Nelson Lowhim's Blog, page 104

This Election, The Clintons, & What is Evil

There have been several enjoyable moments during this campaign season. One was the fact that a reality show star decided to come out and  take advantage of the inherent weaknesses of the process of choosing a candidate. A process which some cheerleaders of neoliberalism, such as The Economist, have continuously hailed as the best democratic show in the world. Well, they had one word right. Said reality show star came forth and out-maneuvered everyone and made it out of the primaries.

I, however, have been thinking about my role in all this, my time served in Iraq, and how that makes us veterans complicit [1] in continuing those actions. I just watched a short documentary on an organization, Voices in the Wilderness , [2] breaking the embargo of the 1990s and getting medicine to the Iraqi people who were under siege. 
I'm thinking back on that time because it's often overlooked today when we think about Iraq. The war and subsequent occupation of that country is talked about to this day, but the disaster before that is not. Let me put aside the policy itself and simply speak of the reactions of us citizens... because sooner or later we will have to answer to the next generation as to why we stood by so silently.
And I'm not sure why. I know I heard it all, but the air of everyone around me, back then in the roaring 90s, was that it was not an issue, or that it was Saddam's fault (I think I heard that one several times) or that this was how geo-politics was carried out. Such easy excuses always at our lips. And that, as a middle class teenager, was how I came into the world. Interesting to think that for such an evil act to happen, we as a nation merely shrugged. 
I do remember one kid in our high school who actually cared and was thus ostracized. He called the siege on Iraq, and the convenient bombing raids that Clinton carried out, what they were: murder of women and children. I think I shrugged at that, as only a teenager who was not quite used to his environment could. I also think I shamelessly spouted the official lines and the newspapers' opinion pieces verbatim. Perhaps I thought they signified my independence. Actually, I'm sure I did. 
Who knows what goes through a teenager's mind. Hard to look back at oneself and see much else but an absorptive brain working as a function of all input at home and in school. Combine that with the thought of breaking free from the bonds and it only meant that I said such unoriginal lines with the certainty of being original. 
This kid, now looking back, seems to have been the only one with moral courage. His mistake was to speak out and say something to the effect of if Clinton were standing next to him, he would not hesitate to hurt him for killing those children. Of course, the twittering classes that made up our middle class school were up in arms. Police were called in, as were the Secret Service. Of course it was nothing, but my classmates also tried to have him removed from the National Honor Society.
I was part of this idiotic organization, and I removed myself from it, not wanting to be with such clutch-my-pearls teens. Of course, I look back now and wonder why I didn't do more. Why I didn't ask more questions. Read books on the issue that caused the ruckus. 
It can only be said that I lacked moral courage. That middle class blood can cause one to obey a little too easily. But now, of course, it all seems like performance art of some other world filled with ignorant people—to include myself. To be honest, even watching the world today does.
This isn't an attempt to cry or whine. It's merely me trying to think through how to fight complacency when one's government is doing so much wrong. And the 90s is certainly an example of this.
[1] To say nothing of our role vis a vis the civilians we face o nce we get out, and their seemingly simplistic reactions to us. 
[2] It takes a lot of moral courage to do so, and I applaud their efforts there. Apparently a federal judge made them pay a fine for this transgression. Ah, simply another sign of our justice system with one set of laws for the powerful and another for the rest of us—especially those doing good.
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Some Thoughts on Veterans (my comments in bold)

(2/4) “The 2nd Battle of Fallujah began on November 8th, 2004. The plan basically called for the entire 1st Marine Division to form a giant line and advance through Fallujah from north to south. The city was overrun with insurgents. My company commander ordered the platoon that I led to establish a forward position. Forty-six of us snuck across a highway at 3 AM to seize a building 150 meters in front of everyone else. It was a candy store. The guys were excited at first because the place was filled with chips and soda. And we were starving and thirsty. But all hell broke loose when the sun came up. RPG’s started slamming into the side of the building. We could see guys in black sneaking up all around us. My platoon sergeant was shot through the helmet and knocked unconscious. Another of our guys got shot in the femoral artery and his blood covered the floors. And we couldn’t get out. Every exit was dialed in with machine gun fire. You couldn’t even poke your head out. We were pinned down all day. And suddenly my company commander is on the radio saying that we’ve got to advance. And I’m shouting into the radio over the gunfire that we're probably going to die if we leave the store. I’m shouting so loud and for so long that I lost my voice for four days. But he’s saying that we have no choice. He’s being pressured by his commanders, all the way up to the generals. And the generals are being pressured by the White House. And all my guys are looking at me because they know if I lose that argument, we're going out there. And I lose the argument. And I tell them that we have to go. But instead of running out the door, we piled a bunch of explosives on the back wall, and we blew it out. And we ran. And everyone survived. Twenty-five guys were wounded, but everyone survived. A lot of that was luck. And a lot of that was our platoon and how good those guys were. But I also feel that my decisions mattered that day. And if I had decided not to serve, and stayed home, it could've ended much worse. So no, I don't have any regrets about going to Iraq.”A photo posted by Humans of New York (@humansofny) on Aug 10, 2016 at 1:00pm PDT

I'm going to write more on veterans, how we're treated in the world and the veteran-civilian divide, but let me comment on this first. Here we have something of what I expect from the world when a person says something about the war. Below are some of the comments:



monztulcey@rachel.ical read this onek_g_r7You are a brave man, thank you for defending and protecting our country.czy_1Courage. Wisdom. Ingenuity. And then some.zahra.siddiquia@kevin_oconnor2095 What absolute rubbish. Your ignorance is overwhelming, Kevin. If you understand what it means to defend your people, surely you'd understand what it means to the Iraqi people to defend themselves against invaders who have destroyed their country. Surely, you can't be so blinded by your ignorance to realise what you're actually saying.dannymack12@dick_chevy13 @mikep1210ro_jo95This is awesome. True American hero @maryhelenjoneslailygulWow a very different perspective I've never come across before thank you for sharing your storyerikaoakvik@courtney_mjohn - we can never thank our servicemen and women enough.virginiavk@anthony_minor Interesting, so why not go and give this dictator a hand at murdering people? :/ That's not even the real reason behind that war, just a false pretext: there were true genocides happening in Rwanda and the Balkans, and I don't recall the US intervention... Guess there was no interest at all to play superhero in those cases. Tell me how Iraq's situation has improved after that? I would not have taken the time to reply if you (as many others) simply defended war as mechanism to solve a conflict, but to imply this was a humanitarian intervention?!? You make me laugh... US has only a slight idea of what war really is because of their veterans, but the society in general is completely clueless: you have not seen war for centuries. You just have this tendency of going to other countries and create chaos, which is why many talk about war as if they were playing a video game: you have not seen your entire town tear to pieces, your family dead, you're whole live interrupted. I don't deny that some probably think they are doing the right thing, but how many ISIS do we need to create before realizing that societies also need to follow their natural course of evolution? That you can not impose change nor your values through force?kellie.sanfordThank you thank you! You are a hero and so much more!samar_zwaylifThese posts will bring a lot of negative feelings to a lot of people, these wars are stil fresh and their consequences experienced by many all around the world.. Soldiers and civilians.. Don't think it's a good idea to remind anyone of them now :/ as an iraqi who was a kid during that war i don't hate this man or any other soldier that was following orders but i can't bring myself to accept the 'regret' comment either.peteramahonyIts certainly true that socioeconomic status, education, etc in America is unfair, but that's not the point you should take away from this and not a reason to give him a hard time. If you reeally want to convince yourself that those people who have had the luxury of a higher education are equally as likely to make good decisions when there are lives on the line... as somebody uneducated... well... Thats just a bit dense. I think he's just stating fact. (This is also coming from somebody without a college education).georgemm90@b_b_03mommacantlinThank you for your service. Thank you for your perspective. But I am scared there are 2 more posts to come..hakadhHero complex ..?etemi@worstmomri Totally agree. I thought it was just me. Hoping next segment disproves this impression.auntiedru623Thank you for your story and most of all thank you for your service!!!!niamhquilty@rebeccadooley7katiesjourneytoabetterlife@alittlemeg I don't think you make those "who have been raised to hate and kill for not other reason than that's what they were taught" see the error of their ways by waging war on their country. Neither Afghanistan not Iraq had anything to do with 9/11. And both countries have been suffering for over a decade now. Completely unstable. That has also something to do with the hatred some people there feel towards the Western countries. There are no easy solutions, but I do think we have to go at it from more different perspectives than just a military one. In my view that only increases hatred, because if you're suffering, if you've lost family members, friends, your home, a safe place to live, some people need to put the blame on somebody and I believe the wars in the Middle East have rather increased extremism and done quite the opposite of wanting to make the world a safer place.remoteviewerwpa@elliotdaljungberg as my brother often says, i don't know sh*t about being in the army, but is there a difference between seizing a building and hanging out in it eating candy/drinking soda while an enemy squad sneaks up on you? it just sounds like an erroneous disadvantage.

Modern Humans, Conspiracies & Belief.

A friend of mine was the ultimate conspiracist. No, he wasn't  paranoid, wasn't even an atheist (the real conspiracy theorists). See, he subscribed to the same anarchist Christian theory as Tolstoy did, except my friend went a step further and considered the moment Constantinople accepted Christianity as the moment it was corrupted.

Funny thing, was he was a programmer, and I never saw these things as anything but dissonant from the other views he held. Let me provide an example. He thought of astrology as a field full of charlatans. Not that he was geocentric or anything like that, but rather that he subscribed tot he theory that stars were representations of dead gods. That the dead gods were not all holy and powerful, but mixed in with demigods, those semi-important people of history, only made his theory more outlandish to me, while these details made them more in touch with reality to him.
I would rarely challenge him, though, because the first time that I did, he showed me a whole desk full of literature backing his view and disproving others'. 
Which brings us to another view of his (though he didn't seem to subscribe to it unless it was convenient). That the modern citizen should keep his/her mind open to all evidence. And though I agreed with this, I really was of the mind that to really do so was to ask for a mental breakdown as there was so much tripe and fake evidence out there, that one couldn't possibly evaluate even a modicum of any issue. And even if the end result of this is that we end up looking for fake prophets (secular or otherwise) who would at least tell us something true, this method is not without its flaws. 
When the prophets become the focal points of interest, the powers that be become aware and soon corruption or fear (yes, it's binary) rule the roost instead of facts. Who to trust then? This would be the main point of contention between us. 
Sadly, it's easy for me to see that faith and conspiracy can be an acceptable outcome when the other choice is just as nihilistic. Of course, the question then is: where does that leave us as a nation, as a group of people? Is the status quo as good as it gets?
I'm not sure, but since my friend is otherwise a good person to hang out with, I have decided to accept this theory of his. Hard to find good friends these days, so what does some ephemeral theory matter to me then?
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The Left & Trump

I was going to say something about the whole reaction to Trump. I suppose I've been more patient than most because I'm not a fan of the center left [1] and think that their condescending mocking of Trump has mainly been about etiquette. But I cannot stay above the fray much longer, even if I think that some of the reasons against Trump are unfair. There are too many examples of those following Trump and things that he have said that point to a xenophobia that is dangerous, too dangerous for this nation. [2]

I know that Chris Hedges comes across as a firebrand. Nevertheless, while I certainly have issues with some of his arguments [3], but much of what he has said has come to pass. Not to mention that he is a humanitarian who walks the walk, spending as much air time to speak to those disenfranchised today. 
In the video you can see the main point of contention is not on the state of the nation [4] but what to do now. It does seem like a genuinely hard question to answer, with both sides holding strong beliefs. Indeed, there are many similarities between Obama and Bush (in some policies), but how does one equate the two? What about Hillary and Trump. 
Unfortunately the debate only further cements my view that face to face debates need to be augmented with some technology to make them more than two shouting matches, or a time for bumper sticker slogans. 
But on the matter of the two choices we have for President, there are real issues on the table that should affect the choice. That the main powers that be will be siding with Hillary should give any progressive a moment's pause. So too should the coalition of neo-liberals and hawkish neo-cons, that seems to be the natural gang against Trump. Yet, one look at how Trump deals with protesters and the people at his speeches should not only make one think twice, but also know that domestically he is calling for something like a war. And even if he isn't doing that for overseas wars, he really does, and thus can't be believed to be an "anti-stupid war" candidate. 
In the end, one can only say that the debate will continue ( a good example being right here ), and I certainly will put in my two cents when the moment comes. I, for one, think that  between Trump Hillary race only, I will vote for the former. Hell, Chomsky thinks the same . But I also realize that I haven't thought it entirely through. I will post it when I do. Your thoughts?
Update: I do want to add another point that I'm not saying that feelings don't count. Most people will vote on some triangulation of feelings and hearing what people they trust say (and that too is tied into what people think of themselves, where they stand on the social ladder, how far they want to get and, ultimately, the mannerisms of the candidate) [5]. Otherwise it's simply impossible for any one to go through all the policies and what powerful people are backing what candidate. And being what it is, some people will have pet issues that matter more to them.


[1] Looking, with all their  references to Reagan to grab as many center right wingers as possible; though I hope that they are not leaning towards the right, as much as they may want to (it's my belief that Obama and even Hillary are products of the Reagan shift to the right and really do harbor a lot of love for the center right views of that time. I don't think this is with any evidence, simply products of their time (and, to be fair, the left was decimated pretty well at the time). There is hope that Hillary is the same person who tried for single payer way back when—that she is only moving to the right in a strategic manner after that defeat, hence her friends in power—but that remains to be seen. 
[2] Again, I'll get into it, but some of the other things he has said are not as dangerous, and yet are treated as such. I'll also note that the people on the right who hate him, only think that because they think him a NYC liberal.
[3] Not from the video, but mainly from many of his books I've read. He's good, and has a lot of fire in his arguments, but it can mean a certain specificity is missing. I will also say that even some of my left-leaning friends don't like him, but that's more a matter of presentation than anything (he is radical and isn't afraid to say so). 
[4] Very refreshing since the it's very disingenuous to see the likes of the NYtimes etc to claim the economy is A-OK. It isn't. And even if people like me see that it's the Republicans with their odd need for austerity that's to blame, I won't let the Democrats off the hook that easily. It's not like they've been out fighting for the little guy, hence how Trump has come about.

[5] I'll go so far as to say that I'm now a big proponent of mandatory voting. Everyone should vote since there appear to be too many interested in making sure certain people don't vote. 
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Some Cheese, Please.

Well, I'm not one to complain too much about the solitary aspects of writing [1], but I will note it. Blessed are the fans who reach out and claim that my writing has changed them. Not always in the way I wish, of course. Books like The Struggle still reach out to those who know little about the Iraq war but also to those going out there to fight another futile war. 

For those readers worried about when the next book will be out, please don't fret. It's coming. [2] My shorts, still a focal point, will be coming out as well. I think I mentioned how there has been something of a moment of truth with respect to the kind of writing I've been looking at. There have been more pseudo essays, certainly, but I wonder if I can come up with a proper combination of multiple narratives (that representation of an especially fragmented and fractal world that we find ourselves in today) and stories that a single page needs to hold.
I'm hoping that poetry might hold some solutions, but I'm not entirely certain. Nevertheless, I sense that something will come of this. So don't fret, more will be coming out soon.



[1] Nor will I dive into the whole issue about social media making writing anything but a solitary affair, making it anything but what we once knew and thought about it. Not that I'm disparaging this, it's merely a seismic change to how many of us view writing. I might be writing more and more about this. 
[2] And I'll make sure that this blog does not devolve into a journal, though if it contributes to telling a story I will not deny that either. 
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More on Art and Seattle and that Which Moves Us

I recently came back and posted about a trip to the western part of Washington state. In the trip my partner and I managed to visit the wilds of Olympic National Park and even touched up on the great metropolis of Seattle [1]. I want to talk about Seattle and how seeing art there was a breath of fresh air. I think I mentioned how I saw simplistic graffiti in the form of "'All Lies Matter'—Trump", an innovative way to make a statement about our first, truly, post-modern presidential candidate. But let me instead focus on the different types of art I saw, what they signified to me—and others and the artist.  Street Art in Seattle  Aborigine Art in SAMThe Aborigine art I saw, was especially inspiring. Much of it spoke of myths or of where water could be found and so forth. The idea here is that art is more than just something aesthetic, but can represent so much more. I've also read about African Art and how it too can use abstract pieces to tell a story or store information. All very interesting and it certainly breaks down the walls that try to hold art within a constricting definition. [2] 
Aborigine Art (this one representing the lines left over from rainwater. This isn't to say much about the pieces other than how they pushed me to think of art as something different. In other words, an ode to museums everywhere that inspire. And to also say that street art alone doesn't complete the idea of art, even if it contributes much to it. 
Print seen in an Art GalleryI'll even mention the art galleries I visited and how they too were very interesting and inspiring. But in the end they didn't seem so thought-provoking, leaning more to the aesthetic than anything else. But that too has its place under the umbrella of art.   Heart shaped Teapot in Art GalleryBut, after all the art I had to stop and think about the building of the Seattle Public Library I enjoyed so much. Though, of course, the building housed many books of lasting import, there was a sterility to it that did not speak to the humans that used the building. What am I trying to say?
More Views from Seattle Public LibraryYou see, my main point is that a library so beautiful and vast and that claims to serve the people needs a place for street art. I'll note that it has plenty of art from approved artists, and though this kind of art is important, I wonder if they're missing out by not allowing the patrons to draw some art on the walls. Now, I'm not saying that everyone should be allowed to write anything on any wall, but what about some select walls? 
Thing is, I'm still of the mind that trying to keep art to only certain places with certain topics or from certain people is more than artificial. Certainly there can be official places for art. But there also needs to be other places for it. And it should be allowed wherever it can (and without permission). [3]After all, what is art? It's an expression of the human soul, a form of communication between us all. So should it not be allowed in more places? I think so, but I'd like to know what people think on this matter.




[1] Though my issues with this city were as strong as ever, being that it seems that it too has a minimal public transport system. Buses, sure, but what else? And like many American cities it seems to be more and more 3rd world in the sense that it has meekly accepted traffic snarls or stau as part of life instead of finding a proper solution for it.
[2] And yet the argument would be, what do I really get out of these stories other than another aesthetic?
[3] I'm thinking now of the tall park bench I saw, too high for anyone to even touch, and how the sign that said "1%" seemed to speak volumes about our society today. Not that all art should say something political. This piece was emplaced without permission and duly removed. Sad, that. 
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My Trip & Books Read

I mentioned how I'm trying to read more as I write even more (though admittedly less than before). I mentioned The Sympathizer , a book that was solid, but hasn't done well with my filter of time[1]. I suppose I hoped that it would say more than the standard semi-hawkish view, but it really didn't.  Olympic National Park: this natural beauty did not help the books I read.
I also read Beowulf , and was thoroughly underwhelmed by it. I'm probably being unfair by comparing it to other epics, but I felt it rather weak and straightforward. It had nowhere near the complexity of the Iliad. Nor did it have a modicum of tension. Sad. And most likely an example of my own failings more than anything. But it was interesting to see certain memes and hopes that I remember from more simplistic times in the Army and certain jingoistic circles. 
So it goes. But my reach into the past has been a necessary (and on my part unwanted) move. I've been trying to see what my fellow contemporary writers are able to say. And so far much of it has been useless. I can see it in the reaction to modern day demagogues. All my fellow writers—at least those in the luxurious stables of the literary powers—seem to be too silly to think much through. I'm not surprised, just disappointed. 
Which brings me to another writer, Cynthia Ozick. My fiancé bought her book since DFW [2] highly recommended it. I read a few essays of hers, and though one can also see her intelligence, it doesn't go anywhere. [3] Or rather, it shows much knowledge, but it seems to be in pieces, and if there's any underlying theory, it reeks of narrow-mindedness. 
This accusation of narrow-mindedness I felt immediately, but read on, as she is at least erudite. Still, a quick Internet search brought this gem of an essay to light and confirmed my suspicions [4]. That the New York Times soon after wrote a hagiography  [5] about her, only further cemented my views about the literary gatekeepers of our times. 
So it goes. But it does make me wonder what to make of Ozick. I suppose I should read more of her work. That would only be fair. This would also extend to her the same open view she did to people in the past who were anti-semitic, but great writers. Or would that be capitulating? An interesting question that I hope to parse more in the future. What are your thoughts on the matter?

[1] Now, my partner claims that I cannot change my mind in such a way, but all books, and especially classics, tend to grow as the distance apart, in terms of time since last read, grows as well. Many books have a moment of glory, then fall apart as they don't speak to any deeper truths in life and don't resonate in the lives we live. Classics do resonate, even if we hate them. 
[2] I will read more of his work before I comment, but much that I've read borders on shallow. Very talented, but shallow. I still find it hard to believe that people think of him as one of the greats. Again, this reaction of mine probably speaks to my own prejudices as I can only imagine someone who subscribes to a  particularly benign suburban ideology would gain any insight from his words. Even his interviews seem lacking. That being said, people who are much smarter than I like him. So I must be missing something. What is it?
[3] That's not to say that you shouldn't buy or read her work. It still has much to it. Her essay on Dostoevsky is worth the price alone. 
[4] I'm not the only one to react in this manner to such an absurd essay that can, at best, be considered the product of a tribal mind. 
[5] Again, this isn't an original view, as others have had it. I would try to go so far as to highlight that very certain insider/establishment attitude in this article by the Times I've also seen in our election's reaction to Bernie and Trump, but that's far outside the purview of this post. 
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Seattle and Art

I've been enjoying the western edges of my newest state, Washington. Beautiful place this, though the weather has certainly been to my liking. I'm in the city, now, and enjoying the bustle of human activity after the masses of other organic matter in Olympic Park and south of the Cascades. I've grown tired of hikes, but the contrast of those two types of environments has been great for my writing. 
Seattle Public Library
Not that this has been the only thing to inspire me during this trip to Seattle. I also visited SAM , another great place. It makes up for it's small size with a varied and still deep collection. I was especially taken by the contemporary and aborigine art. The latter was filled stories and art as a map—both spiritual and material—that simply lingered in my mind. 
One particular story was about a rock hole (place where water feeds sweet nectar giving plants) where a serpent boy was mistreated for being different by the people of that rock hole. The boy left, grew, and came back to eat them all. A story against selfishness, then. 
Aborigine Art
Of the former genre—contemporary art—there were a few things that captured my mind. The first was an artist from half a century ago (maybe more modern than contemporary). One of the first environmentalists (and not the local kind that only tries to stop rivers from burning), she was mocked for much of her art, though recent evidence has vindicated her point of view [1]. Her sculptures were made of metal and glass and had words sketched into them, each telling a story: a hunter chasing a mythical animal. The hunter all masculine, the animal simply leads the hunter in a circular chase, the hunter tires, death soon follows.
Another has the hunter killing the chased, but path the chased and the relatives of the chased react in a way so as to inflict a million cuts. Back home, the hunter dies. The sculptures are fluid and yet are still believable, even if the ultimate lesson (of environmentalism) might be a hard leap for the unimaginative such as myself.
Yet another had an artist throwing shapes on a board and painting that. The one in the middle is a face, all the others simply random pieces flung. It may be saying something simple about randomness, but I liked it.
But the most interesting art was not to be found in the museum but written all over the city: "'All Lies Matter' —Trump" has been scrawled on every piece of wall I've seen. The words of the prophet are written on the subway wall, as Simon Garfunkel have said. 
So I sit here inspired and you will be seeing more writing soon. 



[1] There are but a few things that are more interesting than the fact that some of the focus of previous times' environmentalists has given ammo to the climate skeptics of today who seem to be reacting against hippies trying to build a relationship with the world than any facts on the ground. 


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The Writer & Art

I've been finding more and more places with art, and not just in museums. This has been a great boon  for me to create more with my writing. Again, it's still been a vast amount of short stories, but even these are coming together very well. There will be more here soon. Thanks for the patience, all my readers!

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A Good Book to Read

I just read the book, The Sympathizer , a book about the Vietnam War, as well as the Vietnamese immigrant experience here in the States. Whatever my thoughts about the book, I'm of the mind that you should read it. [1] When compared to many of its contemporary brothers and sisters, the book is able to say quite a lot of things about America, Vietnam and the war. And when compared to previous Pulitzer Prize winners that I've read, this one seems heads and tails above them all. 

Like I said, it provided much food for thought. 


[1] There are many factors that go into making a book good, and I've discussed these before, but one of them is the ability to serve as a springboard for discussions. On that front, The Sympathizer does very well.  
[2] And even if I say that I don't want answers, I do expect more incisive questions. 
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