Warren Talbot's Blog, page 30

Your Action Plan for Dreamers has Arrived

Hot off the presses! Get your copy of Dream Save Do: An Action Plan for Dreamers, in print or ebook today. Already read it? We’d love to hear what you think in a public review. Click here to leave one on Amazon.

If you regularly daydream about a life that is different from the one you’re living today, pay attention. This is gonna get juicy.

You probably never get past the daydreaming part because you simply don’t know where to start and what actions to take every day, much less figuring out how you’re going to pay for it all.

On top of that, there’s the worry about how to tell other people – out loud! – that you want to be a ghost hunter / tornado chaser / scrapbooker / spelunker / inventor / geocacher / robot builder / letterpress printer / entrepreneur / writer / chef / traveler or whatever else you’re dreaming of.

What will people think?

It’s enough to stop you dead in your tracks, waiting for the “some day” that will somehow be better than today to chase your dream.

(You’re probably wondering when I’m going to get to the good news. Coming right up!)

The truth is, there is never a “good” time to follow your dreams. While that might sound depressing, it’s actually very good news. It means there is no better time than now – lickity split, pronto! pronto! – to take action on that dream.

Now is the Time

All you need need is an action plan, and we’ve created one for you in the second edition of our book, Dream Save Do: An Action Plan for Dreamers.

The book is $9.99 in ebook format (Kindle, Nook, and iTunes) and $12.99 in paperback format. It is the closest thing you’ll get to actually sitting down with us and hashing out your dream without a passport and a plane ticket.

This book is the action plan we used to change our lives from corporate ladder climbers to world travelers in just 2 years and how countless other people have achieved their goals since we published the first version of this book in 2011.

But you shouldn’t just take our word for it, even though we have trustworthy, honest faces.

Take the word of Beth, a woman who used this Action Plan for Dreamers to take her side business to full-time status within 6 months, kissing her lame day job goodbye. Not only can she support herself and her son, she actually has employees! Beth focused her energy on making this dream happen, and along the way she even landed a book deal. (Yes, your dreams can get bigger as you go. It’s allowed.)
Listen to Matt, who failed in his first attempt to take a family sabbatical while his kids were still young. He used the Action Plan for Dreamers to recalibrate his goals, include his family in the planning process, and even create some side income along the way. At the time of this writing, he and his family just returned from a life-changing 3-month trip to Indonesia, and they have bigger plans ahead for their family.
Check out Samantha, who loved making fancy cakes for her friends but never thought she’d be able to have her own cake shop. She took our “take the first step” approach of simply calling about the requirements before ruling it out on her own assumptions, and she was shocked to find it would only take her 6 weeks to start selling cakes from her own kitchen! Little Avenue Cakes was born, and she’s been the hottest cake decorator in her corner of Australia ever since.
Do you think you’re going to go against the flow? Then Akiyo’s story might resonate with you. As she was finishing her Ph.D., she decided to rethink her life and how this structured lecturer’s job was going to fit with her bipolar disorder. She used the Action Plan for Dreamers to set up a lifestyle that fit her specific needs instead of trying to fit her needs into  ready-made lifestyle. People thought she might be crazy to walk away from a sure thing, and now the only crazy in her unconventional life is crazy happy.
Family and friends make it harder to change sometimes – they want to keep you as you are because that’s what they know. But if you have a dream you’ve been holding for 20 years or more, you’ll appreciate Brenda’s story. She took a job layoff and turned it into a job teaching overseas, which was her biggest dream. The thing that had been keeping her back before was her dad, who didn’t want her to leave. Learn how she finally made the break without breaking the relationship after 20 years of being pressured to stay.

These are 5 of the case studies in the book, stories from people just like you who wanted to do something different with their lives and finally made it happen: logistically, financially, emotionally, and socially.

You can do it, too.  

What’s in it for you

This edition has 33% more content based on reader questions, comments, and stories from the past 4 years. It’s even available in print now, which was a frequent request.

You’ll find real-life stories from other people, insights into our own experience, and studies on happiness and achieving goals. You’ll dive deeper into dreams and how to envision the one that fits you perfectly. You’ll discover how your money can work for you instead of against you. You’ll learn about motivation, screwing up, and automating things so it’s easier. You’ll also learn a lot about what it’s like to achieve a big dream and the mental and emotional lessons that will stay with you for life.

But most of all, it’s the Action Plan to make your dream a reality in the no-BS, conversational style you’re used to from us.

What else do you need to convince you now is the time?

A sample chapter
Answers to your burning questions
Reviews from other people

If you’re looking for an overnight success or a lot of navel gazing and contemplation, this isn’t for you. But if you think something is missing in your life and you want to do something about it right this minute, this is the plan you’ve been waiting for.

Of course we want you to buy the book. But more than that, we hope you’ll take action on your biggest dream today and every day after until it is your reality.

You deserve nothing less.

Do you know someone who needs to hear this message? Please share this post with a friend who has a dream but is struggling with how to make it happen.

How I Handled My Naysayers (And Fell In Love With My Life)

We are pleased to share this guest post from reader, writer, and traveler Gigi Griffis. Today’s topic, dealing with the naysayers to your dream, is a great lead in for our upcoming release of the second edition of Dream Save Do. Be sure to sign up for our newsletter to receive advance notice of the release and the first chapter from the book. 

I’ve had nay-sayers in my life for as long as I can remember.

You know the ones: the well-intentioned friends, family, and even strangers who are concerned that if you start a business at 26, you’ll fail spectacularly and become a homeless vagabond. Or if you quit your job and travel the world for a year, you’ll get malaria and be eaten by a crocodile (possibly at the same time). Or if you get that English degree, you’ll work at Wendy’s for forever.

They mean well (usually), these nay-sayers. Or at least I like to think that they do. They want you to be financially secure, to have a roof over your head, to live a long, healthy life.

But they don’t get it. They don’t get that a long and healthy life isn’t enough for you. That you also want to scale that mountain peak, jump off the ledge, change the world.

They also don’t get that their feedback can wear on you. That they’re making obstacles where perhaps none existed before.

So…how do you deal with them gracefully? How do you take that deep breath, push through their wall of doubts, and leap into your dreams?

Perhaps my story will help:

Nearly ten years ago now, I was sitting on the floor of my dorm room crying my eyes out. I wanted desperately to be a writer—and, in keeping with that goal, I wanted to change my major to English. But, oh, the nay-saying! Older, wiser people that I trusted were vehemently against the idea. Why would I change my major to English when I could do something practical?

“You’ll never get a good job!” (They cried.)

“Major in something practical!” (They begged.)

“That starving artist thing isn’t a joke!” (They scolded.)

I battled for a long time on that floor, eventually deciding to do what I loved, even if it was the longer, harder road and no one but me believed in it.

It was my first hard lesson: to trust my heart and to beware anyone who says “always” or “never.”

Fast-forward a few years: I was then working as a copywriter at an ad agency. I loved the writing. I loved the clients. But I was tired of working late into the night, feeling constantly tired, spending my time and resources building someone else’s business. My heart said that it was time to start my own business. And as I quietly, then boldly, announced my dream, the nay-sayers grew wide-eyed and began to outline the lengthy list of why It Would Never Work.

“You’re too young,” was the most common nay-say, followed by some variation of: “Most businesses fail in the first two years.”

This time, there were no tears on the bedroom floor. This time I felt the fear, I recognized the anxiety, I listened politely to the nay-sayers, and then I politely dismissed them from my business.

After all, none of these people had started their own businesses. Let alone at the age of 26.

This was my second, less difficult lesson: you can choose whose opinions matter. And, for me, it makes sense to choose people who are living their own dreams, following their own hearts, living the life they choose. I chose not to make other people’s fears my own.

I also learned that it gets easier. The more you follow your dreams, the more you build confidence in your ability to make those dreams happen. And the less the nay-sayers weigh on you.

I hired someone to design my new business website that week.

Finally, fast-forward with me once more to 2011, when I’d been successfully self-employed for a whole year.

I was dreaming again: dreaming of taking my small business and my small dog and traveling around the world.

Boy, did those nay-sayers not like that idea.

But this time I was ready for them. When they said that traveling with a dog was impossible or that I’d lose all my clients or that I wouldn’t be able to work, what with all the distractions of Scotland or Paris or Prague, I listened politely and promptly forgot about their objections.

Because by then I knew that just because they presented a problem, didn’t mean I couldn’t find a solution. Just because they were afraid to leap off the edge and into their dreams, didn’t mean I had to be.

Which brings me to today:

Today I am in Paris. I still have my successful little small business. I am a writer. And I travel full-time with my dog.

So when it comes to your nay-sayers, remember that it isn’t their life. It’s yours. All yours. And what you do with it and how you do it is all yours too.

And also remember that your nay-sayers are people. They’re nay-saying because they’re scared. And the best way to handle them? Kindly thank them for their input and continue your course. And when they timidly peek their own dreams out into the light, be there to encourage them to battle past their own fears and nay-sayers.

Your life will be all the richer for it.

Author Bio:  Gigi Griffis is a writer and humorist with a penchant for snuggly puppies, new places, and Italian cooking. In May 2012, she sold her stuff and took to the road with a growing business and a pint-sized pooch. You can read all about her adventures on her travel blog, you can hire her to write awesome stuff for your website, and she’d love to be friends on Facebook. 

How to Change Your Life at Any Age: An Interview with Singer Serenity Stewart

You’re into you, but you’re into you for all the wrong reasons. ~ Serenity Stewart

There were 2 bath towels soaked with blood before Serenity Stewart thought there might be a real problem. She was working as the administrator for a very large gynecology practice in Arizona, and she didn’t have time to be sick. The recurring nosebleeds she’d been battling for weeks had turned into a full-blown fountain of blood from every opening in her head.

Her sister finally took her to the ER, and it turned out she had a brain aneurysm. As a 50-year-old working single mom of  4, she says she just didn’t have time for this back in 2005. She just wanted the doctor to fix her up and send her home. He tried explaining the severity of her condition and the next steps, and instead of paying attention, she asked for some loose leaf paper so she could hand write her will.

Blood was pouring from her ears and she was still focused on taking care of other people.

She thought she was going to die, and no one was more surprised than her when she woke up.

Several days later she was sent home to rest. Doctor’s orders were to relax and recover, and she couldn’t stand it. She worried about work and her kids and “wasting time.” After watching a few Jack Nicholson movies, she began thinking about her life. After a while, she couldn’t stop thinking about her life.

She kept coming back to the same question about her overworked, under-lived lifestyle:

Why am I doing this?

Childhood Dreams

Serenity has a voice like an angel, but her mom always told her, “I think you could stand up to the devil.” With this kind of fearless attitude, you’d think she would have pursued her love of singing and become world famous long before her 50th birthday. Her family was musical – her mom an opera singer and her dad a pianist – but even those good genes and a desire to sing weren’t enough.

Instead of heading to Broadway, she fell in love, got married, became a mother, got divorced, and turned her ambition into something “reliable” to support her family. She was very successful in all outward appearances: an important job managing a big group of physicians, a nice place to live, money to give her kids a good education, and even the frills like great clothes and nice meals out.

But she still wasn’t singing except for her twice-daily performances in the car on the way to and from work.

Evaluating the Situation

As she restlessly stayed at home recovering from her aneurysm, she began focusing on herself for perhaps the first time in her life. She decided to finish out a few weeks at work and take a sabbatical. There was a lot to consider, and she needed time away to process what happened to her – both the brain injury and how she got so far from her biggest dream.

I had to shed all the hats I’d been wearing to find the real me. I hadn’t thought about myself like that in a very long time.

She traveled to California to visit a friend, and he offered her a trip on his boat. She ended up spending a year and a good chunk of her savings living there and thinking about her life, journaling and looking for what was real and what was manufactured. Those introspective moments on the boat led her to this conclusion:

“I should do what I’m here to do before it’s too late.”

Serenity realized her ability to sing was only a talent, one she had been hoarding for herself. To truly see it as a gift – the way she had seen it as a child – she had to actually give it to other people. This meant overcoming all her lifelong fears of not being good enough (a common ailment of over-achievers) as well as the societal pressure of being too old to start singing professionally.

She had to crack open the tough outer shell she created to preserve herself for all these years of hard-scrabble single parenthood and work. If this was going to work, she was going to have to be vulnerable.

Chasing the Dream

She began shedding her current life, learning to live without all the possessions and status symbols she craved before. Stripping it down to the essentials was her new status quo, and she reveled in the clarity it brought to her life. She kept asking herself:

“Am I really this person? Who was I meant to be?”

It started out as a personal project, singing simply to share her talent. She sang at churches, joined choirs, and gained experience performing. She worked her voice every day. She bought equipment piece by piece as she had the funds – microphones, amps, recording equipment.

As she continued focusing her life on this dream one small step at a time, she thought of a simpler era, times when war and other overriding concerns caused people to focus on what was truly important: love, loss, and pulling together. As Serenity created more simplicity in her own life, she began singing the songs from the 40s. She dressed in clothes of the time, showing just how attractive a woman of any age can be when she’s following her dream. She began playing gigs around town.

Her partner – now her fiancé – encouraged her to finally set up a budget and record a CD of these torch songs. He told her she was ready, something she already knew, and she took the final plunge of investing in herself by going to Las Vegas and recording a CD.

Serenity’s Take on How to Change your Life at Any Age:

Most people are holding themselves back. Ask yourself these questions: Who am I? Is this all there is? Is this all I want? Am I happy with me? Am I happy with my life? If the answer to any of these questions is not pleasing to you, it’s up to you to fix it.
There’s no magic pill. It’s still about you doing the work on the soul and spirit of you. Unlock the childhood trauma and lessons that weren’t ever real. They leave a residual effect, and you have clean the chalkboard and start all over.
Slow down. It was the brain injury that forced Serenity to stop, and she says without it, she might never have done it. She was too busy living to really live. Take some time for yourself to figure out what you want and what you don’t. It’s far more important than Facebook, television, or housework.
Stop taking responsibility for everyone else. They like having you do it, but they are often more than capable of doing it for themselves. Allow them – and you – the growth experience.
Say what you mean. She says she was “shut off” before as she worked for everyone else, but now she’s “turned on” for herself. This means saying no when she doesn’t want to do something and learning to ask for what she wants without shame. Not everyone is going to like it, and they don’t have to.

Living the Dream

Serenity is still amazed at the outpouring of support for her CD, P.S. I Love You. She’s been performing regularly ever since, giving the gift of her talents and finally realizing the happiness she’d been sitting on for so long. Serenity is working on a new CD and even planning a European tour this spring. She never imagined her life could turn out this way, especially at 56, and she’s glad she took the time to finally focus on herself.

It’s not too late for her, and it’s not too late for you.

I don’t feel guilty. I have adopted a sense of entitlement to my life. ~ Serenity Stewart

Do you think you’re too old to live your dream? Give yourself a wakeup call with our book, Dream Save Do: An Action Plan for Dreamers. Buy it today on Kindle and get the updated second edition automatically when it is published on February 15.

Find the Right People to Increase Your Creativity

After 3+ months, today we are leaving the US to head to Mexico for our next adventure. We are looking forward to a few months of new writing projects, expanding our Spanish, and immersing ourselves into the culture. In addition, we’re excited about a new endeavor to create our own modern day version of the salons of old, which is intended to provide “informal gatherings where people talk big talk, talk meant to be listened to and perhaps passionately acted upon.”

Surrounding yourself with people who share your passion and interests will help to spur your own creativity and help keep you motivated and on track as you follow your dream. In today’s video we provide a bit more insight into the value of regularly getting together with others to exchange ideas and talk passionately about what you care about most.

You Don’t Have to Be a RockStar to Be Famous (but it Helps to Travel with the Band)

Warren and I crammed ourselves into the back of the car while our friend Russ loaded his Fender bass guitar case on our laps. The amp and the speaker were in the hatch, and Russ’s wife Michelle was in the front passenger seat. It was Saturday night, and we were on our way to a gig.

We love hanging out with creative people of all types, but our early-bird nature usually means we are tucked away in bed at the time most musicians are just going to work. This night was different, and we were excited to watch Russ perform with his band, Secret Town.

Russ pulled the car to the curb, turned on the hazard lights and we began to unload equipment. I looked at Warren and said, “we’re roadies!” We carried the equipment to the stage, where Russ directed the unloading and positioning of equipment and introduced us to the opening act. We found a table near the front, ordered our drinks, and set up the camera to take photos and video for the band’s website.

How we Got the Gig

Before we get to the show, I should explain how we all met and why we were together again.

Russ and Michelle began reading our website when they first began planning their own year of travel in 2009. Russ reached out to ask us a few logistical questions, and we became casual online friends.

When they arrived in Thailand a year ago, we finally met in person and really hit it off – so much so that they stayed for a month at our guesthouse. Six months later, we met up again at a farmhouse in Slovenia for a week of hiking and relaxation. We love these guys, so we made it a point to see them again during our US visit.

Russ has an encyclopedic knowledge of music, plays 5 instruments, and has an easygoing personality. He’s the kind of guy you could envision playing a ukelele under a big tree on a summer day while singing folk songs (which he did in Slovenia).

What Russ really missed in the year he and Michelle traveled the world was playing music with other people. He’s an IT guy by trade, but a musician at heart. It’s an essential component to his happiness, so the first thing he did upon returning home to San Francisco was join a new band.

Russ’s dream is to play music, and he makes sure his life fits around this dream.

The Perks of Being with the Band

Which brings us back to last Saturday night. Russ is building a website for the band, and he can’t very well take his own pictures while playing. We spent a very enjoyable evening hooting, hollering, singing along, and taking pictures and videos. We were the roadies and photographers of the night, and it was fun to see our friend playing with a professional band.

The pictures don’t lie; he was enjoying the hell out it.

At 1:00 a.m. we packed up the equipment and began walking toward the door. A group of guys came in and saw me with the big Fender case and said, “Are you guys done playing?”

They thought I was part of the band!

I mustered up as much cool as I could and casually told them the show was over. Then I kept walking like it happened to me every single day of my life. Just another fan at another gig on another night. It felt GREAT to be a rockstar for about 15 seconds and gave me a tiny little peek into what it’s like to be a working musician in a great city like San Francisco.

We were there to support Russ, to see him shine as he pursued his one big love besides Michelle, and use Warren’s skills as a photographer and videographer to help Russ promote his band. But we didn’t expect the secret thrill of being “with the band” and getting an inside look at the life of a musician.

Be the Roadie for Your Friends

When you support other people in the achieving or living of their dreams, some of the magic will naturally rub off on you. You can’t help it. Your friend is doing big things, you’re lending your talents to support or help in some small way, and there is good juju all around.

Dale Carnegie famously said if you help enough people get what they want, you’ll get what you want. In this case, we played a very small role in the night, but the law still applies. You don’t give to receive, but you can’t stop the goodness from washing all over you. It’s a proximity thing.

Remember, it’s not just the pursuit of your own dreams that will make you happy. Support someone else – even if it’s just carrying their equipment – and you’ll get the brush with fame that comes from being with the band.

Dream Like a Child Again

Remember those days when you wanted to be an astronaut, dig your way to China, or become a professional athlete? As a kid, you didn’t know you couldn’t be what you wanted. When someone asked, you simply told them: “I want to be president.”

It isn’t until we reach adulthood that we begin making excuses, visualizingobstacles, and giving in to what’s available instead of what we want. It took Warren and me almost 30 years to recapture the dreams of our 8-year-old selves. A visit to Warren’s mom this week in Colorado reminded us how we had come full circle.

Transcript

March 19, 1979: The Train That Went Around the World

Once upon a time there was a little train and he liked to travel. One day he said to himself: “I want to go around the world.” So he went home and asked his mother and father. They both said, “Yes.” So he kissed them and he was off around the world. He did not get back til March 29, 1979. When he got back he told all friends about the big trip. The End.

It’s pretty amazing that a guy who ended up traveling the world in his 40s had the first germ of the idea when he was just 8 (even if he mistakenly believed he could do it in just 10 days).

You probably have dreams like that, too. Maybe you were a train or a princess or a monster, but you can remember what you wanted so much back then. I read the Boxcar Children books as a kid and always imagined living lean and by my own wits while solving great mysteries. My life today is not too far off the mark.

We are often asked how you know what you want to do with your life:

According to the Center for Disease Control, about 4 out of 10 Americans have not discovered a satisfying life purpose. Forty percent either do not think their lives have a clear sense of purpose or are neutral about whether their lives have purpose. Nearly a quarter of Americans feel neutral or do not have a strong sense of what makes their lives meaningful. ~ The Atlantic, There’s More to Life Than Being Happy

Dream Like a Child

One clue, a start down the path, would be to revisit your childhood dreams. What did you want to do back then, even if it is so fantastical you know it couldn’t happen today? Whatever it is, it will reveal the root of what got you so excited at age 8 and what can reinvigorate you today.

Tell us in the comments: What did you want to do when you were 8?

Every week we tackle dreaming in a practical way in our newsletter. Sign up here for your non-caffeinated but totally energized Sunday morning life wake-up. (Coffee not included.)

How to Handle a Know-It-All (and why we’re opening up comments again)

You’re at a party and you’re trapped in the corner with a guy who knows everything under the sun and your job is to simply acknowledge his brilliance with an occasional nod. Or maybe your kid’s Saturday morning soccer game gives you the opportunity to learn all the best parenting / dieting / political advice from the self-appointed Super Mom of the neighborhood. And sometimes you work for this type of person, the one who doesn’t want your feedback on the job you know inside and out, and expects you to robotically obey his or her commands and never call in sick.

We’ve met hundreds of people in our travels and run into more than a few know-it-alls. Today you’ll learn how we handle the various types so you can avoid being trapped in the future. And for your added enjoyment, you’ll learn why we decided to get down off our own soapbox to have a better conversation with you.

Types of Know-it-Alls

There are 3 basic kinds of know-it-alls, and the types hold true across borders and languages. (I’m referring to the know-it-alls as males for ease of writing, but there is no gender distinction in real life.)

The Evangelist

Sometimes a know-it-all is just really into it, like the off-the-grid hostel owner we met in Peru. He could not stop talking about how liberating it was to live without a phone, internet, or television and one hour away from the closest village. He even glamorized intestinal parasites…over dinner.

Good for him. We want civilization.

Evangelists have experienced great joy or incredible results from an action, event, or realization and they cannot imagine why everyone in the world wouldn’t be interested in it.

These people can be instructive, annoying, or just plain humorous. Or all 3 at once. The main problem is they have no filter and just spew information rather than waiting to share in a conversation with interested parties.

How to handle an Evangelist when you don’t want the message at all: “I’m really happy this worked out so well for you, but it’s not for me.”

How to handle an Evangelist when you don’t want so much information: “This sounds interesting. Can you recommend a book/website/podcast I can check out later for more info?”

Then change the subject or walk/run away. Unless you happen to be an hour from the nearest town and without internet, phone or television in remote Peru.

The All Talk, No Action Person

We meet this guy a lot in the common room of guesthouses and hostels all over the world. He holds court to tell all the other travelers how to best enjoy their time in the area, but he rarely seems to actually leave himself. He’s always working on a money-making strategy that will change the way we look at something core to our lives. When he’s not Facebooking or drinking beer, that is.

This know-it-all has solutions for almost any problem, but none of them are road-tested. He is quick to tell you how to do something he’s never done. He’s always “getting ready to” do something big.

The All Talk, No Action person is more concerned with what others think of him than what he thinks of himself. This is why he wants to impress and why he is so scared of failure that he doesn’t ever follow through on his grand plans.

How to handle an All Talk, No Action guy: Call him on it. Ask for his personal experience or tell him you’ll revisit the topic when he’s actually done it.

Been There, Done That

This is similar to the All Talk, No Action Person, but this one always has a personal experience or a “good friend” who did exactly what you just did but better or in a way you can’t possibly replicate if it is something you plan to do tomorrow.

He is the black hole of fun, always tamping down your experience with a bigger and better tale of his own (or one from his thousands of “good buddies”) that is hardly believable. I’ve seen him rain on the parades of travelers who come back to the guesthouse excited about an experience, only to be told it was far less worthy than his.

This guy is pretty insecure, which leads to his need to dominate every exchange and come out the winner. Why should he care if his Machu Picchu experience was better than yours? Isn’t it cool that you both went and can talk about it?

It’s hard to imagine the aggressive know-it-all is scared underneath the crunchy outer layer, but it is true. Otherwise, why all the bravado and posturing? These people typically haven’t been there and done that. They most often got their information second or third hand, and any credible challenge to it will crumble it. So will ignoring it.

How to handle the Been There, Done That guy: Ignore this guy. Since his commentary isn’t often based in fact, you’ll never have a decent conversation. Better to go out and enjoy your life and let him keep talking about it.

What This has to Do with Comments

We turned off the comments on this site last summer. We thought we’d move the conversation to Facebook, where it would be even more social.

What we discovered is that people don’t always want to comment on personal growth articles when all their friends and family can read them (especially if those friends and family happen to be know-it-alls). We missed some really great conversation with you guys, and you weren’t able to share your perspective. We all lost out in this scenario.

Our “evangelism” over living the good life started to look a lot more like 2 people on a soapbox on the corner instead of 2 people hosting a dinner party in their virtual home for interesting people.

So, we invite you to come back in, take your shoes off, and get comfortable. Tell us what you think about this article, the comments being on or off, or how your new year is starting. Ask a question, tell a story, or share an idea.

The door is open, and we’d love to have a conversation with you.

The High Price of Clutter (and How it Keeps You from Living)

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If you are still  holding on to your past, it’s going to be pretty hard to appreciate the present or make room for the future. Your possessions tie you down physically, mentally, and energetically – at least the ones that aren’t working for you anymore.

When you get rid of what no longer fits in your life, you can stop maintaining the earlier versions of you, the ones you’ve long since outgrown (leg warmers! bread machine! baby furniture!). You are free to be the present you, the most evolved you.

Sounds refreshing, doesn’t it?

Help is on the way. Be sure to sign up for the weekly newsletter (aka the Inner Circle) so you can watch Warren’s free 4-week video series on the basics of cleaning out a garage (oh yes, he cleaned someone’s garage last month JUST to show you how!). If you have any total junk room in your house – a bedroom, attic, basement, or garage – you are going to love these tips. It starts on Sunday, so don’t delay.

And if you want the full plan on getting rid of it, you know we wrote the book on it.

Make 2013 the year you stopped paying to maintain the old you and focused on enjoying the you of today.

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How Exposure Increased My Confidence

It was an intensely felt year.

Exposure was my theme in 2012. While I did manage to keep my clothes on (you’re welcome), I did expose a great deal of myself this year in public.

I published a book about speaking up and going your own way, and in it I outed myself as a feminist, a bastard, a divorcee, and an atheist from a religious household. I revealed my fears of suffocating in my former life and my fears of losing the freedom in my current life. I confessed some of my mistakes, my overwhelming need to be liked, and my discomfort with conflict. Then I boldly told readers how to learn from my mistakes.

To top it off, I wrote it in a stripping metaphor, slowly peeling back the layers to reveal the genuine person underneath. Of course, you had to read the book to figure that out, and if you didn’t you might just think it was a book about stripping. How embarrassing.

After the gut-wrenching decision to publish – an iffy decision up until the moment of launch – I immediately shaved my head. I blamed it on the beer at lunch and Warren’s encouragement, but part of me just wanted to distract you from the contents or me from your reaction to them.

Look, I’m bald! Don’t read the book! (Please buy the book!)”

I was an exaggeration of everything I railed against in the book. Physician, heal thyself. (Which also proves my friend Leslie‘s contention that we teach to instruct ourselves.) I felt extremely exposed, more so than I have ever been in my life.

Exposure in a Relationship

The year carried on with other soft underbelly moments, like the grand overland journey across Asia and Europe where our relationship was tested sometimes to the extreme (thankfully there were only goats in the Gobi desert to hear the worst of the yelling).

The stress and difficulty of the journey forced me to reveal far more of myself to Warren than I ever had, and I feared the loss of his respect and admiration if he realized I wasn’t as tough/smart/adventurous as he thought.

Throughout it all, he’s still deeply committed to me, and that’s still hard to believe sometimes.

 ”In order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen.” ~ Brene Brown

Exposure at Work

In our Married with Luggage business, I had to learn a certain amount of humility where feedback is concerned. As business partners, we often have to override the married part of our relationship to be brutally honest with each other. While it has grown our business substantially in 2012, it has also poked at the boundaries of our personal relationship.

No one is more proud – or critical – of my writing than Warren, and while I hate receiving it I know it makes the end product better. In fact, you could say that half my writing voice is due to Warren’s editing. I have grudgingly allowed him in, but I still fight him at every turn. I don’t like needing this help, despite the fact that all professional writers use editors. (Logic doesn’t apply when dealing with exposure, fear and shame.)

Exposure + Action = Confidence

To sum up 2012, when I wasn’t feeling like a confident badass, traveling the world with the man I love and doing the work I was meant to do, I was quivering in my boots.

Exposure, indeed.

So why am I telling you all this? Well, this is the time of year everyone starts taking about resolutions, and I’m a firm believer you cannot look forward until you have processed what’s behind you. By looking the year and drawing the lessons – even coming up with a word for 2012 like I did – you can better anticipate the challenges and opportunities of the coming year.

I didn’t publicly cower in the corner this year – in fact it was a pretty stellar year overall – but I did feel like it on multiple occasions and I hate admitting it (even more so than actually doing it, which is telling in and of itself). But when you uncover frailties in yourself, especially those intimately linked to your biggest strengths, you can better plot your next move.

Exposure is a package deal with my confidence, and whatever I decide to do in 2013 has to account for this if I want to be successful.

(We talked about evaluating the past year on video in last week’s newsletter - you are getting it, right? - and this week we’ll cover how those lessons can inform your plans for the new year. Warren’s lessons are all around control and comfort with the unknown, so you’ll get an earful of juicy insights from both of us. Sign up here.)

This has been an incredible year of growth for me personally and for us as a team, and while I know 2013 will bring challenges, I’m more practiced and comfortable with the exposure required to live the life of my dreams. I’m gearing up for the opportunities in spite of my discomfort.

It isn’t easy, but if it was, everybody would be doing it.

Thank you for virtually traveling with us in 2012, opening your homes to us on our travels, reading our books, sending us emails, and connecting with us on Facebook. It’s probably easier to expose yourself to strangers, but I much prefer the more intimate reveal to friends we know and love and those friends we just haven’t met yet.

People just like you.

Here’s to deepening our connection with ourselves and with each other in 2013. Happy New Year!

The book that started my Great Exposure of 2012 is Strip Off Your Fear: Slip Into Something More Confident (buy it! don’t buy it!). I’ll be revealing more about this little gem in the new year and the lessons we’ve learned from publishing it. 

How to Navigate the End of the World

Many are saying that the world will end in a fiery explosion on Friday, December 21, 2012, bringing to fruition a “prediction” they believe came from the ancient Mayans. While I’m certain this will not be our fate, there is a part of me wishing they are right. I would like our world to end.

I’d love to see an end to the world where:

You don’t go after your dreams
You continue in jobs/careers which don’t fulfill you
The path to getting what you want is blocked by the clutter in your home and life
You don’t stand up and tell others what you want most in life out of fear at what they will say
You don’t have a plan for going after your dream

Wouldn’t it be great to begin Saturday fresh, with a renewed focus on going after what you want most in life?

Shape Your Life

If December 21st represents the end of the world, then Saturday, December 22nd marks the beginning of a new one. The day when you stand up and say, “I will not spend another day without action towards my dream.” This is the day you take the first steps towards the life you want.

You can take control of your life and live it on your terms. You can live the life you want, but it will require a change in your mindset and small, positive action every day. Saturday is the first step in the process.

Put One Foot in Front of the Other

If we’re going to use myths and superstition to motivate us, then you’d be hard pressed to do better than the words of a young Santa Clause in Santa Claus Is Coming To Town

If you want to change your direction

If your time of life is at hand

Well don’t be the rule be the exception

A good way to start is to stand

For a toe-tapping good time and an inspiring message to boot, check out the full video. If you are over 35 then this is also likely to bring back memories of the Saturday night before Christmas with the family.

The First Step

If you don’t know what your dream is, but know it’s beyond what you’re doing today, the first step is to eliminate what you know you don’t like. Click here for more insight into the importance of getting rid of things.

Eliminating what you don’t want in your life – the clutter in your home, relationships which are not supporting you, and activities which you don’t enjoy – will open you up to see the possibilities in your life. By removing the junk you’ll be shocked at how free you’ll feel, and how addictive the process can begin. You will look forward to putting making more time for the things you love and to writing new ads on Craigslist.

However, focus this weekend on removing just one item, eliminating it from your life. By the end of Sunday, identify 1 item in your home and take it to the closest charity donation. When you do, make note of how it feels to remove this from your life. If you like to share, please drop me an email with your thoughts on the experience.

Once that you’ve taken the first step, the momentum is started. As it gathers steam you will find you” begin to enjoy the process of getting rid of it for the benefits you see. You’ll start to see major changes in not only the organization of your home, but in where you choose to spend your time and with whom.

Eliminating just 1 item may seem small, but the first step in creating your new life needs to be.

Create Your World

Make the next world one where you choose to live your dream. Take this as an opportunity to carve out the life you want from the life you are already living. But you must take action. We’re here to provide you the encouragement and guidance, but only you can take the steps needed to embrace the new world you’ll create.

While the world will not end tomorrow, we hope that it is the end of a world where you don’t go after your dreams. Go on – “put one foot in front of the other”.

Click here to sign up for our newsletter to get deeper insights and ongoing actions you can take to live your dreams. Each Sunday we provide encouragement and actions to help get you closer to living the life you want.