Stephanie Verni's Blog, page 10

Empty Nesters in Training

Our little peanuts who are now in college.

You know how it goes. You date, you marry, you have children, you raise them, they grow up and go to college or enter the workforce, and you find yourselves at home, twiddling your thumbs.

So say some.

We love our kids, don’t get me wrong. We dote on them and help them with anything they need. But they’re happy. They’re at college with their friends and significant others, and they’re having the time of their lives. So why shouldn’t we?

Everyone loves to talk about empty-next syndrome (ENS) as if it’s a curse of sorts. I say, let freedom ring! Don’t you remember that feeling of being able to do whatever you want whenever you want? Welcome to empty nest syndrome for beginners! You’re older, for sure, with a hip replacement, more wrinkles, and a few extra pounds, but really, it’s a good time to find those hobbies you loved, reconnect with friends, plan outings, visit family, take a vacation, drink some (or a lot of) wine, read those books you’ve wanted to read, watch those series you’ve wanted to watch, have some fun, and not have to “be home at a certain time.”

From Christmas

And the dinners! Whoa! Now I only have to make dinner for my husband and me and not have to worry about who’s going to be around for dinner with their crazy schedules. (Side note, if you detected an ounce of snarkiness in this paragraph, it’s because I despise making dinner). My kids know I love them enough to cook a second turkey on New Year’s Day for them only days after hosting company for the holidays—as I did—when they are home, and I’ll gladly make them whatever they want (including reservations at a restaurant), but to not have to do it every night of the week??? (Cue George Michael’s song Freedom.)

Look, it’s tough to watch our kids grow up. They need us less. (Wait…let me alter that, because these texts still arrive regularly on my iPhone: “Hi, Mom. Could you put some $$ in my food account?” And I say, gladly! One less meal I have to make! Ha ha.) But seriously, isn’t this what we were tasked to do? Raise them well so that when they do leave the nest, they are competent and happy on their own? Our jobs are for life as parents, but seeing them find their own way is part of the letting go process.

To those of you scared about ENS, let me assure you of something. Remember right after we had kids and we used to say to ourselves, “What the heck did we use to do with all our free time?” because every minute was devoted to raising good kids? Well, you get that time back now to do what you want to do. And guess what else? Sometimes it will include time with your precious kids, and other times, you’ll be doing something that’s been on your bucket list, because Father Time comes back to you, and he doesn’t expect an elaborate dinner.

Dinner with our friends Stacey and David.

We’re not full-time empty-nesters yet. We’re empty nesters in training. And when the pandemic ends, I hope my husband I and will excel at it.

Escape to Italy and Meet Anna, Matteo, and Nicolo

Anna in Tuscany – A Valentine’s Read .99 on Kindle

You’ve suffered through two failed relationships. You’re not sure you believe in love anymore. Then, as a travel writer, your editor sends you to Italy for a year to write about the regions. When you arrive, you meet Matteo, an older gentleman who has lost his wife. In search of a story for your first assignment about Valentine’s Day in Italy, you begin to uncover a love story that changes the way you feel about love. And maybe a little love walks into your life, as well.

Such is the premise of ANNA IN TUSCANY, a little novelette to put a smile on your face and a little warmth in your heart. Available on Kindle for .99.

Be well, i miei amori!

A little more about Anna in Tuscany

Things I Learned From…

First episode Monday, February 7

It’s hard to believe my daughter is going into her second semester of her sophomore year of college at Towson University.

When I was exactly her age at this point in my college career at Towson, my life changed. I was, like her, a second semester sophomore who had changed majors from Business Administration to Mass Communication. I heard other students in my new major talking about their cool internships—at television stations, event venues, and Baltimore’s newspaper. Hearing them talk about these awesome experiences caused me to get off my duff and get serious.

I mailed off a letter to the Baltimore Orioles and within a couple of weeks, I secured a job as a part-time public relations assistant.

My life changed because of this decision to try to add to my resume. My somewhat shaky college career made an about-face. My grades got better, my responsibilities increased, and I balanced a busy college life with a part-time career in baseball for the duration of college.

That job evolved into a total of 13 years with the ballclub. I grew up there. I was promoted. I made my dearest friends there. I married my husband who also worked there, and is now back working at the Orioles after a very full career.

I’ve often thought about writing a nonfiction book about the lessons I’ve learned from working in baseball, and specifically, from working for the Orioles. It was a special group, and so many of the lessons I learned I roll into my own lectures at Stevenson University, where I’ve been a professor for many, many years now.

When you learn a work ethic from the best, from people like the late Bob Brown and Helen Conklin and my friends Julie Wagner and Charles Steinberg, it sticks with you. Anyone can develop a good work ethic, you just have to want it badly enough.

Our friends we made working in baseball.

Just a few year old than I was, watching Charles and Julie work as a young, impressionable college student, inspired me. I wanted to contribute to something big and exciting, and the Orioles offered me that opportunity to marry my communication skills with helping the community in and around Baltimore.

Instead of writing a nonfiction book, beginning Monday, February 7, I’ve decided to start a weekly 5-minute podcast that I will share here on my blog (and on Spotify) with the goal to share stories and inspire. The theme of the podcast will be “Things I’ve Learned From,” and the Orioles will certainly be a focus of a few of these podcasts. I’ve tried podcasts about writing…and believe me, there will be some content surrounding writing…but I want these to encompass a little more than that. I want these podcasts to focus on things we can learn and ways we can grow, with tips I’ve learned along the way that I can share from my experiences working in various capacities and the rich knowledge I’ve gained from others.

I’m inspired to share the Things I’ve Learned From podcasts with you. I love learning, sharing, and inspiring, and I think this will be something exciting for me to focus on in 2022.

xx,

Stephanie

The Writing Report – January 10: Motivating yourself to write in the New Year.

After you’ve stepped away from your writing for a bit, say for the holidays, how do you motivate yourself to jump back into it? It’s often difficult to find that motivation, especially if you’ve left a story mid-stream as I have done with the second novel I’m working on.

To be honest, I’ve never really juggled as many projects as I have over the last year. Having surgery and taking medical leave left me recuperating in my chair for 12 weeks. During that time, I juggled two novellas and a novel. Now, those two novellas have been published, and I’m currently working on publishing a completed novel – The Letters in the Books – and another novel that I mentioned before. I’m nearing 40,000 words on it, but stopped to enjoy the holidays with my family.

Now, as I head back to campus for the spring semester, I have two novels to juggle. One that needs prepping and one that needs to be written. So, where do we find the energy to tackle both projects?

We had 8 inches of snow this week. Getting out in nature to pause and look at the beauty can stimulate your creativity and make you want to write something.

The answer lies in the wonderful writing community we have built online, especially on Instagram. I have tried connecting on Twitter, but I find it difficult to get others to engage. I don’t have the time to post 10 times a day about little aspects of my life and writing. Who cares how many words I’ve written each day or what kind of sandwich I had for lunch or what the name of the first television show I ever watched was? I find so much of the banter to be inane and of little help to promoting a writing career. However, I’ve found a community on Instagram, and that community tends to be incredibly supportive and energetic. Ask for help, they offer it. Stuck in a rut? They give advice. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve leaned on the Instagram writing community for assistance, and they’ve always been there. We all have our favorite social media accounts; do your best to stay engaged in the ones that work for you.

Seeing what other writers are up to can spark ideas, inspire you to get off your duff, or prompt you to finish that last chapter. But the cog only works if you’re an engaged member of the machine; you get inspired, but can you inspire others as well?

We have to do what it takes to continue to write our books. We are storytellers, and though we may forge ahead with ideas and notebooks and outlines, you have to have a community to be able to share these triumphs with.

So, it’s ten days after New Year’s Day. We have to write this year. We have to get somethings done. Set aside some time for you to tap those keyboard keys and let your story flow. Inspire others, and get inspired. We’ve taken time away, but now is the time to get back on track.

I’m planning on writing a little bit each day this week, whether it’s a half-hour or two hours. I will pencil it into my schedule and begin to get lost in my characters and their plots.

Setting aside time for yourself to be creative and write is one of the best gifts a writer can give to herself.

So go and do it.

LISTEN TO THIS on SPOTIFY HERE: https://anchor.fm/stephanie-verni/episodes/The-Weekly-Report–January-10-Motivating-yourself-to-write-in-the-New-Year-e1cnfhe

The Writing Report – January 3

As a way to hold myself accountable for my work as an author, I’m making my New Year’s Resolution to commit to the weekly Writing Report. In this weekly Monday blog post, I will report on what has been done in pursuit of my writing career. I’ll keep each report as short as possible, and will sometimes write in paragraph form, and at other more pressing times when my life as a professor becomes a little hectic, I will write in bullet points.

Let’s begin today’s Writing Report with a short recap and an establishment of my writing goals.

RECAP

Last year, I published two novellas, including Anna in Tuscany (September 2021) and From Humbug to Humble: The Transformation of Ebenezer Scrooge (November 2021). I also completed my first round of full edits on my forthcoming novel The Letters in the Books (contemporary/women’s fiction). As if that weren’t enough, I am 37,725 words into another novel I am writing entitled Dodging Love (historical fiction).

2022 GOALS

My goals are to do the following:

1-Complete another round of edits on The Letters in the Books.

2-Finish drafting Dodging Love.

3-Publish both of these novels in 2022.

4-Work on a marketing campaign for these novels, and as well, work on Year 2 marketing campaign for From Humbug to Humble each Christmas season.

UPDATES

Now that you know my goals, I will give a weekly update as to my activity. This will hopefully do three things:

1-Keep me accountable and on target with my writing projects.

2-Inspire others to do the same with their projects.

3-Keep my readers abreast of how I work toward my goals each week, month, and year.

*

That’s it for now! Happy New Year! And let’s kick some butt this year with our writing!

The Monday Report on Spotify and Anchor.

The Monday Report is also available as a Podcast on Spotify and Anchor.

The Monday Report – January 3

As a way to hold myself accountable for my work as an author, I’m making my New Year’s Resolution to commit to The Monday Report. In this weekly Monday blog post, I will report on what has been done in pursuit of my writing career. I’ll keep each report as short as possible, and will sometimes write in paragraph form, and at other more pressing times when my life as a professor becomes a little hectic, I will write in bullet points.

Let’s begin today’s Monday Report with a short recap and an establishment of my writing goals.

RECAP

Last year, I published two novellas, including Anna in Tuscany (September 2021) and From Humbug to Humble: The Transformation of Ebenezer Scrooge (November 2021). I also completed my first round of full edits on my forthcoming novel The Letters in the Books (contemporary/women’s fiction). As if that weren’t enough, I am 37,725 words into another novel I am writing entitled Dodging Love (historical fiction).

2022 GOALS

My goals are to do the following:

1-Complete another round of edits on The Letters in the Books.

2-Finish drafting Dodging Love.

3-Publish both of these novels in 2022.

4-Work on a marketing campaign for these novels, and as well, work on Year 2 marketing campaign for From Humbug to Humble each Christmas season.

UPDATES

Now that you know my goals, I will give a weekly update as to my activity. This will hopefully do three things:

1-Keep me accountable and on target with my writing projects.

2-Inspire others to do the same with their projects.

3-Keep my readers abreast of how I work toward my goals each week, month, and year.

*

That’s it for now! Happy New Year! And let’s kick some butt this year with our writing!

Lessons of 2021

The best part about life is that you are constantly learning. I take great pride in learning. Sometimes I feel as if the older I grow, the more I learn. Often, the lessons can be inspiring; at other times, they can make you sad or melancholy. But ultimately, these lessons help me continue to grow into the person I want to be…or not be.

Lesson 1: When you go through something tough, you find out who your “people” are. This year, I had surgery to replace my hip. While some people may consider this an easy surgery to recover from, unfortunately, it was not the case for me. It was tough, and I had two problems going on simultaneously: a rotten hip and an injured back. I took the whole semester off from the university. I cried a lot. At times, I lost hope. The pain was intense. The recovery was incredibly slow and required several trips to the surgeon and doctor. It took a while for everything to settle down, and even as I type this 4 months later, I am still not perfect. Not anywhere near it, in fact. But though it all, I learned who my “people” are—the ones you can count on to help you through it. The ones who check on you and call and text. Some sent cards and flowers. And some checked on me regularly to make sure I was okay. They encouraged me when I felt down, and I will not forget their kindness. Had it not been for my dearest family and friends who have lifted me up when all I wanted to do was retreat, I might not be where I am today. Thank you for that. It meant—and continues to mean—the world to me.

A week after surgery in September. Smiling through the pain.

Lesson 2: You are your own best advocate. This has been building over time. While I have confidence in some areas, in other areas I am lacking. My husband has helped me have a backbone…to advocate for myself…and to do this is a little out of my comfort zone. Whether it is for my health or the work that needs to be done as an author or on behalf of our children, if you don’t advocate for yourself, who will?

Lesson 3: Work, work, work is great, but finding that “thing” that makes your heart sing is vital. More than ever, and especially after what I’ve been through the last couple of years with my health situation, I’ve realized that it is vital to enjoy life a little more. As you age and the years fly by, you realize spending time doing what you love really matters. My spare time is spent with friends and family, writing, and boating in the summer. The pandemic is limiting travel for now, but at some point, I look forward to seeing more of the world. What makes your heart sing?

Finding time to do the things we love.

Lesson 4: The sky is the limit. Don’t let other people put a damper on your goals and aspirations. As James Cameron said in a Ted Talk, “Don’t put limitations on yourself. Other people will do that for you.” This year, I wrote three books and published two of them; the third is coming in the spring. I learned that the only thing you are limited by is yourself. Go for what you want. Be happy with how you reach those goals. And don’t compare your goals to someone else’s.

Published these two this year, with another one on the way. Anna in Tuscany is about a travel writer who spends a year in Tuscany and discovers a love story for a Valentine’s Day piece she must write; From Humbug to Humble is the continuation of A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens and what I imagine might have happened to him in the years after he saw the ghosts; and The Letters in the Books is a story of a bookstore owner who is an empath and writes letters to people who are feeling down.

Lesson 5: Avoid the haters. As an author, I’m on a lot of social media. I have to spend an inordinate amount of time marketing myself to help gain readers for my novels. In doing so, I rub up against a lot of angry people who enjoy putting others down or just being downright ugly and disrespectful on social media to others (not to me in particular, but to others. Luckily, I have only encountered a couple of such people online). Avoid these people like the plague. They don’t know you. They hide behind false names and a screen. But make no mistake, they are not kind. Do your best to stay positive and avoid the fringe.

These are my biggest takeaways from 2021. What did you learn? And how will you advocate for yourself in 2022?

Lessons of 2021: Always Learning

The best part about life is that you are constantly learning. I take great pride in learning. Sometimes I feel as if the older I grow, the more I learn. Often, the lessons can be inspiring; at other times, they can make you sad or melancholy. But ultimately, these lessons help continue to grow into the person I want to be…or not be.

Here we go…

Lesson 1: When you go through something tough, you find out who your “people” are. This year, I had surgery to replace my hip. While some people may consider this an easy surgery to recover from, it was not the case for me. It was tough, and I had two problems going on simultaneously: a rotten hip and an injured back. I took the 12 weeks off this semester from the university and did not teach. I cried a lot. At times, I lost hope. The pain was intense and unrelenting. The recovery was incredibly slow and required several trips to the surgeon and doctor. It took a while for everything to settle down, and even as I type this 4 months later, I am still not perfect. Not anywhere near it, in fact. But through it all, I learned who my “people” are—the ones you can count on to help you through it. Some sent cards and flowers, which were lovely and appreciated and lifted my spirits. Additionally, the ones who check on you and call and text…the ones who let you be yourself when you’re feeling down and out and discouraged but lift you out of that funk…I am so appreciative. I was in a pretty low place. I honestly would not have made it through had it not been for the support I received when all I wanted to do was retreat. Thank you for that. It meant—and continues to mean—the world to me. Love you all.

Smiling through the pain.

Lesson 2: You are your own best advocate. This has been building over time. While I have confidence in some areas, in other areas I am lacking. My husband has helped me have a backbone…to advocate for myself…and to do this is a little out of my comfort zone. Whether it is for my health or the work that needs to be done as an author or on behalf of our children, if you don’t advocate for yourself or your loved ones, who will?

The best stress reduction we’ve found.

Lesson 3: Work, work, work is great, but finding that “thing” that makes your heart sing is vital. More than ever, and especially after what I’ve been through the last couple of years with my health situation, I’ve realized that it is vital to do more of what makes your heart sing. As you age and the years fly by, you understand that spending time doing what you love really matters. When I’m not working, I spend time with friends and family, writing, and boating in the summer. The pandemic is limiting travel for now, but at some point, I look forward to seeing more of the world. What makes your heart sing?

Truly: The sky’s the limit.

Lesson 4: The sky is the limit. Don’t let other people put a damper on your goals and aspirations. As James Cameron said in a Ted Talk, “Don’t put limitations on yourself. Other people will do that for you.” This year, I wrote three books and published two of them; the third is coming in the spring. I learned that the only thing you are limited by is yourself. Go for what you want. Be happy with how you reach those goals. And don’t compare your goals to someone else’s. As well, I tackled a new goal: doing some travel writing. I’ve enjoyed writing these pieces immensely, and enjoyed writing for MarylandRoadTrips.com.

Proud of these babies. Anna in Tuscany is an ode to Italy, travel and love stories; From Humbug to Humble: The Transformation of Ebenezer Scrooge is the continuation of A Christmas Carol from where Dickens left off (and is my tribute to my favorite writer ever); and The Letters in the Books is a novel about an empath who brings people together, set in Annapolis.

Lesson 5: Avoid the haters. As an author, I’m on a lot of social media. I have to spend an inordinate amount of time marketing myself to help gain readers for my novels. In doing so, I rub up against a lot of angry people who enjoy putting others down or just being downright ugly and disrespectful on social media to others (not to me in particular, but to others. Luckily, I have only encountered a couple of such people online). But I’ve made it my rule to avoid these people like the plague. They don’t know you. They hide behind false names and a screen. But make no mistake, they are not kind. Do your best to stay positive and avoid the fringe.

These are my biggest takeaways from 2021. What did you learn? And how will you advocate for yourself in 2022?

Book Review: The Stranger in the Lifeboat by Mitch Albom

Last night I started reading Mitch Albom’s newest book called The Stranger in the Lifeboat. I finished it this morning.

I adore Mitch Albom’s knack for telling a good story. Years of journalistic writing make him an exceptional, concise, tight storyteller. His books unfold with ease, with just the right amount of wonder combined with thought-provoking content.

Read this in less than 24 hours. Couldn’t put it down.

The plot of this book is this: In a dire situation if you called out for God’s help, would you believe in Him if a human form appeared and said He was the Lord? Such is the case with a yacht that goes under at sea and only a handful of people survive on a lifeboat together. When a stranger appears and tells them he is the Lord, and that he can save them if only they all believe, the rising action begins.

As in many of Mitch Albom books, he presents us with the ultimate question: Do you believe? Is your faith strong enough to see you through a struggle, whether it’s something you can overcome or something that leads you to your next life—the afterlife? This is where Albom excels as a writer; he forces readers to contemplate their lives, and a possible afterlife.

A few years ago, my friends Chip, Elizabeth, and I had the pleasure of attending a talk that Albom gave in Towson, MD, about one of his previous books, The Next Person You Meet in Heaven, which was the sequel to The Five People You Meet in Heaven. Afterwards, we had the chance to meet him. When I explained to him that I use The Five People You Meet in Heaven in my Interpersonal Communication class, Albom thanked me. He graciously signed my book and we talked for a couple of minutes about writing.

I also use his writing as an example for my students in classes I teach. His prose is succinct and definitely borrows from his work as a journalist. Journalists are taught to tell a story in a specific word count; this is part of their trade. My students must do the same in feature writing, magazine writing, and travel writing. We look at Albom’s work and then at the prose in his novels. There’s a lot to be learned from his writing style.

I’m never disappointed by Albom’s storytelling. It moves. It leaves you hanging. It keeps you guessing. Relationships are of the utmost importance in his novels. Tying people together is a talent, and he knows exactly how to keep you turning the pages. Plus, having suffered the loss of his adopted daughter, Albom knows how to address death in a way that isn’t frightening.

If you’re looking for a quick and potent read, and one that will make you question the strength of your own faith, I highly recommend The Stranger in the Lifeboat. I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.

Officially 3 Inches Shorter

Me and all my tall friends.

I’m 5’1″.

In my next life, I’d like to come back at about 5’5″. Just a few more inches. That’s not asking too much.

Until earlier this year, I was about 5’3″ – 5’4″ thanks to the heels I wore. I was always in shoes that gave me added height. “I can rock a heel,” I would say to people.

Maybe all that heel wearing got me to the point of needing a hip replacement, of learning to walk again without a limp, and leaving behind heels for different types of shoes. Who knows. Maybe it’s that and the fact that there was a helluva a lot of arthritis in the hip joint. Now I’m part titanium.

This “new me” has required a complete overhaul of my shoe closet. Gone are the tall heels. Gone are the sassy stilettos and the flirty heels. Gone are the whopping wedges, the hot heels, and the power pumps.

Yesterday, I bought a pair of Steve Madden patent leather boots for kids (yes, you heard me right) where the heel is even with the rest of the shoe. They are so comfortable and adorable, but alas, they give me little height. My hip and back like them, though. And yes, my foot is small enough that I can wear a size 5 in kids sizes.

A work dress with black patent oxfords. It takes some getting used to….

The point here is, I’m short again. I’m back to being without any lift from my shoes. I may have a complex about my height, even after all these years. Yes, I think I still do.

My students tower over me…almost everyone towers over me…and somehow my closest friends are nowhere near my stature. They are all tall people. What I wouldn’t give to have a little of that height.

As someone who loves fashion, I had to learn a long time ago how to dress for my height and body type. I always laugh when I try on “petite” cut clothing. Do they think that just because we’re petite we don’t have curves? I could always fit into a pair of gorgeous shoes. However, I have a very hard time fitting my booty into “straight” cut jeans and pants.

Why do you think I wear dresses so often?

Unfortunately, now, those dresses will be worn with flats, really low heels and boots, sneakers, or, dare I say, barefoot.

I realize there are bigger problems in the world and this situation is miniscule comparatively.

“It’s the little things,” they say.

I can totally relate.

Have a good weekend, everyone.

A dress with sneakers..,ugh.