Edward Lorn's Blog, page 40

Cover Reveal for MARGINS! … and an Update on 2016

Hello Everybody

 

Last year I mentioned that I would have a free story up every month this year that you could choose whether or not and how much to pay for it. That idea has fallen through. My sincerest apologies. That being said, it doesn’t mean these stories are not coming out every month. Here’s a little update on what is happening with my work in 2016 and beyond.

 

The publishing world is a mercurial market. To keep my head above water, I have to adapt and change with growing trends and what sells. Luckily, I love telling stories, no matter the genre, which I hope to prove to you over the next 12 months. Yes, I’m primarily known as a horror writer, and my horror novels and stories will continue to come, but I’m branching out. In some cases WAY out. 

 

I should have a short story/novella release every month this year. Each one in a genre I haven’t published in before. Whatever sells the best will get the majority of my attention in 2017. Yes, even romance. Even though the Romance title I have coming out is somewhat different than your everyday love story, I feel I’ve maintained the staples of that genre. Everything published this year (aside from my horror novel release) will be $.99. Some will be just under 20 pages, and others will be more than 60 pages. All of them will be in a different style and genre. 

 

I’ve already taken up too much of your time, so I will end with this. “Come”, the first story of the year, comes out in three days (January 26). It is a darkly comedic piece of literary fiction. Directly on the heels of that one will be my take on a love story, which is entitled “Margins”. It is a longer short story (cover reveal below), and it should be out the week before Valentine’s Day. 

 

Thank you for your support and patience while I deal these growing pains. 

 

*hugs and high fives*

 

E.

 

Oh, and here’s the cover reveal I promised. 

 

Original post:

edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1330691/cover-reveal-for-margins-and-an-update-on-2016

So, Anyway… Review

So, Anyway… Review

I read one biography a year, and usually that bio comes from someone I grew up enjoying. I love insights into my favorite celebrities lives, and this one did not disappoint. While I felt some sections were overwritten and others slightly boring considering who wrote this, I enjoyed the experience.

Recommended for fans of John Cleese.

Many thanks to Crown Publishing for the review copy.

Night Chills Review

Review:

Sit back and relax. We’re going to be here for a while.

First and foremost, I must appreciate how fantastic my paperback of this book smells. These old Berkley-Koontz books have a distinctly woody aroma. Less of a vanilla smell and more of a damp pine scent. Like walking through a Christmas tree farm in the rain. I’ve picked up Zebra novels from this era and Tor paperback originals, even a few King Pocketbook editions, and none of them smell like these old Black/Neon paperbacks. If you’re not familiar with my use of Black/Neon, the explanation is simple enough. I’m talking about any of the Dean Koontz novels published by Berkley that had a black cover with simple artwork and colorful (sometimes neon) titles and bylines. They are, in my opinion, the best of the best when it comes to Koontz. His heyday, if you will. And they smell fucking amazing.

Now for the contents of this well-perfumed paperback.

Night Chills is nowhere near as good as I remember. In fact, I made a progress update that read:

“And we’re off! This book takes a while to kick in, but once it does, it’s relentless.

Hot damn, I miss the Koontz of yesteryear. His risk taking always impressed me.”

I lied my flabby ass off. While the ending was okay, it’s not what I remembered. No worries, I will not spoil the ending for you. Suffice it to say, it does not ramp up and get crazy action-y like I thought it did. I honestly feel as if someone changed the book on me. I felt like Obi Wan had waved a hand in front of my face and said, “This is not the book you’re looking for.” How does one forget the entire second half of a novel while remembering the first bit? I’m going to try and explain.

Dean Koontz has been rewriting the same ten books since around 1990. You have one of four premises: computer virus/sentient program takes over people/town; aliens; alternate reality/time manipulation; and finally government research conspiracy. Each of these premises have two subcategories. There’s a super intelligent dog in most of them and/or the love interest/main character will be a blonde woman. Most of these stories happen in Southern California so that Koontz can describe bougainvillea one of eleventy billion different ways. Night Chills takes place in Maine, but Koontz still managed to throw in a description of bougainvillea. Now that’s talent. If you can find a book Koontz has written without one of the things I’ve listed, I will send you a $10 Amazon Gift card. One gift card per book. Only one winner per book. You have my word. No joke. This is a serious offer.

Now, I know what you’re saying. Four premises with two subcategories is more than ten books. The math adds up to 12 different possible stories. Well, yes and no. I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt because of overlap. There is plenty of overlap in Koontz’s catalog. Take for instance the ending of Brother Odd, wherein Koontz uses three of those premises in one idea. The reason I have settled on the pleasingly even number of ten is due to the fact that I can point out ten distinct Koontz novels that have been reused, at the very least, threes times in the man’s career. All this because Koontz believes in the standup-comedy approach of novel writing. He might tell the same jokes every single night, but he knows there will always be someone new in the audience. The problem comes when you’ve traveled on tour with Koontz for the past thirty years and you’ve heard all these jokes thousands of times. Dean Koontz is the Paula Poundstone of the author world. Yes, Paula still has her fans, but mostly they’re newcomers to her tried, tested, and perfected schtick.

Jesus humped Mary through the Gardens of Gethsemane, I digressed. My apologies. If you’re still with me, I promise I’m getting to the point.

While I remember very clearly the first 200 pages of Night Chills, I thought this book ended differently because Koontz has reused this idea at least four times. I have yet to find the book I was looking for, and I’m tired of hunting. I’ll reread all these Black/Neon books slowly over the course of the next few years, and if I find it, fucking tremendous! If not, oh well. More than likely, I rewrote this book in my head because the ending is rather lackluster considering the build up. Koontz had such an awesome premise to work with and it all fizzled out into your typical thriller ending.

Which leaves me to wonder: How much of this man’s work did I ever truly enjoy? It’s a scary thought, thinking I’ve built up a fabricated fandom based on my own mental rewrites of how I believe things should’ve been. The only consolation I have is that there are thousands of Koontz fans out there who remember his heyday, who truly adored his Black/Neon era. Either way, I will reread and review each book as I read them. Maybe by the end I will have my answer.

In summation: This is a truly middle-ground Koontz book. It has everything we love and everything we hate about Koontz. Oh, and loads of rape scenes, which I could have done without. He definitely went full-on Laymon with this one. Considering they were good friends, Dick probably read Dean’s rough draft and said, “You know what this needs? More rape.” Like a perverted Christopher Walken asking for more cowbell. Seriously. There’s a lot of rape. A lot.

Final Judgment: That one uncle everyone keeps the kids away from.

Original post:

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"COME" Cover Reveal!

 

 

This is an odd story about an odd man…

 

When Geyser’s dying sister beckons him to her death bed, he has no other choice but to come.

 

 

(Author’s Note: “Come” marks my first jaunt into the realm of literary fiction. E. Lorn will be the name I use for all my non-Horror work.) 

 

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The Death Factory Review

Holy Shit Snacks, Scoob, David Ledoux’s narration did not fit this book whatsoever.

I decided to listen to this one instead of reading it because Ledoux is one of my favorite narrators, but his style made this an awkward experience. None of the voices seemed to match the characters, and Penn’s voice especially was borderline silly. I definitely will not be grabbing Ledoux’s narration of Natchez Burning. If I had to rate this on his performance alone, I’d have to give it one star. Luckily, the story itself saves this edition from being a total loss.

In The Death Factory, we finally get to hear about Sarah Cage’s final hours. This novella is heartbreaking and thought provoking, as is the rest of Iles’s catalogue, at least those of which I’ve read. It is also the first thing Iles released after his near-fatal crash in 2011, wherein he lost one of his legs. I’m happy to say that nothing has changed. Iles’s writing is as good as ever.

In summation: The Death Factory is an emotional albeit short story effectively told through flashbacks. The chassis this thing is built on is rather cleverly designed. I only wish I would have read it instead of listening to it.

Final Judgment: Emotional hor d’oeuvres.

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The Devil’s Punchbowl Review

I’ve written this review three different ways: satirically, derisively, and in the style which you are about to read. There are numerous reviews for this book wherein the reviewer flat out lies about the content for whatever reason. I wanted to focus on the dishonest nature of these reviews, but that would be break my own code of conduct. They are not my reviews. These other reviews are those reviewers’ subjective opinions, even if they are utter bullshit. Suffice it to say, most of the negative reviews for this book are erroneous to the point that I feel the reviewers should be ashamed at the level of fabrication to which they stooped. In the end, I asked myself, “Do you really care what a group of dishonest attention whores thinks?” The answer is yes and no. I find it sad beyond belief that someone would feel the need to lie in an attempt to keep people away from this terrific, challenging novel, mainly because more people should read it. But I don’t give a squirt of piss for their asinine comments, because I can say with the utmost confidence that they either a) did not actually read the book, or b) projected their own suspect morals to the thematic elements herein.

The Devil’s Punchbowl has one of the most evil, reprehensible villains I’ve come across in a long time. I read this book back in December and Julian Sands has stayed with me ever since. In this, the third Penn Cage novel, Iles ramps up both the action and the uncomfortable subject matter. You will bear witness to a single dogfight, the aftermath of a different dogfight, and brief descriptions of child pornography and abuse. While the subject of dogfighting is prevalent throughout the book, this book is not full of dogfights, as some reviewers will have you believe. The characters in this book are not flippant when it comes to the treatment of animals. Penn Cage and everyone else who comes across the tragedy of this inhumane “sport” are shaken to their core by the cruelty exhibited. Only the villains enjoy the “sport”, and the one good guy who is nonchalant about watching the single dogfight in this book is nonchalant because he is undercover, and if he breaks that cover, the bad guys will kill him.

Let me be perfectly clear on this one point: There are absolutely not multiple dogfights in this novel. Anyone who says there is more than one is lying. Still, I understand that, to some, one dogfight is one dogfight too many. I respect that and understand. But I believe that ignoring this book based on a few paragraphs in one chapter would be to do yourself a great disservice. If you are someone who appreciates affecting fiction, this book delivers time and time again. To write off this novel as a book about dogfighting is to call The Color Purple a movie about shaving.

The reason I appreciate Iles as much as I do is because he deals in themes. The first Penn Cage book dealt with racism, and the second was about the age of consent. This novel is about doing the right thing no matter how difficult it may seem. It’s about not quitting. About being the better person. Iles manages to discuss these themes while entertaining his reader. The book is the perfect length based on the content you receive. It is a long book in page count only. Its 700 pages fly by with ease, and I found myself sad to see it draw to a close. Plenty of bang for your buck.

And lastly, I definitely appreciated the damsel in distress saving herself.

In summation: This is easily my favorite book in the series thus far, and it saddens me to see people lying about and/or exaggerating its contents. The novel is affecting, but it is not flippant in its discussion of sensitive issues. The bad guys get everything they deserve and then some. I was more than pleased with how they were dealt with. My highest possible recommendation.

Final Judgment: Powerful fiction disguised as your average thriller.

Original post:

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David Bowie’s "Blackstar" available to stream on Amazon Prime.

David Bowie’s goodbye album, “Blackstar”, is available to stream for free if you have Amazon Prime. Click on the image below for the portal.

 

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Summer Of Night Review

Review:

Preface: Some of you will read this review and wonder why I gave it such a high score when I had such a big problem with a certain aspect of the storyline. Those of you who feel confused by my rating should know that, yes, this book is terrific. It transported me to another time and place. For me, it effortlessly captured a sense of nostalgia for something I never experienced. I wasn’t alive in the 60s. I didn’t grow up in a small town, though I did live in one for my final years as a teenager. I only had one close friend and not a group of buddies. And while I was a fat book nerd like Duane is in the book, I never had a good relationship with my father. Those are the aspects of this book I enjoyed, even though I have no experience with those things. This book allowed me escape. That, above all else, is why the book’s getting 4 stars instead of a much lower rating. Because if I scored it based solely on the plot, I’d likely give it a low 3.

Minor spoilers from here on out.

The 800-pound gorilla in the room, I believe, is the school. We find out in the very first chapter that this is the last year Old Central, the school all four of our main characters attend, is going to be torn down the summer in which this story takes place. And that’s the problem I have with the plot. The entire time while I was reading, I kept thinking, “If the boys do nothing at all, the evil will be vanquished. If they only wait, it will be destroyed, or found out, or, at the very least, moved to another location.” Simmons tries very hard to give the reader reasons for the boys to act, but red flags kept coming up throughout the narrative. The reasoning behind the boys’ research into the school is weak and, in the grand scheme of things, does not matter. Why should they go looking into the school at all when it’s being torn down at the end of the summer? None of the boys liked Tubby so why the fuck are they looking for him? Why isn’t the school being torn down until AFTER the summer is over? Why isn’t the school buzzing with the activities of the demolition crew? It takes weeks of preparation to bring down a building that size. Where the fuck is everyone? The human henchmen weren’t working to keep the demolition teams away. They were wasting their time trying to kill or scare four kids and anyone who helped them. The boys should not have been the greatest threat to the evil within the school. The threat should have been the imminent arrival of a wrecking crew. Which begs the question, “Why did the school have to be torn down in the first place?”

Much of these issues are the same issues I had with Carrion Comfort. I did not believe the villains’ motivations in that book, and I did not believe the motivations in this one. It bugged me. Throughout the entire book, it bugged me.

All that being said, I enjoyed myself. Simmons took several risks that paid off in spades. Halfway through, the mood of the book changes drastically. It’s been a long time since I sat back, mouth agape, thinking, “That did not just happen. No way was that real. Where could the story possibly go from here?” Having such a shocking mood-altering scene in the middle of your book takes a lot of balls.

Overall, what this book does exceptionally well is the Three Ds of Horror: Dread, Disgust, and Death. Simmons nailed that aspect. More than once I found myself chewing at my nails or crinkling my nose, and I never knew who was going to die next. Bravo.

In summation: Do I think everyone or anyone else will have the same issues I had with this book? No. In fact, it’s likely no one else has mentioned the problems I had while reading. And that’s because this book provides a means of escape. Don’t mind the gorilla and you should have a lot of fun.

Final Judgment: Come for the Three Ds, stay for the nostalgia.

Original post:

edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1321346/summer-of-night-review

Real YouTube Comments #3

“My mom just empregnated my son”

 

No alterations were made to this YouTube comment.

 

 

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Don’t ever apologize to an author for buying something in...

Don’t ever apologize to an author for buying something in paperback, or taking it out from a library (that’s what they’re there for. Use your library). Don’t apologize to this author for buying books second hand, or getting them from bookcrossing or borrowing a friend’s copy. What’s important to me is that people read the books and enjoy them, and that, at some point in there, the book was bought by someone. And that people who like things, tell other people. The most important thing is that people read.

~ Neil Gaiman

 

Source

 

Suffice it to say, I agree.

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