I didn’t even comprehend it. Do you get what I’m saying?

That would be like saying “The Powerpuff Girls” is a sexist title.

Or, conversely? Let’s say The Powerpuff Girls did a spinoff series, with three boy characters instead. And they decided to call that, “The Powerpuff Boys”.

Would that be considered sexist? I don’t think it would be…but I didn’t think the previous example was sexist either so, I’m a little leery of my judgement in such things.

The way I see it, it boils down to essentially two things.

It could be that it was sexist to make mention of the fact that it’s the same sort of movie, but with a female cast instead. Which, personally, I don’t really get. Is it sexist to describe the fact that it’s going to be a female cast…when it IS going to be a female cast?

Because if that’s the case, shouldn’t Powerpuff Girls or any title making reference to gender ALSO be considered sexist?

What was that other one? “The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants” or “Pretty Woman”? Shouldn’t those be considered sexist as well?

If that’s not the case, maybe it’s a matter of the word “belle” to reference the female cast and that’s what’s being considered sexist?

But off the top of my head, I wasn’t aware that the word “belle” was in any way derogatory?

I mean, if Stallone was thinking about calling his project “The Expendasluts”, or “The Expendabitches”, that would be a whole different kettle of fish altogether.

But that’s not the case…I’ve always thought that “belle” was a rather lovely word, really.

Hence…the title.

Am I completely blind to sexism?

I trust you guys, oh readers of Tami’s blog.

By and large, we all seem to have a steady head on our collective shoulders.

If anyone cares to weigh in on the matter, I think it might make for an interesting discussion!

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New Post up, found HERE.

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[Perry] Storytime: Haunted Book Covers

Chapter the Nth: Wherein our hero discovers that putting scary covers on scary books makes the scary books much more effective.

A long time ago, I was a fan of a series of books.

These books…they weren’t linked by any characters or themes…or even the world that the characters inhabited.

Instead, they were linked by a single word that featured on every cover.

Goosebumps.

I KNOW, RIGHT?! WEREN’T THEY AWESOME?!

*ahem

Anyway, I used to love the hell out of these books and would eager devour any that fell across my orbit.

It wasn’t that I found them particularly scary (I didn’t), but more…there was something about them. Just the faintest, latent hint of the macabre. It was an interest that would sustain me through the maturing of my tastes as I gravitated toward straight horror some years down the line.

But anyway, Goosebumps.

Have you read those books? There were some classics in there for sure.

And I loved them to bits and pieces…right up until I read that one.

What? Don’t give me that look. Everyone has their own “that one”. Don’t sit there looking all pretty, telling me that you didn’t have a “that one”.

It’s the book that changes your tastes.

In my case? I read my “that one” and then swore off horror novels for years.

Anything remotely scary, I couldn’t stand for a while…all because of one damned book.

And the kicker is?

I can’t remember what the hell the story was about now. I can’t remember the characters or the plot, or the themes, or even any specific thing that happened in the story that scared me.

But the cover? The cover of my “that one” book?

That I remember. Crystal clear, even now, all these years later.

I am, of course, speaking of the cover of Night of the Living Dummy.

Here, share my pain:

LOOK AT THAT CREEPY MOTHERFUCKER!

Look at his dead little eyes and those red lips and that hinged jaw and that bowtie and those ears and those sinister eyebrows and his little prim suit and just goddamned LOOK at him!

Lord have mercy, did that book ever haunt my nights for weeks and months to come.

And the hell of it is? I can’t remember a single thing about the story.

Just the cover.

But the cover is enough.

I was terrified of that dummy. ABSOLUTELY terrified. I couldn’t stand the look of him.

I usually kept my “in progress” books under my pillow when I was done for the night, but I couldn’t bear to sleep, knowing that bastard was leering at me from the cover.

So I put him on the floor next to my bed.

…except, in the middle of the night? I’d sort of lean and peer over the edge? And in the dim, dim light of the dark room, I could see his eyes…glaring at me balefully.

I couldn’t deal with it. So I’d put the book face down on the floor.

That should solve the problem, right?

WRONG.

I kept thinking about it.

Just knowing it was there, right next to my bed…

…That dummy…

So I got up. Young Perry, up in the middle of the frigging night, with the book held in an outstretched hand, very gingerly, between two fingers.

I walked over to the living room and put the book on the floor by the TV. We had a very low to the ground TV stand thing. Not big enough to crawl or reach under…but just a wide enough gap to fit a finger…or maybe a slim book.

I looked at the face of that dummy for (what I thought) would be the last time.

Then? I slid him under the TV stand, so that it ht the back wall.

I went back to bed and slept like a baby.

A week later, I told my parents that I’d lost the book and that I’d pay the fee to the library out of my allowance.

Small price to pay, I thought, for the pleasure of never seeing that fucker’s face again.

Seven or eight years passed.

I’d forgotten all about the book I’d consigned to the depths of the darkness beneath the TV. I’d forgotten that I’d once been ever so frightened of a Goosebumps book. I’d started to scale the lofty heights of King and Lovecraft and even a smattering of Clive Barker.

Goosebumps? Scary? Please. Don’t make me laugh.

I’m sure it’ll amuse some of you to know that when it came time to lift and move the TV? I took a corner and lifted…only to yelp and almost drop the fucking thing on my father’s feet when I came face to face with my forgotten childhood nemesis.

Book covers on scary stories? When they’re done right?

Fucking creepy as balls, no joke.

Years and years later, I was a teenager, reading Stephen King’s IT for the first time.

Done with the book for the night, I put in my bookmark and set the book on the floor by the bed.

I lay there for a moment…trying to sleep, before (unable to help myself), I rolled to the edge of the bed and peered over the side.

A stylized, skull clown face glared balefully up at me.

Nope.

Reached down and turned the book over.

Stephen King’s profile glared balefully up at me.

What was I to do? I wasn’t six or seven years old anymore. We didn’t have that old TV stand, and even if we did, there was no way IT was going to fit under there. It’s a hella thick book.

…

What? Don’t look at me like that. I certainly wasn’t thinking of putting it under the TV even if it was an option.

I was all growed up and a proper teenager, ascairt of nothin’.

…I put the book in the back of my closet and piled clothes all over it to keep it from coming out and getting me while I was asleep.

…What?! Don’t judge me.

It was the only way to be sure…

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