Azra Tabassum's Blog, page 146
March 7, 2015
March 6, 2015
New playlist! I’ll follow you into any storm:Yours - Ella...
New playlist! I’ll follow you into any storm:
Yours - Ella HendersonSalted Wound - SiaEvery Other Freckle - Alt-JLove Me Tender - Norah JonesThousand Miles - Tove LoOnly Love - Ben HowardDance Me to The End of Love - The Civil WarsIn The Woods Somewhere - HozierDark Paradise - Lana Del ReyLove Me Like I’m Not Made of Storm - Lykke LiFlawless - The NeighbourhoodWildest Dreams - Taylor SwiftListen to it here!
meloetta:all these pretty faces are gonna kill me i’m gonna die on this day
all these pretty faces are gonna kill me i’m gonna die on this day
What do you think about porn?
I think it’s a vile and violent industry which thrives on the exploitation of women.
"Did you know that I’m not her? And I partially agreed to the wait because I didn’t believe you..."
Did you know that I’m not her? And I partially agreed to the wait because I didn’t believe you existed in the first place. But in the slight rare possibility that you did, you would definitely not want me. Because I’m not ‘her.’ I choke on soft words like ‘want’ and ‘need’. I hate flowers, red boxes of unpredictable strangely textured chocolate, balloons that take months to die and everything Valentines Day. I’m sorry but to me The Notebook and Pretty Woman were just okay. I am the one fairies tell you to stay away from, I was never Cinderella, I was the evil stepmother. I was never the princess, I was the fire breathing dragon. I was Ursula, I was The Wicked Witch of the West, yet you chose to knocking on the door of this castle of my heart, unaware that an invisible fortress had been built due to much more pain and experience than a sting.
My first love on Earth cheated on me, visiting me on holidays bearing beautifully wrapped gifts of empty promises tied with bows the colour of wishful thinking and then leaving me. An egg can’t produce without a seed and winter came, then summer, then spring, then fall and I guess mine took the option to leave because although mummy said I was beautiful, and that it wasn’t my fault, it still felt like incarcerated incidence so beauty, to me, was incomplete.
So I stepped outside to bask in the sun only to find you sleeping night after night in front of the door of my cold heart, who led you inside? I was terrified. I’d never been this close but all you wanted to do was show me that we shared the same old wounds. For some strange reason you felt like heels click three times. I was a relentless unpredictable storm. I guess those other men were made of hay because I huffed and I puffed and the spirit of your big body howls wouldn’t go down. I hated the way my heart became a defiant teenager and listened to you instead of me.
It’s hard to breathe when anyone gets close. Stay close. And just let me inhale your exhale. Even when I punch you with my words, stay close. Even when I cut you with my fears, stay close. Look at my chilling eyes and remember, look at my bleeding knees and remember, I fell for you and it took my thirty three years to let that pain die so that new hope and new life could resurrect.
And when God removed the scales from my eyes, I remember looking at you and finally understanding the meaning of the word behold. I remember the first time looking into your eyes was like staring at the back of the moon only to find that it shines, too. You wear patience like a tailored suit.
All I can do is thank God and your mother for raising a man that I never believed could exist.
”- Janette McGhee Watson “I Waited For You”
"They come with their axes,
in the night,
to the cottage we lived in,
to the cottage we loved in,..."
in the night,
to the cottage we lived in,
to the cottage we loved in,
and start to chop the roots
of the tree that we called Love.
You are the hand that feeds,
I am the mouth that swallows,
we are bursting with sacred light.
They do not see it.
The name on their tongues
is not His, but is Sinner
and somehow they have become
the same.
God and Sin. God and Betrayal.
God, how I loved you.
God, how I would have
cracked the Earth’s spine,
with my own two hands,
for you.
In my conversations with Him,
I tell Him about your light.
How burying myself inside of you,
for the first time felt holy,
a different kind of pure.
I tell Him that the first time,
I fell headfirst into your skin,
I found Him there,
a version my mother hadn’t
taught me about.
How glorious, how full,
how shaking.
In my prayers, you and I
are the same person.
In my prayers, we live in a field
full of sunlight, and we are flowers
and we are stretching towards
the bright hurt of it.
I tell Him that they are coming,
that they are angry our love
is not what they expected.
I tell Him to save us. That I love Him.
That I love you.
Father, what now?
They are coming with their axes.
They’re calling us sinners.
They’re going to burn that beautiful dream
right down.”
- Azra.T., “Conversations with God” (via 5000letters)
I wish we were friends but at the same time I think you're too good for me and ugh
I honestly spend about 60% of the time being mean and sarcastic to my friends and the other 40% of the time loving them way too much to make up for it
March 5, 2015
I have a girl crush on you so hard so you can probably stop being so dang cute on snapchat any day now you sly little vixen you
Nobody’s ever called me a vixen before… I kinda like it… (Thanks cutie)
March 2, 2015
I’m eating muesli this is the worst decision I’ve EVER made
I’m eating muesli this is the worst decision I’ve EVER made
I really need your advice. Just your first thought. I am doing long distance with my boyfriend but I have met someone else. This is never me. But who I have met is completely and literally my ideal soul mate. French and divine. He sleeps in the room next t
Don’t betray him. Just tell your boyfriend the truth. That’s literally all you can do. Tell him the truth. It’s better than feeling guilty and sneaking around, you’ll just hurt him even more. Be honest with it.
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