Warren Talbot's Blog, page 29

Choosing Happiness When Things Don’t Go Your Way

It would be really easy to be happy all the time if things always went your way. You’d never have to create a plan B, work through an obstacle, or deal with disappointment.

But that’s not real life, so you have to come up with a plan for happiness that also includes detours, road blocks, and loss.

We’ve recently started hosting TED Talk nights after the suggestion of our new friends Bessie and Kyle. Three TED Talks are chosen for the evening and then attendees talk about each one after watching. It’s a great alternative to a book club or dinner party for busy people because it requires no real preparation and introduces the kind of topics that don’t often make it into regular conversation.

The TED Talk below is about how to “synthesize” your happiness, or how you’re wired to be happy based on outcome, not initial goal.  Choosing happiness is an option that is supported by your brain. This information supports what I’ve always believed about adaptability being my greatest asset in leading a happy life.

It also confirms my belief that what you think you want is sometimes not what you actually want, and only by moving toward your goals can you discover the side paths that lead to your true calling.

You can watch this powerful TED Talk with Dan Gilbert below (click here if you don’t see the video).

And if you want to start having these kinds of conversations with your friends, we can highly recommend a night of TED Talks. Add food and drink, and you’ve got the makings of a powerful conversation that will last far into the night.

Discover our favorite TED Talk of the week in the Link Love section of the Sunday emails. (What? You’re not getting them? Click here to join the Inner Circle, and we’ll “see” you on Sunday morning.)

Podcast Episode #4: Overcoming Obstacles

An Action Plan for Dreamers is a weekly 20-minute podcast where we provide practical and actionable advice about what it takes to create the life you crave. It’s short enough to listen on your commute or coffee break, but long enough to contain 3-5 practical steps you can take to make your dream life a little bit closer. Here is a link to our past episodes.

Show Notes

When marching towards the life you crave you are going to encounter obstacles and roadblocks. In fact, you’re probably going to find your first one about 3.2 seconds after you decide to go after your dream. The secret to success is knowing you will have obstacles and creating a plan to deal with them before they jump out in front of you. When you have  a plan in place, you’ll continue moving forward toward your dream no matter what comes up, and that’s the key to getting to the finish line.

This week we are joined by Dixie Gillaspie, author of the book, Just Blow it Up: Firepower for Living an Unlimited Life. We discuss how to overcome the challenges and obstacles that stand in the way of living the life you crave. You’ll also learn the 4 questions to ask yourself when confronted with an obstacle.

Your Action Plan steps:

Dream Big, Thing Small. What can you do today that will move you closer to your dream?
Check your premise. Don’t say “can’t” without understanding why. Explore deeper why you “can’t” do something and if it is truly possible.


Let go of the idea of perfection. Just get it out there.

Sponsor Love:

Once again we’re pleased to have Trusted Housesitters, the world’s most comprehensive and fastest growing house sitting website,  as our sponsor this week. Use the discount code “married” when you sign up to get a 25% discount on membership.

Coming Up

Next week we’ll be talking about streamlining your life by getting rid of the excess. When you’re weighted down, it’s pretty hard to soar high enough to reach your dreams. And we’ll have the first of our Dream Makeovers (we have several recorded already, and you are going to LOVE these!)

Until next time, remember to take the first step and keep on moving.

Click here to subscribe via iTunes to get new episodes as soon as they publish or you can catch the show every Tuesday right here on the website. If you are enjoying these podcasts, please do us a favor and review the podcast on iTunes (simply click the stars for your rating and leave a brief comment about why you like it). Your review helps others to find the show in the very crowded iTunes world. Thanks for your help!

Build Fences, Not Walls: Your Guide to a Healthier Relationship

Editor’s Note: This is part of an occasional series titled, The 24/7 Relationship: Lessons on Life, Love, and Laughter. If you have a relationship topic you’d like us to write about, email us. And if you want a bigger sneak peek into how our habits create the life we live, be sure to sign up for our weekly Sunday email. 

Good fences make good neighbors, and nowhere is this more true than in your romantic relationship. But many people hide their stance on a subject, or at least soften it, to be more likable at the start of a new relationship.

“I like hanging out with your family every weekend.”

“Your vegetarianism is no problem for me. I hardly eat meat now anyway.”

“Sure, we can keep the lights off.”

Over time, it becomes too difficult to move that boundary back to where it feels right for you, whether you’re talking about how much time to spend with your in-laws or how much sex you want to have. And it’s confusing to your partner, who thought you liked things this way because you always went along with it before.

Perversely, you make your life less desirable in order to be more desirable to your partner.

Over the years, this can get messy and you might eventually complain that the love of your life doesn’t really know you at all. But if you aren’t stating your boundaries and desires up front, how could your beau know?

The Difference Between Walls and Fences

Walls are built to keep people out, figuratively and literally. You can’t see inside someone’s house unless they invite you in, and even within a home each room is blocked from view unless you enter it. When you hide something from someone, you are walling it off.

Fences, on the other hand, are built to maintain a peaceful coexistence with others. You can usually see right through a fence because it is simply a demarcation of the boundaries of your property. It’s a public statement on where you stand on issues.

Your fence keeps soul sucking people who would disrespect you on the outside. They will go find an unfenced property to do their damage, not willing to expend the effort to climb yours (soul suckers are nothing if not lazy).

Fences are also easily moved or enlarged when a property is expanded, unlike walls which mean a reconfiguration of the entire house.

Walls destroy a relationship. Fences make it stronger.

Big difference.

How to Determine Your Boundaries
1: Know Where You Stand

The key to setting your boundaries lies first in identifying them yourself. If you don’t know what you want, how in the heck will anyone else? This is no time for guessing games, with yourself or with your mate. And be very, very careful of the “I don’t really care” mentality because in truth you really do, about everything. You just don’t care about making a fuss right now.

It’s important that people should know what you stand for. It’s equally important that they should know what you won’t stand for. ~ Mary H. Waldrip

So give a damn now and you won’t be damning your partner in the future. Think about how you really feel about every new situation or question and answer honestly and thoughtfully. Because what you say and do now determines what kind of life you’ll be living later.

2: Identify Boundary Breaches

Sometimes it takes a while for a message to sink in. It’s not usually because your one true love doesn’t care. Your partner just needs firm reminders of your boundaries. You can do this gently at first with a pretty white picket fence surrounded by flowers and escalate all the way up to barbed wire and electricity if you need to (though at that point it might just be better to ask them to move).

Everyone pushes a falling fence. ~ Chinese proverb

Demanding the respect you deserve takes diligence on your part. Again, most of the time this is a simple and clear reminder to people.

No, I don’t want to do that.

It’s not okay for you to talk to me this way.

You said you would do this and I depend on you to honor your word.

When you allow your boundaries to be breached again and again you’re telling the other person it’s okay to be late, to not follow through on their commitments, or to otherwise disregard your feelings. But when people know there are consequences – “I’ll wait for you for 10 minutes, but if you’re later than that I’ll leave without you” – they can no longer breach with impunity.

You cannot control the actions of others, but you can certainly control your own.

3: Survey your property

When you live a life of experience, your boundaries will change because you will. You’ll grow and evolve, and so will many of your preferences. It’s important to regularly survey your boundaries to make sure they still fit. Your requirements for intimacy, communication, social activity, exercise, education, and entertainment will evolve with life and circumstances, and you have to be clear with yourself and your partner when they do.

Don’t ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up. ~ Robert Frost

Continually poking at your own boundaries will make it easier to explain them to others.

How to Establish Boundaries

Know where you stand on the important issues. When you know for sure how you want to be treated, it makes it easier to clearly state this to another person. Begin by asking yourself every day if you’re okay with what’s going on around you. If not, why? If it’s not clear to you, it won’t be clear to your partner.
State your boundaries along with a consequence. “I understand you are really frustrated at work right now, but I’m not okay with you taking it out on me when you get home. I’m not your enemy here. The next time it happens I’m going to suggest you burn it off at the gym and I’m going to leave the room.” You can’t control the other person’s actions, but you can control your response.
Test your boundaries. As you evolve as a human, your priorities and feelings will change. It’s important to question yourself on a regular basis to make sure the beliefs and ideas you hold are still true. When your boundaries change, it’s time to move your fences and let your partner know.

Laying the groundwork of a successful relationship takes some work, but it is far easier in the long run than relying on mind reading and wild guesses. Unless you’re a Drama Queen, of course.

Editor’s Note: This is part of an occasional series titled, The 24/7 Relationship: Lessons on Life, Love, and Laughter. If you think this would benefit your friends, please share it on your favorite social media network. And if you want a sneak peek into how our habits create the life we live, be sure to sign up for our weekly Sunday email.

Podcast Episode #3: Define Your Dream

An Action Plan for Dreamers is a weekly 20-minute podcast where we interview experts and successful dreamers about what it takes to create the life you crave. It’s short enough to listen on a short drive or your coffee break, but long enough to contain 3-5 practical steps you can take to make your dream a little bit closer.

Click here to subscribe via iTunes to get them as soon as they publish or you can catch the show every Tuesday right here on the website. If you are enjoying these podcasts, please do us a favor and review it on iTunes (simply click the stars for your rating and leave a brief comment about why you like it). Your review helps other people find the show in the very crowded iTunes store. Thanks for your help!

Show Notes

French novelist Victor Hugo said: “Each man should frame life so that at some future hour fact and his dreaming meet.” In this episode we’re going to talk about clarifying your dream so it can become reality – even if it’s really fuzzy right now.

79% of people we surveyed told us that clarifying their dream was “very important” or “critically important” to their happiness. But how do you do it?

In this episode, we talk about the misconception of the “lightning bolt” moment when it all comes together. We go through our own “lightning bolt” moment when we decided to make our big life change and explain exactly how we created the perfect storm in the years prior to make it a possibility. These are the same things you can do every day to make your life open to this flash of insight.

Your Takeaways:

Eliminate what’s not working so you can find what is.
Try new things to both build your confidence in your ability and to quickly discard what you don’t like.
Find a mentor (even if he or she doesn’t know it).

Sponsor Love:

Today’s show sponsor is Trusted Housesitters, the world’s most comprehensive and fastest growing house sitting website. You know how much we love this site because it helps us in our dream of seeing the world on a budget and really absorbing a culture. Use the discount code “married” when you sign up to get a 25% discount on membership.

Coming Up

Next week we’ll be talking about overcoming obstacles with Dixie Gillaspie, author of the upcoming book, Just Blow it Up: Firepower for Living an Unlimited Life. And we’ll have our first Dream Makeover with a reader who needs help. It will be an action-packed show, so don’t miss it.

If you are interested in joining us on one of our podcasts to discuss the obstacles, challenges, and successes as you create the life they crave, send us an email at podcast@marriedwithluggage.com.

Until next time, remember to take the first step and keep on moving.

Podcast #2: Trying New Things

An Action Plan for Dreamers is a weekly 20-minute podcast where we interview experts and successful dreamers about what it takes to create the life you crave. It’s short enough to listen on a short drive or your coffee break, but long enough to contain 3-5 practical steps you can take to make your dream a little bit closer.

Click here to subscribe via iTunes to get them as soon as they publish. We’d love it if you’d leave a us a review on iTunes. It’s your recommendation that helps other people find us, so thank you in advance.

Show Notes

In today’s episode we discuss the importance of trying new things and how it can help you savor time. We are joined by expert Emily Kaufman, The Travel Mom. Emily discusses her quest to try 49 new things before she turned 50 and how it has enhanced her life. Discover how trying new experiences can enhance your life, open your mind, and help to define the life you crave.

Key takeaways from this episode:

New experiences do not need to be huge, start small
Don’t discount how amazing you are and what you can accomplish
Shut up and listen. You can learn from all those around you.

Links from this week’s episode:

Our sponsor: Trusted Housesitters – use the code “married” to save 25% on your subscription
Fearless Living
The Travel Mom Facebook page – check it out for a chance to win a free trip every week

Dream Makeovers

We have had a great response to our call for listeners interested in a Dream Makeover. If you are interested in joining us on one of our podcasts to discuss the obstacles, challenges, and successes as you create the life they crave, send us an email at podcast@marriedwithluggage.com.

Be sure to subscribe to the podcast via iTunes or find the latest episodes here on our website.

Until next time, remember to take the first step and keep on moving.

Coming up next week: Betsy and I discuss the steps to define your dream and how to move forward towards the life you crave.

Podcast Episode #1: Take the First Step

It’s Tuesday, and that  means podcast day. (What, you didn’t know we had a podcast? Sign up to be part of our Inner Circle and you’ll be in the know before everyone else.)

An Action Plan for Dreamers is a weekly 20-minute podcast where we interview experts and successful dreamers about what it takes to create the life you crave. It’s short enough to listen on a short drive or your coffee break, but long enough to contain 3-5 practical steps you can take to make your dream a little bit closer.

You’ll find the episodes every week on the site, or you can subscribe via iTunes to get them as soon as they publish. (And hey, we’d love it if you’d leave a us a review on iTunes. It’s your recommendation that helps other people find us, so thanks in advance.)

Each week we’ll provide a brief set of show notes and links mentioned in the episode. And a special shout out to listener Bessie who tweeted a photo of her notes from the first podcast. Right on!

Show Notes

Today’s episode kicks things off with a startling statistic: 67% of people want to make a change in their lives, but only 8% manage to do it.

In this, our inaugural episode, we introduce our new podcast and the areas we’ll cover each week in 20 minute episodes:

Relationships
Money/Finance
Health & Fitness
Career
Personal Environment
Confidence
Art of the Ask
Peer Pressure

Key takeaways from this episode:

Importance of reducing the time between idea and first action
Small steps every day as opposed to big leaps occasionally
Why over-analysis is a killer to your dreams

Coming up next week: We interview a woman who tried 49 new things in the year before her 50th birthday. She reveals how trying new things is key to confidence. You won’t believe some of the things she did and how her message will impact your life.

Dream Makeovers

Would you like to join us on one of our podcasts? We are looking for readers/listeners interested in a Dream Makeover. We discuss the obstacles, challenges, and successes with individuals going after the life they crave. For details, send us an email at podcast@marriedwithluggage.com.

Be sure to subscribe to the podcast via iTunes or find the latest episodes here on our website.

Until next time, remember to take the first step and keep on moving.

How Your Habits Impact Your Relationship

Editor’s Note: This is the first in an occasional series titled, The 24/7 Relationship: Lessons on Life, Love, and Laughter. If you have a relationship topic you’d like us to write about, email us. And if you want a bigger sneak peek into how our habits create the life we live, be sure to sign up for our weekly Sunday email. 

What you see is what you get.

This was my standard line in relationships after my divorce, and I did it to establish a boundary. “I’m not changing for you.” It was my way of standing firm, not bending to the will of others, and maintaining my identity.

“No, I will not consider an alternative.”

“Yes, I always do things this way.”

“Is there a problem?”

It was a tad bit of overkill in the accept-me-as-I-am department, and it was disastrous for any kind of relationship growth, not to mention personal growth.

When I met Warren, I was coming off another doomed relationship where we both decided not to budge from entrenched positions on opposite sides of the battlefield. It was as successful as you’d imagine – like a zebra hoping to find love in a den of hungry lions – and I began thinking I was just not cut out for love.

(Or maybe I just like zebra meat.)

In reality, I was letting my commitment to my habits erode my chances of a healthy relationship.

Today I’m going to address the 3 types of habit clashes that impact your relationship:

Simple habits that bug you or your mate and can be fairly easily fixed
Moderate ones that can be resolved mutually with a creative workaround
Deal breakers, and why it’s important to call them out up front

An Environment of Change

What happens when you start something new – a job, a move, a hobby, or going after your big dream – is that things change. You are no longer what you were before this new event because your environment is now different. When you refuse to acknowledge this shift in reality with an adjustment to your habits and actions, your ability to succeed is severely challenged.

Your new job won’t work the same as your old job.
Your new health plan requires you to eat and move differently than you did before.
Your new relationship means adjusting to another point of view.

You cannot expect to embark on something new without changing yourself. It doesn’t mean you morph to fit every new environment; that would be counter-productive to your long history of personal growth. But it does mean you  have to examine what you want most and how you have to adjust your attitudes, habits, and actions to make it work.

You aren’t changing so much as you are growing to fit the life you really want.

When Two Worlds Collide

When Warren and I started dating, I was just beginning some heavy work in personal growth. I think Warren would say the same. Together we began the sometimes bumpy transition from two individuals to a couple.

He didn’t like tomatoes or mushrooms and liked having a daily regimen. He neatly rolled his tube of toothpaste from the bottom. He was a confirmed morning person…to the point of singing. To this day he has never needed an alarm clock to wake up on time.

I loved eating a wide variety of foods and craved a more ‘spontaneous’ style of doing things. I squeezed my toothpaste from the middle. I was a night owl who hated alarm clocks and loved naps.

At first we were attracted because of our differences (isn’t that always the way?). But it wasn’t long before reality set in and we had to find a way of reconciling our habits if we wanted to stay together…and we did.

How to Reconcile Your  Habits with Your Partner

First off, the good news: You don’t have to reconcile them all. In fact, this is the most valuable lesson to learn when starting a new relationship of any kind. There are things that bug you, and then there are things that are a dealbreakers.

In between the small stuff and the relationship-killers, there are a whole host of clashes that can be resolved in an easier way.

Habits that Bug You

I slam car doors. It probably comes from driving a 1979 Chevy Nova as my first car. This car was HEAVY, and it was a clunker. I had to reach out to grab the door and pull it hard to shut. The habit of slamming the car door stayed with me even after I had more modern cars that didn’t require the herculean effort to close.

This drove Warren crazy, and it was something I didn’t even realize I was doing. He finally snapped and yelled at me when I slammed the car door on the way to dinner about a year into our relationship. I was completely taken aback by the outburst, and it certainly put a damper on the evening. But it taught us a valuable lesson.

These irritants add up over time. Better to say something awkward early on than let it build into an enormous explosion, especially when it is something so easy to fix.

Am I committed to slamming car doors as part of my core personality? No. It’s just one of those habits that stuck and is easy to change.

The Lesson: Speak up when something really bugs you and you know it would be simple to change. It will only get worse over time as it simmers and your mate is oblivious to your irritation. Your partner will appreciate an early comment far more than a crazed outburst.

And if you’re the target of this sane, constructive feedback, take it as intended. If it isn’t something core to your being, it should be pretty easy to do something to make your partner’s life better.

Habits that Can Be Resolved Another Way

You remember I mentioned our toothpaste incompatibility. This turned into a real problem for us as every morning and evening turned into a “why did you squeeze the tube” and a response of “why does it matter?” It’s not a great way to start or end the day, so we came up with a great solution: two separate tubes of toothpaste. For less than $5 a month, we solved a daily grumble.

You don’t have to spend all your energy on stupid fights. If an easy workaround is available, especially when combating a daily habit you’ve had for decades, then take it.

Warren likes noise. When we first got together, he left the television on all the time, whether he was watching it or just answering email on his laptop. It was background noise to him, but it was like nails on a chalkboard to me if I was trying to read or otherwise relax. Rather than take away his “white noise” or force me to fight the distraction, we came up with a very simple solution: headphones and earplugs.

If he can use headphones, he does. If he can’t, I use earplugs. We both win. Again, a $5 solution.

The Lesson: When you focus on resolving the problem instead of who wins or loses, you can usually find a way to make both of you happy. And isn’t that the goal in a relationship?

(And no sweat if your relationship is not new and you haven’t tried this before. Just bring it up during your  next marriage contract review.)

Flat out Deal-Breakers

It shouldn’t come as a surprise to your partner that certain behaviors or attitudes are not in alignment with the way you want to live your life. Be very open with what you want in a relationship and what you will not abide so you have a better chance of having the relationship you want.

And really, this  list of deal-breakers should be fairly short. If you come up with more deal-breakers than your partner can keep up with, you are probably not with the right person.

When Warren and I first started dating we had conversations about children, religion, political affiliations, what we expected in a partnership (and what we were willing to give), monogamy, sex, money, work, and lifestyle. We each had our eyes opened a bit, but we were also further bonded because we knew exactly what we were getting into.

After these conversations we both know what will send the other one packing. While this information is powerful, it is also key to holding us together because we know the boundaries of our behavior and the requirements to keep our relationship strong.

The Lesson: Know the limits of behavior for you and your mate. If it is that important to you, it shouldn’t be a secret to your partner. (And it doesn’t matter what those boundaries are if you both agree to them and they aren’t hurting anyone. It’s your relationship.)

Keep in mind that your requirements come with a level of responsibility. When I demanded full partner status in our relationship in every way, Warren countered back with a financial demand about sharing our money as partners. I wasn’t expecting this, but to ask for equality I had to also give it. There are some great personal lessons to be had if you look at deal-breakers this way.

Adjusting Your Habits to Your Relationship

When you look at your habits and attitudes in relation to your partner, it’s not a win/lose scenario. It’s a merging of two styles from people who love each other. While it can be rocky to negotiate at times, your daily habits are also what will bind your relationship tight and make it possible for you to chase dreams together – the most delicious result of all.

How to adjust when necessary:

Focus on clear, quick communication about the things that bug you
Take fast action when you can adjust your behavior to make your partner’s life better
Create workarounds when possible so you don’t stress out over the small stuff
Be up-front about your deal-breakers
Live up to the ideals you require from your mate

A wise man once told me we love people not in spite of their quirks but because of them. While I’m not sure I’m that evolved just yet, I’m definitely working on it.

This is part of an occasional series titled, The 24/7 Relationship: Lessons on Life, Love, and Laughter. If you have a relationship topic you’d like us to write about, email us. And if you want a bigger sneak peek into how our habits create the life we live, be sure to sign up for our weekly Sunday email. 

40 Books to Answer the Question: “What Is My Dream?”

“A book is like a key that fits into the tumbler of the soul. The two parts have to match in order for each to unlock. Then—click—a world opens.” ― Brad Kessler,

Books have always inspired Betsy and me to try new things in our lives and have shaped our dreams, both individually and as a couple. Books have the potential to open our minds to the possibilities in life. They can radically change our minds and plant the seeds for new directions. Books:

Challeng us mentally
Transport us to new worlds
Open up possibilities we had not seen before
Enable us to connect with others who are living their dream
Allow us to explore ideas from the comfort of our homes

In addition, books are powerful resources to help you answer the question “What is my dream?”. Inspiration to define your dream can come in a plethora of forms, but a book has the ability to peer inside your mind and create the image of what your dream life may look like.

Over the course of our lives we have read hundreds of books, but there are a few which have shaped our lives into the dream we are living today. Each book listed below has opened our eyes to new ideas, ways of approaching our lives, or opportunities we did not know were possible. We can trace many of the greatest experiences we have had back to words that inspired us to take a leap.

“Be as careful of the books you read, as of the company you keep; for your habits and character will be as much influenced by the former as the latter.” ― Paxton Hood

Following is a list of the 40 books that have inspired us the most. If you are struggling to determine what you want most in your life we believe these books can provide a foundation to answering the question “What is my dream?”.

Determine what intrigues you most and dive in. Head to your library or click on a cover and purchase a copy from Amazon.

What books have inspired your dreams?

40 Books to Inspire Your Dreams




Creativity is a habit, and this book teaches creatives how to systematize their creativity to make it more powerful and focused than ever before.



Who wouldn’t want to know how such a prolific and successful author makes it happen? Like Twyla Tharp’s book, this one focuses on the work habits that shape creativity into actual creations.



A novel of personal strength and fortitude and overcoming terrible circumstances. Not everything in life will go your way, but it is up to you how you will let it affect you.



Explore the limits to which others will go to try big things and the courage it takes to see them through.



Can you see a theme here? We really like books on habits – those small daily efforts that morph your life into something incredible.



Motivation and guidance to step outside the norm and create something amazing. Warren started his first company after reading this book.



Discover the wonders of living in another country through the eyes of one man following his passion.



Fiction is just as powerful for motivation as non-fiction. Cronin examines what it would be like if we had to start all over again and the resiliency with which we would do it.



Discover the freedom of living life without limits, ignoring the nay-sayers, and taking off to chart your own path.



The “magical realism” type of books show us the world is not always as it seems, and the characters who build a life based on this knowledge are always compelling and interesting. Just like in real life.



This book opened our minds to the creative potential in us both and provided us with practical resources we could use to explore them. We are better writers as a result.



You’ll quickly realize that “magical realism” is one of Betsy’s favorite types of books. The main character ages twice as fast as everyone else, and in looking at his life passing you feel an urgency in your own.



Learn about Japanese culture and the quest to understand a foreign people and language.



What happens when you isolate the intellectuals and take away all their tools except pen and paper? None of us are superior to the other, just differently gifted and inspired.



Arguably the greatest adventure ever which inspired us to visit Antarctica and live a more adventurous life alway willing to say yes.



This is the first in a 5-part series which opened our eyes to the Mongolian Empire. We devoured the books and then chartered a course to Mongolia to experience the country for ourselves.



We’re always looking ahead, and in this book it’s a treat to look back and see what it takes to build something big. Having an appreciation for your history makes for a better future.



This is a story about humble beginnings and eventual personal success – despite the Spanish Inquisition. (Cathedral by the Sea)



For years Warren would hold on to so much in his life, creating a ball of stress. This book helped him to see the importance of letting go and focusing on the good in life – and there is a lot of good.



Can you imagine losing your sight in your 40s? Ingrid has Retinitis Pigmentosa, and this personal memoir of how she discovered the disease and how it has affected her and her family will indeed give you focus.





Love that transcends time, ignores the wrinkles and age spots, and sees reality as a mirror of the heart – this is a beautiful book about love and loss and forever chasing what you really want.



My favorite characters in this book are the Indian doctor couple who come to Ethiopia to work in the hospital. Their attitudes toward their work and each other will make you want to be a better human.



This is a book about choice – leaving the comforts of the world as you know it to pursue something different. As expected, this book speaks to us. And it is also the reason we went to Scotland.



This is the single best asset for us when we started our first business together. It taught us the importance of building consistency and gave us the tools to create the business we have built today.



Sometimes life decisions are unpopular or misunderstood. This is the story of one such decision and how it impacted one woman’s life. Your choices have consequences, and this is a good reminder.



We love books that show the interconnectedness of life, history, and people. When you realize how much we have in common, it’s hard not to want to make the world a better place.



We uncovered a desire to explore the Pacific and an interest in living on an island for a few months. A lighthearted read which opened up a new appreciation for conveniences.



This book inspired Warren to learn more about each culture he visits and to challenge any preconceived ideas he may have. It is an eyeopening account to a part of the world most of us know little about.



This is feminism on steroids, told from the vantage point of Ahab’s wife. The adventures are incredible, and it was a big inspiration for Betsy to go wandering the world and making my own way.



Warren found a new love of hiking and exploring the mountains while reading this in Peru. It has inspired some fantastic hikes and created a new passion in us both.



Do The Work is Betsy’s go-to book on Resistance and fighting through it to get the most desired results in your life. When you feel the tug of resistance it is often the sign you are close to the magic.



Another book on magical realism, this time showing the connectedness of people who share a common history or event. While we all have individual experiences, learning about the collective experience is also valuable.



This inspired Betsy in her 20s to start thinking about life in a completely different way. “I thought I was grown up, but this book taught me I still had a lot of growing up to do (and could choose the direction of my path).”



An excellent resource for writers looking to expand their creativity. We both enjoyed the blend of history with fiction and learned more about the art of storytelling.



After receiving this as a gift from his mother, Warren learned the motto he lives by to this day “Live life with no regrets”. A book that shaped him early in life and still holds a big part of his heart.



Each of us will be impacted by cancer in our lives. This biography of the disease is a powerful tale of what we’ve learned and how far we’ve come. An excellent primer in combating one of humanity’s deadliest diseases.



Warren discovered a passion for Morocco as well as the importance of not just understanding the culture when you live in another country, but also the beauty of embracing it.



We love this book for what it teaches about travel, that the biggest journey is actually inside yourself.



Each time we’ve read the story we are touched by a different aspect of Carroll’s world. Most recently we love the metaphor of following the white rabbit down the hole to discover a new path available for our lives.



Provides practical and detailed steps to creating the action plan for your dream life. It has inspired hundred to define their dream and take the steps to make it come true.

How to Get the Most Out of Married with Luggage

You speak differently when you’re talking to your mate, your parents, and your coworkers. It doesn’t change who you are or what you have to say, but it does show that you recognize the different needs of the people receiving your message.

Your mom might listen for hours, but your boss wants the info short and sweet. You can analyze things with your friends over a glass of wine or have a light-hearted conversation with your coworkers in the break room.

It’s the same for us. We want to share ideas and tactics on living closer to your dream, and we do this in a variety of ways: the 500+ articles on this site, our books, videos, Facebook, and in our weekly newsletter. Some people consume all of them because they like the way the message is reinforced. Others prefer one over the others, and that’s cool, too.

If you think each one is the same, think again. Here’s a little cheat sheet to help you get the most out of this site.

How to Get the Most Out of Married with Luggage:

Website: You can get a new article on personal growth every week. These come in the form of how-to guides, interviews with inspiring people, or life lessons from our travels. This is what we’d call “evergreen” content that is helpful anytime. You can pop by the website and read it or sign up to have it delivered via email or RSS feed.
Weekly email: Every Sunday morning we arrive in your inbox with a more casual letter from us, an original article inspired by what happened the previous week, updates on reader success stories, and fun extras like Warren’s recent 5-part garage decluttering video series (yes, he really cleaned out someone else’s garage just to make videos for you!). It’s a more personal connection and completely different from the blog, if you’re into that sort of thing (and we are!). Click here to get it delivered via email. Click here to read the last edition to see if it’s right for you.
Facebook: Need a fun or inspiring start to your day? These short bites of inspiration or instruction are exactly that and include funny and beautiful photos from our travels. Click here to Like us on Facebook.
Google+: If you’re following us here, you’ll get first notice on our live Google + Hangouts, which are video chats where you can ask questions via chat after a 20-minute lesson on some aspect of personal growth or dream achievement. This is our newest feature and one we think is going to be a big hit. Circle us on Google+ here.
YouTube: We like making videos for you, and these 5-minute chats add to the topics of personal growth on the website. Subscribe to our YouTube channel and you’ll get videos as soon as they are uploaded along with the replay videos from our Google + Hangouts chats as soon as they become available.
Budgeting: Is your dream long-term travel like ours? Find out how much we spend every month as well as tips for traveling on a budget at our RTW Expenses website.

The message of personal empowerment and living your dream is important, and we want easy access to the this information.

If you want to know more about a specific subject, we have books to help with that. You can find all of our books here, and you can buy them in paperback or ebook.

Dream Save Do: An Action Plan for Dreamers
Getting Rid of It: Eliminate the Clutter in Your Life
Strip Off Your Fear: Slip Into Something More Confident

What’s Coming Up

This spring we’ll be releasing our video podcast series on creating the life you want.
Later this year we’ll be announcing our virtual retreat, and it will be an option for deeper learning and access to our help in creating your own Dream Action Plan – all from the comfort of your own home.
We have a few other things on the agenda, like a book of relationship lessons and an on-site dreamer’s retreat in an exotic locale in 2014. (We keep dreaming bigger so you can, too.)

So take what works best for you, invest in more focused topics as you need them, and know that we are always on hand to share our experience, knowledge, and resources for creating the life you want out of the life you already have.

(Don’t worry, this reminder doesn’t replace the weekly article. Heads up for that on Friday!)

5 Practical Steps to Asking for What You Want

Last night we hosted our first live video event and had a great time doing it. During the 50 minute discussion we:

Discussed the importance of asking for what you want and provided 5 actionable steps you can take
Provided a sneak peak at an early version of our new web show intro video
Answered reader questions about relationships and staying motivated

We enjoyed being able to share more insights into how to carve the life you want from the life you already have. During the course of the video we referenced a few links and resources to help you in your process:

More practical information on “The Art of The Ask” is included in our book, Dream Save Do: An Action Plan for Dreamers.
Shelly asked if we ever fought and we discussed our biggest fight in Scotland
Learn how asking for what you want can lead to big experiences
Doug wanted insight into finding someone to share his dream with and we discussing finding people with similar interests at Meetup.com
In response to Rodney’s question on online businesses, here are 50 ideas for side businesses you can start.

If you cannot view the link below, click here to see it on YouTube.

We want everyone who has a dream to go after it. Help us spread the word by sharing this post with fellow dreamers in your life by clicking on the Facebook share button below.