Heather Holleman's Blog, page 107

When You Feel Ashamed and Far from God

I remember the day I read Romans 5:5 and how “God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” It’s such a powerful image. Think of God pouring His love into us–like from a great heavenly pitcher. It’s abundant and free-flowing. It reminds me of 1 John 3:1 where we read this declaration: “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!”

What a glorious verb! Lavish! Picture this display of God’s love over your life.

Today I consider what conditions we must meet to enjoy this great poured-out and lavish love. Is it our good behavior? Is it our service? It is anything we do at all? What must we do but enjoy Jesus and what He’s already accomplished for us?

There’s a treacherous lie that forms around these questions.

As I prepare to speak virtually at a women’s retreat this weekend, I’m aware of the heaviness of the lie in my own heart and in the hearts of so many who feel ashamed, unworthy, or trapped in sin. I’m aware how many of us wake up and feel God is primarily angry or disappointed in us. The lie takes root:

We feel cut off from His love. 

We feel God is mad at us. 

We feel ashamed that we should be better at this point in our lives. 

What can I say except it’s not true? What can I say but this: I invite myself and others into David’s own heart in Psalm 51 where he famously asks God: “Restore to me the joy of your salvation and renew a right spirit within me.” We must continually stand in the truth of Romans 8:1 that there is “no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” We must battle for the truth that the gospel is Christ’s righteousness applied to us, for all time.

Otherwise, we’re telling ourselves that God’s attitude towards us depends on our good behavior. Once we confess sin and ask God to help us keep in step with God’s spirit (which you can do this very moment!) we can press on knowing that at all times “God is for us” and not against us (Romans 8). Maybe someone needs to read Paul’s words afresh today. When you don’t feel God’s love, when you feel condemned or ashamed, or when you feel outside of God’s blessing, remember this passage:

If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? . . .  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Finally, consider that Jesus is interceding now for you and me because Satan works as our constant tormenting accuser. We read in Revelation 12:10 about Satan as “the accuser of our brothers and sisters, who accuses them before our God day and night.” 

Not today! You are free from all accusation and all condemnation. Ask God to renew your joy in Him and help you experience the love He never takes away from you. And if there are areas of your life that you need to confess as sin, picture Jesus with you, working on it together with you.

God is delighted by you (Psalm 18:19). His love for you is more than you can comprehend (Ephesians 3). This is why the gospel is such profoundly good news. Any other gospel is simply telling you to be a better person to win God’s favor. It’s just not true.

 

An Icy Little Word

I love the icicles forming all over the neighborhood today. I even the love the very word icicle. It’s an icy, dangling sort of word.

Icicles form as snow melts–only to freeze upon its descent. It’s an almost / not yet kind of winter object. I marvel at the various icicle shapes along the walk. I love imagining the houses like mouths now with giant icicle teeth.

I love seeing children use the icicles they find as lollipops, swords, or something to throw against the pavement to see the shards of ice scatter like diamonds.

Icicles!

A Generous Life

Today I thought about living a more generous life. It’s a beautiful way to live. It’s the best way to live. It’s profoundly biblical.

Yet I find myself more protective than ever of my time, my comforts, and my possessions during COVID. I’d rather spend the day with my own cozy schedule than give of myself because it seems like work. But what if it’s not work, and I’m thinking about generosity all wrong?

What if living a generous life is actually the pathway to more energy, more purpose, and more abundance? We know this. We know this from Jesus’ words that “it is more blessed to give than receive” (Acts 20:35) and the prophet Isaiah who tells us the blessing of “spending ourselves” on behalf of others (Isaiah 58).

So I start to look for ways to live a more generous life. It’s exciting to ask the Lord how to “spend myself” today on behalf of others. The answers come quickly: a struggling writer wanting a personal phone call; a daughter needing something for college from my wardrobe; two friends seeking fellowship today; other writers asking for feedback; and a husband needing early morning help shoveling snow. And it’s not even lunchtime! How great it feels to take my eyes off of myself and my own comfort today.

 

 

The Snow Shoveling Strategy

Our neighbors discuss our snow shoveling strategy. It’s what you do in the winter in Pennsylvania.

Our strategy involves shoveling several times a day during the storm and not waiting till the snow stops falling. Obviously, we debate this. Every neighbor has their own opinion and their own good strategy. We judge not.

But when you try to shovel a foot of snow or more, your arms and back and knees will ache from the weight of the snow. It feels like more work in the end. But when you shovel several times–managing only a few inches of fluffy white snow–it’s no big deal. It’s actually easy.

We shoveled a few inches last night and six inches or so this morning by 7:00 AM. I loved the work of it. I loved returning to the kitchen’s offerings of hot coffee and apple-oatmeal. Now, I’ll shovel again this afternoon. It looks like we have another few inches of soft, beautiful snow.

Leaning into Winter

My neighbor from Denmark tells us to “lean into winter” as we discuss the coming snowstorm. He’s already snuggled into his warm, fire-lit kitchen and making homemade donuts for us. He’s the same neighbor who tells us “winter is the warmest season.” He’s probably already been cross-country skiing through the neighborhood.

I think about leaning in.

I’ve been pushing against. I’ve been waiting for springtime.

Leaning in: to the cold, the dark, and the empty. Leaning in: to the icy days, longer nights. What if I didn’t resist it? What if this season was it–the thing I receive with all its wonder and beauty? What if I didn’t wish it away and long for spring? I’ve been training for this for 10 years at Live with Flair. There’s abundant bounty here. And it’s unique to this season.

I lean in: to bundled walks, blankets and books, hot tea with fresh donuts, empty landscapes ripe for creativity, gentle music, candlelight, warm soups, and long prayers.

Lean in to winter. Lean in to whatever is here now.

4 Ways to Move Forward with Wisdom for February

Lately I’m thinking of a few pieces of wisdom to guide February’s choices:

Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should. Jesus said “no” to certain tasks often (Mark 1:35-38). Jesus also followed the exact instructions of the Father and did not go beyond this (John 14:31).Lots of activity isn’t the same as bearing eternal fruit for God’s kingdom. We’re told in John 15 to abide with Him because apart from Jesus we “can do nothing.”Our educated, strategic, and humanly good plans don’t replace the wisdom of the Holy Spirit. We’re told in Proverbs 3 to “trust in the Lord” and “lean not on [our] own understanding.”If we’ve gone ahead of God in January–perhaps with unwise choices or alliances–we can pray that God “releases [our] foot from the snare” (Psalm 25:15), that we can live free from condemnation (Romans 8:1), and that God would mercifully make “all things work for good” (even our mistakes). 

I pray that we spend our weekend praying for wisdom for February.

The Winter Windowsill Garden

Growing things indoors in winter makes me so happy. I love the fresh basil in particular since I’ll harvest a few leaves for our stuffed spinach shells tonight. Having windowsill basil in the winter means you always have fresh basil for pizza toppings, in pasta, or on sandwiches.

I have the orchid and the growing plumcot plant, too!

 

A Great Prayer for You and Others

I love Psalm 141:3-4. It’s an odd prayer to pray when you’re dealing with all the things David dealt with. In fact, if you notice how this psalm begins, David says this:

O Lord, I call to you: come quickly to me. Hear my voice when I call to you. 

Doesn’t it sound so urgent? Doesn’t it sound so desperate? Naturally, I wonder what David will ask for as he lifts his hands up to the Lord. Here’s what he requests in this urgent time of need:

Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips. Let not my heart be drawn to what is evil, to take part in wicked deeds. . .

I consider how many of our struggles and problems have stemmed from our words we spoke that we wish we could take back. I consider how much pain we’ve endured in our life by being drawn away to sin. David knows this. He knows the danger of his own mouth and his own desires, and he prays a deeply wise prayer.

Guard my words. Guard my heart. Help me say the right things and want the right things.

Guard my words. Guard my heart. Help me say the right things and want the right things. David's basic heart cry in Psalm 141:3-4--a wise and timely prayer.
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A Gift of Creating and Teaching

In Exodus 35, we learn something amazing about God. He clearly gives a special gift of creativity and teaching. How wonderful! We read about Bezalel and Oholiab this:

Then Moses said to the Israelites, “See, the Lord has chosen Bezalel son of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah, and he has filled him with the Spirit of God, with wisdom, with understanding, with knowledge and with all kinds of skills— to make artistic designs for work in gold, silver and bronze,  to cut and set stones, to work in wood and to engage in all kinds of artistic crafts. And he has given both him and Oholiab son of Ahisamak, of the tribe of Dan, the ability to teach others.”

I love how Moses points out the gifting in these men–creativity and teaching. Don’t you love that God gives gifts like this? Don’t you love that God can fill someone with His Spirit like this?

 

It’s a Snow Day!

I love that our school district allowed for a real snow day today–even for the students who learn remotely. When we received the alert of closed schools because of the fresh layer of ice outside, life felt a little normal. It felt like it did in past years–before everyone learned on Zoom, before nobody stopped gathering, and before we even owned face masks. Once, a long time ago, we all went to school and we bantered excitedly at dinner that we just might have a snow day the next day.

Today was that day, and it felt like old times.