Heather Holleman's Blog, page 106

A Challenging Way to Love Yourself and Others: A Valentine’s Tribute

The Italian Mama recently wisely advised me to take the best care of myself as I can in my 40’s because in the 50’s and onward, it’s terribly difficult to retain your fitness and muscle mass in particular. The more you invest in your physical health in your 40’s (and before!), the stronger and healthier you will be.

I’ve never been a good exerciser. I loathe it. I can’t stand the gym. I feel like a hamster in a cage there. I do walk every day for fitness, but the Italian Mama challenges me to even more. Why aren’t I using my fancy indoor bike? Why aren’t I lifting the hand weights? Why can’t I add in some push-ups and planks? “Build your muscles!” she says with that Italian Mama insistence. I thought about weakly objecting with how healthy I am with all my plant-based eating, how much weight I’ve lost, and how wonderful I am generally. But no. I do not speak.

When the Italian Mama speaks, one must listen. 

She knows things. She’s been there. And she will save you.

I start slow. First, I announce my plan to my family. Then, I tell the Italian Mama. She celebrates.

I start easy. I bike at low resistance for only 10 minutes–just enough to make me long for a nap and a chocolate bar. I then stretch and regain my breath and heartbeat. I then do the unimaginable: I lift my arm weights. I perform a little routine for my shoulders and arms. And then? I attempt a whopping 4 push-ups before I collapse and call out for pizza (this really happened).

But it’s love. It’s a love routine for myself and for others. I think about caring for my health and physical fitness as a way to bless my family in my coming years.

And I’d like to thank the Italian Mama who loves us all enough to tell us exactly what we’re doing wrong sometimes and what to change in order to thrive later. She’s right about everything. Her advice: build your muscles now. . . for later.

Maybe Wait Till March

I’ve learning to truly hibernate in February—at least creatively. It’s bitter cold, snowy, and dark out there. I used to feel like something was wrong when I thought my only possible work this month was survival.

But lately, I just embrace it.

I’ll be creative in March! Doesn’t that sound lovely to say it’s OK to put creating off if you feel too much pressure, or if you feel unmotivated, or if you feel too snowbound or pandemic-bound?

Start again next month.

When You Cannot See Your Way Ahead

I’ve talked to friends just like me who enjoy certainty and clear future plans. As the COVID pandemic continues, we ask questions about our semesters, our summer plans, and our expectations for the fall. Who knows? We cannot see our way ahead.

I love how the Holy Spirit will remind us of comforting passages of scripture to cling to when we cannot see our way ahead. In Psalm 142:3, an overwhelmed and uncertain David writes, “When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who knows my way.” In the King James version, it reads, “When my spirit was overwhelmed within me, then thou knewest my path.”

It occurs to me that we do not have to know everything because God knows our way. It’s relaxing if you think about. We don’t have to read the map or navigate in the front seat. We can sit back and enjoy the view. We’ll get where we’re supposed to be soon.

And Then You Grow to Like It

Snow falls again here in Pennsylvania. We wake up, blanketed by white again. This means we bundle up to shovel the snow again. 

But it’s a joyful thing. I’ve grown to love sipping hot coffee, throwing on my thick coat and boots and gloves and scarf and hat. I like the quiet of the cold morning. I like the orderly lines I follow along the sidewalks and driveway. I like the feel of exercise this early.

And I love warming up to the oatmeal and apples after shoveling snow. Someday, we’ll purchase a snowblower and finish this job so quickly. Instead of the quiet interrupted by the sounds of my snow shovel, we’ll hear that loud machine. For now, I’ve grown to like the old-fashioned manual work of winter.

Mostly Encourage

I’m learning that teaching, grading, parenting, married life, friendship–all the things I do (and all the things you do in whatever category) should mostly involve encouragement.

People are already too hard on themselves anyway. Their internal criticism runs all the time, and I don’t need to pile on feedback and criticism and correction. Even in a situation that requires correction (grading, parenting), I’m beginning to see the impact of 90% encouragement and 10% feedback.

I see that people don’t shut down if they feel encouraged. They’re more open to learning and more positive. They’re more likely to think about what you’re saying when they feel encouraged. Tell your spouse, your child, or your student ten things they are doing right and maybe the one thing you need to offer feedback on for change.

Mostly encourage. 

The Good Foundation

After my neighbor let me borrow a pair of hers, I ordered some Yaktrax so I could walk more easily on ice and snow. They are like little tire snow chains for your feet. You secure the Yaktrax around your snowboots or regular shoes, and they provide all the traction you need to walk.

I’m fearless now! All those dangerous spots of ice on the sidewalk matter little to me now. I tell my friend that people can do anything if they just have the right foundation, the right footing. The thought emboldens me to live with more courage as I move into things that require faith. I have the sure foundation of Jesus undergirding every step.

I think of Psalm 94: When I thought, “My foot slips,” your steadfast love, O Lord, held me up.

So You Might Pass Safely Here

As my husband and I walk out onto the frozen lake, it occurs to me how we’re walking on water. I marvel at the strange beauty of it and how just recently the lake existed in a totally different form.

It’s bitter cold as the wind whips our faces. It’s a stark and darkening landscape–empty and lonely. Who would choose this?

Yet these conditions create our safe passage here. We cannot walk on flowing water, but we can walk on the ice.

I remember that when God brings a different kind of weather of the soul, a different kind of landscape around me, or different condition of any sort, they perhaps form a kind of safe passage. We’re going somewhere. He’s taking us there. But to get there, conditions must change. Our sure footing depends upon this. I trust Him more and more on the journey.

 

Just Three

I think I’ve discovered my perfect grading strategy. Three at a time! Just three projects / portfolios / essays–whatever it is, I just grade three of them at once and then do something else for a while. And then I change locations. Grade three. Do something else. Start again in a new location.

It’s working! I don’t know why 3 is the magic number, but it’s just enough that I feel like I’ve accomplished something and not too much that I’m too tired to start again.

After I finish grading my 3 things, I find I’m ironing, going on walks, cleaning the kitchen, or doing all sorts things. And so far, I’ve been grading in the kitchen, upstairs, and now in my bedroom.

I don’t know why it’s working, but it’s working.

Abiding in Well-Being

I started to read a fresh, new Bible–the ESV study Bible–because my precious green NIV study Bible has fallen to shreds. I actually read them side-by-side to see the slight variation in translation.

It’s a joy to think about fresh insights, fresh highlighting, and fresh commentary on the most beloved psalms. Today, I look at Psalm 25:12-13 in the ESV. I read, “Who is the man who fears the Lord? Him will he instruct in the way that he should choose. His soul will abide in well-being.” I love thinking about God instructing us when we have to make a choice. And I love this concept of abiding in well-being. How marvelous!

Since I’m on the theme of the Lord’s instruction, I underline Psalm 32:8 where the Lord says, “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.” When I think about God’s loving eye upon us to instruct and teach us, it fills my heart with peace.

 

Three Ways to Start Your First Sentence

A friend asked me for my best advice on how to start her writing project. She need actual sentences to try. Maybe you need a template like this to just get you started.

I told her three things that might help, especially for short pieces like social media posts or blogs. These three tips also work for public speaking.

Tip One: Start immediately with the problem you’re going to solve. Begin with this line: I’ve noticed a problem that_______________.

Tip Two: Ask a question: Have you ever felt (or wondered or questioned)_________?

Tip Three: Help us see you. Put our “feet on the ground” by telling us where you are, what you’re doing, and what your environment is like. You might say, “I’m sitting here, drinking hot chocolate in my yellow recliner. It’s snowing outside.” 

Tip Four: Reveal the event that lead to your writing in the first place (like I did above).

Start with the problem. 

Ask a question.

Help us see you.

Reveal the event that prompted the writing. 

Now get writing!