Rachelle D. Alspaugh's Blog, page 38
December 28, 2016
Dallas Baptist University
We spent part of our Christmas break visiting Dallas Baptist University again, once to take care of some financial aid paperwork (when you are adopted after the age of 13, it's a bit more complicated, but more promising). Then we went back again for Juan to have an interview with the admissions counselor regarding a scholarship he applied for. Now we're waiting to see about his acceptance and what kind of financial aid package he is eligible for. I take pictures every time we go now because there are just so many little things about the campus that inspire me.
This sign right here says it all. What Christian Mom wouldn't want their child to be in a place that teaches this? When I first heard about DBU and Juan's interest in going there (thanks to his now Student Pastor who took him by there after spending a day at Six Flags together), I immediately started praying that God would open a door for my son to attend there. No definitive answers yet, but I'm still praying!
Now we've started a new tradition. Whenever we visit, we go to the little Starbucks inside the library. Here are some more examples of things you see while walking around the campus.
The Great Commission (on the oppposite side, it has John 3:16)
One of many prayer gardens. This one particulary states, "Called to Pray". One every side, there is a different verse on prayer.
This is a statue of Jesus right at the entrance, mostly visible as you are leaving the campus.
Having attended both Taylor University and Grace College in Indiana, I know the personal value in attending a Christian college. Those four years were incredibly foundational to my own faith as an adult and really shaped who I am. Living 10 minutes down the road from Grace College made it an easy choice, a choice that quite a few of my high school friends also made to attend there. DBU may not be 10 minutes down the road (more like 40 minutes), but it sure would be nice to send my son off to college to give him the experiences he needs while still having him close to home. Especially considering we're still building those bonds as a family.
We're still waiting to hear about his acceptance and what kind of financial aid package he might be eligible for--to see if it is even a financial possibility for him, but so far, God keeps guiding us in this direction and isn't closing any doors. So we just keep praying.
This sign right here says it all. What Christian Mom wouldn't want their child to be in a place that teaches this? When I first heard about DBU and Juan's interest in going there (thanks to his now Student Pastor who took him by there after spending a day at Six Flags together), I immediately started praying that God would open a door for my son to attend there. No definitive answers yet, but I'm still praying!
Now we've started a new tradition. Whenever we visit, we go to the little Starbucks inside the library. Here are some more examples of things you see while walking around the campus.
The Great Commission (on the oppposite side, it has John 3:16)
One of many prayer gardens. This one particulary states, "Called to Pray". One every side, there is a different verse on prayer.
This is a statue of Jesus right at the entrance, mostly visible as you are leaving the campus.
Having attended both Taylor University and Grace College in Indiana, I know the personal value in attending a Christian college. Those four years were incredibly foundational to my own faith as an adult and really shaped who I am. Living 10 minutes down the road from Grace College made it an easy choice, a choice that quite a few of my high school friends also made to attend there. DBU may not be 10 minutes down the road (more like 40 minutes), but it sure would be nice to send my son off to college to give him the experiences he needs while still having him close to home. Especially considering we're still building those bonds as a family.
We're still waiting to hear about his acceptance and what kind of financial aid package he might be eligible for--to see if it is even a financial possibility for him, but so far, God keeps guiding us in this direction and isn't closing any doors. So we just keep praying.
December 27, 2016
Holiday in the Park at Six Flags, 2016
These two don't pose often for pictures, so I was happy when they willingly jumped up here to let me take pics. Too bad they're not the clearest, but I'll take what I can get.
(Enjoying their new dining passes on their Six Flags passes--now they get to eat lunch, dinner, and a snack every single time they visit and have unlimited drinks!)
December 26, 2016
Happy birthday, Mom!
Today's blog is reserved for one purpose--to wish my mom a happy birthday! Circumstances kept her from coming to visit at Thanksgiving for the last two years, bringing her at Christmas instead. So I've gotten to spend her last two birthdays with her. This year she came for Thanksgiving and isn't here for her birthday, but I'm still thinking about her and celebrating her today.
Mom, I know good health hasn't been your friend this year, and my prayer is that next year will bring you some relief, especially from headaches. I woke up with a headache today and really feel for people who suffer from those consistently.
I love how you and I have developed a closer and deeper relationship through the years by sharing books and devotionals that have spoken to us. I always appreciate your gifts because they express sentiment and thoughtfulness about who I am and how you see me. I still keep that calendar of poems from a Mother to a Daughter up in my prayer corner, even though the calendar is long expired, because I love the poems.
I thought long and hard about your birthday gift this year, and I finally chose what I thought would mean the most to you. It should be delivered to your door some time today.
Love you, Mom. Wish we could have lunch together today!
Mom, I know good health hasn't been your friend this year, and my prayer is that next year will bring you some relief, especially from headaches. I woke up with a headache today and really feel for people who suffer from those consistently.
I love how you and I have developed a closer and deeper relationship through the years by sharing books and devotionals that have spoken to us. I always appreciate your gifts because they express sentiment and thoughtfulness about who I am and how you see me. I still keep that calendar of poems from a Mother to a Daughter up in my prayer corner, even though the calendar is long expired, because I love the poems.
I thought long and hard about your birthday gift this year, and I finally chose what I thought would mean the most to you. It should be delivered to your door some time today.
Love you, Mom. Wish we could have lunch together today!
December 25, 2016
Christmas Eve and Christmas 2016
Family pic in front of the tree at church, compliments of my dear friend Aubree for taking the pic
David and Sam's first year with braces (Sam's first week!)
Juan and Uncle Matt at the end of the candlelight service
Mandatory selfie with Mom
December 24, 2016
Blessed beyond measure this Christmas
To the little girl I loved and lost right before Christmas, now seven years ago:
When the thought of adoption began to stir in our hearts, we both knew that we wanted to adopt a little girl. Not a baby or even a toddler. We felt convinced God had already chosen a little girl for us very close in age to our only son.
When I saw your picture for the first time, I couldn't take my eyes off of you. There amongst 13 other little pictures, yours stood out to me. A little girl so close in age to my son. When we saw you wanted to be adopted with your older brother, it didn't take us long to know we wanted both of you.
When I walked up to the lake and saw you standing there in the water with all the other kids, I knew immediately which one you were. I'd already prayed for you for several weeks. By the time I got to meet you, you already had my heart.
Pursuing your adoption filled me with incredible joy. I showed your picture to so many friends and family, proudly showing off my future son and daughter (though you already claimed that space and title in our hearts). I'll never forget that first phonecall I made to you or your sweet voice on the other end. I loved hearing your delight every time you heard my voice over the next year of phonecalls. I loved shopping for you, buying you cute little dresses, nightgowns, sweaters, and jeans. I had so much fun buying you dolls and toys, blankets, curtains, sunglasses, stuffed animals, and decorations for your room. I couldn't wait for you to come home.
I bought you both two beautiful blue stockings that summer, convinced you'd both be home for Christmas that year. I never imagined the emptiness those stockings would soon bring to our lives.
When I heard them say the adoption would not go through, it crushed me. I hurt more deeply than I've ever hurt in my entire life, and I grieved losing you for an entire year. I'll never forget that last phone call with you, and I'll never be able to express how much I missed hearing your voice. I thought about you all the time.
I wondered if God would ever cross our paths again, though I knew it was foolish to even think that when we lived on two different continents and had no reason to ever communicate again. They cut off all my contact with you, thinking it was the best for you to be able to bond to another family later.
My heart ached for you when I heard you and your brother would be split because another family took interest in him but didn't have enough time to devote to both of you. I couldn't even imagine your heartache. But I felt blessed when your oldest brother initiated contact with me and allowed you and I to still send sweet messages to one another through him. He knew I still loved you, and he knew you still loved me.
I felt so hopeful as my relationship with your oldest brother continued to grow and we made plans to meet him. I hoped our committed relationship with him might give us another chance to still adopt you. We prayed faithfully for you to have a mother of your own, but I sure did beg God to let that mother still be me.
My heart broke all over again when your new mommy did come to adopt you just four months before I made it to Colombia. I was elated for you, but I won't deny that I always wondered why God chose her to raise you instead of choosing me. I fought hard against the idea that I just wasn't good enough. I'll never forget that day when you skipped out of all of our lives, nor can I ever forget the deep sadness that your oldest brother shared with me that evening once you were gone. His heart shattered because he didn't even get to say goodbye.
For the last five and a half years, I've never stopped wondering about you, thinking about you, praying for you, and loving you. Right alongside both of your brothers, one of whom finally came home to me--without you.
Your pictures still sit on the shelf of his room, the room we'd originally prepared for you. Not a single year have we forgotten your birthday. We even celebrate your special day with a special cake in your honor. Especially now that your brother is here, we've done our best to keep your memory and spirit alive in his life. We never stopped hoping that someday we'd find you and know more about your new life. We couldn't adopt your oldest brother, but we still treat him as if he's part of the family. We still love him as if he were our son.
We all searched for you periodically on different social media venues with the only last name we'd been given, wondering if maybe your mom had changed your name and that's why we couldn't find you. Or perhaps she just kept you off of such things for your protection due to your young age. We even formally asked both Colombia and Kidsave to help us search for you, but after a year went by, we assumed the search proved fruitless. Your brothers never stopped hoping, though. You are a part of them that they will always hold very dear to their hearts.
Yet one day when we least expected it, your name (that last name we'd searched for so many times) popped up in my e-mail, attempting to reconnect with your brother. Soon after another e-mail arrived with your beautiful little picture, now current, staring back at me. Not much longer, a whole new world of communication opened up between you and both of your brothers (now on three different continents), a gift more wonderful than I could have asked for this Christmas.
I don't know if you realize it's me that your brother lives with. I don't know if you even remember me or the role I played in your life for nearly two years. I can't tell you what it's meant to me to see pictures of you in your new life, smiling with your new friends, visiting new places, or standing in front of the beach with your mom. The mom God chose for you instead of choosing me. The life He prepared for you instead of the life I'd prepared for you here. People used to tell me they should have let us adopt you, they never should have separated you from your brother. It was all a mistake, an injustice to all involved. I disagreed then, believing that you ended up exactly where God wanted you, as much as it hurt me. Now when I see you living your life with your new friends and family, I am reminded that those new relationships were always meant to be. Your friends needed you. Your mom needed you. You completed that family in a way that only you could do.
Your brother asked me the other day what I wanted for Christmas because I'm hard to shop for. I learned long ago that stuff doesn't make me happy, so I told him all I wanted was a clean house. :) But the truth is, finding you has brought me a closure that I have longed for over the last seven Christmases.
(I wrote this poem to your oldest brother in 2011, his first Christmas wthout you, ten months after you moved away, two years after I lost you myself. )
Knowing your brothers don't have to spend another Christmas without you in their lives is one of the best gifts I could have ever received. I am grateful beyond words.
This wasn't at all the way I pictured my life when we set out to adopt a little girl to complete our family, but now I can't help but feel so lucky, so privileged to have met you and to be part of this grand story that God is still writing with your lives.
Like I said in my first book dedication, you will always have my heart.
Te quiero mucho,
Tia Raquel (what you always used to call me over the phone)
When the thought of adoption began to stir in our hearts, we both knew that we wanted to adopt a little girl. Not a baby or even a toddler. We felt convinced God had already chosen a little girl for us very close in age to our only son.
When I saw your picture for the first time, I couldn't take my eyes off of you. There amongst 13 other little pictures, yours stood out to me. A little girl so close in age to my son. When we saw you wanted to be adopted with your older brother, it didn't take us long to know we wanted both of you.
When I walked up to the lake and saw you standing there in the water with all the other kids, I knew immediately which one you were. I'd already prayed for you for several weeks. By the time I got to meet you, you already had my heart.
Pursuing your adoption filled me with incredible joy. I showed your picture to so many friends and family, proudly showing off my future son and daughter (though you already claimed that space and title in our hearts). I'll never forget that first phonecall I made to you or your sweet voice on the other end. I loved hearing your delight every time you heard my voice over the next year of phonecalls. I loved shopping for you, buying you cute little dresses, nightgowns, sweaters, and jeans. I had so much fun buying you dolls and toys, blankets, curtains, sunglasses, stuffed animals, and decorations for your room. I couldn't wait for you to come home.
I bought you both two beautiful blue stockings that summer, convinced you'd both be home for Christmas that year. I never imagined the emptiness those stockings would soon bring to our lives.
When I heard them say the adoption would not go through, it crushed me. I hurt more deeply than I've ever hurt in my entire life, and I grieved losing you for an entire year. I'll never forget that last phone call with you, and I'll never be able to express how much I missed hearing your voice. I thought about you all the time.
I wondered if God would ever cross our paths again, though I knew it was foolish to even think that when we lived on two different continents and had no reason to ever communicate again. They cut off all my contact with you, thinking it was the best for you to be able to bond to another family later.
My heart ached for you when I heard you and your brother would be split because another family took interest in him but didn't have enough time to devote to both of you. I couldn't even imagine your heartache. But I felt blessed when your oldest brother initiated contact with me and allowed you and I to still send sweet messages to one another through him. He knew I still loved you, and he knew you still loved me.
I felt so hopeful as my relationship with your oldest brother continued to grow and we made plans to meet him. I hoped our committed relationship with him might give us another chance to still adopt you. We prayed faithfully for you to have a mother of your own, but I sure did beg God to let that mother still be me.
My heart broke all over again when your new mommy did come to adopt you just four months before I made it to Colombia. I was elated for you, but I won't deny that I always wondered why God chose her to raise you instead of choosing me. I fought hard against the idea that I just wasn't good enough. I'll never forget that day when you skipped out of all of our lives, nor can I ever forget the deep sadness that your oldest brother shared with me that evening once you were gone. His heart shattered because he didn't even get to say goodbye.
For the last five and a half years, I've never stopped wondering about you, thinking about you, praying for you, and loving you. Right alongside both of your brothers, one of whom finally came home to me--without you.
Your pictures still sit on the shelf of his room, the room we'd originally prepared for you. Not a single year have we forgotten your birthday. We even celebrate your special day with a special cake in your honor. Especially now that your brother is here, we've done our best to keep your memory and spirit alive in his life. We never stopped hoping that someday we'd find you and know more about your new life. We couldn't adopt your oldest brother, but we still treat him as if he's part of the family. We still love him as if he were our son.
We all searched for you periodically on different social media venues with the only last name we'd been given, wondering if maybe your mom had changed your name and that's why we couldn't find you. Or perhaps she just kept you off of such things for your protection due to your young age. We even formally asked both Colombia and Kidsave to help us search for you, but after a year went by, we assumed the search proved fruitless. Your brothers never stopped hoping, though. You are a part of them that they will always hold very dear to their hearts.
Yet one day when we least expected it, your name (that last name we'd searched for so many times) popped up in my e-mail, attempting to reconnect with your brother. Soon after another e-mail arrived with your beautiful little picture, now current, staring back at me. Not much longer, a whole new world of communication opened up between you and both of your brothers (now on three different continents), a gift more wonderful than I could have asked for this Christmas.
I don't know if you realize it's me that your brother lives with. I don't know if you even remember me or the role I played in your life for nearly two years. I can't tell you what it's meant to me to see pictures of you in your new life, smiling with your new friends, visiting new places, or standing in front of the beach with your mom. The mom God chose for you instead of choosing me. The life He prepared for you instead of the life I'd prepared for you here. People used to tell me they should have let us adopt you, they never should have separated you from your brother. It was all a mistake, an injustice to all involved. I disagreed then, believing that you ended up exactly where God wanted you, as much as it hurt me. Now when I see you living your life with your new friends and family, I am reminded that those new relationships were always meant to be. Your friends needed you. Your mom needed you. You completed that family in a way that only you could do.
Your brother asked me the other day what I wanted for Christmas because I'm hard to shop for. I learned long ago that stuff doesn't make me happy, so I told him all I wanted was a clean house. :) But the truth is, finding you has brought me a closure that I have longed for over the last seven Christmases.
(I wrote this poem to your oldest brother in 2011, his first Christmas wthout you, ten months after you moved away, two years after I lost you myself. )
Knowing your brothers don't have to spend another Christmas without you in their lives is one of the best gifts I could have ever received. I am grateful beyond words.
This wasn't at all the way I pictured my life when we set out to adopt a little girl to complete our family, but now I can't help but feel so lucky, so privileged to have met you and to be part of this grand story that God is still writing with your lives.
Like I said in my first book dedication, you will always have my heart.
Te quiero mucho,
Tia Raquel (what you always used to call me over the phone)
December 22, 2016
Reality check
Well, since I just wrote about how thankful I am for soccer, I think that leads right into this post about doing a current reality check. It also fits right in with decluttering, taking things out that I just don't have room for.
I read an article yesterday about a couple moving out of a 2100 square foot apartment into a 100 square foot bus that they've remodeled into a tiny home. Their goal is to get free from the burden of stuff in order to live an adventurous life. Though they're excited, the process of letting their stuff go was actually quite painful. The hardest things to let go are the sentimental ones.
So, here's my current reality for this upcoming semester. It is Juan's last semester of high school.Let me say that again because I don't think it's really sinking in yet, for him or for me. This is Juan's last semester of high school.
Breathe.
But, God? It feels like he just got here!
And this is what the calendar already looks like just for January with the non-negotiables. Nothing extra added. Soccer games at 4:30 and 7:30 every single Tuesday and Friday throughout the season (which goes till March). Tournaments in the beginning of January. Orthodontist appointments. School trainings.
With it being David's first season and Juan's last, I don't want to miss any of those games except for the ones that are a bit further away. (Thankfully my teacher badge gets me in for free!)
In order to do that, I need to prepare ahead. First, I bought extra underclothes to brave the cold. I'm going to have to pack my car with extra blankets, hats, gloves, and maybe hand-warmers. Second, I have to make sure I don't add any extra evening activities that will end up wearing me out. With games on Tuesdays and Fridays, I've got to leave Wednesday and Thursday nights free. Which takes out weekly women's Bible studies. :( Learning to say no to extra work things is easy for me--I just tell myself there will be other seasons of life when I can be more available. Learning to say no to ministries I am passionate about--that's hard.
But I know myself pretty well, and I will stretch myself way too thin and end up resenting all of it--the Bible studies, the soccer games, even my job. Then my students and my family will pay for it.
I feel like God is telling me to embrace more times of quiet and solitude over this coming semester, to find ways to minister to others in a way that also recharges my own batteries. I feel like He's telling me to back out of extra social activities (that drain me, anyway) so I don't miss the small opportunities that might pass right by me without my even noticing.
As I read through The Best Yes recently, I got two main points. Take out the clutter (say no to the things that either don't fit anymore or just get in the way of our purpose) and say yes to those few things that God is truly calling you to in this season.
For me, I know I need to say yes to being physically, mentally, and emotionally available to my son in his last semester of high school so I don't miss out on any last opportunities to make a difference in his life before he hopefully goes to college next Fall. I know I also need to say yes to embracing quieter moments in my life to recharge and keep myself healthy, to quieter ways to minister to others from the comfort of my own home. I need to say yes to finding and making time to write because writing is my outlet. When I write, I process my world. When I don't, I start to go crazy. I also need to say yes to time with my husband so we maintain a healthy relationship and stay on the same page regarding our sons. When we all start running in different directions, it's easy to lose any and all sense of communication, and then we're a mess.
I gleaned so much wisdom out of The Best Yes study, but this is the quote that resonated with me the most, one that I need to put up on my wall and remember on a daily basis. Maybe it will speak to you, as well.
I read an article yesterday about a couple moving out of a 2100 square foot apartment into a 100 square foot bus that they've remodeled into a tiny home. Their goal is to get free from the burden of stuff in order to live an adventurous life. Though they're excited, the process of letting their stuff go was actually quite painful. The hardest things to let go are the sentimental ones.
So, here's my current reality for this upcoming semester. It is Juan's last semester of high school.Let me say that again because I don't think it's really sinking in yet, for him or for me. This is Juan's last semester of high school.
Breathe.
But, God? It feels like he just got here!
And this is what the calendar already looks like just for January with the non-negotiables. Nothing extra added. Soccer games at 4:30 and 7:30 every single Tuesday and Friday throughout the season (which goes till March). Tournaments in the beginning of January. Orthodontist appointments. School trainings.
With it being David's first season and Juan's last, I don't want to miss any of those games except for the ones that are a bit further away. (Thankfully my teacher badge gets me in for free!)
In order to do that, I need to prepare ahead. First, I bought extra underclothes to brave the cold. I'm going to have to pack my car with extra blankets, hats, gloves, and maybe hand-warmers. Second, I have to make sure I don't add any extra evening activities that will end up wearing me out. With games on Tuesdays and Fridays, I've got to leave Wednesday and Thursday nights free. Which takes out weekly women's Bible studies. :( Learning to say no to extra work things is easy for me--I just tell myself there will be other seasons of life when I can be more available. Learning to say no to ministries I am passionate about--that's hard.
But I know myself pretty well, and I will stretch myself way too thin and end up resenting all of it--the Bible studies, the soccer games, even my job. Then my students and my family will pay for it.
I feel like God is telling me to embrace more times of quiet and solitude over this coming semester, to find ways to minister to others in a way that also recharges my own batteries. I feel like He's telling me to back out of extra social activities (that drain me, anyway) so I don't miss the small opportunities that might pass right by me without my even noticing.
As I read through The Best Yes recently, I got two main points. Take out the clutter (say no to the things that either don't fit anymore or just get in the way of our purpose) and say yes to those few things that God is truly calling you to in this season.
For me, I know I need to say yes to being physically, mentally, and emotionally available to my son in his last semester of high school so I don't miss out on any last opportunities to make a difference in his life before he hopefully goes to college next Fall. I know I also need to say yes to embracing quieter moments in my life to recharge and keep myself healthy, to quieter ways to minister to others from the comfort of my own home. I need to say yes to finding and making time to write because writing is my outlet. When I write, I process my world. When I don't, I start to go crazy. I also need to say yes to time with my husband so we maintain a healthy relationship and stay on the same page regarding our sons. When we all start running in different directions, it's easy to lose any and all sense of communication, and then we're a mess.
I gleaned so much wisdom out of The Best Yes study, but this is the quote that resonated with me the most, one that I need to put up on my wall and remember on a daily basis. Maybe it will speak to you, as well.
Raising teenage boys
Two teenage boys. It's not my favorite stage in life, but it's my reality. Funny thing is, I secretly wished as a young girl that I'd never have boys. Now I have two, and they're both teenagers.
One I raised from birth. The other joined our family just shortly before turning 16. I have to be fair in parenting, but I can't parent them the same. At all. They come from two very different backgrounds and cultures. It's complicated.
Raising these boys takes a village, and I'm so thankful for the village God has surrounded us with. Many solid, Christian teachers who have guided them and spoken life into them. A great youth/student program at church with lots of opportunities to serve and to grow spiritually. Soccer, soccer everywhere with coaches they can look up and work hard for.
Being a mom, I realize just how important it is for a teenage boy to have important men in their life. I am thankful for three very significant men in my boys' lives. Their Dad. Their Student Ministries Pastor. And their Soccer Coach.
Mike isn't the most talkative or sentimental guy. But the boys love him and respect him a great deal. David and his dad are like glue--they could spend all day together every day and never get tired of each other. Juan doesn't always connect with Mike emotionally, but he looks up to him for how much he knows about cars and how to fix them (especially that little Neon he's driving). He enjoys hanging out with him and just having fun. He doesn't have any of the same interests as Mike, but he has a heart of gold to try to connect with Mike while pursuing his own interests (using his artistic talent to create a memorable picture for Mike). I'm so thankful they both have a faithful Dad in their lives.
The second man I'm so thankful to God for putting in their lives is their Student Pastor at church. Actually, they've had another one (Shane) for the last three years who just got moved to the Rockwall campus. He's been incredibly influential in their lives, and because they go on Saturdays with the smaller crowd, they've been able to develop a closer relationship with him as their leader. But this guy in the picture (Mauricio) has been the assistant for the last two years and has gotten even closer into their lives than the other one, likely due to his age, personality, and less personal responsibility for the overall student ministries program. He's had more time to invest in them and just have fun with them. He even led their trip to California this summer and breathed so much into them both on a spiritual level. However, on the final night of the trip, he let the team know that he'd no longer be around as the assistant since he'd be looking into more opportunities to serve in a church at a higher level. Needless to say, David especially came home devastated to be losing such a significant person in his life. The good news now is that when the other Pastor got moved to the Rockwall campus just a week or so ago, the church hired Mauricio on as the full-time Student Pastor at our campus--so now he's back, and I have two very happy boys.
The third man I'm thankful to have in both of their lives is their soccer coach. Now, that "coach" often changes, but just the fact that they have one is significant. It's someone they can look up to and work hard for. It's someone else that can believe in them and critique them in ways that I can't. It's someone else that can keep an eye on their grades and keep them accountable. It's someone else who can push them and keep them active in ways that I can't. It's someone else who can teach them life values and teamwork.
Thankfully both boys made their high school soccer teams this year. Juan's coach is a humble, respectable guy who is very adamant about being respectful and not letting the boys use foul language or get into trouble. He encourages Juan, but keeps him humble, as well. I'm excited to see how he pushes him as a varsity player this year.
David made the freshman team at his new high school, and Mike and I are so thankful for his new coach. A solid Christian man who gave up a pretty big soccer career himself in order to pursue youth ministry for awhile. Now he's a Math teacher and a soccer coach, and he holds the boys to a very high standard in the school. It's a new level of soccer that David's not used to, but it's so good for him. We knew ahead of time that it's quite difficult to make the team at his particular high school just because of the kids that go there (many are involved in club soccer teams and have a lot more experience playing than he got on his recreational soccer team). We were so relieved when he made it through all the cuts during tryouts. I think the coach said they had about 119 kids try out, but they only kept 65.
Once the high school season is over, the recreational season will begin, and his Dad will continue being his coach for at least one more season. :)
It's going to make for a busy, busy spring (that will be on another post about looking carefully at my season of life), but I'm thankful for soccer's role in our village.
One I raised from birth. The other joined our family just shortly before turning 16. I have to be fair in parenting, but I can't parent them the same. At all. They come from two very different backgrounds and cultures. It's complicated.
Raising these boys takes a village, and I'm so thankful for the village God has surrounded us with. Many solid, Christian teachers who have guided them and spoken life into them. A great youth/student program at church with lots of opportunities to serve and to grow spiritually. Soccer, soccer everywhere with coaches they can look up and work hard for.
Being a mom, I realize just how important it is for a teenage boy to have important men in their life. I am thankful for three very significant men in my boys' lives. Their Dad. Their Student Ministries Pastor. And their Soccer Coach.
Mike isn't the most talkative or sentimental guy. But the boys love him and respect him a great deal. David and his dad are like glue--they could spend all day together every day and never get tired of each other. Juan doesn't always connect with Mike emotionally, but he looks up to him for how much he knows about cars and how to fix them (especially that little Neon he's driving). He enjoys hanging out with him and just having fun. He doesn't have any of the same interests as Mike, but he has a heart of gold to try to connect with Mike while pursuing his own interests (using his artistic talent to create a memorable picture for Mike). I'm so thankful they both have a faithful Dad in their lives.
The second man I'm so thankful to God for putting in their lives is their Student Pastor at church. Actually, they've had another one (Shane) for the last three years who just got moved to the Rockwall campus. He's been incredibly influential in their lives, and because they go on Saturdays with the smaller crowd, they've been able to develop a closer relationship with him as their leader. But this guy in the picture (Mauricio) has been the assistant for the last two years and has gotten even closer into their lives than the other one, likely due to his age, personality, and less personal responsibility for the overall student ministries program. He's had more time to invest in them and just have fun with them. He even led their trip to California this summer and breathed so much into them both on a spiritual level. However, on the final night of the trip, he let the team know that he'd no longer be around as the assistant since he'd be looking into more opportunities to serve in a church at a higher level. Needless to say, David especially came home devastated to be losing such a significant person in his life. The good news now is that when the other Pastor got moved to the Rockwall campus just a week or so ago, the church hired Mauricio on as the full-time Student Pastor at our campus--so now he's back, and I have two very happy boys.
The third man I'm thankful to have in both of their lives is their soccer coach. Now, that "coach" often changes, but just the fact that they have one is significant. It's someone they can look up to and work hard for. It's someone else that can believe in them and critique them in ways that I can't. It's someone else that can keep an eye on their grades and keep them accountable. It's someone else who can push them and keep them active in ways that I can't. It's someone else who can teach them life values and teamwork.
Thankfully both boys made their high school soccer teams this year. Juan's coach is a humble, respectable guy who is very adamant about being respectful and not letting the boys use foul language or get into trouble. He encourages Juan, but keeps him humble, as well. I'm excited to see how he pushes him as a varsity player this year.
David made the freshman team at his new high school, and Mike and I are so thankful for his new coach. A solid Christian man who gave up a pretty big soccer career himself in order to pursue youth ministry for awhile. Now he's a Math teacher and a soccer coach, and he holds the boys to a very high standard in the school. It's a new level of soccer that David's not used to, but it's so good for him. We knew ahead of time that it's quite difficult to make the team at his particular high school just because of the kids that go there (many are involved in club soccer teams and have a lot more experience playing than he got on his recreational soccer team). We were so relieved when he made it through all the cuts during tryouts. I think the coach said they had about 119 kids try out, but they only kept 65.
Once the high school season is over, the recreational season will begin, and his Dad will continue being his coach for at least one more season. :)
It's going to make for a busy, busy spring (that will be on another post about looking carefully at my season of life), but I'm thankful for soccer's role in our village.
December 21, 2016
Why doesn't Santa come to our house?
Santa doesn't visit our house. He never has. Not even when David was a little boy.
I didn't grow up believing in Santa, and David never believed in him, either.
I've gotten a lot of strange looks and comments over the years from well-meaning friends who just couldn't believe how I could deprive my sweet child of the magic of Santa.
Since I'm coming at this from the perspective of someone who never once believed in Santa even as a little girl, I realize that my thoughts on the matter may be a little biased (and naive?) due to my own childhood. I'm not writing this post to judge anyone or make myself seem more spiritual than anyone. I'm writing it to explain several reasons why we've never brought the idea of Santa into our house.
I want my son to understand GRATITUDE . Mike and I struggled through a LOT of financial issues in the first 5-10 years of our marriage. We kept Christmas and birthdays quite simple, mainly due to the fact that we didn't have any extra money to spare. If we'd taught David about Santa, would he have wondered why Santa brought other kids bigger and better toys than he brought for him? Would he have felt like Santa forgot about him and his list of wants? Would he have wondered if maybe he'd been more naughty than the other kids who got everything on their list when he only got one or two inexpensive things off of his? On the contrary, we taught him from the very beginning of his life that sometimes we have money to buy fun stuff, and other times we just don't. We taught him that Mommy and Daddy work hard and make sacrifices for every little thing we can buy him. We taught him about gratitude for the little things in life rather than constantly asking for bigger and better or for more. While other children showed off all their new toys, thinking Santa must have seen them being good, David knew that his gifts had nothing to do with being good or bad--they were given out of love. No matter who they're from, someone made a sacrifice and thought of him, and I expect him to show gratitude for each and every gift given to him.
Christmas is about LOVE and SACRIFICE. On a spiritual note, if Christmas is a reminder and celebration of Christ giving up Heaven in order to give us a gift we don't deserve and can never earn, then how have we turned that into telling our children that Santa (not Jesus) is always watching them to see if they've been bad or good? As if they might earn or rightfully deserve their gifts? The ultimate gift was given out of sacrifice by a God who loved us while we were still in our sin. And as we continue that giving spirit, why not teach our kids from the beginning that their gifts are given out of love and sacrifice, as well?
It's all about JESUS, nothing else . I struggle enough with the concept of Santa, but when Elf on the Shelf came out, it really bothered me on a deep level. Why? Because it actually works. Parents, grandparents, and even teachers use it quite often in the month leading up to Christmas to get kids to behave. I'll admit, it's cute, and it can be fun. But once again, if Christmas is a reminder of Christ coming to earth, why use this time of celebration to teach kids to behave for an elf when we could be teaching them early on about living lives of integrity because Jesus, not Santa, sees and hears everything we say and do. He delights in those who pursue righteousness. He hurts when we sin and break our fellowship with him. I don't want my child to simply behave better because there's an elf watching that's going to report his behavior back to Santa. I want my child to behave because he doesn't want to hurt Jesus. He wants Jesus to be happy with him, to delight in him. I want him to behave because he knows it's the right thing, not because it's tied to a present on his list. You won't find Santa at our house this Christmas, and that's just the way we want it. You'll find a few pine tree decorations that point upward, reminding us of our eternal home in Heaven. You'll find lights on those trees and around the house, reminding us that we are called to be a light in a dark world. You'll find gifts under the tree (for several weeks leading up to Christmas), reminding us of the best gift we could have ever received. I even have one special tree that I decorate solely with ornaments with many different names of Jesus found in Scripture, reminding me of all the ways He reveals Himself to me through His character. You'll find nativity scenes and even a cross, reminding us that Christ came as Immanuel, God with us, in order to give himself for us.
(By the way, when Juan came to us, he fit right in because Santa was never part of their Colombian celebrations, either.)
I have many, many Christian friends who teach their children the true meaning of Christmas while simultaneously adding in the fun and traditions of Santa. They wonder how I could let my child miss out on all that magic of Christmas. I wonder the opposite, though. Why not let my child understand the true magic and meaning of Christmas from the very beginning?
Like I said, this is not meant to pass judgement on anyone. It's just a simple explanation with a little food for thought.
I didn't grow up believing in Santa, and David never believed in him, either.
I've gotten a lot of strange looks and comments over the years from well-meaning friends who just couldn't believe how I could deprive my sweet child of the magic of Santa.
Since I'm coming at this from the perspective of someone who never once believed in Santa even as a little girl, I realize that my thoughts on the matter may be a little biased (and naive?) due to my own childhood. I'm not writing this post to judge anyone or make myself seem more spiritual than anyone. I'm writing it to explain several reasons why we've never brought the idea of Santa into our house.
I want my son to understand GRATITUDE . Mike and I struggled through a LOT of financial issues in the first 5-10 years of our marriage. We kept Christmas and birthdays quite simple, mainly due to the fact that we didn't have any extra money to spare. If we'd taught David about Santa, would he have wondered why Santa brought other kids bigger and better toys than he brought for him? Would he have felt like Santa forgot about him and his list of wants? Would he have wondered if maybe he'd been more naughty than the other kids who got everything on their list when he only got one or two inexpensive things off of his? On the contrary, we taught him from the very beginning of his life that sometimes we have money to buy fun stuff, and other times we just don't. We taught him that Mommy and Daddy work hard and make sacrifices for every little thing we can buy him. We taught him about gratitude for the little things in life rather than constantly asking for bigger and better or for more. While other children showed off all their new toys, thinking Santa must have seen them being good, David knew that his gifts had nothing to do with being good or bad--they were given out of love. No matter who they're from, someone made a sacrifice and thought of him, and I expect him to show gratitude for each and every gift given to him.
Christmas is about LOVE and SACRIFICE. On a spiritual note, if Christmas is a reminder and celebration of Christ giving up Heaven in order to give us a gift we don't deserve and can never earn, then how have we turned that into telling our children that Santa (not Jesus) is always watching them to see if they've been bad or good? As if they might earn or rightfully deserve their gifts? The ultimate gift was given out of sacrifice by a God who loved us while we were still in our sin. And as we continue that giving spirit, why not teach our kids from the beginning that their gifts are given out of love and sacrifice, as well?
It's all about JESUS, nothing else . I struggle enough with the concept of Santa, but when Elf on the Shelf came out, it really bothered me on a deep level. Why? Because it actually works. Parents, grandparents, and even teachers use it quite often in the month leading up to Christmas to get kids to behave. I'll admit, it's cute, and it can be fun. But once again, if Christmas is a reminder of Christ coming to earth, why use this time of celebration to teach kids to behave for an elf when we could be teaching them early on about living lives of integrity because Jesus, not Santa, sees and hears everything we say and do. He delights in those who pursue righteousness. He hurts when we sin and break our fellowship with him. I don't want my child to simply behave better because there's an elf watching that's going to report his behavior back to Santa. I want my child to behave because he doesn't want to hurt Jesus. He wants Jesus to be happy with him, to delight in him. I want him to behave because he knows it's the right thing, not because it's tied to a present on his list. You won't find Santa at our house this Christmas, and that's just the way we want it. You'll find a few pine tree decorations that point upward, reminding us of our eternal home in Heaven. You'll find lights on those trees and around the house, reminding us that we are called to be a light in a dark world. You'll find gifts under the tree (for several weeks leading up to Christmas), reminding us of the best gift we could have ever received. I even have one special tree that I decorate solely with ornaments with many different names of Jesus found in Scripture, reminding me of all the ways He reveals Himself to me through His character. You'll find nativity scenes and even a cross, reminding us that Christ came as Immanuel, God with us, in order to give himself for us.
(By the way, when Juan came to us, he fit right in because Santa was never part of their Colombian celebrations, either.)
I have many, many Christian friends who teach their children the true meaning of Christmas while simultaneously adding in the fun and traditions of Santa. They wonder how I could let my child miss out on all that magic of Christmas. I wonder the opposite, though. Why not let my child understand the true magic and meaning of Christmas from the very beginning?
Like I said, this is not meant to pass judgement on anyone. It's just a simple explanation with a little food for thought.
December 20, 2016
Clear some space
It all started with a blog entry due date.
My publisher, Authenticity Book House, maintains a blog on their website. They asked me if I had any interest in writing a blog entry about writing goals for the new year. I said sure, momentarily forgetting how much I have struggled to write much of anything for the last six months. I soon fretted over my quick response to write the entry, especially knowing I had no writing goals of my own for the coming year. How in the world could I write anything of significance to inspire others to write if I couldn't even inspire myself?
Uh-oh.
A week before the deadline, I finally pulled my laptop out and started pecking at the keys. A few words or sentences came out, only to find themselves deleted after I read them. It was more than obvious I hadn't written anything, or even attended my writer's group, in quite awhile. I finally got about 500 words, but they felt so uninspired. Empty, meaningless words on a page. Ugh.
The next night, I pulled the laptop out again to revise whatever I'd come up with the previous evening, hoping a little polishing might help. I panicked when I realized that I'd somehow shut my computer and gone to bed the night before without saving what I'd written! Great.
So, I started over. Yet this time God said, "Make it personal. What is it that keeps you from writing?"
"God, I feel scattered. My life lacks focus. All I do is run from here to there, and nothing seems to connect, I feel it physically, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. It's the same at work, at home, at church, and even when I'm doing something that's supposed to be fun. It all just wears me out, and I'm exhausted."
Then I heard Him gently whisper, "So clear the clutter."
It hit me. My life is full of clutter that needs constant reevaluation as to what needs to go and what needs to stay--and what needs to be added to give me more of a sense of fulfillment. I say I long for simplicity, but that simplicity actually translates to focus. I need to know where to focus. As long as the clutter is there, I can't do that.
The same applies to my writing. I suddenly felt inspired and started to write the blog entry, but with the TV on and someone watching a video on the laptop, the noise was too much. I went in my bedroom, shut the door, propped myself up with a few pillows on the bed, and finished the entry in silence.
I knew in that moment that the first thing I need is a quiet, uncluttered space. My back porch is great, but not when it's 30 degrees outside. A few days later, Mike and I did some Christmas shopping and came home with the materials needed to set me up.
Today I'm so thankful to be sitting in my new writing space, in a quiet corner of my bedroom, filled with all the things that inspire me. Pictures and momentos of places I've traveled, a few little flowers, a basket of books I'm currently reading, A picture of the covers of the books I've written, a poem, a journal, a notepad, pics of my boys. and a growing list of all the things I want to write about, especially over the break.
Check out the ABH blog for that post that I so struggled to write.
My publisher, Authenticity Book House, maintains a blog on their website. They asked me if I had any interest in writing a blog entry about writing goals for the new year. I said sure, momentarily forgetting how much I have struggled to write much of anything for the last six months. I soon fretted over my quick response to write the entry, especially knowing I had no writing goals of my own for the coming year. How in the world could I write anything of significance to inspire others to write if I couldn't even inspire myself?
Uh-oh.
A week before the deadline, I finally pulled my laptop out and started pecking at the keys. A few words or sentences came out, only to find themselves deleted after I read them. It was more than obvious I hadn't written anything, or even attended my writer's group, in quite awhile. I finally got about 500 words, but they felt so uninspired. Empty, meaningless words on a page. Ugh.
The next night, I pulled the laptop out again to revise whatever I'd come up with the previous evening, hoping a little polishing might help. I panicked when I realized that I'd somehow shut my computer and gone to bed the night before without saving what I'd written! Great.
So, I started over. Yet this time God said, "Make it personal. What is it that keeps you from writing?"
"God, I feel scattered. My life lacks focus. All I do is run from here to there, and nothing seems to connect, I feel it physically, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. It's the same at work, at home, at church, and even when I'm doing something that's supposed to be fun. It all just wears me out, and I'm exhausted."
Then I heard Him gently whisper, "So clear the clutter."
It hit me. My life is full of clutter that needs constant reevaluation as to what needs to go and what needs to stay--and what needs to be added to give me more of a sense of fulfillment. I say I long for simplicity, but that simplicity actually translates to focus. I need to know where to focus. As long as the clutter is there, I can't do that.
The same applies to my writing. I suddenly felt inspired and started to write the blog entry, but with the TV on and someone watching a video on the laptop, the noise was too much. I went in my bedroom, shut the door, propped myself up with a few pillows on the bed, and finished the entry in silence.
I knew in that moment that the first thing I need is a quiet, uncluttered space. My back porch is great, but not when it's 30 degrees outside. A few days later, Mike and I did some Christmas shopping and came home with the materials needed to set me up.
Today I'm so thankful to be sitting in my new writing space, in a quiet corner of my bedroom, filled with all the things that inspire me. Pictures and momentos of places I've traveled, a few little flowers, a basket of books I'm currently reading, A picture of the covers of the books I've written, a poem, a journal, a notepad, pics of my boys. and a growing list of all the things I want to write about, especially over the break.
Check out the ABH blog for that post that I so struggled to write.
December 11, 2016
Decluttering
Surprise! It's me!
