C.K. Burch's Blog, page 211
March 15, 2015
I don’t have a job right now and I don’t know what I’m doing.I walked out of my last job. To say...
I don’t have a job right now and I don’t know what I’m doing.
I walked out of my last job. To say that it was unhealthy is a bit of an understatement. I went into a management position with the best and most positive of intentions, and it quickly spun out of control into a negative atmosphere where every step forward was perceived as two steps backwards. Needless to say, it got to the point where I requested assistance with a shift and was met with snide remarks in front of the rest of the employees by another manager. Thus I gathered my belongings and walked out.
I haven’t been unemployed in ten years and I’m pretty fucking scared out of my wits.
I don’t hold myself in high regard. I don’t trust myself to make it through. I suffer from high anxiety and self-doubt. Whether or not I’m actually suffering from depression is difficult to say; I don’t know, and personally I’m not in a place to make that judgement. All I know is that I hit a breaking point where I pride myself on not having a breaking point and I had to get out of a negative environment.
I feel fruitless. I feel limp.
Writing this is an attempt at catharsis, to maybe expunge some of these negative feelings about myself somehow in order to get back up and go apply for more jobs. I’ve applied for five in the last three weeks, and I’ve had three interviews. I turned one job down because I didn’t like the atmosphere or the condescending attitude of the manager; part of me feels like that was a huge mistake because, well, I need a job. But it’s hard to jump from one negative boss to another.
I’m trying to find some motivation. There’s a part of me that’s very, very stubborn and wants to make a living off of writing. The rational side of me thinks that is not a probable idea at the moment, simply because I’m too stubbornly independent and I want to write what I want. So I apply for more jobs. I just need to get up and keep moving and I’m having a really hard time doing it.
tl;dr - I don’t know what I’m doing and I don’t know how to get out of it.
March 14, 2015
thecaliforniakings:In addition to inquiring with the Venturer’s...
In addition to inquiring with the Venturer’s Desires and taking on a new First Officer, King Chris sets zail to service the stories of both the Irrepressible Cannoneer and the Bandaged Poissonnier. With these all-new options — and more coming down the pike — Chris has hit renewed interest in combing through the tales of the Unterzee! Like, comment, and subscribe for more, and hang onto your hats as there’s some real fun coming up.
March 13, 2015
thecaliforniakings:After uploading a surprise visit to Quake 3...
After uploading a surprise visit to Quake 3 Arena in the Mystery Box, King Chris unwittingly sparked some dick-measuring amongst he and the other Kings as to who could rock the arena better. This is his entry in the challenge, racking up as many frags as possible in ten minutes. Who will be the ultimate victor?
thecaliforniakings:Yeah you read that right I’m a rocket whore...
Yeah you read that right I’m a rocket whore and proud to be one. This is a kill challenge that my brother Chris decided to involve us in to save his dick size, but he failed. Gore, mayhem, creepy clown upshots, just another day in Quake 3.
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thecaliforniakings:After King Chris uploaded his Mystery Box...
After King Chris uploaded his Mystery Box entry, smack talk ensued between the Kings, and a challenge was issued to see who could get the most frags in ten minutes.
This is the story of King Casey’s ten minutes.
sadellite:
manda:
fats:
lisquid:
This will be the cutest...
fats:
This will be the cutest video you will see today. My grandparents found baby sea turtles on their doorstep this morning so they released them one by one!
please turn on your volume omg
this made my night
My heart
"“All right,” said Susan. “I’m not stupid. You’re saying humans need… fantasies to make life..."
“All right,” said Susan. “I’m not stupid. You’re saying humans need… fantasies to make life bearable.”
REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE.
"Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little—"
YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.
"So we can believe the big ones?"
YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.
"They’re not the same at all!"
YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET—Death waved a hand. AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME…SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.
"Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what’s the point—"
MY POINT EXACTLY.”
”- Terry Pratchett, Hogfather (via lostdollsclub)
March 12, 2015
thecaliforniakings:After a crash landing in the Mayan jungle,...
After a crash landing in the Mayan jungle, James Lee Quatermain decides to get dangerous and battle the onslaught of Soviets and a distinct lack of Nazis (seriously, weren’t they the main villains at some point?). King Chris decides to get lost in the jungle, and not much else. The upside: we are that much closer to being done with this game! Oh, the marathon. Like, comment, and subscribe for something more entertaining in the future!
thecaliforniakings:Well, now. Iconic gaming? What could King...
Well, now. Iconic gaming? What could King Chris be playing on the Mystery Box today? Well, you don’t know if you don’t click play, but make sure you’ve got your seatbelts drawn real tight so you don’t go flying out of your chair. Classic, visceral gameplay from one of the best and fastest games ever made. That’s all you get for hints, boys and girls. Now prepare to hear Chris talk like an old man about what “real games” are, and open the Mystery Box!
