Rachelle D. Alspaugh's Blog, page 42
August 16, 2016
Another summer gone
It's that time again. Another summer passed before my eyes. Staff development started back up at school last week, my kiddos come visit the school tomorrow evening to see who their teacher is and to drop off supplies, and then Monday morning we start the cycle all over again.
I will very readily admit that the first month or two of school in Pre-K is a bear. Tearing these kids away from their teary mama's while they themselves are kicking and screaming--nope, not a pretty picture. Teaching them when and how to use a restroom, how and why we wipe our noses, and what in the world it means to walk in a line--ugh. No easy tasks here. Plus getting them to understand why they are in this strange building with two ladies making them sing silly songs and do silly things is a joke in and of itself at least for the first two weeks.
I don't look foward to these next few weeks. Structuring a child who has never experienced structure is a LOT of work.
But then I look around my classroom and remember last year's children sitting at the tables painting beautiful pictures, writing their full names as neatly as they could, reciting their letters and sounds with such pride and enthusiasm, building towers as high as they could reach, receiving awards for good character and exemplary effort, etc., etc.
If I learned anything by teaching Pre-K the last three years, it's this: Structure is key to learning. Without it, chaos takes over. With it, kids can thrive and exceed all expectations. A constant routine helps them feel safe and gives them the freedom to challenge themselves.
This year we're moving our kids from a bilingual education mindset to a dual language program. We're taking them from being seen as the "at risk" group due to a language deficit to looking at them as a gifted group of students ready to embrace their bilingualism and all the opportunities that creates for them. It's a huge shift in thinking and a lot of work in the process, but I believe it can benefit these kids greatly and open up a whole new world to them.
So, here's to the next few crazy weeks of getting some structure into these kids' worlds, and then we're off to a year filled with incredible potential.
Let's do this!
I will very readily admit that the first month or two of school in Pre-K is a bear. Tearing these kids away from their teary mama's while they themselves are kicking and screaming--nope, not a pretty picture. Teaching them when and how to use a restroom, how and why we wipe our noses, and what in the world it means to walk in a line--ugh. No easy tasks here. Plus getting them to understand why they are in this strange building with two ladies making them sing silly songs and do silly things is a joke in and of itself at least for the first two weeks.
I don't look foward to these next few weeks. Structuring a child who has never experienced structure is a LOT of work.
But then I look around my classroom and remember last year's children sitting at the tables painting beautiful pictures, writing their full names as neatly as they could, reciting their letters and sounds with such pride and enthusiasm, building towers as high as they could reach, receiving awards for good character and exemplary effort, etc., etc.
If I learned anything by teaching Pre-K the last three years, it's this: Structure is key to learning. Without it, chaos takes over. With it, kids can thrive and exceed all expectations. A constant routine helps them feel safe and gives them the freedom to challenge themselves.
This year we're moving our kids from a bilingual education mindset to a dual language program. We're taking them from being seen as the "at risk" group due to a language deficit to looking at them as a gifted group of students ready to embrace their bilingualism and all the opportunities that creates for them. It's a huge shift in thinking and a lot of work in the process, but I believe it can benefit these kids greatly and open up a whole new world to them.
So, here's to the next few crazy weeks of getting some structure into these kids' worlds, and then we're off to a year filled with incredible potential.
Let's do this!
August 10, 2016
Wednesday Review
Today's review of
Painful Waiting
comes from an anonymous Amazon customer (though I know who she is :)), who gave the book five stars.
This is a powerful story of faith,trust in God, and acceptance of God's will. I traveled this painful walk with Rachelle in the form of affirming her actions and praying for she and Mike all the way through the process. This book best describes their walk through the valley of adversity only to come through it with a poignant story of how we must let go and let God shoulder the burdens we face.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and opinion of the book. I will never forget the role you played in our lives through those years.
This is a powerful story of faith,trust in God, and acceptance of God's will. I traveled this painful walk with Rachelle in the form of affirming her actions and praying for she and Mike all the way through the process. This book best describes their walk through the valley of adversity only to come through it with a poignant story of how we must let go and let God shoulder the burdens we face.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and opinion of the book. I will never forget the role you played in our lives through those years.
August 5, 2016
Adoption and Foster Care Support Group
Gotta give out shout out to my church for offering yet another really great resource. I finally had a Wednesday night free to attend the monthly Adoption and Foster Care Support Group at the Rockwall campus. I recommend it to anyone from my campus who asks about the ministry, but now I know more of what to tell them.
Just a bunch of adoptive/pre-adoptive/foster/foster-to-adopt parents sharing their own experiences, asking questions, offering advice, comparing agencies, discussing fears, admitting mistakes, offering support, giving guidance, etc., etc. Loved it. We're thinking of starting one similar at our own campus if we can find the right leadership or offers to help facilitate. I would love to be part of it and step up as a leader, but I'm really listening to God to find a bit more margin in life during this next school year. I'd love to join others as a facilitator, though. We'll see what God has in mind. I am excited to see the need arise at my campus because it shows that more families are stepping up to care for the fatherless children.
If you're a local and live in the Rockwall/Royce City/Rowlett/Garland area, try to leave your schedule open on the first Wednesday of each month. It meets at Lake Pointe Church in Rockwall, TX in room W214 (the same room where my writer's group meets on the second Monday of every month).
Just a bunch of adoptive/pre-adoptive/foster/foster-to-adopt parents sharing their own experiences, asking questions, offering advice, comparing agencies, discussing fears, admitting mistakes, offering support, giving guidance, etc., etc. Loved it. We're thinking of starting one similar at our own campus if we can find the right leadership or offers to help facilitate. I would love to be part of it and step up as a leader, but I'm really listening to God to find a bit more margin in life during this next school year. I'd love to join others as a facilitator, though. We'll see what God has in mind. I am excited to see the need arise at my campus because it shows that more families are stepping up to care for the fatherless children.
If you're a local and live in the Rockwall/Royce City/Rowlett/Garland area, try to leave your schedule open on the first Wednesday of each month. It meets at Lake Pointe Church in Rockwall, TX in room W214 (the same room where my writer's group meets on the second Monday of every month).
August 3, 2016
Wednesday Review
Since I don't seem to be writing much these days, I'm going to start publishing some reviews of my books here specifically on Wednesdays. I hope they will wet your appetite to read them, reread them, add your own review, or tell a friend about them. I will alternate the reviews each week between each book so you don't get bored. I just want you to know that each review means so much to me, and I highly appreciate anyone who took the time to write one.
Today we're going to start with a review for Unexpected Tears, by Michael Mugo. He gave the book 5 stars.
This book reads like a novel, and I found myself swept up in the saga. The author tells a dramatic, emotional story. International adoption isn't for sissies, and Unexpected Tears provides a glimpse of the hurdles and challenges adoptive parents face. I recommend this book for anyone preparing for international adoption or anyone who want to be wrapped up in a good story. The author also sheds light on how this hard situation affected her faith, and I can definitely relate to how crisis catapults faith. A good read. Buy it.
Thank you, Michael. I appreciate your kind words, and I love knowing what you thought.
Today we're going to start with a review for Unexpected Tears, by Michael Mugo. He gave the book 5 stars.
This book reads like a novel, and I found myself swept up in the saga. The author tells a dramatic, emotional story. International adoption isn't for sissies, and Unexpected Tears provides a glimpse of the hurdles and challenges adoptive parents face. I recommend this book for anyone preparing for international adoption or anyone who want to be wrapped up in a good story. The author also sheds light on how this hard situation affected her faith, and I can definitely relate to how crisis catapults faith. A good read. Buy it.
Thank you, Michael. I appreciate your kind words, and I love knowing what you thought.
July 29, 2016
A different kind of summer
Just me, myself, and I today.
One more day till my boys come back from California.
One more night out with my best friend (my husband).
One more week till I am officially back to work after an interesting summer.
Nothing like a rainy day to sit back and reflect over what we've done as our fourth summer together as a family, our third full summer at home.
This summer felt very different to me. I'm a goal setter. I thrive when I feel like I've accomplished something. Most summers we have a focus and a goal to work toward achieving, either individually or as a family. Like rest, health, on-line classes, home improvement, reorganization, fun activities, etc. This year I didn't write down a single goal.
Most summers I send my boys off to their separate camps during different weeks of the summer and focus on a one-on-one relationship with the one who stays home that week. This year we hung out together and no one went their separate way. It's been about family and togetherness. The boys went to California this week, but they went together. They flew on the same airplane. They rode in the same van, worked in the same group, stayed in the same hotel room, and did pretty much all the same stuff. (BTW, after all their hard work, today they're out touring Warner Brothers Entertainment. Must say I'm a bit jealous now.)
Looking back, I'll have to say that as hard as it is for me to let go of the plans and goals, it makes me feel more grateful for each accomplishment. Less expectation and more fulfillment, I guess you could say. Did I get a lot of writing done? No. Did I make a lot of headway on this whole marketing my books experience? No. Did we do a lot of fun preplanned activities? No. Did I stick to a strict exercise routine to get healthier? No. Did I even ride my bike once? No. Did I get caught up on all the dental work and necessary appointments? No. Did I delete all my e-mails and clean up my inbox? Of course not.
But we did go on a pretty last minute vacation up through Indiana and St. Louis, saw a whole bunch of family, sold a few books and got some free advertising in through a great local newspaper, and we did other random fun things along the way. We spent several days at Six Flags with great friends, rode a whole bunch of roller coasters, and got some silly pictures of ourselves on those said rollercoasters. We now have a nice smoker grill out back to enjoy a lot of good meat for years to come, and we finally landscaped the small section of the backyard that's looked so ugly for so long. Mike replaced Juan's flooring in his bedroom and is down to just one more room in the house to finish. Juan got a part-time job, did some conditioning with his soccer coach, and is in the process of repainting his car (my old Neon) so that he can drive to school this year with his head held high. :) I taught a Bible study to two separate groups of women and saw connections made within those groups that I thank God for letting me be a part of, plus I watched women fall in love with studying Scripture, specifically the names of God. I finally got my author e-mail list set up through Mail Chimp and attached a nice, free resource to it for anyone who signs up (thanks to some amazing coaching from my writing hero, Mary DeMuth, and I slowly, but surely, started tackling a long list of marketing suggestions to spread the word on my books. I drank way too much coffee (on my second cup for the day as we speak), and we ate way too much ice cream. But we had a lot of fun, and I feel very relaxed going back to work in a week. Whatever didn't get done in the summer will get done eventually.
My husband hates lists and calendars, and he hates it even more when I give him a list of stuff to do. Since I didn't give him any lists this summer, I appreciate his hard work for what he did do for us because it wasn't expected. I can't live very carefree during the school year, but it was nice while it lasted. I think I appreciate life a bit more when I'm not setting such high expectations--kind-of like that very first trip to Colombia. (Fourteen days in a foreign country where we knew no one and didn't have a single thing planned. Fourteen of my favorite days ever. Don't know what I'm talking about? Read all about it in my first book, Unexpected Tears .)
One more week. Wonder what we'll do. :)
One more day till my boys come back from California.
One more night out with my best friend (my husband).
One more week till I am officially back to work after an interesting summer.
Nothing like a rainy day to sit back and reflect over what we've done as our fourth summer together as a family, our third full summer at home.
This summer felt very different to me. I'm a goal setter. I thrive when I feel like I've accomplished something. Most summers we have a focus and a goal to work toward achieving, either individually or as a family. Like rest, health, on-line classes, home improvement, reorganization, fun activities, etc. This year I didn't write down a single goal.
Most summers I send my boys off to their separate camps during different weeks of the summer and focus on a one-on-one relationship with the one who stays home that week. This year we hung out together and no one went their separate way. It's been about family and togetherness. The boys went to California this week, but they went together. They flew on the same airplane. They rode in the same van, worked in the same group, stayed in the same hotel room, and did pretty much all the same stuff. (BTW, after all their hard work, today they're out touring Warner Brothers Entertainment. Must say I'm a bit jealous now.)
Looking back, I'll have to say that as hard as it is for me to let go of the plans and goals, it makes me feel more grateful for each accomplishment. Less expectation and more fulfillment, I guess you could say. Did I get a lot of writing done? No. Did I make a lot of headway on this whole marketing my books experience? No. Did we do a lot of fun preplanned activities? No. Did I stick to a strict exercise routine to get healthier? No. Did I even ride my bike once? No. Did I get caught up on all the dental work and necessary appointments? No. Did I delete all my e-mails and clean up my inbox? Of course not.
But we did go on a pretty last minute vacation up through Indiana and St. Louis, saw a whole bunch of family, sold a few books and got some free advertising in through a great local newspaper, and we did other random fun things along the way. We spent several days at Six Flags with great friends, rode a whole bunch of roller coasters, and got some silly pictures of ourselves on those said rollercoasters. We now have a nice smoker grill out back to enjoy a lot of good meat for years to come, and we finally landscaped the small section of the backyard that's looked so ugly for so long. Mike replaced Juan's flooring in his bedroom and is down to just one more room in the house to finish. Juan got a part-time job, did some conditioning with his soccer coach, and is in the process of repainting his car (my old Neon) so that he can drive to school this year with his head held high. :) I taught a Bible study to two separate groups of women and saw connections made within those groups that I thank God for letting me be a part of, plus I watched women fall in love with studying Scripture, specifically the names of God. I finally got my author e-mail list set up through Mail Chimp and attached a nice, free resource to it for anyone who signs up (thanks to some amazing coaching from my writing hero, Mary DeMuth, and I slowly, but surely, started tackling a long list of marketing suggestions to spread the word on my books. I drank way too much coffee (on my second cup for the day as we speak), and we ate way too much ice cream. But we had a lot of fun, and I feel very relaxed going back to work in a week. Whatever didn't get done in the summer will get done eventually.
My husband hates lists and calendars, and he hates it even more when I give him a list of stuff to do. Since I didn't give him any lists this summer, I appreciate his hard work for what he did do for us because it wasn't expected. I can't live very carefree during the school year, but it was nice while it lasted. I think I appreciate life a bit more when I'm not setting such high expectations--kind-of like that very first trip to Colombia. (Fourteen days in a foreign country where we knew no one and didn't have a single thing planned. Fourteen of my favorite days ever. Don't know what I'm talking about? Read all about it in my first book, Unexpected Tears .)
One more week. Wonder what we'll do. :)
July 27, 2016
In the mail!
Thanks to the nearly 300 people who entered the July Giveaway through Goodreads. The winners were selected and sent to me yesterday, and I mailed the books out today.
July 24, 2016
Los Angeles Mission Trip
Yesterday, we dropped the boys off at the airport to board an airplane to Los Angeles, California, specifically the Burbank area.
They gave up their yearly camp experience in exchange for this opportunity to not only visit California, but to work alongside Story City Church. They also worked hard for many months doing yard work for several church members, helping a family move, etc., to earn the money for this trip.
This morning their team is helping the church set up and tear down for services, and then throughout the week they will be helping to advertise the church to the surrounding community and will be doing several community service projects. Their main goal--to let people in the area know that Story City Church (http://www.storycitychurch.com) is there. Also, to share their own "story" of how they met Christ.
Here are pics from the airport and a picture. Please pray for their safety while traveling and for God to do amazing things in and through them. I am so thankful for their youth leaders involvement in both of my boys' lives. Their impact on them is amazing.
All eyes on their fearless leader, Mauricio (so thankful for his impact on my boys!)
Getting ready to check in their bags for the flight
The mandatory selfie with Mom
Team Pic
Setting up for church bright and early on Sunday morning
View from the hotel room, I am assuming. :) (Stole it from Instagram)
It's gonna be a quiet week around here, but I love knowing how God is occupying their time. At least I've got plenty to keep me busy around here so I don't miss them too much.
More than anything, I'm thankful they get to do this together. May it be an experience that bonds them in a completely new way as the brothers God has made them. (One more day to enter the July giveaway at the top of this blog for your own copy of Painful Waiting, the story that made my sons brothers).
Thanks for your prayers.
They gave up their yearly camp experience in exchange for this opportunity to not only visit California, but to work alongside Story City Church. They also worked hard for many months doing yard work for several church members, helping a family move, etc., to earn the money for this trip.
This morning their team is helping the church set up and tear down for services, and then throughout the week they will be helping to advertise the church to the surrounding community and will be doing several community service projects. Their main goal--to let people in the area know that Story City Church (http://www.storycitychurch.com) is there. Also, to share their own "story" of how they met Christ.
Here are pics from the airport and a picture. Please pray for their safety while traveling and for God to do amazing things in and through them. I am so thankful for their youth leaders involvement in both of my boys' lives. Their impact on them is amazing.
All eyes on their fearless leader, Mauricio (so thankful for his impact on my boys!)
Getting ready to check in their bags for the flight
The mandatory selfie with Mom
Team Pic
Setting up for church bright and early on Sunday morning
View from the hotel room, I am assuming. :) (Stole it from Instagram)
It's gonna be a quiet week around here, but I love knowing how God is occupying their time. At least I've got plenty to keep me busy around here so I don't miss them too much.
More than anything, I'm thankful they get to do this together. May it be an experience that bonds them in a completely new way as the brothers God has made them. (One more day to enter the July giveaway at the top of this blog for your own copy of Painful Waiting, the story that made my sons brothers).
Thanks for your prayers.
July 19, 2016
Let's talk about adopting an older child
So, yeah, we did it. We adopted our son just a few months shy of his 16th birthday.
Everything about that statement shouts red flags, proceed with caution, high-risk situation.
Everything about that reality brought challenge.
Everything about it warms my heart and reminds me that with God's strength, we can do anything.
But let's face it, it's been hard on so many levels.
I recently took a poll among a variety of adoption groups to see what one thing parents wish they'd known before beginning their adoption journey. (Join my e-mail list on the left to get the full list!) I got a lot of answers about what they wish they'd known to do differently during the process, during the travel (when international), and about how to prepare for the new realities of life--both good and bad. I am grateful for the raw honesty from those that adopted older children. We can't romanticize it because, quite frankly, it's just not the way it's supposed to be. Children in their late teens should be spreading their wings toward independence, but instead, they are having to learn for the first time what the concept of family really means and why they need to learn dependence first. When most teens their age are having to learn the realities of consequences that follow inappropriate actions, these teens just need the security of love and acceptance, of connection, no matter what. I'm glad these parents shared their biggest struggles with me to add to the list because it helps someone else go into it a little more prepared for the challenges ahead.
As I finalized my list and got ready to publish it in the resource guide below, I received one final response that spoke volumes of truth and really hit home with me.
(Join my e-mail list for your own free guide: http://eepurl.com/b7-Js5)
#25--I wish I’d known how little time I’d actually have to bond with an older child, due to missing out on those critical childhood years before school.
My son is now 18 1/2 years old, ready to embark on his senior year of high school. Part of me wishes I could give him the world, shelter him a little longer, protect him from all that life might throw at him. I wish I had more time to fill in all those gaps of the childhood he didn't get to experience like most children. Instead, as I acknowledged that yesterday marked only the third anniversary since he arrived into our home, I watched him drive on his own for the first time. I nagged him about checking his work schedule at his new job. I griped at him about spending his money frivolously because he will soon have to budget his money for gas, car expenses, his portion of an insurance premium, etc.
I spent the first three years of life with David feeding him, changing him, taking him for long walks, and cuddling next to him to read books.
I spent the first three years of life with Juan defining family roles, battling his desire for freedom and privilege against our own belief that we needed time to solidify as a family first. We battled his natural desire for independence against his unwelcome need to learn dependence on a parent in order to truly feel secure in our home. I stayed in constant contact with his teachers and counselors, making sure he stayed on the right path and took the right courses toward graduation. We exhausted ourselves by keeping up with forever-changing soccer schedules, school activities, and youth functions at church. I hounded him to make a study plan in order to complete a few extra online courses to catch him up at school. My heart was torn when I watched his growing level of disappointment in our financial decisions and our frugal way of living, "depriving" him of all that stuff he thought he'd get once adopted into a family.
He had high hopes and big dreams, and our lifestyle and standard of living didn't meet up to those hopes and dreams. The first year held constant battle and strife at every turn. Our worlds, including our expectations of each other, clashed with our new reality. Once the first year turned into the second, we finally started to attach to one another and gel as a family unit. We all knew our roles and settled into them. We found new adventures to embark upon together, and we began to enjoy one another in a new way. Our home language finally switched back to English, with an occasional conversation in Spanish from time to time.
Yet by the third year, we plowed through driver's ed., helped him get his license, prepared him for the responsibilities of working and managing money, supported him through an exciting soccer season in high school, guided him to keep a close eye on his grades in order to raise his GPA, watched him excel in his classes and pass his state exams, and literally heard him grieve over the reality of growing up.
I fed him and clothed him (provided his clothes and shoes), but we never took those long walks together nor did we ever have that chance to cuddle up together and read books like I did with David those first three years. I still see so many gaps. and a world of difference exists in my relationship with my two boys strictly because of the time I had to grow and attach with David as a child that I did not have with Juan. I can't change that. I wish we could spend time playing games, riding bikes, going for walks, reading books, and just having fun rather than prepare for adulthood by entering the workforce, budgeting, driving, passing tests, and thinking about financial aid and college options. It all seems too soon for it only being our fourth year together. But I can make sure that I use every opportunity I have over the next year to model, model, model, and hope he's watching intently.
When I get to feeling like I was robbed of precious time with him, I remember his older brother at the same age. Just two months shy of 19, he exited the system and walked out into reality--all alone. No job. No money. No furniture. No home. No family. I'm grateful to have the chance to walk Juan into adulthood, teaching him and preparing him in ways I couldn't do for his brother.
It's a challenge, and it's hard. But so worth it.
Everything about that statement shouts red flags, proceed with caution, high-risk situation.
Everything about that reality brought challenge.
Everything about it warms my heart and reminds me that with God's strength, we can do anything.
But let's face it, it's been hard on so many levels.
I recently took a poll among a variety of adoption groups to see what one thing parents wish they'd known before beginning their adoption journey. (Join my e-mail list on the left to get the full list!) I got a lot of answers about what they wish they'd known to do differently during the process, during the travel (when international), and about how to prepare for the new realities of life--both good and bad. I am grateful for the raw honesty from those that adopted older children. We can't romanticize it because, quite frankly, it's just not the way it's supposed to be. Children in their late teens should be spreading their wings toward independence, but instead, they are having to learn for the first time what the concept of family really means and why they need to learn dependence first. When most teens their age are having to learn the realities of consequences that follow inappropriate actions, these teens just need the security of love and acceptance, of connection, no matter what. I'm glad these parents shared their biggest struggles with me to add to the list because it helps someone else go into it a little more prepared for the challenges ahead.
As I finalized my list and got ready to publish it in the resource guide below, I received one final response that spoke volumes of truth and really hit home with me.
(Join my e-mail list for your own free guide: http://eepurl.com/b7-Js5)#25--I wish I’d known how little time I’d actually have to bond with an older child, due to missing out on those critical childhood years before school.
My son is now 18 1/2 years old, ready to embark on his senior year of high school. Part of me wishes I could give him the world, shelter him a little longer, protect him from all that life might throw at him. I wish I had more time to fill in all those gaps of the childhood he didn't get to experience like most children. Instead, as I acknowledged that yesterday marked only the third anniversary since he arrived into our home, I watched him drive on his own for the first time. I nagged him about checking his work schedule at his new job. I griped at him about spending his money frivolously because he will soon have to budget his money for gas, car expenses, his portion of an insurance premium, etc.
I spent the first three years of life with David feeding him, changing him, taking him for long walks, and cuddling next to him to read books.
I spent the first three years of life with Juan defining family roles, battling his desire for freedom and privilege against our own belief that we needed time to solidify as a family first. We battled his natural desire for independence against his unwelcome need to learn dependence on a parent in order to truly feel secure in our home. I stayed in constant contact with his teachers and counselors, making sure he stayed on the right path and took the right courses toward graduation. We exhausted ourselves by keeping up with forever-changing soccer schedules, school activities, and youth functions at church. I hounded him to make a study plan in order to complete a few extra online courses to catch him up at school. My heart was torn when I watched his growing level of disappointment in our financial decisions and our frugal way of living, "depriving" him of all that stuff he thought he'd get once adopted into a family.
He had high hopes and big dreams, and our lifestyle and standard of living didn't meet up to those hopes and dreams. The first year held constant battle and strife at every turn. Our worlds, including our expectations of each other, clashed with our new reality. Once the first year turned into the second, we finally started to attach to one another and gel as a family unit. We all knew our roles and settled into them. We found new adventures to embark upon together, and we began to enjoy one another in a new way. Our home language finally switched back to English, with an occasional conversation in Spanish from time to time.
Yet by the third year, we plowed through driver's ed., helped him get his license, prepared him for the responsibilities of working and managing money, supported him through an exciting soccer season in high school, guided him to keep a close eye on his grades in order to raise his GPA, watched him excel in his classes and pass his state exams, and literally heard him grieve over the reality of growing up.
I fed him and clothed him (provided his clothes and shoes), but we never took those long walks together nor did we ever have that chance to cuddle up together and read books like I did with David those first three years. I still see so many gaps. and a world of difference exists in my relationship with my two boys strictly because of the time I had to grow and attach with David as a child that I did not have with Juan. I can't change that. I wish we could spend time playing games, riding bikes, going for walks, reading books, and just having fun rather than prepare for adulthood by entering the workforce, budgeting, driving, passing tests, and thinking about financial aid and college options. It all seems too soon for it only being our fourth year together. But I can make sure that I use every opportunity I have over the next year to model, model, model, and hope he's watching intently.
When I get to feeling like I was robbed of precious time with him, I remember his older brother at the same age. Just two months shy of 19, he exited the system and walked out into reality--all alone. No job. No money. No furniture. No home. No family. I'm grateful to have the chance to walk Juan into adulthood, teaching him and preparing him in ways I couldn't do for his brother.
It's a challenge, and it's hard. But so worth it.
July 15, 2016
A little blog remodeling
I'm so glad you stopped by my blog today. I've definitely slacked off on writing much this summer--on my blog and just in general. Not sure what's up, other than a sense that God is leading me to redirect and refocus before I start writing again.
As you can see, I made a few changes on this blog. If you look toward the top, you'll see a link for a free giveaway through Goodreads. If you haven't clicked it yet, go ahead and do it so you can get your name entered for a chance to win a free copy of Painful Waiting. The contest will end before the month is over, and there will be three winners.
If you look to the left, there are two pictures you can click on for a free resource. Not only will you get the free guide with practical ways to grow in your faith (top one) or with lists of helpful insights to help a pre-adoptive family (bottom one), but you'll also get my newsletter every 6-8 weeks with helpful tips, stories, articles, etc. addressing the same topics. It's a great way for me to stay in touch with you and to build community among others who share the same interest. If one of those areas appeals to you, click on the picture right now to sign up! Let me know what you think of the free guide that arrives in your inbox after you sign up.
If you scroll down close to the bottom of the blog and look to the left, you'll see a list of devotionals and Bible studies pictured. These are all some of the studies that I've led at my church or that have helped me personally grow in my faith. In fact, I'm currently leading the top one, I Know His Name, by Wendy Blight at my church, and I'm so thankful for the way our group of women is growing both spiritually and in fellowship with one another. I am a very firm believer in the power of a community of women who study the Word together. If you see a study or book that you think you can benefit from, just click on it to order it straight from Amazon. I will be periodically adding links to more as I continue to attend, teach, or read others in the future.
Also on the left-hand side, you'll find links to a Community Moms blog, other faith-inspiring stories, plus my Pinterest boards. Feel free to look around and click here and there to see what other links I might have added. I tried to make it as user-friendly as possible, even though I'm still trying to figure it all out myself. I hope it's not too "busy", though.
So, now that I've had some time to refocus, I think most of my writing now will focus on the areas of adoption (pre, post, and personal experience as an adoptive family) and Bible study/spiritual growth. I will likely write less frequently in order to soak up as much time as possible with my growing boys now that they are both in high school. I can hardly believe college is literally right around the corner for Juan David!
June 26, 2016
Another priceless "family" memory
Gotta brag on my adopted son here.
We told him the newcomer school his first year was a dream school. He got to be with the same group of friends all day long every day. The majority of them spoke Spanish, so they became pretty tight-knit early on in the year. He never came home with homework, and all he did was complain that he wasn't able to spend more time out with his friends. We told him when he went to a regular high school the following year, it would be quite a bit different.
"You'll have homework. You'll have STAAR (state required) tests that you likely will need more than one opportunity to pass. You'll change classes and classmates more, so you won't have that close group of friends to hang out with all day. It will be 100% English, so you'll be challenged on a much harder level." He only earned half credit for his year at the newcomer school, so he'd have to take extra on-line or summer school courses to catch up.
I hate to admit it, but he proved us wrong.
By the second semester this year, he earned straight A's (only his second year in a regular high school), and he still never brought home homework because of block scheduling allowing so much extra time in class. Last year he took 3 STAAR tests and passed all of them on the first try. This year he took 2 more and passed them on the first try. He even scored advanced in US History. His teachers all spoke very highly of him, one even stating that he wished he had more students just like him. He made the JV soccer team and played faithfully for two years now, voted by his teammates as the Defensive MVP both years. He took a Drawing class this year where his teacher noticed his talent and encouraged him to sign up for AP Art his senior year. He also took Driver's Education online at home and learned how to drive a stick, then passed his driving test on the first try.
We've barely had him home for 3 years, and now here we are preparing for his senior year. We spend so much time finding new ways to connect with him, modeling wise behavior and decision making, and do all we can to mobilize him to be a productive citizen and young adult once high school is over. College is a definite, though we truly don't have much of an idea of where he'll go or what he even wants to study. He may go the community college route since it's a very viable option here where we live, but time will tell. Sometimes God brings opportunities that we aren't even thinking about, so we will trust Him to guide us through this next year and into the following year.
So, as we finished up one year of high school and then immediately took off on a road trip to visit family, we couldn't have been more blessed than to embark on Juan's senior year by having his aunt (a professional photographer) do his senior photo shoot. She's absolutely amazing, and it was just another one of those moments that reminded me of the entire family God gave him when he allowed his adoption to finally go through. After spending this special time with Chrissy, my sweet sister-in-law, I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.
If you're in the Columbus, IN area and need a photographer, she's definitely your gal!!!!
http://www.christinaalspaughphotography.com
Here are a few of my favorites, and a few of her work in progress.
Did I mention how talented she is????
Can't wait to settle on the absolute favorites to print out for friends and family.
Ready or not, senior year, here he comes!
We told him the newcomer school his first year was a dream school. He got to be with the same group of friends all day long every day. The majority of them spoke Spanish, so they became pretty tight-knit early on in the year. He never came home with homework, and all he did was complain that he wasn't able to spend more time out with his friends. We told him when he went to a regular high school the following year, it would be quite a bit different.
"You'll have homework. You'll have STAAR (state required) tests that you likely will need more than one opportunity to pass. You'll change classes and classmates more, so you won't have that close group of friends to hang out with all day. It will be 100% English, so you'll be challenged on a much harder level." He only earned half credit for his year at the newcomer school, so he'd have to take extra on-line or summer school courses to catch up.
I hate to admit it, but he proved us wrong.
By the second semester this year, he earned straight A's (only his second year in a regular high school), and he still never brought home homework because of block scheduling allowing so much extra time in class. Last year he took 3 STAAR tests and passed all of them on the first try. This year he took 2 more and passed them on the first try. He even scored advanced in US History. His teachers all spoke very highly of him, one even stating that he wished he had more students just like him. He made the JV soccer team and played faithfully for two years now, voted by his teammates as the Defensive MVP both years. He took a Drawing class this year where his teacher noticed his talent and encouraged him to sign up for AP Art his senior year. He also took Driver's Education online at home and learned how to drive a stick, then passed his driving test on the first try.
We've barely had him home for 3 years, and now here we are preparing for his senior year. We spend so much time finding new ways to connect with him, modeling wise behavior and decision making, and do all we can to mobilize him to be a productive citizen and young adult once high school is over. College is a definite, though we truly don't have much of an idea of where he'll go or what he even wants to study. He may go the community college route since it's a very viable option here where we live, but time will tell. Sometimes God brings opportunities that we aren't even thinking about, so we will trust Him to guide us through this next year and into the following year.
So, as we finished up one year of high school and then immediately took off on a road trip to visit family, we couldn't have been more blessed than to embark on Juan's senior year by having his aunt (a professional photographer) do his senior photo shoot. She's absolutely amazing, and it was just another one of those moments that reminded me of the entire family God gave him when he allowed his adoption to finally go through. After spending this special time with Chrissy, my sweet sister-in-law, I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.
If you're in the Columbus, IN area and need a photographer, she's definitely your gal!!!!
http://www.christinaalspaughphotography.com
Here are a few of my favorites, and a few of her work in progress.
Did I mention how talented she is????
Can't wait to settle on the absolute favorites to print out for friends and family.
Ready or not, senior year, here he comes!
