Heather Holleman's Blog, page 108

Small, Easy Changes

I love thinking about how small interventions into your life can create major ripple effects of well-being. Try these: drink another glass of water; eat an apple; go to bed at the same time every night; record 5 things you’re thankful for; walk for 15 minutes around the block.

In a classroom, you can also make small, easy interventions that create major ripple effects. Try this: learn every name; check often for understanding; play music to increase the positive mood to enhance learning; share your life by telling students what you’re making for dinner.

In a family, you can make small, easy interventions that create beautiful effects. Try these: create a new tradition like pizza on Friday night; play one round of cards after dinner; start a family prayer journal; build a few surprises into the week.

Think of whatever “system” you belong to (yourself, your family, your work environment, and your friendships) and implement a tiny, easy positive change.

Listen, Celebrate, Watch, and Remove a Burden

I’ve been thinking about the time Moses’ father-in-law comes to visit him in the desert. It’s such a beautiful account in Exodus 18. It actually offers great insight into how to interact with both adult children and younger people who might look to you for wisdom. Here’s what I noticed:

In verse 8, we read how Moses “told his father-in-law about everything the Lord had done to Pharaoh and the Egyptians for Israel’s sake and about all the hardships they had met along the way and how the Lord had saved them.” Jethro listens with delight (v. 9) and then celebrates with Moses (10-12). What a caring and loving conversation! Can you imagine how wonderful it must have felt for Moses to give this account and celebrate?

What I notice next is something so astonishingly vital: Jethro observes Moses in his actual work and speaks words of wisdom to help Moses unburden himself. Jethro makes key observations about how hard Moses is working and says, “What you are doing is not good. . the work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone. Listen now to me and I will give you some advice. . .”

Of course, Jethro helps Moses establish a much-needed system of delegating leadership to help him “stand the strain” and “satisfy the people.” Moses listens to Jethro and does everything he advises at this point.

I think about the order of events here–the listening, the celebrating, the observing, and then the advising. I think we reverse this order or leave out the listening and celebrating all together. I think about acting more like Jethro with my family, students, and neighbors. Before I step into to offer advice about anything, I think about Jethro and all the time he took to listen, celebrate, and observe Moses before saying a word. As I approach my older daughters, I think about this order. Then I can step in and tell them when I think they are working too hard, when I think they should stop certain stressful activities, or when I think they’ve over-scheduled themselves. I have conversations like this with my Penn State honors students all the time!

We all need a Jethro, and we all need to listen to the wisdom of older people like Moses. I remember the day an older Cru staff team member called to tell me that what I was doing was “not good” because I had 19 speaking events in one month! She told me I would soon need a chief-of-staff person to schedule my life if I kept overbooking myself. She told me with wise words that I needed to protect my energy, to pause and evaluate for signs of burnout, and to listen better to the Holy Spirit about what to agree to. She was a Jethro, and I was the Moses. I never had a overbooked month like that again.

Sometimes you’re Jethro, and sometimes you’re Moses!

 

The Blessing of a Virtual Retreat

I wasn’t sure how it would feel this morning as I spoke from the corner of my bedroom for a virtual retreat on Seated, Guarded, and Sent. Yet so quickly I realized how fantastic this event was going to be! I loved the cozy feeling of speaking to the women as they sat in their own kitchens with their coffee. Some of the women confessed they’d leave their cameras off because they had rollers in their hair and no make-up on!

Over a Zoom platform, the church welcomed the participants and began a pre-recorded worship session. They then chose names for “door prizes” that the church would mail to the winners. After each break, the host chose more names for even more prizes. How fun! After my first two talks, the host invited the women into smaller breakout rooms for “table talk” discussions. The event even included a Q & A with questions from the chat feature on Zoom. A special time! Yeah for virtual events during a pandemic! The three hours flew by.

I thought about the blessing of it all and how, even when we cannot meet together in person, we can do things like this that still allow people to connect deeply with God and one another through technology.

Murmuring

It’s hard to read Exodus and not think carefully about all the complaining. We see the worst in ourselves as the Israelites murmur and grumble and continue to complain when things don’t go well for them. In fact, I’ve heard others teach on this murmuring, critical spirit that can take over your whole life. In can infect your home and work environment. When we murmur, we miss the miracles around us. We forget that God is working.

And we forget to add good to any situation we’re in.

I’ve learned that when I’m tempted to complain, the very next thought should be this: OK–I see a problem here, so how can I help solve it? What can I do to add good here? I’ve also learned that it’s easy to find what’s wrong. Anyone can do that. It’s harder to see what’s right, what’s working, and what’s hopeful. Most of my life has involved the hard training to find the good and “give thanks in all circumstances.”

Murmuring represents inaction. It’s speech and an attitude that pollutes us and others. But productive, helpful speech finds what needs to change and moves towards positive solutions. This works well in our leadership positions, in environments where we must give feedback, and in our social media presence.

Something I Wrote on Interpersonal Curiosity

Happy Thursday! I recently wrote for parents and youth pastors who wanted to know how to help teens grow in the art of interpersonal curiosity. Here is the article, and I hope you enjoy all the fun tips you can apply today as you also grow as a curious person.

https://www.rootedministry.com/blog/teaching-teens-the-art-of-interpersonal-curiosity/

Not Everything

Today I enjoyed a lovely little flair moment while admiring my blooming orchid. What astonishing beauty! But then I leaned in to smell the bloom.

Such disappointment! My variety of orchid does not smell very fragrant at all. But this is intended; I learn that some orchids attract pollinators in other ways: through mimicking pheromones, through dripping sweet nectar, and through displaying gorgeous color. Humans might not smell what insects can smell.

Oh, but how I wanted that bright pink and purple orchid to smell sticky-sweet and full of springtime as the winter snow and ice fell around my house today! But then I realized that she can’t be everything. She’s beautiful but not fragrant. Some flowers are fragrant but not beautiful. I let them be as they are and accept the thing they offer.

Even nature teaches us that one need not be everything. 

I did think of what we offer in any situation. We don’t have to be everything. We can be just one thing, and that’s wonderful, beautiful, and intended for us.

The God Show

Early this morning, I received a great question from a reader: How can I keep writing and publishing from being the “me show?”For 8 long years, I struggled with the self-promotion and fame aspect of writing and publishing. I feared the sin of it all—that I was becoming like the people Jesus scolds in Matthew 23:5-7; He rebukes the scribes (the writers!) who “love the place of honor” and “the most important seats” and who “love to be greeted with respect in the marketplaces.” As my first book sold well and I began to speak to huge audiences, I started to love the attention. So then I started to fear it.This was becoming the “me show.”But God sent three wise women to cancel the “me show” and make it the “God and you show.” Donkeys. My friend practically dragged me away from a speaking event as I greeted all my adoring fans. When I said, “Why did you do that? Those women needed me!” She said, “Heather they don’t need you; they need Jesus.” She also told me that when I felt consumed with myself to remember how “the Lord uses donkeys” (Numbers 22:28) to speak; He doesn’t need us, and we aren’t that great or special. He can use anyone or anything. If He chooses to use you, remember the donkey. Light . Another friend told me the story of a gifted musician who stopped making beautiful music because she liked the praise she received from it. She thought this displeased God, so she hid her gift. I thought about this for a long time. When I read Matthew 5:16 and Jesus’ encouragement to “Let your light shine” so others “can see your good deeds and glorify your Father in Heaven,” I thought about writing as a way to let my light shine. I thought about all the beautiful works of art in the world and how I’m glad those artists didn’t hide their gift. 3. God . God can humble you. When I told my mentor over and over again how afraid I was of falling into the trap of fame and self-promotion, she said, “Stop worrying about this. Go write! Go speak! Go teach! Just realize that God can humble you when and if He needs to. Let Him handle this.”So I pressed on! I realized I could use writing as a way to love other people. I learned to use speaking and publishing to love others, to bless them, and to offer a gift to them. That’s why I don’t fear book signings of photographs or attention anymore; it doesn’t poison my heart when I see it all as a way to love others and bless them somehow. It’s how I take my eyes off myself and think, “This is about God and about you–not me.”Lastly (and most importantly), I have to listen to the Holy Spirit every day. I have to keep the right people in my life to keep me focused on God. (This is one of the reasons I publish with Moody Publishers because they don’t want to make Christian celebrities.) So I press on. I have to confess sin, ask God to “instruct me in the way chosen for me” (Psalm 25), and press on.I pray you press on, too.PS: Here is an infographic I made for the writers following along to gain writing tips and questions:

Can and Will

This morning, I learned something so wonderful in Exodus 6. I loved it so much that I already told my husband, my daughters, my sister, my friend, and now you! In Exodus 6, God says something very unusual to Moses. He says this:

“I am the Lord. I appeared to Abraham, to Isaac and to Jacob as God Almighty, but by my name the Lord I did not make myself known to them. . . Therefore, say to the Israelites: I am the Lord, and I will bring you out under the yoke of the Egyptians.”

I pause. I cannot figure it out. Why would it matter that the people knew God as God Almighty (or El-Shaddai in Hebrew) but not yet as the Lord (Jehovah)? What’s so special about people knowing God now as Jehovah (also said as Yahweh) as opposed to El-Shaddai?

I love what I discover in a blog post by Jacob Gerber. He explains it as the difference between the Almighty God who can do all things, and the One who will do all things.

Gerber explains, “As El-Shaddai, he is capable of doing all these things, but there is no guarantee that he will. But as [Jehovah], God binds himself to his people, and he binds his people to himself. He is their God, and they are his people. God will move heaven and earth to deliver his people and bring them into their rest.”

In Exodus 6, God tells us He not only can do everything, but He also will. He will! He is bound by the covenant He “swore with uplifted hand. . ” (8). This serves as a guarantee of His love and faithfulness to us.

All day, I think about the God who can do anything and everything. But it’s more than that; He can do it, and He will do all He promises to us.

Now Go

I’m reading in Exodus after my journey through Genesis and Job. I pause at Exodus 4:12 because I realize it’s exactly what so many of us–perhaps even you–need to hear in a fresh way.

If you remember, God gives Moses a wonderful (if not terrifying) assignment to speak first to the elders of Israel and then eventually to Pharaoh about releasing the Israelites from Egyptian enslavement.

Moses does what we all might do when faced with an overwhelming task. He asks for reassurance. He tells the Lord he’s not skilled enough. Then he begs God to ask someone else to do the work.

I just love God’s words to Moses:

“Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.”

I will help you. I will teach you what to say. 

As we move into new areas of ministry and take steps that require faith, I’m certain we will also feel insecure, overwhelmed, and unskilled. But if God sends us, He will help and teach us. It might be that God positions you with important, intimidating leaders. It might be that He puts you in a situation of speaking to powerful people when you feel powerless. Or, like Moses, God may ask us to do something where we feel like our mannerism or impediments (like Moses and his “slow tongue”) don’t match the calling. But who are we to question God? He can send anyone, at anytime, in any way, to accomplish His purposes.

I like to remember that as we do things that terrify us, God will help us and teach us.

Now go!

 

The Undecorating

Five years ago–during this very week, I wrote this about the beauty of taking down the decorations. I reread it every year, and I thought you’d enjoy it today:

I notice today that nobody ever posts photos of undecorating.

Nobody wants to see a house dismantled of its glorious holiday adornment. I find it curious because I love taking down the decorations as much as I love putting them up.

Stripping down the house back to that pure, simple home creates a sense of a fresh start and a refocusing on day-to-day simple community living and work.

I think about God’s work of dismantling the excess and the show from my own heart. I imagine the clean surfaces, the fresh walls and windows, and the wide open living spaces of my own heart now cleared. I’m pared down to basics. 

I love the basics of family, friendship, hard work, and creativity.

I love the basics of living from my soul and not my circumstances.

I love the basics of having a grateful heart.

I love the basics of walking to school.

I love the basics of a cat at my feet, the Bible in my hand, and a mug beside me. I love the basics of a teaching life where I print out the fresh names of all those new students. I paperclip stacks of lesson plans freshly copied and organize my bag for a new day of school tomorrow.

Soon, I’ll cook dinner, and I think we’ll watch Downton Abbey tonight when the girls go to bed.

I love undecorating.