Devri Walls's Blog, page 3

Teaser Alert!!!

Writing is an interesting beast, it is both wonderful and heart wrenchingly painful. I wrote a post on KC Neal's blog about the wonderful freedom writing gives you to be and create anything you want! Today, I want to talk about the outlet it is for those little tidbits you want to shout to the world! You know, those things that you believe and no one will give you a soap box and a megaphone to let it be heard. I have a few soap boxes and if I preach it, people get a little bored….weird right? I don't know why nobody likes to be lectured these days.

But in a book, now there is the perfect opportunity for all the authors little insights, their moral compasses, their beliefs, to just slide right into the pages. To be heard in a way that makes people stop and go, I never thought of that. Or, I needed that. Something like this…

"Sometimes things hurt Kiora," Malena said "but we do them anyway. Your people are depending on you to stop Dralazar from over running them."

Kiora battled within herself. The pain of last night was still raw and the thought of enduring more or being acquainted with it on an intimate basis, made her want to run screaming. However, what of her people? Could she allow them to become the victims in this nightmare?

"What are you thinking?" Malena finally ventured.

"What if I try to save them, and I'm not good enough?" she blurted.

"What if you don't try to save them at all?" she answered simply.

"Malena, I have never been… anything."

"Don't be ridiculous Kiora, we are all something. You just never knew what it was that was lying within you. Now that you know, you must choose. Will you ignore it and go back to pretending that you are nothing? Or will you embrace it and become the something that you were meant to be? You have been blessed with all the tools to fulfill this calling Kiora, you just need to find them."

Kiora fiddled with the torn edge of her pants, weighing what she had just seen with what Malena had said. "Being different has always been… bad for me."

"Being different will now be painful for you, but it will be worth it. One step at a time Kiora." Malena added       -Wings of Arian by Devri Walls. Release date this spring.

What if I am not good enough?! How many awesome things have we as the world missed out on because someone thought, "What if I am not good enough?" I have thought it, a lot. Its scary, and overwhelming and its so easy to go back where its safe. But what if you are good enough. What if something awesome would have happened if you tried!! The catch 22 is, you will never know which way it will go unless you try. But if you never try, there is only one possible outcome- nothing.

And the other little tidbit, "Being different has always been bad for me." Stop trying to be someone else y'all! We spend so much time trying to fit into boxes the world gets boring and one dimensional. Being different is good, if you embrace it! In the words of Genie in Aladdin, "Beeeeeeee yourself!!" As a writer it means I try to honor my own voice. Some people wont like it, others will love it because I sound like me. As a person it means I have stopped trying so hard to fit into boxes. I have my own opinions, my own way to be. And PLEASE, you do to!

My book, Wings of Arian, is an exciting ride. One reader said, "Its somewhere in between Eragon and Graceling." I have to admit, I was flattered! And I love that as a writer I can write all the fantasy, excitement and love story that I want, all the while slipping in a few golden tidbits to make it meaningful! And remember… we are all something!

A Little Progress

I talked with my cover artist today…..and paid my cover artist today. This means that in two weeks, I will have my first 'draft'. I was SUPER excited. Then, I talked to a local publishing house that is interested in my work. Also exciting. And then, he told me I needed to get started on organizing blog tours to promote my book. Now, I am frozen in fear! Literally, just finished sitting in a chair, in my silent house, staring at nothing, while I freaked out. Why? Because I am retarded… no really, that is the only explanation I can come up with it.

I don't like self promotion. ( I know right? I am trying to be an author and I don't like to self promote. Something I am going to have to get over, quickly.) It's one of those childhood issues that is coming back to haunt me. Unfortunately, there is absolutely no way around it. If I want this, and I do, I have to self promote. It's just so dang SCARY! Not to mention uncomfortable! But it will be ok, I can do this. Right?

Thank you all!!

For any of you who have ever set out to do the seemingly impossible, lets hear it for the cheerleaders!

It is always harder to set out on paths that others view as unanacheivable. Probably because everybody likes to tell you so. And if they don't say it, you can see it in their eyes, looking at you like you are insane, or maybe just stupid, or a dreamer that is to be pitied. When in all reality, its not your goals that are the problem, but that they are too scared to try it themselves.

Now, the other problem is that those of us who do, have surely met with failure before and are a little scared ourselves. Deep down underneath the facade of supreme self confidence is a quivering little monster hovering in the shadows. And that little monster is scared that maybe, just maybe it wont work out. Now for those of us pushing forward that monster is small. We have stomped on it and squished it, yelled at it and pummeled it down to size, but despite all the abuse it remains. And when those around us judge us in a negative way it jumps up from its corner and yells, "Hey you, did you hear that!" or " I told you so!" When the little monster speaks out of turn we can do one of two things. One, step on it to shut it up. Two, bawl our eyes out in fear. When we are bawling our eyes out we need a cheerleader. We need that friend, spouse or family that says, "I believe in you!" Someone that can remind you of what you already believe, or boost you with new things that you didn't even know. Cheerleaders give you the strength to kick that monster back down. Sometimes they even pick you up a little higher than you were before the break down. So, to all my cheerleaders out there. THANK YOU! I couldn't do this without you.

Come be a fly on my wall

I know we have all wished at one point or another that we could be a fly on the wall. Not sure if any of you have wanted to be a fly on MY wall, but today you get to. This is what just transpired in my house.

An hour or so before this conversation takes place I am stressing out, trying to decide on a tittle for my book. Then, this happens-

My husband, Zack says, "Whats the matter?"

"I'm depressed!" I say with the frowniest face you ever did see.

"Why?"

"I don't know!!" I whine. "I just have so much on my mind, and I am so worried, but I am trying not to think about it so I have shoved it all down, so I don't even know what is depressing me!" I say while flopping dramatically onto the counter with my arms over my head. Then through my arms my muffled voice continues. "And because I am depressed now I am craving sugar. Candy and cupcakes and mmmmmmm" I moan pathetically.

There is silence for a second before my husband says, "I think we should call this book, 'the baby you never delivered' (large pregnant pause while my husband waits for me to get his joke) "because" he continues "you are acting just like your pregnant. Depressed for no reason, craving food…….

He was RIGHT!! Poor man has had a 'pregnant wife' for months! Lucky for him, I still had a sense of humor despite the pregnancy symptoms and I laughed, and laughed… and laughed. It was actually very helpful for the blues.

'The baby I never delivered'….. has a ring to it don't you think?

Help a girl out!

Happy Thanksgiving weekend! Hope you all had a great holiday and submitted yourselves to the great joy that is black friday. Every year I swear I am NOT going. And every year, well lets just say I was well acquainted with Kohls after the two hour line. Its like a drug I tell you. You say you're not going but then- you see the ads, and the prices, and you just cant STOP!

I am gearing up to start putting up the Christmas decorations today. I normally am giddy in anticipation of it. This year, not so much. I think I have too much on my mind these days to allow much room for the Christmas excitement. That is not going to work for me! I love this time of year, the joy, the love. Sure you can argue commercialization. Its awful, I choose to ignore it. But what I am not doing a good job of ignoring is all the things that are sucking up every inch of space left in my brain, getting ready to release this book.

So help me out readers. How do I do this?? How do you try to push through one of the hardest things you have ever attempted to do and not let it take over every waking and non-waking moment of your life. I really am asking for your suggestions. Yoga? Chocolate? Time management? Please, leave me a comment, let me know your opinion on this one.

Why? Because I am a moron!

So funny thing, I am not a computer guru. I am also not an organizational guru. I was telling Ciera the ridiculousness that is my list of saved files and she insisted that I post about it because she just found it that darn funny.

Back story; I wrote my book and then edited, well, a lot of times. No, I mean a LOT of times. The only way for me to freely do this is if I don't permanently delete things What if I change my mind and need it later? So I would save each changed version under a different title. In my file right now I have: Kiora, Book 1, book 1 revised, not so final book one,( no I am not kidding that is really what its called) not so final book two( which is actually not book 2, but book one in disguise) Book two, (now that really is book two) book three( nope, that is also book one) final revision, completed edition of book one, new beginning on book one, and…. well I sure there are two more but at this point even I am confused.

While looking through them trying to find something she thought she needed, Ciera says to me, "well why don't you just.."

"No!" i interrupted her knowing she is going to say something completely logical at this point, which will really just annoy me. "I don't want to hear it."

So she abided my wishes and instead wrote on a piece of paper while smirking. Book one; Jan, 2011. Book one; Feb 2011 and so on.

Because Ciera, I am a moron, that's why I am not going to do it that way."

Have you seen that Kayak commercial where he tells you that dumb people do things the hard way and thats why they get ahead in life. You should, hilarious! And that is the line, Why? Because I am a moron!

Failing does not make me a Failure

Don't you love it when you learn something that you should have already known? You may have even told other people about this thing, but didn't really apply it in your own life. Yeah, that happens to me all the time. At church today one of the youth gave a talk. I am not sure how old this boy was, maybe fourteen, but he talked about self worth (something that I have been known to struggle with from time to time). He said something that resonated with me. He said, "you can't attach your self worth to the things you are doing, the things the world values." And it clicked! The light bulb came on and, LIGHT! Glorious light.

There was my problem. I have attached my self worth to everything I do. So, if I don't do well, or don't succeed, I am worthless, a failure. Ridiculous. The big hangup with this line of thinking is that the 'things', are never good enough. Regardless of how much I have done during the day, there is always something else waiting in the wings. Something else I should have done better, or made time for, or had energy for. I should have ate better, exercised, played with my kids more…something! My poor husband gets so frustrated when I am in tears at the end of the night, saying that I didn't get anything done. He, somewhat exasperatedly, tells me I am crazy! He lists off all the things I did do and repeats his mantra that he saves especially for me, "You have to give yourself some credit honey, look at all you do!" It helps a little, but I need to listen to the poor man more. But, what I did is never enough for me. My list of 'did nots' is always much longer than my 'dids'.

So, where can I find self worth that is not attached to the things I do. A little tricky for me honestly, because I have always connected to the two. But without getting too churchy on you all, I am special because I am a Child of God, we all are! Nothing I will do will change, or lessen that. If I can focus on that, I think the failures will be easier to handle. Get up, brush yourself off and move on. Why? Because failing does not make me a failure! It does not change my worth!

Am I going to be able to wake up in the morning and have this completely under control? Nope. This one is going to take me a while. But the good news is that I am not fumbling in a dark room anymore, the light is on and I can see the answer. Now, I just have to apply it.

The Evil Queen: Punctuation

Me and Punctuation have a strained relationship. I hate it, it hates me, and yet we still try to live in harmony for the benefit of you fine people. The perfect example of how I feel about punctuation comes from my parents. I believe I was in sixth grade, or so the story goes, and had an assignment to write a story for school.  I sat down at the computer and typed out my self described 'brilliant' piece of literature. I printed it and excitedly ran out to my parents, the pages held in my hot little hands. I sat anxiously as they read over the story. After words they both looked up at me a bit bewildered.

"Well, " I said, practically bouncing out of my chair. "what did you think?"

"Devri, there is no punctuation," they ventured cautiously "Not anywhere. It is all one big sentence."

I was exasperated, "I know, I know. But what did you think of the STORY?!" I could not understand how such a small thing as punctuation could take away from the brilliance they had just experienced.

Alright, I get it now. It is distracting when the punctuation is a mess. I am a tad better than I once was, although it is still sad. In a almost freaky coincidence in a time of need, in walked Ciera, to save my 'attempting to publish a book' rear end. Editor and advisor extraordinaire. She had the painful job of pouring over my manuscript trying to fix all of my punctuation and grammatical errors.

Pity her, you all should pity her.

I am grateful she saw enough potential in my writing to work on it, (have I mentioned that I love her!) On top of that, the darling girl is also going to check my blog posts so I don't look like a complete moron. (Have I mentioned I love her? You should too, any that would like to send fruit baskets, or chocolate rose bouquets, I will send you her address.) That being said, if you are reading through a post that is a little, sad, in the technical department. Have no fear, Ciera the amazing must not have made it there yet. Don't fret she will be there soon as no error can be left uncorrected, no grammatical stone unturned. I really should make that girl a super hero cape… if only I knew how to sew.