Dave Anderson's Blog, page 11

Exposing Your Weaknesses

I frequently see leaders who would rather eat a bug than admit to others they made a mistake or had a weakness. Exposing your own failures is not a sign of weakness. Hiding your failures is!

There is not a single person we lead who believes we are perfect.  In fact, when we own up to our own weaknesses, we are rarely telling them anything they don’t already know.  

It is counter-cultural among leaders to point out their own short-comings.  We seem to feel if someone sees a weakness in us, then they will think less of us.  Or, they might not trust us because we have exposed our soft white underbelly to others.

The decision to not expose our past mistakes and current short-comings actually accomplishes exactly what we are trying to avoid.

When we hide our frailties to people who already know what they are, we lose our chance of gaining the respect, the trust and the allegiance of the people we are supposed to be leading.

When we admit our frailties to people who already know what those frailties are, what we gain is respect.  We gain trust.  We gain allies.

Why Do Leaders Hide Their Failures

Why do we avoid exposing our failures to others?  There is only one real answer – PRIDE.

When you never admit to your failures or weaknesses, you absolve yourself of any responsibility for growing beyond the person you already are.

A leader who is not growing is a leader who is losing ground and will eventually lose the people he desires to have following him.

An interesting thing happens when you swallow your pride and begin to expose your weaknesses and failures to others – you begin to take ownership of them.  You begin to grow and gain from others what you were afraid of losing – respect, trust, and allegiance.

The Bottom Line

Breaking the cycle of pride and developing the Habit of Character called Humility takes practice.  Humility is like a muscle, you have to exercise it regularly or it will never gain strength.  On the other hand, if you exercise pride, it will become a dominant habit in your character.

What are some simple exercises a leader can do to develop Humility to the point it is stronger than our pride?

Here are a few for your consideration.

Humility Exercises

Report your failures to your supervisor, your employees, your spouse, or your children.  Don’t wait for them to discover them.
Tell your team you are not good at a particular aspect of your job, and ask someone to help you.
Apologize after losing your temper at work or at home.
If you screw up, admit it and share with others how you are going to fix it.
Laugh when you do something embarrassing instead of hiding it, running from it, or getting angry about it.

By exposing our failures and weaknesses to others, we strengthen our character. We strengthen our Humility.  We strengthen the bonds of respect, trust, and allegiance that both the leader and the led want and need desperately.

Question:

What else does exposing our failures and weaknesses do for us?

Performance Reviews Vs. Performance Reveals

A lot of people do not like performance reviews.  Many times it is the anticipation of bad news that can cause anxiety in the individual.  The fear of the unknown can overwhelm people.

That’s the problem.  Nothing that is discussed in a performance review should be unknown.

That is why they are called performance reviews – NOT performance reveals!

Performance Review or Reveal?

Reactions To A Performance Reveal

When people are surprised by the content of their performance reviews they react in many ways and none of them are productive.  Some of these reactions are easy to identify because the person will give you immediate feedback.  Anger, arguing and shock are usually easy to recognize.

Other people nod their heads and say very little – until they are with their peers.  This is never a good discussion and often effects everyone  they run into.  When this happens the leader loses the trust and confidence of not one individual but the whole team.

In either case, employee engagement suffers.  A performance reveal can quickly change an engaged team member into a person who is not engaged or actively disengaged. 

The actively disengaged people are the scariest ones because they are the ones who are working against the organization either overtly or passive aggressively.

3 Causes Of A Performance Reveal

Infrequent Feedback:  Too often the leader has not provided the person with frequent coaching.  Human nature tells us that no news is good news.  If a person hears nothing from the coach, then they assume all is well.
Lack Of Follow-up:  Sometimes a person may have been coached on areas but there was little follow-up.  If they hear it once or twice and never hear it again, then the coaching will lack impact and/or the importance of the topic will be diminished.
Vague Coaching:  Some leaders will make suggestions throughout the year but won’t speak with candor or clarity.  This is the leader’s attempt to soften his coaching or to avoid confrontation.

Problems arise when an issue appears in black and white on a performance review and surprises the team member.  Without frequency, follow-up and clarity, in his coaching the leader will likely be performing a performance reveal.

Effective Performance Reviews Have No Surprises

If a coach has been engaged with an employee throughout the rating period then there should never be any surprises.  The review portion of the discussion would be just that–A REVIEW. 

The coaching that took place and the employee’s subsequent behaviors in relation to that coaching should dominate that conversation.  In fact, it ends up being just another, yet more in-depth coaching session. 

If the leader has done his job throughout the rating period by providing frequent feedback, follow-up and clarity, the review will usually be without fireworks.  If conflict does occur, the leader has the details ready to remind the employee of past coaching because proper follow-up occurred throughout.

Effective Performance Reviews Focus On The Future

I call this the 30/70 rule.  When I do a good job of coaching throughout the year, the review of the past should only take up 30% of our time.  Why?  Because I am reviewing the past not revealing it.

The other 70% of our time that day is spent on looking forward to the year ahead.  We develop strategies and tactics for improvement.  My goal is to focus on making them better, not on beating them into submission about their past.

When a person knows the coach is focused on their improvement, trust and confidence in the leader is improved not diminished.

The Bottom Line:

A performance review is perhaps the most important time a coach gets with a team member because it is uninterrupted time spent on making that person better.

If the coach or the team member is dreading that time, the cause is probably the poor coaching that occurred throughout that rating cycle.

When I did a poor job of coaching outside of the performance review, the preparation for that review was always harder and the results were always limited.

But, when I was on top of my game as a coach, the preparation was simple, no one was ever surprised, and the results had impact.

Coaching frequency, follow-up and clarity are the keys to eliminating performance reveals that cause disengagement and creating performance reviews that inspire growth and build trust.

Question:

What are some other reasons people are surprised by what they hear in performance reviews?

Dave Anderson is coauthor of the Amazon Best-Seller Becoming a Leader of Character – Six Habits that Make or Break a Leader at Work and at Home with his father General James L. Anderson (USA Retired).
You can order Becoming a Leader of Character on Amazon by clicking here:
bit.ly/LOCBook.
You can also find Becoming a Leader of Character at Barnes and Noble, Books-a-Million and other retailers.

Three Times A Leader’s Feelings Are Irrelevant

The team was sure their boss had emotional issues. “He could fly off the handle at any minute! If he doesn’t like you, your life will be hell. He really has a bad temper.”

The leader was losing his team. He called it passion. They called it unpredictable. He did not want to ignore his feelings. They wanted him to be more predictable.

As a Leader of Character, there are times when my feelings are irrelevant. I give up the right to be controlled by my emotions when I take on a leadership role.

How you feel doesn’t matter.

The privileges that go with leading are usually overstated. In fact, leaders give up more rights than they gain. Another blog lists The Five Rights We Give Up To Lead.

Another right leaders give up is the right to do what we feel.

The leader of this team believed he still had the right to do what he felt like doing. He also believed his team was following him, when in fact all they were doing was complying.

In this environment, the team walks on egg shells, avoids telling the boss bad news, and rarely trusts the leader. It is the sign of an immature leader.

Three Times Your Feelings Are Irrelevant
1. I Don’t Feel Like It

“I have a bad day now and then. That’s normal.”

We all have lives outside of work. Those lives do bleed into our work day. But, for a leader, whether I “feel like it” or not is irrelevant.

Whether I feel like being upbeat or not, a leader needs to have a good attitude.
Whether I feel like addressing a difficult issue or not, a leader must step up and speak.
Whether I feel like stopping my work to serve another employee or not, as a leader I must put others before my feelings.

2. It’s Just Who I Am

“I have always worn my emotions on my sleeve.”

It is true that some people have a shorter fuse than others. We were all created differently. We all have different strengths and weaknesses. But many times our biggest strengths become our biggest weaknesses.  They are Two Sides Of The Same Coin.

Most people have the ability to control their emotions. Those that TRULY do not have that ability are likely in need of counseling and medication.

For the rest of us, “It’s just who I am” is an excuse to not work at improving ourselves. When I become a leader, my emotional nature becomes irrelevant. I must strive to control my emotions and not be controlled by them.

3. I Like/Dislike Them

“He just gets on my nerves. He annoys me every time we speak. I can’t get past it.”

We all find some people easier to like than others. People with similar personalities and similar backgrounds are easy to connect with. But there are some people we may never connect with.

As a leader, whether I like or dislike someone is irrelevant when it comes down to leading them. I must fight the natural tendency to display partiality. I have to ignore my feelings and treat every person with respect and in a fair manner.

This comes down to a leader being disciplined enough to control his personal feelings about the person. If a leader will not control those impulses, that is a sign of immaturity and a character issue.

The Bottom Line:

The examples I cite above are all excuses. When a leader makes these excuses, the leader displays a level of immaturity that most of us would not condone in our children.

As leaders, we volunteered to give up some of our rights in order to lead others. One of the personal rights we give up is the right to make decisions based on our feelings.

As a Leader of Character, I must recognize when my feelings are irrelevant. When I can consistently do that, I am maturing and growing as a leader.

Question:

What other feelings get in the way of being an effective leader?

Dave Anderson is coauthor of the Amazon Best-Seller Becoming a Leader of Character – Six Habits that Make or Break a Leader at Work and at Home with his father General James L. Anderson (USA Retired).
You can order Becoming a Leader of Character on Amazon by clicking here:
bit.ly/LOCBook.
You can also find Becoming a Leader of Character at Barnes and Noble, Books-a-Million and other retailers.

What Are Leaders Afraid Of?

Fear is a natural part of the human condition. We all have fears and anxieties that we must face.   Fear kicks in when we recognize risk. If there is a perceived or actual risk involved in an activity, fear raises up inside of us and will try to rationalize all the reasons we should avoid taking action.

We become the cowards we never pictured ourselves to be, because we let fear dominate us. So what are we afraid of?

What Scares Leaders?

We Are Afraid of Failure

For some, failure seems like the worst possible outcome. The thought of screwing something up is so paralyzing that we would rather do nothing than risk taking action and be proven ineffective.

We are Afraid of The Unknown

Sometimes being unsure of what is next keeps people from acting. We cannot see around the next corner, so we stop in place and wait for more clarity. Meanwhile, the world passes us by. Others with Courage, round the corner and adapt to what they find. They move forward, while we stand still.

We are Afraid of Losing Relationships

In high school and college we call this peer pressure. Most parents warn our children, “Don’t give in to peer pressure.” But then parents head to work and do exactly what they tell their kids not to do. The idea of being a tattle tale (or a snitch) at work prevents them from speaking up when something is wrong.

We are Afraid of Losing Jobs

In today’s world of work pressures, family pressures and mounting debt, the idea of losing a job can paralyze many people. The fear of telling a family or friends “I lost my job.”, the fear of searching for a new position in a job market that may not be strong in your geographic or professional area are fears that many people succumb to when making a choice between speaking up or stepping up at work.

When I was faced with the choice in the past, I would often ask myself which statement would my children want to tell their children:

“2016 was a tough year because your grandfather had the courage to stand up for his convictions and lost his job.”

-Or-

“I am not sure what your grandfather stood for. He always did what was practical.”

The lessons my kids will remember and will pass on to their kids will not be about the way I kept my job by not creating waves. They will remember the way I lived.

The question is – will those memories be memories of Courage or of cowardice?

Andersons’ Definition of Courage
Acting despite perceived or actual risk.

To read a related blog click on the following title:

Cowardice and Courage for the Front Line Leaders

The Bottom Line:

The question is why do some people face their fears and move forward while others become the proverbial ostrich and stick their heads in the sand wondering why their life is not going anywhere?

Aristotle’s answer is “You become just by doing just acts and you become brave by doing brave acts.”

The people who move forward and overcome their fears, do not have some special powers or a magic pill they take, they just have more practice in facing their fears.

Practice Exercising Courage

I do not have to go skydiving or wrestle a bear to practice facing my fears.

Here are some small choices today that will build my courage for the big tests to come:

Do something that makes you feel uncomfortable.
Talk to your boss about a problem he needs to address.
Tell your spouse or your child you are sorry and ask for forgiveness.
Talk to an employee about her inappropriate dress.
Stop making excuses and take responsibility for your team missing a deadline.
Step up and take charge even when it is inconvenient.
Take a stand for something you believe in, and may not be popular with others.
Admit your weaknesses to your team or your family (By the way, they already know them.)

In order to build a muscle, we must exercise it. If we never push the muscle outside of it’s comfort zone, it will never get stronger. Courage is a muscle that needs to be exercised.

Some people believe that when the big tests come in life, they will be ready. They believe the courage to speak up or to step up and do the right thing will be there on command. But think about this.

If I never exercised Courage in the small things in life, what makes me think I will be courageous in the big things?

Question:

What small act of Courage have you been avoiding, that will build your Courage for a big test later?

Dave Anderson is coauthor of the Amazon Best-Seller Becoming a Leader of Character – Six Habits that Make or Break a Leader at Work and at Home with his father General James L. Anderson (USA Retired).
You can order Becoming a Leader of Character on Amazon by clicking here:
bit.ly/LOCBook.
You can also find Becoming a Leader of Character at Barnes and Noble, Books-a-Million and other retailers.

Four Traits Elite Teams Have In Common

“If you don’t know where you are going, how do you expect to get there.” is one of my favorite quotes of all time. We all want to lead or be part of an elite team. But what does good look like?

What do elite teams have in common? How can a leader develop an elite team? The first step is knowing where you are going.

Elite Teams Know the Destination

Four Traits Elite Teams Have
Integrity

Elite teams maintain high standards of Integrity. Teams with Integrity:

Do the right thing no matter the personal or professional consequences.
Believe you cannot be considered a person of Integrity and collect a full paycheck while doing only parts of your job well.
Believe that keeping promises to each other is equally as important as keeping promises to customers.

To read more about teams of Integrity, click on the following blog title:  Culture is the Leader’s Job

Courage

Elite teams exercise moral Courage. Teams with Courage:

Own their actions and eliminate excuses from their vocabulary.
Always choose the harder right instead of the easier wrong.
Challenge the status quo thinking and processes.
Try new things even if it makes them uncomfortable.

To read more about teams of Courage, click on the following blog title:  Buzzword Defined (Part 3):  Courage

Selflessness

Elite Teams put aside personal desires for the good of the team. Teams with Selflessness:

Serve others without expecting anything in return.
Treat others like they want to be treated in the same situation.
Place there individual or department needs behind the needs of others.

To read more about selfless teams, click on the following blog title:  Teamwork:  What Good Looks Like

Communication

Elite teams over-communicate. Teams who communicate well:

Error on the side of too much communication instead of too little.
Give each other the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise.
Seek solutions during a conflict instead of seeking victory.
Create opportunities for people to speak openly and challenge each other.

To read more about communication on teams, click on the following blog title:  A Team That Values Communication

How Do You Get There?

Leaders must lead! If my team does not operate like the elite teams described above, who is to blame? The people? I hired them.

I’m responsible for coaching them. I am also responsible for upgrading the team if necessary.   I am responsible for everything happening on my team.

I must take action to intentionally and consistently shape my team into an elite team that everyone wants to work for or do business with. I must build a culture on my team that will create an elite team.

I have laid out the steps in The Overwhelmed Manager’s Guide to a Winning Culture that you can explore by clicking the following title:  The Overwhelmed Manager’s Guide

When you use the link above, you can download free PDF guides that will help you begin to build that elite team by hiring the right people (interview guide), defining your values, and creating Vision and Mission statements that people might actually remember!  Download the OMG Power Pack.

The Bottom Line:

There are a lot of things elite teams do exceeding well. They do not become elite teams just because they have talented people. Every NBA team and every one of our competitors have talented people.  So what separates an elite team from the talented but average teams?

It comes back to the leader intentionally developing the team from a loose group of talent, into a well-oiled elite team with Integrity, Courage, Selflessness and Communication.

This does not happen by accident. It takes a leader at the helm to steer the ship to the destination (elite status) desired.  Who is steering your ship?  One more blog:  Corporate Culture Left Adrift

Question:

What other traits do elite teams have in common?

Dave Anderson is coauthor of the Amazon Best-Seller Becoming a Leader of Character – Six Habits that Make or Break a Leader at Work and at Home with his father General James L. Anderson (USA Retired).
You can order Becoming a Leader of Character on Amazon by clicking here:
bit.ly/LOCBook.
You can also find Becoming a Leader of Character at Barnes and Noble, Books-a-Million and other retailers.

Five Truths About A Leader’s Life

Leaders are needed!  People want to be led by leaders who live lives that are consistent with what they claim to be important.

I am unashamedly part of the leadership development/consulting industry.  The industry was pioneered by gurus like Zig Ziglar, Brian Tracy, Ken Blanchard and John Maxwell.  They have all provided invaluable tools and resources to leaders through the years.

But, one tool is the grand daddy of them all.  One tool rises above the rest to deliver the influence and the impact all leaders desire. 

A Leader’s Most Important Tool

One tool overcomes the stagnation and the skepticism that follows leaders as they try to change the culture of a team or provide moral and ethical leadership within the framework of business.

Books, blogs, podcasts, videos, and conferences created by leadership experts can provide us with tools for becoming better leaders.   There are plenty of tools available to anyone wanting to be a leader of influence.  But this tool is available to everyone.

The Most Powerful Leadership Tool – Ever
My life is the most powerful leadership tool I have. 
No tool has more influence than the quality of the life the leader lives.

I may be able to use pep talks to motivate action in the beginning.  I may be able to coerce action for a period of time.  But the carrot and the stick methods of leadership are both short-term solutions.  They are both band aids that do not succeed in inspiring followers over the long term.

5 Truths About A Leader’s Life
1.  My private life impacts my ability to lead.

The idea that my private life is separate and has no impact on my moral authority to lead is foolish.  If I claim to be one person as a leader at work, but am someone else in private, my inconsistent life will damage my ability to lead in the long run.

2.  Words may inspire followers but actions convince them.

Over time, nobody cares what I say, if my actions are not in alignment with my words.  I will lose my team, my spouse and my children if they hear me claim a value is important, but I act in opposition to that claim.

3.  HOW I am is WHO I am.

My character is the sum total of my habits – the good ones and the bad ones.  How I act on a habitual basis is truly who I am as a person.  It does not matter who I think I am or claim to be.  My habitual actions truly paint who I am.

4.  Leaders who go first have followers.

Leaders lead from the front.  They set the example and are willing to do what they expect others to do.  To expect my team, my spouse, or my children to do something that they have never seen me do will result in me being alone.  If no one is following, am I really a leader?

5.  Humility inspires trust.  Arrogance creates doubt.

The ability to say “I was wrong.” Or “I don’t know” or “Please forgive me” creates trust.  Everyone knows I am fallible because we all are fallible.  If I act like I don’t make mistakes, yet everyone knows I do, how can they trust me?  They will always have doubts.

The Bottom Line:

People are disillusioned when they see their leaders’ lives are inconsistent with what they claim to be important.  Our leaders in Washington are great examples of uninspiring leaders.  We hear great words, but see little action that is worth emulating.

What people see me do, how they see me live, will inspire them to follow me or create apathy towards me.  My life says more about me as a leader than any management tool or fad I try to implement.

I left the corporate world to start my own leadership consulting business because I truly believe leadership is the answer to what is ailing our homes, businesses and our country.

Our lives as leaders in our businesses and in our families will cause more people to follow us than any well designed leadership tool a leadership consultant can teach us – even if it is something I designed at Anderson Leadership Solutions.

Question:

What area of your life has the most positive and the most negative influence on those you lead? 

Dave Anderson is coauthor of the Amazon Best-Seller Becoming a Leader of Character – Six Habits that Make or Break a Leader at Work and at Home with his father General James L. Anderson (USA Retired).
You can order Becoming a Leader of Character on Amazon by clicking here:
bit.ly/LOCBook.
You can also find Becoming a Leader of Character at Barnes and Noble, Books-a-Million and other retailers.

Why Do You Want To Be The Leader

“Dave, my goal is to do your job someday.” Debbie confidently stated.

My response was one word:  “Why?”

Too many people look at moving into leadership and moving up the chain of command as the definition of success at work.  I wanted to be clear to Debbie that climbing the career ladder for climbing sake is not success!

Leadership is not for everyone.  If someone moves into leadership, and they are not right for the job, they hurt themselves and others.

The Big Question:

“Debbie, what gets you out of bed each morning?  What drives/motivates you?”

To me, this is the big question for people aspiring to be in leadership.  I’ve seen good people move into leadership and flounder because they realize what motivates them is in short supply for leaders.

If It’s Recognition- Stay Put!

As a leader, recognition from above and from below is rare.  If I thrive on “atta boys” and “thank yous”, being a leader may not be fulfilling.

As a leader there are fewer people above me to praise me.  Plus the things I get praised for at my current position are common expectations in leadership.  The demands on time for the people above me will preclude them from praising me for common accomplishments.

At the same time, the people I lead rarely think to thank their boss for the effort I put in on their behalf.  Most of the time they are unaware of the things I do daily to help them.  To be happy in leadership, I need to be okay with that.

Besides, Leaders of Character have the Humility deflect praise to the individual members of the team.  As a leader, the individuals I lead are accomplishing the tasks.  I am only directing them.  When things go well, a Leader of Character shouldn’t take credit.  But when they go poorly, a Leader of Character must shoulder the blame.  To be happy in leadership, I need to be okay with this dynamic as well.

If It’s Helping Others Succeed- Step Up!

The most satisfaction I get being a leader is knowing I had a hand in one of my team member’s success.   The recognition comes internally not externally.

Trust me, I am not some martyr or someone who believes my way is the only way to lead.  But, I have witnessed too many talented people be really unhappy in leadership.  They wanted the external recognition they had always gotten.  But, as a leader, the internal recognition needs to be enough.

The Bottom Line:

The motivation to lead can not be generated from outside of the leader.  It can not be based on rewards or thank you’s.

I told Debbie that being motivated by these things does not make her wrong or a bad person.  What motivated her made her great at her job.  But, she needed to truly evaluate her desire to move up the career ladder.

Whether I am motivated by external recognition or internal recognition does not make me right or wrong.  But it may determine whether I will be truly happy leading others.

Question:

When have you seen people promoted and become less satisfied when leading others?

Dave Anderson is coauthor of the Amazon Best-Seller Becoming a Leader of Character – Six Habits that Make or Break a Leader at Work and at Home with his father General James L. Anderson (USA Retired).

You can order Becoming a Leader of Character on Amazon by clicking here:

bit.ly/LOCBook.

You can also find Becoming a Leader of Character at Barnes and Noble, Books-a-Million and other retailers.

My Un-Resume: My Team Lacked REAL Diversity

The first team I led had two women, two African American’s and someone of Asian descent.  The other 5 were white males.   Our team picture could have been used as an HR poster for diversity!

I hired most of them because I felt they were of high character and high potential.  Diversity was not part of my decision making process, even though it may have looked like it.  Unfortunately, looks can be deceiving.  That team was not REALLY diverse.  That team was not very good either.

My Un-Resume

Good Intentions

I was never one to deliberately look for someone of a certain ethnicity or gender to fill my team.  I wanted the best person for the job.  Period.

Many companies have systems set up to monitor fair hiring practices.  I am glad they are there.  The intent should always be to hire the best person for the team.  Excluding someone because of their minority status is wrong.

However, those good intentions have caused many people to hire candidates because of their minority status instead of causing them to ignore that status.

FAKE Diversity

That first team of mine looked diverse but was perhaps one of my least diverse teams.   Even though we all looked different, we all had very similar personalities.

It was my fault. I hired people that were just like me.  We had similar personalities, which made us like each other a lot and have a lot of fun.

It was easy to get everyone to agree because we all naturally had the same way of seeing things.  We looked at problems through the same lens.

I enjoyed going to work everyday.   I enjoyed going to work until our results began to show that we were not very good.

If everyone on a team thinks the same way, that team will likely have very limited success.  A blend of ethnicities and genders will not guarantee diversity of thought on a team.  Diversity in personalities will.

Personality Styles

There are many different systems for categorizing personality styles.  I use the DISC profile system with my clients.  (Take DISC Personality Assessment Here).

DISC categorizes people into a combination of four styles:

D:  Dominant – Outgoing and task oriented.  They can be very direct and do not shy away from conflict.  They are driven by results and competition.

I:  Influence – Outgoing and people oriented.  They are visionary but not detail oriented.  They have a lot of friends. Risk and/or change does not bother them.

S:  Steadiness – Reserved and people oriented.  They are very loyal and avoid conflict.  They prefer a small group of close friends and the status quo.

C:  Compliance – Reserved and task oriented.  They are precise and cautious.  They want the details and are uncomfortable with ambiguity.

Most people are a varied blend of 2 -3 styles.  But one style tends to dominate.  When a team is dominated by one dominant personality type, that team is headed for trouble.

A Team of D’s:  Will get the job done, but may burn bridges and relationships along the way.

A Team of I’s:  Will be the most creative and enthusiastic group, but may miss details and lack the attention to follow-through to the end.

A Team of S’s:  Will be consistent and loyal, but may avoid change and never engage in healthy conflict.

A Team of C’s:  Will have things done accurately and on time, but may spend too much time planning and focusing on non-essentials.

All High I’s

That was the problem on my first team.  We had 10 people who were high I’s. We were great selling in front of our customers.  We were the best at coming up with innovative marketing ideas.

Our problem was follow-through.  If we had someone from each of the other three styles, our team might have performed better.

D:  We needed a high D on the team to keep us focused on the results and not just how much our customers liked us or liked our new ideas.
S:  We needed a high S on the team to keep us from moving from one half finished strategy to another.  A high S would have had the patience to see a strategy through to the end before moving on to the next one.
C:  We needed a high C on the team to point out the details we needed to accomplish to make a strategy work.  A high C would have made sure we thought through the “what if’s” before we launched.

Since that first team, I have become increasingly aware of the need to build teams of REAL diversity.  It became one of the keys to success my later teams enjoyed.

The Bottom Line:

REAL diversity takes more than a photograph or an employment application to determine.  It goes deeper than what today’s legal environment requires of employers.

REAL diversity should be more a important factor in hiring people than the government’s definition of diversity.  REAL diversity is more likely to insure hiring the best candidate for the job and upgrading the performance of a team.

I need a person who is different from the people who are already on my team.  The right fit on a team is someone with a different personality, not more of what we already have.  I learned the hard way, that it is more important for them to have different personality styles than anything else.

Question:

When has a person who is different than you are actually made you better?

Dave Anderson is coauthor of the Amazon Best-Seller Becoming a Leader of Character – Six Habits that Make or Break a Leader at Work and at Home with his father General James L. Anderson (USA Retired).
You can order Becoming a Leader of Character on Amazon by clicking here:
bit.ly/LOCBook.
You can also find Becoming a Leader of Character at Barnes and Noble, Books-a-Million and other retailers.

 

Productive Conflict – What’s Your Angle?

If a team does not engage in productive conflict, I guarantee you they are not coming up with the best solutions.

I sharpen a knife with friction.   As I drag a knife across a wet stone, I must maintain the proper angle in order to sharpen the knife’s edge. If I do not keep the knife at the correct angle, I either make it duller, or I have no impact on the edge at all.

Productive conflict is friction correctly applied.

What’s Your Angle?

Congress shows us one end of the spectrum – two sides trying to outshout one another in an all out effort to win. This is like the friction when a knife is applied to a wet stone at a 90-degree angle. The knife gets duller and quickly becomes useless.

Businesses and non-profits often show us the other side – something needs to be fixed but people believe conflict is an inherently negative term so nothing is said. This is like laying the knife flat and never having the blade touch the stone. The knife never gets sharpened and slowly becomes useless.

In both cases, the status quo reigns and Congress, businesses and non-profits fail those they are meant to serve – the country, the voters, the shareholders, the customers, the ill, and the marginalized.

Productive Conflict – Having the Right Motives

Too many people believe the goal is to win. This is why Congress is so ineffective. This is also why you can have stalemates in board meetings or in marriages. The motive of one or both parties is to win. Therefore, the knife (the team) gets duller and quickly becomes useless.

Other people believe the goal is harmony. I have worked with plenty of businesses and non-profits that never face the issues in front of them because they want harmony among the parties. This is why they make few tough decisions and the status quo remains in place even if it is ineffective. Therefore, the knife (the team) gets duller and slowly becomes useless.

What is the right motive for engaging in conflict?

The desire to find the best solution possible!

I must have the Humility to admit my solutions may not be the best, or it may not be possible based on the positions of the other parties involved. As long as I am not being asked to compromise my values, then I must be willing to find the best solution possible with the people on my team.

To read more about knowing when to compromise, click on the following blog title:

When Is It Right to Quit the Fight?

I must have the courage to speak up and challenge the status quo.  Sure it may make things uncomfortable, but friction is not comfortable.  However, friction is needed to get sharper.

To read more about avoiding harmony, click on the following blog title:

5 Keys to Avoiding Harmony

The Bottom Line:

My solution might be the best, but if it is not possible I must be willing to compromise for progress to be made. The need to have my way at all costs is like dragging a knife across a wet stone at a 90-degree angle.

At the same time, I must have the courage to engage others on my team to insure we are not settling for the vanilla, consensus solution just to keep people smiling and comfortable. Friction is necessary for my team to get sharper. I must apply the blade to the stone to create the friction to make us sharper even if a few sparks fly.

In order to have productive conflict, I must examine my motives. If my motive is to win, and only to win, conflict may happen, but it will be destructive.

If my goal is to insure harmony and comfort for all parties, nothing will happen except a slow decent into mediocrity. It all depends on the angle (my motive) for engaging in the conflict.

Question:

What makes so many leaders wary of conflict on their teams?

Dave Anderson is coauthor of the Amazon Best-Seller Becoming a Leader of Character – Six Habits that Make or Break a Leader at Work and at Home with his father General James L. Anderson (USA Retired).
You can order Becoming a Leader of Character on Amazon by clicking here:
bit.ly/LOCBook.
You can also find Becoming a Leader of Character at Barnes and Noble, Books-a-Million and other retailers.

Bad Attitudes – Entitlement and A Cure

“I deserve more!” A lot of dysfunctional attitudes can be traced back to this one statement. It is another way of saying, “I am entitled.”

When I am not happy with my day, my week or my life, I can usually trace it back to a feeling of entitlement. The belief that any of us are entitled to more than we already have is a recipe for a pity party. As a leader at work and at home, I am not entitled to anything! Especially a pity party!

Be Thankful!

The entitlement mentality is crushing western society, especially the United States. I see the complaining and protests from all ages over ridiculous things in the news.  I do not see this as a generational thing like some people do. The older generations were responsible for raising the younger ones. So be careful throwing stones in glass houses.

Most bad attitudes come from an inflated sense of importance. The arrogance that we display when we believe we are not getting our fair share of anything, is startling if you have ever visited a developing country.

Changing bad attitudes does not require us to think less of ourselves but to think of ourselves less.

When my son was 14 years old, we were able to send him on a trip to Uganda with his school. He wrote a blog about the joy of the people he met there.

Read his blog by clicking on the following title:

#Prouddad, #Service, #Simplicity

His take home lesson: “They have so little and are full of joy. We have so much and are so unhappy.”

The people in Uganda were born there. They believe things can and should get better. Yet they have a great attitude about life because they are thankful for what they HAVE and not focused on a self-inflated idea of what they DESERVE.

The problem is most of us will never visit a place where just getting to eat, makes it a good day. We have grown into a society that believes we need MORE to be happy. But that is the entitlement belief that creates the bad attitudes and pity parties that keep us from persevering and growing.

A Cure for Entitlement

The first cure for the entitlement belief that leads to bad attitudes is to visit a less fortunate people group outside of the western culture. You will witness how the lack of entitlement allows joy to shine through.

The other cure, and the one we can all afford to try, is being thankful. Thankfulness cures a lot of bad attitudes. When I start listing all the blessings in my life, I realize how good I really have it. The negative circumstances that are outside of my control pale in comparison to the positive blessings I get everyday.

I am thankful for a roof over my head.
I am thankful I have access to food when I want it.
I am thankful for clean water.
I am thankful that my wife, my children, my sister and my parents are healthy.
I am thankful I live in a country where I have a doctor in my town (1000’s actually).
I am thankful that I am physically able to earn an income.
I am thankful I have a car, a computer, a phone, and a refrigerator.
I am thankful I have firemen, police and a military that protect all these things that many people take for granted.
I am thankful that I have a son who wrote a blog that reminds me to be thankful when I behave like I am entitled to more.

I encourage anyone who is having a bad day, a bad week, or a bad year, start a list of the things you do have instead of focusing on what you don’t have. Thankfulness is a cheap cure for entitlement and an easy path to joy.

The Bottom Line:

It is Thanksgiving week in the United States. Thanksgiving is a holiday established so we can all pause and be thankful for the things we DO HAVE in life instead of focusing on the things we think we SHOULD HAVE in life.

Perhaps if we spent 364 more days a year focused on our blessings, we would not complain as much about what we do not have. As part of an older generation (Ow! That hurt.), it is my responsibility to model the thankfulness that will defeat the entitlement beliefs of our culture.

If we all model thankfulness to those around us, the whiners and the complainers will lose steam. They will witness that thankfulness is what brings joy, not getting what they think they deserve out of life.

Question:

Who do you know that has a good attitude, even in the midst of a bad circumstance?

Dave Anderson is coauthor of the Amazon Best-Seller Becoming a Leader of Character – Six Habits that Make or Break a Leader at Work and at Home with his father General James L. Anderson (USA Retired).
You can order Becoming a Leader of Character on Amazon by clicking here:
bit.ly/LOCBook.
You can also find Becoming a Leader of Character at Barnes and Noble, Books-a-Million and other retailers.