Failing does not make me a Failure

Don't you love it when you learn something that you should have already known? You may have even told other people about this thing, but didn't really apply it in your own life. Yeah, that happens to me all the time. At church today one of the youth gave a talk. I am not sure how old this boy was, maybe fourteen, but he talked about self worth (something that I have been known to struggle with from time to time). He said something that resonated with me. He said, "you can't attach your self worth to the things you are doing, the things the world values." And it clicked! The light bulb came on and, LIGHT! Glorious light.

There was my problem. I have attached my self worth to everything I do. So, if I don't do well, or don't succeed, I am worthless, a failure. Ridiculous. The big hangup with this line of thinking is that the 'things', are never good enough. Regardless of how much I have done during the day, there is always something else waiting in the wings. Something else I should have done better, or made time for, or had energy for. I should have ate better, exercised, played with my kids more…something! My poor husband gets so frustrated when I am in tears at the end of the night, saying that I didn't get anything done. He, somewhat exasperatedly, tells me I am crazy! He lists off all the things I did do and repeats his mantra that he saves especially for me, "You have to give yourself some credit honey, look at all you do!" It helps a little, but I need to listen to the poor man more. But, what I did is never enough for me. My list of 'did nots' is always much longer than my 'dids'.

So, where can I find self worth that is not attached to the things I do. A little tricky for me honestly, because I have always connected to the two. But without getting too churchy on you all, I am special because I am a Child of God, we all are! Nothing I will do will change, or lessen that. If I can focus on that, I think the failures will be easier to handle. Get up, brush yourself off and move on. Why? Because failing does not make me a failure! It does not change my worth!

Am I going to be able to wake up in the morning and have this completely under control? Nope. This one is going to take me a while. But the good news is that I am not fumbling in a dark room anymore, the light is on and I can see the answer. Now, I just have to apply it.