Christina Bauer's Blog, page 38
January 22, 2020
If I had written A QUIET PLACE
Here’s how I’d have written the movie, A QUIET PLACE.
***SPOILER ALERT***
A husband, Lee, comes home to his fancypants house in the woods. He takes care to tiptoe around so the monsters who now rule the world won’t hear-n-kill him. Once Lee hits the kitchen, he finds a note from his wife which says, Meet me at the waterfall – Evelyn.
Lee tiptoes over to waterfall. Evelyn is there.
“Hey honey, why aren’t you at the house?” asks Lee. “And why do you have a camp set up at this waterfall with all our kids and belongings?”
“Because we can talk at the waterfall without getting killed by the monsters.”
“Huh. But don’t you think it’s better to live at the house? We can set up little sand spots so everyone walks around silently. You can take baths. The kids will play board games. As long as we stay silent, it’s all good.”
“Because that’s a shitty idea. And I’m way wicked pregnant.”
“Hmm. I’m not sure about this.”
“Look, if you want to go tiptoeing around to find food for us, that’s cool. But I’m staying here with the kids. See how they’re learning to fish? That’s protein central. Just scrounge up some sushi rice and we’re golden.”
“But don’t you think we should live at the house and just come here to the waterfall when we want to talk without getting killed?”
“No. No. A thousand times, no.”
“Ummm… okay.”
“Thanks, Babe. And don’t forget the sushi rice.”
THE END
The post If I had written A QUIET PLACE appeared first on Monster House Books.
January 20, 2020
Sampler Blitz: PIXIELAND DIARIES
“I had so much fun meeting Calla and Dare and the world built around them. I am highly anticipating the release of the entire read. Excited!” – The Book Junkie Reads
Great news! This week marks a launch blitz for the sampler version of THE PIXIELAND DIARIES! Check below for a list of all the amazing bloggers and reviewers who are participating. You may find your next favorite site!
Get the sampler on: Amazon
Preorder Book 1 on: Amazon / Googleplay / Apple Books / Barnes & Noble / Kobo
Blog Name
Blog URL
100 Pages A Day
http://stephaniesbookreviews.weebly.com/promos
ACME Teen Books – Kids and YA Too!
https://www.acmeteenbooks.com
Adventures in Writing
http://thhernandez.com/blog-tours-4/
All the Ups and Downs
https://alltheupsandowns.blogspot.com/
Angel Leya
www.angeleya.com
Angels With Attitude Book Reviews
https://angelswithattitudebookreviews-joelle.blogspot.com
Audio and Book Jewels
https://www.facebook.com/AudioandBookJewels/
Bam Wam Tam
https://bamwamtam.blogspot.com/p/about.html
Bee’s Blog on Books
http://www.brittanihunsaker.com/category/books/reviews/
Book Briefs
http://bookbriefs.net
Book Junkie Reviews
https://www.facebook.com/BookJunkie9
Book Reviews & More by Kathy
https://bookreviewsandmorebykathy.com/
Bookish Books
https://bookishbbooks.wordpress.com/
Bookluvin Rose Reads
https://bookluvinrosereads.blogspot.com/ https://www.facebook.com/BookluvinRoseReads/ https://www.instagram.com/bookluvinrose/
Books 4 Book Nerds
https://booknerdbooks.wordpress.com
Books a Plenty Boo Reviews
https://booksaplentybookreviews.blogspot.com
Books Best Blog
https://ilikebooksbest.com
Books,Dreams,Life
https://booksdreamslife0829.blogspot.com
BooksBooks&More
http://booksbooksandmore.com
Bookworm for Kids
https://www.bookwormforkids.blogspot.com
Busy Bumble Bee Book Reviews
http://busybumblebeebookreviews.blogspot.com
Carries Book Reviews
https://carriesbookreviews.wordpress.com/
Cat’s Guilty Pleasure
http://www.facebook.com/catherinewrightbooks
CBY Book Club
https://cbybookclub.blogspot.com/
Chapters through life
https://chaptersthroughlife.blogspot.co.uk/
Character Madness and Musings
https://jenabaxterbooks.blogspot.com/
Crazy Reader book blog
https://facebook.com/crazybookblog1/
Crossroad Reviews
www.crossroadreviews.com
cupcakesandbookshelves
https://cupcakesandbookshelvesblog.wordpress.com
Essentially Bookish
http://essentiallybookish.blogspot.com
Fictional Reality
https://fictionalreality.video.blog/
Four Chicks Flipping Pages
http://fourchicksflippingpages.weebly.com
fran’s book love
https://fransbooklove.wordpress.com/
Good Books & Tasty Morsels
https://www.booksandmorsels.com/
Haddie’s Haven
https://haddieshaven.blogspot.com
Have Coffee Need Books
https://havecoffeeneedbooks.com/
Heeya’s Journal
https://heeyasjournal.wordpress.com/
I Smell Sheep
http://www.ismellsheep.com/
I’m Into Books
http://imintobooks.com
Ilovebooksandstuffblog
https://ilovebooksandstuffblog.wordpress.com/
Incidental Inspiration
https://incidentalinspiration.wordpress.com
Indy Book Fairy
http://paranormalbookfairy.blogspot.com/
Jazzy Book Reviews
https://bookreviewsbyjasmine.blogspot.com/
JB The Book Addict
https://jbthebookadict.blogspot.com/
Jessica Mobbs (@xray_chick19)
https://www.instagram.com/xray_chick19/
Karlee Kay
http://karlee-kay.blogspot.com/
Literary Winner
http://literarywinner.com
livelaughloveandbooks
https://livelaughloveandbooks.wordpress.com/
Living in a Bookworld
https://livinginabookworld.blogspot.gr
Midwest Romantic
http://midwestromanticblog.wordpress.com
Miranda Burski – Writer & Photographer
mirandaburski.com
Moohnshine’s Corner
https://moohnshinescorner.blog/
MrsJBoneDesign
http://mrsjbonedesign.blogspot.com/
Musings From An Addicted Reader
https://musingsfromanaddictedreader.wordpress.com/
My Life Loves and Passion
https://mullenarmyfamily.blogspot.com/
Mythical Books
http://mythicalbooks.blogspot.com/
O. D. Book Reviews
https://odbookreviews.com/
Ogitchida Kwe’s Book Blog
http://ogitchidabookblog.blogspot.com
OMGReads
http://omgreads.com/blog/
Paper Safari
http://www.readinggrrl.com
Phannie the ginger bookworm
https://phanniethegingerbookworm.wordpress.com
Phoebe’s Rainbow World
https://phoebesrainbowworldnet.com
pink fluffy hearts
https://pinkfluffyhearts.blogspot.com/
Pretty_Book_Whore
https://www.instagram.com/pretty_book_whore/?hl=en
Promos for Indie Author’s
https://www.facebook.com/promosforindieauthors
Quiet Pandemonium
https://quietpandemonium.com/
Read with Me
https://readwithme2018.com/
Readeropolis
https://readeropolis.blogspot.com/
Rockin’ Book Reviews
http://www.rockinbookreviews.com
Sascha Darlington’s Microcosm Explored
https://saschadarlington.me
Silence Is Read
http://www.silenceisread.com / https://www.facebook.com/silenceisread/
Silver Dagger
http://www.silverdaggertours.com/book-tours
Sincerely Karen Jo
https://sincerelykarenjo.wordpress.com/
Smada’s Book Smack
Http://smadasbooksmack.blogspot.com
So Many Books, So Little Time
https://somanybookssolittletimebookgroup.wordpress.com/
Stephanie’s Book Reports
Www.stephaniesbookreports.com
Stuck In Books
https://stuckinbooks.com
Stuck in the Stacks
stuckinthestacks.com
T’s Stuff
https://www.tsstuff.net
Teatime and Books
http://www.teatimeandbooks76.blogspot.com
The Avid Reader
http://the-avidreader.blogspot.com
The Book Addict
http://jbthebookadict.blogspot.ae/
The Book Junkie Reads . . .
https://thebookjunkiereadspromos.blogspot.com
the bookworm lodge
www.thebookwormlodge.com
The Candid Cover
https://candidcover.net
The Cover Contessa
https://www.thecovercontessa.com
The Hidden Bookshelf Club
https://thehiddenbookshelfclub.blogspot.com/
The Love Books Blogger
thelovebooksbloggers.wordpress.com
The Phantom Paragrapher
www.thephantomparagrapher.blogspot.com
The Voluptuous Book Diva
https://www.facebook.com/voluptuousbdiva and http://voluptuousbookdiva.blogspot.com
Tome Tender
http://tometender.blogspot.com
Trials and Tribulations of Writing Fiction
https://fictiontrials.wordpress.com/
Valerie Ullmer | Romance Author
http://www.valerieullmer.com
Within The Pages Of A Book
https://withinthepagesofabook.com
The post Sampler Blitz: PIXIELAND DIARIES appeared first on Monster House Books.
January 16, 2020
Deal Alert: DUTY BOUND is 99c
About DUTY BOUND (Book 1)
As the High Prince of the demon-fighting thrax, Lincoln knows he must marry for political gain. Not that he minds. For all of his eighteen years, Lincoln’s been bound to his duty. Fighting demons is his life, and he’s never given romance a second thought. Instead, the High Prince lives for the days when he leaves his hidden realm to fight demons on Earth.
Then, everything changes.
Lincoln and his nobles become forced to visit Purgatory, the home of quasi-demons (who are mostly human with a bit of demonic DNA). Here Lincoln spies Myla Lewis, a lady warrior who enflames his heart, ignites his interest, and inspires his respect. Trouble is, Myla’s also a quasi. By thrax law, Lincoln must kill anything demonic—not date them. For the first time in his life, Lincoln wonders if he’ll follow his duty…or heed the demands of his heart.
About TRICKSTER (Book 3)
See TRICKSTER on: Amazon / GooglePlay / Apple Books / Kobo / Barnes & Noble / Goodreads
Aldred, the dreaded Earl of Acca, is at it again. After discovering a new kind of fighting arbor, Aldred rips open a gateway to another world called the Primeval. The earl’s goal? Release the arbor, lock in an easy kill, and show off some supposed prowess as a slayer of unusual big bads.
After all, how hard can it be to kill a freaking tree? Super hard, as it turns out.
The earl unleashes none other than the Contagion, an uber-evil wizard in tree form. What happens next is nothing less than a disaster. The Contagion races through the portal, steals the life force of local children, and then escapes back into the Primeval. No one wants to chase after the cruel wizard, even if destroying the Contagion means healing the injured innocents.
Cue our hero, Lincoln, and his fiancée, Myla.
While everyone else runs away, Myla and Lincoln break into the Primeval with a single goal: hunt down the Contagion. Unfortunately, the couple’s only guide to the strange realm is Peli, a trickster monkey who may be in the Contagion’s service. And that isn’t the only possible treachery that Myla and Lincoln face, either. Powerful forces could be deceiving our favorite couple about the very nature of who they are and what they want.
Talk about tricksy.
“Lincoln’s hot, powerful, and so damn sweet” – Four Eyed Cat
“Love Lincoln’s POV” – The Book Junkie Reads
“An amazing book boyfriend!” – Belle, Goodreads
ANGELBOUND LINCOLN
Stories from the perspective of Mister The Prince
1. Duty Bound
2. Lincoln
3. Trickster
4. Baculum
Author’s Note To Readers: This book takes place between Angelbound Origins Book 2 SCALA and Book 3 ACCA.
Author’s Note to Self: Why do I write things out of sequence? Wasn’t SCALA published a while ago? To which I say to myself: self, this is how our gift works. Just be happy it does. And go eat more cookies. We like those.
The post Deal Alert: DUTY BOUND is 99c appeared first on Monster House Books.
January 13, 2020
Cover Reveal: PIXIELAND DIARIES
So excited to share the cover for PIXIELAND DIARIES with you! This is also an all-new series, to which I say, YEAH!!! Also-also, I love the art nouveau direction and general fairy kickassery.
So you know, this title launches on March 31st of this year, but you can get the sampler today on Amazon.
About Pixieland Diaries
WARNING
If you don’t like pixies, don’t read this diary.
If you don’t like loud-mouthed pixies who are really cool but sometimes get told they’re immature (for no reason), then definitely stop reading.
Oh, and if you’re His Awfulness The Elf Prince ‘Dare’ Darius, then you can kiss my butt. My hatred for you burns with the fire of a thousand suns. Thanks for getting me kicked out of Pixieland and exiled to attend some rando human high school on Earth. You’re the worst, even if you have a cute smile. And nice eyes. Your hair looks okay sometimes, too. But you’re still a creep and I loathe you.
And to everyone else: if you’ve read this far, then you better finish my entire diary.
My story is supernatural, wacked-out, and overall awesome.
See It On: Amazon / Googleplay / Apple Books / Barnes & Noble / Kobo
The post Cover Reveal: PIXIELAND DIARIES appeared first on Monster House Books.
January 10, 2020
Preorder Alert: Lincoln TRICKSTER
About TRICKSTER (Angelbound Lincoln Book 3) by Christina Bauer
Aldred, the dreaded Earl of Acca, is at it again. After discovering a new kind of fighting arbor, Aldred rips open a gateway to another world called the Primeval. The earl’s goal? Release the arbor, lock in an easy kill, and show off some supposed prowess as a slayer of unusual big bads.
After all, how hard can it be to kill a freaking tree?
Super hard, as it turns out.
The earl unleashes none other than the Contagion, an uber-evil wizard in tree form. What happens next is nothing less than a disaster. The Contagion races through the portal, steals the life force of local children, and then escapes back into the Primeval. No one wants to chase after the cruel wizard, even if destroying the Contagion means healing the injured innocents.
Cue our hero, Lincoln, and his fiancée, Myla.
While everyone else runs away, Myla and Lincoln break into the Primeval with a single goal: hunt down the Contagion. Unfortunately, the couple’s only guide to the strange realm is Peli, a trickster monkey who may be in the Contagion’s service. And that isn’t the only possible treachery that Myla and Lincoln face, either. Powerful forces could be deceiving our favorite couple about the very nature of who they are and what they want.
Talk about tricksy.
“Lincoln’s hot, powerful, and so damn sweet” – Four Eyed Cat
“Love Lincoln’s POV” – The Book Junkie Reads
“An amazing book boyfriend!” – Belle, Goodreads
ANGELBOUND LINCOLN
Stories from the perspective of Mister The Prince
1. Duty Bound
2. Lincoln
3. Trickster
4. Baculum
Author’s Note To Readers: You can read this book after Angelbound Origins SCALA or not. I wrote it to work either way.
Author’s Note to Self: Why do I write things out of sequence? Wasn’t SCALA published a while ago? To which I say to myself: self, this is how our gift works. Just be happy it does. And go eat more cookies. We like those.
The post Preorder Alert: Lincoln TRICKSTER appeared first on Monster House Books.
January 7, 2020
Book Trailer: My 2020 Book Release Schedule
Hello,
So I made this book trailer to celebrate my six new releases that are coming in 2020! They are listed below and shown off in the trailer itself. I hope you enjoy it!
CB
February – Trickster
Enjoy even more of Angelbound experience as told by Prince Lincoln! Book three, Trickster, goes live in February. SEE IT ON: Amazon / GooglePlay / Apple Books / Kobo / Barnes & Noble
March – Pixieland Diaries
This all-new series tells the story of sassy pixie Calla and ‘her’ elf prince, Dare. The sampler (cover shown above) launches in January as an Amazon exclusive, while the full title version of Pixieland Diaries goes live in March. SEE IT ON: Amazon / Googleplay / Apple Books / Barnes & Noble / Kobo
April – ECHO Academy
Science geek Meimi Archer is back! Like all stories in the Dimension Drift series, ECHO Academy features adventure, snark, and hot aliens. SEE IT ON: Amazon / Googleplay / Apple Books / Kobo / B&N
June – Kaps
The story of the next generation of Angelbound continues with Kaps! She’s a dragon shifter, trouble maker and lead singer for Cool Daze. SEE IT ON: Amazon / Googleplay / Apple Books
September – Quasi Redux
Myla and Lincoln’s story continues with Quasi Redux, in which our favorite couple gets to fall in love all over again … after hating on each other all over again. SEE IT ON: Googleplay / Apple Books / Amazon
November – Bandits and Ball Gowns
My Fairy Tales of the Magicorum series continues with Bandits and Ball Gowns, which tells the rest of the story for Alec and Elle! SEE IT ON: Amazon / Apple Books / Googleplay
NOTE: If the trailer doesn’t show up for some reason, you can also click here to see it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kaVoZqRZU3w
The post Book Trailer: My 2020 Book Release Schedule appeared first on Monster House Books.
January 5, 2020
My 2020 Release Schedule
Dear Readers,
First of all, there’s one thing I need to get out of the way before we begin; 2020 will mark my second year as a full-time author!!!
:::does happy dance:::
Whew. That felt good.
Which segues to my second thing. I’m SUPER EXCITED to share my plans for the next twelve months. There’s a fun new series coming up … as well as lots to build on with all your favorites.
Take a look!
February – Trickster
Now you can enjoy even more of the Angelbound experience as told by Prince Lincoln! Book three in the Lincoln series, Trickster, goes live in February!
And I fucking love this cover.
See It On: Amazon / GooglePlay / Apple Books / Kobo / Barnes & Noble
March – Pixieland Diaries
This all-new series tells the story of sassy pixie Calla and ‘her’ elf prince, Dare. The sampler (cover shown above) launches in January as an Amazon exclusive, while the full title version of Pixieland Diaries goes live in March.
BONUS: The actual cover for the full title will be revealed January 14th!
See It On: Amazon / Googleplay / Apple Books / Barnes & Noble / Kobo
April – ECHO Academy
Science geek Meimi Archer is back in my latest dystopian adventure! Like all stories in the Dimension Drift series, ECHO Academy features adventure, snark, and hot aliens.
See It On: Amazon / Googleplay / Apple Books / Kobo / B&N
June – Kaps
The story of the next generation of Angelbound continues with Kaps! She’s a dragon shifter, trouble maker and lead singer for Cool Daze.
See It On: Amazon / Googleplay / Apple Books
September – Quasi Redux
Myla and Lincoln’s story continues with Quasi Redux, in which our favorite couple gets to fall in love all over again … after hating on each other all over again.
See It On: Googleplay / Apple Books / Amazon
November – Bandits and Ball Gowns
My Fairy Tales of the Magicorum series continues with Bandits and Ball Gowns, which tells the rest of the story for Alec and Elle!
See It On: Amazon / Apple Books / Googleplay
So there you have it: a very busy 2020! I look forward to sharing it with you!
Christina
The post My 2020 Release Schedule appeared first on Monster House Books.
December 29, 2019
My Magicorum Box Set Is Only $1.99! Here’s Why This Makes Me Unreasonably Happy
GooglePlay, Amazon, Kobo, Apple Books and Barnes & Noble
Here are four reasons why I’m super duper happy about this discount …
One. Money is a pain in the ass.
I’d love it if I could just do my thing (which in my head means write my stories) and still auto-magically pay my bills, buuuuuuuut REALITY. I’m sure you feel the same way too sometimes. As a result, it makes me unreasonably happy when I can discount my stuff. Fuck money!
Two. I am a control freak.
One thing I totally dig about being an independent author is CONTROL. To enable this promotion, I just changed some online forms and BOOM. Sale is live. No pleading with anyone. Mwah hah fucking hah hah.
Three. More kick-ass fairy tale chicks, please.
A perceptive reader pointed out that Magicorum is the only series where the fairy tale characters both know they are fairy tale characters and fight against that reality. Discounting this series (hopefully!) means that more people get to enjoy it. :::happy dance:::
Four. SLIPPERS AND THIEVES is here!
This box set bundles up books 1-3 in the Fairy Tales of the Magicorum, and that’s to celebrate the launch of book 4, SLIPPERS AND THIEVES! It’s an all-new take on the Cinderella where she doesn’t stay trapped in a shit home life while having perfectly marketable skills to LEAVE. WOOT WOOT! The book is now on sale at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Apple Books, Kobo & GooglePlay!
So that’s it … my four reasons why I’m super psyched to have some discounts now live for Magicorum Box Set! Say it with me: Huzzah!
The post My Magicorum Box Set Is Only $1.99! Here’s Why This Makes Me Unreasonably Happy appeared first on Monster House Books.
December 19, 2019
Launch Savings: RHODES
RHODES tells the epic conclusion to the story of the lovers and dragon shifters, Rhodes and Zinnia. Need to catch up on some or all of the books before RHODES? Great news! There’s now a box set of all three previous titles at one low bundled price because that’s how I roll…
Order: GooglePlay / Amazon / Barnes & Noble / AppleBooks / Kobo
ABOUT THE BOOK
Elementals, dragons, and romance … oh my! All three books of the popular Angelbound Origins series are now in one ebook collection!
MAXON (Book 1)
Prince Maxon may be twenty-two years old now, but he’s still haunted by his boyhood abduction and torture in Hell. To deal with his past, Maxon limits his present-day activities to killing demons and seducing women. No long-term relationships. No combat too dangerous. No problem, right? Wrong. Maxon’s about to find out the true meaning of love and sacrifice, thanks to a lovely warrior named Lianna.
PORTIA (Book 2)
Princess Portia is one of the Marked: someday she’ll transform into a dreaded Void demon. To fight this horrible fate, Portia’s spent her life in libraries, learning magic that might break the dark demonic spell. But when the Void threaten to destroy all of the after-realms—and the handsome dragon Emperor Tempest offers his help—then Portia realizes that she may actually be marked for far more than a demon.
Fate is calling the bookworm princess onto the battlefield, and it’s a fight against both demonic enemies and her own heart’s desires.
ZINNIA (Book 3)
As the last dragon shifter, I live alone, hiding in one of Earth’s sacred deserts. My human handlers tell me that I have no parents, no name, and no purpose other than to train for battle and one day become a vessel for the reincarnation of Chimera, the greatest dragon shifter of all. Sadly, Chimera’s rebirth will mean my own death. But my handlers say this sacrifice is a noble fate that will rebuild the dragon shifter world.
I shall die on my seventeenth birthday. That’s five days from now.
Then I hear music thumping across the desert. I take my mortal form, follow the sound, and find humans dancing in what they call a rave. There is a stage and a rock band. One thing quickly becomes clear: Unlike the audience, the musicians are dragon shifters, just like me. And one of them, the guitar player Rhodes, makes my knees turn watery. The lead singer, Kaps, has something strangely familiar about her.
It all adds up to one conclusion: My handlers lied to me. I’m not the last of my kind. Memories reappear. I had parents once. Portia and Tempest. I even had a name. Zinnia. Perhaps I have a reason to live as well. I step past the dancing humans to confront the players.
I will find out the full truth, no matter what.
“I loved the romance in this novel … Plus, the action scenes and powers/abilities were truly epic!” – The Not So Public Library
Angelbound Offspring
1. Maxon
2. Portia
3. Zinnia
4. Rhodes
5. Kaps
6. Huntress
The post Launch Savings: RHODES appeared first on Monster House Books.
December 18, 2019
Launch Raffle: RHODES
To celebrate, there’s a kickass raffle with lots of cooly cool stuff, like a SUH-weet dragon journal. To enter, click here or enter the following URL into your browser: https://tinyurl.com/cb19raffle
About RHODES
As dragon shifters, Rhodes and Zinnia should never have fallen in love. Why? Zin’s a princess while Rhodes is only the hired help. If the pair remain in the dragon realm, then age-old prejudices might tear them apart.
But returning to Earth isn’t any better. In the human world, Rhodes and Zin are a musical sensation … and fame’s an even bigger relationship killer. Not to mention the fact that their old nemesis, Killian, keeps hatching evil plots against them. Bottom line? Rhodes has huge decisions to make, both for himself and Zin.
Sadly, it isn’t clear what path—if any—will end with Rhodes and his love having a future together.
***The epic conclusion to the story of Rhodes and Zinnia! 30,000+ words***
SEE IT ON: Amazon / Barnes & Noble / Kobo / Apple Books / GooglePlay
Angelbound Offspring
1. Maxon
2. Portia
3. Zinnia
4. Rhodes
5. Kaps
6. Huntress
The post Launch Raffle: RHODES appeared first on Monster House Books.
