Jen Naumann's Blog, page 5

Book Review: Horns

At first Ig thought the horns were a hallucination, the product of a mind damaged by rage and grief. He had spent the last year in a lonely, private purgatory, following the death of his beloved, Merrin Williams, who was raped and murdered under inexplicable circumstances. A mental breakdown would have been the most natural thing in the world. But there was nothing natural about the horns, which were all too real.
Once the righteous Ig had enjoyed the life of the blessed: born into privilege, the second son of a renowned musician and younger brother of a rising late-night TV star, he had security, wealth, and a place in his community. Ig had it all, and more—he had Merrin and a love founded on shared daydreams, mutual daring, and unlikely midsummer magic.
But Merrin's death damned all that. The only suspect in the crime, Ig was never charged or tried. And he was never cleared. In the court of public opinion in Gideon, New Hampshire, Ig is and always will be guilty because his rich and connected parents pulled strings to make the investigation go away. Nothing Ig can do, nothing he can say, matters. Everyone, it seems, including God, has abandoned him. Everyone, that is, but the devil inside. . . .

Now Ig is possessed of a terrible new power to go with his terrible new look—a macabre talent he intends to use to find the monster who killed Merrin and destroyed his life. Being good and praying for the best got him nowhere. It's time for a little revenge. . . . It's time the devil had his due. . .
**Before I start my review of this book, I just want to make it clear that this is not a young adult book, and is intended for mature adults. Joe Hill is Stephen King's son, and this book reads much like a SK book with a ton of vulgarity, and sexual situations. While I try to keep my books mostly YA, I know I have may fans who are of legal age and enjoy paranormal reads outside of the genre. Granted I was reading Stephen King by 10, but still...**
I really wanted to like this book, especially knowing it was recently made into a movie starring Daniel Radcliffe. The beginning started out strong with a great premise, and I could've sworn I was reading a book written by the author's father. But before long, I discovered Joe Hill's story telling skills aren't as masterful as it failed to keep my interest. The concept of waking with a pair of horns was pushed to the side as the protagonist went into hiding, and reflected on events of the past. Mid-way through I considered shelving it since I really didn't care what happened to any of the characters.
Still, I continued to plow through, knowing the story must have some redeeming qualities if it was opted for the big screen. I kept hoping to be surprised by some genius twist that never came. The ending didn't do much for me, and was actually rather predictable. The story jumps around from present to past so many times, it made my head spin. Maybe if we had first heard Ig's whole story before he woke with horns, it would've been more engaging. But the book was divided into more of a horror story in the beginning, morphing into a murder mystery toward the end.
Sadly, I feel this one only earned three bloodied high-fives. I still may give Joe Hill another chance, because I hear good things.

Joseph Hillstrom King (born 1972) is an American writer of fiction, writing under the pen name of Joe Hill. Hill is the the second child of authors Stephen King and Tabitha King. His younger brother Owen King is also a writer. He has three children. Hill chose to use an abbreviated form of his given name (a reference to executed labor leader Joe Hill, for whom he was named) in 1997, out of a desire to succeed based solely on his own merits instead of as the son of Stephen King. After achieving a degree of independent success, Hill publicly confirmed his identity in 2007 after an article the previous year in Variety broke his cover (although online speculation about Hill's family background had been appearing since 2005).

Book Review: The Hallowed Ones

Katie is on the verge of her Rumspringa, the time in Amish life when teenagers can get a taste of the real world. But the real world comes to her in this dystopian tale with a philosophical bent. Rumors of massive unrest on the “Outside” abound. Something murderous is out there. Amish elders make a rule: No one goes outside, and no outsiders come in. But when Katie finds a gravely injured young man, she can’t leave him to die. She smuggles him into her family’s barn—at what cost to her community? The suspense of this vividly told, truly horrific thriller will keep the pages turning.

This was another book recommended by Literary Agent Bree Ogden. I wasn't sure about it at first, and put it off thinking I would connect with Katie, a girl from an Amish community. But I found it interesting to read about this world I really knew nothing about, and how differently she handled things based on her religious beliefs. The story starts just as Katie is preparing for her Rumspringa—a time when the Amish are allowed to visit the "outside world" before they become baptized into their faith and cannot do anything to disobey their community's laws. She's looking forward to this experience with her friend/sometimes-boyfriend Elijah, until they realize there's something very wrong going on in the outside world.

At times I really wanted to strangle Katie for her naivety, but she ended up redeeming herself later on. She's got the biggest heart of anyone in her community, and feels compelled to do what's right, whether or not the Elders in charge approve. It was so interesting to hear about the Amish way—every detail of their community was told so well it's as if the author had actually lived there. There was just the right mix of horror embedded into the story, and these "vampires" are just my type ("holy crap, run for your lives" rather than "sparkling and sexy"). I was completely blown away by just how much I enjoyed the story, considering I was prepared to be bored by the religious aspects before I even picked it up. But Laura Bickle does a wonderful job of holding your interest, making it another hard one to put it down.


This book earns 5 bloody high-fives! I was actually glad I put it off so long as the sequel was released a mere week after I finished. Stay tuned for my review on her second book (spoiler alert: it was just as awesome).

Laura Bickle has worked in the unholy trinity of politics, criminology, and technology for several years. She and her chief muse live in the Midwest, owned by four mostly-reformed feral cats.

Her work has been published in Midnight Times, Down in the Cellar, MicroHorror, Theaker's Quarterly Fiction, Ballista, Byzarium, New Myths, a Blog-O-Novella office soap opera for True Office Confessions, and Aoife's Kiss. Her most recent project is the Embers series of urban fantasy novels for Juno-Pocket Books.

Adventures in Farming

This post is going to go a bit off the usual path, but not far. At times I think farming life is so odd that it very well could be considered something paranormal.

When I tell people I'm a farmer's wife, I often get a bug-eyed stare in return, or a round of laughter. It doesn't offend me by any means as most days I find it rather amusing myself. Even though I was raised in a small farming community (but lived in the heart of town), both sets of my grandparents were farmers when I was little, and I've been with the same farmer for over twenty years, the actual act of farming is still pretty much foreign to me. And I guess you could say I'm a girly girl. YES spiders make me scream and jump a mile, YES I hate having dirt under my fingernails, YES I hate being covered in sweat unless I'm working out, and YES I'd rather be shopping than doing any outdoor activities. And this farm girl prefers hard rock and rap over country western any day. But I know how to drive a tractor, and I own a pair of expensive work boots, so I'm slowly adapting.

For many years I kept my own full-time desk job while trying to juggle four children, so the farming was for my husband to worry about. Now that I work at home doing writing, photography, book cover design, and just about any other odd job I can get my hands on while trying to get the two kids still at home to their activities, my husband has been asking me to help more around the farm. Today's adventure involved cleaning out corn bins. During a heat advisory.

As I walk you through this, keep in mind that I have a healthy level of claustrophobia.

First I had to put on this annoying mask to keep out harmful corn dust that can do a real number on your lungs if you don't (this is coming from the same person who has panic attacks when wearing a snorkeling mask). It basically feels like sticking a heavy, damp blanket on your face. Not only does it make breathing normally a difficult task, but it produces buckets of sweat. I kept thinking if I didn't get to breathe in fresh air soon, I was going to pass out, or drown in my own fluids. I even wondered if my will is up to date.
Once the cotton Vader mask was in place, it was time to get inside the bin. To do so you have to enter through a very small opening that would make Malibu Barbie squeamish (middle of the three spaces on the left). While I'm considered "average" for my height and size, I must've stared at this hole for a good minute before I convinced myself that I'd fit. Once I made it in, my work boots immediately filled with corn. I soon learned that not stopping to empty them every time this happens is the equivalent of stepping on Legos barefoot.


The main objective in cleaning out a bin is to keep pushing the auger into the corn, keeping in mind that it spins fast enough to rip off your arm, foot, or any other appendage you would accidentally touch it with. You do not want to get a pair of jeans caught in that baby. I almost had a heart attack when the broom slipped from my hands and nearly dropped into the spinning metal disk of death.
Of course the auger doesn't pick up every grain, so you have to constantly shovel and sweep the stuff that's left behind while remembering not to touch the side of the bin as it feels as hot as a blazing fire from the intense sun beating on it from the outside. Plus I'm watching the mound of corn three times of height of me as it tumbles down the giant golden hill, wondering if it all kept coming if I would eventually suffocate to death. My husband assured me this wouldn't happen, and proceeded to tell me our 11-year-old son was in there with him the other day, climbing the ladder on the side and jumping into the pile.
What.
In the end, I walked away from today's adventure with two thoughts: (1) I'm way more excited about my career as a writer than I am a farmer's wife, and (2) in today's technology where tractors and combines are able to drive themselves, why in the hell haven't they invented a better way to empty out grain bins (i.e. one that crushes itself like a pop can until every last kernel is gone)?

My Next Project

Happy Friday, everyone!

I have a confession to make—I'm dragging my feet on my next project. Technically, I have five in the works. I've mentioned before it's a horrible habit for writers to take on as it's the best way to get nothing done fast. I'm pretty sure this is a form of self-sabotage. I could blame it on the transition between summer—probably my slowest writing season of the year—and the madness of fall (kids back in school and sports, farmer husband preparing for his busiest season of the year), but I know that's just an excuse to hide behind. The real reason? I'm just a big chicken. I'm indecisive. I'm terrified of sequels. I'm scared of rejection. Take your pick.

I know I need to start pumping out sequels, especially to Shymers and The Day Zombies Ruined My Perfectly Boring Life as I really left those poor characters hanging. When I first started writing, I was a fly by the seat of my pants kind of girl. I wrote stories with no ending in mind, and no general outline to follow. This made for a lot of work in subsequent drafts (bless my editors' hearts), but it felt like the best way to let my creativity flow. While I still don't use an outline as that feels way too much like homework, I at least have the eventual goal of the characters laid out, and try to give a satisfying ending. And I can promise you, I'll never leave a book open-ended ever again. You'll sooner see me sky-diving or performing open-heart surgery.

Whenever I really enjoy the first book in a series, it seems the second almost never has the same magic, unless we're talking about Harry Potter (pun intended). And I HATE the formula of the second book that always seems to go like this: boy and girl who fell in love in book #1 are separated in book #2 and spend most of the time either trying to get back to each other, or mourning the loss of their love. I spent all of book #1 wanting them to finally hook up and most definitely don't want them to be apart again! So a big part of me is anxious in fighting in the formula. Another part of me is just worried it won't be as good as the first, and that I won't find the same "voice" of the character.

I've almost finished the first draft of the sequel to The Day Zombies Ruined My Perfectly Boring Life, and have my fingers crossed that it will be out by Halloween. Will Shymers be next? I hope all my fears, ADD, and self-doubt will behave enough to make it happen. Besides, as J.R. Tolkien wrote in The Return of the King, “The whole thing is quite hopeless, so it's no good worrying about tomorrow. It probably won't come.”

On that happy note, hope everyone has a fun weekend.

Kindle Matchbook: Amazon Has Done it Again

We all know Amazon is constantly changing the way we buy things, and that's why they're so crazy successful. They're the reason I don't have to get out of my pajamas to go shopping, or spend $50 in gas to go to a decent shopping mall in my hick little area of the world. They're the reason I'm able to publish my books at a decent price, and make them available to people on the other side of the world. They're the reason I've become hooked on so many different TV series, and therefore don't have much of a social life. And today they announced Kindle Matchbook, a program in which authors will be selling their digital books at a discounted price to anyone who has already purchased the paper version.
I see this as a great opportunity for both readers AND writers alike. As a reader, I'm constantly purchasing the kindle versions as I have ZERO patience. Even with second day service through Amazon Prime, if I get excited about reading something, I want it now. But I also have a very large collection on my bookshelf, and I like to add anything that I'm pretty sure I'll read again. And if it's something I end up absolutely loving, I HAVE to have a copy so I can put it up on the shelf, and fawn over it daily. But the times I do buy just the hard copy of something, every time I wish I had the digital copy, too, so I can read it in the dark when my husband is snoring at my side, or when we're on a trip and, of course, I've forgotten the book at home.
Although my digital books are already sold at a low price, and therefore I likely won't participate in this program, big time authors who sometimes charge up to $9 for a digital copy will probably make a little extra money on those of us who want both versions, but can't necessarily afford to buy both at full price. It will be interesting to see what big-named authors choose to jump on this bandwagon. It's just as they say, the publishing industry is changing. With mega companies like Amazon leading the way, you just never know what new idea will influence the way we read next.

Book Review: Anna Dressed in Blood

Cas Lowood, armed with his late father's athame knife, kills ghosts. In Thunder Bay, Anna, forever 16, drips blood on her white dress from throat slit in 1958, and rips apart anyone who enters her house - except Cas. He makes new friends - high school queen Carmel, jock Will, admiring nerd Thomas and Tom's voodoo grandpa Morfran - to fight this demon.
This April I attended a writing conference in which Literary Agent Bree Ogden listed off dozens of YA books she recommended for great style and original story lines. Being a crazy reading fanatic, I added most of them to my Amazon shopping cart as she named them. Some of the books were pretty decent, while some of them barged their way onto my bookshelf of favorites. Anna Dressed in Blood made its way right to the tippy top.
The story follows Cas Lowood, teenage ghost hunter, and his witch mother as they move to a new town after getting a tip from an anonymous "friend" of this ghost named Anna. Cas is a pretty laid back guy who knows he will only be in his new high school for a short while, and he knows how to manipulate people to get what he wants. When he sets his sights on the school queen bee and a quiet nerd, he finds unexpected friendships, as well as fellow ghost hunters. While at first I couldn't get over the idea that the ghosts in this story go corporeal, once I was able to accept it, I couldn't stop reading. There's so much more to the story than just a boy hunting ghosts, and it continues on to its sequel, Girl of Nightmares (I will review another time).
Reasons I love Anna Dressed in Blood:
1. Cas is an amazing character, humorous and brave, plus it was quite refreshing to read from a guy's point of view.
2. The horror scenes were executed extremely well. On one of Kendare's books there was a quote that read "Stephen King better watch his back". At first I thought that was blasphemy as SK is one of my favorite authors, but after reading Kendare's writing, I understand.
3. The unexpected grouping of loner ghost hunter, queen bee and nerd made for a fun, interesting group.
4. The humor. I've said it a hundred times, but when something involves horror and humor, it wins me over every time.
5. Kendare Blake grew up in Minnesota. I'm always pleased to see one of my own break free and do well in society.
6. The twist near the end. Although I had an inkling that something else was going on, I never would've guessed something that creepy was going to happen.
7. THE COVER! I almost never read a book if I'm not drawn in by its cover.
8. And of course, the writing. A story is ten times better when the writing is the best of the best, and Kendare's prose is definitely first rate!
Anna Dressed in Blood certainly earned its 5 bloody high-fives rating!
Now excuse me while I fangirl and prepare to attend Kendare's book signing in October...

Kendare Blake grew up in the small city of Cambridge, Minnesota. She is a graduate of Ithaca College, in Ithaca, New York and received a Master of Arts in Creative Writing from Middlesex University in London, England. She loves to travel, is an advocate for animals, and cheats a lot when she plays Final Fantasy. Adopted from South Korea at the age of seven months, she arrived with the following instruction: "Feed her chocolate." Though not medically advisable, she and her parents are eternally grateful for this advice.

Movie Review: The Mortal Instruments

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I've been looking forward to this film coming out since at least last December, and finally got a chance to see it last night.

When I pick apart all the different aspects of the movie, it had everything going awesomely well for it—great acting, great cinematography, great special effects. There were so many scenes that were amazing as well as action-packed. I loved the creepiness of the demons (the witch and dog especially), loved Lily Collins as Clary (such a gorgeous girl and great actress), loved Simon (lovable guy), loved the City of Bones and the wicked scary guys there, loved the demons forming from ravens, loved the look and feel of the institute building. Wasn't as fond of Jace (although I really wanted to be), Alec (came across as blah), Magnus (acting felt stiff), Hodge (but maybe it was just the character) or Valentine (the dreads felt too cartoonish). I especially disliked the obnoxious tattoos on everyone as they were too bold and fake looking (and I have a lot of tattoos, so I'm not prejudice in any fashion). The major "ick factor" at the end was definitely my least favorite part.

I can't really comment on the book versus the movie as the furthest I ever got with the book was the scene in which the vampires fight the werewolves. The book really couldn't hold my interest, no matter how many times I gave it a chance (and I believe I tried at least three times).

The verdict? It was "good". Not great or spectacular, as I so desperately wanted it to be. The whole reason Valentine wanted the cup was a bit confusing, especially to my poor friend who had no knowledge of the story before I dragged her along to see this. She was laughing out loud at parts that weren't meant to be comedic. I often know how good a movie is by deciding if I want to own it for my personal collection, and this one I will likely pass on. I think it all comes down to the underlying story still not able to hold my interest. I know some of my fans and friends are really into this series, and I really can't blame you, but it just didn't excite me the way I was hoping.

The Culture of Vampires

In my lifetime, I've seen vampires portrayed in many different lights—sexy, terrifying, humorous, and even...well...sparkly and often brooding. I've shamefully admitted that I fell for the whole Twilight thing, but in my defense it was the hopeless love story that pulled me in (I'm a sucker for those). The movies do bother me as I find them a bit campy, and not at all the way I like my vampires (think hissing on the baseball field in the first movie).

Because of Twilight and its sickening over-exposure/bad wrap, I haven't touched the vampire genre as an author. I have friends who have, however, and do extremely well despite the bad reputation that seems to have tarnished vamps as a species (check out Emma Meade and L. H. Cosway).

But there are some who make an appearance in my newest novel, Paranormal Keepers. Only mine won't be the kind you would fall in love with. My reasoning behind this is the slew of vampire movies I adore, all in which vampires are not of the romantic and sparkling variety. And that's just how I like them.

In the spirit of vampire awesomeness that does NOT include Twilight, I'm counting down my top ten favorite blood sucking movies:
#10 - Blade II Okay, I'll admit, this one only made the list because Norman Reedus was in it. So sue me. Still, the vampires and special effects were pretty decent.#9 - Van Helsing I only saw this one once, but think they portrayed vampires with proper respect. Plus it's fun to watch Kate Beckinsale kick some ass.#8 - Daybreakers Creepy vampires combined with a rather original premise—in the future nearly everyone has turned into a vampire no thanks to some strange disease—made this a pretty good film. Ethan Hawke and Willem Dafoe are always entertaining to watch.#7 - Bram Stoker's Dracula This one was borderline campy, but I still enjoyed Winona Ryder and Gary Oldman's characters. The vampires were only mildly scary, though there were some oddly disturbing scenes.#6 - I Am Legend I have a love-hate relationship with this movie. Although Will Smith did a good job of pulling off most of what could be considered a one-man show, the ending was another one to leave me extremely frustrated. I did enjoy the crazy, methed-up vampires, although I didn't know what exactly he was dealing with until after I saw the movie and read reviews.#5 - Let the Right One In This story, although sick and pretty twisted, was also one of my favorite books. The movie wasn't quite as good (they almost never are), but still managed to keep the main points of the tale that made it so intriguing. And the vampire in this story was definitely creepy!#4 - 30 Days of Night This was one of those horror movies that really freaked the crap out of me, and made me hide under a blanket, but was so crazy good I couldn't stop watching. THIS is how vampires really should be—so damn creepy you wouldn't even CONSIDER even making out with one. I wasn't very happy with the ending, however, as it was one of the first to start the trend of really unhappy endings that leaves you unsatisfied.#3 - Interview With a Vampire I'm a sucker for pretty much anything involving Brad Pitt, but this movie was more than just a couple of pretty boys walking around in bad makeup. Though the vampires weren't really that terrifying, the story of little Kirsten Dunst's character and Brad Pitt's character's (non-creepy) love for her made the film. I've read many times that Brad was not proud of this film, and almost quit because it was so depressing to film, but it still remains one of my all-time favorites.
#2 - Lost Boys I was in junior high when this came out, and actually fell in love because of Corey Haim, who was so dang cute in it. But the older I became, the more I loved the movie just for it's awesomeness (and Jason Patric, too). There's a bit of humor involved, but most of its just glamorous (for the '80s anyway), and fun.
#1 - Fright Night This remake just came out in 2011, and I was hooked from the very first time I saw it. I'm a sucker for anything that can tastefully pull off both humor and horror in the same story, and this movie does it well. The vampire was hot, but disturbingly creepy (especially in the road scene), and I became a big fan of Anton Yelchin's acting. It still, however, remains the only movie in which I liked Collin Farrell. But it was so awesome that it beat out my reigning champion (Lost Boys) of over 20 years.

Researching Paranormal Creatures

My favorite part in writing paranormal has always been doing the occasional research, since the subject is something I really get into. It's also a great excuse to re-watch some of my favorite television shows and movies to get the idea generator cooking, even though I always try to break away from "traditional" beliefs on anything paranormal.
In my newest book, Paranormal Keepers, my main character has been obsessed with paranormal creatures her whole life, and swears they're real, even though she doesn't have any proof. In preparation, I've been studying legendary creatures and witchcraft on the internet as well as buying "non-fiction" books. I was surprised to discover that I hadn't heard of some of these monsters before. To give you an idea, here's a list from wikipedia:
Adlay
Basilisk, Banshee, Boggart, Balaur, Biscione
Chimera, Centaur, Cyclops, Cockatrice, Cambion, Chokoy
Demon, Dhampir, Doppelgänger, Dragon, Drider, Dryad, Dwarf, Dybbuk, Demigod
Elf, Elve, Ent, Espon
Fairy, Faun, Feilong
Giant, Ghost, Ghoul, Genie, Goblin, God, Gorgon, Gryphon, Gremlin, Gnome, Grindylow, Golem
Harpy, Hydra, Hippogriff, Hobbit, Hinkypunk
Imp, Incubus
Jinn
Kraken, Kappa, Kitsune, Kumiho, Kobaloi
Leprechaun, Lycan, Lindworm
Mermaid, Merman, Manticore, Minotaur, Morrovol, Mummy, Moroi
Nymph, Nephilim
Orc, Ogre, Opinicus, Onocentaur
Phoenix, Pixie, Pukwudgie, Pixiu
Sylph, Siren, Shape-shifter, Succubus, Satyr, Salamander, Seraph, Shade, Strigoi, Shinigami
Troll, Taraxipi, Telekhine, Tikbalang, Tengu
Unicorn, Upir, Undine
Vampire, Vetala, Volkodlak, Vircolac
Werewolf, Werecat, Werepanther, Wendigo, Wraith, Wyvern, Wemic, witch, wiccan
Yeti, Yūrei, Yali
Zilant, Zombie
Although the Mothman didn't make this list, he makes an appearance in my new story. And Mothman Prophecies is one of my favorite movies, so I'm excited that I have a reason to watch it again.
Most of my creatures will have a different spin on the legends, mostly because I like to be different, and since we don't have solid proof of these things we don't really know what they actually look like or what they can do. But I swear to you, none of my creatures will be all cuddly, and none of them will sparkle.
What are some of your favorite paranormal movies involving some of these creatures?

Teen Violence

Shamefully, I don't watch the news much anymore. Yes it makes me ignorant, but it also helps me sleep a little better at night. After working for a few years at a courthouse, I became extremely burned out by daily crime, hatred, and violence. So now I only hear about the really big stuff from Twitter and Facebook. Today I got wind of Christopher Lane, the Australian baseball player here visiting his girlfriend's family who was randomly shot down by "bored" teens, and now Delbert Belton, an 88-year-old WWII vet who was beat to death by a couple of teens.
WHAT IS GOING ON IN OUR COUNTRY?
Seriously, has senseless violence in the United States always been this bad, only they didn't hear about it in the old days before Internet, or are we collectively screwed as a nation because of gruesome torture movies, easy access to firearms, and violent video games? Is this a result of telling our children they can't be spanked, and giving them too many choices? Maybe I'm being naive because I was young at the time, but I don't remember the 80s and 90s being quite this bad.
Sorry for the rant, but it was something I had to get off my chest. My heart goes out to the families of these two victims, and I hope their murderers get what they deserve. I also hope we will have a brighter future as a nation, because so far, things aren't looking so good.
What do you think? Is there something more we can do to stop these ridiculous murders from happening?