Robin Helweg-Larsen's Blog, page 23

Melissa Balmain, ‘Fatal Mistakes’

The pill you’re sure is good for you,
the mole you think you can neglect,
the ache you blame on winter flu:
it’s always what you least expect.

The mat that pads your shower floor,
the flight you take from home, direct,
the car that’s never stalled before:
it’s always what you least expect.

The oddly coiffed New York tycoon
whom no one ever would elect
because he’s nutty as a loon . . .
it’s always what you least expect.

from Satan Talks to His Therapist, by Melissa Balmain (Paul Dry Books, 2023).

Melissa Balmain writes: “In light-verse workshops, writers are sometimes surprised when I suggest trying forms that weren’t designed for funny stuff (unlike, say, limericks or double dactyls). But comic poets can get a lot of mileage out of “serious” forms, from sonnets to sestinas–especially if their humor tends to skew dark. For anxious or obsessive topics, I’m often drawn to repeating forms like the villanelle, rondeau, or (in this case) the kyrielle. The challenge lies in finding ways to surprise the reader even though they know the line that’s coming.”

Melissa Balmain’s third poetry collection, Satan Talks to His Therapist, is available from Paul Dry Books (and from all the usual retail empires). Balmain is the editor-in-chief of Light, America’s longest-running journal of light verse, and has been a member of the University of Rochester’s English Department since 2010. She is a recovering mime.

“Pratfall” by Life Imitates Doodles is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0.

Short poem: RHL, ‘Many Marriages’

Lots of marriage is good –
go ahead! We all should…
but bigamy sadly‘s illegal.
The solution, of course,
is: Encourage divorce!
And remarry. Kings do it. Be regal!

*****

Just published in The Asses of Parnassus – thanks, Brooke Clark!

Photo: “Charles Camilla Jamaica 2008” by Mattnad is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0.

Sonnet: Janice D. Soderling, ‘September Morning’

Across a sun-lit pane, deft, unconcerned,
a spider struts the steps of an old dance,
a set design, in no part happenstance:
and I again to sun and rune returned.
Stumbling along, half blind, half deaf, half-learned,
in yet a day of quarrel and circumstance,
I turn from cluttered web to view askance
night’s daughter, she who never can be turned.

Sleek spider dame with one plan, to consume,
to suck the juice from each unwary fly,
with no grand need to query or presume
if there was meaning in your quarry’s sigh.
Here, in the corner of my fog-filled room,
Atropos grins, her scissors lifted high.

*****

Janice D. Soderling writes: “I don’t write much these days, preferring to use the shortening days to read. But I woke up this morning with the last two lines in my head, and knowing it was an ending to a sonnet, I proceeded to write the rest. Perhaps it asks too much of the reader. Perhaps it is a pretentious piece, of interest only to me. Never mind, I shall keep it, having poured three hours into it.”

Janice D. Soderling has published poems, fiction and translations in hundreds of print and online journals and anthologies over the years. Her most recent poetry collection is ‘Rooms and Closets‘ available at all online bookshops.

Photo: “Spider In Window” by trekkie313 is licensed under CC BY 2.0.

Weekend read: Odd poem: Benjamin Disraeli, ‘To A Beautiful Mute (The Eldest Child of Mr. Fairlie)’

Tell me the star from which she fell,
Oh! name the flower
From out whose wild and perfumed bell
At witching hour,
Sprang forth this fair and fairy maiden
Like a bee with honey laden.

They say that those sweet lips of thine
Breathe not to speak:
Thy very ears that seem so fine
No sound can seek,
And yet thy face beams with emotion,
Restless as the waves of the ocean.

‘Tis well. Thy face and form agree,
And both are fair.
I would not that this child should be
As others are:
I love to mark her indecision,
Smiling with seraphic vision

At our poor gifts of vulgar sense
That cannot stain
Nor mar her mystic innocence,
Nor cloud her brain
With all the dreams of worldly folly,
And its creature melancholy.

To thee I dedicate these lines,
Yet read them not.
Cursed be the art e’er refines
Thy natural lot:
Read the bright stars and read the flowers,
And hold converse with the bowers.

*****

This poem for a mute girl and another (‘To a Maiden Sleeping After her First Ball’) can be found in All Poetry; they each have an accurate but uninspiring AI-driven analysis after them; the subsequent comments are more engaging:
WolfSpirit – “keep writing, Benjamin. you may just be a known poet someday. “
Linda Marshall – “I know Disraeli as a novelist and (of course) as a politician.
This is the first poem of his I’ve ever read!
It has its moments and of course tastes were different in those days but there are rhythmical infelicities and some rhymes that verge on the comic.
I can see why he’s known for his prose rather than his poetry!”

Benjamin Disraeli was born into a Jewish family in 1804; his father quarrelled with the synagogue and renounced Judaism, and had all the children baptised into the Church of England when Disraeli was 12. After school, Disraeli was articled to a law firm at age 16, and his career went from there to stock market speculation, financial ruin, novel writing, and then politics. He was twice Prime Minister of the United Kindom, and was appointed Earl of Beaconsfield by Queen Victoria in 1876. He died in 1881, unmourned as a poet.

Photo: Earl of Beaconsfield, K.G. Photographed at Osborne by Command of H.M. The Queen, July 22, 1878. This file was derived from: Benjamin Disraeli CDV by Cornelius Jabez Hughes, 1878.jpg

Sonnet: ‘Maz’ Griffiths, ‘The Bateleur’

She was returning to the gauntlet when
some dolt yee-hawed a horn. She slewed left, fetched
off course, alarmed, towards the misty fen.
I heard the sharp cries of the crowd, and stretched
my ungloved wrist out wide. She landed there
as softly as a stork re-sits its nest.
She gazed at me and I absorbed her stare.
She preened her wind-combed quills, then came to rest
sphinx-still, her eyes a blaze of feral gold.
The handler bustled up to break the charm.
He mentioned luck, unlocked her talon-hold,
and claimed the eagle from my unscathed arm.
Between her wingbeats, Nature spurned the rule
that beauty shows no mercy to a fool.

*****

Margaret Ann Griffiths, aka Maz, aka Grasshopper, was a British poet known almost exclusively for her online work. She had been active on Eratosphere, and when she died in 2009 ‘The Bateleur’ was a frequently mentioned poem by other contributors remembering her. In his Preface and Personal Recollection to her posthumous collection ‘Grasshopper‘ (Arrowhead Press and Able Muse Press), editor Alan Wickes writes: “There is much in the poem that typifies Margaret Griffiths’ art. The subject matter seems both ancient and modern simultaneously. The sonnet itself is wonderfully organised, metre, form and meaning honed into a rich amalgam. Most of all the poem is beautifuly phrased. Maybe it seems a bit far-fetched to suggest the way the startled eagle settles upon the poet’s ungloved wrist is a metaphor for the power of art over nature, nevertheless there is something mythic about the bird’s return. It is a magical piece in the best sense of that over-used word.”

“Bateleur (eagle), Terathopius ecaudatus at Kruger National Park” by Derek Keats is licensed under CC BY 2.0.

Sonnet: RHL, ‘Zombies and Wolves’

Women I’ve failed or wronged or left behind
approach my thoughts like zombies for the kill;
I’ve literary walled defences – still
given the chance, they’ll eat my brains, my mind.

Through forest, orchard, farmyard in decay,
a shadow of a wolf slips greyly in,
my thoughts of death, grim, wasted, ill, rib-thin,
tracking my weak resolve, hungry to slay.

Mountaintops blown apart, forests clear-cut,
where’s there to hide? Nature doesn’t exist;
her landscapes crushed in patriarchal fist.
This former farmland hides my ruined hut.

Impotent, I still write, thus giving birth
to future wolves and zombies of the earth.

*****

This sonnet was originally published in Candelabrum (a twice-yearly print magazine of formal verse that ran bravely from 1970 to 2010… now sadly defunct, eaten by wolves or zombies or whatever snacks on print poetry magazines), and republished in Bewildering Stories #1039, a decades-old online magazine of primarily speculative fiction.

Photo: “Full ‘Wolf’ Moon – January 22, 2008” by Rick Leche is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0.

Donald Trump’s favourite poem: ‘The Snake’ by Oscar Brown Jr.

On her way to work one morning
Down the path ‘longside the lake
A tender-hearted woman saw a poor half-frozen snake
His pretty colored skin had been all frosted with the dew
“Oh well,” she cried, “I’ll take you in and I’ll take care of you”
“Take me in, tender woman
Take me in, for heaven’s sake
Take me in, tender woman,” sighed the snake

She wrapped him up all cozy in a comforter of silk
And laid him by thе fireside with some honеy and some milk
She hurried home from work that night, and soon as she arrived
She found that pretty snake she’d taken in had been revived
“Take me in, tender woman
Take me in, for heaven’s sake
Take me in, tender woman,” sighed the snake

She clutched him to her bosom, “You’re so beautiful,” she cried
“But if I hadn’t brought you in, by now you might have died”
She stroked his pretty skin again and kissed and held him tight
Instead of saying thanks, that snake gave her a vicious bite
“Take me in, tender woman
Take me in, for heaven’s sake
Take me in, tender woman,” sighed the snake

“I saved you,” cried the woman
“And you’ve bitten me, but why?
And you know your bite is poisonous and now I’m gonna die”
“Oh shut up, silly woman,” said the reptile with a grin
“You knew damn well I was a snake before you took me in”
“Take me in, tender woman
Take me in, for heaven’s sake
Take me in, tender woman,” sighed the snake
“Take me in, tender woman,” sighed the snake
“Take me in, tender woman,” sighed the snake

*****

Donald Trump has repeatedly read this poem in his political rallies as a way of attacking immigrants and the US Government’s immigration policies. The ironies are endless:
– that two of Trump’s wives are themselves immigrants (the current one having a very sketchy background as a “model”);
– that Trump always fails to credit Oscar Brown Jr as the song’s author, consistently naming Al Wilson instead;
– that Oscar Brown was a civil rights activist and for ten years a member of the Communist Party (he left when he decided he was “too black to be red”);
– that the song’s message, a variant on one of Aesop’s Fables, is that kindness can be betrayed;
– that Oscar Brown’s daughters have sent Trump cease-and-desist letters because Trump’s message is antithetical to all their father stood for;
– and as one of the daughters said on CNN, “the elephant in the room is that Trump is the living embodiment of the snake that my father wrote about in that song.“

Photo: “JAZZ: Portrait of Oscar Brown, Jr.” by Professor Bop is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0. (Note: the portrait is by Edwin German.)

Weekend read: Marcus Bales, ‘Ambush’

You’re smiling, nodding, entering some room
Where what weight you once swung you swung for years,
Acknowledging this or that one, most of whom
Are people you politely call your peers.

And like the step you miss that wasn’t there
Kaboom: the rush returns. Awareness bursts
Enormously inside and out, the where
And when, the who and why, the lasts, the firsts.

Then no one listens as you start to speak,
And there’s another, higher, step you miss.
You squint, and almost hear the leather creak,
But readiness is all there is of this.

Your saddlebags and holsters do not rate.
There’s nothing to fight out of if you can.
The ambush turns, indifferently, to wait
For something more than you. Move on, old man.

*****

Editor: I like this poem as it is. However there appears to be more backstory, and Marcus Bales assembles the following: an excerpt from ‘Lonesome Dove’, and Daniel Keys Moran’s comments, and Marcus Bales’ own comments:

After a few minutes the empty feeling passed, but Call didn’t get to his feet. The sense that he needed to hurry, which had been with him most of his life, had disappeared for a space.
“We might as well go on to Montana,” he said. “The fun’s over around here.”

Augustus snorted, amused by the way his friend’s mind worked.

“Call, there never was no fun around here,” he said. “And besides, you never had no fun in your life. You wasn’t made for fun. That’s my department.”

“I used the wrong word, I guess,” Call said.

“Yes, but why did you?” Augustus said. “That’s the interesting part.”

Call didn’t feel like getting drawn into an argument, so he kept quiet.

“First you run out of Indians, now you’ve run out of bandits, that’s the pint,” Augustus said. “You’ve got to have somebody to outwit, don’t you?”

“I don’t know why I’d need anybody when I’ve got you,” Call said.

Even though he still came to the river every night, it was obvious to Call that Lonesome Dove had long since ceased to need guarding. The talk about Bolivar calling up bandits was just another of Augustus’s overworked jokes. He came to the river because he liked to be alone for an hour, and not always be crowded. It seemed to him he was pressed from dawn till dark, but for no good reason. As a Ranger captain he was naturally pressed to make decisions—and decisions that might mean life or death to the men under him. That had been a natural pressure—one that went with the job. Men looked to him, and kept looking, wanting to know he was still there, able to bring them through whatever scrape they might be in. Augustus was just as capable, beneath all his rant, and would have got them through the same scrapes if it had been necessary, but Augustus wouldn’t bother rising to an occasion until it became absolutely necessary. He left the worrying to Call—so the men looked to Call for orders, and got drunk with Augustus. It never ceased to gripe him that Augustus could not be made to act like a Ranger except in emergencies. His refusal was so consistent that at times both Call and the men would almost hope for an emergency so that Gus would let up talking and arguing and treat the situation with a little respect.

But somehow, despite the dangers, Call had never felt pressed in quite the way he had lately, bound in by the small but constant needs of others. The physical work didn’t matter: Call was not one to sit on a porch all day, playing cards or gossiping. He intended to work; he had just grown tired of always providing the example. He was still the captain, but no one had seemed to notice that there was no troop and no war. He had been in charge so long that everyone assumed all thoughts, questions, needs and wants had to be referred to him, however simple these might be. The men couldn’t stop expecting him to captain, and he couldn’t stop thinking he had to. It was ingrained in him, he had done it so long, but he was aware that it wasn’t appropriate anymore. They weren’t even peace officers: they just ran a livery stable, trading horses and cattle when they could find a buyer. The work they did was mostly work he could do in his sleep, and yet, though his day-to-day responsibilities had constantly shrunk over the last ten years, life did not seem easier. It just seemed smaller and a good deal more dull.
Call was not a man to daydream—that was Gus’s department—but then it wasn’t really daydreaming he did, alone on the little bluff at night. It was just thinking back to the years when a man who presumed to stake out a Comanche trail would do well to keep his rifle cocked. Yet the fact that he had taken to thinking back annoyed him, too: he didn’t want to start working over his memories, like an old man. Sometimes he would force himself to get up and walk two or three more miles up the river and back, just to get the memories out of his head. Not until he felt alert again—felt that he could still captain if the need arose—would he return to Lonesome Dove.

“Ambush” developed out of following Daniel Keys Moran on F*c*book. For some time now he has been posting about coming changes in his life, one of which is retirement from the work-force. My poem actually has no connection to his situation at all, apart from my also having retired. He was a much bigger deal, in charge of a lot more than I ever was, in any of my endeavors, but within my limits I was usually in charge of whatever small enterprises I participated in. I imagine the experience of going from being in charge to being supernumary   is about the same, internally, for everyone.

Moran posted the excerpt from McMurtry’s “Lonesome Dove” just recently, as, I inferred, a comment and possibly a reflection on his situation. It certainly resonated with me. Of course Call, the Captain in “Lonesome Dove”, and Moran, and the narrator of “Ambush” all have different situations and different reactions. But there is, I think a family resemblance.

*****

Not much is known about Marcus Bales except that he lives and works in Cleveland, Ohio, and that his work has not been published in Poetry or The New Yorker. However his ‘51 Poems‘ is available from Amazon. He has been published in several of the Potcake Chapbooks (‘Form in Formless Times’).

Photo: “Real Photo Hard Drinking Handsome Cowboys at the Deadwood Dick Saloon Studio Photograph RPPC AZO Stamp Box Hennesy Canadian Club Holland Gin Old Crow 2” by UpNorth Memories – Don Harrison is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0.

Poems on poets: ‘Maz’ Griffiths, ‘Lies’

Perhaps it’s true, as Twain implies,
statistics are the greatest lies
but point for point and size for size,
I think they tie for major prize
with poets’ modest little ‘i’s.

*****

Margaret Ann Griffiths, aka Maz, aka Grasshopper, was a British poet known almost exclusively for her online work. In his Preface and Personal Recollection, editor Alan Wickes speaks of her “belligerent modesty” and her lack of interest in the preservation of her verse. In 2008, after winning Eratosphere‘s annual Sonnet Bake-off with “Opening a Jar of Dead Sea Mud” and being praised by Richard Wilbur, she was a Guest Poet on the Academy of American Poets website, where she was hailed as “one of the up-and-coming poets of our time”.

Her poem ‘Lies’ speaks volumes (in a brief space) about the different types of modesty available to creative figures. Her reputation for wit, intelligence, astute criticism and kind-heartedness goes well with her wide-ranging subjects and diverse styles of verse. She was the preeminent English-language online poet of the early 21st century.

Her work was posthumously collected by fans and fellow poets in the 2011 ‘Grasshopper‘ from Arrowhead Press and Able Muse Press.

Photo: “Anjo da Vila, Vila Madalena, São Paulo, Brazil.” by ER’s Eyes – Our planet is beautiful. is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0.

Short NSFW poem: RHL, ‘The Fig Tree’

The fig leaf symbol’s one of History’s greats
As, inter alia,
It hides, discloses and exaggerates
Male genitalia.
The fruit itself suggests the female form —
Dripping with honey
The little hole breaks open, pink and warm…
The Bible’s funny.

First published in The Asses of Parnassus, this poem was republished in Better Than Starbucks, which earned a “Kudos on your brilliant ‘The Fig Tree'” from Melissa Balmain, editor of Light. And it has now been added by Michael R. Burch to my page in The HyperTexts. That’s a wonderful set of editorial acceptances – it makes me proud, and I have to erase my lingering suspicion that the poem would be thought too rude for publication. Now I rate the poem more highly, as being not just a personal favourite but also acceptable to a wider audience.

It sometimes feels that all I write is iambic pentameter. It is always reassuring when a poem presents itself with half the lines being something else, and the result is a lighter, less sonorous verse. The rhymes are good; the poem’s succinct and easy to memorise. I’m happy with it.

Photo: “Ripe Fig at Dawn” by zeevveez is licensed under CC BY 2.0.