Laura Susan Johnson's Blog, page 5

March 4, 2015

An essay on the use of music Part III: Crush Dream Playlist Songs

I'm writing about the songs in no particular order:

1.) "All The Beauty" by Jani R. from the album "Collision" from 2013. This is a more recent addition to the "Crush" playlist. It is a beautiful ambient track with a nocturnal urban atmosphere. The emotions I discern are sadness, uncertainty, and the idea that someone is trying to hold their head up when they feel just "this" shy of being completely engulfed by hopelessness. This can apply to both Tammy and Jamie. It captures their meloncholia very well. It's more of a mood in general than a specific scene in the book.

2.) "Crush" by The Smashing Pumpkins, from their 1991 album Gish. The Pumpkins are a personal favorite of mine, so it was only obviously I was going to try to include them into at least one of my book playlists, and the most obvious choice of all of course is "Crush." This is the unofficial "title track" of my playlist. Just look at the lyrics:

"You wrap your arms around
A feeling that surrounds
Like a liquid peppermint
Just taste the drinks that she served

And this feeling shivers down your spine
Love comes in colors I can't deny
All that matters is love, love, your love"

3.) "Stripped" by Depeche Mode, from 1986's Black Celebration. A longtime fan of this English trailblazer, I knew I'd be using at least one of their songs for inspiration. The song isn't about stripping your clothing off. It's about having the courage to become vulnerable in front of someone who could really hurt you if they are an asshole. It's about taking the ultimate risk and exposing your deepest secrets to someone you really love but don't necessarily trust.

4.) "Window Seat" by Erykah Badu. Easily this is a song about craving isolation from the human race. It's about frustration and the uncertainty of love. Is this person meeting my needs? Is this person bringing out the best in me. Is this person going to build me up, or is this person destructive? All this, and obviously the singer does love the person she's singing to, even while needing to seek refuge in solitude for a while. During their moments of worst crisis, both Tammy and Jamie feel the need to retreat into their shells from each other.

5.) "You Don't Have To Be Afraid" by Kaki King from 2006's ...Until We Felt Red. This deceptively simple guitar-driven masterpiece easily describes the process in which both Tammy and Jamie learn to face their fears of each other and of intimacy. They learn to "own" their scars, and to acknowledge that the scars are not a result of anything they did, but rather of things evil people have done to them. They learn to be strong, and to understand that they are stronger due to the things that they can't change. As the song metamporphoses from a tender, childlike guitar ballad to a stronger, assured, more adult-sounding theme, you can almost "see" Tammy and Jamie growing into the good people they are, affirming that the evil that was done to them did not destroy them at all.

6.) Oomingmak by Cocteau Twins from the 1986 album Victorialand...Because the Cocteau Twins are known as a sort of "nonsensical lyrical" group most of the time, it's hard to be sure what the lyrics truly mean, but for me personally, the song fits because of its magical, ethereal quality, describing a dreamland that can only be found in the minds of teenagers experiencing their first crush and their first love. There's nothing like it anywhere in the universe. You never forget your first crush or your first love. I can picture Tammy and Jamie wandering the campus of their high school in dazed states, day after day, dreaming of a time when they can talk to each other and be real with each other without people staring at them, making hateful comments, planning evil schemes...

7.) "Angel" by Violet Indiana from 2001's Roulette. This is an unbearably sexy song and it's the only choice for the moment in which Jamie gives his virginity to Tammy on the night before Christmas 2011. Like many songs on my Crush playlist, it's eerie, mysterious, ethereal, unworldly, heavenly. The title alone says it all.

8.) "Only When I Lose Myself" by Depeche Mode, from 1990's Violator. The lyrics of this love song are all about truly being in love with "the one". The one person who makes you know who you really are. It's a song about being soul mates. It's also a song about loving someone so much that even if loving them poses the risk of danger or death, it's worth it.

9.) "I Only Have Eyes For You" by the Flamingos. This is a song written in the early 1930s, and has been covered by everyone from Rosemary Clooney to Art Garfunkel, but the most popular version is clearly this "jammin' oldie" by the Flamingos. This song actually "appears" in Crush as the song Tammy sings to [[cough cough]] his girlfriend Yvette Battle, having been inspired by an earlier karaoke performance by Jamie and his best friend Stacy Pendleton. Who is Tammy really singing to???

10.) "The Warrior" by Scandal feat. Patti Smyth, from the 1984 album Warrior. Speak of the devil, here it is, the amazing song that Jamie and Stacy sang. This 80s song has long been a personal favorite of mine. Flamboyant, sexy, larger than life. No wonder Tammy fell in love.

11.) "Pale September" by Fiona Apple, from the 1996 album Tidal. This is the song that happens during the very first time Tammy becomes aware that Jamie exists, and vice versa. It's the scene in which they hold hands during a regular church prayer. Their hands touch, then their eyes touch. The rest is history. The lyrics of this lovely song describe someone who "knew" they'd never know what love feels like suddenly realizing that what they "knew" is false. It's about discovering that there is hope for yourself after all you've been through, that you have the capacity to love someone, that you are not damaged beyond all repair.

12.) "Precious" by Birdie Wing. This is actually my own creation under my own musical pseudonym. I made this short melody with the Aviary Music program before they took it away from us. It's the childhood theme of when Tammy first met Jamie in the grocery store.

13.) "Licorice" by MF Doom, from the 2006 collection Special Herbs. This is one of those strange choices I made. It's hiphop, clearly East Coast flavored, with multiple samples from older songs, but its lack of singing or lyrics is part of the appeal for me. It has a sad, semi sinister mood to it, which cemented it for me as the music of the misery Tammy endured while being questioned by the police after the disappearance of Jamie on New Year's Eve Eve 2011.

14.) "Crushed" by Cocteau Twins, from 1987's Lonely Is An Eyesore. This song sounds cheerful in its melody, but at the same time, there is an undercurrent of something darker. I always pictured this one as an "opening titles" sequence for an imaginary movie about Crush.

15.) "Deja Vu" by Dionne Warwick, from the 1979 album Dionne. An old favorite of mine, this song obviously describes running into someone you love after years of separation. Enigmatic, sexy, elusive...Duh...it's during the scene in which Jamie sees Tammy in a grocery store after not having seen him in 16 years. And it's a song I once heard playing overhead in a grocery store. Perfect. I always thought the original edit was far too short, so imagine my delight when I found the "extended version" which took it from a measly 3 mins. or so to over 5 mins. :D

16.) "This Charming Man" by the Smiths, from their self titled 1984 album. A new wave classic that perfectly describes someone's crush on a really good looking guy. It could be told from either Tammy's or Jamie's POV.

17.) "Stand Inside Your Love" by The Smashing Pumpkins, from 2000's Machina. This is an amazingly lovable song about, what else? Love. Sure the music video to this song was...strange to say the least, but the lyrics are completely romantic, maniacally sentimental, and the stuff of a fever dream you'd hate to wake up from. The melody and guitar solo are sublime, but for me, the lyrics are what really make it a masterpiece.

18.) "Mermaid Song" by Sarah Khider from the 2011 album Ouh! Ah! This is the song I play in my head when Tammy and Jamie decide to take a nice rest in Fort Bragg (months before they decide to move there forever). This is a lovely, romantic ballad all about the shared love of the ocean and of each other.

19.) "Oh, Honey" by UK R&B group the Delegation, from 1977's The Promise of Love. The lyrics of this song seem to be focused on a girlfriend, but it's such a sweet song that I found no difficulty playing it in my noggin during the scenes in which Tammy and Jamie swim and flirt in Ray's pool the night before Tammy leaves for UCLA.

20.) "Cherish The Day" by Sade, from 1992's Love Deluxe and by Robert Glasper and Lalah Hathaway, from the 2012 album Black Radio. I liked both versions of this Sade song, so I included them both. What can I say? It's a song about being madly in love.

Part IV of my music analysis next blog!!!
:D
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Published on March 04, 2015 19:20

An essay on the use of music Part II: Crush Dream Playlist/Soundtrack

I began to put Crush onto notebook paper sometime in August 2010...I'm so bad at keeping exact dates. How did I know what I was doing...randomly scribbling...would turn into what it turned into. Crush was originally intended to be nothing more than a writer's way of "venting". Crush began as a tragic, dark story that wouldn't get any better by the end. At that time, I'd entertained no plans to publish the story. I've been writing various renditions of novels for many years, but I had all but given up on my silly pipe dream of ever being published. Now,here I was, sick, injured, disabled, forced to give up nursing, penniless, forced to move in with family members I've never gotten on with. My healthcare career finished after only 16 years, I felt like I would die of depression or prescription drug overdose. I was in constant physical and emotional pain. I just felt worthless. So I began to write my short story.

But then something happened. I listened to my radio. Back then, I had no laptop to call my own. I would have to go to the public library downtown, wait in line to use a computer for 30 mins. per session, give it up for the next user, and then wait all over again for my next turn. That's hard for a writer who's got the whole chapter bubbling in her brain!

So the best creative output happened thus: I'd leave the library and return home to my computerless bedroom, and I'd write in notebooks while listening to 97.9 FM Fresno's Jammin' Oldies, a barrage of 50s soul, 70s disco and funk, 80s old school, 90s New Jack Swing, slow jams and hiphop, millenial rap battles and diva anthems, and 2010s top 40 by Rihanna, Katy Perry, Kelly Rowland, Lady Gaga, and others. Being a 40 year old fart, I couldn't really relate to what the Millenials were singing about, but I liked the melodies of many of their songs, like Teenage Dream, The Only Girl In The World, Bad Romance, Motivation and (gasp!) Sex Room by Ludacris and Trey Songz, the latter two of which ended up on my playlist because of the prettiness of the instrumentation and melody. Yeah, Sex Room is a raunchy ass song, but I still like the melody.

When I was not in the mood to listen to old school jammin' oldies, I liked to go to a left end station that played anything considered alternative from the current top 40, including 70s and 80s new wave hits that had been all but forgotten, neo-classical, transe, etc.

I managed to accomplish a feat previously unheard of for me: write the novel from Aug. 2010 to April 2011...8 months!!! before applying additions and edits over and over again until I met my UK publishers in March 2012. Needless to say, the music I had listened to during the shaping of Crush in my cerebral womb transformed it from a bleak, hopeless, sinister romance to a life affirming, triumphant story of good extinguishing evil and love destroying bigotry. The music I listened to while penning my novel Crush will forever be a part of Crush, so without further tangentism, let's talk about those songs in my next blog post, yeah? :)
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Published on March 04, 2015 17:21

An essay on the use of music Part I: The ALIEN Franchise

How wonderful and important is the audible language of emotion? To many authors, including myself, indescribably and vitally. Often times, the reason I end up loving a motion picture or TV show or even a song itself is the music. Oftentimes, it's the melody I love first, and the lyrics second. Sometimes I love the melody while I detest the lyrics. Here are some examples that have recently come to mind: I LOVE the ALIEN movie franchise. Why? Mainly because Ripley is a badass and I have a girl crush on Sigourney Weaver. I'm talking, I wish I could BE her, almost 6 feet tall, willowy, graceful, feminine, and yet when it's time to be a bad motherfucker, she does it better than even (gasp!) Sarah Connah! But let's get back to music. The musical score from the very first Alien film (Ridley Scott, 1979) is so beautiful, so wondrous, and yet so menacing at times, that it pours the emotion and tension into scenes that would have lacked without this music, no matter how scary or gory they are. Jerry Goldsmith's score is brilliant, a rainbow of different sensations. While I loved the music of Aliens by James Cameron (1986), I have to admit that James Horner's stuff was a little too upbeat, or reminiscent of "Wrath of Khan", which Horner scored 2 years earlier. The one exception is "The Queen"...a sinister piece consisting of a continuous "droning" and "buzzing" that increases in volume and severity as Ripley and her little friend Newt encounter the fearsome matriarch of the savage xenomorph family inhabiting LV426. As many fans, I didn't care for Alien 3 or Alien Resurrection as much as I did for the first 2 films, although I admit to liking them for each of their positive contributions. Alien 3 had beautiful, haunting, Catholic-esque choral arrangements by Elliot Goldenthal, and Alien 4 (Rez) had an amazing, evocative, and rather sensual score from John Frizzell, and I actually found myself liking Frizzell's stuff better than Horner's or Goldenthal's. Here is a fun slideshow I made with stills and promo shots/posters from the franchise...its main purpose is just to share how each movie's music affected me, and how it's easy to connect Prometheus and its upcoming sequels to the existing Alien films as well as the newest Alien film that was just announced within the past week or so:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQNXR...

I am going to try to post another 2 blogs today about music and how I chose certain pieces for my Crush and Bright dream playlists :)
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Published on March 04, 2015 09:06

March 2, 2015

Guest Author Trisha Harrington!!!

Yep, I'm trying my hand at interviewing, and my very first guest author is Trisha Harrington, author of OUR FIRST ANNIVERSARY.

http://www.the-house-on-glass-beach.c...
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Published on March 02, 2015 01:18

February 26, 2015

UK Crush now on Smashwords/Still looking for Bright feedback

Hello all,

Sorry it's been a while. It's been a shockingly but wonderfully slow, nice, mostly uneventful February. It seems like so long since the new cover for "Crush" was launched, yet it hasn't even been a month! I've been in a pleasant haze of watching funny youtube videos, trying to keep the dreaded seasonal depression at bay. But I would like to thank several people for the beautiful new cover art: Regina Wamba of Mae I Design (I'll post a link to her site below), the talented photographer and graphic artist who designed Crush's beautiful new look; models Bryden Giving and Eli Schwartzman for giving faces to Tammy & Jamie; fellow author Trisha Harrington (who will be my first author interview on my new blog site!) for introducing me to Regina's amazing talent, and Debbie McGowan and the staff of Beaten Track Publishing for helping me with the things I am NOT talented at, such as editing and formatting Crush to look beautiful and professional inside as well as out :D Because I prefer the UK version to the older USA version, I have arranged to have the UK version available on Smashwords for the first time. Don't worry about vast differences. The only differences are that words like "color" are spelled "colour" and "center" spelled "centre." No big deal!

I have received wonderful feedback on my 2nd book Bright, but I can always use more beta readers, so please contact me here on GR or email me: lsjohnson8888@gmail.com, and I will send you a mobi or pdf at no charge!

Check out my new blog site at:
http://www.the-house-on-glass-beach.com

(I will be posting my first author interview with Trisha Harrington on 1 March 2015! Also, if you are a writer and would like to be interviewed for my blog site, please contact me as directed above :D

Regina Wamba/Mae I Design:
http://www.maeidesign.com/

Author Trisha Harrington:
http://trishaharringtonsblog.blogspot...

Crush on Smashwords:
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...
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Published on February 26, 2015 01:24

January 29, 2015

Apologies...

Apologies...Instead of the free giveaway I was going to do on Smashwords until after VDay, I have decided to take a different route and call for beta readers. I would love beta readers to give my 2nd book BRIGHT a go. If you're friends with me on Facebook, PM me, or email me: lsjohnson8888@gmail.com or even contact me here on Goodreads https://www.goodreads.com/…/show/5760...
and I will send you a free ebook of Bright!
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Published on January 29, 2015 15:58

Crush paperbacks available!

I am also giving away paperback copies of Crush from Lulu and CreateSpace. There are 1 of the CS version and 2 of the Lulu version available. These are USA editions btw. I am planning soon to discontinue the Lulu versions of Crush soon, and then the CreateSpace versions later in 2015, so if you want these rare USA editions of Crush, I will be giving them away to the first 4 people who message me here on Goodreads.

And finally, there is something exciting coming up. Here's a little teaser to whet your appetite ;)



"Late in the afternoon the day before our wedding, as a gift to Jamie, I take him to a professional photographer down the street from our hotel, and we have private photos taken of us naked, wrapped only in diaphanous white satin.
Jamie is apprehensive. I can see the memories in his eyes, the way he looks at the man behind the camera. 'This isn’t pornography,' I inform him gently. “These are portraits, private portraits, of you and me. And the only ones who will share them are you and me.'
“'Don’t pose,'” the photographer says as adjusts his settings and zooms. “Just be yourselves. Just do your thing.'”
...the sheet of white satin, so snowy pure that the folds and shadows appear light blue...."
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Published on January 29, 2015 01:22

December 23, 2014

Bright for the holidays!!!

Happy Holidays everyone! I added a few improvements to BRIGHT and I'm giving it away FREE from today till Dec. 26th!!! Use code AL42V when you checkout!!! https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...
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Published on December 23, 2014 07:16

November 23, 2014

BOUGHS OF EVERGREEN giveaway!!!

Get your copy...ends after November 27th!!!






Goodreads Book Giveaway



Boughs of Evergreen by Larry Benjamin




Boughs of Evergreen


by Larry Benjamin




Giveaway ends November 27, 2014.



See the giveaway details
at Goodreads.






Enter to win








Goodreads Book Giveaway



Boughs of Evergreen by S.H. Allan




Boughs of Evergreen


by S.H. Allan




Giveaway ends November 27, 2014.



See the giveaway details
at Goodreads.






Enter to win


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Published on November 23, 2014 09:41

November 21, 2014

New Book Trailers, Including for BOUGHS OF EVERGREEN!

Hi all, I've really been slacking off on blogging here on GR lately and I'm so sorry because there have been so many exciting things happening! Among them, I am working with a gifted photographer on a new cover concept for Crush; I've created several new Crush and Bright related videos in the past 24 hours LOL; and most of all, today is the RELEASE DATE for "Boughs of Evergreen" which is a brand new LGBTQ-themed anthology of short stories about the celebration of so many diverse national and international holidays, such as Christmas, Thanksgiving, St. Lucia's Day, Winter Solstice, Saturnalia, Kwanzaa, and those 8 crazy nights!!! Please tell your friends about this wonderful collection of short stories, because all proceeds go to help The Trevor Project in their wonderful and important work helping LGBTQ youth in crisis!!!

The book trailer for BOUGHS OF EVERGREEN, along with my other books, can be found here on GR:
https://www.goodreads.com/videos/list...
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Published on November 21, 2014 06:29