Vicki Hoefle's Blog

Sibling rivalry teaches life long lessons

Consider this: If your child starts a fight with her sibling and you as the parent continuously run over and get into the mix, your child may be learning to connect with you by fighting with her sibling. One of the most important things to our children is their connection with us. Could our response of always trying to break up the fight, actually be part of the problem?

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Our Children are Doing the Best they Can!

As a partially reformed perfectionist it can be easy for me to see tasks done by myself or others that aren’t quite up to snuff. Whose snuff is a question …

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What is the Duct Tape For?

When I talk about Duct Tape Parenting to my friends, I often do so with a little giggle, explaining that the duct tape is for our (the parents’) mouths. This …

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How Does Less is More Parenting Differ from Permissive Parenting?

When parents hear me advocate for using duct tape to control their words and actions as parents, they naturally ask me: What’s the difference between a Less is More Approach and Permissive Parenting? In simple terms – Permissive Parenting offers no boundaries while Less is More Parenting balances boundaries (order) with the freedom to make […]

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How are You Cultivating Your Kid’s Self-Control?

I was recently reminded by numerous child psychologists and researchers from the 2017 film, Screenagers, (a documentary addressing the effects of screens on our kids in the digital age): Your kid’s self-control is the largest factor contributing to their success as an adult. This is great news. Why? Self-control is something ANYONE can learn. So, […]

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A Letter to Duct Tape Parents about the Damn Homework

Dearest Duct Tape Parents, Some parenting issues are like festering wounds. I think we have them addressed… you tell me – Yup, I’ve got this nipped in the bud – and then like the staff infection that simply doesn’t go away, the issue comes back between us again. Homework, blessed homework, is the area where […]

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The #1 Mistake Parents Make with Sibling Rivalry

The #1 mistake I see parents make when dealing with child conflicts is focusing on how to STOP the conflict rather than focusing on TEACHING the soft skills necessary to get along with people who are different from us. (If you were hoping for strategies for dealing with the conflicts when they happen – read […]

The Real Reason it Feels Impossible to Get Your Kids to Help Out

Believe it or not, humans are innately designed to want to learn skills that support independence. This includes your children (even though they may not show it.) Before you say – No way, my kid has no interest in doing anything on their own! let’s take a quick throwback to when your child was a […]

Why Won’t My Kids Talk to Me?

I’m frequently asked this question by my coaching clients: Why won’t my kids talk to me? You spend all day at work and can’t wait to connect with your kids when you get home, only to ask “how was your day?” and you’re greeted with one word answers, empty stares, and closed doors (teens). Or, […]

Teen Fads and Why Parents are Talking about ALL the Wrong Things

Recently I found myself talking to some moms about the Tide Pod Challenge. If you haven’t heard of it, a simple google search will bring you to stories of American teenagers eating laundry detergent pods and posting their antics on social media for approval from their peers. This is no different than the last decade’s […]